“Casting Call”

A Christmas Play
by
Eddie James

© Skit Guys, Inc. Only original purchaser is granted photocopy permission. All other rights reserved.
“Skit Guys” is a trademark of Skit Guys, Inc. Printed in U.S.A.
Note to Director/Creative Producer of this Play:

Thank you for trusting SkitGuys.com for your scripts and plays. I try really hard to
picture how these plays can work in your church, which is why I'm very proud of
"Casting Call."

This play can be used in several different ways to fit your congregation or a specific
audience for a great night during the Christmas holidays. I like to think of it like a
"transformer" robot but in script form.

*This is a preview copy, so scripts are not shown in their entirety.

1. There are 7 vignettes included.

A church could easily read the vignettes and find 5 of them they like, performing one
every Sunday leading up to Christmas, starting the weekend after Thanksgiving.

We do suggest to always start with the ANGEL and end with JESUS vignette, but
outside of that, feel free to do whichever ones in between. Each vignette comes with a
different theme and the scripture is specific to the birth of Christ.

Check below for our recommended order.

2. Show all seven vignettes for a full, sequential production.

You can do this with two spotlights: stage left and stage right. Simply alternate the
two between vignettes with the actors also alternating as the previous vignette ends.

Example: The Angel vignette would start on Stage Left and the next vignette would
take place on Stage Right.

Center stage would be the final vignette (JESUS) with the Live Nativity scene set up. It
would stay black for the big "reveal."

3. Music
If you wanted to add music between the vignettes, you could easily use one spotlight
and play Christmas songs in between each vignette and expand the night and the
production to give it even more depth.

Without music, the vignettes would last a little under an hour. With music, they could
be stretched to an hour and a half to two hours, depending on how much music is
actually added.

4. Staging Needs

• You’ll need 1 or 2 spotlights to go back and forth between the vignettes.

• If you are performing week to week, you will only need one spotlight and a
small table with a Bible set on it. Be sure that the table is high enough for the
actor to easily reach the Bible without having to bend over.

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 • The "Live Nativity" should be set up Center Stage and ready to go for the final
act.
• When "Casting Call" was originally performed, a large red curtain, as seen in
theaters, was the setting/backdrop for each audition.

Scene 1: ANGEL, Auditioning for The ANGEL

Angel enters, excited to audition. The Director calls out from the back of the
auditorium, unseen.

Director: Alright. Let's keep things moving here…we are auditioning for the
Angel. Who is next?

Angel: Hellooo…(steps into spotlight). I guess I'm next. Ready to give my

audition.

Director: Great. Tell me a little about yourself before you read.

Angel: Well, you may not believe this, but my name is Angel. I've heard them
all over the years having a name like this.

Director: I bet you have. What made you want to audition for the role of the
Angel for the Live Nativity?

Angel: Well, I am an actress. A pretty good one if I might add.

Director: I see.

Angel: Yep. I've been acting in community theatre since I was a wee little
one. Was Annie…

Director: Annie?

Angel: You know, the little orphan one…

Director: I see.

Angel: I've played Maria in West Side Story to the Phantom in Phantom of
the Opera.

Director: You played the phantom?

Angel: Well…yeah…they were short on men that summer and well…I don't
let an obstacle stand in my way. (Thinking about the experience) My
rendition of the phantom did have more of a soprano than a low
baritone though…

Director: You sound more than qualified.

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 Angel: I hope so. I've also played every role in the Live Nativity except my
name- The Angel. I think it's about time…

Director: Go ahead and grab the script (Angel grabs the Bible from the table)
and read the Angels' lines.

Angel: Alrighty…let's see here…(getting into character) (she starts to sing

the line to the tune of "People" from the musical "Funny Girl") Joseph!
Son of David, don't be afraid to take yourself Mary, your wife, for it is
he-

Director: Go ahead and stop for a minute please.

Angel: Hmm? (Stopping the song abruptly) I'm sorry?

Director: You do realize this isn't a musical? You were singing the script.

Angel: Oh. My bad, my bad…my bad…(have the actor make this her
catchphrase) I just assumed we were going to jazz it up a bit.

Director: A virgin who is with child is pretty jazzed up don't you think?

To read the rest of this script and perform it, download the full version at
SkitGuys.com!

ENDING:

Director: I want you to stop holding on to what you know and what you are
comfortable with and just surrender and trust that I've got a plan and
a purpose for this. I know you may have doubts, but dive in.

Angel: Ummm…okay, my bad, my bad…I'm just going to dive right in. (Picks
up Bible and starts to read. As she reads, she picks up conviction,
confidence and joy as she reads the greatest announcement ever
told.) Joseph, son of David, don't be afraid to take to yourself Mary,
your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. She
shall bring forth a son. You shall call his name Jesus, for it is he who
shall save his people from their sins.

Director: Really great Angel…Angel.

Angel: You mean it?! (Excited)

Director: It was good!

Angel: You like me! You really like me! I can't wait to tell everybody I got the
part. (She starts to run off excitedly.)

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 Director: I didn't say that but I'll get back to you very soon. In the meantime,
maybe you could put that name of yours to use. You're already a
messenger…with the greatest news ever told.

Angel: There I go again, (embarrassed) making it about me. (Beat) My bad,

my bad. (Angel stands in spotlight smiling holding Bible to her body.
She just caught a glimpse of her part in the announcement and in
the world.)

Lights out.

Scene 2: GEORGE, Auditioning for HEROD

George enters, finding the spotlight center stage.

George: Is this the casting call? (Onstage, putting his hands up over his eyes,
squinting as the spotlight is in his face.)

Director: Yes! It is. You are in the right place.

George: Good! I thought I was. My name is George Clooney. Not the actor
George Clooney, even though we look a lot alike. I know what you are
going to ask, "Are you two related?" I don't know yet…checking that out
on familytree.com. (Crosses fingers) We will see…

Director: Welcome, George. So you are here to audition for the Live Nativity Scene
this year?

George: I am and very excited about this. I think if you allowed me to be a part of
this production, I could really add a lot to it.

Director: Great. Which character are you auditioning for?

George: Well, I was looking over the script (picks up a Bible) and it seems like the
character is in the play but just not in the nativity and I'd like to see if we
could add him in this year.

Director: So, you would like to audition for a character that is not even in the Live
Nativity?

George: Correct! You are so easy to talk to. It's true what people say about you. If
you allowed my idea to be a part of the story, I think I could really chew
up the scenery. Help me, help you.

Director: Which character are you talking about?

George: King Herod.

Director: Herod?

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 George: I know, right?! You're feeling it, aren't you? Where's Herod? You've been
wondering the same thing! It's okay…give it a minute…let it wash over
you.

Director: Wondering what?

George: Why the king didn't make a little cameo in the Live Nativity? He's the
one that got the whole thing started with the census, why is he left out?

Director: He's the bad guy in this story.

George: Exactly. Every great story has a villain. Darth Vader, JR Ewing, gas prices,
Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man, Snooki…(or add in your own) Let’s put
Herod right in the middle of all of it.

To read the rest of this script and perform it, download the full version at
SkitGuys.com!

ENDING:

George: Okay. I see what you are saying. My ego is not my amigo. (Picks up Bible
and leafs through it) I guess I'll audition for the shepherd…he saw an
angel and carries a big stick.

Director: Sure.

George: Great. (Idea!) But how about he isn't a shepherd at all but a time traveler
and he gets transported to 8th century BC and he knows all this stuff
and helps everyone and saves the world from destruction and despair.

Director: That's what Jesus did. NEXT!

Lights out.

Scene 3: TINA, Auditioning for MARY

Tina steps into spotlight. She is chewing gum and holding her phone. She is expecting
to be offered the part on the spot; she feels entitled.

Director: I'm ready to see people who want to audition for Mary. Next-

Tina: Hey. (Looking at her phone) Um…(texting) I'm here.

Director: Uh…are you here to audition?

Tina holds up her finger to the light as if to say "hold on".

Tina: Yes. (Looks up) I am here to play Mary.

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 Director: Well, you have to audition.

Tina: Uh…kay…what's that?

Director: Audition means you read the script and I see if you'd be right to play
Mary.

Tina: Oh. I just thought if I showed up, I got the part.

Director: No, it doesn't work that way. Tell me, why did you want to audition?

Tina: Well… (she gets a text, she looks down, laughs) that's funny. (Starts
texting back.)

Director: Uh…excuse me. (Tina holds her finger up to the light AGAIN as if to say
"hold on".)

Tina: Kay. Ready. (Puts phone down.)

Director: Tell me why you wanted to audition?

Tina: My mom made me. She said it would be good for my personality. (Rolls
eyes, plays with hair) I think I have an awesome personality.

To read the rest of this script and perform it, download the full version at
SkitGuys.com!

ENDING:

Director: You have 49 followers and two of them are your grandparents who don't
even know how to use Twitter. Look, I see how hard it is for you and
even adults to believe that it's not "all about you". In a sense, we all
worship something other than God. (Pause, she continues to type) You
know…the place you pour out all the best energies…the thing that
defines who you are…the thing you absolutely can't live without…the
kind of god that will die if not plugged into the wall at night.

Tina: Ouch. (Puts phone down) True. Guilty. Okay. I want to do this. I want to
be Mary and look longingly at baby Jesus.

Director: I think I have another part for you. It's not a flashy role or even a role
that would warrant a lot of…Tweets. But, it could be the greatest role of
your life.

Tina: Greatest role of my life? I'll do it!

Director: I haven't told you the role ye…

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 Tina: I don't care. I'll do it.

Director: You sure.

Tina: Totally. What is it?

Director: Props. You'll be in charge of the manger scene.

Tina: WHAT?! (Drops phone.)

Lights out.

Scene 4: JOE, Auditioning for JOSEPH

Joe walks up to the spotlight for his audition. He seems a little reluctant.

Director: We are now ready to hear auditions for the role of Joseph!

Joe: Hi. I'm Joe. Joe Staleman.

Director: Hey, Joe. Why are you auditioning for the role of Joseph today?

Joe: Eh…well…in all honesty…pound for pound…my wife wants me to.

Director: Oh. So, this is not something you volunteered on your own?

Joe: No.

Director: (With a little humor) Say it ain't so, Joe.

Joe: Can't. Wish I could, but my wife says I'm kind of a caveman- in my own
little world watching way too much Sports Center. Says I care way too
much about Nascar and Hillbilly Hand Fishin' than I do about giving
back to (in air quotes) "the body of Christ".

Director: I see. Well, Joseph is a big role. The earthly father of the Messiah. Trekked
a trail from their hometown to Bethlehem on foot- over 300 miles to
register for the census. Married a woman that was pregnant with the
son of God. Big shoes to fill.

Joe: Yeah, about that. I should have probably auditioned for a shepherd
cause all they do is watch sheep and keep to themselves. Again, my
wife's idea for me to play Joseph- cause that's my full name Joseph.
Joseph Arlene Staleman.

Director: Arlene?

Joe: Yeah, my mom was a twin. Her sister's name was Arlene. I was the third
child in the family and no girls…hence I got my aunt's name as my

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 middle name…Arlene. Embarrassing. Humiliating. Makes you just want
to run and hide when your mom is mad and calls out your full name.
(Mimicking mom, going back in time to a moment when he was a kid)
"JOSEPH ARLEEEEENNEEE STALE-MAN! You put that cat down! God
didn't put them on this earth for you to make boom-a-rangs out of!" (To
Director) Momma was always very sensitive toward the feline
community…

Director: I guess someone needed to. You just might be perfect for the role of
Joseph, Joe.

Joe: Pound for pound, I'm just not seein' what your seein', I reckon.

Director: Here's the deal- all the emotions you have felt- the confusion, the
embarrassment, humiliation, disillusionment- Joseph felt all of those.

To read the rest of this script and perform it, download the full version at
SkitGuys.com!

ENDING:

Director: I think you are. I think you nailed your audition with the simple
realization it's not your will but God's. His son would say the same exact
thing thirty three years later as he died for the sins of the world.

Joe: Yeah, I'm sure glad he did that for me. I'll remember that as I'm staring at
that little baby in the manger. I guess that's what you theatre folks call,
"gettin' into character"?

Director: Something like that.

Joe: Alright then, one more thing. Do I have to wear that Biblical robe
thingy?

Director: You do.

Joe: Can't we try to do it differently? I can wear my camo huntin' pants. It's
almost like a robe.

Director: (With a smile; amused) Sorry…not your will.

Joe: Yeah, I get it.

Director: Joe?

Joe: Yes sir?

Director: Give me that Joseph pose one more time.

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We see Joe happy to oblige as he gets in the previous Joseph pose. He stands in his
pose, frozen. As the moment washes over him, we see him begin to smile with pure joy
and even a tear.

Joe: (Thoughtfully) Wow…pound for pound. (Caught up in the moment,

pretending to look at the Baby Jesus.)

Lights fade.

Scene 5: FRANK, Auditioning for WISE MAN

The Director, unseen, calls for the next to audition.

Director: We are now auditioning for the Wise Men. Who's next?

Frank: Uh…that would be me.

Steps into spotlight slowly. Audience can tell this person is normally not in the
"spotlight". He looks a little smart or nerdy. Without being a cartoonish caricature of a
typical nerd. A little social awkward but funny. Think "big bang theory" but more than
nerdy. Frank goes into the traditional "wise man" pose.

Director: Welcome. Uh, what are you doing?

Frank: This is my wise man pose. You know, for the audition. (Goes back into
pose.)

Director: You don't need to do that quite yet. Your name is Frank Cos - what?

Frank: Cos-grove. "Cos" as in cosmic and "Grove" as in orchard.

Director: Is that Irish?

Frank: Correct.

Director: Can you speak Irish?

Frank: Is that required for the part? Did one of them travel by camel from
Ireland? I don't even think it was named Ireland yet. I thought all I had to
do was present a gift to the baby Jesus. (Makes the pose with the hands
as if to bow and present the gift of myrrh.)

Director: No, you're fine. I was just trying to spark up conversation.

Frank: I'm not good with people.

Director: Really? (Subtly sarcastic but good natured; say this line with a smile on
your face because it will change the tone of how you say the line. It will

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 come across as good-natured instead of mean) Never would have
guessed.

Frank demonstrates his pose as he describes in his next lines. Make this a funny,
awkward attempt as he really tries to be a "wise man".

Frank: That's why I thought this part would be great for me. No talking. No
interacting with anyone. Just kneel…hands 3 inches from the ground
holding the gift, back at a 45 degree angle and legs in a squat position
as if I'm hovering while presenting the gift.

Frank holds this pose until his next line. If there is laughter, let it go for a few seconds.
The Director can also be a little amused at his awkward pose.

Director: That's a good kneel for sure.

Frank: Darn-tootin'. The other reason why I feel I'd be great for this role is I'm
very smart. Always have been. Smart and wise seem like the same thing.

Director: They're really not.

Frank: Regardless, I've seen the attempts at the Live Nativity of lesser
earthlings before me and I think I should be the one to play a wise man.

Director: Did you just call humans, "earthlings"?

Frank: Like I said, I'm not good with people.

To read the rest of this script and perform it, download the full version at
SkitGuys.com!

ENDING:

Director: I'm not the one you should be offering gifts to. Let me try to help you
out. Read what the Bible says about the Wise Men - as far as their
character.

Frank picks up the Bible and starts to read.

Frank: "They, having heard the King, went their way and behold, the star, which
they saw in the east, went before them, until it came and stood over
where the young child was. When they saw the star, they rejoiced with
exceedingly great joy".

Director: You're not ready to be the wise man until you don't have anything else
run your life - logic or feelings - but simply…Christ. Don't miss what's
really important. For everyone else in the nativity, nothing else mattered
but what arrived that night. That's what makes you truly…wise.

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 Frank: (Still preoccupied with unfinished business) My wife!! That's it! My wife!
Her name is MYRNA! Ha! I knew I couldn't be outsmarted…

Director: You are married? Truly is a season of miracles…NEXT!!

Frank: Now wait just a minute!

Alternate ending:

Frank: Cat! That's It! My cat. Her name is Myrna. Ha! I knew I couldn't be
outsmarted.

Director: You named your cat Myrna? You and a cat - that sounds about right.

Frank: Well…(beat) I'm not good with people.

Lights out.

Scene 6: CONNIE, Auditioning for MARY

Connie enters as the Director speaks. Connie finds the spotlight and is a bit nervous.

Director: We are now ready to cast the part for Mary. Next…

Connie: Hi! My name is Connie. Which is so opposite of Mary. (Says it with a

harsh, funny inflection) Con-nie. I was named after my aunt. Such a hard
name. Mary is such a sweet, soft name.

Director: You're fine. Thanks for taking time to come out today and audition. So,
you want to portray the role of Mary in the Live Nativity?

Connie's phone rings.

Connie: Sorry…(to husband on phone) What is it? The food is in the refrigerator.
I am auditioning for the live nativity thingy at the church. (Looking up at
Director and making a "so sorry type face".) You stick it in the microwave
for 4 minutes on high. On high. High! Put our son on the phone. (Beat)
Hi sweetie! Hey, can you help daddy cook his dinner? Put it in
microwave on…yep…that's it…level 2 for…4 minutes…okay…put
Daddy back on the phone…Enjoy! (Hits "end" on phone and puts
down. To Director.) So…sorry. My world just never stops.

Director: Totally okay. You have a lot in common with Mary. Her world didn't stop
either.

Connie: You're right! Which makes it even more perfect- I've seen the Live
Nativity so many times, I just thought "why not?" I can stand there and
hold a baby…Heaven knows I have three.

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 Director: Are you ready to read some lines for Mary?

Connie: She has lines? I mean- I didn't think there were lines. I've always just
seen her look longingly at Jesus. (Strikes the pose) And then every once
in awhile look up at Joseph. (Strikes the pose to look at baby Jesus and
then looking upward as if Joseph was standing there.) And then Mary
does the back forth- Jesus to Joseph- Joseph to Jesus. (Acts out this
series of events: Strikes the pose looking at Jesus. Then to Joseph. Back
to Jesus then to Joseph and then back to Jesus.)

See! I can do that.

Director: But reading lines?

Connie: It's Mary. She's the Mom of the Son of God. I wouldn't even know what
she sounds like…

Director: I assure you the lines are straight from the Bible -that makes our script.

Connie: Yeah but…

Director: What?

Connie: I read the script- er- the Bible. (Grabs the Bible off the table)
See…(thumbing through it) Luke 1:30, "The Angel said to her, "Don't be
afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God". (Looks up to Director)

Director: Yes. And…?

Connie: Well, I don't know…if I've found favor with God. I would hate for my
words or my life to misrepresent what took place that day. I can pose
though and look longingly at Jesus.

Director: I hear what you are saying Connie. That's what we all should be doing
this holiday and every day.

To read the rest of this script and perform it, download the full version at
SkitGuys.com!

ENDING:

Connie: I don't know. The angel said she was highly favored…I'm just…(Connie
uses her arms to display who she is with disdain.) me.

Director: Connie, you're His child too. Your name is beautiful to the Creator of the
Universe.

Connie: It seems impossible.

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 Director: But you just read that NOTHING is impossible for God. You'll do great,
Connie.

Connie: Yeah. (Beat. New idea.) Hey, I like how you say my name. (Smiles) I can't
wait to be in this play. Even if just for one night…maybe my world will
spin slower. Maybe I can be quiet for a little bit and…and just look at
Jesus.

Director: You don't have to wait.

Connie: Well, a wise woman once said, (reads from Bible) "May it be to me as you
have said."

Lights out.

Scene 7: JESUS, The Live Nativity

Lights up on the live nativity. Every cast member enters and moves to their
"traditional" spot. Since there is some set up for the live nativity, and if you are doing
this as a full-length play, a suggestion is to have the choir, band or a soloist sing a
Christmas song as the audience watches the live nativity being set up.

"Teen" Mary, who is now part of the stage crew as the "prop girl", is leading the
way…she "gets" it! We see all the characters move to their places. All of this should
happen within one song. Time the setup with the song and when the song ends,
everyone in the live nativity is in their places and frozen. The only one moving will be
the Baby Jesus.

We see Mary (adult Mary). We see the Wise Man that auditioned along with two other
additional wise men. We see Joseph. We see a shepherd, the same character who
played George (Herod). We see the Angel. Everyone is now in their Biblical clothes as
opposed to their street clothes that they auditioned in. We even see "Teen" Mary in
her stage crew clothes placing the Baby Jesus in the hands of "Adult" Mary on the set.
"Teen" Mary is learning to serve.

Director: Little one who was born, let me tell you a story: "In those days Caesar
Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire
Roman world. And everyone went to his own town to register. So
Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to
Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and
line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to
be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the
time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a
son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because
there was no room for them in the inn."

How fitting it is that you were born amongst the mess? In a barn full of
animals and hay in an unsafe, fallen world. No palace to shield you from

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 the world, but a full view of humanity…from a barn no less. As you
grow, your story will become the greatest story that will be told for
centuries from one generation to the next. Nations will be divided
because of your birth. Calendars will be divided in light of your birth.
The world, in all its busy-ness, won't recognize you at first, but some will
realize a Savior entered the world. You will see the hurt, the anger, the
pride…every hidden shame and frailty.

To read the rest of this script and perform it, download the full version at
SkitGuys.com!

ENDING:

You will hear their cries…and weep for them. You will hear their
prayers…and heal them. You will die a cruel death… and rise again for
them. Some will see that though the thief comes to kill, steal and
destroy, you, my Son, came to give them life.

Just as the prophet foretold little one: The Lord will give a sign: The
virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son., and will call
him…Immanuel. "God with Us".

Slow fade on baby in manger.

You might go right into singing Christmas songs or praise music with the live nativity
still set on stage and transition into your time of worship.

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