390 WORK Greenbe

of responsibilities? In what ways does this listing strategy help

news maga
her make her point about wives?
take the ph
3. Syfers makes effective use of rhetor ical questions in two places But as
in
her essay: near the beginning, when she asks "Why do I want thoug ht. A
a
wife?" and at the end, when she closes the essay with a one- chan ge tha
sentence parag raph asking "My God, who wouldn't want a wife?" dislik e for ,
How do these two questions contri bute to the overall essay? How that we ha1
do they "frame" the essay? Escaf
letha rgy a1
Some
quitti ng 01
taboo s. Tb
Esc api ng the Daily Grind notic e, tos
walk ed av.
for Life as a Ho use Father Thei
eager ness
exclu ded.
RIC K GREENBERG other pers
I sen
comp etifr
daily jorn
Rick Greenberg tells of leaving his job- "escaping the some thinJ
treadmill"-and taking on the duties and responsibilities of dead lines
"house fatherhood." His account of his experience illuminates here sy co
the difficulties and also the joys of reversing traditional gender The·
roles with his wife, certainly a radical step in today's society. office -ho1
deca de.!'
seam less.

Y ou on vacati on?" my neigh bor asked.

My 15-mo nth-ol d son and I were passing her yard on
our daily hike throu gh the neigh borho od. It was a week-
day aftern oon and I was the only worki ng-ag e male in sight.
The

boom er,
Unt

full-t ime
"I'm uh ... worki ng out of my house now," I told her.
Nm
Thus was born my favorite euphe mism for house fatherhood,
and than
one of those new life-style occup ations that is never merel
y men- herw orl<
tioned . Expla ined, yes. Defen ded. Even rhapso dized about.
I was pare me
tongu e-tied then, but no longer. People are curious and I've
learne d Wl
to oblige.
getti ng a
I joined up earlie r this year when I quit my job-a dead- end,
As
ulcer- produ cing affair that had dragg ed on interminably. I
left to you do?
be with my son until somet hing better came along. And if nothin
g Pei
did, I'd be with him indefinitely.
fling to
This was no simpl e transition. I had never known a house fa-
reer. Fa
ther, never met one. I'd only read about them. They were
anoth er belie ve

Gender Reader, Rick Greenberg, Allyn & Bacon, 2000

 Greenberg I Escaping the Daily Grind for Life as a House Father 391

ategy help news magazine trend. Being a traditionalist, I never dreamed I'd
take the plunge.
o places in But as the job got worse, I gave it serious thought. And more
10 I want a thought. And in the end, I still felt ambivalent. This was a radical
ith a one- change that seemed to carry as many drawbacks as benefits. My
nt a wife?" dislike for work finally pushed me over the edge. That, and the fact
ssay? How that we had enough money to get by.
Escaping the treadmill was a bold stroke. I had shattered my
lethargy and stopped whining, and for that I was proud.
Some friends said they were envious. Of course they weren't
quitting one job without one waiting-the ultimate in middle-class
taboos. That ran through my mind as I triumphantly, and without
notice, tossed the letter of resignation on my boss' desk. Then I
walked away wobbly-kneed.
The initial trauma of quitting, however, was mitigated by my
eagerness to raise our son. Mine was the classic father's lament. I felt
excluded. I had become "the man who got home after dark," that
other person besides Mama. It hurt when I couldn't quiet his crying.
I sensed that staying home would be therapeutic. The chronic
competitiveness and aggressiveness that had served me well as a
daily journalist would subside. Something better would emerge,
· the something less obnoxious. My ulcer would heal. Instead of beating
1S of deadlines, I'd be doing something important for a change. This was
iates heresy coming from a newspaper gypsy, but it rang true.
nder There was unease, too. I'd be adrift, stripped of the home-
ity. office-home routine that had defined my existence for more than a
decade. No more earning a living. No benchmarks. Time would be
seamless. Would Friday afternoons feel the same?
The newness of it was scary.
yard on Until my resignation, my wife and I typified today's baby-
a week- boomer couples, the want-it-all generation. We had two salaries, a
b.t. full-time nanny and guilt pangs over practicing parenthood by proxy.
Now, my wife brings home the paychecks, the office problems
erhood, and thanks for good work on the domestic front. With me at home,
ly men- her work hours are more flexible. Nanny-less, I change diapers, pre-
t. I was pare meals and do all the rest. And I wonder what comes next.
learned What if I don't find another job? My field is tight. At 34, I'm not
getting any more marketable and being out of work doesn't help.
ad-end, As my father asked incredulously: "ls this going to be what
: left to you do?"
10thing Perhaps. I don't know. I wonder myself. It's even more baf-
fling to my father, the veteran of a long and traditional 9-to-5 ca-
1use fa- reer. For most of it, my mother stayed home. My father doesn't
nother believe in trends. All he knows is that his only son-with whom he
392 WORK

shares so many traits-has violated the natural order of men provid-

ing and women raising children. In his view, I've shown weakness
and immaturity by succumbing to a bad job.
But he's trying to understand, and I think he will.
I'm trying to understand it myself. House fatherhood has
been humbling, rewarding and unnerving.
"It's different," I tell friends. "Different."
Imagine never having to leave home for the office in the morn-
ing. That's how different. No dress-up, no [Link] tumble out
of bed and you're there. House fathering is not for claustrophobics.
I find myself enjoying early morning shopping. My son and I
arrive right after the supermarket opens. The place is almost
empty. For the next hour we glide dreamily, cruising the aisles to a
Muzak accompaniment. This is my idyll. My son likes it, too; he's
fascinated by the spectacle.
Housekeeping still doesn't seem like work, and that's by de-
sign. I've mastered the art of doing just enough chores to get by.
This leaves me enough free time. Time to read and write and day-
dream. Time with my son. Time to think about the structure.
So much time, and so little traditional structure, that the days
sometimes blur together. I remember on Sunday nights literally
dreading the approaching work week, the grind. Today, the close
of the weekend still triggers a shiver of apprehension; I now face
the prospect of a week without tangible accomplishments, a void.
On our hikes to the playground, I can feel my old identity fad-
ing. All around are people with a mission, a sense of purpose.
Workers. And then there's the rest of us-the stroller and backpack
contingent. The moms, the nannies, and me. I wonder if I've
crossed over a line never to return.
Still, the ulcer seems to be healing. I take pride in laying out
a good dinner for the family and in pampering my wife after a
tough day at the office. I love reading to my son. Running errands
isn't even so bad. A lot of what had been drudgery or trivia is tak-
ing on new meaning; maybe I'm mellowing.
Which is ironic. To be a truly committed and effective at-
home parent, there must be this change-a softening, a content-
ment with small pleasures, the outwardly mundane. This is a time
of reduced demands and lowered expectations. Progress is grad-
ual, often agonizingly so. Patience is essential. Ambition and com-
petitiveness are anathema. Yet eliminating these last two qualities-
losing the edge-could ruin my chances of resurrecting my career.
I can't have it both ways.
The conflict has yet to be resolved. And it won't be unless I
make a firm commitment and choose one life style over the other.
I'm not yet ready for that decision.
 Greenberg I Escaping the Daily Grind for Life as a House Father

'.er of men provid- h In the_ meantime, a wonderful change is taking place in our
: shown weakness k ome. Amid all the uncertainties, my son and I have gotten to
. now each other. He can't put a phrase together, but he confides
e will. m_ me. It can be nothing more than a grin or a devilish look. He
= fatherhood has tnes new words on me, new shtick. We roll around a lot· we crack
~•ch other up. I'm no longer the third wheel the ma; who gets
. ome after dark. Now, I'm as much a part of his life as his mother
>ffice in the morn- is. I, too, can stop his crying. So far, that has made the experiment
[Link] tumble out worthwhile.
· claustrophobics.
ng. My son and I
place is almost
ing the aisles to a REFLECTING ON MEANING
likes it, too; he's
1. What does Greenberg's initial defensiveness about his new role
md that's by de- in the family suggest about the way others perceived him? Why
chores to get by. did his neighbor assume he was on vacation? Why did his father
Ld write and day- react so negatively to his new status? How do you think most
Le structure. women and men would react? What is your reaction?
ire, that the days 2. Greenberg clearly sees himself as apart from the mainstream of
V nights literally society, the "people with a mission, a sense of purpose," the peo·
Today, the close ple who would consider it unspeakable not to work. How does
sion; I now face the family unit relate to these values? What roles are outlined for
;hments, a void. women and men in the family? In what ways is a person occu·
old identity fad- pied with child rearing a person without a mission or a sense of
:nse of purpose.
er and backpack purpose?
wonder if I've 3. "I can't have it both ways," Greenberg laments, echoing the di·
lemma that most women face: choosing between a career and a
de in laying out family. Is it possible to have both? What obstacles confront a per·
son who tries to have it both ways? How do men in most cases
my wife after a
,-.unmng
.
errands manage to juggle both?
' or trivia is tak-

nd effective at- EXPLORING RHETORICAL STRATEGIES

Ling, a content-
~- This is a time 1. Greenberg begins his essay with an anecdote about a neighbohr.
rogress is grad- Is this an effective way to begin? Why or why not? How doest e
>ition and com- anecdote help him illustrate his thesis?
t two qualities- 2. The essay contains the occasional "sentence_ fragment"-a group
ting my career. of words punctuated as a sentence but lackmg an element con·
sidered necessary to a sentence, such as a subject or a finite verb.
m't be unless I In addition, Greenberg uses one-sentence paragrap~s. Both de·
over the other. vices are often regarded as incorrect. How many instances of