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for
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my aunt will be down presently Mr
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nuttle in the meantime you must try and
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put up with
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me
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it is very kind of you to wait with
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me your aunt
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Mrs
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sappleton I'm I'm looking forward to
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meeting her I'm sure do you know many of
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the people around here hardly or Soul
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I'm afraid my sister stayed at the
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rectory for years ago and uh she's given
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me some letters of
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introduction
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oh
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oh then you know practically nothing
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about my aunt I know her name and
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address her great tragedy happened just
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3 years ago that would be after your
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sister's time a
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tragedy
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you may wonder why we keep these French
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doors open on such a cold afternoon it
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is quite warm for the time of
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year out through those doors 3 years ago
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to a day my aunt's husband and her two
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sons went off for their day
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shooting they never came came
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back crossing the mo to their favorite
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snip shooting ground all three were
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engulfed in a treacherous piece of
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bug their bodies were never
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recovered that was the awful part of
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it no
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grave no
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marker poor aunt thinks that they will
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come back someday they in the little
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brown Labrador that was lost with them
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and walk in as they used to
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she spends hours
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Sitting
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Waiting watching through the open
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doors she won't allow them to be shut
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until it's dark
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outside I'm sorry do sit down Mr
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nuttle
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that was done shortly before
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they poor dear
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Aunt she's often told me of how they
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went out her husband with his waterproof
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coat over his arm and running her eldest
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son teasing her the te better be ready
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when we return mama or they'll be held
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to
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pay do you
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know
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sometimes on still quiet evenings like
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this I almost get a feeling that they
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will all just walk in through those
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doors
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I'm terribly sorry for keeping you
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waiting Mr nuttle I hope Vera has been
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amusing
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you she has been very
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interesting oh I hope you don't mind the
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French doors my husband and my sons will
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be home directly from shooting and they
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always come in this
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way they've been out for snip and
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marshes today so they'll make a fine
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mess of my carpets typical of you men
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folk isn't
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it they're calling it nervous
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exhaustion it's in the family
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as you know my uh
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sister is the tea ready make sure it
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is I seem to remember your
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sister
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yes sweet
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lady it's your sort don't come down so
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much
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anymore
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I hope your stay will be
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peaceful are you a shooting man Mr
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nuttle
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Milk uh just a little it hasn't been the
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same these last few years the rain and
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the mud you see it's made an infernal
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Quagmire at the marshes the doctors
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agree in ordering me complete rest an
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absence of mental excitement and
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anything in the nature of violent
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physical
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exercise on the subject of diet though
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they are not in such
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agreement
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no
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oh here they are at
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last and don't they look as if they're
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muddy up to the
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eyes
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the team better be ready
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M oh you're covered in mud no fairly
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muddy my dear but most of it try they'll
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need to get used to it if we go to war
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oh please let's not talk about that
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we'll be home by Christmas you'll see
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check who was that a bed out as we came
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up the most extraordinary man a Mr
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nuttle he he talked about nothing but
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his illnesses and then he dashed off
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without a word of goodbye or apology
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when you came
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in I expect it was the labrador he told
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me he had a horror of dogs he was once
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hunted into a cemetery on the bank to
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the gandes by a pack of pariah dogs and
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had to spend the night in a newly dug
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grave with the creatures snarling and
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grinning and foaming just above him
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enough to make anyone lose their nerve I
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dare
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say
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don't take myling boy
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away take him
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to you took his father and brother
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free now you come back
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for
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for
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[Music]
Bertie Fitzfooletop, King of Romance,
Had but one passion – and that was to dance;
Some say his brain was so heavy withal
He had to keep bounding to stand up at all!
I met young Bertie one night at the Club
Bounding about like an India-rubber ball!
I said: “Bertie, boy, why do you bound?
What have you found wrong with the ground?
You should stop at the sixpenny hop,
We’re not playing rounders!”
He said “Old chappie if I were bound,
I’ll be bound I should still have to bound
(la ti tiddley i ti too)
For I’m one of the bounders!”
Bertie one day in his wonderful brain
Hatch’d up a scheme for an aeroplane:
Took little Susie aloft for a ride,
Started proposing, forgetting to guide!
She said: “How sudden!” as downward they flew;
Sue was near Bertie and Bertie near Suicide
(Oh, look at ’em!)
I said: “Bertie, boy, why do you bound?
What have you found wrong with the ground?
Mind your socks when you get on the rocks,
You’re no sev’nteen pounder!”
He said: “Old chappie, I’m homeward bound:
One more bound, and I’ll bound where I’m bound
(la ti tiddley i ti too)
For I’m one of the bounders!”
Bertie met Gertie one day at the Rink,
Rounding a corner, she tipped him a wink,
Tipped into Bertie who gave a few pulls
Tipped over backwards against all the rules.
Over they went with their heels in the air –
People cried “Shame!” and “My word! What a pair – of fools!”
(ah)
I said: “Bertie, boy, why do you bound?
What have you found wrong with the ground?
You don’t appeal as a catherine wheel
Among the flappers and flounders!”
He said: “Old chappie, if I’m unbound,
You may be bound, I shall have it rebound
(la ti tiddley i ti too)
For I’m one of the bounders!”
