OET WRITING CORRECTION SERVICE
SAMPLE - NURSING
21 Jan 2022 Commented [ESL1]: January
(Using short forms is informal)
Dr Ahmed Nour
Emergency Physician
Frimley Park Hospital, Commented [ESL2]: (Punctuate the address
Portsmouth Rd completely or avoid using punctuations here.)
Frimley
Camberley GU 16 7UJ
United Kingdom.
Dear Dr Ahmed Nour, Commented [ESL3]: (Use last name/surname with
appropriate title in the greeting.)
Re: Ms Donna Paul, DOB: 21/01/1952.
I am writing to refer Ms Donna Paul, a resident in our aged care facility, who attempted suicide with an Commented [ESL4]: (Mention the patient's full
overdose of blood thinner medication. She is referred to you for urgent medical and approppriate name at the first occurrence in the introduction
paragraph also.)
psychological management.
Commented [ESL5]: requires
(The keyword ‘refer’ is already used.)
Ms Paul underwent cardiac catheterization with two bare metal stents insertion on 17-01-2022 and was
Commented [ESL6]: 17/01/2022
discharged to our facility yesterday morning. She was depressed since then, and not interested in talking (Be consistent with the date format in the reference
to her favorite nurses. She preferred to stay in bed, and was unwilling to walk and awake even late at line and paragraphs.)
night. Commented [ESL7]: has been
At 8am today, she was found crying and shaking. Her pillow and bed were stained with blood from her Commented [ESL8]: (This paragraph discussing
nose and bloody urine, respectively. Furthermore, eEmpty bottles of alcohol and clopidogrel were found recent information can be written after introduction as
Body Paragraph 1 as it is an urgent referral.)
beside her bed. She admitted to overdosing herself by mixing the contents to get her son to visit her.
Commented [ESL9]: Ms Paul
(Avoid using gender pronouns at the first occurrence in
Socially, she is a widow, and her son visits her rarely. She had a huge fight on the phone with him and a paragraph.)
begged him to come and see her a weeks ago. She has had hypertension since 2010, ischemic heart (The same correction rule applies in the rest of the
disease since 2015, and myocardial infrarction in 2021. She had fallopian tube resection after ectopic letter wherever repeated.)
pregnancy and cesarean delivery. Please note, her current medications are clopidogrel 75 mg bid, lasix 20 Commented [ESL10]: (The following
connectors/linking words are not accepted in OET
mg bid and carvedilol 20 mg bid.
writing: so, because, moreover, meanwhile, besides,
furthermore, thus, hence, thereafter, apart from
In the light the above, it would be appreciated if you could urgently manage the patient’s drug this/that and later on)
intoxication. Moreover, please evaluate and manage her psychological status. Commented [ESL11]: visit
Commented [ESL12]: (Using Latin abbreviations
Should you require any further information, please feel free to contact me. is informal. Try to write full English forms)
(The same correction rule applies in the rest of the
letter wherever repeated.)
Yours Sincerely,
Commented [ESL13]: L
(Capitalize brand names of the medicines.)
Residential nurse
Commented [ESL14]: Ms Paul’s
(Avoid using ‘the/this/my/a patient’; it is less polite.)
Commented [ESL15]: Additionally
Report Commented [ESL16]: (Less formal)
Word Length 220 Commented [ESL17]: s
Comments The purpose is immediately apparent and developed sufficiently in Commented [ESL18]: N
the letter.
The salutation used at the start (greeting) is not appropriate. The
letter tries to include relevant case notes, but it includes
irrelevant/redundant information/details also. The word count
slightly exceeds the desired limit. However, the content is not
organized based on the letter type (urgent referral). *Style and
tone are not appropriate in places. There are inaccuracies
pertaining to spelling, capitalization, vocabulary, punctuations,
basic grammar and sentence structure.
Overall, the letter needs improvement.
Estimated Grade C+
Estimated Score 320/500
Advice 1. Always read and select case notes carefully
2. Revise grammar.
3. Punctuate the letter appropriately.
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4. Improve choice of words.
5. Pay more attention to the structure of sentences.
6. For urgent referrals, give priority to the most recent symptoms
and needs
7. Try to finish the letter in 200 words by writing information in
brief wherever possible.
8. *Use appropriate salutations in the letter.
9. *Refer to the patient appropriately in the letter.
10. *Avoid using outdated/informal/academic connectors.
11. *Replace Latin abbreviation(s) with their full English form(s).
12. *Avoid using informal words and phrases.
13. *Use expanded forms instead of short forms.
14. Always proofread the letter after finishing it.
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