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Writing Task 1

Writing Task 1 - practice

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0% found this document useful (0 votes)
99 views4 pages

Writing Task 1

Writing Task 1 - practice

Uploaded by

trannchinhh26
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd

I.

Line graph

The graph below shows the production levels of the main kinds of fuel in the UK between
1981 and 2000.

Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make
comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

You should write at least 150 words.


The line graph illustrates the number of three main fuels (petroleum, coal, and natural
gas) in the United Kingdom over a course of 19 years, starting in 1981. Units are measured in
energy units, which means one energy unit is energy from one million metric tons of oil.

Looking at the graph, it can be seen that the production level of coal decreased, while
for petroleum and natural gas, it rose. At the start of the period, petroleum was the most
popular fuel. Coal was in the middle of the period, but by the end, natural gas was more
popular than coal and stood second.

With regards to the number of petroleum units produced, it began at 90 in 1981 and
then slightly increased to around 100 in 1991 before rising dramatically to about 140 in 2000.
Likewise, 80 energy units of coal were produced in the first year after which fluctuated slightly
and dropped to a low of 38 energy units in 2000.

On the other hand, the production of natural gas only started in 1981 at about 40 energy
units. This figure, which reached a high of just over 100 energy units in 2000.
Task Achievement

- You have described the main trends and provided some specific figures from the graph.

- However, there are some inaccuracies and a lack of clarity in certain parts. For example, "Coal was in the middle
of the period" is vague and unclear.

- You haven't fully covered the trends and comparisons throughout the 19-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion

- The essay is mostly well-organized, with a logical progression from the introduction to the details.

- Some sentences could be better connected for improved flow. For example, "On the other hand, the production
of natural gas only started in 1981 at about 40 energy units" could be better linked to the previous sentences with
clearer transitions.

Lexical Resource

- You have used a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic.

- There are some awkward phrases, such as "petroleum was the most popular fuel" (a better term might be "most
produced fuel").

- Some repetition is present, like repeatedly using "energy units" which could be varied with synonyms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

- Grammar and sentence structures are mostly correct but there are some errors. For instance:

- "which means one energy unit is energy from one million metric tons of oil" is a bit awkward; consider
rephrasing to "with one energy unit equivalent to the energy from one million metric tons of oil."

- "Looking at the graph, it can be seen that the production level of coal decreased, while for petroleum and
natural gas, it rose" should be rephrased for clarity: "The graph shows that while the production of coal decreased,
the production of petroleum and natural gas increased."

Suggested Improvements

1. Introduction:

- Your introduction could be clearer. For example: "The line graph illustrates the production levels of three main
fuels—petroleum, coal, and natural gas—in the United Kingdom from 1981 to 2000, measured in energy units (one
energy unit equals the energy from one million metric tons of oil)."

2. Main Body:

- Be more precise with your descriptions and ensure clarity. For instance: "In 1981, the production of petroleum
was the highest at 90 energy units, slightly increasing to 100 in 1991, and then dramatically rising to 140 by 2000."

- Provide a clearer comparison: "Coal production started at 80 energy units in 1981, fluctuated slightly over the
next decade, and then declined sharply to 38 units by 2000."

3. Conclusion:

- Summarize the main trends: "Overall, the production of petroleum and natural gas increased significantly over
the period, while coal production saw a marked decline."
Revised Essay

The line graph illustrates the production levels of three main fuels—petroleum, coal, and natural gas—in the United
Kingdom from 1981 to 2000, measured in energy units (one energy unit equals the energy from one million metric
tons of oil).

It can be observed that the production of coal decreased, while the production of petroleum and natural gas
increased over the 19-year period. At the start of the period, petroleum was the most produced fuel. By the end of
the period, natural gas production surpassed coal, making it the second most produced fuel.

In 1981, petroleum production was the highest at 90 energy units. It slightly increased to around 100 units in 1991
and then rose dramatically to approximately 140 units by 2000. Coal production began at 80 energy units in 1981,
fluctuated slightly, and then dropped significantly to 38 units in 2000.

The production of natural gas started at about 40 energy units in 1981 and consistently increased, reaching just
over 100 energy units by 2000.

Overall, the production of petroleum and natural gas showed significant increases, whereas coal production
experienced a notable decline over the period.

Estimated IELTS Band Score

Based on the above criteria, your essay might score around Band 6.5 to 7.0. With the suggested improvements, you
could aim for a higher score by ensuring clarity, precision, and better coherence in your writing.

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