FRIENDSHIP RECESSION

Difficult to avoid, Important to address

FRIENDSHIP is the foundation of social friends have brought in his life. "Friendship has
relationships, an integral part of human life. It been a source of stability and growth in my life.
plays a vital role in personal development, My closest friends have been my support system
emotional well-being, and overall happiness. during challenging times, helping me through
However, in recent years, we have been heartbreak, career uncertainties and personal
witnessing a concerning phenomenon known as struggles. They have always been there to lend a
"friendship recession". The term refers to the listening ear and offer guidance, and I am forever
decrease in the quality and quantity of friends. It grateful for their unwavering support and love."
could have potential consequences on mental
health, social connectedness, and societal A survey conducted by the Indian Council for
harmony Friendship is an important and under- Research on International Economic Relations
appreciated relationship that impacts our health (ICRIER) found that there is a growing concern
and well-being. Studies suggest that lacking close about social isolation and loneliness in India,
friends can be as detrimental to our health as commonly referred to as the "friendship
smoking cigarettes. However, measuring recession". The survey aimed to understand the
friendships and determining their quality and causes and consequences of this issue and
quantity is challenging. Many people are reluctant suggested various solutions to address it. Findings
to admit their loneliness due to the stigma attached highlighted the increasing reliance on digital
to it. communication platforms, work patterns,
urbanisation, and the decline of extended family
Dr Aruna Broota, renowned psychologist, says, "It systems as factors contributing to the decline in
is important to have a good circle of friends as we meaningful friendships. The consequences of
cannot always rely on our family members for friendship recession include mental health issues
everything. Often, we find solace in a close friend such as depression and anxiety. The ICRIER
who offers unwavering support and helps us proposed promoting social interaction in schools,
overcome difficulties. However, if we are unable colleges, and workplaces, encouraging community
to maintain numerous friendships, it may lead to a activities, nurturing hobbies and interests, and
sense of isolation.” fostering inclusive urban planning to combat these
negative effects.
Anurag, a media person, is fascinated with the
concept of friendship and shares the change
Causes of Friendship Recession pandemic, Yashraj, a student, recalls.”It's like
everyone is so caught up in their own lives that
Experts point out several factors that contribute to they forget to make time for each other. It's made
friendship recession, including societal changes, me more appreciative of the few friends I have left
lifestyle shifts, and the increasing influence of and has motivated me to put in more effort to
technology. According to a report by UK-based maintain those connections.
news website The Guardian, in 2014 people spent
six and a half hours a week with close friends, but For others it is a lesson for a lifetime. Nipun
by 2021 this figure has come down to just two confesses. "Friendship recession has taught me not
hours and 45 minutes. Having friends is crucial to take relationships for granted. It's made me
for our overall well-being. more grateful for the connections I have and has
reminded me to prioritise nurturing those
Piya, a housewife, is grateful for having friends in relationships. I have become more proactive in
her life. "Friendship has always been an essential reaching out, checking in, and making sure my
part of my life. Growing up, I had a close-knit friends know they're valued and loved."
group of friends who supported and encouraged
me. We shared everything, from laughter and joy Pause and Play in Friendship
to tears and hardships. Their unconditional love
and understanding helped me navigate through Like any other relationship, friendships also go
difficult times, and I am grateful for their presence through ups and downs. At times, conflicts,
in my life." misunderstandings, or simply the demands of life
can create distance between friends. That is where
A major factor contributing to the friendship the pause-and-play rule of friendship comes into
recession is the rise of social media and play. This is a concept that emphasises the
technology. While these platforms have made it importance of taking breaks, stepping back, and
easier to connect with others, they can also create giving each other space when needed. It allows
a false sense of connection. People may have friends to navigate through challenging situations
hundreds of online friends, but these relationships while preserving their bond and ensuring its long-
often lack depth and intimacy. Additionally, term sustainability.
excessive screen time can replace face-to-face
interactions, leading to a decrease in meaningful When conflicts arise or when both parties feel
friendships. overwhelmed, it is crucial to recognise the need
for a pause. This pause does not mean the end of
Work-life balance is another contributing factor. the friendship but rather a temporary break to
With longer working hours and increased job reflect, re-evaluate, and regain perspective. This
demands, people have less time for socialising and rule enables friends to take a step back and assess
cultivating friendships. Many individuals the situation objectively without immediate
prioritise their careers, often at the expense of emotional reactions.
their social lives. This can result in feelings of
isolation and a lack of support networks. During the pause period, it is important to focus
on self- reflection. This entails contemplating
The recent COVID-19 pandemic further one's feelings, thoughts, and actions, and
exacerbated the friendship recession. Social understanding how they may have contributed to
distancing measures and lockdowns limited social the conflict. This self-analysis allows individuals
interactions and made it challenging to meet new to gain insight into themselves and what they can
people or maintain existing friendships. During do to enhance the friendship.
our conversation with a group of people, they
remember the lockdown days and the suffering of Neeta shared her experience, "One of the most
losing friends. "I have definitely noticed a valuable lessons I have learned about friendship is
friendship recession lately, especially after the the power of forgiveness. At one point, I had a
falling out with a close friend over a distant relatives. Friendships often develop faster
misunderstanding. We went months without when there are shared interests, such as enjoying
speaking and it took a toll on both of us. However, activities, playing, painting, or cooking. When you
we eventually were able to communicate and open up and share your thoughts and ideas, good
address the issue. Forgiving each other allowed suggestions emerge, leading to the growth of
our friendship to grow stronger; reminding me friendship over time."
that bonds can stay strong both parties are willing
to work on it."

After the pause, when both friends have gained To have a strong and fulfilling friendship, one
clarity and a better understanding of the situation, must follow certain principles:
it is time to play again. The play here refers to 1. Be supportive: Friends should be there for
resuming the friendship with a fresh perspective each other in times of need, offering
and a renewed commitment to its success. This emotional support and encouragement.
part of the rule involves initiating open and honest 2. Communicate regularly: Check in with
conversations where both parties can express their your friend, ask about their day, and share
feelings and concerns, while also actively your thoughts and feelings.
listening to one another. 3. Show empathy and understanding:
In India, the concept of friendship within Validate their emotions and be there to
relationships holds great importance due to the listen without judgment.
value placed on relationships. One reason 4. Be trustworthy: Keep your promises,
friendship is highly valued in Indian relationships respect their privacy, and be honest and
is because it cultivates trust, open communication, loyal.
and mutual understanding. Another important 5. Respect boundaries: Be mindful of your
aspect of friendship within relationships in India is friend's personal space, privacy, and limits.
the sense of companionship it brings having a 6. Be non-judgmental: Avoid being critical
friend within a relationship creates a strong or judgmental and accept them for who
feeling of togetherness. This friendship helps they are and embrace their differences.
create a harmonious partnership where both 7. Support personal growth: Celebrate their
individuals feel supported, loved, and cherished. achievements and be there to help them
overcome obstacles.
Psychologist Dr Aruna Broota opines, "It is not a 8. Have fun and create memories: Enjoy
good thing to have fewer friends. We cannot share each other's company and make an effort
everything with our family members. Many times to spend quality time together.
a friend from outside is close to our heart because 9. Practice forgiveness: Learn to forgive and
s/he supports us no matter what. S/He encourages let go of grudges to maintain healthy and
us to feel good again. But if you are not able to long-lasting friendship.
handle many friends then there is recession." She 10. Be honest and open: Share your thoughts
adds, "There are various types of friendships to be and feelings openly with your friend and
found, but the key is to find someone who you encourage them to do the same.
have faith in, is of similar age, and will keep your
secrets. This is crucial, sometimes; the children of The importance of nurturing and maintaining
the family next door can be helpful, as well as strong and meaningful friendships can serve to
enrich our lives.