Chapter 8: Unfavourable News Answer Key
Writing Improvement Exercises
1. Evaluating Subject Lines
a) Changes to Your Insurance Premiums
b) Employment Status
c) Equipment Protection Policy
d) Photocopier Use Changes
e) Protect Your Google Calendar Security
2. Choosing a Direct or an Indirect Approach
a) Direct
b) Indirect
c) Direct
d) Indirect
e) Indirect
f) Indirect
3. Evaluating Buffer Statements
a) Weakness: Too positive; sets the reader up for good news
b) Weakness: Unnecessary apology
c) Strength: Expresses appreciation and relevant general fact. Weakness: Depending on
the bad news, the buffer may be too positive and set the reader up to expect good news
d) Weakness: Reveals the bad news; harsh, inappropriate tone
e) Strength: General principle or fact
f) Weakness: Reveals the bad news
g) Weakness: Trivial compliment
4. Softening the Bad News with Subordinate Clauses and the Passive Voice
a) Although credit cannot be extended to you at this time, we invite you to fill your order
on a cash basis.
b) Service charges on chequing accounts cannot be waived.
c) Although the information you requested cannot be sent to you, we can provide you with
an updated price list.
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d) Although a more expensive item cannot be substituted for the one you purchased, we are
sending you a complimentary upgrade kit.
5. Evaluating Bad News Statements
a) Weakness: Negative language (utterly impossible). Revision: Your order will be shipped
after November 1.
b) Weakness: Inappropriate harsh tone. Revision: Your complaint cannot be acted upon
because three years have passed since your purchase.
c) Weakness: Negative language (failed, refuse). Revision: A refund cannot be given
without a sales receipt.
d) Weakness: Fine qualifications sounds insincere when the reader isn’t being hired.
Revision: Although we cannot offer you a position at this time, we wish you the best in
finding employment.
e) Weakness: Bad news not in a dependent clause or passive voice; negative language
(unpleasant). Revision: Although your request cannot be granted, we can assure you that
your next visit to our conference facilities will be pleasant.
f) Weakness: To be honest implies the writer usually is not honest; reason given is writer-
based, discloses confidential information, and is not relevant to the reader. Revision:
Although we must hire from within, you have a good résumé.
g) Weakness: Active voice used; reason given is writer-based, discloses confidential
information, and is not relevant to the reader. Revision: The information you requested
cannot be provided.
h) Weakness: Bad news not de-emphasized. Revision: Credit cards cannot be accepted. OR:
We can serve you on a cash basis.
6. Evaluating Closings
a) Weakness: Assumes reader understanding; hope doesn’t sound confident. Revision:
We look forward to seeing you in our store soon.
b) Weakness: Unnecessary apology; lacks genuine goodwill with reminder of difficulty
finding employment. Revision: Although we cannot accept your application, I wish you
luck in finding employment.
c) Weakness: Unnecessary apology; hope doesn’t sound confident; uses negative language
(inconvenience). Revision: We look forward to assisting you with our other services.
d) Weakness: Repeats the bad news. Revision: We issue refunds if merchandise is
undamaged and returned within ten days of the date of purchase.
e) Weakness: Unnecessary negative information. Revision: We would be happy to help
you with future inquiries.
7. Declining an Invitation
Answers will vary.
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Case Study Exercises
1. Refusing a Request
Brandwise Solution
1510 Long Lake Road
Sudbury, ON N3A 2P9
January 12, 2017
Mr. George Shin
National Business
52 Winchester Street
Toronto, ON N2C 1K8
Dear Mr. Shin:
Subject: Case-Study Article Request
I look forward to my monthly issue of National Business, and I am flattered that you have
asked me to write a case-study article.
Maintaining a high level of professional ethics is important to me, my company, and our
clients. Recently, Goliath has been one of our clients, so writing about the company’s
branding presents a possible conflict of interest. Although I must decline your offer to write an
article about Goliath, I’ve enclosed a business card of a peer, who is an excellent writer of
business issues, and she may be able to write the article for you.
Good luck with next month’s issue, and I look forward to having the opportunity to write for
an upcoming issue.
Sincerely,
Karla Doering Consultant
Enclosure
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2. Refusing a Claim
Audiophile CDs and Multimedia
42 Stanley Park Way
Vancouver, BC N3A 2P9
May 11, 2017
Mr. Jason Yee
63 North Crescent
Vancouver, BC N2C 1K8
Dear Mr. Yee:
Subject: Refund Policy on CDs
We appreciate your taking the time to write us about your CD purchase, and we welcome the
opportunity to explain our refund policies.
Advances in technology have enabled the increase of music piracy, which has prompted the
enactment of updated copyright laws. Because of our respect of those laws and the music
industry, we accept only CDs that are unopened. Although we cannot refund your purchase,
our used CD store can buy your CDs for 60 per cent of their original cost, which will allow
you to purchase a number of new CDs to enjoy.
We value your business and will continue to offer refunds on your unopened CDs.
Sincerely,
Gus Traynor
Owner and Proprietor
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3. Refusing a Claim
Information Systems
1400 Technology Drive
Toronto, ON N3A 2P9
February 24, 2017
Mr. Roger Laramie, Assistant Manager
Information Systems
321 Stampede Way
Calgary, AB N2C 1K8
Dear Mr. Laramie:
Subject: Moving Expenses Request
We are pleased that you have joined our Calgary office and hope you and your family have
settled into your new home.
We offer moving reimbursements when employees book their moves with Express Movers,
which offers reduced rates through our corporate account. A long-distance move for a typical
home of your size costs $5000 through Express Movers; this standard reimbursement ensures
all employees are treated equally during moves and allows us to continue offering moving
expense reimbursements to employees who want to relocate. Although the full costs of your
move with Elite Movers cannot be reimbursed, we can reimburse you for the $5000 allocated
for all transferring employees.
We wish you and your family a pleasant transition into your new jobs and neighbourhood.
Sincerely,
Lilly Gao Human Resources Manager
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4. Refusing a Claim
Cedar Country Decks and Fences
112 Sawack Court
Kitchener, ON N3A 2P9
October 12, 2017
Mr. Josh Starowicz, President
Animatronix Computer Animation
645 Allen Street East
Waterloo, ON N2C 1K8
Dear Mr. Starowicz:
Subject: Deck Repair Request
Congratulations on your move to your Allen Street century building. You and your staff must
be enjoying the beautiful building and view of the scenic neighbourhood from your rooftop
deck.
We guarantee our decks when they have been maintained as recommended. Although your
deck cannot be repaired under warranty, I would be happy to provide you with a 20 per cent
discount on the needed repairs.
Please call me to book an inspection. I look forward to working with you on revitalizing your
deck.
Sincerely,
Vikram Vassanji Owner
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5. Refusing Credit
Concept Office Furniture
R.R. 1
Williamsford, ON N0H 2V0
April 12, 2017
Mr. Allan Medwell
Discount Realty
321 Lacshinger Crescent
New Hamburg, ON N2C 1K8
Dear Mr. Medwell:
Subject: Credit Application
Thank you for your order of 150 modular office furniture sets. Many customers have given
positive reviews of these new units, and we’re certain your employees will enjoy them as well.
According to our standard practice, we submitted your credit application to Credit Security
Co. After carefully reviewing the report, we determined that credit cannot be extended to you
at this time. When your firm’s financial situation improves, we look forward to serving you on
a credit basis.
In the meantime, we will be happy to fill your order on a cash basis, with our customary 4 per
cent cash discount.
We appreciate your business over the last five years and look forward to continuing to provide
your company with furniture. Please call me at 1-800-555-1212 to process your current and
future orders. Sincerely,
Melissa Shim
Credit Manager
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6. Announcing Bad News to Employees
MEMORANDUM
TO: All Employees
FROM: Vicki Dramnitzke, Health and Safety Committee Chair
SUBJECT: Complimentary Healthy Snacks
DATE: October 13, 2017
Research shows that skipping meals and eating high-fat, high-carbohydrate snacks results in
several negative effects, such as weight gain, fatigue, and decreased overall health.
To help employees feel well and live healthy lifestyles, the Health and Safety Committee
voted in favour of providing healthy snacks in the employee kitchenettes starting next month.
Although the coffee and cookies will no longer be available, you will be able to enjoy a
selection of complimentary fresh fruits, whole-grain snacks, and spring water.
You can find links to information about the effects of skipping meals and different types of
snacks on the Health and Safety Committee’s Intranet web pages.
7. Announcing Bad News to Employees
Subject: Employee Use of Onsite Fitness Program
Date: January 3, 2017
From: Ki Won Ling <[Link]@[Link]>
To: All Staff
Hello,
Many employees have been enjoying the free lunch-hour and after-work yoga and Pilates
classes offered over the past year.
To keep the costs of these sessions low enough so that we can continue running them and to
maintain employee security, participation is open to employees only.
For additional information about the sessions, look at our Intranet site under “Employee
Benefits.”
Regards,
Ki Won
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8. Announcing Bad News to Employees
Subject: Holiday Celebration Changes
Date: October 13, 2017
From: Callan Gruber <[Link]@[Link]>
To: All Staff
Greetings,
The holiday celebration scheduled for Saturday is postponed because the venue, the Fallsview
Terrance, has experienced a serious outbreak of salmonella and has been shut down by the
regional board of health.
Because recognizing our achievements over the past year is important, we will reschedule the
party for early in the New Year when other reputable venues are available. In the meantime,
employees will have the opportunity to socialize and celebrate the season with a potluck lunch
on Friday afternoon from 12:00 to 2:00 p.m. in the main boardroom.
Details about the postponed holiday celebration will be provided when scheduling
arrangements are made. I look forward to sharing good food and conversation with you on
Friday.
Regards,
Callan
9. Announcing Bad News to Customers
Subject: Virus Alert
Date: October 13, 2017
From: Dwayne Felder <[Link]@[Link]>
To: Franco Vitello <[Link]@[Link]>
Dear Mr. Vitello,
Our network detected that our members may be affected by a virus that causes a significant
volume of e-mails to be sent from users’ computers without their knowledge. The virus has
affected only a small number of members; however, we provide regular virus updates to all of
our members to control viruses and help our members upgrade their operating systems.
Please let us know by calling our toll-free line (1-800-234-5678) if you have any questions or
suspect you are affected by the virus so we can help you resolve it quickly.
Sincerely, Dwayne
Dwayne Felder
Member Services Team Chief
CompuCare
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10. Announcing Bad News to Employees
Subject: Upcoming Change
Date: January 10, 2017
From: Garth Thomas <[Link]@[Link]>
To: All Staff
Greetings,
Businesses located in downtown Toronto pay high property taxes and corporate rental rates.
These costs are particularly burdensome during these difficult economic times.
When we were notified recently that our office premises are being expropriated for a
condominium development, we found office space in Pickering, which allows us to avoid the
high costs of downtown Toronto. Although as of Friday, March 5 our facilities will be
relocated to 1355 Kingston Street in Pickering, we can avoid layoffs with the savings and
increased square footage the new location offers. Employees will also enjoy a new state-of-
the-art facility, which is fully wired, has ample parking, and has easy access to public transit.
Telephone and computer systems will be operational until midnight on Thursday, March 4,
and will work at the new location by 9:00 the next morning. Please have your boxes (available
from the Facilities Department) packed and labelled with your name by 5:00 p.m. on March 4
when the moving company will arrive. Usual business hours and processes will resume at the
new office on March 5.
Call me if you have questions or would like to discuss the moving process or schedule.
Regards,
Garth
Garth Thomas
President
11. Responding to Negative Social Media Posts
Hello jvr935,
Thank you for taking the time to share your experience at The Grand Superior. We strive to
provide guests with an amazing boutique-hotel experience, so we take your feedback seriously. I
have sent you an e-mail to continue our discussion.
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