AS Level EFL

Form, Structure and Language

DEFINITIONS

Language simply refers to what words the author chooses to use to tell you their ideas. This can include word choice
and different figures of speech and language devices.

Form refers to the genre of the text, and how the genre influences the way the text looks on the page. So, if you know
what to look for, you can notice many elements of form as soon as you lay your eyes on the page.

Structure refers to how the author organises the information they wish to convey and how that information fits
together to make the text a unified whole.

LANGUAGE

Let’s start with language

First, you’re looking for any interesting lexis. Lexis is just a fancy word for vocabulary. So, you’re trying to find any
interesting vocabulary the author has chosen to use and trying to figure out why he used those particular words. This
is especially important for words with very pronounced positive or negative connotations, or words scattered
throughout the text that belong to the same semantic field.

Under language, you’re also looking for different figures of speech. There are many of them and you’re most
probably familiar at least with the most important ones like metaphor, simile and personification. As we’ve mentioned
many times, it’s important not just to identify the figure of speech or give a very generic effect, but you need to explain
in detail why the author used that particular figure.

If you’re reading a persuasive text, like a speech, a review or an article, you will also be looking for persuasive
techniques. These are language techniques for making an argument and convincing the reader to support your point
of view.

Finally, language also included grammar, syntax and punctuation. Although they’re often overlooked, these
elements play an important role in every text, influencing emotions and creating a specific rhythm or pace of the text.
Longer or shorter sentences, use of varied punctuation and use of particular tenses can all have an effect on how the
reader “feels” the text.

FORM

When it comes to form, I’m going to discuss three different aspects of form:

1. How the text reflects the characteristics of the genre

2. What the text looks like on the page
3. How the text appeals to its intended audience and how the purpose affects the content and style of the text

The first two are traditional notions of form in writing, and the third aspect is how form is defined by examiners in
examiner reports for As Level 9093, so we want to make sure we cover all of these.

1. How the text reflects the characteristics of the genre

As you already know, every genre has its own rules or conventions and knowing these rules is an absolute must for
this exam. You need to demonstrate to the examiner that you know those rules, and one of the ways you can do that
is by commenting on how form is related to the genre.

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All genres have a specific kind of form they follow, but in some cases the connection between form and genre is more
obvious.

Take poetry for example. Don’t’ worry, you don’t have to study poetry for this exam, but it is a very good way to
illustrate the connection between form and genre. There are very clear differences between a long epic poem and a
haiku, for example.
A sonnet is one form that has to follow very strict form rules. A reader who knows his poetry will immediately, just by
looking at the page, recognize this poem as a Shakespearean sonnet, which will in turn create a set of expectations in
his head about what the poem is about and how the author conveys his ideas.

Advertisements and leaflets also have a very strong visual component. The form has a strong influence on how the
reader perceives the information.

While you will not have to read any poetry or have any visual leaflets in the exam, there are some genres that you will
read, where the form is extremely important. Look at this letter for example. If you take away the visual elements like
the address at the top, the subject, the salutation, the ending, the text is no longer a letter. These elements, which are
very visual, show the reader that the genre is a letter, so the reader has certain expectations and can follow the text
better.

 How the text appears on the page

Here are some elements you might look for:

We have anaphora, the repetition of words or phrases at the beginning of neighbouring clauses. If you’ve ever read
the famous ‘I have a dream’ speech by Martin Luther King, Jr., you will have noticed the use of anaphora in repeating
the phrase “I have a dream” at the beginning of consecutive sentences. Repetition usually serves the purpose of
emphasizing a point, but of course, you need to always be careful to analyse what point is being emphasized.

You can also have single line sentences, which stand out from the rest of the text. They often mark an important
turning point in the text. Whenever you see one, stop and think about why the author chose to put it there. It can often
tell you a lot about how the text progresses.

Short sentences within a paragraph are often used for emotional impact and they too stand out from longer sections
of the text. So do very short paragraphs. The emotional impact of a short sentence like “Silence!” is much stronger
than if an author was to elaborate on how horrible the silence was in a very long descriptive sentence.

Ellipsis, where a certain part of the text was omitted, can also be immediately noticed. It should make you wonder
and analyse why the section of the text was omitted. What was the author’s purpose in removing that part of the text?

Dialogue is another element that stands out on the page. You can analyse why the author chose to include dialogue,
and what purpose it plays in the text as a whole.

The use of subheadings which divide the text clearly into subsections or the use of bullet points for lists is another
visual element that is often used in articles or leaflets. You can link the subheadings with the content of the
paragraphs or comment on the use of bullet points.

Any of these elements falls under form and if you notice any of them, first you should carefully consider why the author
chose to use them, and then you need to analyse and comment on their use.

 How the text appeals to its intended audience and how the purpose affects the content and style of
the text

Audience, of course, are people who are reading the text. Purpose is the goal with which the writer writes the text.
Audience and purpose are what we call whole-text aspects, and they’re always mutually influenced by particular
devices the author uses. So, essentially, here you’re being asked to demonstrate how these whole-text aspects
influence the writer’s individual word choices and how those words choices demonstrate the authors awareness of
audience and purpose.

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Let’s take these two examples. Imagine one author is writing an article about a video game in a gaming magazine.
Another writer is writing an article about the same game for Wikipedia.

These texts have very different audiences (the first one being gamers, the second one just about anyone on the
internet).

They also have different purposes. The Wikipedia article aims to provide general information about the game, while
the gaming magazine article needs to provide much more detailed information in order to maintain the interest of the
readers.

So, what can the author do to make sure his text suits his audience and fulfils its purpose?

One of the main ways to appeal to an audience and to fulfil your purpose is through tone and register. Tone is the
writer’s attitude towards the subject and register is the level of formality the author uses, so whether he is being very
formal, using sophisticated language or informal, using chatty and colloquial style.

Although students sometimes find them confusing, understanding tone and register is important. In the example we
gave here, the writer who writes for the gaming magazine will most likely use a semi-formal style, to make his piece
entertaining for his readers and to make them feel closer to him. The gaming community itself is rather relaxed, so
there is no need for a high level of formality. On the other hand, an article on Wikipedia needs to meet the standards
of an encyclopaedia and needs to be written in a more formal register.

At the same time, the readers of the gaming magazine probably have a lot of knowledge about the subject matter. The
author will not shy away from using specific jargon – specialist language, for describing the game. On the other hand,
the Wikipedia article will use more standardised lexis, sticking to well-known expressions. If specialized terms are
used, they will likely be explained and defined.

Also, when explaining certain concepts and issues, the authors will be likely to use examples that are close to their
audience. Take this video for example. Because I am talking to high school students, I chose to use the gaming
example in this case, because this might appeal to you as young people. I would have made a big mistake if I chose a
topic most teenagers are not interested in. All writers pay attentions to details like that, and your task, in analysing
form is to notice those elements.

STRUCTURE

Structure, again, goes back to how particular parts are connected to the whole.

It refers to the way in which the write organises the information in the text and in which order he chooses to reveal it. It
also refers to how part of the text fit together to make a whole.

Structure is content-driven and we can look at how information is organised both on the level of the entire text, but
also within each paragraph.

So, what are we looking at when commenting on structure?

Firstly, we’re looking at the beginning and ending, I’m sure your teachers have told you many times that these are
perhaps the most important parts of a text. We’ll also look at development, contrast, shifts and pace.

The beginning of any text is very important because the writer has only a few seconds to interest the reader to read
the text. Authors use different techniques to hook the reader in, and depending on the text, you may wish to analyse
how the author achieves that purpose.

The ending on the other hand leaves the biggest emotional impact on the reader. Depending on the topic, the ending
may be conclusive or non-conclusive. Non-conclusive ending in fiction works can be cliffhangers and in non-fiction
works the author might want to leave a question open to debate, without offering a final word on it. A common strategy
writers use to make their work very well-organised is using a cyclical structure. This is when the story ends in the
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same place it began, or, in non-fiction, where the author uses the same idea at the end of the text that he used at the
beginning. This can make the text feel very well-rounded, no pun intended. So you might want to look at the beginning
and ending and see if there are elements of cyclical structure.

In between the beginning and the end, most texts progress in a linear manner, meaning there is some
natural development or progression of ideas. So you want to look at how the author develops his ideas and what
topic he deals with. Another thing you may wish to look at is whether there is a change in the intensity of tone and
mood in the text, for example where the tone moves from being slightly melancholic at the beginning towards openly
depressing towards the end of the text.

Sometimes the authors organise different elements of the text in such a way that they don’t gradually build upon one
another, but instead clash. This is the use of contrast, when two neighbouring paragraphs in a text discuss
completely opposite topics or deal with a topic in a completely opposite manner. If you find juxtaposition between
different elements of the text, that is contrast and it might be worth commenting on.

Another thing you may want to look at is shifts. Any major shift in focus or topic and theme of the text should be
commented on.

When I say focus, I mean what the author is focusing on in each paragraph. So, you might notice how there is a shift
from focus on the exterior to the interior of the building. Or the author might shift focus from describing the
environment to describing a particular characters or his own mental state and thoughts. The environment and
thoughts might often be intertwined and reflect one another, so you might comment on that too.

The author might also shift focus from a general discussion of an idea to a specific example. Or from a generic
phenomenon to an individual’s experience of that phenomenon. These are all worth analysing and commenting on.

You can also comment on the change of subject or the theme, which refers to more subtle, underlying meaning of the
text.

To indicate such shifts, authors sometimes use one-sentence paragraphs. Look for them to give you a clue.

Finally, another element of structure is pace. Pace simply refers to how fast the text progresses. Think of it in this way
– an action film usually evolves much more quickly than a slow romantic film. How do authors slow or speed up the
pace of a text?

Faster paced texts usually have shorter paragraphs, and shorter sentences with more action, dialogue and exciting
events. On the other hand, slow-paced texts feature longer sentences and paragraph with more narration and
description that dialogue. Authors add details and may use flashbacks or foreshadowing to slow down the main action.

One thing I have to point out, though, is that all the information I gave here is by no means some kind of a checklist
you need to go through for every text. Instead, this is just a framework to help you think about the different elements
that usually appear in texts. Every text is different and there is no one unique approach that fits every text. But
practising analysis using these elements will hopefully help you out no matter what kind of text you face in the exam.

Paper 1 Question 1 (a)

[Link]

The first thing you need to know is that this question has two sections. Section 1a covers directed writing, and section
1b is comparative analysis. First, let’s take a look at a sample question.

Question 1

Read the following text, which is an article entitled “Laughing through lockdown: Why comedy is important in the
times of crisis” written by a researcher for an online academic publication called The Conversation.

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(a) Your teacher has asked you to make a speech for other students in your school about the history and benefits of
humour in times of crisis. Using the material from the article, write the first part of your speech.
Use 150–200 words. [10]

(b) Compare your speech with the original article, analysing form, structure and language. [15]

So, what do the examiners expect from you in this task?

In the directed writing part, which carries 10 points out of the total 25, you are assessed on your reading and writing
skills. You will demonstrate your reading skills through understanding the main content points of the original text and
using that content in your own text. Reading skills bring a maximum of 5 points. Writing, which refers to expressing
your ideas effectively and accurately, also brings a maximum of five points.

The second part of the question, where you need to compare your own text with the original, assesses reading and
analysis skills. The difference between these is that your reading score assesses how well you understand the content
of the text /what the author wrote), whereas analysis score assesses your ability to analyse and compare the form,
structure and language of the two texts and how the author wrote them.

Let’s take a deeper look at section 1a.

1a, directed writing task, often confuses students as they’re unsure what exactly is expected of them. Simply put,
directed writing is your own writing based on a given text.

Usually, there are two options. You will either be asked to copy the style and language of the original text OR to use
the material (the content) of the given text to produce your own text in a different genre.

It seems that in this new syllabus, Cambridge is going for the second option. In the papers that have been published
so far, students have always been asked to use the content of the original text and produce their own in a different
genre.

Let’s analyse the sample task.

As in all other sample tasks, the task itself offers us valuable information we need to get high marks. In this case, that
information is particularly important, because that is what sets your text apart from the original text, and your ability to
respond properly to these prompts determines not only how well you will do this task, but how well you will do the
comparative analysis in section 1b as well.

The important information we get here is text type, audience, purpose, topic and word limit. In your writing, you need
to demonstrate constant awareness of these elements. That means, you need to show the examiner that you have:

 understood the content of the original text and carefully chosen the most important points to include in your
own writing. You will not have time to include everything in your short text, so you need to be selective and
chose to include the most important content points, while also making sure you don’t omit anything that is
relevant. It’s a rather tricky balance.

 The next important point you’ll need to constantly bear in mind is what text type you’re asked to write. As you
know, every text type or genre has its own rules and conventions and to demonstrate your knowledge of

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 different text types, you need to follow those rules. You might be asked to write in a number of very different
genres, so make sure you are familiar with them before the exam.

 Another element that will greatly influence how you write is your awareness of audience (who you’re writing
for) and purpose (why your writing). The examiners want to see that you can adapt your tone and register to
suit the particular audience for which you’re writing. Purpose also shapes meaning, and you need to show that
you can gear your text in the direction in which you’re asked.

As we’ve discussed, and this goes for both writing and analysis, that means you need to constantly bear in mind how
whole-text elements like text type, audience and purpose AND particular language devices such as word choice,
figurative language and sentence structure mutually influence each other.

So how do you practically make that happen in the exam? What are the steps you need to take to successfully
complete the directed writing task?

First, you need to read the given text and highlight key content points you will use in your text. It’s a good idea to use
this time and do a second reading to annotate and analyse the text as well, because you will need that information in
section b and it’s a good idea not to shift your focus too many times.

Next, you need to write a short plan for your text. Focus on audience, purpose and text type, and think of what
individual language devices you would use to support your points. How will you make sure you fit the conventions of
the genre? What language techniques will you use to achieve your purpose while simultaneously establishing a
connection with your audience and maintaining their interest in what you have to say. Fitting all this into just 150 to
200 words is not easy, but a good plan will be super helpful.

Finally, write! Remember to use your best English – examiners expect advanced vocabulary, complex grammar and
varied punctuation. A small word count required for this question means you need to make every word count, so do
your best to show off your writing skills from the very beginning. Try to fit an advanced word, grammar structure,
language device or punctuation into every single sentence, but make sure you don’t sound unnatural or unnecessarily
formal. Again, tricky balance, I know, but practice makes perfect!

However, getting high grades is not only about making sure your writing is accurate and beautiful. Even more
importantly, you need to make sure to avoid common mistakes students make in this task. Let’s look at a few most
common ones:

 “lifting“ from the original text. Well, remember, you need to use the content of the original text to write your
own. However, students sometimes take this too literally and literally just copy the words from the given text
into their own. Doing that shows the examiner you didn’t understand the task properly and you lack
appropriate paraphrasing skills. Instead of copying the authors words, you want to use his ideas, and express
those ideas in your own, carefully crafted, beautiful, advanced words.

 copying the author’s style if you’re asked to write in a different genre. This should be self-explanatory. Every
genre has its own rules, and yes, some of them do share some similarities, but you really need to develop
your own voice and style. The language you use and the level of formality will depend directly on the text
type and audience, and the very purpose of this task is for you to demonstrate that you can say the same
thing in a different way, so make sure to use the author’s content, but reword it in a way that suits your
audience and text type.

 writing without a plan. A good plan guarantees a good structure and helps solve all kinds of problems in your
writing. So yes, I will say it again, a plan is not a waste of time. Don’t spend 15 minutes writing this plan,
that’s too much, but do jot down a few ideas in 3-5 minutes – it will help you in the long run.

 going over the word limit. And yes, examiners do count words. Writing more than 200 words leads to two
possible problems: 1. Adhering to the word count is assessed as part of making your response relevant to the
task, which is an important point in the mark scheme, so you can lose valuable points by going over the limit.
2. Going over the word limit means you will spend more time than necessary on this task, which means you
will lose valuable time for doing other tasks, which again will cause you to lose points. Good news is that all
this is perfectly preventable. You will probably not have the time to count your own words in the exam, which
is why you need to do lots of practice papers, which will give you an approximate idea of what 150-200 words
look like in your handwriting.

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  Finally, even if you don’t go over the word limit, a common mistake is to just spend too much time planning
for and writing the answer to this question. That is really not a good idea, because this question is worth only
10 points, in comparison to 15 points for comparative analysis and 25 points for question 2. Candidates often
do this question first, and then lack time for questions 1b and 2, and lose lots of points by not doing proper
time management. The easy solution is, again, to do lots of practice papers and make sure you allot time in
accordance with the number of points each question carries.

In summary, to achieve higher grades in this section, you will need to:

 be able to identify key content points in the given text

 know and follow genre conventions
 adapt form, structure and language to suit the genre, purpose and audience of the text
 write accurately and effectively, using high-level grammar, vocabulary and punctuation
 and manage your time well so you don’t lose points in other sections.

[Link]

INTRODUCTION

Let’s look at the introduction first. The student writes:

In this emotional and fierce speech, Frederick Douglass addresses his audience which consists of mostly
privileged white men and attempts to persuade them that slavery is a cruel, inhumane practice that must be
abolished. He does this using a very strong, emotional, direct, and, in many instances, ironic tone, that
reflects his frustration and the frustration of his people with the current situation. He tries to achieve his
purpose by using a wide variety of language devices, including: positive and negative word choice, contrast,
direct address, use of inclusive and exclusive personal pronouns, personal anecdote and metaphor.

We see that the student is immediately engaging with the text, identifying its major aspects (tone, purpose and
audience) in the very first sentence. The student wastes no time repeating obvious information that is already
mentioned in the text and gets right to the point.

As we read the first sentence, we can see that the tone, purpose and audience are identified in detail and precisely.
First, the tone is identified as emotional and fierce. This idea is later developed in more detail in the second sentence,
where the student says that the tone is “strong, emotional and direct”. These expressions are somewhat vague, but
“ironic” is definitely more precise, and the student also identifies the feeling of frustration (which is very specific), and
he does well as he mentions that this is “his frustration and the frustration of his people”, meaning Douglass in this
speech acts as a representative of his people, not just as an individual.

Going back to the first sentence, we can see that the way the student identifies audience is also very precise. He does
not say the audience are white people, but “privileged white men”, meaning the student understands the audience are
people in power.

Finally, the purpose is also identified in detail. The student does not merely say that the purpose of the text is to
persuade. That would leave us with the question of “persuade who, of what?:. The student answers these questions
that naturally appear in our minds by saying, “to persuade the reader that slavery is an inhumane, cruel practice that
must be abolished”. In doing this, the student correctly identifies that the speech looks not only to the past,
condemning slavery as inhumane, but also looks to the future and calls the audience to action, to abolish slavery. If
this was further elaborated on in the response, it would have an even better impact of not just identifying the audience,
purpose and tone, but analysing them from the very outset.

Nevertheless, the introduction provides an excellent framework for what is to come. This is specifically important in the
last sentence of the introduction, where the student is paving way for his further analysis in the rest of the essay. He
says: He tries to achieve his purpose by using a wide variety of language devices, including: positive and negative

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word choice, contrast, direct address, use of inclusive and exclusive personal pronouns, personal anecdote and
metaphor.

This final sentence of the introduction, often called a thesis statement, provides a clear roadmap for analysis in the
rest of the commentary. The student here established firm foundations for the structure of his essay. He enumerates
the language devices he will comment upon in the rest of the essay in the order in which he will analyse them. This
makes the structure very well organised and easy to follow.

Structurally, the essay is very well constructed. As we shall see later on, it is cohesive and divided into coherent
paragraphs, and every paragraph deals with either a single idea, or two or more connected ideas. Organisation
definitely gets high marks here.

One thing that I will point out as a drawback, though, and we will be going back to this as we read on is that almost all
the devices mentioned in this last sentence of the introduction, which will later be analysed, are language devices,
which poses a big question of what the student has done to analyse form and structure in the text. Form and structure
are important elements of the task and must not be ignored. As we shall see, there are occasional comments made on
the structure, but it would definitely be better if the student made form and structure analysis more obvious and
explicit.

POSITIVE WORD CHOICE

Moving onto the first paragraph of the main part, the student begins his analysis by tackling the first language device
he mentioned in his thesis statement – positive word choice. Let’s read.

One of the most prominent characteristics of the speech is the use of positive nouns and adjectives to denote
the privilege and power that the whites enjoy and the African-Americans are denied. We find examples
throughout the first part of this speech, where he speaks of “blessings”, “rich inheritance of justice, liberty,
prosperity an independence”, “sunlight”, “light and “healing”. The purpose of using these words is to show
that these great values are reserved only for the whites, and that there is “immeasurable distance” between
the whites and the blacks.

Another excellent structural device is the fact that the student begins his paragraph with an introductory sentence
that gives us a very clear idea of what the paragraph will be about. This is called a topic sentence, and every
paragraph should have one. It’s usually located at the beginning of a paragraph, but that doesn’t have to be the case
always.

Looking at the content of the commentary, the first sentence provides a very precise “point” of analysis (positive
adjectives and nouns) and the effect of their use (to denote the privilege and power…). Btw, see how the student
cleverly uses alliteration (privilege and power) and contrast (the whites enjoy… the African-Americans are denied)
here? That’s proof of his command of language and leaves a good impact. It’s by no means obligatory, but if you do
choose to use language device, remember that your style should be formal and objective, so don’t veer into using
metaphors and personification. You need to stick to literal meanings and leave figurative language for the writing
section.

Back to the point here. The first sentence identified the point and the effect and the second sentence offers several
aptly selected examples. The quotes are appropriately short, and even the longer one is very focused and precise.
One thing that can be commented on as a kind of a negative is that quotes are simply listed at the end of the
sentence, without fitting into the analysis itself. Compare that to how well the “immeasurable distance” is embedded
into the text of the commentary in the next sentence. Embedding quotes into your own analysis is an important skill.
Remember, fitting your quotes naturally into the commentary is better that merely listing them.

Finally, the last sentence of the paragraph expands further on the effects of the use of positive nouns and adjectives.
The paragraph follows a very clear “P-E-E” [Point, Evidence, Explanation] structure. While you should always
include effects of the devices used, always following the structure in the same order can be a bit repetitive and you
should aim to provide further commentary and deeper analysis, too.

NEGATIVE WORD CHOICE & CONTRAST

Make sure your ideas flow naturally in your commentary is very important and how the student connects this
paragraph to the next one is an excellent example of that. Let’s read:
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In stark contrast with these positive words stand all the negative attributes that are linked with the situation of
African-Americans, such as: “gross injustice and cruelty”, “victim” “stripes and death”. These negative
attributes are often placed very close to the positive words used to describe the position of the whites, which
immediately creates images of contrast in the reader’s mind: “your celebration is a sham” “your shouts of
liberty and equality – hollow mockery”, “your sermons…impiety and hypocrisy”.

Look at the first part of the first sentence. “in stark contrast with these positive words” – here, the student very clearly
links what he already said to what he is about to say. This is an excellent linking device, and you should absolutely
use it. He then moves on to make his next point. Again, we have the P-E-E approach and once again, although the
quotations are very precise and well-chosen, the student makes the mistake of not embedding them properly.

Another interesting thing about this paragraph is that he connects two language devices “negative attributes and
contrast” in the same paragraph. This is excellent, because they both indicate the same effect. There is also a hint of
reference to structure here, where the student says “placed next to those positive words”, but again you need to make
structure and form references more explicit and clearer, to show the examiner you’re giving equal focus to form,
structure and language. A better way to address this is to say, e.g., “Placing negative attributes very close to positive
words has a very important structural purpose in the text. It immediately evokes images of contrast in the readers
mind.” This way, it is clear that the student understands this is a structural device.

DIRECT ADDRESS

Throughout the text, Douglass directly addresses his audience, often posing very difficult and provoking
questions. These questions are especially prevalent in the first part, whereas the second part of the text
answers some of them. Perhaps the most important of these questions is “What, to the American slave, is the
4th of July?” that very strongly questions the purpose of him, as a former slave, being invited to speak at
such an event and is an introduction into his very direct and harsh analysis of the hypocrisy of the privileged
whites. This effect is also achieved through the use of sarcasm in the first paragraph where he asks if he was
called to “express devout gratitude” for the independence his people clearly are not a part of.

Again, the student connects two similar language devices – direct address and rhetorical questions. Now, there is a
more explicit and very insightful reference to the structure of the text, where the student says: These questions are
especially prevalent in the first part, whereas the second part of the text answers some of them. This is an excellent
way of showing the examiner you understand how particular language and structural devices are linked to the text as
a whole. After establishing those whole-text connections, the student makes the smart decision of focusing on one
particular question to further dissect its purpose. That enables him to thoroughly analyse the particularities of the text.
Again, the same effect is used to link this device to another one, use of sarcasm, with excellent embedding of quotes.

PRONOUNS

The next paragraph again begins with reference to the previous one, which helps maintain cohesion:

In close connection with the author directly addressing his predominantly white audience is his use of
pronouns. He makes a very clear distinction between himself and his audience, by constantly referring to
them as “you”, mentioning “your celebration…your greatness…your prayers”. This stark contrast between
himself and the other African-Americans on the one hand and the whites the other hand is most starkly
represented in the short and impactful sentence at the end of paragraph two: “This fourth of July is yours, not
mine. “

The student references the use of pronouns, again following a very clear P-E-E approach. The use of pronouns is
important in virtually every speech, especially those with political connotations, but you must make sure to avoid
quoting just “you, “me”, them”, and instead offer more context, as in the example of “your celebration…your
greatness…your prayers”. Again, the student moves on from the use of pronouns in the whole text and hones in on
one particularly impactful sentence, which enables him to examine the use of pronouns more closely. It would perhaps
be beneficial if he added a sentence or two of further analysis of the significance of this sentence for the entire text.

PERSONAL ANECDOTE

While for the most part, the author speaks of the general struggle of his people, towards the end of the text, we get a
peek into his own life, when he relates a personal anecdote of his own experience of slave trade. Here, too, we see a
reference to his mistress, who hated the abuse of slaves and “sympathized with me in my horror.” This is perhaps a
very subtle reference to the idea that other whites too can look up to her example and understand how cruel slavery
is.

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Here is a structural reference again, where the student appropriately notes the shift in focus from the general struggle
of black people to a more personal account. Any kind of development of shift in focus, or examining similarities or
contrast between particular elements of the text falls under the category of structure, and should definitely be included
in your analysis, but again, I would recommend making those references more explicit. You don’t want to leave the
examiner guessing whether you’ve understood it’s a structural element or not. You want to make sure everything you
know is clearly understood by the examiner.

Again, the student discusses the issue of the personal anecdote, but focuses on one particular aspect. In this case, as
we’ve seen in our annotation, there were many other elements to comment on, but no commentary will cover all
aspects of the text. I do think some of the issues from this part of the text should have been discussed in more detail,
though.

Another thing we can note here is the use of a hedging device “perhaps”, where the student is being tentative about
presenting his interpretation of the words used. This is good, because no interpretation is definitive and the use of
expressions such as “it seems”, “the author implies” or “it might be that” is recommended.

METAPHOR

The next paragraph again, begins with reference to the previous one.

In other instances in the text, though, the author is much more direct. He does not give unclear allusions, but very
straightforward, direct and aptly strong messages. His tone throughout most of the text is that of frustration and rage,
and he does indeed, as he says he wishes to, pour “fiery stream of biting ridicule, blasting reproach, withering
sarcasm, and stern rebuke”. He uses the metaphor of natural disasters (“fire”, “thunder”, “storm”, “whirlwind”,
“earthquake”) to denote that the changes that must happen are of tectonic proportions and absolutely urgent.

Here the student discusses the tone of the paragraph, but does so in a very precise manner, focusing on particular
language device (the metaphor of natural devices). The choice of quotations is very good and I especially like how the
student demonstrates his own language prowess by using the term “tectonic”, from the same semantic field as other
words used in the text. Using Douglass’ own words to describe his tone is also an excellent approach.

CONCLUSION

Finally, the student provides a clear and succinct conclusion

Through his use of a variety of different language devices, Douglass paints an impressive and sombre image of
America at the time – one of deep divisions and stark inequality. His speech is an alarming call to end the injustice to
his people and a fierce answer to those who aimed to prolong it.

As we’ve mentioned before, the conclusion is not mandatory, but in this case, it helps the student reiterate his
understanding of the purpose of the speech. It also provides the student with a good opportunity to demonstrate his
language skills (with low frequency vocabulary like sombre, fierce, prolong) and excellent grammar.

Overall, the essay was rather effective in its analysis of different language devices. There are definitely some points
for improvement, especially concerning the discussion of form and structure.

[Link]

As a quick reminder, here is what the student was asked to do in the task.

The task gives us the most important information: genre, audience and purpose. Here is how the student was
supposed to use this information:

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Text type is a speech, so the student needs to demonstrate that she understands this type of writing is meant to be
spoken to a live audience, which makes connecting with the audience even more important than in other types of
texts. The student needs to use typical speech techniques, like anecdotes, humour, imperatives, rhetorical questions
and direct address.

It’s also important to note that the student is asked to write only the first part of the speech. That means that not all the
important information from the article has to be included, which would otherwise be the case.

The audience are the student’s classmates. This has several implications:

The register used needs to be conversational and informal. The audience are young teenagers, the same age as the
writer. Their relationship is not hierarchical, so there is no reason for the student to use overly formal language when
addressing them. Any examples the candidate chooses to include need to be close to teenagers’ experiences and
relatable.

However, although the primary audience are other students, remember, the task was set by the teacher as an official
school task. This means the teacher is the secondary audience, so the student has to make sure to avoid slang and
overly informal register.

The purpose is to inform her classmates. That means that the student needs to use facts from the original article and
provide useful information. She needs to sound authoritative and knowledgeable about the subject. Although the text
is meant for the audience of teenagers, the purpose also influences the register, moving it in a slightly more formal
direction.

Now, let’s analyse the sample response and see what we can learn from it:

The candidate writes:

Dear friends,

If you saw me earlier laughing uncontrollably, please don’t think I’m crazy. I just remembered how my brother
once forgot that his camera was on during English class and everyone watched him make dinner instead of
paying attention. The teacher even asked if he could send some over to her house – she thought it looked
delicious! He still gets teased about it. But don’t you think it’s funny that we laugh at ourselves in the middle
of a global pandemic?

Well, I’ve been reading about this recently and as it turns out, laughing in the face of a disaster is nothing
new. In fact, even gladiators did it. Picture a buff, bloodthirsty gladiator about to go to his death writing funny
graffiti on colosseum walls. I know, I couldn’t believe it either! And even Decameron – you know, that
hilarious book we read in Miss Moretti’s class last year – was written during the Black Plague!

Apparently, laughing in these dismal situations is actually good for you. If you don’t trust me – trust Sigmund
Freud, one of the most prominent psychologists of all time. A recent study supported his “relief theory”. In
that study, scientists analysed how laughter helped 100 people suffering from depression.

Let’s start with the very beginning. The student begins the task with a very appropriate greeting, that immediately
shows her awareness of the conventions of a speech and establishes her connection with the audience by calling
them her friends. The first sentence may seem unusual and out of place, but in it the author immediately directly
addresses the audience, and the sentences serves as an introduction into the rest of the first paragraph. There, she
tells a personal story or an anecdote to get the audience interested in the topic and prepare them for the rest of the
speech. This is an excellent technique, very appropriate for a speech, which not only adds a touch of humour, but also
links the author with the audience in two major ways:

1. The student uses informal, conversational register (by using phrases such as Crazy, send some over) to
connect with the audience and set herself on the same level as them
2. She uses an example that is very familiar and close to all students in these pandemic times – a funny
anecdote from online classes. Virtually every student is able to relate to such a universal experience, and can
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 think of a similar example of his own. That helps create rapport between the author and the audience, making
it more likely for the audience to engage with the rest of the speech.

The introductory part finishes off with a rhetorical question: Don’t you think it’s funny? This is an excellent structural
technique that serves as a very good link between the anecdote in the introduction and the rest of the speech, and
also makes the reader curious about the topic of the speech. Especially interesting to note is the use of the word
“funny” as part of the expression “isn’t it funny”. The author plays on words here, linking the expression “isn’t it funny”
meaning isn’t it curious, isn’t it unusual with the overall topic of the speech.

The next paragraph starts off with another linker between the introduction and the main part. In this paragraph, the
student moves on to the actual facts from the article. She uses two of the facts mentioned in the article, regarding the
history of humour in crisis: the graffiti written by gladiators and the comical nature of the Decameron. However, it’s
important to note that the student does not lift from the original text. Instead, she takes the facts from the article, but
adapts the language she uses to her audience and text type. She uses an imperative “picture” to engage her
audience, and then makes excellent word choices by using visual imagery and alliteration in the phrase “a buff,
bloodthirsty gladiator”. This is followed by the exclamatory sentence in which the writer again reaffirms her relationship
with the audience by indicating that the fact was unbelievable for her too. She relates the second example,
Decameron, to the students’ own experience of reading thew book. The candidate and her audience share the
experience of taking the same Italian classes and reading the book together, so this is an excellent choice of content
point from the original article.

The third paragraph takes on a more serious tone as the student has already established firm connection with the
audience and is now more devoted to fulfilling the purpose of her speech – to inform her classmates about humour in
the times of crisis.

Structurally, the discourse marker “apparently” helps the student move from the topic of the history of using humour to
the new subject of the benefits of humour. To establish herself as a reliable source of information, the author uses
ethos – the appeal to authority and credibility. The first instance of ethos is the reference to Sigmund Freud, an expert
on the subject. She also uses ethos when referencing (a possibly made up) study, thus backing her facts with
statistics. Although this particular statistic was not mentioned in the original article, the article did mention reference to
humour helping people with depression and the statistics do help create a tone of authority that is important for
fulfilling her purpose.

We can see that the student did very well in adapting her text to the audience and purpose set in the task. She used a
variety of different techniques to make her text appeal to her audience and fulfil its purpose. The conventions of the
genre were also fulfilled, with use of appropriate opening, direct address and other language techniques throughout
the speech.

In terms of language, we can note that the student writes without any grammatical or vocabulary mistakes. There are
many instances of high-level vocabulary, such as buff, bloodthirsty, dismal, prominent and grammar (have been
reading). Particularly interesting is the use of sentence structures and punctuation. The punctuation is very varied,
including dashes, exclamation marks and quotation marks. Sentence structure varies from short, impactful sentences
to longer, more complex sentences with parenthetical clauses. In terms of language, this is an excellent model for
your own writing: throughout the text the student shows awareness of major text elements, and supports them by
accurate and very carefully selected words, techniques and sentence structures.

Overall, the text is very successful in achieving its purpose. The candidate demonstrates that she understood the
content of the original text and is able to use it to write her own text accurately and effectively, while keeping within the
word limit. This answer would receive marks in the highest bands.

However, there is always room for improvement. One potential drawback of the text is the length of the introductory
anecdote. Although it serves a useful purpose of connecting with the audience, the anecdote does not include any
direct references to the original text and it takes up a whopping 62 out of 200 words. At least some of those words
could have been used to squeeze in another reference to the original text. Making key references to the original text is
very important for earning high marks for reading skills.

Other than that, this text is an excellent example of what a good model response looks like and I hope this analysis
has helped you understand what is expected of you in this part of the exam.

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P-E-E stands for point-example effect.

P stands for point – what language device did the author use?

As we already mentioned, you need to precisely and correctly identify the language devices used.

E is example.

For every important language device you identify, you need to mention a specific quote from the text. Here, it is
important to note that you should avoid using long quotes. Please, don’t quote entire sentences. Precision is really
important in this exam, so, when choosing what to quote, always try to focus on one or two, maximum four words at a
time. I promise, this is always a better approach.

Finally, E stands for effect.

That means, and this is an absolutely crucial step in the process, you need to explain why the author used those
precise words.

What effects did he want his words to have on the reader?

How did he want to make the reader feel, or what did he want to make the reader do?

[Link]

Question 2, Paper 1: Text Analysis.

This video will show you the process of responding to this question and in our next videos we’ll go in depth and
analyse all of the steps of this process further.

As you already know, in this part of the exam you will be given one text to read and asked to write an analysis of the
language used in that text.

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So, how do you go about it? What steps are included in the process of responding to this question?

There are four steps.

The first step is to carefully read the task and the text.

As you read the text, which you should do at least two times, annotate the text. This means you need to make notes
for yourself on the exam paper, highlighting and underlining any important words and phrases.

Next, you need to plan the analysis essay that you will write.

Finally, you need to write the essay itself.

Let’s take a look at each step.

Step one tells us to read the task and the text.

The task will always include the following sentence:

Analyse the text focusing on form, structure and language.

Here, it’s important to note that the command word is analyse. That means you should not focus on WHAT
the author wrote but HOW and WHY he wrote it the way he did.

Imagine you are analysing Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. We all know the story. A child can tell you the story. This
play is not famous because of its content, because of the plot. The plot is very straightforward. They fall in love, their
families hate each other, they all die in the end. This plot was familiar in Shakespeare’s time too; he didn’t do anything
new by telling that story.

So, if a 5-year-old can retell it, why do we still read and praise Shakespeare today?

Not because of what he wrote, but because of how he wrote it – because of his word choice, his beautiful metaphors
and similes, because of the originality and beauty of his language.

Therefore, in your analysis, you must make sure not to comment on the content of the passage. The examiners know
very well what the passage is about. You need to focus solely on the linguistic choices the author made and discuss
why he made those choices.

As you read the text, you need to annotate it.

To annotate means to make notes for yourself on the exam paper. These notes will be very useful to you in the later
stages of your analysis.

In the exam, you are allowed to use highlighters and different coloured pens on the text itself. This will make it much
easier for you to do the annotation. However, you are not allowed to highlight anything on the answer booklet.

Bear in mind that the examiners do not grade your annotations. The annotations are there to help you make sense of
the text. So, don’t worry if your notes are all squiggly and weird. The only thing that matters is that they make sense
to you. Don’t waste time trying to make them all tidy and pretty. No one cares, really. All the information you want to
convey to the examiners needs to be in your analysis essay. And that should be neat and pretty.

So, how do you write the analysis essay?

Well, first you need to plan it.

I know, I know, why on Earth would you do that? Doesn’t planning sound like a big waste of time and you really don’t
have much time in the exam? Why do I insist on this?

Imagine this scenario. You want to build a house. No, no, no, wrong metaphor. You’re not trying to get a D, you’re
trying to get an A. let’s go big, you’ll build a mansion with 35 bedrooms, ten walk-in closets and a secret basement.
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In your head you have an approximate idea of what a house looks like, so you just start building. How hard can it be?

What do you think the outcome will be?

Will your house end up looking like this?

Or like this?

It’s a pretty safe bet to say that, without a plan, you’re doomed to fail.

Planning isn’t a waste of time, it’s an investment.

If you don’t plan what you’re going to write, your essay, just like the metaphorical mansion will come crashing down.
We don’t want that now, do we?

So, again, why am I insisting so much on this?

Two reasons:

1. Planning helps you organise your thoughts and make sense of the annotations and notes you’ve
made.
2. Planning helps the examiner better understand your thoughts. Examiners are not mind readers, you
know. They don’t have access to the inner workings of your brain, so they need a well-organised,
carefully constructed essay to help guide them along your train of thought.

Additionally, proper organisation of your essay is one of the elements they’re grading, so please, make sure to plan.
Or else – do you hear that creaking noise? It’s that house someone tried to build without having a plan first.

Now, onto the writing.

First of all, without even getting into the actual contents of your writing, you need to write in paragraphs and those
paragraphs need to be somehow logically connected. In one of our next videos, I’ll show you one method of
organising your ideas, but of course, there is a bunch of different ways you can go about it.

How ever you do it, make sure not to waste time writing about obvious things and avoid including information that is
clearly spelled out in the task. The examiners already know that information, they wrote it. Instead, try to give new
information with every new sentence you write.

In terms of your style, don’t think that, just because you’re writing an English essay, you need to be poetic and use
flowery language filled with metaphors and similes. You’re not Shakespeare. Save that for other parts of the exam.
This question calls for an analysis essay, so your style of writing should be objective, matter-of-fact, straightforward.
You should of course, still use formal language and proper complex vocabulary and sentence structure, just make
sure you stay on the right track.

[Link]

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