Emotional Intelligence

The past decade brought a surge of research into the biology of personality and emotion. Based on
these studies, we can conclude that at least a portion of our intelligence and personality are
determined by genetics. But this raises the question: What can we change? Why do some
intelligent people founder in life, while less intelligent people prosper? The answer lies with a set
of abilities called emotional intelligence (EI).

Evolution has given us emotions to help us cope with dangerous situations. Emotions evolved to
drive us to take action in the face of danger. We retain the emotional system of our cave-man
ancestors, who regularly faced life-and-death situations. In modern society, those emotions often
overwhelm thought. In a real sense, we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels. The
rational mind lets us think, ponder and reflect. But the emotional mind is impulsive and powerful.
Usually, the two work in harmony, but intense feelings sometimes allow the emotional mind to
dominate the rational mind.

The brain's emotion centers evolved first. The limbic system surrounds the brainstem. This is the
center of passionate emotion and also influences learning and memory. Later evolution produced
the neocortex, where the brain thinks. Meanwhile, on the sides of the brain, there grew the
amygdalas, a pair of structures that act as a storehouse of emotional memory. The amygdala gives
life emotional meaning and passion. In a crisis, it reacts almost instantly, far more quickly than the
neocortex. This emotional brain can act independently of the thinking brain. The amygdala gives
extra weight to memories of emotional arousal, so we have vivid memories of pleasure or danger.

While the amygdala pushes us to action, the cortex works like a damper. It stifles or controls
feelings. We experience emotional hijackings when the amygdala is triggered and the neocortex
fails to control it. Strong emotions interfere with attention span and every aspect of clear thinking.
Even so, our goal should never be to eliminate emotion. Instead, we must find an intelligent
balance of reason and emotion.

Components of Emotional Intelligence

The IQ contributes only 20% to life success. The rest is the result of emotional intelligence,
including factors like the ability to motivate oneself, persistence, impulse control, mood
regulation, empathy and hope. IQ and emotional intelligence are not opposing competencies. They
work separately. It is possible to be intellectually brilliant but emotionally inept. This causes many
life problems. Yale psychologist Peter Salovey cites five major areas of emotional intelligence:

1. Self-Awareness - knowing one's emotions. - It would seem at a glance that our feelings are
obvious, but they often are hidden from us. Emotional self-awareness is ongoing attention to one's
internal states, including the emotions. It is a neutral state that continues self-examination even
during intense emotions. Psychologist John Mayer calls it being "aware of both our mood and our
thoughts about that mood." For practical purposes, self-awareness and the ability to change our ds
are same. Emotions can be and often are unconscious. They begin before a person is consciously
aware of the feeling. Thus there are two levels of feeling, conscious and unconscious. Unconscious
emotions can have a powerful effect on thoughts and reactions, even though we are not aware of
them. When we become conscious of them, we can evaluate them. Thus self-awareness is the
foundation for managing emotions and being able to shake off a bad mood.

2. Managing emotions - handling feelings so they are appropriate. -

A sense of self-mastery and the ability to withstand emotional storms has been praised as a virtue
since the ancient Greeks. A life without passion would be boring; the goal is appropriate emotion.
Our emotional life maintains a constant background hum, rarely becoming intense. Yet managing
emotions is a full-time job. Much of what we do, from work to recreation, is an attempt to manage
mood. The art of soothing ourselves is a basic life skill, some say one of the most essential psychic
tools. The design of the brain means we have little control over when we will be swept by emotions
or what those emotions will be, but we have some control over how long they last. We can change
our behavior and even take medication.

One of the most difficult emotions to escape is rage, partly because anger is energizing, even
exhilarating. It can last for hours and create a hair-trigger state, making people much more easily
provoked. When the body is already in an edgy state and something triggers another emotional
surge, the ensuing emotion is especially intense. One way to cool off from anger is to seek
distractions. Going off alone helps, as does active exercise. Sadness and bereavement are often
the emotions that alleviate rage, but full blown depression is a danger. To break a depression
cycle, challenge the thoughts feeding the depression and schedule pleasant distractions. These
can include exercise, sensual treats, accomplishing some small task, helping others in need or
prayer. One powerful tool is cognitive reframing, or looking at your situation in a more positive
light.

3. Motivation - marshalling emotions in service of a goal.-Positive motivation is a key to

achievement. The greatest athletes, musicians and chess masters are distinguished by their ability
to stick with arduous practice, year after year, beginning early in life. Emotions determine how we
do in life by enhancing or limiting our capacity to use our innate abilities. One critical skill is the
ability to restrain emotions and delay impulses, to defer gratification. This is the key to a host of
efforts, from dieting to getting a degree.

Anxiety undermines intellect, while good moods enhance thinking. Those who are adept at
harnessing their emotions can use their anxiety for motivation. The relationship between anxiety
and performance has been described as an upside-down U. Too little anxiety means no motivation
and poor performance. Too much anxiety impairs intellect. Peak performance comes in the middle.
A mildly elated state called hypomania is ideal for writers and other creative people. Hope and
optimism also play a powerful role in life. Hope means not giving in to negativism or depression in
the face of setbacks. Optimism means having a strong expectation that things will turn out all
right. Optimists attribute failure to something they can change, and therefore do not get
depressed about it. Optimism is an emotionally intelligent attitude that boosts performance in the
business world. Underlying both is self-efficacy, the belief that one has mastery over the events of
one's life and can meet challenges.

Psychologists have identified a peak-performance state called flow. This is emotional intelligence
at its best. Flow comes when people become fully engaged in a task in which they are highly skilled.
It comes in the zone between boredom and anxiety. Emotions are positive, channeled and directed
at the task at hand. It is a state of self-forgetfulness. Full attention is focused on the task. It is a
state of joy, even rapture. The brain actually becomes calmer in flow; the most challenging tasks
are finished using minimal energy. Any person or child can learn flow by repeatedly performing
tasks that they love.

4. Recognizing emotions in others - empathy, which is the fundamental people skill.-The more self-
aware we are, the more skilled we become at reading the feelings of others. Rapport, the root of
caring, arises from the capacity for empathy. Those who can read others' feelings are better
adjusted, more popular, outgoing and sensitive. Empathy begins in infancy, with attunement, the
non-verbal physical mirroring between child and parent. Attunement reassures an infant and
makes it feel emotionally connected. This requires enough calm to be able to read subtle, non-
verbal signals from the other person.

5. Handling relationships - skill in managing emotions in others.-Expressing our feelings is a key

social competence. Emotions are contagious. We send emotional signals in every encounter and
unconsciously imitate the emotions we see in others. These signals affect others. As people
interact, they often mirror each other's body language. The more they show this synchrony, the
more they share moods. This coordination of moods the adult version of infant-parent
attunement, and is a key determinant of interpersonal effectiveness. The better we are at sensing
the emotions of others and controlling the signals we send, the more we can control the effect we
have on others. This is a fundamental part of emotional intelligence.

Applied EI: Management

The arrogance of some bosses and the bad morale that they create diminish productivity
and drive employees away. As such, the application of emotional intelligence becomes a
cost-effective method of organizational management. The basic currency of managerial emotional
intelligence is feedback - managers must learn not only to provide it, but also to accept it
intelligently. Be careful not to confuse feedback with criticism as personal attack. An artful
critique should be delivered face-to-face with empathy, including specific praise as well as
criticism and a focus on solutions. Those on the receiving end of criticism should learn to hear it as
valuable information. In an economy dominated by knowledge workers, the concept of the group
emotional quotient (EQ) is critical. The ability to work in harmony and take advantage of members'
talents provides the basis for successful work groups.

Applied EI: Marriage and in Medicine

Emotional intelligence can help counteract the social and personal tensions that pull marriages
apart. Men and women learn different emotional skills as children. A key warning sign of trouble in
a marriage is harsh criticism. It is important to criticize an action without attacking the person.
Personal attacks leave people feeling ashamed and defensive and can trigger a fight-or-flight
response.

The emotional brain is closely tied to the immune system. Stress makes people more susceptible to
infectious diseases. Hostility has long been associated with heart disease, but any intense negative
emotions can have the same effect. Relaxation exercises are a good countermeasure. So is self-
confession. Talking about problems even enhances immune function. Doctors should learn that
managing feelings is a form of disease prevention and that patients do better when their
psychological needs are attended to.

Emotional Literacy

Studies of children show a decline in emotional condition across the industrialized world. This
trend is reflected by widespread withdrawal, anxiety and depression, attention disorders and
delinquent behavior. Children and adults should be trained in the five key emotional intelligence
skills. The old-fashioned word for these skills is character. Putting aside self-centered focus and
impulses opens the way to empathy, understanding and an acceptance of different perspectives.

About The Author:Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., covers the behavioral sciences for the New York Times. He has taught at
Harvard and was formerly editor of Psychology Today. Previous books include Vital Lies, Simple Truths, and The
Meditative Mind. He is co-author of The Creative Spirit.