INTRA - INTERPERSONAL

RELATIONSHIP ORIENTATION
PROFILE
Developmental Report

FIRO-FLEX

Rakhee Singh

[email protected]

September 2023
 INTRODUCTION
The purpose of this report is to show how your results from the
Interpersonal Orientation assessment can help you understand
possible roots of your behaviour with and toward others in your
organization. Information from this tool can help you choose
actions that help both you and the others. You can identify
options for increasing your satisfaction and thereby productivity
and explore alternative ways to achieve your goals. It will also
help you understand your behaviour and the behaviour of others
in your organization. Information from the Interpersonal
Orientation tool can help you maximize the impact of your
actions, identify options for increasing your job satisfaction and
productivity, and explore alternative ways to achieve your goals.
This report explains your results and provides an interpretation
on how your results can help you.

As you read this report, keep in mind that all Wanted – The extent to which you want or will expect
instruments have limitations. The Interpersonal others to exhibit that behaviour
Orientation instrument is not a comprehensive The second part of the report highlights the
personality test; it focuses on how you are oriented to interpersonal relationship derailers.
interpersonal relations. Results are in no way to be used The third part of the report is the measurement on
a testament to whether any behaviour or any person another set of three areas –
is good or bad.
Self-Worth – One’s estimate of own worth relative to
This assessment is a measure of inter-intra-personal
others guides the behaviour toward others in terms of
needs, flex characteristics and derailment, not a test
engaging with people and groups in certain ways.
of abilities, career interests, or success. Finally, you
Self-belief – One’s belief in one’s capabilities leads to
should refrain from making any major decisions based
ways of decision making, influence, and persuasion with
on the results of only one instrument.
regard to other people; it determines the extent of
This tool measures your interpersonal needs in first set
power or dominance that a person exercises.
of three areas –
Inclusion – The need for Inclusion relates to forming Self-Acceptance – One’s acceptance of different facets
new relationships and associating with others; it of own personality guides one to emotional ties and
determines the extent of contact and prominence warm connections with others; it determines the
that a person seeks. extent of closeness that a person seeks.
The fourth part of the report highlights the interpersonal
Control – The need for Control relates to decision
relationship blocks.
making, influence, and persuasion between people; it
The fifth part of the report shows how your results can
determines the extent of power or dominance that a
help you explore the roots of your orientation.
person seeks.
The sixth part of the report shows how your results
Affection – The need for Affection relates to emotional
from the FLEX component can help you understand your
ties and warm connections between people; it
flexing capacity and self-awareness.
determines the extent of closeness that a person seeks.
The seventh part of the report covers the challenges
Further the tool measures the preferences on two of being interpersonal savvy and self-development
distinct aspects: section to overcome the challenges.
Expressed – The extent to which you will exhibit the The last part of the report helps you chart a
behaviour. comprehensive developmental plan based on your
strengths and development areas.
 INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP ORIENTATION
PROFILE AND SCORE INTERPRETATION

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 Rakhee Singh

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
ORIENTATION PROFILE

INCLUSION CONTROL AFFECTION

TOTAL EXPRESSED
TE > TW
EXPRESSED

Your Total Wanted needs are

lesser than your Total Expressed
7 5 1 13 needs. This suggests that you do
not prefer to wait and see what
others will do before taking action.
In some situations you may inhibit

> others from doing or expressing

what they want. You like taking
initiative more than others to do
so. These results suggest that you
always initiate action and work
WANTED

proactively with others.

3 7 0 10
TOTAL WANTED

TOTAL TOTAL TOTAL TOTAL

INCLUSION CONTROL AFFECTION NEEDS

10 12 1 23

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ORIENTATION PROFILE Page 4
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OVERALL INTERPERSONAL NEED

SCORES
o You are selective and choosy
o You are hesitant and cautious when it comes to sharing authority Total Need Score Range:
o You have more impersonal demands 16-26
o You hold few close and personal relationships
MEDIUM LOW

Interpretation

On a selective basis, interaction with others in all areas of Inclusion, Control,

and Affection may appeal to you. You are probably picky about who you
associate with. You may tend to be choosy about how, when, and where you
work with people. You may also tend to be cautious and hesitant about using`
or sharing authority. While you may probably value some relationships, there
are likely to be times when you prefer to focus on the more impersonal
demands of the task rather than personal ones.

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ORIENTATION PROFILE Page 5
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EXPRESSED AND WANTED SCORES

EXPRESSED SCORES
Your result for Total Expressed Behaviour indicates how often you take Expressed Score
Range:
initiative in approaching others to fulfil the three basic interpersonal needs.
It shows your comfort in being proactive in general. 8-19
MEDIUM

Interpretation

Your result on Total Expressed is in the medium range, which suggests that
sometimes you initiate activities with others and sometimes you don't. The
range to which you initiate activities or work proactively varies depending on
the persons you work with and your work context.

WANTED SCORES
Wanted Score
Your result for Total Wanted Behaviour indicates how much you rely on Range:
others to get what you need. It shows your comfort in being reactive or 8-19
responsive in general.
MEDIUM

Interpretation

Your result on Total Wanted is in the medium range, indicating that

sometimes you want others to initiate activities with you and sometimes you
don't. The range to which you feel comfortable being reactive to and reliant
on others varies. Your level of comfort depends on exactly the context in
which you work and who you work with. While you are choosy about who you
reach out to, you are flexible on this behaviour. However, in crucial times, you
may become hesitant, cautious, undecisive and restraint.

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INCLUSION
The need for Inclusion has to do with establishing new relationships
and associating with others; it determines the extent of contact and Score Range:
prominence that an individual seeks. High Expressed
(7-9)
Medium Wanted
Interpretation
(3-6)

You want to spend a lot of time with others. You use social skills energetically,
networking rigorously to gain recognition. But you actually want to spend less
time with others than it appears. You possibly enjoy hosting events, initiating
group activities and inviting people to do things yet you are likely to need periods
of solitude as well. You use enthusiastic interaction with others to gain the desired
contact’s attention and recognition. Your outgoing manner may mislead others
making them assume that you will be supportive of them for long. You are likely
to enjoy a large circle of associates and a moderate number of people to spend
more time at work.

You at Workplace

You prefer to work in an environment where you have the opportunity to make
contacts, involve people and use people skills effectively. You need time to work
independently. For you, team meetings and working on projects are natural
activities as long as you can do follow-up work on an individual basis.
Opportunities to receive attention and recognition stimulate your enthusiasm and
job satisfaction.

Your Strengths Areas Your Possible Development Areas

o You realize that life seems cluttered with too o You may fail to effectively separate work and
many people because your behaviour conveys personal life clearly
more sociability than desired o You may find it difficult to cope with situations
o You are excellent at developing initiatives by when too many people are making unrealistic
yourself demands
o You consider carefully before inviting others to o You may feel trapped in situations where you
join or before accepting invitations are unable to make use of your social skills
o You clearly communicate your need for privacy o People may misinterpret your sociability as an
in a way that respects others’ need to belong invitation for a more personal relationship
o You seek leadership positions to better leverage
your social skills and gain recognition than to
further your need for power and influence

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ORIENTATION PROFILE Page 7
 Rakhee Singh

INCLUSION
Score Range:
Strategies for Development High Expressed
(7-9)
Medium Wanted
1. Separate your work and private life (3-6)
2. Don’t feel trapped when you are unable to make use of your social skills
3. Understand that other people may prefer not to be a part of group life

My Self-Reflection Corner

OVER-SOCIAL
UNDER-SOCIAL SOCIAL (extroverted, outgoing; fear no
(introverted, withdrawn; not (Successful resolution of one interested in him, but
take risk of being ignored) inclusion) makes them pay attention
anyway)

Low E and W, High E and W,

Moderate E and W
Low E and High W High E and Low W

What are the advantages of behaviours driven by Inclusion orientation?

In what situations might be the behaviours driven by Inclusion orientation be less helpful?

What alternatives might there be?

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ORIENTATION PROFILE Page 8
 Rakhee Singh

CONTROL
The need for Control relates to decision making, influence, and
persuasion between people; it determines the extent of leadership a Score Range:
person shows and authority or dominance that they seek. Medium Expressed
(3-6)
Interpretation High Wanted
(7-9)
You are happy to lead but not all the time. You are good at decision making but
you still follow rules set down by others and do not mind getting experts’ opinions.
You like responsibility but also enjoy freedom from it depending on your free time
and flexibility. You like to maintain a balance between taking control and letting
someone else control situations.

You at Workplace

You prefer to work in an environment where you can plan, but where expectations
are clear and adaptable. You enjoy a reasonable amount of responsibility and
some leisure time. When under pressure, your insistence on having your own free
time can be seen as self-indulgent. You function better if structure and directions
are clearly laid out.

Your Strengths Areas Your Possible Development Areas

o You have scheduled intervals of recreation to o You are cautious of people who may take
relieve tension from responsibilities advantage of you
o You convey your need to control to those who o You might pass up opportunities to develop
matter leadership
o You share your personal responsibilities in the o You might give an impression that you are not
form of delegating or taking turns to be in serious about the tasks you have undertaken
charge o You might let the opportunity to take
o You work on a schedule that is flexible or responsibility pass on to others just because you
predictable enough to plan other activities cannot communicate your own desire to take
without surprises them on
o You handle current responsibilities until you can
do them quickly and routinely, thus creating
more personal free time
o You responsibly create clarity for yourself and
others by adapting your working style in
accordance to your ambitions

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ORIENTATION PROFILE Page 9
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CONTROL
Score Range:
Strategies for Development Medium Expressed
(3-6)
High Wanted
1. Set and prioritise your ambitions and gain clarity as to where you wish you (7-9)
go ahead in your life
2. Take on the opportunities to develop your Leadership skills
3. Take charge while making decisions in groups

My Self-Reflection Corner

ABDICRAT DEMOCRAT AUTOCRAT

(submission and abdication (successful resolution of (Domination, power seeking)
of power) power and control,
comfortable in giving and
taking orders)

Low E and W, High E and W,

Moderate E and W
Low E and High W High E and Low W

What are the advantages of behaviours driven by Control orientation?

In what situations might be the behaviours driven by Control orientation be less helpful?

What alternatives might there be?

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AFFECTION
The need for Affection relates to emotional ties and warm
connections between people; it is about an individual’s need to Score Range:
establish one to one relationships. It determines the level of intimacy Low Expressed
and closeness that a person seeks. (0-2)
Low Wanted
Interpretation
(0-2)

You are very selective and do not demonstrate your feelings openly. You take time
to build trust. You are not very close to many people and don’t expect closeness
from them too. You enjoy your privacy. You do not seek or provide reassurances
to others. You may often not react or have an opinion on any issues that do not
directly impact you. You tend to get extremely uncomfortable with personal
questions, displays of familiarity and emotional behaviours. Others might find you
reserved, reflective, distant or intimidating.

You at Workplace

You tend to usually be task oriented and business like. You don’t build rapport with
others easily. You are comfortable with a calm, efficient and impersonal
environment. You are unlikely to prefer working in a setting where there is a high
chance of personal interruptions that become hinderances in getting your work
done. You do not like interruptions. You expect others to respect your privacy the
same way as you do. You are usually uncomfortable with expressing your feelings
at work.

Your Strengths Areas Your Possible Development Areas

o You operate in a formal environment where o You may experience loneliness because of your
some informality is considered appropriate lack of affection towards others
o You take risks and are more open in o You are so task oriented that you forget to
relationships that are important to you consider the human element
o You demonstrate that you are listening o You realise that people think you are cold and
attentively to others even without responding in unapproachable
an emotional way o You find it difficult to recognise others’ need for
o You use smiles or other signs of friendliness close relationships with you
when you want to look more approachable o Past negative experiences could be keeping you
o You appreciate others’ praises, from building closer ties with others
encouragements, and help because you realise
it is most likely sincere

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ORIENTATION PROFILE Page 11
Rakhee Singh

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 STRATEGIES FOR
DEVELOPMENT

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
ORIENTATION PROFILE
 Rakhee Singh
STRATEGIES FOR DEVELOPMENT

INCLUSION
High Expressed: Low Expressed:

1. Give others enough space to

contribute freely 1. Give others an equal chance to
2. Ensure that you get enough input participate in any group activities
from others 2. Ensure that everyone has had a
3. Make sure that you know enough chance to provide inputs on any
to proceed with any work decision that affects them
4. Understand that some of your 3. Clearly show interest in your
colleagues may be sensitive to colleagues’ ideas and actions
public recognitions. Ensure that you
appreciate them for their
achievements, but privately.

High Wanted: Low Wanted:

1. Do not expect others to ask for your

opinion when you have not asked 1. Find ways to enlarge your network
for theirs 2. Make sure that you find ways to let
2. Clearly point out your interest in others know that you welcome
any project that you want to do; their input
don’t hold back 3. Frequently meet with your team
3. Be mindful that some peoples need and engage actively
for attention may be as strong as
your own

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 Rakhee Singh

CONTROL
High Expressed: Low Expressed:

1. Ensure that you do not promote

your own ideas at the expense of 1. Help team members prioritise their
others tasks
2. Make sure that you do not stress 2. Be mindful of the quality of your
yourself because you are hesitant work to be reliable and consistent
to seek help 3. Take initiative, take responsibility
3. Allow others to develop pride and
ownership in their work

High Wanted: Low Wanted:

1. When making decisions with

1. Take the risk of actions even in the
regards to a project, involve all
face of unclarity
those who are necessary to make it
2. Take initiative, take charge take
succeed
responsibility, be proactive (Fail
2. Do not allow you need for
safe)
independence com in the way of
3. Reduce dependence on others
effective work
3. Listen to others for creative
solutions and delegate well

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 Rakhee Singh

AFFECTION
High Expressed: Low Expressed:

1. Be aware that your desire to help

and harmonize can be seen as 1. Encourage colleagues in a
intrusion supportive way
2. Consider that your colleagues may 2. Appreciate frequently, especially
prefer to not know much about those who have helped you
your personal concerns 3. Provide clear and thought through
3. Do not defer to others at the cost of feedback to others
expressing your own opinion

High Wanted: Low Wanted:

1. Reduce dependence on others for

1. Allow others to establish a personal
support, rather trust yourself
relationship with you
2. Be more proactively trusting in
2. Be supportive, do not maintain
building the relationship with your
subordinates emotional distance
3. Reduce sensitivity to other people’s 3. Encourage others to share their
feedback ideas and reactions openly

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ORIENTATION PROFILE Page 16
 TEAM ROLE PREFERENCES

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
ORIENTATION PROFILE
 Rakhee Singh

Team Role Preferences

An individual plays many different roles in a group depending on their own, as well as others, interpersonal
needs. Your IIROP scores will define your role in a group. The closer your scores are to the mentioned score,
higher the chance that you will take up the said roles. A middle range indicates that you may take on these roles
only under certain circumstances.

Clarifier: If you have High Expressed Inclusion, then your role in a team is of a Clarifier. You would
present issues for clarification, put everything together after a discussion and get in new
perspectives into the conversation. You will always be the one to introduce new team members
and give every possible data or information to the team to ensure that they are always up to
date on things. You need to be careful to avoid forcibly holding on to a team where there is no
real coordination, and must let go of your fear of the team breaking apart.

Tension Reducer: If you have High Wanted Inclusion, then your role in a team is of a Tension Reducer. You help
keep the team together by using humour at appropriate moments and redirecting the group
in times when conflict arises. You work hard to build on common interests of everyone in your
team.

Individualist: If you have Low Wanted Inclusion, then your role in a team is of an Individualist. You may not
necessarily be an active team player. You may tend to see meetings as unnecessary and enjoy
side conversations during that time. You would rather work on other pending work in the time
meant for group meetings or discussions thus causing you to fall back on following through
with decisions taken by other group members. You may come out to others as an
uncooperative member of the group.

Director: If you have High Expressed Control, then your role in a team is of a Director. You are the one
always pushing the team for action and decision making. You always have an eye on available
resources and know your limitations well. You help keep the team on task and lead them
towards closure. You may at times unknowingly interrupt others in meetings or introduce
needless pressure to act on a team. You may tend to be over optimistic about what you can
accomplish without having much solid ground for that belief, and may tend to push self and
others way beyond actual skill.

Questioner: If you have High Wanted Control, then your role in a team is of a Questioner. You usually seek
orientation and clarification about the things that may be unclear to you. Your constructive
criticism of the team is mostly very rewarding for motivating the team members to work better.
There are times when you may tend to use too many questions, that may further lead to
postpone closure to certain things you do not agree with.

Rebel: If you have Low Wanted Control, then your role in a team is of a Rebel. You may tend to be
that person in a group that continuously criticizes others for their faults. You are not
afraid to challenge the status quo. You may at times find it difficult to establish a position
within the group. Many a times you may unnecessarily refuse to comply with group decisions.
You are capable of providing good alternatives but may end up haveing difficulty with bringing
those ideas to closure.

Encourager: If you have High Expressed Affection, then your role in a team is of an Encourager. You have a
very friendly approach and may tend to help everyone in the group feel supported. You
encourage open and frank discussions within the team and offer helpful feedback. You strive
to build your team and its members ego in order to push through difficult times. You may at
times get trapped trying to resolve internal team conflicts and lose valuable time in becoming
overcommitted. You may at times also sacrifice the truth to maintain good relationships.

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Listener: If you have High Wanted Affection, then your role in a team is of a Listener. You prefer to
maintain a participative attitude. You show your interest in things nonverbally. You may
actively be involved in helping the group achieve its goals, but wouldn’t prefer to asserting
much or conveying your ideas to others. Your communication would be limited to receptive
facial expressions and body language.

Cautioner: If you have Low Wanted Affection, then your role in a team is of a Cautioner. You prefer to
openly expresses all your concerns about the direction of the group. You do not usually hold
back from relaying your doubts about the success of any planned initiatives in your
organisation. You are capable of providing careful analysis of potential problems. You may be
the one playing the devil's advocate in your group. You may tend to show reluctance only when
it comes to getting swept up in group energy.

Initiator: If you have High Expressed Affection and High Expressed inclusion, then your role in a team is
of an Initiator. You are capable of suggesting procedures or problems as discussion topics
within your group. You tend to propose alternative solutions to the problems that comes up in
the groups working. You are termed as 'the idea person' amongst your team members. You
also actively encourage others to share more in discussions.

Energiser: If you have High Expressed inclusion and High Expressed Control, then your role in a team is
of an Energiser. You encourage your team to make decisions. You insist on covering the set
agenda and prompts the team to take action as per the decisions taken.

Opinion Giver: If you have Low Wanted inclusion and Low Wanted Control, then your role in a team is of an
Opinion Giver. You are not scared to state your belief or opinion on all problems and issues in
your organisation. You freely offer predictions based on past experiences. You prefer to work
independently from the group and have no desire to be one in the leader’s inner circle.

Harmonizer: If you have High Expressed Affection and High Wanted Control, then your role in a team is of
a Harmonizer. You are someone who would rarely disagree with the group. You try your level
best to always understand and empathise with others. You always encourage harmony
between opposing positions. You usually comply and accept others suggestions without much
thought or hesitation.

Consensus Tester: If you have High Expressed Affection and High Expressed Control, then your role in a team is
of a Consensus Tester. You usually tend to check for others agreement. You prefer to always
bring closure to any discussions. You have a strong desire to build a close-knit, powerful team
and thus would confront unacknowledged feelings in the group.

Task Master: If you have High Expressed Control and Low Wanted Affection, then your role in a team is of
a Task Master. You try to keep the group focused on its central purpose in order to get to the
required outcomes. You tend to ignore unnecessary social chitchat. You have a constant belief
that team members don't have to always like each other to do any job. You keep reminding the
group that you are in a business and not a family.

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ORIENTATION PROFILE Page 19
 CONTRIBUTION and CHALLENGES
in Decision Making

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
ORIENTATION PROFILE
 Rakhee Singh

Contribution and Challenges in Team

Decision Making

If your highest expressed score is:

Inclusion:

If your highest expressed score is Inclusion then your role in group decision making is
that you provide information and insight. You guarantee everyone gets to offer
opinions and you summarize discussion and agreements.

Control:

If your highest expressed score is Control then your role in the group decision
making is that you push for closure, you consider about alternatives and assess them
and you structure debate, ensure consistency across decisions.

Affection:

If your highest expressed score is Affection then your role in group decision making is
that you push for depth, openness and frankness. You test support team members for
decision making and you promote a safe climate for differences.

If your highest wanted score is:

Inclusion:

If your highest expressed score is Inclusion then your role in group decision making is
that you look for common ground. You can live with a group decision different from
your own and you bring in outside perspective in the group decision making.

Control:

If your highest expressed score is Control then your role in the group decision making
is that you consider implementation and compliance issues. You honour past team
decisions and you tease out issues for clarity.

Affection:

If your highest expressed score is Affection then your role in group decision making is
that you put great effort into understanding individual perspective and needs. You
reconcile differences between group members before they harm team bonds and you
try to understand the personal interest behind an opinion or a position.

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ORIENTATION PROFILE Page 21
 RESPONDING
to Conflict

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ORIENTATION PROFILE Page 22
 Rakhee Singh

Responding to Group Conflict

Inclusion: If your highest total needs score is Inclusion then strengths that you bring during a conflict are you
have a strong desire to hear out all the issues and to share any information that might bear upon the conflict.
You are also willing to clarify and validate others point of view.

Some difficulties you might face during a conflict are fear that bringing out differences will reduce a sense of
identification with the team as a whole and a desire to give more importance to ‘what is common between us’
and ‘what divides us’.

Control: If your highest total needs score is Control then strengths that you bring during a conflict are your
willingness to sort and shift through all the issues and your ability to hang tough in the conflict despite unpleasant
feelings and personal discomfort.

Some difficulties you might face during a conflict are tendency to try to win the disagreement or force an
agreement being abrupt or aggressive and tendency to dismiss opinions when they don’t come from the
expected person.

Affection: If your highest total needs score is Affection then strengths that you bring during a conflict are your
sensitivity toward differences and willingness to share thoughts and disclose personal feelings.

Some difficulties you might face during a conflict are tendency to be too compromising and harmonizing, more
likely to take the conflict personally and you fear that an intense conflict will dilute bonding and intimacy in the
team.

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 INTERPERSONAL
RELATIONSHIP DERAILERS

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
ORIENTATION PROFILE
 Rakhee Singh

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
DERAILERS
Derailers show up in different ways, some subtle or unconscious; the inability to
collaborate, being too dependent or too independent, the inability to build
rapport, being too self-serving, or even undermining other people at work. In
short, being trapped by some of your default behaviours.

It is necessary to take a close look at the relationships one has with one’s
colleagues, team members, seniors, up-line leaders, and external or internal
stakeholders. It is essential to get real and get clear, and look for any derailment
signs.

LONER REBEL PESSIMIST MISSION LIME-LIGHT SEEKER

Low E and W - Low E and W - Low E and W - IMPOSSIBLE High E and W
Inclusion Control Affection High E and Low W - Inclusion
Control
Most comfortable Not only avoid Very cautious about Is eager to make Not just outgoing, but
when they can taking decisions, but becoming emotionally decisions and take on also compelled to
distance themselves, also is more at ease involved. Close obligations, while interact with others.
or be very selective when not influenced relations will be few most people fear it. High need to fit in and
with whom they by others. Has a and far between. If Low Wanted Control be the centre of focus.
associate. potential to be a and when they relate shows that they don’t This may distract
good leader but will to others, they will be want to be told. Don’t substantially from
only move at own hesitant, cautious. listen. Don’t other important
pace. Strongly May come across as lateralise. Don’t areas.
independent. Seen relating superficially. delegate. Don’t
sometimes as a leverage the group as
Rebel. a resource.

DEPENDENT- OPTIMIST REPRESSED CHECKER MATCHER

INDEPENDENT High E and W EXTROVERT Low E and Moderate Moderate E and W
CONFLICT Affection Low E and High W W - Control Inclusion
High E and W Inclusion
Control
High energy and Initiates warm or Seeks exclusive Seeks orientation and Unsure of self and
actions, but in intimate network and groups clarification all the about level of
critical situations relationships, but only. Ignoring all time and uses aspirations.
indecisive. somewhat other relationships questions to postpone Underestimates self.
Delegates indiscriminate in which does not closure or decisions. Approval seeking and
selectively, but may sharing. Mixes comply with his/her Cautious and non- always ‘being
tend to supervise personal and needs. Only appears assertive even in appropriate’. Hesitant
too closely. professional. to be social. critical matters. to assert own
individuality.

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 Rakhee Singh

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
DERAILERS
Do any of the below derailers apply to you? What changes can you make?
LONER REBEL PESSIMIST MISSION LIME-LIGHT
Low E and W - Low E and W - Low E and W - IMPOSSIBLE SEEKER
Inclusion Control Affection High E and Low W High E and W -
- Control Inclusion

DEPENDENT- OPTIMIST REPRESSED CHECKER MATCHER

INDEPENDENT High E and W - EXTROVERT Low E and Moderate E and W
CONFLICT Affection Low E and High W - Moderate W - - Inclusion
High E and W - Inclusion Control
Control

A Self-Development Plan for behavioural change:

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ORIENTATION PROFILE Page 26
 FLEX

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
ORIENTATION PROFILE
 Rakhee Singh

FLEX
To be effective in today’s workforce one must be able to adapt and flex to meet
the ever-changing needs and demands of the modern organization. Adapting to
change and being resilient to setbacks are the operating principles that are
needed for success.

This section of the report shows how your results from the FLEX component can
help you understand your flexing capacity and self-awareness.

This is based on the model:

FLEXIBILITY
Thought SELF AWARENESS Outcome
Action Level
Mindset Competence Situation

This model postulates that a competent person deals with the dynamics of the
environment by deploying his competence in a variety of ways to suit the forces
at hand. This aspect of deploying competence in a variety of ways is termed here
as Flexibility. However there are limits to the effectiveness of flexibility that one
can possibly achieve in a dynamic environment. A high-performing manager can
no longer perform well as a business leader with the same mindset of a manager.
He needs to change his mindset from being a manager to being a leader, in the
process developing some dimensions of competence to a greater extent. The
process that leads to such a change starts with self-appraisal and continues with
self-direction. This whole gamut is termed here as Self Awareness. This model is
based on Argyris’ concept of Double Loop Learning.

Score Range

Total scores of 5 and above fall in High

HIGH range
Total scores of 4 and below fall in Low
LOW range

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FLEX AND SELF AWARENESS SCORE

FLEX SELF AWARENESS

8 2
High Low

Your score interpretation:

High Flex – Low Self Awareness
Experience has taught you to adopt a variety of responses to the situations that
you face in the ordinary course of life. This you consider as the necessity of
being practical in the face of challenges of life. However it does not call for any
basic change in your perspective, viewpoint or assessment of you as a person. It
simply is a technique of adjustment.

Strategies for Action:

High Flex – Low Self Awareness

This combination indicates that you have developed a certain skill of adapting to
the situations, such that your objectives are met in the short run. Usually such
smart skills aim at creating an immediate impact. There are two consequences
of a short term orientation. One is an inability to think long term and the other is
to accord disproportionate importance to the environment and underestimate the
influence that strategies can exert on the world.
A strategic orientation rests on self belief which draws upon one’s strengths and a
certain self efficacy. Learn to trust your abilities, not blindly but in a conscious
way and treat failure as a part of the learning process. Think long term and
develop your expertise in tasks and in relationships.

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 BEING INTERPERSONAL
SAVVY

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BEING INTERPERSONAL SAVVY

The IIROP instrument is basically looking at interpersonal relation orientation of an
individual’s either in their work capacity or in the home place. In the interpersonal
space there are at least 10 different kinds of challenges an individual experience.
Addressing these 10 will go a long way in helping you become interpersonal savy.

First of all, interpersonal largely has to do with building relationships that are
mutually satisfying, and are anchored in trust and compassion. Mutual satisfaction
implies continuously being mindful of what the other persons need, aspirations and
challenges are. To carter for the other person’s need proactively, sensitively,
inclusively, collaboratively is very central to being interpersonal savy. The importance
the focus and the attention we give to others is very central to interpersonal
relationships. This means, in our engagements with others, we have to deprioritize
ourselves so that we can better understand others. Having understood the other and
where the other is coming from one can reprioritize one’s own communication.

Therefore, Interpersonal relations has to do with starting from your own inside to get
the other person inside, when the other person is saying something; in saying what
other person is saying is what he or she is really saying having a handle on that is very
central to building interpersonal relations.

Ten Challenges Faced On The Road To Being Interpersonal Savvy

Challenge #1 Practice:
Not tuned in to people’s styles? Practice being interpersonally flexible.

We are not tuned into people’s style, as to ‘What their style is?’ ‘What do they do first?’ ‘What do
they emphasize in their speech?’ etc. People focus on different things – taking action, details,
concepts, feelings, other people. You need to take note of what is others interaction style. People
come in different styles – pushy, tough, soft, matter-of-fact and so on. To figure these out, listen for
the values behind their words and note what they have passion and emotion around.
Very often you yourself must not be interpersonal savvy because you are too transaction oriented.
You may tend to come to point very directly, and also may tend move out very once your need point
or concern is being addressed, not being mindful of what the other in the relation or situation might
need or feel. That means you don’t have appreciation or understanding of the residue you leave
behind with the other in the engagement.

One key to getting anything of value done in the work-world is the ability to see differences in people
and use those differences for everyone’s benefit. Interpersonal savvy is meeting each person where
he/she is to get done what you need to get done. Basically, people respond favourably to ease of
transaction.

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BEING INTERPERSONAL SAVVY

Ten Challenges Faced On The Road To Being Interpersonal Savvy

Challenge #2 Practice:
Does your style chill the transaction? Practice tailoring your approach to fit others’
needs.

The second challenge may be that you are too arrogant, insensitive or distant? You may seem to be too
busy to pay attention to issues, and at the same time may be too quick to get into the agenda. You may
also devalue others and dismiss their contributions, resulting in people feeling diminished, rejected and
angry. You may offer answers, solutions, conclusions, statements, or dictates early in the transaction,
which is a common trait in a non savvy style.

An interpersonally savvy individual would read their audience well. Understand what people look like
when they are not very comfortable with you. Do they back up? Stumble over words? Cringe? Stand at
the door hoping not to get invited in? Make sure that you choose your interpersonal approach looking at
the behaviours and responses from the other person.
The other person, not you, will still decide the right approach for you. Consider each transaction as if the
other person were a possible customer and consider well your approach to your craft.

Challenge #3 Practice:
Quick to judge? Practice being a better listener.

The third and one of the most common challenge is that you are very quick to judge. You judge very
harshly, very quickly, and you judge very completely, and now having judged, you tend to stand up and
use all your intellectual powers to defend the point you have already made or the defend the judgement
you have already made about the person.

Interpersonally skilled people are very good at listening. They listen to understand and take in
information to select their response. They listen without interrupting.
They ask clarifying questions. They don’t instantly judge. Judgment might come later. They restate what
the other person has said to signal understanding. They nod. They might jot down notes. Listeners get
more data.
Listen more empathically.

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BEING INTERPERSONAL SAVVY

Ten Challenges Faced On The Road To Being Interpersonal Savvy

Challenge #4 Practice:
In a hurry to get down to business? Practice managing the first three minutes.

The fourth challenge is that when you are transaction oriented you are getting down to business very quickly.
You are not building the rapport and trust, and very simply, your trust and rapport are not in place first and
business, the transaction and competence demonstration will not find the as much traction.
Managing the first three minutes is essential. The tone is set. First impressions are formed.
Don’t be in hurry to sort the business out unless the relationship is in place, if the relationship is in place and
there is trust and mutuality is already in place, getting down to business is not a problem at all. But to think
that interpersonal relation and building rapport is coming in the way of getting the work done, getting in the
way of achieving the target then you are grossly mistaken. The idea is to build trust and rapport first.

Work on being open and approachable, and take in information during the beginning of a transaction. This
means making others comfortable enough so that they feel fine about opening up. It means encouraging
building up a rapport, listening, sharing, understanding and comforting.
Approachable people get more information, know things earlier, and can get others to do more things. The
more you can get them to initiate and say early in the transaction, the more you’ll know about where they
are coming from, and the better you can tailor your approach.

Challenge #5 Practice:
Are you overly private? Practice sharing more.

The fifth challenge is being very aloof, very reserve and private. You value your need for solitude and privacy
so highly that you don’t take the ‘Pain’. ‘Pain’ is the word to reach out to people to demonstrate warmth and
inclusion. If that being the challenge, will definitely hold you back.
Interpersonally skilled people share more information and get more in return. Confide your thinking on a
business issue and invite the response of others. Pass on tid-bits of information you think will help people do
their jobs better or broaden their perspectives.

One of the things that make people say that, “This is the way I am and I am a private person”, “I am
comfortable as I am and this is my authentic self”.
This may not necessarily be your authentic self and if it actually is, this comfort may be causing discomfort
to others. You may need to become mindful of what is causing discomfort in others, as those who finds you
uncomfortable and unpleasant might marginalize you or keep the engagement to the minimum required.
Disclose more things about yourself. Reveal things people do not need to know to do their jobs, but which
will be interesting to them, and help them feel valued. Personalize.
Work to know and remember important things about the people you work - around, for, and with. Know
three things about everybody – their interests or their children or something you can chat about other than
the business agenda.
These need not be social; they could also be issues of strategy, global events, market shifts. The point is to
establish common ground and connections.

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 BEING INTERPERSONAL SAVVY
Ten Challenges Faced On The Road To Being Interpersonal Savvy

Challenge #6 Practice:
Are you demonstrating genuine interest? Practice managing your non-verbals.

The sixth challenge is that you are sometimes not very genuinely interested in other person and may pretend
friendliness. But there is no true friendship. You may pretend empathy but there is no genuine empathy.
This empathy is there so that you can get your work done, if that be the case, the other person may sense
your lack of genuineness. You must become more mindful when you come across as not so genuine to
others.
Interpersonally savvy people understand the critical role of non-verbal communications, of appearing and
sounding open and relaxed, smiling and calm. They keep consistent eye contact. They nod while the other
person is talking. They speak in a paced and pleasant tone. Your expression of relatedness is your strategy
to get things done, this is a significant drawback and you must become mindful if that is so in your case
largely by taking feedbacks from others.
Work to eliminate habits that may be seen as disruptive by others, such as speaking too fast or forcefully,
using strongly worded language, or going into an unnecessary amount of detail.
Watch out for signalling disinterest with actions like glancing at your watch, fiddling with paperwork or giving
your impatient “I’m busy” look.

Challenge #7 Practice:
Selective interpersonal skills? Practice accommodating differences.

The seventh challenge, that people who are interpersonally sensitive or skilled faced, is that they are very
selective of the people they engage with. They do not value differences. They are attracted to people who
are like them and who like them this is not the way to engage with others. Some people are interpersonally
comfortable and effective with some and not others. Some might be interpersonally smooth with direct
reports and tense around senior management.
You must broad base the people you build relationship with. you must value the differences that exist, you
must navigate any value incongruence that is there. For example, if a person is motivated by hedonistic
pursuits and you are motivated by altruistic pursuits, you must navigate the contempt you have for each
other and build meaningful relationships and with larger number of people across the board and this is
serious demonstration of interpersonal savviness. The principles of interpersonal savvy are the same
regardless of the audience if you can build rapport, trust and relation with people from all walks of life.
Do what you do with the group you are comfortable with the ones you are uncomfortable. The results will
generally be the same.

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BEING INTERPERSONAL SAVVY

Ten Challenges Faced On The Road To Being Interpersonal Savvy

Challenge #8 Practice:
Shy? Lack self-confidence? Practice making the first move.

The eighth challenge is, if you are shy withdrawn or awkward, or lack social confidence to engage with
others. Generally, you may hold back and let others take the lead, and feel like you are too vulnerable.
You may be afraid of how people will react most of the times. Very often your shyness or unwillingness
to engage with others socially may be interpreted as arrogance or elitism or selectivity, whereas that
may not be true at all. Therefore, if you lack confidence, go ahead meet people, face your devil, fears
and what emerges as the consequences of that is the realization that your fear was misplaced and
therefore your confidence grows. Give your hand first, have consistent eye contact and ask the first
question.
For low-risk practice, talk to strangers off-work. Set a goal of meeting new people at every social
gathering; find out what you have in common with them.
Initiate contact at your place of worship, at PTA meetings, in the neighbourhood, at the supermarket,
on the plane and on the bus. See if any of the bad and scary things you think might happen to you if you
initiate people contact actually happen.
The only way people will know you are shy and nervous is if you tell them through your actions. Watch
what non-shy people do that you don’t do. Practice those behaviours.

Challenge #9 Practice:
Problems with troublesome people? Practice being savvy with people you don’t
like.

The ninth challenge is having problem with problematic people. The world is made up of all kinds of
people, some people are problematic and you must be mindful that they are problematic with you.
There may large number of people with whom they get perfectly well with. If there are other people
who are problematic, an ability to realize what comprises their pain point, their concerns and challenges.
Try and address those concerns and challenges. See whether you can coach groom those people and see
if you can have deeper understanding and if none of this works and they continue to be troublesome
and challenging. What does one see in them who do like them, or can at the bare minimum get along
with them? What are their strengths? Do you have any common interests with them?
The way to engage with them is to marginalize them. Long before you do that there is way to engage
with them is empathically to understand their point of view and realize troublesome people are
troublesome because of your own reasons not theirs. Do not give an indication to them about what you
think. Hold your judgments, just nod or ask questions for clarifications, and finally summarize as normal.
You may if you wish talk less or ask more questions. Neither apologize nor criticize. Even if they’re
disagreeing to things, you can respond by simply restating the problem you’re working on.

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BEING INTERPERSONAL SAVVY

Ten Challenges Faced On The Road To Being Interpersonal Savvy

Practice:
Challenge #10
Practice turning around tense
Are you a target?
transactions.

Lastly do you feel victimized in situations? Do you have feeling people are here to take advantage of
me? If you feel people are here to take advantage of you, rest assured that nobody is so interested
in taking advantage of you all the time. Maybe in the opportunities of being taken advantage of there
are collaborative opportunities as well as opportunities of building relationships. Of course, you need
to demonstrate discretion so that you don’t get taken advantage of, but giving the benefit of doubt,
trusting others and becoming trust worthy is a significant to become interpersonal savvy.
If these being the challenges and you are being victim to any one of them there are host of activities
and actions, you can take to build this particular competence and building interpersonal relation
skills is so central to the success today that is very anchored and significant part of building emotional
intelligence.
Practice interpersonal Aikido, the ancient art of absorbing the energy of your opponent and using it
to manage him/her. Enable the other side to vent their frustrations and blow off steam without
retaliating. Remember that it is the one who retaliates, is the one who usually gets in the most
trouble. Listen carefully, nod and ask clarifying questions. Ask open-ended questions like, “Why is
this bothering you so much?” “How can I help?” “So, you think I should….” Restate his/her stance
continuously to show that you understand. However, do not retaliate or pass judgement.
Keep him/her talking until he/she runs out of venom. When they take a rigid position, don’t resist it.
Get into the core of that decision, understand the theory of the case and what led to this?
Keep people and problem separate. Reframe an assault on you as an attempt to solve a problem.
Maintain your composure, even though he or she seems to have lost it. Say nothing in response to
unreasonable proposals, attacks, or a non-answer to a question. People will normally retaliate by
saying more, going off their positions slightly, or at the very least disclosing their real interests. The
direct disagreement also shrinks as a result of unlimited venting and your understanding.

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 BEING INTERPERSONAL SAVVY – Actionables
Challenge #1 Challenge #2 Challenge #3 Challenge #4 Challenge #5

I face this challenge: (Y) (N) I face this challenge: (Y) (N) I face this challenge: (Y) (N) I face this challenge: (Y) (N) I face this challenge: (Y) (N)
Actionable Activities I will do Actionable Activities I will do Actionable Activities I will do Actionable Activities I will do Actionable Activities I will do
to overcome this challenge: to overcome this challenge: to overcome this challenge: to overcome this challenge: to overcome this challenge:

1. 1. 1. 1. 1.

2. 2. 2. 2. 2.

3. 3. 3. 3. 3.

Challenge #6 Challenge #7 Challenge #8 Challenge #9 Challenge #10

I face this challenge: (Y) (N) I face this challenge: (Y) (N) I face this challenge: (Y) (N) I face this challenge: (Y) (N) I face this challenge: (Y) (N)
Actionable Activities I will do Actionable Activities I will do Actionable Activities I will do Actionable Activities I will do Actionable Activities I will do
to overcome this challenge: to overcome this challenge: to overcome this challenge: to overcome this challenge: to overcome this challenge:

1. 1. 1. 1. 1.

2. 2. 2. 2. 2.

3. 3. 3. 3. 3.

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 SELF REFLECTION
WORKBOOK

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 Rakhee Singh

EXPLORING THE ROOTS OF YOUR ORIGIN:

1. Self Worth
Our experiences in growing up years shape our orientation to a large extent. Self worth slowly takes
shape when we receive nurturance and valuing by elders. This is further boosted when we are
invited to be part of social groupings. This process can be broadly referred to as INCLUSION.

Write about your experience of nurturance and valuing that you received.
Reflect upon the social groupings that you were invited to be part of.

Similarly, we may have had experiences of elders withholding nurturance for a number of reasons
and circumstantial factors. These are setbacks that left a deep imprint on our minds.

Write about any setbacks that you experienced in growing up years, in

which you did not receive the nurturance that you wanted and the
depreciation that you were subjected to. How did it all affect you?

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2. Self Belief
Self belief is shaped by early experiences of success in learning and mastering knowledge and skills,
both academic and otherwise. Dealing with failures is an important component of this process of
learning and mastery. Collaboration and competition are also significant processes that contribute
in both success and failure.

Write about your experiences in growing up years in which you succeeded in achieving
important goals and accomplishing important tasks. What was the role of collaboration
with others in such successes? How did you fare in the competitive environment?

Mention some of the failures that you encountered in the growing up years and how you
dealt with them. What were the important lessons that you carried from those times?
What views do you hold about collaboration and competition in the real world?

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 Rakhee Singh

3. Self Acceptance
Accepting one’s persona is to accept one’s tendencies – good, bad and ugly – as an integral part of the
personality. With this acceptance comes the possibility of accepting others as they are. There is a
possibility of free and open dialogue with others, wherein deeper feelings and thoughts can be shared
leading to togetherness and bonding, friendship and warmth, affection and caring. This phenomenon
is shaped by the extent to which one has received a non-evaluative and non-judgmental family
upbringing and school education. With an evaluative and judgmental environment, the fear of
rejection inhibits sharing and strengthens self doubt, guilt and shame.

Look at the experiences of rejection in early years and see how those shaped your
perception of yourself in terms of body, personality and status. Is it possible for you to
see how doubt, guilt and shame play their part in determining what and how you feel
about yourself?

Write a Synthesis of all the reflections that you have written so far. What do you see of yourself?
What do you feel about yourself? What opportunities do you see for yourself to express yourself
more freely in and with the world?

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 Plan for development
List here specific changes you would like to bring about in your interpersonal relations with the
following:

Category Change that I would like to make in the next 6 months

Family Elders

Family Peers

Family Young
Ones

Close Relatives

Friends

Colleagues Senior

Colleagues Peer

Colleagues Junior

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ORIENTATION PROFILE
 In accordance to your scores write in your developmental plans in the following template –

What are your strengths?

How can your leverage your strengths?

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 In accordance to your scores write in your developmental plans in the following template –

What are your Areas of Development? Mention some of the adverse implications if these are unattended to?

What actions can you take to develop your Areas of Development?

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 In accordance to your scores write in your developmental plans in the following template –
What could be your Core Incompetence?
(Core Incompetence is defined as a weakness that adversely impacts your strengths)

How would you overcome your Core Incompetence?

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 Which optimal behaviours will you demonstrate in which situations? Give one example.
Situation Default Behaviour Optimal Behaviour

Decision Making

Managing Conflict

Collaboration

Client Engagement

Giving Feedback

Any Other

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 Which optimal behaviours will you demonstrate with which people? Give one example.
Situation Default Behaviour Optimal Behaviour

Senior

Peer

Subordinate

Client

Family Member

Stakeholder 1

Stakeholder 2

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IROP

IROP