2. Forbidden Clothes Jamila Gavin it irom us.’ “They are taking her away, fr ; t her words in a flat, monotone voice but, as Khan articulated u a «leaned forward and stared intensely into the eyes of her lish teacher, Margot Henderson. mentarily shocked out of her boredom. This ce Mrs Khan had put together herself after she spoke, sh volunteer Eng| Margot stared back, mot was the first English senten nearly six weeks of lessons. ‘What do you mean?" asked Margot. Still leaning forward, Mrs Khan spoke again. She repeated the same pat sentence, hammering it out with stac ay “They are taking her away from us.’ ise way of << “Who is taking who away from you?" asked Margot, looking round. Then she met the large, dark eyes of the fifteen-year-old girl in the school photograph. It sat alone on the mantelpiece, tes reverence and devotion accorded to an only child. Gry She wasn't beautiful. Her face had been left to fend for itself, framed only by a severe headscarf which swept her hair away out of sight. Her nose was too long and narrow, her cheekbones to angular, her mouth too broad. Yet there was something compelling about the way she looked almost defiantly into the camera, as if she was trying to say, ‘Yes, this is me. There’s more to me than meets the eye." 'Nasreen.’ Mrs Khan whispered her daughter's name, ‘Ah, yes! Nasreen!! rej is , ’ repeated Margot, brightly. at school?” Cerca were deaf, ‘How is she getting on Margot asked her question loudly and slowly as if the ana Powered by eS CamScannerMrs Khan opened her mouth and drew in her breath sharply as she struggled to find the words. a “she ... not... fine, Fine...” She shrugged helplessly and slumped back in her seat, drawing her veil across her face. 7/ @ ff e irritatic isi in her. Mrs Khan was not her Margot felt the irritation rising up ; i il Jow learner, and she resented the sense o} i cee Aa lop the woman, slowing down her dumb depression which seemed to envelop the w a ee movements and imprinting an expression of wooden ed on her face. ‘Don't just say “fine”, Mrs Khan. Put it in a sentence,’ urged Margot with exaggerated patience. ‘Nasreen is fine.” ‘Nol’ exclaimed Mrs Khan sharply. ‘Nasreen is ... 0 ... fine ...’ she struggled desperately. ‘You mean, Nasreen is not fine,’ corrected Margot. ‘+Nasreen is not fine,’ repeated Mrs Khan obediently. ‘Is something’ wrong at school?” asked Margot. She glanced at her watch and noted with relief that their time was up. Mrs Khan saw the movement. She stood up, twisting the ends of her veil in her fingers. ‘Yes, it is time for me to go,’ said Margot, thankfully. She was really not in the mood for trying to extricate sufficient English out of Mrs Khan to find out what was bothering her. ere ‘if you have a problem with Nasreen, the best thing to do is talk to the school,’ said Margot. ‘Perhaps your husband can. He speaks good English, doesn’t he?’ Then, giving her a kindly pat on the arm, she gath her text book. aaa “Try and work through the exercises we have ll see you next week.’ Then she made her and opened it. ‘Goodbye, Mrs Khan.’ covered today, OK? And own way to the front door Mrs Khan didn’t reply, but stood in the semi- iA darkness at the rear of Powered by eS CamScannerthe hall. She looked as if she were being swallowed up within her satin tunic and pyjamas, as she clutched the veil around herself. ‘By-eel’ repeated Margot, giving a cheery wave, and shut the front door behind her. ’Nasreen! Nasreen! Come on, we'll miss the bus!” Louise Dibben danced impatiently at her friend’s elbow, as she stood in front of the long mirror, fluffing out her hair and squirting clouds of hair lacquer into it. “How do | look?’ asked Nasreen, twisting her head to examine her profile. “You look great, really great! Now come on. If we miss the bus it will all be for nothing,’ ‘OK, I'm coming.’ She gave a last critical glance at, herself. The transformation was pretty good. From her demtire/éxless school uniform * with headscarf and slacks for modesty, she had squeezed herself into a tight elasticated pair of jeans for which she had secretly saved up for weeks to buy. They flattered her figure, she thought, emphasising her long legs and narrow waist. ‘Does my bum look too big?’ she asked, tui ring sideways. “You look great, | tell you,’ insisted Louise, ‘and | like your top an’ all,’ she added. ‘You got better boobs than me, lucky thing. But hurry up.’ ‘We're all right for time,’ said Nasreen, glancing at her watch. ‘Stop Panicking! We've got five minutes yet. I’ve got to do me eyes.’ Louise sighed and sat on her bed. ‘God! If your mum and dad could See you now they'd have a blooming fit.’ ‘My dad would kill me,’ murmured Nasreen, as she brushed the mascara on to her eyelashes. Nasreen had taken to coming back to Louise's house most days after school. Gradually she had built up a secret wardrobe of leggies and low- Powered by eS CamScannerkirts and T-shirts, sometimes plain and sometimes with i across her chest. hes,’ she woul cut tops, of minisl slogans blazoned ‘My forbidden clotl transforming herself to go change into her uniform, went back home she would once more b her parents thought she was. Nasreen still shuddered w! ld laugh. She felt like Cinderel, out and have a ball, then rushing back to headscarf and dull slacks, so that when she e the demure, innocent little gil hen she remembered the pain of those early days at Merton Close. She had never been made to feel different before, But now all people seemed to see were her differences: her different her different clothes, her different voice and, most of all, until Louise decided coloured skin, her different religion. She was nothing but a Paki, to be her friend. Slang inse livin? f Apt SOMCONL ¢ Louise was brash, Louise was loud! Eduisé was a leader. listened to her. She seemed so grown-up. She was the first to perm her hair and wear tight, short skirts; she was the first to have a boyfriend and sitsmoking in the bus shelter with him. She had opinions, and talked back to teachers, so Nasreen was astonished when, one day, Louise marched up to her with a maths book and said, ‘Hey Nasreen! You're good at maths, Help me with this.’ Ue peo ak People Ne yoeean going to each other’s houses, but Nasreen knew her mother didn’t like Louise and thought she was a bad influence so, instead, she only went round to Louise’s house. Nasreen loved the Dibben household. It was so different from her oun sar silent, scrupulously tidy home. Here it looked as if a tornado ‘ad struck it most of the time: always buri washing, of babies’ bottles and halecheued persed natured chaos, and no one minded if she es toe deri 3 good: sofa watching televisi ing sandwiches nn Ped acrO8s the 8 television and munching sandwiches, oo ‘Wanna go with me to 2’ Louise asked her One day 80 witl the disco?’ Lou y. Powered by ( CamScanner‘Oh no! | couldn't!’ Nasreen looked shocked at the prospect, then disappointed because she wished she could go. ‘I'd never be allowed, she said, sadly. “Don't tell ‘em then,’ snapped Louise, bold as brass. ‘Anyway, I’ve got no clothes,’ added Nasreen. ‘I couldn’t go like this!” “Borrow mine,’ retorted Louise. Then she shrieked excitedly. ‘Hey! Let me dress you up! Please, Nasreen! Just for fun!’ So that’s how it all started. “There! OK?’ She turned round to show her friend her face with her painted.eyelids,stiff, blackened lashes, the hint of blusher on her cheeks and just the right shade of lipstick, to tone in. ‘Beautifull’ exclaimed Louise, generously. ‘Now let’s go!” The two girls clattered downstairs. An admiring whistle rang out from the kitchen. Louise’s younger brother, Craig, gave a cheeky wave. ‘Like your jeans, Nasreen! Sexeee!’ ‘Oh shut up!” squealed-Nasreen, but she was pleased, Sitting at the back of the bus, Nasreen and Louise admired each other and laughed at the world they had set out to conquer. In ten minutes they had alighted in the centre of town and made their way along to the Precirict where they knew all their friends would be congregating. ‘Carl's there,’ Louise hissed at her friend, ‘So?’ exclaimed Nasreen, flushing. “You know you want to get off with him, and he’s j Denise.’ i t split up with ‘Has he?’ cried how d Nasreen. ‘Why didn’t you tell me before? Oh God, ‘Tye told you. You look fabulous. It he doesn’t all for you, he’s blind lope. Oh good, there's Mark,’ Louise squealed, and ran over to join her boyfriend, ~ The telephone rang. ‘It’s me...’ Powered by eS CamScanner“Where are you?’, wailed Mrs Khan. ‘Why weren't you on the bus?” ‘Mum, | went back to Louise’s house- We're doing our homework together. She's miles better at geography than me, and she's helping me,’ , explained Nasreen, convincingly. “Bui what about tea?’ asked Mrs Khan. ‘I’ve got yours all ready here,’ ‘Louise's mum gave me some, so I'm ‘Sorry, Mum,’ said Nasreen. _fine. Must go. We've. got tons to get. done.’ “When will you be home?’ asked Mrs Khan quickly, trying to hang on to her daughter's voice. ‘Well...’ Nasreen answered vaguely. ‘I think we've got another hou k, because after geography, | said I’d help Louise with her at that than her.” 2 Mrs Khan hesitated, trying desperately to assert her authority. »-<“Get back before your dad does, won't you?” ‘Of course | will, Mum. Must go. Bye!’ Anc the phone went dead. ‘OK? asked Carl as she came 0 ‘the phone booth. “Yeht’ Nasreen smiled sweetly at him, and slipped her arm in.his. “Pave_we time to_g0 t0 the Flamingo? Have a quick drink?’ asked WS UT as Carl. “Louise.and Mark have gone on ahead.’ ‘Of course!’ cried Nasreen, happily, ‘But I've got to be changed and on.that eight o'clock bus home. Me dad gets in at nine, and I've got to make it before he does, or else there'll be hell to i =e 4 think we've got another hour hie Mrs Khan stood in the bay window. Although d; 7 2 ~ lal she hadn't put on the light, but had drawn aside a tetoan fad fen ‘ains to gaze, Powered by eS CamScannertook to going on ahead or dawdling behind her mo she walked changed. Instead of the leisurely, shy wal “Iong-legged, looking more and_more_like -a_western. girl despite her headscarf and the slacks under her school uniform. On approaching the schdol ites" she"Would Suddenly see her friends and, tossing out the word ‘goodbye’ as if to no one in particular, she would disappear into the school, arms linked and immersed in the sound of Bossip and laughter. She never looked back these days. PaOT ane ther. Even the way Ik, she now strode, heart. ‘the words English, as if someone. would hear and_understand her fears... She felt a sudden surge of anger as she remembered her English teacher. Pp < That was when the lump of misery took residence in Mrs Khan’s hey are taking her. away ... tal “They? Who's they?’ Mrs Khan could hear the indifferent voice as > Margot Henderson asked the question. ! “They? Why the Dibbens of course!’ Mrs Khan answered it now to: the empty room, spotlessly clean, neat and devoid of any signs of human. © ist.as Mr_Khan liked to have itwhen.he.came-home,.. = The Dibbens. Mrs Khan clasped her.atms.tighly_ around, her_body, Straitjacketing herself, as if afraid if she did.not she _might.scream.at.the, 2 Ym lonely! I'm lonely! And they're taking my-child away fromme.!.= ‘Nasreen?’ The sound of the front door sent her scurrying.to.the-hall_. Nasreen tossed. her schoolbag inside, and kicked the front door closed. ‘Hi, Mum” she said indifferently, and did not look her in the eye.. ‘Sorry I'm lat Sorry. te,.we had tons of homework. I'm going to my room. I'm tired andl just.wantto flop!’ ‘Nasreent’ Mrs Khan reached out and touched her daughter’s cheek. “She wanted to clasp her, reclaim her. ‘Did you have supper” she asked. ‘Imade your favourite pakoras. Come to the kitchen and have some.’ : ‘No, Mum!’ Nasreen refused impatiently. ‘I’m not hungry. | had plenty —. pence Z ete ee Powered by eS CamScannerlet me go to my room,’ and she shook herself fra. | let me e's. Just 6 to eat at Lot p and rushed upstairs. her's ras} ‘ from her mo = a she hastily removed the rest of | het ot ; N® Qnee inh Fully folded them into a carrier bag and tucked it right —“gathes. a ‘ - of her wardrobe... ; ): 1 “ hen a e sat in front of her mirror. Had her mother noticed remnant make-up? She Jeaned forward to scrutinise herselfand laoked into he. ol make-t ar en owneyes. They were still shining with excitement. / . Carl had seen her home, Carefully, of course, because it wouldn't do for any of the neighbours to see her — especially anyone from her own community. They had hidden in a bus shelter while she took off her jeans and put back her school, slacks under her uniform. we “What about the hea d, after she had shaken out her hair and re-plaited it, But she dropped her head with embarrassment. ‘Oh that doesn’t matter,’ she said. ne Ofcourse, it did, and when he said goodbye to her at the corner— he, = Kissed her till she felt she would faint — and h Ki ‘in uttiedly walked away, she tied.on.her-headscarf when.he.was out of sight, and went home slo giving ae time for her flushed cheeks to calm down, NI 1 flushed to.calm down, NIB Now, as she stared at her reflection, feeling guilty; it made her angry. She didn’t want i Yi » ae chen.t want to think about the {{ockand dsppointment her faher would Seolithe knew where was loing; she dic .think.of how ther n’twe she.was hurting her.mother. Atth e now she was hurting F er. At th ¢, Moment, it was her mother, above all, | : i who made her angry. She was Alable, So pathetically vulnerable; her whole fe was, tee d i 7 Serving her husband; servi ighter. Nothing she did ee eee she felt guilty. She didn’t like Nasteen swore to herself. door. She heard her mother’s Powered by eS CamScannerut aire crow? Witraut her are Sete, Gore © ( LEE ecrs Tele als0 alvinking qleohol) “Nasreen! Nasreen!” It was her father’s voice, rough with anger. ——e ‘Nasreen's up in her room,’ she heard her mother say nervously. ‘You're back early. Is everything all right?’ "He igniordd her and called again: ‘Nasreen! Get down here! | wish to speak to you.” Fiercely he switched on all the lights.- Nasren slowy descended the stars, pausing halfway down, her pale " face looming over the bannister, (see 5 m dlongty ) E “Hi, Dad!’ She tried to sound unconcerned... Gidowm here Ou WERE THE S7AC. i dow here He prodded his finger in rinto the air space before him. She continued her descent, meeting her mother’s puzzled eyes at the bottom. Then she faced her father. ‘Here!’ He prodded the air in front of him. ‘Nasreen’ Mrs Khan touched-her daughter's arm, She had never seen. Mr Khan look so angry. Mrs Khan wanted to protect her. She clung to her AOS Rian Wanted’ to protect her. She arm, pulingherback. Giede a ports about us Wane a apres “What iit, Rashid? What has shé‘done? Bless don't harm het” g ‘Let go of her!’ His voice was cold and determined. /Nasreen has shamed me and her family and iene and she must be made to NE Qvere fo consceutive tgalise what she has done.’) VS Pelee leone a ‘How?’ cried Mrs Khan. “What has she done? Nasreen?’ She turned + pitifully to her Gaughter, ‘What have you done?’ Mion? &. <, [2 Consceus iy he has RES seen in the fown without he er veil and sl ie, dressed. i nglish girs, wearing a tight miniskirt, high heels | ute, How dare you! How dare you do this to | He began to remove his leather belt. ~ No, Rashid, no!” begged Mrs Khan. ‘I’m, sure Nasreen won't do this again, will you, Nasreen?’ ‘And it’s not the first time.’ Mr Khan's voice choked with emotion. “{ now hear that this has been going on for months, Everyone in the Quste Blevex socks conseentte te piove that 1 Not the fr. Xvone she’s ¢ e Pils 2 Powered by {J CamScanner