B ye B ye V irgi n ity

Stasee is your ty p ical sh y,

q u iet teenage girl u nti l
the n ight her brother’s best
frien d D amen H urtz
deci des to f i nal l y
ac k no w ledge her existence. I n
a
desperate attem pt to gai n h is
acceptance she
al lo ws h i m to ta k e the one
th i ng every girl val ues
most…her v irgi n ity. A fter that
n ight, D amen
constantl y begi ns accepti ng
her w h i le they’re
alone an d then rejecti ng her i n
front of h is peers.
Stasee’s frustration an d
con f usion conti n ues to
gro w , as do her feel i ng to w ard
the man w ho
conti n ues to brea k her heart.
H e clai ms that he
cares for her, b ut w i l l h is need
for h is peer’s
acceptance prevent h i m from
ever treati ng Stasee
the w ay he shou l d? A n d i f he
f i nal l y real i zes the
stu p i d ity of pop u larity over
love, w i l l Stasee sti l l be
w aiti ng for h i m?

C hapter 1

I w al k ed out of the bathroom

an d began to slo w l y
ma k e m y w ay do w n the
narro w hal l w ay. M y
han ds w ere tuc k ed deep i nto
the poc k ets of m y
l ittle p i n k pajama pants i n an
attem pt to k eep m y
f i ngers w arm. T he n ight air
w as ch i l l y an d as I
si lentl y made m y w ay bac k to
m y bedroom I
cou l d n't sw ay m y m i n d a w ay
from the thought of
sl i d i ng bac k u n der the w armth
of m y p l ush
b lan k et. I w as on l y sporti ng a
ti n y l ittle b lac k tan k
top an d alread y I w as starti ng
to feel the goose
b u m ps risi ng u p on m y arms.
T he house w as si lent. T he
on l y noises w ere the
sou n ds of the w i n d ho w l i ng
f iercel y outsi de the
w i n do w an d m y ol der
brother's ep ic snori ng
echoi ng do w n the hal l w ay.
M y parents w ere a w ay
for the w ee k en d, gone on
some major gol f
tournament, w h ich left the
house to me an d m y
brother. N ot that it w as m uch
of a surprise, bei ng
left u nsu perv ised w as the
norm as m y parents
w ere hard l y ever home. I f they
w eren't a w ay for
gol f then it w as b usi ness or
another vacation,
either w ay they w ere real l y
on l y home a fe w days
a month.
Before they departed, they had
left i m p l icit
i nstructions that w e w ere not
al lo w ed to have an y
frien ds over. N atural l y, m y
brother deci ded to
rebel agai nst m y parent's
authority an d i n v ite h is
utterl y hot frien d over for the
n ight. I honestl y
d i d n't m i n d the eye can d y an d
m y parents w ou l d
be none the w iser. A lso, it
d i d n't h urt that the gu y
w as u n bel ievab l y sexy an d
one of the most
pop u lar gu ys at our school,
K ersha H igh. I cou l d n't
hel p b ut stare at h i m w ith
q u iet reverence an d
a w e every ti me I sa w h i m,
even though he barel y
even ac k no w ledged m y
existence.
A s I reached m y bedroom door
I turned the k nob
an d w al k ed i nto m y w arm an d
coz y bedroom. M y
heart sk i p ped a beat an d m y
breath w as caught i n
m y chest as I real i zed there
w as someone sitti ng
on m y bed. It too k me a
moment to real i ze w ho it
w as as rel ief w ashed over me.
It w as on l y D amen,
m y brother's frien d.
H e w as w eari ng a pair of b lac k
an d red p lai d
pajama pants w ith a tight
w h ite m uscle sh irt. I
cou l d see every perfectl y
ch iseled m uscle through
the th i n fabric of h is sh irt,
w h ich i nstantl y caused
me to breathe i n sharp l y. H is
tousled bro w n hair
w as about an i nch long an d
stood u p on al l en ds,
i n d icati ng he had probab l y
been tossi ng an d
turn i ng i n bed for hours.
T hen su d den l y the rel ief
transformed itsel f i nto
m i l d con f usion. I mean, sure, I
w as rel ieved that it
w as D amen i n m y bedroom
an d not some creep y
stranger danger cra w l i ng i n
through the w i n do w ,
b ut I thought to m ysel f, 'w hat
w as D amen H urtz
doi ng i n m y bedroom?'
" D - D amen?" I stuttered as I
too k a fe w more
brave steps i nto m y bedroom.
" W-w hat are you
doi ng i n here?"
A n d there it w as, m y very f irst
w ords ever spo k en
to th is dem i-god, D amen
H urtz. A lthough D amen
had been m y brother's frien d
for years I had
never exchanged an y sort of
verbal d ialogue w ith
h i m before. H el l, I'd never
real l y spo k en to an y of
the stu dent bod y at K ersha
H igh.
" I cou l d n't sleep," he f i nal l y
rep l ied.
I fro w ned, m y eyebro ws
raised i n con f usion. "So
you deci ded you come i nto m y
bedroom?"
" W el l, I w anted to come see
you," he answ ered
q u ietl y as he stood u p an d
began to w al k to w ard
me. I nstantl y, I felt m y heart
begi n to beat more
rap i d l y an d m y pal ms begi n to
get clam m y.
" M -me?" I ask ed, sti l l
com p letel y dazed an d
some w hat con f used. I mean
w h y w ou l d he w ant
to see me? D amen w as t w o
years ol der than me
an d com p letel y out of m y
league. " B ut w h y me?"
H e too k one last step that
brought h i m on l y
i nches a w ay from me. " I can't
get you out of m y
m i n d, Stasee," he w h ispered
near m y ear. H is
han d reached to w ard me as h is
f i ngers traced
along the outl i ne of m y face.
T he secon d h is
rough sk i n brushed agai nst
m y chee k a sh i ver of
desire ran do w n m y sp i ne.
I stood there com p letel y
stu n ned speech less as I
conti n ued to j ust stare i nto h is
deep bro w n eyes.
M y heart conti n ued to th u m p
u nti l it w as raci ng at
an ab normal an d u n health y
rate. I w on dered i f it
w as possi b le to have a heart
attac k at m y age.
"Stasee," he began to spea k i n
th is w h ispery deep
voice. H e p laced both h is
han ds onto m y h i ps
before p u l l i ng me closer to
h i m. " I can't exp lai n
the w ay you ma k e me feel."
" I-I...u h, b-b ut you...I'm not,
u h." I stuttered, not
bei ng ab le to even remotel y
turn an y of m y w ords
i nto a coherent sentence.
"Sh h h h," he w h ispered. " D on't
say an yth i ng..."
H e p u l led me even closer to
h i m as he lo w ered h is
head an d l i fted m y ch i n.
Before I even had a
chance to com prehen d w hat
w as hap pen i ng, he
pressed h is l i ps gentl y agai nst
m i ne. A t f irst m y
eyes gre w com p letel y w i de.
T h is w as noth i ng
com pared to w hat I had
i magi ned m y f irst k iss
w ou l d be l i k e.
Someho w it seemed far better
no w that it w as
actual l y hap pen i ng!
M erel y a secon d later the
shoc k of h i m k issi ng me
had su bsi ded an d m y l i ps
i nstantl y began to move
i n u n ison w ith h is. H e gentl y
gl i ded h is han ds
u n der m y bottom an d p ic k ed
me u p as m y legs
w rap ped arou n d h is pel v is. H e
p u l led me i nto a
tighter em brace, our l i ps stuc k
together l i k e
magnets to metal.
D amen began to w al k us
to w ard m y bed as I felt
h is tongue slo w l y i n vade its
w ay i nto m y mouth.
H e began to dra w circles on
m y tongue w ith h is.
H e tasted sw eet an d tangy.
I nstantaneousl y, m y
w hole bod y began to melt as
the h u nger to
conti n ue overpo w ered an y
sensi b le thoughts I
m ight have had of stop p i ng. I
eagerl y w rap ped m y
arms arou n d h is nec k an d
p u l led h i m i n closer as I
deepened the k iss. I felt h i m
gri n n i ng agai nst m y
mouth an d he em itted a smal l
giggle as he gentl y
lai d me do w n on m y bed.
Slo w l y, he began to
move on top of me w h i le
pressi ng h is bod y harder
agai nst m i ne.
H e rested one han d on the bed
to hol d h i msel f u p
as h is other han d w ent u n der
m y tan k top an d
slo w l y began to massage m y
breasts. H is col d
han d touch i ng m y w arm
breasts brought a
del ighted sh i ver do w n m y
sp i ne as I arched m y
bac k an d moaned lou d l y
agai nst h is mouth.
D amen then bro k e the k iss
an d brushed h is l i ps
agai nst m y ch i n before goi ng
do w n m y nec k an d
to w ard m y col lar bone,
leav i ng a l i ne of ti ngles i n
its p lace. W e both began to
breath heav ier as our
crav i ngs for each other gre w
stronger.
H e brought both of h is han ds
do w n to the bottom
of m y sh irt. Pan ic k ed, I
q u ic k l y forced m y arms
do w n to w ard h is w rist an d
w as about to stop h i m.
B ut h is l i ps then fou n d m y
nec k , w h ich caused m y
arms to gro w slac k . I suc k ed i n
m y breath
en joy i ng the sensations of h is
l i ps agai nst m y sk i n
an d before I k ne w it, he had
sl i d m y sh irt right of f
of me.
I w atched h i m as he sat u p an d
p u l led h is o w n
sh irt of f. M y han ds seemed to
have a m i n d of
their o w n as they reached u p
an d ru b bed h is bare
chest. Slo w l y, m y han ds began
to w or k their w ay
do w n to h is eight-pac k . H e
came bac k do w n
to w ard me, h is mouth f i n d i ng
its w ay bac k to m y
breasts before slo w l y ma k i ng
h is w ay do w n m y
stomach stop p i ng at m y navel
an d mov i ng lo w er
sti l l. E very ti me h is soft l i ps
touched m y sk i n a
feel i ng of erotic p leasure
w ou l d soar through m y
bod y.
I cou l d feel h i m begi n to p u l l
do w n m y pajama
bottoms, b ut pai d no attention
to it. I w as so lost
i n the feel i ngs an d sensations
of h is l i ps agai nst
m y sk i n. Su d den l y, I cou l d
feel the col d breeze
agai nst m y bare legs as I
glanced do w n an d
noticed both of us w ere l y i ng
on m y bed
com p letel y na k ed. For the
secon d ti me si nce w e
started th is alternate real ity, a
jolt of fear p ierced
through m y bod y. I felt l i k e a
w anton w oman
losi ng control an d not w anti ng
it to stop. I on l y had
thoughts of
D amen an d h is w arm, w et
mouth an d
soft l i ps on m y bod y an d th is
pri mal ach i ng need.
H e m ust have noticed m y
su d den change of mood
because he came closer to me
an d brushed m y
hair out of m y face.
" A re you o k ay?" H e
w h ispered. H is breath i ng w as
lou d an d u neven. H is eyes
shone w ith sexual
energy as he loo k ed deep i nto
m i ne.
" I-I've never done th is before,"
I rep l ied w ith a
w h isper. I loo k ed bac k at h i m
an d m y p u p i ls began
to d i late from desire.
M y heart conti n ued to th u m p
even more rap i d l y
i nsi de m y chest. O ne q uestion
conti n ued to
circu late through m y m i n d,
w hat w as I doi ng? It
felt as i f someone had
possessed m y bod y an d I
no longer hel d an y control
over m y l i m bs. T he
u n i magi nab le feel i ngs D amen
w as a w a k en i ng
i nsi de me had com p letel y
ta k en control, leav i ng
me v u l nerab le to each touch.
D amen conti n ued to loo k at
me w h i le h is
breath i ng gre w even more
ragged. H e pressed h is
l i ps gentl y agai nst m i ne
i nstantl y causi ng m y bod y
to gro w w ea k er. H is mouth
then fou n d its w ay to
m y nec k as i nstant ti ngles shot
through m y bod y.
" You have noth i ng to be afrai d
of."

C hapter 2

D amen then moved on top of

me, p laci ng h is bod y
bet w een m y legs. M y heart
w as raci ng a m i l l ion
m i les an hour out of
excitement, fear, an d
p leasure. I had never had sex
before. W el l,
truth f u l l y I've never even
come close, probab l y
because I w as on l y sixteen an d
never had an
actual boy frien d. I w anted to
tel l h i m to stop, that
I w asn't read y an d that th is
w asn't the w ay I
w anted m y f irst ti me to be.
E very ti me I w ou l d open m y
mouth try i ng to
protest, try i ng to tel l h i m no, I
cou l d n't. T he on l y
sou n d that left m y l i ps w as a
lou d m u f f led moan
of sheer an d utter p leasure. I
k ne w there w as no
stop p i ng h i m, no matter ho w
m uch I w anted h i m
to stop—I cou l d n't manage to
get m ysel f to say
an yth i ng. M y bod y w as i n
com p lete d isagreement
w ith m y m i n d. T he p leasure
pri nci p le overru led
the logic of m y m i n d.
I opened m y eyes, f i nal l y
real i z i ng that D amen
w as w atch i ng me w ith concern
mask i ng h is face.
" D o you w ant me to stop?" H e
ask ed.
M y m i n d w as scream i ng Y ES!
b ut w hen I loo k ed u p
at D amen th is su d den need for
acceptance p ierced
through me.
D amen w as very w el l k no w n
at m y h igh school
w h i le I w as nobod y. I w as j ust
some loner-girl
w ho d i d n’t have even one
frien d. A n d as I lai d
there on m y bed w ith D amen
H urtz l y i ng on top of
me, actual l y w anti ng me,
actual l y ac k no w ledgi ng
m y existence I cou l d n’t seem
to say no to h i m.
It shou l d have been so easy.
A fter al l it w as j ust
one smal l w ord, three letters,
an d one sy l lab le. A l l
I had to say w as ‘Yes, yes I
w ant you to stop!’.
B ut I cou l d n’t do it. M y
su d den need for h is
acceptance, for h is ap proval
overpo w ered m y o w n
morals an d i ntegrity.
I f i nal l y closed m y eyes an d
softl y shoo k m y head.
“ N o,” I sai d softl y. “ D on’t
stop.”
****
T he next morn i ng, I had
w o k en u p to the cool
morn i ng breeze h itti ng m y
na k ed bod y. I began to
force m y eyes open as I soon
came to real i ze I
w as l y i ng on m y bed
com p letel y na k ed. T he su n
w as sh i n i ng brightl y through
m y bedroom w i n do w ,
w h ich forced me to sq u i nt.
I nstantl y an i mage of
D amen f lashed through m y
m i n d.
I h urried l y glanced at the
other si de of m y bed,
on l y to f i n d that the spot he
had fal len asleep i n
w as no w col d an d em pty. H is
clothes that w ere
once stre w n on the f loor w ere
no w gone, erasi ng
al l p h ysical ev i dence that he
w as i n m y bedroom
last n ight.
For a secon d I thought that
may be last n ight had
j ust been a f igment of m y
overacti ve i magi nation.
I stood u p to m y feet an d pai n
shot through m y
bod y. A ten derness w h ich
began at m y...do w n
stairs area, con f irm i ng that I
d i d i n deed lose m y
v irgi n ity last n ight.
I reached do w n an d p ic k ed u p
m y pajama bottoms
of f the f loor an d q u ic k l y
p u l led them on. I then
reached for m y b lac k tan k top
that w as l y i ng on
m y bed an d p u l led it on over
m y head. I k ne w that
m y memory of last n ight
cou l d n’t have been a
dream. B ut the m ystery
regard i ng D amen’s
d isap pearance forced me to
aban don the com fort
of m y bed.
M y f irst thought w as that he
w ou l d be do w nstairs
i n the k itchen, possi b l y
getti ng some brea k fast or
grab b i ng a cu p of cof fee.
Fol lo w i ng the on l y
exp lai nab le possi b i l ity there
w as, I left m y
bedroom an d headed to w ard
the stairs. O nce I
reached the bottom stair, I
conti n ued to w al k
through the foyer an d i nto the
k itchen. Rel ief
w ashed over me w hen I
noticed the refrigerator
w as open an d that there w as a
tal l f igure stan d i ng
on the other si de of the door.
A l l I cou l d see w as
their bro w n hair.
Rel ief an d excitement had
ta k en f u l l reign over m y
bod y. T hough, it d isap peared
j ust as q u ic k l y as
the door closed reveal i ng m y
brother, T rent. I n h is
han ds w as a j ug of orange
j u ice, a p late w ith
panca k es, a bo w l of cereal an d
a bacon an d egg
san d w ich. M y brother w as one
of those l uc k y
peop le w ith a metabol ism that
w ou l d al lo w h i m to
constantl y eat an d not gai n a
pou n d. I hated h i m
for it!
" W here's D amen?" I ask ed,
w al k i ng over to h i m
an d grab b i ng the orange j u ice.
H e tried to grab it
bac k , al most drop p i ng al l of
h is food i n the
process. F i nal l y, he deci ded it
w as probab l y best to
p ut h is arm f u l l of food do w n
f irst.
" H e w ent home," T rent sai d
casual l y as he p laced
al l h is food do w n on the
k itchen tab le. " W h y?" H e
q uestioned me.
I cou l d feel pan ic begi n to set
i n as I too k the l i d
of f the orange j u ice an d began
to ch ug it right out
of the j ug.
It too k a cou p le of secon ds
before I cou l d f i n d m y
voice. " I don't k no w , j ust
d i d n't see h i m th is
morn i ng," I l ied. M y stomach
began to t w ist an d
turn causi ng a sharp pai n to
emerge deep i nsi de
m y gut. I had to concentrate
hard on not al lo w i ng
the tears i n m y eyes to fal l.
A l l I cou l d th i n k about w as
ho w he used me. H o w
he came to m y bedroom, had
sex w ith me an d left
me
alone. H o w he too k m y
v irgi n ity from me l i k e
it w as noth i ng i m portant. H e
d i d n't even have the
decency to w ait u nti l I w o k e
u p before he left. N o,
he d i d n’t do an y of these
th i ngs, i nstead he crept
a w ay i n the m i d d le of the
n ight or w henever he
left, l i k e I w as some one n ight
stan d. L i k e I w as
some sl ut he p ic k ed u p at a
party!
" Yah, he seemed to be i n some
k i n d of rush th is
morn i ng," T rent sai d,
i nterru pti ng m y thoughts. I
loo k ed u p at h i m j ust as he
started i n hal i ng h is
food. " O range j u ice," he
m u m b led bet w een
mouth f u ls w h i le poi nti ng to
the j ug.
I passed it over to h i m w h i le
w atch i ng i n d isgust
as he then too k a cou p le of
sw igs out of the j ug. I
cou l d n’t hel p b ut th i n k about
the amou nt of food
that w as probab l y bei ng spat
bac k i nto the j u ice
j ug.
" Yah, he loo k ed l i k e he sa w a
ghost or someth i ng.
H e loo k ed pretty frea k ed out
th is morn i ng." T rent
f i nal l y managed to say once he
sw al lo w ed h is
food.
" O h," I barel y w h ispered out. I
felt l i k e someone
had j ust ri p ped m y heart out
an d w as no w
stom p i ng on it, j u m p i ng u p
an d do w n.
B ut honestl y, w hat d i d I
expect? D amen w as one
of the most pop u lar gu ys at
m y school. E very girl
w ants h i m, has had h i m, has
been used b y h i m or
w i l l never have h i m. I'm on l y
i n grade ten, a
sop homore. H e’s a sen ior an d
not j ust an y sen ior,
b ut a very pop u lar one.
O b v iousl y, he real i zed the
m ista k e he had made an d had
no choice b ut to
ru n a w ay. I w as def i n itel y not
the prettiest girl i n
school or even the prettiest i n
m y grade. I w as
noth i ng, a no bod y.
I w as T rent's an noy i ng l ittle
sister an d that w as al l
I'd ever be. It w as stu p i d an d
nai ve of me to th i n k
an yth i ng w as goi ng to hap pen
bet w een me an d
D amen. B ut, even so, the fact
that I had gi ven u p
m y v irgi n ity so easi l y forced
me to ru n to m y
bedroom, fal l on m y bed an d
ba w l m y eyes out i n
em barrassment,
d isap poi ntment an d shame.
C hapter 3

T he rest of m y w ee k en d had
been extremel y
bori ng an d mai n l y f u l l of
read i ng an d re-read i ng
boo ks that I had ta k en out
from the l i brary. W hen
I w asn’t read i ng, I w as
general l y stal k i ng m y
brother arou n d the house. I
w ou l d eaves drop on
h is con versations over the
p hone an d sp y on h i m
hangi ng out w ith h is frien ds
outsi de. O n more
than one occasion I had ask ed
h i m w here D amen
w as an d w hat he w as u p to.
A p parentl y, T rent had n't
heard from h i m si nce he
f led our house on Saturday
morn i ng. It w as no w
the begi n n i ng of a ne w w ee k ,
M on day, mean i ng I
had to go to school today an d
also that I had to
see D amen.
M y heart w as raci ng as I got
read y for school,
p u l l i ng on a pair of b lac k
sk i n n y jeans an d a b ig
p i n k sw eater w ith snoop y on
it. I reached for m y
Batman bac k pac k an d headed
do w n stairs.
" H urry u p, Stasee!" M y brother
cal led from the
front door, " O r I'm leav i ng
w ithout you an d you'l l
have to w al k!"
I ran do w n the stairs an d
fol lo w ed T rent through
the door an d to w ard h is bright
red ‘72 C hev y p ic k-
u p.
Sure h is truc k w as ol d, a
classic, b ut it w as
com p letel y reb u i lt from its
engi ne to its bod y. It
probab l y loo k ed better today
than it d i d i n 1972.
I j u m ped i nto the passenger
seat as T rent j u m ped
i nto the dri ver’s seat before
starti ng u p the
engi ne. H e drove do w n the
road an d headed
to w ard K ev i n's house. H e
p u l led over to the si de
of the street an d par k ed. I
scooted over i nto the
m i d d le of the truc k as K ev i n
j u m ped i n besi de me.
" H ey D u de!" H e cal led over to
T rent, " You m issed
a pretty sw eet party th is
w ee k en d. C an d ise w ent
sw i m m i ng top less!"
" H ey K ev," T rent laughed,
" Yah, D erre k w as
tel l i ng me about it, heard there
w as q u ite a b it of
sl uts there."
" O h d u de, you don't even
k no w!" K ev i n sai d w h i le
slap p i ng h is k nee i n
excitement.
I j ust sat there stari ng out the
w i n do w as m y
brother began to dri ve. T h is
w as m y l i fe, al w ays
surrou n ded b y peop le tal k i ng
about their oh-so
exciti ng w ee k en ds, w h i lst
m i ne is al w ays the
exact op posite.
K ev i n conti n ued, "Jessica an d
T i f fan y w ere al l over
D amen
agai n, I mean stri p p i ng for
h i m, ma k i ng-
out w ith each other an d lap
danci ng!"
A t the mention of D amen's
name m y head
snap ped u p an d I loo k ed
to w ard K ev i n, m y heart
raci ng l i k e craz y. D amen came
to m y house Fri day
n ight, too k m y v irgi n ity an d
then w ent out
party i ng?! I had th is feel i ng
that he, most l i k el y,
d i d stu f f w ith al l those sk an k y
girls an d com p letel y
forgot about
me! I cou l d feel a k not begi n
to form
i nsi de m y stomach.
" D i d... D amen do an yth i ng
w ith them?" I ask ed
w ith a sha k y voice.
K ev i n turned to loo k at me as
h is eyes gre w w i de
w ith shoc k . “ H ol y crap, she
tal ks?!” T he b lon d-
haired boy teased. H e reached
over an d ru b bed
the top of m y head l i k e I w as a
f l u f f y l ittle lap
dog, " H ey T rent's l ittle sister,
barel y even noticed
you there!"
It w as so an noy i ng ho w they
never pai d an y
attention to m y existence. I
mean K ev i n k ne w m y
name, he had k no w n me for
ten years an d sti l l he
referred to me as 'T rent's L ittle
Sister'.
‘I mean, j ust because you are
good loo k i ng, p lay
sports an d have the girls
fal l i ng al l over you does
not gi ve you perm ission to be
such a stuc k u p
pric k!’ I thought angri l y to
m ysel f w h i le w ish i ng I
w as actual l y brave enough to
say that to h i m.
U n fortu natel y though, that
w as j ust ho w al l m y
brother’s frien ds w ere. T hey
w ere the pop u lar
k i ds-a part of the i n-cro w d
an d I w as a ghost. I
had no label; not a joc k or a
cheerleader, not a
gee k or an emo, not a p u n k or
a bad-ass. I w as
noth i ng, a label-less loner w ho
w al k ed arou n d
w ith no grou p to f it i nto.
" N o actual l y," he f i nal l y
answ ered m y q uestion
before turn i ng h is attention
bac k to T rent, " W h ich
is w eird. T i f fan y an d Jessica
w ere pretty m uch
beggi ng for h i m to notice
them an d yet, he den ied
them. H e's been acti ng pretty
w eird latel y."
" You've noticed that too?"
T rent ask ed, " H e
stayed at m y p lace Fri day
n ight an d then ran of f
i n the morn i ng w ithout even
so m uch as a ‘see ya
later’. H e w al k ed right passed
me an d j ust too k
of f."
" W el l, w hatever h is prob lem
is, he had better get
h is head out of h is ass before
the game agai nst
the W h isk ers th is Fri day."
" N o dou bt." T rent agreed.
I reached for m y batman
bac k pac k an d h ugged it
tightl y agai nst m y chest. E ven
though I k ne w
noth i ng w as goi ng to hap pen
bet w een D amen an d
me an d even though I k ne w he
w as a d u m bass, it
w as rather com forti ng
k no w i ng that he d i d n't do
an yth i ng w ith Jessica an d
T i f fan y. W ho, I m ight
ad d, are the most pop u lar girls
at m y school.
" Batman an d Snoop y? W hat
are you eight?" K ev i n
teased me w h i le poi nti ng
to w ard m y bac k pac k an d
then at m y sw eater.
" H ey d u de, leave m y sis
alone." T rent b utted i n.
" I w as on l y teasi ng her." K ev i n
sm ir k ed.
" W el l don't." M y brother's face
w as com p letel y
serious, i n overprotecti ve
mode as w e p u l led u p to
the school an d par k ed i n our
usual spot.
"Sorry man."
" D on't say sorry to me, say it to
m y l ittle sis."
A lthough m y brother an d I
come from total l y
d i f ferent w orl ds at school an d
hang w ith
com p letel y d i f ferent cro w ds
(an d b y that I mean
he actual l y h u ng out w ith a
cro w d) T rent has
al w ays made it h is job to
w atch over an d protect
me. T hat w as probab l y one of
the mai n reasons
w h y al l of the pop u lar peop le
pai d no attention to
me. I w asn’t cool enough to
hang out w ith them,
though; they also cou l d n’t
tease or b u l l y me
because of m y brother. So,
i nstead, they choose
to ignore me altogether.
"Sorry, T rent's l ittle sister." H e
sai d.
I si m p l y rol led m y eyes an d
j u m ped out of the
truc k after h i m.
" W hatever." I m uttered ru del y.
‘ T al k about the
w orst apology ever!’ I thought
to m ysel f. I w aved
good-b ye to m y brother an d
then headed u p
to w ard the school.
****
T he bel l rang, i n d icati ng it
w as no w l u nch ti me. I
slo w l y began to p ic k u p m y
boo ks from m y desk . I
w as eager to get out of h istory
class because,
honestl y, h istory w as b y far
the most bori ng class
there w as. B ut, w hat I hated
more than H istory
w as l u nch ti me.
" D on't forget to read through
pages t w enty-f i ve
to th irty ton ight. A lso, I’d l i k e
everyone’s papers
on the G reat D epression on
m y desk b y tomorro w
morn i ng!" M r. C al non cal led
out to everyone as
they scurried out of class. I
l i ngered bac k , not i n
an y h urry to get to the l i brary.
I w as al most a
h u n dred percent sure that
everyone at K ersha
H igh, except me, loo k ed
for w ard to l u nch ti me.
L u nch w as the ti me of day I
hated the most
because I sat alone an d read
for the entire hour.
E very day, l u nch ti me
rem i n ded me of w hat a
com p lete loner I w as.
I w al k ed do w n the hal l w ay
an d headed to w ard the
l i brary.
I sti l l had to ta k e bac k the four
boo ks I
had ta k en out for the
w ee k en d.
I w as about ten feet a w ay from
the l i brary w hen a
door
su d den l y opened u p i n m y
face. A han d
reached out from the dar k ened
room an d grab bed
onto m y arm. I felt m y bod y
bei ng p u l led through
the door w ay agai nst m y w i l l. I
d i d n't have a
chance to even th i n k about
w hat w as hap pen i ng
an d once the door sh ut
everyth i ng w ent b lac k .
Someone had p u l led me i nto
w hat I f igured w as
the jan itor’s closet. T he l ights
w ere of f an d I
cou l d n't manage to see w ho
the perpetrator w as.
Fear w as begi n n i ng to w or k its
w ay through m y
bod y as m y heart began to
pou n d lou d l y i nsi de m y
chest.
" H - H e- H el lo...?" I stuttered,
spea k i ng i nto the
b lac k ness.
"Sh h h h h..."
C hapter 4

M y heart rate began to

accelerate faster w ith
each si lent secon d u nti l
su d den l y, w ith a b l i n d i ng
feel i ng, a l ight f l ic k ered on. I
loo k ed arou n d the
room curious as to w here I
w as. T here w as a
b uc k et an d mop i n the corner,
shel ves f u l l of
clean i ng su p p l ies an d a h uge
variety of d i f ferent
si zed brooms. A l l these
ob jects com b i ned on l y
proved m y susp icions correct.
I had, i n fact, been
p u l led i nto the jan itor's closet.
‘ W el l, no w that I’ve f igured
out the ‘ w here,’ it’s
ti me for the ‘ w ho’ an d the
‘ w h y?’’ I thought to
m ysel f as I began to loo k
arou n d.
I turned m y attention to the
shado w y form i n the
corner of the closet. I reached
beh i n d me p ic k i ng
u p the f irst ob ject m y han ds
closed arou n d j ust i n
case th is m ystery person's
p lans w ere u n frien d l y.
T he f irst th i ng m y han ds fel l
u pon w as a bottle of
W i n dex w h ich I deci ded to
aban don because,
honestl y, w hat w as I goi ng to
do w ith W i n dex,
clean h i m to death?
T he next th i ng m y f i ngers
w rap ped arou n d w as a
d uster i n w h ich I actual l y
deci ded to k eep because
it had a good-si zed w ooden
han d le.
" W ho are you?" I deman ded
try i ng to k eep m y
voice even w h i le attem pti ng to
sou n d i nti m i dati ng,
ho w ever, fai l i ng horri b l y.
I w atched as the shado w y
f igure started w al k i ng
to w ard me. I tightened m y
gri p on the d uster,
prepari ng to sw i ng m ighti l y,
b ut then the l ight
sh i ned do w n on h i m,
reveal i ng w ho he w as.
I felt m y han ds open u p as the
d uster fel l to the
grou n d; I stared at D amen i n
d isbel ief. I heard the
d uster h it the f loor an d yet it
sou n ded m i les a w ay,
far of f i n the d istance. A l l m y
fear then
d isap peared an d w as rep laced
b y a state of shoc k .
I stood there u nab le to move,
com p letel y
be w i l dered as to w h y he w as
here or, more
i m portantl y, w h y he had
p u l led me i nto the
closet?
" Loo k ...Stasee, I need to
apologise." H e spo k e
softl y as he too k another step
to w ard me w ith h is
han d hel d out.
T he thought of h i m leav i ng
me alone Saturday
morn i ng f i nal l y snap ped me
out of m y startled
daze. N ot to mention the fact
that he had never
even attem pted to cal l me al l
w ee k en d an d ho w
he left me hangi ng w ith no
exp lanation.
I raised m y right han d an d
slap ped h i m as hard as
I cou l d across the face:
O ne...
T w o...
T hree
ti mes i n q u ic k succession
w h i le tears of
rage an d h u m i l iation b l i n ded
me.
I w atched i n satisfaction as h is
eyes b u lged out of
their soc k ets before he used
h is left han d to ru b
the red w elts on h is chee k .
" I guess I deserved that..." he
rep l ied.
Usi ng m y left han d th is ti me, I
raised it an d w ith
every ou nce of strength I
cou l d su m mon, I
smac k ed h i m hard on the
other chee k . I w atched
as h is head turned to the si de
from the force of
m y slap.
I k no w I may have gone to
craz y-to w n, I mean it's
not l i k e w e w ere dati ng or had
an y com m itment
to w ards each other, m uch less
a relationsh i p.
E ither w ay, an y gu y w ho is
ru de enough to ta k e a
girl's v irgi n ity an d then sk u l k
of f i nto the n ight
w h i le she's sleep i ng, deserves
w hat he gets, i f not
more.
I loo k ed u p at h i m, both h is
chee ks had w elts an d
the m uscles i n h is ja w
p u lsated. It al most loo k ed
as i f he had been stuc k outsi de
i n the m i d d le of
w i nter for an entire day.
" W h y d i d you leave me l i k e
that?" I ask ed angri l y,
" H o w cou l d you do that to
me?!" M y voice gre w
lou der an d angrier b y the
m i n ute.
H e lo w ered h is head i n shame,
stari ng at the
grou n d before he began to
spea k; " I'm sorry
Stasee..." H e began, " It's j ust,
I've... W el l, I’ve
never slept w ith an yone
before."
" T hat is such a l ie! You've
slept w ith lots of girls!"
I w as so f urious that he had
the nerve to stan d
there an d l ie straight to m y
face.
" N o, Stasee I haven't." H e
repeated, "Sure I've
had sex w ith a fe w girls b ut
I've never actual l y
slept i n a bed w ith them.
W hen I w o k e u p i n the
morn i ng w ith m y arms arou n d
you...I frea k ed, I
got scared an d ran a w ay. I
d i d n't k no w w hat else
to do."
" O h yah? A n d you d i d n't even
have the decency
to cal l me?"
" I f igured you d i d n’t w ant to
tal k to me," H e f i nal l y
l i fted h is head an d loo k ed i nto
m y eyes, " I
cou l d n't
get you out of m y head al l
w ee k en d...I j ust had to
see you agai n."
H e reached u p w ith h is han d
as he p laced h is
f i ngers u n der m y ch i n i n an
attem pt to l i ft m y
head u p. T he secon d h is
f i ngers touched m y sk i n,
ti ngles shot through m y bod y
as m y breath i ng
began to q u ic k en. I stared
bac k hard, try i ng to
read h is eyes an d see through
h is l ies, yet al l of
h is bod y language screamed
si ncerity an d
remorse.
H e too k another step closer to
me an d I cou l d feel
h is breath agai nst m y face. H is
han d left m y ch i n
as both of h is arms w rap ped
arou n d m y w aist. M y
stomach began to f l i p arou n d
as I felt m y bod y
heati ng u p.
I w atched h is face i nch closer
to m i ne u nti l I felt
h is l i ps l ightl y brush agai nst
m y o w n, tentati vel y,
as i f ask i ng perm ission. It w as
as i f some sex-
crazed-n y m p homan iac had
then ta k en over m y
bod y. I w rap ped m y arms
hasti l y arou n d h is nec k
an d forced h is bod y hard
agai nst m i ne as our k iss
began to deepen. I felt h is
arms tighten arou n d
m y w aist u nti l both our bod ies
w ere i ntert w i ned
leav i ng no space i n bet w een.
H is han ds began to roam u p
every i nch of m y
bod y w h ich left no p lace
u ntouched. I n that same
moment I b uried m y f i ngers i n
h is hair an d tugged
on the bac k of h is head. M y
bod y w as v i brati ng i n
the satisfaction of h is touch;
never had I i magi ned
someth i ng that cou l d feel so
i n def i nab l y p leasi ng.
F i nal l y, I p u l led m y arms bac k
as I rested them on
h is chest an d, w ith al l m y
strength; I p ushed h i m
a w ay forcef u l l y, nearl y
causi ng h i m to tu m b le
over. H e caught h is balance
j ust i n ti me to loo k u p
at me as I reached do w n to the
bottom of m y
sw eater an d p u l led it u p over
m y head. H is eyes
narro w ed before l ighten i ng u p
i n excitement. H e
then p u l led of f h is sh irt an d
revealed h is perfect
ri p p l i ng eight-pac k .
H e q u ic k l y came bac k to me as
he began ri p p i ng
of f m y sh irt an d then m y bra;
leav i ng both of our
torsos com p letel y na k ed. H e
began to feel u p m y
bod y agai n, on l y th is ti me,
w ith h is l i ps. A n
u n bearab le sensation
exp loded through m y bod y
as m y patience seemed to be
hol d i ng on b y barel y
a thread. I cou l d n't han d le the
forep lay for even
one more secon d as the
i nef fab le memory of last
ti me conti n ued to f lash across
m y m i n d.
I w as j ust i n the process of
u n b utton i ng h is jeans
w hen he froze.
" W hat-are-you-" I tried to
spea k bet w een gasps
b ut h is han d covered m y
mouth q u ic k l y forci ng me
i nto si lence.
T hat's w hen I heard the k eys
j i ngl i ng on the other
si de
of the door. I p ushed D amen
out of the w ay
as I reached to the f loor i n
attem pt to grab m y
clothes. D amen d i d the same
as w e both
conti n ued bangi ng i nto each
other an d the
shel ves; k noc k i ng over
brooms an d mops an d
sp i l l i ng bottles of clean i ng
su p p l ies. A l l i n an
attem pt to q u ic k l y p ut our
clothes bac k on.
" W ho’s i n there?!" I heard an
ol d, scratch y voice
yel l through the door. T he
sou n d of a dead bolt
cl ic k i ng open reached m y ears
the same secon d I
p u l led m y sw eater on an d fel l
to m y bottom w ith a
crash.
T he door sw u ng open
exposi ng M r. G ergosh, the
school jan itor. H e w as tal l an d
bon y an d probab l y
i n h is sixties. H e had a shag of
w h ite hair w ith a
long match i ng beard an d k i n d
of resem b led a
real l y sk i n n y Santa C laus.
H e loo k ed at D amen w ho w as
stan d i ng b y the
shel ves f u l l y dressed w ith a
l ittle sm ir k on h is
face. T hen, he turned h is
glance do w n to me (w ho
w as sitti ng i n a pool of sp i l led
cleaners, hair i n a
tangled mess on m y head an d
m y sw eater i nsi de
out!).
" O h you k i ds!" M r G ergosh
sai d, shooi ng us out of
the closet. " You craz y k i ds,
w ith al l your
hormones goi ng n utty i nsi de
you. You’re al w ays
ru n n i ng arou n d f i n d i ng l ittle
h i d i ng spots to
smooch together." H is voice
w as scratch y as i f
he'd been smo k i ng al l h is l i fe.
I got u p of f the f loor, i nstantl y
real i z i ng m y b utt
w as soa k ed from the cleaners
that had been
k noc k ed over. W e managed to
w al k out of the
closet w ith some d ign ity, both
of us hol d i ng i n our
laughter.
" T h is is m y closet, i f you w ant
to
go...go...smooch i ng each other,
then go f i n d some
other p lace." H e conti n ued to
tal k , " O ut, O ut!"
T he secon d me an d D amen
w ere out of the closet
w e began to ru n do w n the
deserted hal l w ays.
E veryone w as either sti l l i n the
cafeteria or
outsi de bask i ng i n the su n. I
cou l d hear M r.
G ergosh m u m b l i ng someth i ng
about k i ds these
days an d sex before marriage.
O nce D amen an d I w ere out of
M r. G ergosh's sight
w e leaned agai nst the w al l an d
began eru pti ng i n
laughter. I sl i d do w n the
loc k er beh i n d me an d fel l
to the f loor as he d i d the same.
" D -d i d You-" D amen tried
spea k i ng bet w een h is
laughter. " D i d you s-see M r.
G ergosh's fa-face!"
M y laughter rose h igher as the
i mage of M r.
G ergosh's expression ran
through m y m i n d. H e
loo k ed com p letel y shoc k ed
an d even a b it
d isgusted.
" Yah-" I tried tal k i ng th is ti me.
I w as laugh i ng so
hard that I had to p ut m y han d
on D amen's
shou l der to try an d k eep
m ysel f balanced. " Loo k
a-at m y b u-b utt!" I laughed, " I
fe-fel l i n the p u-
p u d d le!" D amen's laugh then
roared lou der, "an d
m-m y sw e-sw eater is on i nsi de
ou-out!"
" E w w w!" A girl’s voice
i nterru pted our laughter.
I loo k ed u p an d sa w C an d ise
glari ng do w n at us
w ith T i f fan y on her left si de
an d on her right w as
Jessica. T he trio of M al i b u
Barb ies stared at me i n
d isgust. T heir faces scru nched
u p, marri ng their
features an d their perfectl y
ap p l ied ma k eu p.
C an d ise conti n ued spea k i ng,
" D amen, w hat are
you doi ng?"
D amen j u m ped u p to h is feet
as h is face f l ushed
red. It w as al most as i f he w as
em barrassed to be
seen w ith me.
I felt m y heart si n k .
" N oth i ng!" he sai d w h i le not
even glanci ng m y
w ay, " W o w , its class ti me
alread y. I shou l d
probab l y go!" W ithout so
m uch as a pee k over at
me, he ran do w n the hal l an d
left me sitti ng there
al l b y m ysel f.
T he moment D amen had
d isap peared arou n d a
corner, C an d ise crouched
do w n closer to me an d
began to spea k agai n w ith so
m uch venom i n her
voice; " Loo k girl, I don't care i f
you’re T rent's l ittle
sister or not, D amen is m i ne so
you'd better stay
a w ay from h i m!"
" H e's not yours!" Both T i f fan y
an d Jessica sai d i n
u n ison.
" Excuse me!" C an d ise sai d
turn i ng her attention to
them, " D i d you not see the
w ay he com p letel y
ignored you t w o at the party?
G i ve it u p alread y!"
W ith that, she tossed her mane
i n the air an d
began to w al k do w n the
hal l w ay. T i f fan y an d
Jessica stood there for a
secon d, stari ng b lan k l y at
the
w al l, before turn i ng arou n d
an d ru n n i ng after
her.
T hat left me sitti ng on the
f loor soa k i ng w et,
feel i ng com p letel y
em barrassed an d ashamed b y
m y stu p i d ity an d, once agai n,
alone.

C hapter 5

T he su n w as setti ng as I stared
out m y bedroom
w i n do w . T he sk y w as a
breathta k i ngl y beauti f u l
shade of p i n k as the su n faded
out of sight on the
hori zon. I let a lou d sigh
escape m y l i ps as I
thought about m y day at
school. I sti l l cou l d n't
deci p her the m ixed signals
D amen had been
sen d i ng me. M ay be there w as
a man code to crac k
to u n derstan d th is ty pe of
behav iour?
A fter the l ittle i nci dent i n the
jan itor's closet an d
the verbal w arn i ng from the
b itch sq uad, I had n't
seen D amen for the rest of the
day. H e tried to
tel l me he l i k ed me an d
den ied T i f fan y an d
Jessica's sed ucti ve ad vances;
i n d icati ng I w as
more than j ust a con q uest. B ut
then, j ust w hen I
thought may be someth i ng
cou l d hap pen bet w een
us, he turned arou n d an d
proved me w rong once
agai n.
I w al k ed over to m y bed an d
f lop ped do w n w ith
frustration. E ver si nce Fri day
n ight, I cou l d n't
seem to get th is stu p i d boy out
of m y head. I
mean, sure, he too k m y
v irgi n ity a w ay, b ut that
sti l l d i d not reserve h i m a spot
i n m y heart! A n y
gu y w ho cou l d treat a girl w ith
such d isrespect
deserves noth i ng more than to
be p u nched right i n
the face.
'T I C K '
T he sou n d of someth i ng hard
h itti ng glass
i nterru pted m y thoughts as I
rol led m y head to
the si de an d loo k ed at noth i ng
b ut the n ight sk y
through m y w i n do w . M ust of
j ust been m y
i magi nation, I thought to
m ysel f as I w ent bac k to
stari ng u p at the cei l i ng;
w i l l i ng the answ ers to be
w ritten there or pray i ng for a
d i v i ne i ntervention.
'T I C K '
T he sou n d came agai n,
causi ng me to spri ng u p
i nto a sitti ng position. I stared
out m y w i n do w as i f
expecti ng to see someth i ng.
B ut, fran k l y, I w as on
the secon d f loor so w hat w as I
i nten d i ng to see? A
b l i n d w ood pec k er, w ho
cou l d n't tel l the d i f ference
bet w een glass an d w ood,
perched on m y w i n do w
si l l ch i p p i ng a w ay at the
glass? Yah, I h igh l y dou bt
it!
A t that precise moment, the
sou n d came agai n for
a th ird ti me.
'T I C K '
O n l y th is ti me, I had managed
to see w hat w as
causi ng it as I w atched a l ittle
peb b le h it m y
w i n do w before grav ity had
ta k en over an d forced
it bac k do w n to the grou n d. I
sat on m y bed
com p letel y d u m b fou n ded,
stari ng outsi de w ith
narro w ed eyes. It too k a forth
peb b le to tap
agai nst the glass; jarri ng me
from m y con f used
trance.
I j u m ped to m y feet an d ran
to w ard the w i n do w ,
not exactl y sure w hat I w as
loo k i ng for. A t f irst,
for no particu lar reason, I
loo k ed u p to the dar k
n ight sk y w h ich w as covered
i n bright stars.
E ventual l y, m y eyes fou n d
their w ay to the
grou n d, deci d i ng peb b les'
fal l i ng from the sk y w as
may be a l ittle too farfetched.
It too k a cou p le of secon ds for
m y eyes to ad j ust
to the dar k ness, w h i le slo w l y I
began to see the
outl i nes of everyth i ng i n the
yard. I cou l d see
every tree, b ush, veh icle,
person, f lo w er-
W ait! Bac k it u p a secon d! I
thought to m ysel f, A
person?! W hat is a person
doi ng i n m y bac k yard?
I loo k ed do w n agai n, O h. M y.
G od! T hey're stari ng
u p at me!
I forced m ysel f to cal m do w n
w h i le try i ng to
con v i nce m ysel f it w as
probab l y one of m y
brother's frien ds. T hey, most
l i k el y, d i d n't k no w
that T rent an d I had sw itched
rooms a fe w w ee ks
ago. I concentrated harder on
the outl i ne of the
tal l, w i de bei ng before
real i z i ng right a w ay w ho it
w as.
D amen? I stared do w n at h i m
w ith a w i de-eyed
gaze.
M y heart sk i p ped a beat as I
gazed do w n at h i m
l ustf u l l y. A lthough I w anted
so bad l y to hate h i m
an d w ished so deep l y that he
d i d n't have th is
po w er over me, it w as
i m possi b le. N o matter w hat
I w anted, or w hat I w ished,
every ti me I sa w h i m
he al w ays managed to leave
me breath less an d
w anti ng h i m.
I shoo k that feel i ng of f as I
consi dered m y
options. M y f irst thought w as
to sh ut m y bedroom
l ight of f an d go h i de i n m y
bed, u n der the covers
u nti l he gave u p an d left. I
w ou l d have done it too
i f it w eren't for the fact that he
had alread y seen
me an d w as w av i ng f iercel y
l i k e a caf fei ne-crazed
crac k head. Pl us, I had a fe w
not-so-n ice w ords I
w anted to con front h i m w ith.
I opened m y bedroom w i n do w
an d stuc k m y head
out as I began to w h isper
lou d l y do w n to h i m.
" W hat do you w ant?!"
" C ome do w n here!" H e
w h ispered bac k .
" W h y?!"
" Because I need to tal k to you!"
" W el l w hat i f I don't w ant to
tal k to you?"
"Please j ust let me exp lai n!"
H e w as loo k i ng u p at
me w ith p lead i ng eyes.
I f it had been an y other gu y, or
i f the past cou p le
days had n't hap pened, I
probab l y w ou l d n't have
even w ent to m y w i n do w i n
the f irst p lace. A n d I
def i n itel y w ou l d never even
th i n k about doi ng
w hat I w as j ust about to do.
Except it w asn't j ust
an y other gu y, it w as D amen.
A n d the past cou p le
days had hap pened. Pl us, as
m uch as I hated to
ad m it, I cou l d n't say no
because D amen alread y
had me w rap ped arou n d h is
f i nger; read y to
p ursue an y w ish he
com man ded.
I rol led m y eyes before
stic k i ng m y han d out an d
poi nti ng m y i n dex f i nger at
h i m i n such a w ay of
say i ng, 'one secon d'. I loo k ed
u p at the large tree
w h ich to w ered over our house.
I w on dered ho w
m y brother managed to scale it
i n order to snea k
out on cou ntless occasions.
T h is tree w as actual l y
the reason as to w h y T rent an d
I w ere forced to
sw itch rooms i n the f irst p lace.
M y brother repeated l y sn uc k
out of the house
usi ng the tree an d ran of f to
parties an d other
forb i d den p laces, accord i ng to
m y parents. T hey
had deci ded that the room
w ith the latter-l i k e-
tree w ou l d be better su ited for
me, seei ng as I
w as a loner an y w ays.
W here w as I goi ng to ru n of f
to, the l i brary? O r
out for a m i d n ight sl urpee?
I sa w a branch that w as on l y
i nches a w ay from
the left si de of m y w i n do w
an d deci ded that w ou l d
probab l y be the easiest escape
route. I cl i m bed
out m y w i n do w an d cra w led
onto the branch,
f i n d i ng m y w ay to the bottom
of the tree w ith
ease. I w as about three feet
from the grou n d
w hen I felt D amen's arms
grasp m y w aist. M y
stomach f l uttered the same
w ay it al w ays d i d
w hen he touched me an d m y
heart sped u p. H e
l i fted me u p i n the air an d
then p laced me gentl y
on m y feet. I sti l l stu m b led a
l ittle b it, b ut that
w as because m y k nees had
gone w ea k an d
ru b bery from bei ng near h i m.
T he secon d I caught m y
balance I turned arou n d
to face h i m, anger from th is
afternoon sti l l
l i ngeri ng i nsi de me.
Su d den l y, w ithout an y secon d
thoughts, I p ushed h i m hard
i n the chest w ith
every ou nce of strength that I
had. H e m ust have
been expecti ng it because,
even w ith al l the
strength I had i n me, he had
barel y even f l i nched.
I tried agai n an d agai n, an d
then one more ti me.
Each ti me I got the same
resu lt, w h ich w as
noth i ng! A hal f sm ir k had
ta k en over D amen's
face as he w atched me i n
am usement. I h u f fed
lou d l y as I f i nal l y gave u p. I
fol ded m y arms
agai nst m y chest an d glared at
h i m.
T he sm ir k f i nal l y faded from
h is face as he too k a
step closer to me.
" Loo k Stasee-"
I cut h i m of f before he cou l d
go an y farther, "Stop
D amen! Just stop."
" B ut-" he tried agai n.
" B ut noth i ng!" T o m y surprise
m y voice w as stern,
" You d i d it to me agai n! You
j ust left me sitti ng
there; you left me w ith those
b itches!"
" I k no w ...an d I'm-"
"Sorry?" I ask ed. " You're
al w ays sorry, w el l guess
w hat D amen! Sorry's mean
noth i ng i f you don't
actual l y mean them!"
I w atched h is eyes lo w er from
loo k i ng at me to
stari ng at the grou n d. H e
occu p ied h is han ds b y
p lay i ng w ith the hem of h is
sh irt. I had so man y
other th i ngs I w anted to say to
h i m. I w anted to
k eep yel l i ng at h i m an d tel l i ng
h i m exactl y ho w al l
of that made me feel. I w anted
to so bad l y, b ut as
I stood there w atch i ng h i m a
k not had formed i n
m y stomach an d al l I w anted
to do w as com fort
h i m.
W ait! I shoo k m y head,
con f used b y m y o w n
thoughts. C om fort h i m?
H e w as the one w ho w as
su p posed to be
com forti ng me an d yet there I
w as, near secon ds
a w ay from apologi z i ng to h i m.
Seriousl y, ho w d i d
he manage to turn al l th is
arou n d on me an d ma k e
me feel l i k e the bad gu y?
I w al k ed u p to h i m an d p laced
m y han d on h is
shou l der as I w atched h is head
sl ightl y l i ft u p. W e
both j ust stood there; stari ng
i nto each other's
eyes. W e stayed l i k e that for a
w h i le u nti l D amen
f i nal l y bro k e the si lence.
" Loo k Stasee, I k no w I messed
u p..." he sai d
before ad d i ng, " A gai n. B ut I
w ant to ma k e it u p to
you an d that's w h y I came
here."
" O h yah?" I removed m y han d
from h is shou l der,
once agai n fol d i ng m y arms.
" A n d ho w do you p lan
on doi ng that?"
" It's a surprise..."
C hapter 6

" D on't pee k!" H e sai d for the

h u n dredth ti me.
" I'm not..." I w h i ned. E ven i f I
attem pted to open
m y eyes I cou l d n't see
an yth i ng, there w as a
b l i n d fol d coveri ng them.
" H o w m uch longer?" I
ask ed. I w as starti ng to get a
l ittle i m patient.
" N ot m uch farther, j ust k eep
w al k i ng."
" It's k i n d of hard to stop w hen
you're pretty m uch
draggi ng me beh i n d you!"
A bout an hour earl ier...
W hen I f i nal l y gave i n to
D amen, w e got i nto h is
2009 G M C truc k an d he p ut a
b l i n d fol d over m y
eyes before w e drove a w ay
from m y house. W el l
not exactl y m y house, seei ng
as he par k ed a b loc k
a w ay i n an attem pt to k eep m y
parents ob l i v ious
to h i m com i ng over an d
k i d nap p i ng me i n the
m i d d le of the n ight. M y
parents w ere never
arou n d an d yet the one n ight
they d i d come
home, D amen had deci ded to
sho w u p at m y
house. A lthough, I h igh l y
dou bt they w ou l d even
notice m y d isap pearance
because, even though
they w ere home at the
moment, they w ere sti l l
com p letel y caught u p i n w or k .
W e drove for about hal f an
hour before w e f i nal l y
came to a stop. I l istened to
h i m as he got out of
the truc k an d came over to m y
si de; hel p i ng me
do w n to the grou n d. N o w , for
the past t w enty
m i n utes w e have been
w al k i ng along a trai l an d u p
a h i l l. W el l, I f igured so
an y w ays because that's
w hat it felt l i k e; I cou l d tel l w e
w ere w al k i ng u p a
h i l l an d I cou l d also feel the
d irt u n der m y shoes.
D amen's f i ngers w ere
w rap ped arou n d m i ne w h i le
h is other arm w as w rap ped
arou n d m y w aist;
hel p i ng me to dodge al l of the
obstacles i n our
path. I w as sti l l so frustrated
w ith h i m because he
d i d n't on l y leave me once...b ut
t w ice an d yet it
w as i m possi b le to stay mad at
h i m for a long
period. B y rights, I shou l d
have been cal lous w ith
h i m an d h is ran dom mood
sw i ngs.
" O k ay, no w stop here." H e
i nterru pted m y
thoughts. " A n d w hatever you
do, don't move!" H is
voice
w as so urgent an d so serious
that I k ne w it
w asn't a good i dea to even
th i n k about mov i ng.
I heard the sou n d of
someth i ng sol i d h itti ng the
grou n d on a lo w er level than
w here I w as
stan d i ng.
" D amen!?" I hel d m y breath.
" I'm f i ne," he ch uc k led;
although h is voice came
from some w here belo w me. " I
had to j u m p an d I
d i d n't th i n k m y feet h itti ng
the grou n d w ere goi ng
to be so lou d." I felt h is arms
w rap arou n d m y
w aist as he l i fted me i nto the
air. I sti l l cou l d n't
see an yth i ng b ut the b lac k ness
of the b l i n d fol d
an d it suc k ed! I mean, d i d he
honestl y f i n d it
necessary to b l i n d fol d me? I
hated not bei ng ab le
to see.
I felt m y feet begi n to touch
the grou n d as D amen
turned m y bod y arou n d so
that he w as stan d i ng
beh i n d me. H is arms w ere sti l l
tightl y w rap ped
arou n d m y h i ps an d m y w aist.
I felt h is breath on
m y nec k w h ich sent a sh i ver
u p m y sp i ne. H e
began to w h isper l ightl y i nto
m y ear as the
sh i vers escalated throughout
m y entire bod y.
" O k ay Stasee..." he began,
" Before I sho w you
th is, you have to prom ise not
to tel l an yone about
it."
I tried to spea k , b ut w hen I
opened m y mouth no
w ords came out so i nstead I
j ust nod ded. H e w as
sti l l breath i ng agai nst m y
nec k , ma k i ng it
i m possi b le to pay attention to
an yth i ng else other
than the w ay it w as ma k i ng
m y bod y feel. I cou l d
feel h is breath i nch i ng closer
to m y nec k before
h is l i ps pressed gentl y agai nst
m y sk i n. F ire w or ks
i nstantl y eru pted i nsi de m y
head.
A soft moan escaped m y l i ps
as he conti n ued to
k iss m y nec k . I felt h i m
remove h is arms from
arou n d m y stomach as they
made their w ay u p to
the bac k of m y head. H e
p ursued w ith h is mouth,
graz i ng h is l i ps agai nst m y
nec k w h i le h is f i ngers
u ntied the b l i n d fol d.
I can't tel l you the precise
moment the b l i n d fol d
fel l of f m y face because, even
after it w as gone,
m y eyes stayed closed. I w as
so caught u p w ith
the w ay D amen's l i ps f i l led
m y bod y w ith p leasure
that I no longer cared about
the surprise. I turned
arou n d to face h i m as m y arms
w rap ped arou n d
h is nec k . H is arms then
sna k ed arou n d m y w aist
an d h is han ds rested on m y
beh i n d.
H e glanced over m y head at
w hat, I'm assu m i ng,
w as the surprise he brought
me here for.
" A ren't you goi ng to loo k?" H e
w h ispered to me,
stari ng do w n i nto m y eyes.
" N o...I don't care...I j ust w ant
to-" I stop ped
tal k i ng as I stared u p at h is
f u l l set of perfect l ush
l i ps. H e p u l led me hard
agai nst h is bod y as i f
k no w i ng exactl y w hat I w as
about to say. I
tightened m y arms arou n d h is
nec k an d our l i ps
con nected f iercel y. W e stayed
em braced l i k e th is
for a w h i le, although it sti l l felt
too short before he
p u l led
a w ay. I groaned i n protest,
try i ng to p u l l
h i m bac k to me, b ut he
seemed pretty content on
that bei ng the en d of the k iss.
"Stasee, j ust turn arou n d an d
loo k ." H e begged.
I sighed lou d l y, not w anti ng
the k issi ng to en d an d
def i n itel y not cari ng w hat it
w as he w anted me to
see so bad l y. I rol led m y eyes
at h i m before f i nal l y
turn i ng arou n d. I froze the
secon d I loo k ed arou n d
at the i ncred i b le, stu n n i ng
sight before me.
W e w ere stan d i ng h igh, h igh
u p on the cl i f f of a
h uge h i l l, stari ng do w n at the
T o w n of M cLen nan.
W e w ere so h igh u p;
M cLen nan loo k ed l i k e
noth i ng
more than a city for Pol l y
Poc k ets. T he moon w as
sh i n i ng brightl y, ref lecti ng of f
the ocean that
surrou n ded the smal l to w n.
T he most aston ish i ng
th i ng about it al l w as the stars.
Bei ng so far a w ay
from to w n, so far from
ci v i l i zation, the stars
shone so brightl y that w e
d i d n't even need an y
sort of l ight source to see each
other. It w as
magical.
I felt D amen's shou l der ru b
agai nst m i ne as he
came to stan d besi de me. I
stood sti l l, stari ng out
at the beauti f u l sight before
us.
" W hat do you th i n k?" H e
ask ed.
" H o w ... H o w d i d you f i n d th is
p lace?"
" I w ent for a h i k e one day an d
stu m b led across it,
I come here a lot...You k no w ,
to th i n k an d w hat
not. It's k i n d of l i k e m y secret
p lace, that I w anted
to... U m...share w ith you." H e
spo k e l ightl y.
I d i d n't rep l y to h i m, there w as
no need to. I k ne w
he cou l d tel l exactl y w hat I
w as th i n k i ng j ust b y
the loo k on m y face. I w as
stu n ned speech less as I
peered
out i nto the beauti f u l n ight
sk y, k no w i ng
noth i ng i n the w orl d w ou l d
ever com pare to th is
moment; th is exact moment i n
ti me.
I loo k ed do w n an d sa w a b ig
f l u f f y b lan k et that
w as lai d on the grou n d an d
besi de it w as a smal l
stereo.
" W hat are you p lan n i ng to
hap pen here?" I loo k ed
u p w ard from the l ittle set u p
an d eyed h i m
curiousl y.
" You k no w , j ust a l ittle
romantic geta w ay..." H e
sm i led as he w al k ed over to
the Stereo an d turned
it on. A song that I i nstantl y
recogn i zed began
p lay i ng out of the spea k ers.
'T he Fear You W on't
Fal l' b y Josh Rad i n.
T he soft l yrics echoed through
m y ears as I stared
at
h i m i n shoc k , 'th is w as one of
m y favourite
songs, ho w d i d he k no w?'
H e w al k ed over to me,
of feri ng me h is han d.
" W ou l d you l i k e to dance, m y
lad y?" H e fa k ed an
E ngl ish accent try i ng to sou n d
l i k e a man from the
1800's.
" I...I don't k no w ho w to..." I
ad m itted.
" I'l l teach you." H e sai d as he
w rap ped h is arms
arou n d m y w aist an d p u l led
me agai nst the
hard ness of h is bod y. I then
w rap ped m y arms
arou n d h is nec k as he p u l led
me i n even closer. I
rested m y head agai nst h is
chest an d w e began to
sw ay bac k an d forth, slo w l y,
to the beat of the
song.
"So, am I forgi ven yet?"
D amen w h ispered i n m y
ear as w e conti n ued to dance.
" You're getti ng there." I l ied,
k no w i ng i n m y heart
I had forgi ven h i m the
moment he came to m y
w i n do w ton ight.
D amen bent do w n an d
pressed h is l i ps agai nst
m i ne as the song came to an
en d. W e en ded u p
mov i ng over to the b lan k et
an d l y i ng do w n. T he
rest of the n ight w e sat there
stari ng u p at the
sk y an d tal k i ng. Just tal k i ng!
W e tal k ed about
everyth i ng; from our fam i l ies
to boo ks to past
memories. W eird l y enough,
w e had a lot i n
com mon; from m usic
preferences to d i f ferent
novels w e've read.
" W hat?! D amen H urtz reads
com ics?!" I al most
yel led as I eru pted i nto
laughter.
" W hat's the b ig deal? You j ust
ad m itted to read i ng
them too!" H e loo k ed i nsu lted.
" Yah, b ut that's me. I mean, it's
expected from
me." I laughed lou der.
" W hatever, you're j ust mad
because Su perman
cou l d ta k e Batman an y day."
H e fol ded h is arms
across h is chest as he loo k ed
over at me.
" You w ish! H onestl y, ho w
man y ti mes has Batman
k ic k ed Su perman's ass?!"
" Yah... O n l y w hen Batman uses
K ry pton ite an d
that's pretty m uch cheati ng!"
" W el l w hat is Batman su p pose
to use? H e is on l y
h u man after al l." I stated as I
loo k ed u p i nto the
sk y f i nal l y real i z i ng that the
su n w as begi n n i ng to
rise. I j u m ped u p i nto a sitti ng
position.
D amen q u ic k l y turned to loo k
over at me w ith
w orried eyes. " W hat's
w rong?!" H e ask ed.
"I
need to get home...L i k e no w!
M y parents are
goi ng to k i l l me i f they notice
I'm not home!" I
q u ic k l y got u p of f the grou n d.
D amen
m uttered, 'crap,' u n der h is
breath as he
gathered everyth i ng u p of f the
grou n d before w e
scurried of f the cl i f f an d do w n
the h i l l.
We
managed to ma k e it to m y
house w ith i n
t w enty m i n utes th is ti me. I
turned to w ard D amen
an d q u ic k l y gave h i m a pec k
on the chee k . I w as
j ust about to ru n of f w hen he
grab bed m y arm
an d p u l led me bac k to w ard
h i m. O ur l i ps con nected
an d
at f irst I d i d n't k iss h i m bac k ,
b ut soon h is
k isses became more urgent.
O ur l i ps began to
move i n u n ison as I grab bed
h is sh irt an d p u l led
h i m closer to me, deepen i ng
the k iss. A cou p le of
secon ds later I p ushed h i m
a w ay an d m y breath
came i n short, shal lo w gasps
as I ran of f to w ard
m y house. I q u ic k l y cl i m bed
bac k u p the tree an d
stu m b led i nto m y bedroom.
Rel ief w ashed over me
w hen
I noticed m y door w as sti l l
sh ut, i n d icati ng
m y parents had n't come
loo k i ng for me yet.
I
f lop ped do w n on m y bed,
breath i ng deep l y as I
thought about m y com p letel y
perfect n ight w ith
D amen.

C hapter 7

T he l u nch bel l rang,

a w a k en i ng me from m y
dream less sleep. I w as never
one for sleep i ng i n
class, even as m uch as I
d isl i k ed h istory I w ou l d
never ta k e ad vantage of a
chance to learn
someth i ng ne w . T hough, as
hard an d
u ncom fortab le as m y seat an d
desk w ere, I
cou l d n't manage to k eep m y
eyes open or m y
head of f the desk as I slept al l
the w ay through
H istory class. I guess I have
nobod y to b lame, b ut
m ysel f, it w asn't exactl y smart
of me to stay u p
al l n ight w ith D amen on the
cl i f f an d then go to
school w ithout the ti n iest b it
of sleep. I probab l y
cou l d have fa k ed sic k an d
slept hal f the day a w ay,
b ut I
w as far too excited to go bac k
to school an d
see D amen.
T he on l y prob lem w as that it
w as nearl y l u nch
ti me an d I sti l l had n't seen
h i m once. A lthough
that is u n derstan dab le, seei ng
as he is a sen ior
an d none of our classes are
remotel y the same. I
p u l led m ysel f out of m y desk
before stretch i ng m y
arms u p h igh i n the air an d
ya w n i ng. I grab bed m y
boo ks of f m y desk as I headed
for the door; try i ng
to ma k e a q u ic k exit.
O b v iousl y, I w asn't fast
enough as M r. C al non came to
stan d i n front of me
an d b loc k ed m y path.
" M iss Rai n ie," he fol ded h is
arms across h is chest,
loo k i ng at me w ith
i m patience. " D i d m y class bore
you?"
" O h, no M r. C al non. N ot at
al l." I l ied, " I j ust, w el l,
I'm j ust a l ittle b it tired today
an d I apologi ze for
that. I prom ise it w on't hap pen
agai n."
" V ery w el l," he rep l ied. " D on't
let it hap pen agai n
because I w i l l not tolerate that
k i n d of behav iour
i n m y class. You are excused."
H e w aved h is han d
d ism issi vel y.
I ran out the door before he
cou l d change h is m i n d
an d
sen d me to detention. I w ent
to m y loc k er to
drop of f m y boo ks. I deci ded I
w as goi ng to do a
l ittle tour arou n d the school i n
search of D amen. It
too k
a w h i le, b ut I f i nal l y fou n d
h i m stan d i ng
outsi de the front entrance of
the school. H e w as
stan d i ng u n der a tree tal k i ng
to K ev i n an d C an d ise.
T i f fan y an d Jessica w ere l y i ng
on the grass,
soa k i ng u p the su n.
T he b utterf l ies i n m y stomach
f l uttered as m y
eyes fel l on h i m; h is perfect
lean bod y w as
stan d i ng u p w ith such straight
posture. H is dar k
bro w n hair w as a perfect mess
on top of h is head
an d h is dar k bro w n eyes
loo k ed al most b lac k from
so far a w ay. H e also w ore that
sexy hal f sm ir k on
h is face. T he k i n d that made a
person loo k stuc k
u p an d yet it cou l d melt an y
girl's heart; th is girl's
heart.
A l l morn i ng I cou l d n't stop
th i n k i ng about ho w
extraord i nari l y f la w less m y
n ight had been. E very
l ittle detai l about the n ight
w as beyon d perfect. It
w as l i k e a l ittle fairy tale
com i ng true i n m y o w n
l i fe. T he han dsome pri nce an d
the poor lonel y girl,
f i nal l y brea k i ng out of her
shel l, as their love for
each other conti n uousl y gre w
stronger. I cou l d n't
w ait to p icture m y hap p i l y
ever after!
I loo k ed bac k u p at D amen as
m y sm i le gre w
w i der. I had never felt so
hap p y i n m y l i fe,
actual l y feel i ng l i k e I
belonged some w here an d
that someone cared about me.
I began to w ave at
D amen as I conti n ued to w al k
to w ard h i m w h i le
w on deri ng ho w he had n't
noticed me yet.
I narro w ed m y eyes as I
w atched D amen's pearl-
w h ite sm i le van ish from h is
face as h is eyes fel l
u pon me. R ight a w ay he
turned h is gaze a w ay,
loo k i ng bac k at h is frien ds
an d try i ng to preten d
l i k e he had n't seen me.
I w as on l y a fe w feet a w ay
from them w hen I
froze on the spot, stari ng at
D amen i n utter
d isbel ief.
' A fter everyth i ng that
hap pened last n ight, after
me forgi v i ng h i m for the
secon d ti me, he w as
doi ng th is agai n?' I tried to
com prehen d the
i l logical ity of the situation,
' H e w as honestl y goi ng
to act as i f noth i ng hap pened?'
I felt a sharp pai n i n the
bottom of m y gut as m y
w hole bod y began to heat u p,
I cou l d honestl y feel
sw eat begi n to rise out of m y
pores. I stood there,
stari ng at them w h i le hol d i ng
m y breath. W el l, not
exactl y hol d i ng m y breath, it
w as more l i k e I
cou l d n't breathe altogether.
" H ey D u de... W h y is T rent's
l ittle sister sm i l i ng an d
w av i ng at you?" I heard K ev i n
ask D amen. I w as
sti l l frozen motion less;
w atch i ng an d l isten i ng to
them.
" D u de, she has some mad
crush on me or
someth i ng...It's k i n d of cute..."
D amen l ied, try i ng
to laugh it of f.
" M ore l i k e creep y!" C an d ise
cut i n an d turned
to w ard me, shooti ng darts at
me w ith her eyes. " I
mean loo k at her, stari ng at us
l i k e that... C reep y!"
She sai d as she w rap ped her
arms arou n d
D amen's nec k an d p u l led h i m
closer to her. " T oo
bad for her though...you're
m i ne!" She exclai med
as she pressed her l i ps agai nst
D amen's.
T hat's w hen I f i nal l y turned
m y head a w ay. I
cou l d n't bear to see an y more
of th is le w d d isp lay!
It w as w eird ho w one secon d
you cou l d be the
hap p iest person i n the w orl d
an d then i n that
exact secon d you cou l d feel
the com p lete
op posite. I felt l i k e a crash i ng
bal l had came f l y i ng
do w n at me, smash i ng me i nto
ti n y b its an d
p ieces. I al w ays thought
p h ysical pai n w as bad;
l i k e it h urt, it real l y d i d...B ut
p h ysical pai n w as
noth i ng com pared to th is. I
cou l d n't breathe, m y
chest w as b urn i ng an d m y
stomach w as clench i ng
an d causi ng me so m uch pai n.
I began to repeat the same f i ve
w ords i n m y head,
'I'm N ot goi ng to cry...'
'I'm N ot goi ng to cry...'
'I'm N ot G oi ng..........'
B ut, I fai led as I w atched al l
m y surrou n d i ngs
begi n to gro w b l urry w h i le m y
eyes f i l led u p w ith
w ater. I heard C an d ise,
T i f fan y an d Jessica's
laughter beh i n d me as I began
to ru n a w ay.
W aterfal ls of hot angry tears
rol led do w n m y
chee ks, ma k i ng it i m possi b le
to see an yth i ng. I felt
like
I w as goi ng to pass out from
the lac k of
oxygen. I cou l d n't breathe, b ut
I conti n ued to ru n
an y w ay. I w as j ust about to
reach the steps that
headed u p to the school as I
clenched m y ja w
sh ut, try i ng to force m y cries
do w n. I k ne w I
cou l d n't stop the tears from
f lo w i ng b ut I w asn't
goi ng to let the lou d sobs
escape m y l i ps; not yet
at least. N ot u nti l I w as h i d den
some w here a w ay
from everyone else.
I felt m y left foot h it the bac k
of m y right heel as
I tu m b le to the grou n d; m y
k nee's sl i d i ng across
the hard concrete w al k w ay. I
cou l d feel the
concrete ri p p i ng through m y
jeans before peal i ng
the sk i n of f of m y k nees. A t
that moment, I
shouted a lou d cry of pai n
from the fal l, the
em barrassment, the betrayal
an d, u lti matel y, the
heartache.
I felt someone's arms w rap
arou n d m y w aist
before p u l l i ng me u p to m y
feet.
" A re you o k ay, Stasee?" A
deep, sexy voice came
from the person beh i n d me. A
voice I had never
heard before an d yet it made
me forget al l of m y
prob lems for that m i l l isecon d.
I turned arou n d to
face h i m an d, even though he
w as j ust a b l urred
i mage, I k ne w I d i d n't
recogn i ze h i m. M y w ou l d-be
sav iour had short bro w n curl y
hair w ith sensiti ve
dar k bro w n eyes. H e had a
sq uare set ja w an d h is
face w as com p letel y clean cut.
H e w asn't
an y w here near as m uscu lar as
D amen; I cou l d tel l
he w asn't real l y i nto sports
an d j ust one of those
natural l y sk i n n y gu ys w ith a
l ittle m uscle tone.
T ears w ere sti l l f lo w i ng out of
m y eyes, w h ich
on l y made me that m uch more
em barrassed. I
cou l d feel b lood ooz i ng out of
m y k nees as I turned
q u ic k l y
a w ay from the boy. I f i n ished
ru n n i ng u p
the stairs an d i nto the school. I
spri nted through
the hal l w ays, p ush i ng an yone
out of m y w ay as I
d i d so. I heard a fe w ru de
com ments about ho w
w eird I w as an d ho w me an d
T rent w ere so
d i f ferent, w h ich on l y caused
me to cry harder.
F i nal l y, I made it to the girl's
bathroom! I sw u ng
the door open an d ran i nto a
stal l, slam m i ng the
door sh ut an d loc k i ng it. T here
w ere a fe w girls i n
the bathroom doi ng their
ma k e-u p i n front of the
m irrors.
" O h...m y... G od..." I cou l d hear
a girl w h isper to
her frien ds, " D i d you see her
pants, al l f u l l of
b lood? Poor girl, maturi ng a
l ittle late, ai n't she?"
" E w w!" O ne of her frien ds
yel led as they al l
eru pted i nto laughter.
' O h G reat!' I thought to
m ysel f, 'T h i ngs cou l d n't
get an y w orse.'
I stared at the stal l door as the
over w hel m i ng
feel i ng of depression began to
set i n. N ot on l y d i d I
have
to deal w ith ru mours goi ng
arou n d school
about me bei ng ' D amen's
craz y stal k er.' B ut, no w
everyone w ou l d be goi ng
arou n d; say i ng that I got
m y period an d that it lea k ed
through!
' H onestl y the b lood is on m y
k nees an d legs, ho w
w ou l d that be possi b le!' I j ust
w anted to yel l out,
b ut I d i d n't.
Just last w ee k I w as a 'nobod y'
an d no one ever
noticed me. N o one tal k ed
beh i n d m y bac k an d
everyth i ng w as f i ne! N o w , I
w as pretty m uch i n
love w ith D amen an d yet I
meant noth i ng to h i m.
Soon, there w ou l d be horri b le
ru mours goi ng
arou n d the entire school about
me an d I cou l d n't
prevent it.
'I j ust w ish
everyth i ng w ou l d go bac k to
normal!' I
thought to m ysel f as I p ut the
toi let seat do w n
an d sat on top of it.
I p u l led m y k nees
u p to m y chest an d w rap ped
my
arms arou n d them. I rested m y
head on top of m y
b lood y k nees as m y tears
conti n ued to f lo w do w n
m y face. F i nal l y, I al lo w ed m y
b itter sobs to
escape m y throat as I tried
gu l p i ng do w n air
bet w een each cry. M y tears
lea k ed do w n m y
chee ks an d I cou l d taste the
salti ness of them as
they sl i p ped i nto m y mouth.

C hapter 8
T he bel l rang once agai n,
i n d icati ng l u nch w as no w
over as I w i ped the w etness
of f m y face usi ng m y
long sleeved t-sh irt. I reached
do w n to the toi let
paper d ispenser p u l l i ng a
p iece of paper of f before
pressi ng it agai nst m y nose
an d b lo w i ng. I got u p
from the toi let seat i n attem pt
to p u l l m ysel f
together an d yet I felt so
betrayed, so used. T he
exhaustion I felt from m y lac k
of sleep m ixed i n
w ith the heart shatteri ng
events that had j ust
occurred no w left m y bod y i n
shoc k .
I felt w ea k as I stood there
reach i ng for the loc k
w ith a sha k y han d. It too k a
cou p le tries before I
cou l d manage to get out of the
stal l an d i nto the
em pty bathroom. E veryone
w as no w i n class -
everyone except me an d I
i nten ded to k eep it that
w ay. T here w as no w ay I w as
goi ng to go bac k to
class, at least not for the rest of
the day. A
decision I w as q u ite content
w ith an d yet it w as
someth i ng that I w ou l d have
never consi dered
doi ng j ust a mere w ee k ago.
I managed to ma k e m y w ay
through the school
com p letel y u nseen, the
hal l w ays w ere deserted
an d eeri l y q u iet, the on l y
sou n d com i ng from the
classes beyon d the doors.
W ith i n a cou p le secon ds
I w as outsi de the front doors,
do w n the stairs,
across the par k i ng lot an d
w al k i ng do w n the
si de w al k . I turned a corner as
the school
d isap peared out of sight,
leav i ng al l m y prob lems
beh i n d w ith it.
I p u l led m y cel l p hone out of
m y poc k et before
scrol l i ng through al l three of
m y contacts an d then
cl ic k i ng on m y brother's name
an d pressi ng 'sen d
a
message'.
' D on't need a ri de after school,
I'm w al k i ng.'
A fter I w as done w riti ng the
message, I pressed
'sen d' an d conti n ued w al k i ng
do w n the street i n
si lence. W el l, of course i n
si lence, w ho else w as I
su p posed to tal k to? M ysel f?
Yeah then they'd
real l y have someth i ng to tal k
about! I have no
frien ds, I've never had
frien ds...an d the f irst ti me
an yone remotel y m y age even
pai d an y attention
to me it turned out to be some
h uge l ie.
O k ay, stop th i n k i ng about
D amen!
I cou l d tel l m ysel f that a
m i l l ion ti mes b ut no
matter ho w man y ti mes I
th i n k it, say it, or w ish
for it, it's not goi ng to hap pen.
H e w as on m y
m i n d, is on m y m i n d an d
al w ays w i l l be on m y
m i n d.
"S k i p p i ng school? T hat's k i n d
of u n l i k e you." T he
deep voice rang through m y
ears as the i mage of
the gu y w ho hel ped me u p
earl ier f lashed i n m y
m i n d.
I turned arou n d to see a b lac k
S U V i d l i ng a cou p le
feet a w ay from me, a curl y
haired boy had h is
head stuc k out the w i n do w
loo k i ng at me. A cute
sm i le w as p lastered to h is face
as he eyed me u p
an d do w n.
"Ju m p i n." H e sai d, w av i ng h is
han d to w ards
passenger's seat. " I'l l gi ve you
a ri de."
" I don't k no w w here I'm
goi ng..." I rep l ied,
because it w as true, I d i d n't
k no w w here I w as
head i ng also I d i d n't k no w
h i m an d I cou l d n't j ust
j u m p i nto an yone's veh icle. I
pai d attention to
those after school specials
'Stranger D anger!'
" N either do I."
" Yah b ut it's not j ust that." I
fol ded m y arms as I
w atched the S U V move slo w l y
to w ards me,
stop p i ng once I w as stan d i ng
right besi de h is
dri ver's si de door. " I don't
k no w you an d I'm not
j ust goi ng to j u m p i n your car
j ust because you
hel ped me u p from m y fal l
th is afternoon."
" O H , you mean you actual l y
noticed me hel p i ng
you u p." H e spo k e
sarcastical l y w ith h is
dangerousl y sexy voice.
" W hat's that su p posed to
mean!" I w as of fen ded
b y h is tone of voice, even i f
every ti me he spo k e I
got goose b u m ps.
" I mean, I've gone to school
w ith you si nce grade
one, Stasee Rai n ie. T oday w as
the f irst ti me you
have ever ac k no w ledged m y
existence!" T h is ti me
he sou n ded of fen ded, may be
even a l ittle u pset?
I stared at h i m i n d isbel ief as
he began to spea k
agai n. "...an d you sti l l don't
even recogn i ze me."
H e shoo k h is head an d then
conti n ued. "Just j u m p
i n Stasee...I prom ise I don't
b ite. Pl us I'm pretty
sure you need a good
d istraction right about no w ."
I w as hesitant at f irst, yet h is
voice w as so
i n v iti ng an d he w as right, I
d i d need a d istraction -
someth i ng to get m y m i n d of f
D amen an d
everyth i ng else that hap pened
at school today. I
shrugged m y shou l ders before
w al k i ng arou n d the
S U V an d j u m p i ng i nto the
passenger's seat.
I loo k ed over at the boy as a
sm i le of
accom p l ish ment ap peared on
h is face.
" I'm trusti ng you." I sai d w h i le
tossi ng m y
school bag i n the bac kseat. "So
don't try m urderi ng
me because I prom ise I'l l come
bac k to hau nt
you." I teased.
" You...hau nt me?" H e
ch uc k led, "Stasee, you
w ou l d n't even h urt a f l y."
" A n d ho w w ou l d you k no w?"
I fol ded m y arms
across m y chest an d scru nched
m y face u p try i ng
to loo k i nsu lted though I
probab l y loo k ed more
consti pated.
T he boy sh i fted the S U V i nto
dri ve as w e sped of f
do w n the road. T he f urther w e
got a w ay from the
school, the better I began to
feel b ut sti l l I d i d n't
ever w ant to go bac k .
" I alread y tol d you, I've k no w n
you si nce grade
one." H is voice bro k e through
m y thoughts.
" Yah, B ut I've never even
tal k ed to you, nor do I
even remem ber ever seei ng
you arou n d."
" N o, you haven't ever tal k ed to
me b ut that
doesn't mean I've never tried
to tal k to you..."
I w as stari ng at h i m
com p letel y dazed as he j ust
loo k ed out the w i n do w , not
even glanci ng at me as
he
spo k e. Seriousl y, there is no
w ay I've gone to
school w ith th is boy for so
long an d never noticed
h i m. H e w as breathta k i ng
w ith h is cute sm i le,
charm i ng personal ity,
capti vati ng loo ks an d
arousi ng voice.
" W hen... W hen have you tried
to tal k to me?" w as
al l I cou l d cho k e out.
" W hen?!" H e laughed, " A l l the
ti me, for years I've
tried to tal k to you, b ut it w as
l i k e you never
noticed me, l i k e you tried to
b loc k everyone an d
everyth i ng out. T he on l y
peop le i n the w hole
school w ho have ever been
ab le to get your
attention w ere the teachers
an d your brother. I f
an yone else tried to tal k to
you...it w as l i k e you
never noticed..."
I shoo k m y head, not al lo w i ng
m ysel f to bel ieve
h i m. " N o..." I sai d, "Peop le
never noticed me. N o
one has ever even tal k ed to
me, they al l j ust
ignore me..."
" A re you sure?" H e ask ed,
testi ng me. " O r w as it
you w ho w as al w ays ignori ng
other peop le...so
focused on your boo ks an d
school w or k that you
j ust b loc k ed everyth i ng else
out."
I sat there j ust stari ng at h i m,
w on deri ng i f may be
he's not l y i ng, i f may be that
w as true.
" H ere...I'l l hel p refresh your
memory." H e sai d,
w h i le p u l l i ng i nto a par k i ng
lot to W al- M art an d
par k i ng. H e turned to w ard me
ob v iousl y th i n k i ng
the con versation had become
too i ntense for
dri v i ng. " G rade one - it w as
l u nch ti me, an d you
p u l led a pean ut b utter an d
jel l y san d w ich out. You
stared at it i n d isgusted before
say i ng, " E W W W . I
hate P.B an d J!" You got u p
from your desk al l
angry an d I turned to you w ith
m y san d w ich i n m y
han d an d sai d, " H ere
Stasee...You can have m y
Baloney an d m ustard." B ut
you w al k ed right b y
me, l i k e you had n't even
noticed, w ent an d thre w
your san d w ich i n the
garbage."
I had no cl ue w hat he w as
tal k i ng about...at f irst,
b ut then the memory came
bac k to me. I
remem bered that w as the day
m y parents had
deci ded to try gi v i ng me a
d i f ferent k i n d of
san d w ich, b ut I hated P.B an d
J, at the ti me, I
love it no w . B ut an y w ays I
remem ber stom p i ng of f
to the garbage to thro w it
a w ay, I heard some a
voice i n the d istance b ut I
f igured they w ere
tal k i ng to someone else.
" T here w ere so man y ti mes I
tried to tal k to you
Stasee, there's a fe w ti mes that
real l y stic k out."
T he boy conti n ued. " L i k e i n
grade f i ve - you cut
your f i nger on a p iece of glass
w h i le w e w ere
outsi de d uri ng recess. For
some reason I al w ays
had a b u nch of Ban d- A i ds i n
m y poc k ets, curtsey
of m y parents. I tried to of fer
you one b ut you ran
to the teacher, com p letel y
ignori ng me."
A gai n the memory came to me
an d yet I f igured
the d istant voice w as bei ng
d irected to someone
else.
" T hen i n grade eight - I
noticed you w ere read i ng
a batman com ic, one of m y
favourites from the
H ush vol u me. I w as so
surprised you read com ics
an d that you w ere actual l y
i nto that k i n d of stu f f.
You w ere sitti ng on the f loor
besi de your loc k er, I
w as stan d i ng right next to you,
try i ng to tal k b ut
you never even glanced u p at
me. I felt l i k e I w as
tal k i ng to a w al l."
" O h..." W as al l I cou l d say, I
mean al l these years,
th is boy had tried over an d
over to tal k to me an d
I had never noticed. A l l these
years I thought
peop le j ust ignored me
because I w as d i f ferent
because I d i d n't f it i nto their
grou ps an d yet the
w hole ti me it w as me w ho w as
ignori ng them?
"So...I f I have been ignori ng
you al l these years,
then w h y d i d you k eep try i ng
to tal k to me?" I
ask ed h i m.
" I don't k no w , I guess I j ust
f igured sooner or
later
you'd f i nal l y notice...an d you
d i d."
I
loo k ed u p at h i m w ith an
arched eyebro w . I
never noticed, he j ust tol d me.
"Sort
of..." H e conti n ued, " I mean
today you
actual l y ac k no w ledged me
w hen I hel ped you
u p...I th i n k it's because of
D amen, I mean ever
si nce you an d h i m, you've
seemed to of f i nal l y
came out of your shel l."
"Me
an d D amen?" I laughed,
" D on't you
remem ber...I'm h is craz y
stal k er." I sai d w ith
an noyance.
"No
you aren't, I thought you t w o
w ere hoo k i ng
u p... w eren't you out al l n ight
w ith h i m last n ight?"
M y eyes b u lged out, " H o w d i d
you k no w?!" I pretty
m uch
yel led at h i m. " A re you
stal k i ng me?" I felt
the need to j u m p out of the
S U V an d ru n
a w ay...fast. H is next w ords left
me frozen.
" N o...B ut D amen is m y ol der
brother."

C hapter 9

" W hat?!" I yel led, stari ng at the

boy i n d isbel ief.
" T hat i nconsi derate, deceitf u l,
arrogant, l iar is
your brother!?"
" W el l, i f you have to p ut it that
w ay." H e rep l ied
cal m l y.
I cou l d n't bel ieve it, th is boy
seemed so d i f ferent
an d yet, so the same. I mean
w henever D amen
w as w ith j ust me, he w as
real l y n ice. D amen w as
on l y an ass w hen w e w ere at
school an d arou n d
other peop le. I j ust d itched
school to get a w ay
from D amen an d al l h is
b u l lsh it an d no w I'm stuc k
i n a car w ith h is you nger
brother? G reat!
" Yah, so you can cal l me either
D amen's l ittle
brother...or i f you w ant
Bran don, si nce that's m y
name."
" O h, yah...I total l y forgot to
ask w hat your name
is." I sai d feel i ng a l ittle b it
em barrassed.
H e laughed l ightl y at that
w h i le turn i ng the engi ne
bac k on. It loo k ed l i k e he w as
about to say
someth i ng, then a k noc k on
h is si de w i n do w
turned our attention outsi de.
A b lon d girl w as
stan d i ng there w ith her arms
crossed stari ng at
Bran don curiousl y, before
eyei ng me. H er hair
reached do w n to her shou l ders
i n perfect bou ncy
curls. H er eyes w ere l ight b l ue
an d her sk i n w as a
soft i vory color. She w as
w eari ng a cute p i n k
b louse, w h ich on l y ad ded to
her adorab le features.
Bran don rol led do w n the
w i n do w , " H ey K aris!" H e
sai d, though she j ust stood
there, not say i ng
an yth i ng. " W hat's your
prob lem?"
" U m m m...let me see," she
spo k e w ith attitu de b ut
her voice w as so smal l an d
cute she w ou l d n't be
ab le to scare a bab y. " You w ere
su p posed to meet
me outsi de the school hal f an
hour ago. I started
w al k i ng an d then I sa w you
par k ed here... w ith
Stasee? Si nce w hen d i d you
start hangi ng out w ith
her?"
"Si nce...hal f an hour ago." H e
rep l ied w ith a
ch uc k le.
" O h. W el l are you goi ng to let
me i n?" She ask ed.
Bran don nod ded as he
depressed the automatic
door loc ks. K aris sm i led at us
as she opened the
door an d j u m ped i nto the
bac kseat.
" I'm K aris," she sai d, w av i ng at
me w ith a gi d d y
loo k on her face.
" O h...n ice to meet you, I'm-" I
began before she
cut me of f.
"Stasee, I k no w I've gone to
school w ith you for
years."
" O h...I'm sorry."
" D on't w orry about it, I'm not
at al l of fen ded. You
don't real l y pay attention to
an yone at school."
She spo k e nonchalantl y
before ad d i ng, " W el l, that
w as u nti l th is w ee k an y w ays."
" Yah...ap parentl y." I rep l ied.
" H onestl y, I never
even noticed. I al w ays thought
everyone w as
ignori ng me, I j ust fou n d out
today it w as the
other w ay arou n d..."
" W hat!?" She yel led i n
surprise w h i le Bran don
p u l led the S U V out of the W al-
M art par k i ng lot
an d bac k onto the road. K aris
leaned on the edge
of her seat w h i le po k i ng her
head bet w een me
an d Bran don. " You thought
peop le w ere ignori ng
you? O h m y G od! C ome on
Stasee, you are l i k e the
most
beauti f u l girl i n the w hole
school, I mean i f
you actual l y w ore clothes
more your age an d got
al l that hair out of your face,
you'd be l i k e model
material. I don't u n derstan d
w h y you try to h i de
yoursel f al l the ti me, I mean i f
I had your beauty,
I'd be f lau nti ng it!"
M y face began to f l ush red at
her w ords - it w as
hard to bel ieve she w as
spea k i ng the truth. E very
ti me I loo k ed i n the m irror I
felt noth i ng b ut
d isgusted, I never real l y
thought I w as pretty
m uch less beauti f u l an d her
say i ng I loo k ed better
than al l the other girls at the
school had to be a
l ie. I w as noth i ng com pare to
C an d ise w ith her
perfectl y curved bod y an d
bron ze coloured sk i n.
" I mean i f you actual l y d i d
someth i ng w ith
yoursel f every morn i ng," K aris
shoo k her head as
she spo k e, "every gu y w ou l d
be k neel i ng do w n to
you, w orsh i p p i ng the grou n d
you w al k on!"
" K aris, she doesn't need to
change an yth i ng, she's
perfect the w ay she is!"
Bran don i nterru pted her,
" N o w sit bac k an d p ut your
seat belt on!" H e
deman ded.
" U rgg!" She w h i ned, " F i neeee."
H er head d isap peared bac k
i nto the bac k of the
veh icle as I turned m y head
an d loo k ed out the
w i n do w . I w as exhausted, I
sti l l had n't gotten an y
sleep asi de from m y l ittle nap
i n H istory class an d
m y k nees w ere sti l l scratched
u p an d f u l l of dried
u p b lood. T he fact that D amen
had em barrassed
me com p letel y i n front of hal f
the school w as sti l l
stuc k i n the bac k of m y m i n d,
an d not on l y that
b ut for the f irst ti me i n m y l i fe
I w as actual l y
sk i p p i ng class.
"Stasee?" Bran don spo k e
softl y, h is sed ucti ve
voice v i brati ng i n m y ears as I
turned m y eyes
to w ards h i m. " A re you o k ay?"
" Yah, I've j ust had a pretty
eventf u l day, that's
al l."
H e nod ded i n response as h is
free han d reached
over to me an d gentl y ru b bed
m y shou l der. T he
feel i ng of h is touch brought a
w arm sensation to
m y heart. It w as noth i ng l i k e
the w ay I felt w hen
D amen touched me. W hen
D amen touched me I
w anted to pou nce on h i m an d
ri p of f al l m y clothes
in
the process! Bran don made me
al most w ant to
cu d d le i n h is arms, hear that
sw eet gentle voice
w h isperi ng i n m y ear.
" Yah! I'm sti l l bac k here."
K aris' l ittle voice bro k e
through m y thoughts as
Bran don removed h is
han d from m y shou l der. Just
then the real i zation
da w ned on me as I loo k ed at
Bran don an d then
K aris.
" A re you t w o...." dati ng, I
w anted to say, b ut
i nstead m y voice trai led of f.
K aris began laugh i ng w h i le
Bran don j ust loo k ed
am used before he began to
tal k . " N o, K aris w ishes
w e w ere!"
" H A -Yah right B, I w ou l d n't
date you i f m y l i fe
depen ded on it!"
Bran don sm i led w h i le ad d i ng,
" M e an d K aris have
been frien ds for years, she's
more l i k e m y sister
than an yth i ng."
" O h..." I respon ded, " H ere's
another
q uestion... W h y aren't you gu ys
at school?"
Both Bran don an d K aris
loo k ed at each other
before turn i ng their attention
bac k to me. K aris
w as the f irst one to spea k .
" W e're both ahead i n al l our
classes an d w henever
w e get to far ahead w e ta k e a
day of f school an d
go have some f u n."
" W hat w ere you gu ys p lan n i ng
on doi ng?" I ask ed.
" W e w ere goi ng to ta k e
Bran don's boat out go for
a l ittle sp i n." K aris answ ered
me.
I ti lted m y head to the si de
before ad d i ng, " B ut
you aren't an y more?"
" O h..." K aris m u m b led before
loo k i ng at Bran don
an d then bac k at me. " I j ust
thought-"
Bran don cut her sentence short
as he loo k ed at
me i n surprise, " D i d you w ant
to go for a boat
ri de?" H e i n q u ired.
" O f course I do!" I answ ered
w ith excitement.
" W el l that settles it." K aris'
voice w as per k y as
she clap ped her han ds
together. " T o the Boat-
M ob i le!"
Bran don an d I both began to
laugh i n u n ison,
before repeati ng K aris' w ords
together w ith more
enth usiasm " T o the Bat-
M ob i le!"
W e p u l led u p to the harbour,
f i n d i ng a free par k i ng
spot
that w as on l y a fe w feet a w ay
from the
doc ks. I w as goi ng to state
ho w l uc k y w e w ere to
f i n d such a good par k i ng spot
em pty w hen I
noticed a l ittle sign i n front of
us that read 'Pri vate
- H urtz'. Seei ng the name right
a w ay rem i n ded me
of
D amen as it too k me a secon d
to real i ze that
H urtz w as Bran don's last
name as w el l.
" You o w n your o w n par k i ng
spot?" I ask ed w ith a
h uge sm i le p lastered to m y
face.
" W el l, it's m y parents - j ust
l i k e the boats m y
parents'." H e rep l ied.
" A n d they don't care that w e're
ta k i ng it out?"
K aris laughed as w e al l got out
of the veh icle. She
came to m y si de an d
w h ispered, " L i k e they'd
noticed. T hey probab l y
w ou l d n't even notice i f
their o w n house w as on f ire."
I lo w ered m y eyes as K aris
an d I w al k ed arou n d
the S U V an d met u p w ith
Bran don on the si de w al k
w h i le ma k i ng our w ay
to w ards the doc ks. " Real l y?
W h y?" I ask ed.
T h is ti me Bran don answ ered
me, " M y parents are
out of to w n a lot, so b usy w ith
w or k it's pretty
m uch l i k e D amen an d I l i ve
on our o w n."
" Yah, M y parents are the
same..." m y voice w as
f u l l of u n derstan d i ng.
W e f i nal l y stop ped i n front of
w h ite A dria 1002
motor boat. I loo k ed it u p an d
do w n w h i le nod d i ng
m y head i n acceptance. " N ot
bad, not bad." I sai d
w h i le ad m iri ng the boat. "2x
125h p Yam mar
D iesel?" I ask ed w h i le
fol lo w i ng K aris an d Bran don
onto the boat.
"Sure is." Bran don answ ered,
" You seem to k no w
a th i ng or t w o about boats."
H e stated.
" I read a lot."
K aris giggled before she
deci ded to test m y
k no w ledge, " W hat year?" she
q uestioned me.
"2005" I rep l ied w ithout
hesitation.
" H ey Bran don, may be you an d
I aren't the
smartest k i ds at school.
A p parentl y w e have some
h i d den com petition." K aris
yel led to w ard Bran don
w ho w as no w u nty i ng the
boat.
A l ittle sm i le ap peared on
Bran don's face though
he d i d n't rep l y to K aris. I
w atched h i m as he
headed u p the stairs an d
to w ards the steeri ng
w heel. " A n d w e're out of
here!" H e yel led to w ards
us as he started u p the motor.
W e p u l led out of
the doc ks as w e made our w ay
out onto the
w ater.
W e slo w l y began to gai n
speed as the w arm
breeze brushed through m y
hair. I had n't been on
a boat for years an d I had
al most forgotten ho w
n ice it felt as the w i n d b le w
agai nst m y w arm sk i n.
It w as such an i ncred i b l y hot
day today w h ich
on l y
made the boat ri de that m uch
better. I stared out
the boat w atch i ng the w ater
smash i ng agai nst the
si des
before rol l i ng over an d
turn i ng i nto l ight
w aves. T he su n beamed do w n
on us as the boat
con j ured w i n ds that k ept our
bod ies cool.
K aris loo k ed as i f she w ere
try i ng to tal k to me
b ut the boat's motor
overpo w ered her voice as I
sat there w atch i ng her mouth
form i nto d i f ferent
shapes. T hough I cou l d n't hear
her, I felt bad for
not respon d i ng so I merel y
j ust nod ded m y head
at her as I turned arou n d agai n
to loo k out the
si de of the boat. I w atched the
ri p p les on the
w ater as w e slo w l y began to
stop. W e w ere no w
out of the harbour an d as I
loo k ed over to see the
to w n of M cLen nan it barley
loo k ed l i k e an yth i ng
other than a l i ne of green.
I w atched as K aris stood u p
an d stretched her
arms out, " N eed an y hel p w ith
the anchor?" She
cal led out to Bran don.
" N o," H e cal led bac k , " It's
alread y i n!" Bran don
ap peared i n front of us, he w as
no w w eari ng a
pair of green sw i m m i ng shorts
that reached j ust
past h is k nees. H is chest w as
bare, sho w i ng of f
h is sl ight m uscles. H e w asn't
an y w here near as
m uscu lar as D amen b ut h is
sk i n n y bod y an d smal l
abs w ere j ust as i n v iti ng.
" T oday w as the perfect day to
ta k e the boat out,"
K aris sm i led as she w aved her
arms i n the air i n
attem pt to soa k u p the su n.
Su d den l y K aris began
to stri p her clothes of f as I
q u ic k l y turned m y
head a w ay; try i ng to prevent
m ysel f from seei ng
an yth i ng I w asn't i nten ded to.
I heard K aris' giggle from
beh i n d me, " C al m do w n
Stasee." She spo k e w ith
am usement, " I'm w eari ng
a bath i ng su it."
I turned arou n d j ust i n ti me to
see K aris stan d i ng
on the edge of the boat, " Last
one i n is a rotten
egg!" She jo k ed as she leaped
i nto the air before
doi ng a perfect d i ve i nto the
w ater, barley even
ma k i ng a sp lash.
I made m y w ay over to w here
K aris had j u m ped
of f the boat an d sat do w n,
al lo w i ng m y legs to
dangle of f the edge. K aris
resurfaced as her gaze
met m i ne. " A ren't you com i ng
i n?" She ask ed.
" N o...I th i n k I'l l pass for no w ."
I rep l ied.
" M e too." Bran don sai d as he
came an d sat do w n
besi de me.
" F i ne, b ut you don't k no w
w hat you're m issi ng out
on!" K aris cal led out before
she d u n k ed bac k u n der
the w ater.
" H onestl y Stasee...ho w can
you be w eari ng that?"
Bran don ask ed as he poi nted
to w ard m y b lac k
jeans an d dar k b l ue long
sleeve T-sh irt w ith the
C are Bears on it. I had a tan k
top u n der the sh irt
w h ich on l y made the w hole
outf it that m uch
w armer.
I shrugged m y shou l ders, " I
don't k no w ...I guess
I'm used to the heat."
" K aris w as right though, you
k no w about ho w you
seem to try to h i de yoursel f al l
the ti me." H e
spo k e q u ietl y w h i le stari ng
i nto m y eyes, " I mean
w h y don't you ta k e of f some
of those layers an d
let the su n touch your sk i n for
once?"
" Bran don H urtz!" I preten ded
to sou n d of fen ded,
" You j ust w ant me to stri p for
you, don't you?" I
teased.
" W el l, I w ou l d n't so m uch
m i n d that either." H e
jo k ed bac k as I p lay f u l l y
p u nched h i m i n the
shou l der.
" You're goi ng do w n for that,
Stasee Rai n ie!" H e
laughed as I j u m ped u p to m y
feet an d tried to ru n
a w ay.
I barel y got three feet a w ay
w hen I felt
Bran don's arms w rap arou n d
m y w aist before
p u l l i ng me u p of f m y feet. I
w atched as he
conti n uousl y w al k ed closer to
the edge of the boat
as m y struggl i ng to get free
i ncreased i n i ntensity
an d fervour. I felt h is gri p on
me sl i p p i ng as the
feel i ng of v ictory rose through
m y bod y, I w as
al most free. Just as I thought
that, I felt both
m i ne an d Bran don's bod y
leav i ng the boat.
I gri p ped Bran don tightl y as
grav ity had ta k en
over an d w e drop ped i nto the
w ater, ma k i ng a
h uge sp lash. T he ice col d
ocean agai nst m y
b urn i ng hot bod y w as
shoc k i ng at f irst; even so, it
w as u n bel ievab l y refresh i ng. I
opened m y eyes
u n der the w ater, real i z i ng
Bran don an d I sti l l had
our arms w rap ped arou n d
each other. I cou l d feel
m y chee ks f l ush p i n k an d w as
glad that no one
cou l d see m y face properl y. I
p ushed Bran don
a w ay from me as I sw am to the
surface i n d ire
need of oxygen. A s m y head
surfaced i nto the
w arm air, I heard K aris' b ursts
of laughter on l y a
fe w feet a w ay.
"So ap parentl y you gu ys are
com i ng i n!" She
teased as Bran don came u p for
air as w el l.
T he secon d Bran don's head
po k ed u p from the
w ater I pou nced on top of h i m
p lay f u l l y, try i ng to
p ush h i m bac k u n der the
w ater. Bran don sp lashed
the w ater f iercel y, ma k i ng it
harder for me to get
to h i m. I cou l d see K aris
w atch i ng us w ith
am usement before I sp lashed
w ater i n her face as
w el l. K aris sw am over to us
an d joi ned i n, al l three
of us, agai nst each other i n a
ragi ng w ater f ight.
W e conti n ued to attac k , p ush,
an d sp lash each
other, an d every so often j u m p
on top of someone
for a good hal f an hour or so.
Some w here w ith i n
the p lay f u l f ighti ng I managed
to lose m y C are
Bears sh irt, leav i ng me i n on l y
m y w h ite tan k-top
an d b lac k jeans. A l l three of
us f i nal l y lost al l
energy to move as w e p u l led
oursel ves bac k u p
onto the boat.
" N ice Bra Stasee." Bran don
teased as he loo k ed
over at m y see-through w h ite
tan k-top.
"Sh ut u p Bran don, may be i f
you d i d n't toss me
i nto the w ater w ith al l m y
clothes on." I tried to
sou n d mad, b ut you cou l d
hear the l ight-
hearted ness i n m y voice.
W eird l y enough I w asn't
em barrassed to be seen i n m y
tan k-top l i k e that.
H onestl y, I d i d n't even care, I
don't k no w i f it w as
because I w as getti ng use to
K aris an d Bran don or
i f it w ere merel y because I w as
too tired to care.
A l l three of us lay on the boat
f loor, try i ng to
regai n our energy. A l ittle
w h i le later, w e f i nal l y
got u p as Bran don w ent an d
p u l led u p the anchor,
K aris an d I headed i nto the
boat i n search of a
bathroom. K aris had a sk irt
she w as goi ng to let
me w ear seei ng as m y jeans
had gro w n t w o ti mes
b igger an d w ere no w fal l i ng
of f me. I stared i n the
m irror after I f i n ished
changi ng.
W hen K aris sai d she had a
sk irt, I had n't thought
she meant a l ittle p iece of
fabric. T he w h ite sk irt
j ust managed to cover m y b utt,
ma k i ng me loo k
l i k e a you ng w hore. I w as
w eari ng m y w h ite tan k-
top that w as no w see-through
reveal i ng m y b lac k
bra.
" A re you sti l l i n there?" K aris
cal led out from
beh i n d the door.
" K aris!" I screeched bac k , " I
loo k l i k e a frea k i n'
SL U T!" I opened the bathroom
door as K aris' eyes
scan ned m y bod y. H er mouth
drop ped open as she
stared at me i n d isbel ief.
" O k ay, you can j ust have that
sk irt because no w
that I've seen ho w good it
loo ks on you, it's never
goi ng to be the same on me."
She sai d w ith
d isap poi ntment, " A n d Stasee,
You don't loo k l i k e a
sl ut, i f your outf it w ere b lac k ,
then may be. T he
w h ite gi ves you an angel ic
loo k ."

C hapter 10
K aris left me stan d i ng i n the
bathroom alone as
she d isap peared out onto the
dec k of the boat. I
stood i n the same p lace
chec k i ng m ysel f out i n the
m irror. I
loo k ed l i k e a com p letel y
d i f ferent person.
M y w et hair w as p u l led bac k
i nto a messy pon ytai l
reveal i ng m y face for once.
W h i le usual l y al l the
clothes I w ore h i d every curve
of m y bod y, these
clothes en hanced them. A s I
stared i nto the
m irror I felt com p letel y
exposed an d na k ed,
although at the same ti me a
ne w born con f i dence
gre w i nsi de me.
I felt k i n d of fa k e an d made
u p. L i k e th is
ap parition w asn't me; I loo k ed
as i f I w ere try i ng
to be someone else. I f i nal l y
made u p m y m i n d an d
deci ded to w ear the l ittle sk irt
an d see-through
tan k-top. It's not l i k e I real l y
had an y other
options. I made m y w ay u p
onto the dec k of the
boat, ma k i ng m y w ay over to
K aris an d Bran don. I
cou l d feel the boat slo w l y
begi n to stop as
Bran don fou n d h is usual berth
at the doc ks.
N either K aris nor Bran don
noticed me as I stood
agai nst the w al l, al most
h i d den b y the shado ws.
Both of them seemed to be
stari ng w i de-eyed at
someth i ng on the doc k . From
m y position I
cou l d n't see w hat they w ere
stari ng at. It w asn't
u nti l the icy voice rang
through m y ears freez i ng
both m y bod y an d heart
motion less. I cou l d feel
m y k nees w ea k en beneath me
as I fought to
remai n u pright.
" H ey l i l' bro, you d i d n't tel l
me you w ere ta k i ng
the boat out. I've been w aiti ng
arou n d here
forever d u de!" D amen's voice
echoed through m y
ears.
A s m uch as Bran don's deep,
sexy voice brought a
sh i ver do w n m y sp i ne it w as
noth i ng com pared to
the w ay D amen's voice made
me feel. Sure
Bran don w as n ice, even sw eet
an d he w as m y
safest bet k no w i ng that he
w ou l d never h urt me.
D amen on the other han d
made me feel a w ay no
other gu y ever can ever cou l d
or ever w i l l.
D amen's h usk y voice v i brated
m y ears, cal l i ng me
to w ards h i m l i k e a siren song
as i f I w ere u n der
the spel l of a love potion.
" O h...u h...u m m...so-sorry
D amen...I...d i d n't...it
d i d n't even...cr-cross m y
m i n d." Bran don stuttered
as he stared do w n at h is
brother i n shoc k .
I cou l d feel m y legs began to
move though it felt
as i f I w ere f loati ng as I made
m y w ay out of the
shado ws an d to w ard the edge
of the boat. M y
eyes slo w l y fou n d their w ay to
D amen as m y
heart clenched i nsi de m y chest
al most causi ng me
to thro w u p. T he pai n that w as
brought on b y
seei ng h i m stan d i ng there
forced m y eyes to w el l
u p w ith u nshed tears as I
stared do w n at h is oh-
so perfect bod y.
H is sq uare set ja w w as
scru nched u p i nto a p lay f u l
sm ir k as h is perfectl y messy
hair b le w l ightl y
arou n d h is head from the
ocean's breeze. H is
outrageousl y perfect m uscles
w ere outl i ned
through h is si ze too smal l t-
sh irt. It w as i ncred i b l y
sexy seei ng as the sh irt w as
w h ite an d made h is
f la w less, bron ze sk i n stan d
out l i k e a rose i n the
m i d d le of a f iel d f u l l of
w eeds.
E veryth i ng about D amen w as
perfect, l i k e he w ere
a gi ft
from the G od's sent to earth to
p u n ish girl's
the w orse w ay possi b le -
heartache. I f that w as
the case, then so far he is
doi ng an absol utel y
w on derf u l job. Just stan d i ng
there - seei ng h i m
made me w ant to fal l to m y
k nees, face i n m y
han ds an d cry u nti l every last
tear w as drai ned
from m y bod y. I cou l d n't
i magi ne ho w an y gu y
cou l d possi b l y ma k e me feel
th is w ay, ho w he can
force me to si n k so lo w as to
w al lo w i n m y o w n
pathetic m isery?
I cou l d feel the l u m p risi ng
i nto m y throat as I
sw al lo w ed hard. I w asn't
goi ng to cry, not th is
ti me, I w as not goi ng to gi ve
h i m that satisfaction!
N o, I w as goi ng to hol d m y
head u p h igh an d act
as i f I d i d n't care, it w as the
on l y w ay. I k ne w I
w as strong an d it w as no w
ti me to prove it.
" O h...don't w orry D amen, w e
w ere j ust leav i ng!" I
yel led out to w ard h i m as I
w al k ed over to Bran don
an d w rap ped m y arm arou n d
h is nec k .
I w atched as D amen's sm ir k
q u ic k l y d isap peared
at the sou n d of m y voice, h is
face sh i fted i nto the
loo k of shoo k at w hat I'm
guessi ng w as the
real i zation that I w as on the
boat. M y sm i le
w i dened as I noticed D amen's
eyes scan m y bod y
from head to toe, stop p i ng
brief l y at both m y m i n i
sk irt an d then see through
sh irt.
"...Stasee...?" H e w h ispered i n
d isbel ief. H e loo k ed
bac k an d forth bet w een
Bran don an d me as h is
con f usion w as q u ic k l y
rep laced b y anger.
" Bran don?!" H e yel led angri l y.
" W hat..." Bran don ask ed,
preten d i ng he d i d n't
k no w w hat D amen w as
tal k i ng about even though
w e al l k ne w he k ne w exactl y
w hat th is w as al l
about.
"So is that ho w it's goi ng to be
l ittle bro?"
D amen's face w as f l ushed beet
red, h is entire
bod y exu d i ng rage an d
u n bri d led anger!
" O h get over yoursel f D amen!"
I shot bac k as I
j u m ped of f the boat an d onto
the doc k . M y m i n i
sk irt i nched u p a l ittle gi v i ng
D amen a q u ic k f lash
of m y u n der w ear. I felt a l ittle
em barrassed an d
cou l d feel m y chee ks begi n to
red den. I managed
to h i de m y em barrassment b y
w av i ng m y han d i n
front of m y face preten d i ng it
w ere the heat that
f l ushed m y chee ks p i n k . " It's
not l i k e w e w ere
ever together!"
" I never sai d th is w as about
you!" H e retorted
bac k .
I laughed a fa k e sed ucti ve
laugh, " You don't have
to say it, Babe...It's w ritten al l
over your face." I
w h ispered i nto h is ear as m y
f i ngers ran through
h is perfectl y smooth hair. H is
chocolate bro w n
hair felt l i k e f l u f f from the
heavens.
S T O P I T!
S T A SE E R E M E M B E R! H E'S
A N A SS H O L E! M y m i n d
yel led.
I forced m ysel f to come bac k
to real ity w h i le
forci ng D amen out of m y
m i n d. I brought m y face
u p closer to h is as i f I w ere
about to k iss h i m an d
the secon d he closed h is eyes
getti ng read y to
k iss me bac k , I shoved h i m
hard i n the chest. I
gazed at D amen as he tu m b led
over an d fel l of f
the doc k before sp lash i ng i nto
the w ater.
I cou l d hear K aris' laughter
from beh i n d me as I
w atched D amen's head
emerge out of the w ater.
H is perfectl y bro w n hair
dri p ped w ater do w n h is
face ma k i ng h i m on l y that
m uch more irresisti b le.
A n u n k no w n emotion crossed
over h is face as he
stared u p at me w h i le
sw i m m i ng over to the doc k .
K aris grab bed hol d of m y arm
w h i le p u l l i ng me
a w ay. I cou l d sti l l hear her
laughter as I glanced
over m y shou l der try i ng to get
another loo k at
D amen. H e w as j ust starti ng to
p u l l h i msel f bac k
u p onto the doc k as he
w atched us d isap pear out
of sight. T he loo k on D amen's
face w as stuc k i n
m y head hau nti ng me. M ost
peop le say pay bac k
feels good an d that its f u n, i f
that's true then w h y
d i d I feel so sh itty?
I w as so lost i n m y o w n
thoughts that I had barel y
noticed Bran don trai l i ng a fe w
feet beh i n d K aris
an d I. It w asn't u nti l K aris'
voice bro k e through m y
daze that I real i zed that
Bran don seemed al most
u pset.
" W hat is u p w ith you t w o!?"
K aris f i nal l y stop ped
dead i n her trac ks an d turned
to loo k at both me
an d then Bran don. " K
honestl y, that w as probab l y
one of the f u n n iest th i ngs I've
seen al l year an d
you gu ys aren't even laugh i ng.
I nstead you t w o
are su l k i ng!"
A t the exact moment me an d
Bran don loo k ed
straight at each other as I
f i nal l y real i zed that I
w asn't the on l y one w ho felt
gu i lty, w h ich on l y
made me feel that m uch
w orse. I lo w ered m y
head i n shame as I started
do w n at the grou n d. I
d i d n't w ant to tel l K aris that I
felt l i k e a b itch for
p ush i ng D amen i n the w ater
or that the loo k on
D amen's face pretty m uch
destroyed me. T hat
w ou l d on l y prove ho w m uch
po w er D amen had
over me.
Bran don w as the f irst to spea k ,
" I don't k no w ,
K aris... It's j ust I've never seen
m y brother loo k so
v u l nerab le an d
h urt." Bran don spo k e q u ietl y
as he
w al k ed over to me an d p ut h is
arm on m y
shou l der. " N ot that I b lame
you Stasee, I mean
w hat m y brother d i d to you is
w ay w orse, I'm j ust
not used to seei ng m y brother
l i k e that. I'm sti l l
j ust a l ittle surprised." H e tried
to com fort me an d
yet it w asn't w or k i ng, I sti l l
felt as bad as ever.
A l l three of us cl i m bed i nto
the S U V si lentl y, th is
ti me I sat i n the bac k seei ng as
I w as no longer i n
the mood to tal k . I may have
been overreacti ng a
l ittle b it, I mean al l I had done
w as p ush D amen
i nto the w ater. It w asn't l i k e I
em barrassed h i m i n
front of hal f the school or
an yth i ng that extreme.
B ut sti l l, the fact remai ned the
same, the loo k of
betrayal an d v u l nerab i l ity that
mask ed D amen's
face w as heart w rench i ng.
I stared out the w i n do w of the
S U V , w atch i ng as
w e passed b y houses, cars an d
peop le though I
barley sa w an yth i ng. T he on l y
i magi ne I cou l d see
w as D amen w ith h is face
covered i n the ocean's
w ater, h is hair dri p p i ng
w etness do w n h is chee ks
an d h is deep bro w n eyes
stari ng u p at me,
p lead i ng for forgi veness.
" A lright Stasee, w e're here."
Bran don's voice
i nterru pted me as I loo k ed
arou n d, real i z i ng w e
w ere no w par k ed outsi de m y
house.
" O h." I sai d as I grab bed m y
bac k pac k an d tossed
it over m y shou l ders.
" W el l...u h, than ks for ta k i ng
me out on the boat, I real l y d i d
have f u n." I sai d
w h i le forci ng a sm i le. I
opened the door an d I
began to descen d from the
veh icle.
" O h!" K aris sai d pretty m uch
j u m p i ng i nto the
bac k of the S U V an d
w rap p i ng her arms arou n d
me w h i le her b lon de curls
bou nced u p an d do w n. " I
had
so m uch f u n w ith you today! It
w as so n ice
actual l y hav i ng a girl arou n d
for once, I'm usual l y
j ust stuc k w ith Bran don b ut
today w as f u n! A n d
don't w orry so m uch about the
w hole D amen
th i ng I k no w you an d Bran don
are l i k e al l u pset
about it an d for absol utel y no
reason I m ight ad d!
B ut seriousl y, D amen
deserved it, no dou bt an d
he'l l be over it b y tomorro w ,
so don't fret." K aris
w as tal k i ng so fast I cou l d
barley even manage to
u n derstan d a w ord she w as
say i ng. " B ut honestl y,
w e shou l d hang out agai n!
O ne T ree H i l l is on
ton ight, I real l y love that sho w
you shou l d
seriousl y come over an d w atch
it, P.S you don't
have a choice i n the matter I'l l
p ic k you u p at
7:30. O k ay?" K aris p u l led me
bac k i nto a h ug
before I cou l d even answ er her
b ut her craz y
excitement made me laugh.
H onestl y, ho w cou l d
an yone manage to tal k so fast?
" K aris, remem ber - stop an d
ta k e a breath!"
Bran don laughed as he p u l led
on her sh irt an d
hau led her to the front of the
veh icle. " I'l l see you
at school tomorro w Stasee, I
real l y d i d en joy
hangi ng out w ith you." H is
rough sexy voice w as
si ncere as he loo k ed over to
me as a l ittle sm ir k
p layed its w ay onto h is face
before he p u l led out
of the dri ve w ay.
K aris stuc k her head out the
w i n do w as they
began to dri ve do w n the street,
" I'L L PI C K Y O U
U P A T 7:30!!" She yel led out.
I sm i led to m ysel f as I began
to ma k e m y w ay to
the front door of m y house.
E ven though there
w ere m u lti p le emotions
ru n n i ng through m y bod y,
the fact that those t w o cou l d
sti l l ma k e me laugh
conti n ued to amaze me.
"Stasee.."
I j u m ped out of fear, as m y
heart stop for a
secon d.
" T rent!" I yel led an d h it h i m i n
the stomach w ith
m y bac k pac k , " You scared the
crap out of me!"
T rent fol ded h is arms as he
stared u p at me an d
spo k e stern l y, " W e need to
tal k ."
C hapter 11

W e need to tal k? I ask ed

m ysel f as I stared do w n
at m y ol der brother sitti ng on
our front door steps.
W hat i n
the w orl d w ou l d T rent need to
tal k to me
about? A n d w h y d i d he loo k
so d isap poi nted? T he
loo k that mask ed T rent's face
w as the sp itti ng
i mage of m y father's facial
expression w henever I
d i d someth i ng bad or w rong.
" O k k k ay y y?" I sai d i n a
q uestion i ng tone as I sat
do w n on the step besi de m y
brother. " W hat's th is
al l about?"
H e answ ered me w ith on l y
one w ord, " D amen."
I had to mental l y k ic k m ysel f
as I stared do w n at
the si de w al k i n shoc k . H o w
d i d I not see th is
com i ng - T rent w as m y
brother, D amen w as one
of h is best frien ds, I shou l d
have k no w n he w ou l d
eventual l y f i n d out. I n a w ay I
d i d although I never
expected h i m to f i n d out so
soon. E ven so I
attem pted to preten d I d i d n't
k no w w hat he w as
tal k i ng about.
" W hat about D amen?" I
q uestioned, even though I
regretted ask i ng it the secon d
it left m y l i ps d ue to
the anger that ap peared on m y
brother's face.
" D on't p lay stu p i d w ith me
Stasee A n ne Rai n ie!"
T rent spo k e lo w w ith anger i n
a H E R O I C ef fort to
declare the seriousness of the
situation.
" O k ay T rent, j ust let me
exp lai n-" I deci ded to tel l
m y brother the truth, there
w as no poi nt i n h i d i ng
it an y longer.
" Let you exp lai n? W hat is
there to exp lai n, I th i n k
I've got a pretty good i dea
alread y." H e bar k ed
bac k .
" Yah, b ut I real l y do l i k e
D amen an d it's not h is
fau lt-"
" O h. I k no w it's not h is fau lt
Stasee," H e cut me
of f. H is voice as sharp as ever,
" Loo k , I k no w he's
probab l y a good loo k i ng gu y
to you an d sure he's
pop u lar."
T h is ti me it w as m y turn to cut
h i m of f. " It's not
j ust that. H e's also n ice," I
con fessed before
ad d i ng, "someti mes."
" N ice?" H e deman ded,
" D amen H urtz!?" A lou d,
sarcastic ch uc k le v i brated
through h is throat.
" E ven i f D amen w as n ice,
w h ich for one I've never
seen h i m be n ice to an yone,
ho w w ou l d you
k no w?"
" Because, I've seen h i m be n ice
to me!"
H o w w ou l d I k no w? W asn't
th is w hat T rent
w anted to tal k to me about?
M e an d D amen
hangi ng out, becom i ng
sexual l y i n vol ved. Yet, he's
stan d i ng there q uestion i ng me
on ho w I w ou l d
k no w w hether or not D amen
is n ice. I stared at
m y brother as con f usion
passed through me.
I k no w because I've h u ng out
w ith h i m at least
three ti mes no w! I w anted to
yel l, b ut d i d n't.
" H e's been n ice to you?" M y
brother q uestioned
me, stari ng at me l i k e I w as
craz y. "Stasee, you
need to stop these del usions! I
don't k no w w hat
has gotten i nto you these past
cou p le days b ut
honestl y it has got to stop."
T rent spo k e stern l y
w h i le getti ng u p of f the stairs
an d stari ng do w n at
me. " D amen is not a n ice gu y,
he is not your
boy frien d, he w i l l never be
your boy frien d, an d
mostl y You- H ave- G ot-T o-Stop-
Stal k i ng-h i m!" H e
yel led the last part out one
w ord at a ti me so
lou d l y I'm sure al l our
surrou n d i ng neigh bours
heard h i m.
" W hat!?" I l iteral l y screamed
th is as lou d as m y
l u ngs w ou l d al lo w . " M e...st-st-
stal k i ng h i m!?"
W as T rent serious? I thought
angri l y. D i d he
honestl y j ust accuse me of
stal k i ng D amen?
M y o w n brother, m y o w n
f lesh-n-b lood actual l y
bel ieves al l the ru mours that
are bei ng circu lated
throughout the school about
me. T he w orst part
of it al l w as that I w asn't
stal k i ng D amen, i f
an yth i ng it's the other w ay
arou n d!
W ho came to M Y bedroom,
an d w aited on M Y bed
for me that Fri day n ight? M y
m i n d conti n ued to
yel l.
W ho p u l led M E i nto the
jan itors closet?
W ho came to M Y house an d
thre w roc ks at M Y
bedroom w i n do w?
W ho too k M E from M Y house
i n the m i d d le of the
n ight?
W ho brought M E to their
"Special " p lace?!
W hen I ran a w ay from the
school to get a w ay,
W H O en ded u p sho w i ng U P?!
T he answ er to al l these
q uestions is: D A M E N ,
D A M E N , D A M E N , D A M E N !!
A n d yet, ap parentl y it is too
i m possi b le to i magi ne
D amen bei ng the one w ho's
goi ng after me, so
i nstead peop le are com i ng u p
w ith th is ri d icu lous
story about me stal k i ng
D amen?! It w as
com p letel y an d utterl y
outrageous because not
on l y does pretty m uch al l of
K ersha w H igh th i n k
I'm stal k i ng D amen b ut no w
so does m y ol der
brother.
T h i ngs cou l d n't get an y w orse!
" D on't sou n d so surprised
Stasee." T rent's voice
lo w ered to a more nonchalant
tone. " A n d don't try
den y i ng it either, I've ad ded
u p al l the cl ues w h ich
lead to the same
concl usion...You hav i ng an
u n health y crush on D amen."
" C l ues?!" I j u m ped to m y feet
as anger began
boi l i ng u p i nsi de me. I've
never w anted to p u nch
m y brother i n the face as m uch
as I w anted to at
that exact moment. " W hat
cl ues?!"
"Stasee, C al m do w n. I'l l tel l
you..." T rent spo k e
carelessl y w h ich on l y ad ded to
m y anger. I stood
there glari ng at m y brother, I
cou l d feel m y
chee ks b urn i ng red an d m y
face scru nched u p
w i l d l y. H e conti n ued to spea k ,
" It f irst started
Fri day n ight, I k ept catch i ng
you stari ng at
D amen, w h ich I guess is
normal b ut sti l l. T hen,
Saturday morn i ng you ask ed
me w here D amen
w ent an d after that you
conti n ued to b ug me al l
w ee k en d w ith q uestions about
D amen. M on day
morn i ng w hen w e p ic k ed u p
K ev i n you never
spo k e one w ord to h i m, l i k e
al w ays, b ut that w as
u nti l he mentioned D amen's
name. For the f irst
ti me ever you actual l y sai d
someth i ng to K ev i n,
you ask ed h i m i f D amen slept
w ith T i f fan y an d
Jessica." T rent paused to loo k
over at me an d a
loo k of tri u m p h covered h is
face.
T he anger that once roared
through m y bod y had
no w van ished an d w as
rep laced b y shoc k an d a
da w n i ng real i zation. E ven
though I k ne w I w asn't
stal k i ng D amen I w as
begi n n i ng to see w h y m y
brother w ou l d th i n k I w as.
T rent conti n ued, " T hen peop le
at school k ept
catch i ng you try i ng to tal k to
h i m, l i k e that ti me
at h is loc k er d uri ng l u nch
brea k . T hen at l u nch
brea k agai n outsi de b y the
tree. N o w , you're
hangi ng out w ith h is l ittle
brother? Stasee, I love
you an d al l b ut th is stu f f is not
loo k i ng good. A l l
your l i fe you've never real l y
tal k ed to an yone b ut
me, mom, dad an d other
ad u lts. T hen su d den l y al l
th is crap hap pens w ith D amen
an d no w you're out
god k no ws w here w ith
Bran don H urtz an d K aris
K i n d le?"
" O k ay, I k no w th is al l sou n ds
bad T rent." I sai d
f i nal l y agreed w ith m y
brother. H e w as right al l
these cl ues d i d ma k e me seem
l i k e D amen's l ittle
stal k er, i f on l y peop le k ne w
w hat actual l y
hap pened beh i n d the scenes.
" B ut I'm not stal k i ng
D amen...I sw ear."
" You do l i k e h i m right?" H is
q uestion sou n ded
more l i k e an accusation.
" Yes, b ut he l i k es me too!"
O k ay, that w as a l ie. I
d i d n't k no w for sure w hether
or not D amen l i k ed
me. H is b i polar attitu de w as
com p letel y
contrad ictory causi ng me to
bel ieve someth i ng one
m i n ute an d then the com p lete
op posite the next.
"Stop bei ng del usional.
D amen does not l i k e you,
Stasee!"
" W h y!?" I screamed bac k ,
" W h y is it so hard to
bel ieve? W h y is it D amen can't
l i k e someone l i k e
me?!"
" Because he's m i ne-" T he
secon d the w ords left
T rent's l i ps he sh ut h is mouth
an d stared do w n at
me, com p letel y shoc k ed b y h is
o w n w ords.
I too j ust stood there stari ng
u p at m y ol der
brother w ho to w ered over me.
H is last three
w ords conti n ued to echo
through m y ears as I on l y
managed to sp it out one w ord,
" W hat...?"
" N oth i ng!" T rent sai d q u ic k l y
as h is chee ks
f l ushed com p letel y red an d I
sw ear I cou l d al most
see sw eat begi n to form on h is
forehead.
" T rent...are you G a..." I cleared
m y throat,
" T rent... D o you l i k e Bo..." I
cleared m y throat
agai n, no matter w h ich w ay I
attem pted to ask
the q uestion I sti l l cou l d n't
f i n ish ask i ng it. I loo k ed
u p at m y ol der brother,
k no w i ng he u n derstood
w hat I w as try i ng to ask .
I w atched h i m as he i n haled
deep l y before
exhal i ng out an d then nod d i ng
h is head once - u p
an d then do w n. I felt m y heart
began to race fast,
not because I real l y cared that
m y brother w as
gay it w as more because of
ho w shoc k ed I w as.
T hen someth i ng else crossed
m y m i n d as pan ic
soared through m y bod y, " A n d
D amen?"
T rent shoo k h is head before
open i ng h is mouth to
spea k . " N o...I don't th i n k
so...I'm pretty sure he's
not." H is voice w as so smal l,
l i k e he thought
may be I w as d isap poi nted i n
h i m or that he had
someho w let me do w n? " I
guess I'm the one w ith
the u n health y crush on h i m."
" You k no w T rent, there's
real l y noth i ng w rong
w ith that." I tried to reassure
h i m.
H e loo k ed do w n at me as i f I
w ere a k i d w ho k ne w
noth i ng. "Sure Stasee, there's
noth i ng w rong w ith
me bei ng gay, I'm sure mom
an d dad w ou l d love it
i f their one an d on l y son l i k ed
boys." H e spo k e
sarcastical l y an d then ad ded.
" E ither w ay, p lease
Stasee, prom ise me you w on't
say an yth i ng to
an yone!?" H e p leaded.
I
had never seen m y brother
loo k so defenceless
so exposed an d v u l nerab le, I
nod ded m y head. " I
prom ise..."

C hapter 12

T rent an d I moved i nto the

l i v i ng room f i n d i ng
oursel ves a spot on the couch.
I sat on one en d
w h i le T rent sat on the other.
T he f irep lace w as
b urn i ng brightl y i l l u m i nati ng
the dar k room i n
w h ich al l the w i n do ws w ere
covered w ith maroon
coloured curtai ns b loc k i ng out
the su n.
I loo k ed over at m y ol der
brother, v isual l y
scan n i ng h is bod y. H e d i d n't
loo k gay, he d i d n't act
gay an d as m uch as I real l y
d i d n't care it w as sti l l
so hard to bel ieve that m y
brother w as actual l y
attracted to men. M y brother
w as a joc k , he
p layed footbal l an d w as
actual l y good at it, al l h is
frien ds w ere gu ys an d he
d i d n't care about ho w he
loo k ed.
Some days he'd get out of bed
an d grab
clothes of f the f loor, thro w
them on an d leave for
school.
A l l m y l i fe I thought gay gu ys
w ere al l f lam boyant,
do
their hair i n the morn i ng, p ut
ma k e u p on an d
say th i ngs l i k e O h. M y. G od.
A n d N o she d i d n't.
You k no w , on l y had
girl frien ds an d giggled w hen a
hot gu y w al k ed b y, tried to
change their voice i nto
a h igh-p itched screech. B ut
T rent's not l i k e that,
he is the com p lete op posite, he
acts an d loo ks an d
is l i k e an y other straight man.
H e k no ws
everyth i ng there is to k no w
about cars an d truc ks;
I mean he actual l y reb u i lt h is
o w n 72 C hev y al l b y
h i msel f!
I th i n k that's w h y the fact that
m y brother is gay
b ugs me so m uch. Usual l y
w hen someone close to
you is gay, you k no w it, even
i f they don't ad m it
it, you an d everyone else sti l l
k no w the truth.
T hough, it's not l i k e that w ith
T rent; i f I w ere to
even try to tel l an yone T rent's
gay no one w ou l d
bel ieve me, I dou bt an yone
w ou l d even bel ieve
h i m i f he sai d it!
" W hat are you th i n k i ng
about?" T rent voice bro k e
m y thought, he sou n ded sad
an d yet h is voice w as
al most
sha k y. " A good w ay to get ri d
of me, to
d iso w n your gay brother?"
" O h sh ut u p T rent!" I sai d as I
thre w a si de p i l lo w
from the couch at h i m. "Stop
feel i ng sorry for
yoursel f, you're gay! W hat's
the b ig deal? H al f the
pop u lation of the w orl d is gay
no w adays!"
" D oes that means you're gay
to?" T rent sai d
jo k i ngl y, " T hat w ou l d ma k e it
so m uch easier to
tel l mom an d dad. I can be
l i k e, ' M om, D ad...I'm
gay.' T hen they'l l say, 'W hat?!'
A n d I'l l be l i k e 'So
is Stasee!!' an d poi nt m y f i nger
as you al l
dramatical l y."
I started laugh i ng at m y
brother's lame jo k e
before ad d i ng, " N o T rent I'm
not gay, remem ber
I'm D amen's 'C raaaz z z z y
Stal k k k errrr!'" I sai d
sarcastical l y.
" O k ay, Stasee..." Su d den l y h is
voice w ent
com p letel y serious. " I f you
aren't stal k i ng D amen,
then w hat is goi ng on, w h y do
you k eep ask i ng
about h i m an d try i ng to tal k to
h i m at school?"
I com p letel y stop ped laugh i ng
as I stared at m y
brother i n shoc k , I w asn't
expecti ng h i m to ask me
that
an d I had n't deci ded on
w hether or not I
w anted to tel l h i m the truth.
Before I d i d n't w ant
to tel l h i m because I f igured
he'd h u nt D amen
do w n an d k ic k h is ass, b ut
no w that I k no w
T rent's gay I'm pretty sure he
w ou l d n't risk
brea k i ng a nai l j ust to p u nch
some gu y out. I'm
scared to tel l T rent because
from h is reaction
earl ier I'm pretty sure m y
brother l i k es the same
gu y that I do. I don't k no w
ho w he w ou l d react i f
he fou n d out w hat tru l y
hap pened bet w een
D amen an d I.
" C ome on Stasee...Just tel l me,
I'm goi ng to en d
u p f i n d i ng out either w ay an d
I'd rather hear it
from you."
H e had a good poi nt. I
breathed deep l y
su m mon i ng u p enough nerve
to tel l h i m the truth.
" It al l started last Fri day...
w hen D amen w as
stay i ng the n ight here..." I
started before I began
to sp i l l everyth i ng to m y
brother. I tol d h i m
everyth i ng about that fri day
n ight, ho w D amen
w as i n bedroom w aiti ng for
me, ho w he w as gone
i n the morn i ng. I tol d h i m
about the jan itor's
closet, ho w he left me w hen
C an d ise sho w ed u p. I
tol d h i m ho w D amen sho w ed
u p at m y house i n
the m i d d le of the n ight an d
too k me to h is 'secret
spot' w here w e stayed u p al l
n ight tal k i ng. H o w he
em barrassed
me i n front of hal f the school
th is
afternoon an d then ho w I met
Bran don an d K aris.
A fter I f i nal l y f i n ished tel l i ng
h i m everyth i ng rel ief
w ashed over me, it w as the
f irst ti me I had tal k ed
to an yone about D amen an d it
w as q u ite l i berati ng
f i nal l y bei ng ab le to get
everyth i ng of f m y chest. I
loo k ed over at m y brother to
try an d tel l w hat he
w as th i n k i ng although h is face
w as com p letel y
emotion less.
" W eird..." W as h is on l y
response.
" W eird? T hat's al l you have to
say... W hat's
w eird?" I ask ed extremel y
con f used w ith ho w
T rent w as acti ng.
" E veryth i ng, noth i ng you tol d
me sou n ds l i k e the
D amen I k no w ... O ther than
Fri day n ight...B ut
even that, you k no w he has
never spent a w hole
n ight w ith a girl
before... Usual l y he'l l ta k e of f
the
secon d the girl fal ls asleep."
" You're not mad?" I ask ed h i m,
ignori ng h is
ram b l i ng. " I mean... D on't
you... W el l...L i k e h i m?"
T rent laughed, " T hat doesn't
matter, he l i k es girls
an d I don't real l y have a
chance." H e sai d.
" A lthough, I don't l i k e the w ay
that
he... W ait... N ever m i n d."
W hat? W hat w as he j ust about
to say? I thought
w h i le stari ng at m y brother.
H onestl y I hate it
w hen peop le start say i ng
someth i ng an d then
change their m i n d! T hat is so
fric k en an noy i ng!
" W hat w ere you goi ng to say?"
I prod ded h i m.
H e shoo k h is head, " It's not
i m portant."
Fric k that's an noy i ng! I
w anted to scream out.
"So then tel l me."
" N o." H e sai d stern l y, "Just
leave it."
DIN G D O N G D A N G, DIN G
D O N G D A N G!
"Saved b y the Bel l!" T rent sai d
w h i le j u m p i ng u p
of f the couch an d ru n n i ng for
the door.
" T reeeen n ntttt!" I yel led
ru n n i ng after h i m.
I reached h i m j ust as he
opened the front door to
reveal a short l ittle b lon d w ith
bou ncy curls. A
large sm i le covered her cute
l ittle face, t w o smal l
d i m p les on each en d of her
sm i le. " H ey T rent!"
She w aved at h i m
enth usiastical l y, " M i n d i f I
steal
Stasee for a b it, w e're hav i ng a
girls n ight,
w atch i ng O ne T ree H i l l."
" N o, p lease ta k e her a w ay!"
T rent loo k ed over at
me an d sm i led.
" You can joi n us i f you'd l i k e
T rent, though I dou bt
you'd l i k e O ne T ree H i l l."
K aris sai d w h i le laugh i ng
at her o w n jo k e.
I d i d n't laugh though I w as too
b usy w on deri ng i f
m y brother real l y w ou l d l i k e
that sho w . I mean
before it w ou l d never even
cross m y m i n d, b ut
no w , may be he d i d...
" A sho w about a b u nch of
w h i ney girls... N o...I
th i n k I'l l pass." H e actual l y
sou n ded a b it d isgusted
b y the thought, " You girls
have f u n though." H e
w ent bac k i nto the house. A s I
w atched h i m
d isap pear I deci ded I'd f i n d
out later w hat he w as
about to say.
" Read y?" K aris ask ed poi nti ng
to w ard her Yel lo w
2009 V ol ksw agen beetle.
" For sure!" I rep l ied w h i le
fol lo w i ng her over to
her car, " C ute car, honestl y it
su its you!"
" T han ks, m y parents got it for
me for m y
b irth day."
" I f you have your o w n car,
w h y w ere you w al k i ng
today? You k no w w hen
Bran don forgot to p ic k you
u p after l u nch." I ask ed her
w h i le getti ng i nto the
passenger's seat.
" U rg... T han ks for rem i n d i ng
me, I can't bel ieve he
j ust left me there! 'E f f i n d i n k ."
K aris sai d as she
p ut her k eys i n the ign ition
an d started u p the car.
" H e usual l y p ic ks me u p i n the
morn i ng for school.
T he H urtz's l i ve next door to
me so it's poi ntless
for us to both bri ng our
veh icles."
" O h great..." I spo k e
sarcastical l y as I p u l led m y
seatbelt on an d w e p u l led out
of the dri ve w ay.
" You l i ve l i k e right next to
them? l i k e-"
"-L i k e j u m p out of m y
bedroom w i n do w an d lan d
i n their house right next to
them? Y u p." K aris sai d
f i n ish i ng m y sentence an d
answ eri ng m y q uestion
at the same ti me.
I sighed lou d l y w h i le th i n k i ng
about ho w may be
goi ng to K aris' house w as a
bad i dea. I d i d n't w ant
to see D amen an d I had a good
feel i ng that it w as
goi ng to be nearl y i m possi b le
w ith h i m on l y bei ng
t w o feet a w ay.
" Is that o k ay, Stasee?" K aris
ask ed me, f i nal l y
real i z i ng m y su d den change i n
mood.
" Yah, that's f i ne." I l ied.
T he rest of the ri de to K aris'
house w as pretty
u neventf u l; w e tal k ed about
school an d u pcom i ng
projects for our classes. It w as
about a f i fteen
m i n ute dri ve from m y house
to K aris' an d as w e
turned onto her street I
recogn i zed right a w ay
w h ich of the houses w ere
Bran don an d D amen's.
It w as a large w h ite house
w ith b lac k l i n i ngs an d
roof. T he house had a
com p lete circu lar dri ve w ay
w ith a large fou ntai n i n the
m i d d le of it. T here
w as a large three door garage
that seemed to be
com p letel y useless seei ng as
both D amen's G M C
truc k an d Bran don's S U V w ere
both par k ed on the
dri ve w ay.
Just m y l uc k , I thought to
m ysel f, they're both
home.
K aris p u l led i nto the dri ve w ay
of the house right
next to the w h ite one. H er
house w asn't nearl y as
b ig though it w as j ust as n ice.
T he w hole house
w as a pale bro w n color made
of stucco w ith large
w i n do ws coveri ng the front of
the house. T here
w as a large balcon y on the
secon d f loor that w ent
from one si de of the house to
the other.
" W e're here!" K aris turned to
loo k at me a large
sm i le p lastered across her face.
" W e have ten
m i n utes before O ne T ree H i l l
starts."
" O h, w el l then w e better
h urry!" I sai d try i ng to
m i m ic K aris' excitement w hen
i n real ity I w asn't
very m uch of a O ne T ree H i l l
fan. T he on l y reason
I agreed to go w as because
accord i ng to K aris 'I
d i d n't have a choice i n the
matter'.
I felt a l ittle bad, it w as the
f irst ti me K aris an d I
w ere actual l y hangi ng out an d
may be m y on l y
chance i n hav i ng a real frien d
an d alread y I w as
basi ng our frien dsh i p on l ies.
W el l, tech n ical l y I
d i d n't l ie to her, she never
ask ed me i f I w atched
or l i k ed the sho w . I'm
guessi ng she j ust assu med
seei ng as al most al l the girls at
our school loved it.
W ith i n secon ds w e w ere
i nsi de K aris' house, sitti ng
on
the couch i n the l i v i ng room
w ith bo w ls of
popcorn i n our han ds. " A l most
on!!" K aris clap ped
her han ds together exciti ngl y
before turn i ng her
attention to me.
She w as pretty i ng m uch
j u m p i ng on the couch
w ith excitement an d yet I w as
j ust sitti ng there
bored. I w as j ust starti ng to
ya w n w hen I real i zed
K aris w as sti l l stari ng at me
w ith narro w ed eyes.
" W hat?" I ask ed,
d u m b fou n ded to the fact that
K aris w as ob v iousl y con f used
w ith m y lac k of
excitement. " O h! Yah...u m m,
yay? O ne T ree
H i l l...yay!"
O k ay...So I'l l def i n itel y never
ma k e it as an actor.
" O k ay? T hat w as the w orse
attem pt at
excitement ever!" K aris stated
w h i le laugh i ng at
m y academ y a w ard
performance " You've never
w atched the sho w have you?"
" N ot real l y...an d b y that I
mean no." I f i nal l y
ad m itted, " N ever."
" Real l y!?" an d the excited
K aris w as bac k , " O h m y
G od! You're goi ng to love it,
seriousl y!" She w as
bac k to j u m p i ng u p an d do w n
on the couch, every
so often k noc k i ng popcorn out
of the bo w l an d
onto the f loor.
So, the sho w w asn't as bad as I
thought it w as
goi ng to be. I mean there w ere
a b it of w h i ney
girls l i k e m y brother sai d b ut
al l i n al l it w as pretty
i nteresti ng. It w as n ice to
w atch a sho w w ith
al most as m uch drama as m y
o w n l i fe - it made
me feel a l ittle b it better.
" You k no w , H ai ley an d
N athan's relationsh i p, l i k e
i n the begi n n i ng k i n d of
rem i n ds me of you an d
D amen's." K aris sai d as the
prev ie ws for next
w ee k came to an en d.
" T here is no relationsh i p
bet w een me an d
D amen." I i n formed her.
" Yah, k eep tel l i ng yoursel f
that." K aris sai d w h i le
p laci ng her em pty bo w l on the
cof fee tab le. " B ut
you l i k e h i m right?"
" W h y does that matter?" I
q uestioned her.
" Because w e're frien ds no w
an d frien ds tel l each
other stu f f l i k e that." She
conti n ued to hassle me
for the truth.
" O k ay...Sure, I k i n d of l i k e
h i m b ut he's sti l l a
d ic k!" I b l urted out the truth
came out.
A sw eet l ittle 'a w w w so cute'
sm i le covered K aris'
face, " H e's on l y l i k e that
because he's not used to
actual l y hav i ng feel i ngs for
someone."
" Yah...Sure that's w hat it is." I
spo k e to her l i k e
she w as craz y an d i n need of
med ication or at the
very least sedation!
H e's a sen ior at h igh school,
he's had ton nes of
girls an d yet K aris w as sitti ng
there try i ng to tel l
me he w as bei ng 'sh y'? I'm
sure that w as the
reason, I mean usual l y w hen
you l i k e someone an d
you're sh y you deci de to
em barrass them i n front
of hal f the school, that's
al w ays the best w ay to
go about it.
" O k ay, enough about me an d
m y love l i fe, w ho do
you l i k e?" I deci ded to change
the su b ject.
" N o one!" K aris al most yel led
as her chee ks
f l ushed deep red.
" You're l y i ng!" I accused her.
"So w hat, I'm not tel l i ng you!"
She fol ded her
arms an d turned her head
a w ay from me.
" You have to... W e're frien ds
no w an d frien ds tel l
each other stu f f l i k e that." I
sm i led, k no w i ng she
had to tel l me no w seei ng as
that w as her o w n
ru le.
" F i ne!" She turned to face me,
her face sti l l as red
as an ap p le. " I l i k e...." G rab bed
the p i l lo w from
the couch an d pressed it
agai nst her face sh y l y.
She spo k e i nto the p i l lo w
m u f f l i ng her w ords,
" Brh u fen."
I too k the p i l lo w from her,
" W hat w as that?!" I
sm i led.
" Bran don!" She f i nal l y sai d
clearl y as m y eyes
w i dened an d I stared at her i n
shoc k .

C hapter 13
" Bran don?" I f i nal l y ask ed, " I
thought, w el l, I
thought you t w o w ere j ust
frien ds?"
" W e are...that's the th i ng." She
sai d as her eyes
fel l to the grou n d. I cou l d see
the sad ness w ith i n
them as I began to u n derstan d
her situation a
l ittle better. " W e are j ust
frien ds. W e've al w ays
been frien ds. H e barel y
notices me, it's l i k e he
on l y sees me as...l i k e...I don't
k no w ...one of the
gu ys?"
" O h." W as al l I cou l d manage
to say. I mean w hat
w as I su p pose to say? It's not
l i k e I w as used to
that k i n d of th i ng. I've never
had to try an d
console someone before. B ut
at the same ti me I
k ne w ho w she felt, to l i k e a
gu y w ho d i d n't care,
d i d n't feel the same w ay. I sa w
the sorro w i n her
eyes an d I felt that same
emotion w ith i n me.
K aris attem pted to brush it of f,
" It's o k ay," I gave
her a sk eptical loo k . " Real l y it
is, it's been l i k e th is
for years an d I've gro w n used
to it." A lthough she
sou n ded con f i dent her eyes
betrayed her angu ish.
" H ave you ever tol d h i m?" I
q uestioned her.
She shoo k her head before
spea k i ng i n barel y a
w h isper, " N o..."
I conti n ued to i nterrogate her,
" W h y not?"
" You w ou l d n't u n derstan d,"
she m u m b led.
" T ry me."
She sighed heav i l y, " H ave you
ever l i k ed a gu y so
m uch that w hen you w ere
apart your heart j ust
aches, l i k e you w ere an ad d ict
an d he w as your
drug? B ut w hen you w ere
together you k ne w you
cou l d never tru l y be together,
sure you cou l d tal k ,
laugh an d hang out b ut you
cou l d never actual l y
be i n h is arms. D o you
u n derstan d ho w m uch pai n
it causes me to love a gu y an d
never k no w
w hether or not he loves me
bac k?"
I al most w anted to nod m y
head at her b ut I
managed to prevent m ysel f
from doi ng so. It w as
l i k e K aris had been actual l y
spea k i ng on m y
behal f, l i k e she had been
relay i ng everyth i ng I
tru l y felt deep do w n. T he
strong feel i ngs I felt
to w ards D amen that I al w ays
h i d, I al w ays tried to
avoi d
an d ignore them hop i ng they
w ou l d go
a w ay. N o matter w hat D amen
d i d to me, ho w
m uch he em barrassed or h urt
me the good
memories al w ays seemed to
overpo w er the bad.
" T hen w h y don't you j ust tel l
h i m ho w you feel?" I
ask ed, k no w i ng that it w as
easier sai d than done.
" Because!" She cried out, her
eyes began to sw el l
u p w ith tears. " I'm scared! It
h urts so m uch
th i n k i ng that he m ight not feel
the same w ay that
I
do, j ust i magi n i ng that tears
me u p i nsi de. C an
you i magi ne ho w m uch more
it w ou l d h urt i f I
k ne w for sure that he d i d n't
feel the same w ay? It
w ou l d destroy me!"
" B ut w hat i f he does feel the
same w ay?" I sai d
as m y voice became h igher, I
w as com p letel y
shoc k ed that she had l i k ed
Bran don for so long
an d sti l l managed to k eep it a
secret.
" T hat's not a risk I'm w i l l i ng
to ta k e." She si m p l y
rep l ied.
T he sou n d of the front door
open i ng forced both
K aris an d I to turn arou n d to
see w ho the i ntru der
w as.
Spea k of the dev i l, I thought
to m ysel f as
Bran don's tal l an d sl ightl y
lean bod y ap peared i n
the door w ay. H e w al k ed over
to us before f lop p i ng
do w n
on the op posite couch as me
an d K aris. A
concerned loo k f lashed across
h is face as he
noticed K aris' sl ightl y w atery
eyes.
" W hat's w rong?" H e i nstantl y
sat u p an d loo k ed at
her, h is face f u l l of concern.
" N oth i ng." K aris l ied, " O ne
T ree H i l l got to me
agai n."
I f I had n't tru l y k no w n w hat
w as b uggi ng K aris I
w ou l d have fal len for her l ie
as w el l. For such a
cute, i n nocent loo k i ng girl she
w as an
accom p l ished l iar! O r may be it
w as her cute,
i n nocent loo ks that made her
such a good l iar,
either w ay the concern that
once covered
Bran don's face had van ished
an d w as rep laced
w ith a sm ug l ittle sm ir k .
" A w w w! You mean I m issed
O ne T ree H i l l." H is
voice w as f u l l of sarcasm.
" D am n."
" O h sh ut u p!" K aris rol led her
eyes ob v iousl y she
caught on to the sarcasm.
" W hat?" H e preten ded to act
of fen ded jo k i ngl y, " I
thought you sai d it w as on at
n i ne o'cloc k , not
eight!" H is voice had a h i nt of
h u mour i n it clearl y
teasi ng K aris.
" H onestl y Bran don?" K aris
tried to sou n d
d isap poi nted i n h i m b ut her
voice had that same
l ight-hearted ness to it. " E very
w ee k it's on at
eight an d every w ee k I tel l you
that an d yet every
w ee k you someho w manage to
sho w u p an exact
hour after right? C oi nci dence,
I th i n k not!"
I sat i n si lence w atch i ng K aris
an d Bran don
conti n uousl y harass an d tease
each other. I also
noticed some f l irtatious eye
rol ls an d cute sm ug
sm ir ks d irected to w ards each
other. I cou l d n't
bel ieve ho w I never noticed it
before, the w ay
they tal k ed to each other an d
loo k ed at each
other.
M ay be th is afternoon I had n't
real l y noticed it
because Bran don had been
pay i ng so m uch
attention to me. I thought
may be it w as because
he l i k ed me because may be he
had been
i nterested i n me. It w asn't
u nti l no w that I real i zed
he w as on l y bei ng n ice to try
an d cheer me u p.
M ay be he j ust felt bad for
w hat h is brother had
done earl ier an d felt ob l igated
to ma k e it u p to
me.
E ither w ay, as I sat there
w atch i ng K aris an d
Bran don one th i ng w as for
sure; the feel i ngs K aris
had to w ards Bran don w ere
def i n itel y m utual. I
also had a feel i ng that it
w asn't goi ng to be very
m uch longer before they both
ad m itted their
feel i ngs to each other.
W hether I had to force it
out of them or not, it w as
goi ng to hap pen. It w as
j ust p lai n stu p i d for them both
to be h urti ng so
m uch w h i le th i n k i ng the other
d i d n't feel the
same w ay w hen it w as
ob v ious they both w anted
more than a frien dsh i p.
" Earth to Stasee!" K aris' voice
came from beh i n d
me w h ich w as w eird because I
sw ear she w as j ust
sitti ng besi de me on l y
moments ago.
I turned arou n d to see both
K aris an d Bran don
stan d i ng beh i n d the couch
stari ng do w n at me
expectantl y. " W hat?" I ask ed as
con f usion covered
m y face.
Bran don laughed, " M an Stasee
w hen you zone out,
you real l y zone out, H u h?"
I sti l l stared u p at them
com p letel y con f used. I
honestl y d i d n't remem ber
them mov i ng or even
tal k i ng to me for that matter.
B ut then agai n I
w as pretty lost i n m y o w n
thoughts an d Bran don
w as right, w hen I zone out I
barel y notice
someone stan d i ng right i n
front of me yel l i ng i n
m y face.
K aris rol led her eyes at me
w h i le a sm i l i ng laugh
ap peared on her face. She
w al k ed arou n d the
couch, p utti ng her arm
through m i ne an d p u l l i ng
me u p to m y feet. " W e sai d
w ere goi ng. I need to
ta k e of f before m y M om gets
home, w h ich..." I
fol lo w ed her eyes to a large
cloc k the h u ng j ust
above the T . V , "Shou l d be an y
ti me no w , so let's
go!"
A t f irst I w as k i n d of con f used
as to w h y w e w ere
leav i ng before her M om got
home b ut I deci ded
not to ask , i nstead I j ust
fol lo w ed the t w o out of
the l i v i ng room, do w n the hal l
an d out the front
door. W e w ere j ust w al k i ng
do w n her front door
steps w hen a Red C ad i l lac
p u l led i nto the dri ve w ay
b loc k i ng K aris' beetle i n.
"Sh it..." Both K aris an d
Bran don sai d u n der their
breath.
" W el l so m uch for our great
escape p lan. N o w ,
presenti ng the w rath of M rs.
K i n d le." Bran don sai d
loo k i ng over at K aris an d then
sm i l i ng, " H ave f u n,
I'm out of here!" H e ran do w n
the stairs an d
j u m p i ng over the w h ite fence
that separated K aris
an d Bran don's houses.
A tal l b lon de lad y got out of
the car; she w as
w eari ng a long b lac k sk irt that
w ent j ust past her
k nees w ith a match i ng b lac k
b louse. H er hair w as
p u l led bac k i nto a perfect b u n
w ith on l y a fe w
stran ds of hair that fel l
gracef u l l y along her face.
She had a gentle, k i n d face
though there w as
someth i ng i n her eyes that
sho w ed she w asn't
very hap p y at the moment.
" U h-oh." K aris sai d w h i le
grab b i ng me b y the arm
an d p u l l i ng me w ith her as she
tried to ma k e a ru n
for it.
" K aris K i n d le!" K aris' M om's
voice echoed through
the air as K aris came to an
abru pt stop.
K aris turned arou n d w h i le
forci ng a sm i le on her
face, " Yah mom?"
" D on't try to act stu p i d K aris
K i n d le, you k no w
w hat th is is about!" H er mom
f i nal l y reached us as
she
stood i n front of K aris - her
han ds on her
h i ps, barel y even
ac k no w ledgi ng m y presence.
" W here w ere you today after
your morn i ng
classes you ng lad y!?" She
ask ed stern l y w ith a
very parental tone.
" I w as hav i ng l u nch." K aris
sai d honestl y,
although K aris' response on l y
seemed to anger her
mother more.
" K aris! You k no w w hat I mean
an d because of
your l i p you are grou n ded! N o
T . V , no v i deo
games, no com p uter or p hone!
N o w get i nsi de the
house!" I cou l d see her
M other's anger boi l i ng u p
an d her face w as f l ushed red
i n anger.
" B ut I have to dri ve Stasee
home!" K aris w h i ned.
T hen as i f f i nal l y notici ng m y
presence, K aris'
mother loo k ed over to me an d
the anger
i m med iatel y d isap peared from
her face.
" O h dear, I'm sorry you had to
w itness that. I'm
K aren K i n d le, K aris' mother."
She i ntrod uced
hersel f as the k i n d face I sa w
at f irst w as bac k .
I sm i led pol itel y bac k at her
before someth i ng at
the corner of m y eye caught
m y attention. I
loo k ed over to w ard Bran don
an d D amen's house
an d sa w h i m, there stan d i ng at
the fence loo k i ng
over at us as beauti f u l as ever.
H e had h is
amaz i ng l ittle sm ir k p lastered
to h is face an d h is
eyes w ere loo k i ng at me an d
on l y me. W hen I f irst
noticed h i m m y heart raced -
h is stu n n i ng
ap pearance left me breath less
l i k e it al w ays d i d
though the feel i ng w as
q u ic k l y rep laced b y anger.
" I can dri ve Stasee home M rs.
K i n d le." D amen's
h usk y voice brought ti ngles
through m y bod y.
" O h." K aren sai d, turn i ng her
attention over to
D amen, " A re you sure?"
" For sure, that w on't be a
prob lem." H is charm i ng
personal ity seemed to w or k
w on ders on everyone.
" O h than k you D amen." K aren
sai d sm i l i ng
sw eetl y at h i m before turn i ng
her attention bac k
to K aris. " K aris, i n the house
no w!" K aris turned to
me w ith
a sy m pathetic loo k before
turn i ng arou n d
an d stom p i ng bac k i nto her
house.
K aren fol lo w ed her b ut before
she entered the
house she loo k ed bac k over at
D amen, " You real l y
are an angel, H u n n y." T hen
their front door closed
beh i n d her.
A ngel!? Yah right, more l i k e
L uci fer h i msel f - here
i n the f lesh, I thought to
m ysel f.
I turned bac k to w ard D amen,
com p letel y con f used
as w hat had j ust hap pened.
D i d he honestl y th i n k
I w as goi ng to get i nto a
veh icle w ith h i m? Sure he
w as
u n den iab l y gorgeous an d had
com p lete
possession of m y heart b ut
that d i d n't ma k e me
hate h i m an y less. I k no w ho w
contrad icti ng that
sou n ded b ut it w as the god
honest truth. I hated
h i m for everyth i ng he had
done to me an d yet I
sti l l cou l d n't con v i nce m y
heart to feel the same
w ay. It's sort of l i k e that song,
" I hate everyth i ng
about you " b y T hree D ays
G race.
I loo k ed a w ay from h i m as I
began to w al k do w n
K aris' dri ve w ay, slo w l y
th i n k i ng through m y
options. W hen I f i nal l y ma k e
it to the en d of the
dri ve w ay an d the en d of the
fence, I had made u p
m y m i n d. I nstead of turn i ng
right; w h ich w ou l d
lead me to D amen's house, I
turned left an d began
to w al k do w n the si de w al k . I
k ne w it w as a long
w al k from here to m y house,
b ut it w as better
than ri d i ng w ith D amen.
I had to get over h i m, I had to
forget about h i m,
he w as an asshole an d I
honestl y cou l d n't han d le
an y more heartache. I stared
do w n the long street
hop i ng that I w as goi ng the
right w ay. I had n't
pai d m uch attention to ho w
K aris had got here
from m y house so I w as pretty
m uch lost b ut
bei ng lost w as better than
bei ng stuc k i n a veh icle
w ith D amen.
Su d den l y I heard the sou n d of
a veh icle slo w i ng
do w n beh i n d me an d I d i d n't
need to turn arou n d
to see w ho it w as. I had a
feel i ng he w asn't goi ng
to gi ve u p so q u ic k l y an d yet a
girl can sti l l w ish.
H is voice came to m y ears an d
as it al w ays d i d
sen d more ti ngles through m y
bod y that I tried
hard to ignore.
"Stasee, are you seriousl y
goi ng to try an d w al k
home?" D amen cal led out
from h is truc k . I d i d n't
say an yth i ng bac k , nor d i d I
even turn arou n d to
ac k no w ledge h i m, I j ust
conti n ued to w al k .
" C ome on Stasee, do you even
k no w ho w to get to
your house?"
N o, I thought to m ysel f b ut
j ust k ept w al k i ng.
" Loo k , it's getti ng dar k out an d
I don't w ant you
w al k i ng home alone! It's more
than a t w o hour
w al k!"
I shrie k ed i n frustration
before f i nal l y turn i ng
arou n d to face h i m, he slo w ed
the truc k do w n to a
stop
i n front of me. " W h y do you
care i f I w al k
home alone? W h y do you care
about me at al l!?"
H e loo k ed com p letel y ta k en
bac k b y m y w ords.
" W ha-w hat?" H e stuttered,
w h ich w as w eird I
don't th i n k I have ever heard
D amen H urtz
stutter, honestl y I d i d n't th i n k
that w as possi b le.
Su d den l y anger seemed to
rush through D amen as
he raised h is voice. " W h y do I
care about you!?
Stasee that is the stu p i dest
q uestion I've ever
heard you say, you k no w I
care about you! W h y
w ou l d I have brought you to
m y p lace on the cl i f f,
m y personal p lace i f I d i d n't
care about you?"
" W el l, i f you do care about me
so m uch then you
sure have a w eird w ay of
sho w i ng it!" I yel led
bac k .
T he anger van ished from h is
face as I w atched
h i m ta k e a deep breath.
"Please Stasee, j ust get
i nto the truc k an d I'l l dri ve
you home, p lease." H e
p leaded.
T here w as so m uch si ncerity
i n h is voice an d the
w ay he loo k ed at me it w as
i m possi b le to den y
h i m an y longer. It bro k e m y
heart to see h i m so
desperate, to see the sad ness
i n h is eyes as he
p leaded for me to get i nto the
truc k . F i nal l y I gave
i n as I w al k ed over to the
truc k I stared h i m do w n
an d sai d, "Just a ri de home,
that's it. N oth i ng
more." H e nod ded.
I w al k ed arou n d the truc k an d
got i nto the
passenger's si de, venti ng m y
anger b y i m maturel y
slam m i ng the door sh ut after I
got i n.
" H ey, the truc k d i d n't do
an yth i ng w rong." D amen
tried jo k i ng w ith a sm i le on
h is face.
" D on't tal k to me, j ust dri ve!" I
sai d crossl y. H e
nod ded.
W e drove the w hole w ay to m y
house i n si lence. I
w as seeth i ng w ith u nreleased
anger. I cou l d feel
h i m f l ic k eri ng glances over at
me d uri ng the dri ve.
I crossed m y arms an d j ust
conti n ued to stare out
the w i n do w hol d i ng bac k
tears. A fter f i fteen of
the longest agon i z i ng m i n utes
of m y l i fe w e f i nal l y
p u l led u p to m y house.
I w as j ust about to grab the
door han d le to open
the door w hen D amen f i nal l y
spo k e. "Stasee." H e
w h ispered.
" W hat!?" I screeched bac k w ith
anger sti l l f lo w i ng
through me.
" Y-you're not goi ng to forgi ve
me th is ti me...are
you?" H e f i nal l y managed to
cho k e out.
T he anger i n me evaporated as
I loo k ed u p to the
perfect master p iece i n the
dri ver's seat. " I don't
k no w , D amen." I spo k e
q u ietl y, " You k issed
C an d ise right after tel l i ng
everyone I had some
psycho crush on you."
H e stared at me i n shoc k an d it
seemed to ta k e
h i m a w h i le before he got h is
voice bac k , " W hat? I
never k issed
her! She k issed me an d I
p ushed her
a w ay an d tol d her to k eep her
S. T . D l i ps a w ay
from me!"
O k ay, that had al most made
me laugh. I honestl y
had to cover m y mouth to
prevent m ysel f from
sho w i ng h i m that I actual l y
thought it w as f u n n y.
H e reached over to me an d
p laced h is han d on m y
bare shou l der w h ich shot an
electrical current
through m y bod y. I loo k ed
over at h i m an d he
q u ic k l y removed h is han d,
even though m y bod y
sti l l v i brated i n ti ngles from
h is touch.
H e conti n ued to spea k , " A n d I
k no w! I'm
com p letel y stu p i d for say i ng
that to them, I don't
k no w w hat hap pens to me at
school. I real l y do
care about you Stasee an d I
sw ear I'l l change. I
j ust...I don't k no w w hat w ou l d
peop le th i n k i f they
fou n d out about us.
I'm eighteen an d your sixteen.
Peop le m ight th i n k it's
perverted an d w rong." H e
sighed lou d l y, " B ut I don't care
an y more, I don't
care w hat they th i n k! T he on l y
th i ng I care about
is you. I w ant to be w ith you
an d I don't care i f
the w hole w orl d k no ws it!"
I reached for the door han d le
as m y eyes fou n d
their w ay to the grou n d, I
cou l d feel the tears
begi n n i ng to w el l u p i n m y
eyes. I opened the door
as one si ngle tear rol led do w n
m y chee k , " T o
answ er your q uestion D amen,
I don't k no w i f I can
forgi ve you or not. I don't
k no w i f I'l l ever be ab le
to trust you agai n." I
w h ispered q u ietl y as I got
out of the truc k an d let the
door cl ic k sh ut beh i n d
me.
I cou l d feel m y heart
shatteri ng i nto ti n y p ieces,
not because of D amen th is
ti me b ut because of
m ysel f. Because of w hat I had
j ust sai d, it bro k e
m y heart to spea k those w ords
an d as I ran
to w ards m y house I felt hot
ri v u lets of tears rol l
do w n m y face.

C hapter 14

I loo k ed i n the m irror an d w as

com p letel y stu n ned.
I had never i magi ned i n al l m y
l i fe w hat l ittle
ef fort it w ou l d ta k e to ma k e
me loo k l i k e th is. I
had gotten so used to w eari ng
ol d baggy clothes
an d th i ngs that covered m y
bod y an d h i d m y
curves. I had n't even noticed
ho w m uch m y bod y
had developed i n the last fe w
years.
I w as w eari ng a pair of jeans
m y au ntie had
bought for me last C hristmas
that I had never
touched before. T hey w ere h i p
h uggi ng sk i n n y
jeans that w ere very lo w an d
j ust covered m y
b utt. T hey w ere tight agai nst
m y h i ps an d th ighs
ma k i ng m y short legs loo k
long an d th i n. I w ore a
b lac k belt that matched
perfectl y w ith m y f igure
h uggi ng b lac k halter top that
en ded a fe w i nches
above m y navel. T he halter top
had b u i lt i n
su p port for m y boobs w h ich
made m y cleavage
loo k amaz i ng i n the lo w-cut
sh irt. I felt l i k e a
su permodel!
I d i d n't over do the ma k e-u p
to ma k e me loo k l i k e
a street w hore or an yth i ng b ut
the l ight ma k e-u p
I d i d w ear real l y accentuated
m y features. T he
l ight p i n k b l ush I w ore made
m y h igh chee k bones
loo k erotic an d the deep
charcoal eye shado w I
had p ut on made m y l ight
bro w n eyes pop out. I
w ore no eye l i ner b ut I d i d p ut
on mascara to ad d
length to m y eye lashes. T he
natural coloured
l i pstic k I w ore someho w
managed to ma k e m y l i ps
loo k b igger an d more
A ngel i na Jol ie sty le b ut not
q u ite as i ntense.
T hen there w as m y hair - for
once it w asn't po k er
straight an d coveri ng m y face.
I nstead I had it i n
b ig w aves that f lo w ed
perfectl y do w n to m y bac k .
Fram i ng m y face gi v i ng me a
more con f i dent loo k
com pared to m y usual h i d i ng
beh i n d m y hair sh y
w ai f ap pearance.
It w as hard to bel ieve the girl
loo k i ng bac k at me
i n the m irror w as i n fact...me?
She d i d n't resem b le
me i n an y w ay an d yet every
move I made she
m i m ic k ed. B ut it w as me. It
w as the ne w an d
i m proved Stasee A n ne Rai n ie,
the girl w ho w ou l d
not ta k e an y b u l lsh it from an y
gu y. T he girl w ho
w ou l d sho w w hat exactl y he
m issed out on. Pay-
Bac k is a b itch.
"Stasee! A re you com i ng or are
you p lan n i ng on
w al k i ng to school?" I heard
m y brother yel l at me
from do w n the stairs.
" O k , I'm com i ng!" I yel led
bac k at h i m as a l ittle
sm ir k ap peared on m y face.
" A lright Stasee, w hat is u p
w ith the ne w loo k?"
T rent ask ed me as w e p u l led
out of the dri ve w ay.
E ver si nce I had come do w n
the stairs he had
been stari ng at me w ith w el l, a
w eird loo k on h is
face.
" W hat do you mean?" I tried to
p lay d u m b.
" You k no w w hat I mean." H e
sai d stern l y, " You
loo k l i k e you've come straight
out of a p lay boy
magaz i ne." H e shot me an
accusi ng glance.
" H ey!" I gave h i m an i nsu lted
loo k though I k i n d of
too k
it as a com p l i ment. M ost of the
girls i n
p lay boy magaz i nes w ere hot
ch ic ks! M ission
accom p l ished I thought ev i l l y
to m ysel f. " I'm
w eari ng clothes!"
" A n d they loo k l i k e they are
pai nted on you - you
m ight as w el l be na k ed!" H e
f u med.
" You're j ust jealous." I tossed
m y hair i n the air
dramatical l y an d gri n ned at
h i m.
W e p u l led u p to K ev i n's house
as T rent began to
laugh an d he sai d
sarcastical l y, " Yah, that's it
Stasee, I'm so jealous of m y
l ittle sister!" A n d
rol led h is eyes an d stuc k h is
tongue out at me.
Boys are so i m mature!
" You w i l l be w hen you see al l
the attention I get."
I sai d jo k i ngl y an d he j ust
sm i led bac k .
K ev i n w al k ed u p to the truc k
an d opened the
passenger si de door b ut
i nstead of j ust j u m p i ng
i nto the truc k l i k e he usual l y
d i d he stop ped dead
i n h is trac ks as h is eyes fel l on
me. H e gasped an d
I w atched as h is eyes w i dened
an d h is mouth
drop ped. L i k e a ty p ical gu y he
recovered w ith
macho man grace an d
i m med iatel y h is eyes w ere
scan n i ng m y bod y from head
to toe. H e d i d n't
move at al l, j ust too k it al l i n.
T he on l y sou n d that
escaped h is l i ps w as, " W oah."
I raised m y eyebro w at h i m
an d sai d, " You better
close your mouth before you
get your gross
pervert drool al l over T rent's
truc k , I dou bt he'd
ap preciate that very m uch.
A n d b y the w ay i f you
k eep loo k i ng at me l i k e that
I'm goi ng to have to
charge you a v ie w i ng fee for
the v isual for your
span k ban k!" T hen I w i n k ed
an d d i d perfectl y
executed hair toss.
D am n, I'm good! I thought to
m ysel f.
" Yah d u de! W hat the hel l's
w rong w ith you?"
T rent ask ed as he stared at h is
frien d utterl y
ap pal led at h is d isp lay of
le w d ness.
A s i f f i nal l y real i z i ng w hat he
w as doi ng K ev i n
closed h is mouth, gave h is
head a sha k e an d
j u m ped i nto the truc k . T he
w hole ri de from
K ev i n's house to school w as
total l y creep y! K ev i n
sat there an d j ust stared at me
pretty m uch the
w hole ri de to school. W e w ere
j ust p u l l i ng u p to
the school w hen T rent f i nal l y
noticed K ev i n
com p letel y eye-f uc k i ng me.
" H ey d u de, w hat is your
prob lem th is morn i ng?"
T rent al most yel led try i ng to
get K ev i n's attention.
K ev i n's head snap ped u p as he
loo k ed over at
T rent real i z i ng for the f irst
ti me w here he w as
an d w ho he w as w ith. H e
cleared h is throat,
" O h...Sorry, it's j ust..." H e
loo k ed bac k over to me
as h is eyes once agai n scan ned
m y bod y. " D am n
Stasee, You are loo k i ng hot!"
I sm i led bac k at K ev i n try i ng
to be sed ucti ve
though m y brother k i l led it
w hen he sai d, " W hat
the hel l d u de? T hat's m y l ittle
sister!" A n d slap ped
K ev i n u psi de the head!
"Sorry M an." K ev i n p ut u p h is
han ds defensi vel y,
" b ut it's true." H e sai d the last
part u n der h is
breath before he scram b led
out of the truc k to
avoi d another shot to the head.
I sl i d over to the passenger's
seat an d w as j ust
about to j u m p do w n as w el l
w hen su d den l y K ev i n
ap peared i n front of me.
" H ere, let me hel p you."
H e of fered. H e grab bed me b y
the w aist an d
p u l led me out of the truc k an d
p laced me do w n on
the grou n d.
I stared at h i m a l ittle shoc k ed
at f irst, b ut cou l d
you b lame me? I honestl y w as
not used to th is
k i n d of attention! A n d to be
honest I got of f on
the po w er! I also k ne w that
w ith m y ne w loo k I
had to revam p m y personal ity.
I needed to act
more l i k e C an d ise b ut less
l i k e a sl ut an d more l i k e
a tease. A f i ne l i ne to be sure
b ut one I w as
con f i dent I w ou l d master.
T hat had been m y p lan
si nce I w o k e u p th is morn i ng,
I w as goi ng to
change an d ta k e part i n the
w orl d out there. N o
longer w ou l d I be that sh y girl
isolati ng hersel f i n
her o w n l ittle b u b b le.
" M y H ero," I sai d teasi ngl y to
K ev i n.
" G ag!" M y brother jo k ed as he
met u p w ith me
an d K ev i n at the front of the
truc k .
I w h ispered bac k on l y lou d
enough for T rent to
hear me, " You're j ust jealous."
H e gro w led i n
frustration b ut there w as a
p lay f u l sm i le on h is
face.
" I guess there's no poi nt to
stal k h i m an y more,
h u h Stasee?" K ev i n sai d
poi nti ng over to w ard the
school.
I loo k ed over at w hat he w as
poi nti ng at an d
al most lost m y ab i l ity to stay
'cool' an d 'con f i dent'.
D amen w as w al k i ng to w ard
us forci ng m y heart to
si n k an d m y bod y to heat u p
nervousl y. I cou l d
hear the rap i d th u m ps i nsi de
m y ear as m y heart
beat faster an d faster.
" H ey Stasee." D amen cal led
out, " C an w e tal k?"
H is voice made the hair on m y
nec k stan d u p, b ut
i n the good w ay.
I w as j ust about to say
someth i ng l i k e 'not right
no w D amen,' or real l y
an yth i ng that w ou l d be
deemed stuc k-u p enough
w hen someth i ng moved
w ith speed i n front of m y
eyes. I heard a lou d
smac k i ng sou n d that q u ic k l y
turned i nto a
cru nch i ng noise. It too k m y
eyes a cou p le secon ds
to ad j ust to everyth i ng an d m y
m i n d to process
w hat had j ust hap pened. T rent
w as stan d i ng i n
front of me sti l l sha k i ng w ith
rage, w h i le D amen
lai d spra w led on the
grou n d...out col d!
" T rent!" I yel led w h i le try i ng
to get past h i m to
D amen b ut he hel d me bac k . I
w atched D amen's
eyes slo w l y open b ut on l y one
eye seemed to be
ab le to com p lete the task . H is
right eye w as
alread y begi n n i ng to sw el l
sh ut.
" T a k e th is as a w arn i ng
D amen H urtz, i f you ever
go near m y sister agai n I sw ear
to G od a b lac k eye
w i l l be the least of your
w orries!" T rent yel led
do w n to h i m. H is arms w ere
w rap ped arou n d me
hol d i ng me bac k b ut I had
f i nal l y stop ped
struggl i ng an d j ust stood there
w atch i ng. H al f the
school had no w surrou n ded us
an d began to riot.
W hat a mob scene! I thought
w h i le w atch i ng hal f
the stu dents stari ng i n shoc k ,
w h i le the other hal f
w ere scream i ng:
'F I G H T , F I G H T , F I G H T!'
" I k no w ...I'm sorry!" D amen
yel led out. H e w as
sti l l lay i ng prone on the
grou n d b ut had no w
p ushed h i msel f u p w ith h is
han ds.
"Sorry for w hat D amen?"
T rent yel led bac k . I
cou l d see the w h ite hot anger
i n m y brother's
eyes, "Starti ng ru mours about
her arou n d school?
You're apologies mean
noth i ng, j ust stay the hel l
a w ay from her, got it!?" T rent's
breath i ng w as
rasp y he w as sha k i ng i n anger.
" D amen H urtz, T rent Rai n ie!"
A lou d voice bro k e
through al l the com motion as
everyone turned
arou n d to see our pri nci pal
p ush i ng through the
cro w d. E veryone began to
scatter, leav i ng on l y
me, T rent an d D amen
stan d i ng i n the cleari ng.
D amen hal f l y i ng-hal f sitti ng
on the grou n d w ith a
p u f f y eye an d T rent w as
stan d i ng above h i m w ith
bru ised k n uc k les.
" M y of f ice, no w!" M r.
V erloc k's voice echoed
lou d l y al l arou n d us. H is ja w
w as clenched i n anger
as he stared at f irst m y brother
an d then D amen.
" I don't suspect you had
an yth i ng to do w ith th is
M iss Rai n ie?" M r. V erloc k
ask ed w h i le loo k i ng over
at me. A t f irst he w as a l ittle
ta k en abac k b y m y
altered ap pearance.
" N o!" D amen an d T rent yel led
i n u n ison.
" F i ne, you t w o...go, no w!"
W ith that the trio
d isap peared leav i ng me
stan d i ng i n the par k i ng lot
alone, sti l l a b it sha k en u p.
"Sta-Stasee?" A voice I had
recentl y gotten q u ite
accustomed to reached m y ears
an d soothed me
do w n. I turned to face K aris
w ith Bran don
fol lo w i ng closel y beh i n d her.
" O h m y G od! It is
you, hol y! Loo k at you. You
loo k hot, you sexy
thang! Love the hair an d your-
"
" Is it true your bro j ust
k noc k ed m i ne out?! T hat's
craz y! Your brother m ust be
pretty strong I mean
it w as w ou l d ta k e an elep hant
to k noc k D amen
do w n." Bran don i nterru pted
K aris.
" O h yah! W e j ust sa w K ath y
an d Shei la from class
an d they tol d us T rent came
out of no w here an d
j ust smashed D amen i n the
face!" K aris cut i n, her
voice
fast an d excited l i k e it al w ays
w as. W eird l y
enough, Bran don had that
same tone to h is voice
as w el l.
" Yah an d Shei la sai d that
D amen w as l y i ng on the
grou n d ba w l i ng h is eyes out!
A n d-"
K aris cut Bran don of f agai n,
" A n d M r. V erloc k
came an d tossed k i ds out of
h is w ay!"
" W oah! O k ay, cal m do w n you
t w o!" I had to cut
them both of f. T hey w ere
eagerl y stari ng at me
w ith antici pation. " F irst of al l,
yes T rent p u nched
D amen i n the face-I'm pretty
sure he's goi ng to
have an ugl y bad b lac k eye,
secon d l y-no, D amen
w as not cry i ng an d M r.
V erloc k d i d come b ut he
d i d n't toss an y k i ds arou n d." I
too k a breath an d
conti n ued. " T w o m i n utes later
an d alread y the
truth has been com p letel y
d istorted!"
Bran don su d den l y loo k ed
bored an d K aris loo k ed
d isap poi nted. " A w w ...I th i n k
the fa k e truth w as
more f u n." K aris w h i ned. I
laughed at her before
w e began to w al k to w ard the
school.
A s w e w al k ed through the
school yard an d u p to
the front doors I cou l d n't hel p
b ut noticed al l the
peop le that w ere stari ng at us.
E very si ngle person
we
w al k ed b y w ou l d loo k at us
an d then w h isper
someth i ng to their frien ds an d
then they w ou l d al l
stare. It w as starti ng to ma k e
me feel
u ncom fortab le. I felt
v u l nerab le an d exposed as I
tried p u l l i ng m y bel l y sh irt
do w n b y the hem to
cover m y bare sk i n. E very ti me
I attem pted to p u l l
m y sh irt do w n it w as ma k i ng
the top portion of
m y sh irt expose more of m y
cleavage.
Yeah that w on't ma k e peop le
stare m uch! I rol led
m y eyes.
" W h y is everyone stari ng at
us?" I w h ispered to
K aris as w e w al k ed i nto the
school.
" Us?" K aris laughed, " T heir
not stari ng at us, their
stari ng at you!"
" W hat-me?" W ith m y ne w loo k
I ban k ed on that it
w ou l d
get D amen's attention b ut I
honestl y d i d n't
expect th is. I w as so concerned
w ith getti ng h is
attention an d ignori ng h i m, I
d i d n't p lan for the
attention from the others.
" Yah, loo k ..." K aris poi nted at
a grou p of girls w ho
w ere loo k i ng at us, " T he girls
are glari ng at you
w ith jealousy. W h i le the
boys..." K aris poi nted to
a grou p of boys w ho loo k ed
l i k e they w ere
p ush i ng their chests out. " A re
chec k i ng you out
an d try i ng to get your
attention."
" T hey are j ust em barrassi ng
themsel ves..." I sai d
as I w atched a boy try to p u f f
u p an d w i n k at me;
I sh u d dered.
Yeah that w as n ice! Ic k!
" T hat is j ust normal male vs.
female behav iour,
you may have gone to school
here your w hole l i fe
b ut you m ight as w el l be the
' H ot N e w G irl'." K aris
stated.
" W el l then w h y aren't you
bei ng a craz y jealous
b itch an d w h y isn't Bran don
acti ng l i k e a drool i ng
zom b ie?" I q uestioned her.
" Because I k no w your
personal ity an d I k no w you
aren't some sl utty home
w rec k er." K aris w i n k ed at
me.
" L i k e C an d ise." W e both
loo k ed at each other an d
laughed.
" A n d I'm not a drool i ng
Z om b ie because I'm not a
shal lo w asshole." Bran don
sai d f i nal l y j u m p i ng i nto
the con versation. " I w i l l ad m it
Stasee, you do loo k
real l y pretty-b ut loo ks aren't
everyth i ng so don't
let al l th is go to your head."
"She w on't!" K aris defen ded
me, " B ut w e got to
go an d get read y for class,
w e'l l see you at l u nch?"
" Yah for sure!" I rep l ied. K aris
an d Bran don both
w aved b ye to me as they
headed i n the op posite
d irection.
I tried to ignore al l the peop le
stari ng at me as I
made m y w ay through the
school an d to m y
loc k er. I w as glad to f i n d that
the hal l w ay w here
m y loc k er w as had been pretty
m uch em pty,
w h ich w asn't m uch of a
surprise. M y loc k er w asn't
very far from the pri nci pal's
of f ice an d most
stu dents tried to stay as far
a w ay from M r.
V erloc k as possi b le.
12-32-08, I thought to m ysel f as
I began to u n loc k
my
loc k er. I opened the door an d
began to
scrou nge arou n d for m y
boo ks.
"So the ru mours are true." A n
am used sou n d i ng
voice startled me as I loo k
beh i n d m y loc k er door
an d sa w D erre k . H e w as
another one of m y
brother's frien ds, one of the
gu ys that h u ng out
w ith T rent, K ev i n an d D amen.
D erre k w as a lot
d i f ferent than them though, he
w as the captai n
of the footbal l team an d the
most stuc k-u p ass
hole of them al l! H e w as such
a pri ma don na! H e
d i d n't tal k to an yone at school
u n less you p layed
footbal l or i f you w ere a
cheerleader. H e thought
he w as Brad Pitt an d w ou l d n't
even w aste h is
energy w ith an y of the girls at
K ersha H igh. E very
girl thro ws hersel f at h i m an d
he merel y
sw ooshes them a w ay l i k e an
an noy i ng l ittle f l y.
So w hen I closed m y loc k er
door an d sa w D erre k
lean i ng u p agai nst the loc k ers,
h is arms fol ded
agai nst h is chest eyei ng me
u p, I w as a b it
surprised. H e w as tal ler than
most of the gu ys at
school an d h is m uscles b u lged
out of an yth i ng he
w ore. H e honestl y loo k ed l i k e
he w as on steroi ds
b ut everyone k ne w he w asn't,
he w as j ust so
obsessed w ith h i msel f that he
spen d every spare
secon d he had w or k i ng out.
H e had perfect b lac k
hair an d gorgeous grey eyes, i f
it w eren't for the
fact that he w as so
u n bel ievab l y h uge then he
w ou l d probab l y be less scary
an d m uch sexier.
" W el l, w el l, i f it isn't D erre k
H arley. I'm sorry b ut
I'm lac k i ng footbal l sk i l ls, also
I'm not an d never
w i l l be a cheerleader so you'd
better jet before
an yone sees you tal k i ng to
me." I sai d to h i m as I
opened m y loc k er agai n an d
b loc k ed h is v ie w from
me.
H e laughed lou d l y as he p ush
m y loc k er sh ut an d
moved i n front of it so I
cou l d n't get i n. " I never
expected Stasee Rai n ie to be
so j u dgmental, aren't
you
su p posed to be one of those
sw eet-n-sh y
ty pe of girls?"
I rol led m y eyes an d si m p l y
rep l ied, "Peop le
change."
"So I see," I w atched h i m as
h is eyes began to
survey m y bod y w ith a hal f
sm ir k gl ued to h is
face. " N ever w ou l d have
thought T rent's l ittle
sister cou l d loo k so sexy."
I cou l d feel m y face ta k e on
the form of d isgust.
" Is there a reason w h y you're
here because i f not
cou l d you p lease move so I can
grab m y boo ks an d
get to class?"
" Feisty, I l i k e it." H e then
w i n k ed at me.
" E w w ." I began to turn arou n d
b ut as I d i d so I
sa w D amen com i ng out of the
Pri nci pal's of f ice.
Plan A i n motion, I thought as
I turned bac k
to w ards D erre k . " I mean,
O w w-la-la?"
O k ay, that's sou n ded stu p i d
b ut w ho cares it d i d n't
real l y
loo k l i k e D erre k w as pay i ng
m uch attention
to w hat I w as say i ng seei ng as
he w as too b usy
stari ng at m y boobs.
" A n y w ays, I w as actual l y
goi ng to i n v ite you to m y
party ton ight. You can be m y
'Special' guest." H e
conti n ued to have h is
con versation w ith m y boobs.
A gai n he w i n k ed.
E w w , I thought to m ysel f.
H o w do girls see h i m as
attracti ve, he is far too
m uscu lar an d has the
b iggest ego! " It's a school
n ight an d I k no w I'm
goi ng to have a lot of
home w or k ." I sai d that part
w ithout th i n k i ng; it w as the
real Stasee Rai n ie
com i ng out.
I heard D amen's footsteps
getti ng closer, " I mean,
yah w hatever as long as there's
alcohol." I then
f l irtatiousl y ran m y han d
across D erre k's chest,
"an d you."
E W-B A R F! D i d I say that? I
may have to boi l m y
han d later!
" I'l l be there...So you better
come Stasee, I'l l be
w aiti ng for you." W ith that he
moved a w ay from
m y loc k er, grab bed m y ass,
patted it an d
sw aggered a w ay.
I felt d isgusted an d total l y
v iolated as I opened m y
loc k er an d made gaggi ng
noises.
" H ey D amen, w ait u p man!" I
turned arou n d to see
D erre k try i ng to catch u p to
D amen.
"Scre w of f d u de!" I heard
D amen yel l at D erre k
before he d isap peared do w n
another hal l w ay.
W el l, ap parentl y
I made D amen jealous, I
thought
to m ysel f, m ission
accom p l ished! I leaned agai nst
m y loc k er, gathered m y boo ks
slam med m y loc k er
sh ut an d al most sk i p ped to
class.

C hapter 15

" W hat!? O h m y god, seriousl y?

D erre k H arley
i n v ited you to h is party...You
k no w it's l i k e a
sen iors on l y party an d
someti mes may be one or
t w o j u n ior cheerleaders are
al lo w ed i n b ut I've
never, ever heard of an y
sop homores bei ng
i n v ited!" K aris ram b led on.
O nce the l u nch bel l rang I met
K aris an d Bran don
i n the cafeteria, w e fou n d an
em pty tab le to sit at
after getti ng our food. I tol d
them about the l ittle
scene w ith D erre k an d m y
A cadem y A w ard
w i n n i ng performance. D i d
they gi ve out a w ards for
not
barf i ng w hen touch i ng a sl i m y
gu y I
w on dered? K aris w ent craz y
an d began rap i d l y
f iri ng q uestions. I d i d n't
u n derstan d an y of her
q uestions because she w ent
su person ic an d on l y
dogs cou l d hear her. Sheesh!
Bran don w as
com p letel y u n i nterested an d
w h i p ped out a
" T ransformers" com ic boo k
an d ate h is l u nch. It
ta k es a brave man to eat
spaghetti w ithout
w eari ng a nap k i n i n h is sh irt.
" W el l, it doesn't real l y matter.
I'm not goi ng." I
rep l ied dry l y as I too k a for k
f u l l of spaghetti an d
shoved it i n m y mouth. I tried
k eep i ng m y eyes on
either m y food, K aris or
Bran don because an yti me
I loo k ed arou n d the cafeteria
al l I sa w w ere eyes
stari ng bac k at me. It had
alread y been hal f a day
an d everyone w as sti l l acti ng
the same w ay,
w h ich w as either glari ng or
drool i ng.
" W hat!?" K aris yel led. I f some
peop le w eren't
stari ng at us before they
def i n itel y w ere no w . She
lo w ered her voice, " You have
to go...I mean i f you
do everyone i n school w i l l be
so jealous of you.
You w ou l d be l i k e a G od dess!"
" Yes K aris because I real l y
need more attention." I
sai d w ith sarcasm before
loo k i ng over at Bran don
for h is op i n ion. K aris loo k ed
at h i m too, although
he seemed so engrossed i n h is
com ic boo k he
d i d n't even noticed u nti l K aris
p u nched h i m i n the
shou l der.
" O uch-W hat w as that for-" H e
loo k u p at K aris
an d then to me. " O h... U m, w el l
it is a school n ight
so-" I sa w K aris snea k i l y p i nch
h is arm. " O uch! I
mean...Yah Stasee, you shou l d
go."
I laughed, "Smooth
K aris... V ery smooth."
" O h...You sa w that... T ee-hee"
She sm i led her
com p letel y i n nocent b ut
k no w i ngl y ev i l sm i le.
" A n y w ays, i f I do go-I'm not
goi ng alone!" I f i nal l y
gave i n.
" O f course not! M e an d
Bran don w i l l come w ith
you!" K aris loo k ed at Bran don
an d sm i led.
" N o!" Bran don sai d w h i le
loo k i ng at K aris an d then
loo k i ng bac k at me. " N o I'm
not." H e loo k ed over
at K aris agai n. " You can't ma k e
me!"
~*~
" Yah b ut there is no reason
w h y I have to go. I
mean I'm sure you an d Stasee
w i l l have so m uch
f u n there. You don't need
me...you'l l have al l
those sen ior footbal l p layers to
hang of f of." I
heard Bran don's fai nt voice
argu i ng w ith K aris.
" Yes I do!" K aris stated. " R ight
Stasee?! W e need
Bran don w ith us! It j ust
w ou l d n't be the same!"
H er voice reached me lou d
an d clear.
I opened the bathroom door
an d loo k ed i nto m y
bedroom w here Bran don w as
stan d i ng at the foot
of m y bed i n front of K aris
w ith h is arms fol ded.
K aris w as sitti ng on m y bed
loo k i ng u p at h i m w ith
a teasi ngl y cute sm i le
p lastered to her face, w h ich
i nstantl y sent a jolt a jealousy
through me. E ven
though both K aris an d
Bran don w ere com p letel y
ob l i v ious to each other's
feel i ngs, the more w e al l
h u ng out, the more I sa w the
h i d den love bet w een
them. It w as the k i n d of love I
longed for, the k i n d
w here
they needed no one i n the
w orl d b ut
themsel ves.
" N o it w ou l d n't, you have to
come Bran don...or I'm
not goi ng" I
sai d jo k i ngl y, even though i n
my mind
I w as secretl y hop i ng Bran don
w ou l d bac k out an d
force K aris an d I to stay home
as w el l.
"Sh ush, both of you!" K aris
j u m ped to her feet
an d p lay f u l l y p ushed
Bran don. " You t w o are both
goi ng. W e are al l goi ng to th is
party ton ight
w hether you gu ys l i k e it or
not!"
"Si nce w hen d i d you turn i nto
a b ig party an i mal?"
Bran don q uestioned her.
"Si nce I real i zed al l of our
l i ves are com p letel y
bori ng, isolated an d f u l l of
v i deo games, com ic
boo ks, novels an d home w or k .
It's ti me for us to
have f u n for once i n our
l i ves...th us w e are goi ng
to th is party ton ight." A s K aris
spo k e she had her
han ds on her h i ps try i ng
desperatel y to sou n d
tough an d deman d i ng; it w as
so cute!
"Spea k for yoursel f." I sai d
w h i le ru m magi ng
through m y closet pray i ng to
the fash ion G ods I
w ou l d f i n d one dress that
w asn't p u f f y, p i n k , or
f u l l of cartoon characters. " I
don't l i ve a bori ng l i fe
an d even i f I d i d, ho w w ou l d
you k no w , you j ust
met me."
" A ctual l y Stasee, you j ust met
me, I've k no w n you
m y w hole l i fe." She stated
matter of factl y, "an d
secon d l y, you've l i ved sixteen
years w ithout an y
frien ds so I'm sorry b ut there
is no w ay your l i fe
cou l d have been at al l
eventf u l."
" U gh... T han ks for rem i n d i ng
me w hat a h uge
loner I am." Su d den l y a sa w
someth i ng b lac k at
the far en d of m y closet. A
dress I had n't seen or
touched si nce m y M om gave it
to me. A p parentl y
it w as the dress she had w orn
out to coc k-tai l
parties. O nce she gre w out of
it she han ded it
do w n to me though I never
i magi ned I w ou l d ever
w ear it.
I felt someone's arms w rap
arou n d m y shou l ders
as I stood there stari ng at the
dress. " B ut you're
not a loner an y more! You have
me an d
Bran don...an d...ap parentl y
D erre k too!" K aris sai d
i n m y ear, I cou l d hear
Bran don i n the bac k grou n d
begi n to laugh. K aris
u n w rap ped her arms from
arou n d me as she turned to
face Bran don. " W hat's
so w rong about D erre k!?"
" W hat? You mean other than
the fact that he
loo ks l i k e a giant on the nad
j u ice?"
Bran don tested her, " W el l let's
see, he is a
com p lete ass, he treats girls
l i k e sh it, an d he-"
" H e sou n ds j ust l i k e your
brother, b ut you sti l l
love h i m." K aris fought bac k .
" E nough you gu ys!" I cut the
argu ment short as I
turned arou n d to face them,
the b lac k dress i n m y
arms. " N oth i ng is goi ng on
w ith me an d D erre k ,
o k ay?"
" H a- H a." Bran don tau nted as
he poi nted h is f i nger
at K aris an d stuc k out h is
tongue.
" O h gro w u p Bran don!" K aris
bar k ed at h i m as she
w al k ed over to me, " w hat's
that?" she ask ed as
her eyes scan ned the dress i n
m y arms.
I loo k ed do w n at the b lac k
dress, debati ng on
w hether or not I even w anted
to sho w it to them.
I k ne w i f K aris sa w it she
w ou l d force me to w ear
it agai nst m y w i l l, yet I d i d
w ant to w ear it...I
th i n k? I loo k ed u p at K aris to
f i n d her stic k i ng her
tongue out at Bran don w ith
her right han d's i n dex
f i nger an d th u m b i n an L
shape, ob v iousl y stan d i ng
for 'Loser'.
" K aris!" I sai d w h i le laugh i ng,
" You tel l Bran don to
gro w u p an d yet you're
stan d i ng here doi ng the
same th i ng."
Bran don started laugh i ng next
as K aris turned to
face me w ith a surprised loo k
on her face. " You
w eren't su p posed to see me
doi ng that." She
ad m itted as a sm i le crept onto
her face.
I loo k ed do w n at m y w atch,
7:40p m. " O k ay, are
you gu ys read y? I f w e're goi ng
w e shou l d real l y
get a move on."
" I'm not...I'l l j ust stay here."
Bran don sai d as he
sat do w n on m y bed. A large
sm i le crossed h is
face, h is perfect pearl w h ite
teeth sh i m meri ng
u n derneath m y bedroom l ight.
" You w ish m ister!" K aris sai d
w h i le ru n n i ng over to
the
bed an d j u m p i ng u p on it
forci ng Bran don to
bou nce u p an d do w n. " W e're
read y Stais, are
you?"
I hel d u p the l ittle b lac k dress,
anal y z i ng it one
more ti me. " A l most...I j ust
need to p ut th is on."
~*~
W e p u l led u p to D erre k's
house i n Bran don's b lac k
S U V an d w el l, the house w as
pac k ed. W e cou l d
barel y f i n d a p lace to par k i n
h is overl y large
dri ve w ay, w h ich actual l y
resem b led a par k i ng lot.
D erre k's house w as h uge, one
of the b iggest i n al l
of M cLen nan, w h ich is
another reason for D erre k's
overl y conceited attitu de. H is
father is the o w ner
an d C E O of a m u l i national
corporation. H is mother
is a famous artist, w i n ner of
prestigious a w ards
an d w hose w or k ranges
starti ng from 10k i n price.
T he best w ay to descri be
D erre k's house w ou l d be
that it's a mansion, w h ich is
say i ng a lot seei ng as
M cLen nan is more of a rich
fol k to w n. W e al l gre w
u p w ith large houses,
everyth i ng gi ven to us an d a
lac k of parental su perv ision.
T hough there are a
fe w exceptions, l i k e m y
fam i l y, m y parents are
a w ay on b usi ness most of the
ti me though they
have strict ru les. T hey at least
ma k e an ef fort to
parent us w hen or i f they ever
f i n d out w e bro k e a
ru le.
" N o par k i ng, I guess w e better
j ust go." Bran don
sai d i nterru pti ng m y thoughts.
H e tried to sou n d
d isap poi nted b ut I cou l d hear
the hope creep i ng i n
h is voice.
" Yah there is! R ight there,
bet w een the red
C orvette an d b l ue M ustang."
K aris sai d exciti ngl y
poi nti ng her f i nger eagerl y at
the em pty spot.
Both Bran don an d I sighed i n
d isap poi ntment as he
p u l led
i nto the par k i ng spot an d
turned of f the
engi ne.
I cou l d hear m usic b lari ng
from D erre k's house as I
loo k ed
over sa w a b u nch of sen iors
from school
stan d i ng on h is porch passi ng
arou n d a pretty
large bottle an d ch uggi ng it
straight. T hen on the
steps w ere more teens passi ng
arou n d w hat
loo k ed l i k e a bong. T he most
d isturb i ng sight w as
one k i d k neel i ng i n the grass
p u k i ng w h i le h is
frien d stood b y laugh i ng.
M y gut w as tel l i ng me th is
w as a bad i dea an d m y
nerves began to act u p. " I don't
k no w K aris,
may be w e shou l d j ust leave. I
don't th i n k I w ant
to w ear th is dress either so
let's j ust go-"
" N o" She cut me of f, " Let's j ust
go i n there, have
a cou p le dri n ks-loosen u p a
b it an d i n an hour i f
you gu ys sti l l w ant to go...then
w e'l l leave. O k ay?"
" F i ne." Bran don agreed.
" A lright..." I rep l ied
after w ards.
W e al l opened our doors
slo w l y manoeu vri ng out
of the veh icle w h i le try i ng not
to h it the cars on
each si de of the S U V . I turned
arou n d to see m y
ref lection i n the b l ue
m ustang's w i n do w . I nstantl y
I w as rem i n ded of T rent's
com ment about me
loo k i ng l i k e I belonged i n the
p lay boy mags. I left
m y hair i n its f lo w i ng w aves
though I ad ded a l ittle
more to m y
ma k e-u p, changi ng it from
casual to a
more party goi ng loo k .
T hen there w as m y dress, it
w as a short sk irted
dress w ith a ' V ' shaped halter
that p ushed m y
breasts together. T he bac k of
the dress had a lo w
p l u ngi ng bac k less sty le to it,
w h ich left m y w hole
bac k bare. I w ore b lac k
sti letto's that matched m y
dress perfectl y an d made m y
legs loo k longer. I
w i l l ad m it, the w hole outf it
w as a l ittle over the
top reveal i ng an d may be a
touch sk an k y b ut at
the same ti me it w as sexy.
" You have to let me borro w
that dress someti me,
I love it!" K aris came from
arou n d the veh icle w ith
Bran don fol lo w i ng beh i n d
her.
K aris' outf it w as a lot
more... w el l, K aris-ie.
T hough her dress w as shorter
than m i ne an d w as
com p letel y strap less, the l ight
p i n k color of it
made her loo k cute rather than
sk an k y. T hat w as
one th i ng I i dol i zed K aris for;
she cou l d w ear the
most reveal i ng clothes b ut sti l l
managed to ma k e
them loo k cute. I mean w ho
does that? I f I'd w orn
her get u p I w ou l d have been
arrested for
i n decent exposure!
" You can borro w it right no w ,
I'm goi ng home!" I
turned arou n d to try an d get
bac k i nto the S U V
w hen K aris grab bed m y han d
an d p u l led me a w ay.
" I n your dreams M issy, let's
go." She sai d w h i le
w al k i ng to w ard the house an d
p u l l i ng me beh i n d
her.
Bran don came to m y si de as
w e al l w al k ed across
the h uge par k i ng lot sty led
dri ve w ay. " T hat's one
th i ng you're goi ng to have to
get use to... K aris'
stu b born ness." Bran don spo k e
w ith am usement.
" O r I can j ust change m y m i n d
about becom i ng
frien ds w ith you t w o an d
ma k e a ru n for it." I
jo k ed.
" You w ish!" K aris joi ned i n.
" Yah, sorry Stasee b ut you're
stuc k w ith us no w ."
Bran don ad ded an d I sm i led.
Sixteen years I had never had
one frien d an d i n
t w o days I made frien ds w ith
probab l y t w o of the
best peop le i n M cLen nan.
T hey w eren't stuc k u p,
they w ere f u n, they d i d n't care
so m uch w hat
peop le thought an d I cou l d
alread y tel l they w ere
the ty pe of frien ds you cou l d
trust w ith your l i fe.

C hapter 16
W e began to ascen d the stairs
lead i ng to D erre k's
house w hen w e w ere abru ptl y
stop ped b y C an d ise.
She stood on the top steps
w ith T i f fan y on one
si de of her an d Sam m y on the
other. C an d ise had
her arms crossed loo k i ng
do w n at us w ith her
an noy i ng scru nched u p face.
She k i n d of rem i n ded
me of a ferret.
" A n d w hat do you looosers
th i n k you're doi ng
here?" She ask ed us w h i le
T i f fan y an d Sam m y
m i m ic k ed her stuc k-u p facial
expression.
" W e're com i ng to the party
C an d ise, so move."
K aris j u m ped i n before I cou l d
say an yth i ng.
" H a! I don't th i n k so. T h is is a
sen ior's on l y k i n d of
party."
" W e w ere i n v ited." K aris sai d
m i m ic k i ng their
stuc k-u p tone.
" I don't care w ho i n v ited you,
you're not w elcome
here." C an d ise i nsisted.
" D erre k i n v ited us an d th is is
h is house so get the
hel l out of the w ay C an d ise!" I
f i nal l y j u m ped i n as
I too k another step u p. I w as
no w stan d i ng face to
face w ith C an d ise, stari ng at
her w ith glari ng
eyes.
She loo k ed at me w ith
am usement, " O h h loo k
here girls, Sh y-loner girl
th i n ks she's tough." She
laughed as T i f fan y an d
Sam m y joi ned i n fol lo w i ng
an yth i ng C an d ise sai d l i k e
t w o obed ient lap dogs.
" W el l, f irst of al l l ittle girl,
D erre k w ou l d never be
caught dead tal k i ng to a
sop homore never m i n d
i n v iti ng three of them to h is
party."
T he front door opened as the
noise from i nsi de
surrou n ded us, peop le's
laughter, m usic, joy f u l
yel l i ng; al l the sou n ds that
i n d icated a teen party.
W e al l loo k ed over to the door
an d sa w D erre k
com i ng out of the house. H e
w as w eari ng the
same clothes he had w orn at
school today. B l ue
jeans w ith a Pittsb urgh
Steelers hooded sw eat
sh irt on an d even though I
w ou l d have dro w ned i n
that sw eater it w as tight
agai nst h is overl y large
m uscles. A t th is poi nt
everyone sitti ng on the
porch w as no w w atch i ng us
closel y.
" Your right, C an d ise." D erre k
sai d i n h is deep l y
lo w voice. " I d i d n't i n v ite
those three sop homores
here." H e paused for dramatic
ef fect.
" I k ne w it-" C an d ise began
before D erre k caught
her of f.
" I i n v ited Stasee here. W h y the
short-stu f f an d
nerd boy came is beyon d me."
D erre k sai d w h i le
eyei ng both K aris an d
Bran don.
" D erre k!" C an d ise sai d w ith
am usement. " You
k no w 'nerd boy' is D amen's
brother!"
Just heari ng h is name brought
a sharp pai n i nto
m y stomach. A nxiousl y I
loo k ed arou n d hop i ng he
w ou l d j ust ap pear out of
no w here. I k ne w it w as a
tad psychotic, I mean I w as
su p posed to be try i ng
to get over h i m an d yet he w as
the on l y th i ng I
cou l d th i n k about. H e w as the
on l y reason I even
came to th is party, w ish i ng
an d hop i ng that
may be he w ou l d be here.
M ay be I'd be ab le to at
least see h i m i f not an yth i ng
else.
" I f uc k i ng don't care!" D erre k
rep l ied to C an d ise
ma k i ng her giggle.
" A n d you k no w w e're
stan d i ng right here!"
Bran don an nou nced angri l y as
both C an d ise an d
D erre k loo k ed bac k do w n at
Bran don w ith d isgust.
Seriousl y, those t w o w ere
perfect for each other,
both the most stuc k-u p, 'th i n k
they're the best'
k i ds i n M cLen nan.
" W hatever, w e're leav i ng!" I
sai d through gritted
teeth. " Let's go gu ys."
" W ait!" D erre k cal led out. " You
don't have to
leave Stasee, I i n v ited you!"
H e sai d it l i k e it w as a
good th i ng, l i k e I w anted to be
there an d w ou l d
d itch m y frien ds j ust to go to
h is 'party'.
G od, the nerve of some
peop le! I thought angri l y.
I turned arou n d to face h i m,
" I'm sorry D erre k , b ut
it's either al l of us, or none of
us."
H e loo k ed over at the sen iors
w atch i ng us an d
then at C an d ise w ho had the
'Yah-right-l i k e-he'l l-
fal l-for-that-one' loo k on her
face. D erre k then
loo k ed bac k at me, " F i ne, you
gu ys can al l come."
C an d ise's mouth drop ped as
she turned to loo k at
D erre k , " B ut D errrre k k k k ..."
She w h i ned.
"Sh ut u p C an d ise! F uc k you're
an noy i ng!"
I too k one step to w ard the
house before stop p i ng
an d loo k i ng bac k u p at
D erre k . " A n d say you're
sorry to m y frien ds."
" W hat?!" H e snap ped bac k .
"Say you're sorry for cal l i ng
K aris 'short stu f f' an d
Bran don 'nerd boy', or to hel l
w ith it... W e're
leav i ng." I chal lenged h i m.
H e rol led h is eyes, " F i ne." H e
loo k ed at both of
them an d then m uttered
" I'msorryo k ay."
E veryone arou n d us gasped i n
surprise as they
stared at D erre k . T hough h is
w ords w ere al l
con nected together ma k i ng it
hard to u n derstan d
them properl y I k ne w it w as
sti l l a h uge
ach ievement to get D erre k to
even remotel y say
it.
C an d ise stared at D erre k
com p letel y stu n ned
before she thre w her han ds i n
the air an d sai d,
" U n bel ievab le!" She ran i nto
the house, T i f fan y
an d Sam m y taggi ng along
beh i n d her.
" You k no w th is is goi ng to
ru i n m y rep! " D erre k
groaned.
" W el l, I guess that's j ust a risk
you're goi ng to
have to ta k e." I sm i led at h i m
w h i le w av i ng K aris
an d Bran don to fol lo w me.
"Party ti me..." I sai d
u nenth usiastical l y.
" I'l l sho w you gu ys arou n d,
fol lo w me." D erre k
sai d as he began to w al k i nto
the house. W e al l
fol lo w ed h i m as the door
opened an d once agai n
w e w ere dro w ned i n the noise.
" It's a pretty b ig
house so try not to get lost!"
D erre k yel led over
the noise.
I k ne w it w as poi ntless to try
an d respon d to h i m,
he w ou l d never hear me so I
j ust nod ded.
D erre k began to scream over
the m usic agai n.
" T here are dri n ks i n the
k itchen, the bar
do w nstairs, there's a k eg i n the
d i n i ng room, some
hard l i q uor i n the cab i net i n
the f irst bedroom u p
the stairs. I f you're p lan n i ng
on getti ng l uc k y
ton ight m y bedroom an d m y
parents are of f l i m its.
T hey are probab l y the on l y
doors loc k ed an d i f I
f i n d an yone i n them, they'l l
get sh it-k ic k ed! G irl or
boy." H e f i nal l y stop ped
yel l i ng as he turned
arou n d an d loo k ed at us. " A n y
q uestions?!" W e al l
shoo k our heads. " I'l l grab us
some dri n ks, w hat
do you w ant?!"
" I'l l j ust have a cooler,
may be?!" I yel led bac k .
" M e too!" K aris ad ded.
D erre k loo k ed at Bran don
w aiti ng for h i m to
answ er, " I'm the D . D ."
Bran don f i nal l y respon ded.
" O k ay? So beer it is!" D erre k
d isap peared before
Bran don cou l d correct h i m.
I f i nal l y too k the ti me to loo k
arou n d an d w el l,
everyone w as w asted. A s m y
eyes peered arou n d
us w hen I real i zed I w asn't
j ust chec k i ng out the
party b ut actual l y loo k i ng for
someone i n
particu lar. E very ti me I sa w a
tal l bro w n haired
boy excitement rose i nsi de me,
although I w as
q u ic k l y d isap poi nted because
it never turned out to
be
h i m. I w anted to forget about
h i m so bad l y
because the constant
d isap poi ntment w as
becom i ng u n bearab le. I shoo k
m y head try i ng to
get h i m out of m y m i n d.
I tried to d istract m ysel f b y
concentrati ng on
someth i ng else. A t the top of
the stairs I sa w a
cou p le boys p utti ng a mattress
do w n an d loo k ed
about read y to ri de it do w n the
stairs; both boys
had a bottle of hard l i q uor i n
their han ds. A t the
bottom of the stairs w as a
grou p of teens (boys
an d girls) cheeri ng an d
encouragi ng them. I n the
corner of the foyer w as a chair
that w as occu p ied
b y a hal f na k ed girl gi v i ng
some gu y a horri b le lap
dance, her rh yth m w as
com p letel y of f from the
m usic an d to an y sober person
she loo k ed fool ish
an d a tad pathetic.
I cou l d sl ightl y see i nto the
d i n i ng room w here a
game of "Stri p Po k er" w as
bei ng p layed. I turned
to K aris an d Bran don w av i ng
them closer to me so
I d i d n't have to yel l, " Is it j ust
me or is th is party
a l ittle..."
" X-rated?" Bran don f i n ished
the sentence for me.
" N o, th is is ho w parties
normal l y are...aren't
they?" K aris q uestioned. " I
mean I see it i n the
mov ies al l the ti me!"
I shoo k m y head try i ng to
k eep m y eyes averted
from al l the hal f na k ed girls,
" Yah, that's j ust it
K aris, you see it i n mov ies! I
don't th i n k normal
teen parties are actual l y th is
bad."
" Yah, b ut Stasee, th is is
M cLen nan. 90% of the
girls here are sl uts!"
Bran don nod ded, " K aris does
have a poi nt."
" W el l...It's sti l l d isgusti ng."
T hey both nod ded i n
agreement though it k i n d of
loo k ed l i k e Bran don
w as en joy i ng the 'v ie w'.
M y head snap ped u p w hen I
felt someone grab m y
ass as I q u ic k l y turned arou n d
to face a dru n k en
gu y. H e w as another sen ior,
not the most pop u lar
of the gu ys b ut he w as sti l l a
footbal l p layer. H e
w as a l ittle ch u b b y w ith
red d ish b urnt coloured
hair, frec k les an d these
p ierci ng green eyes. H is
eyes w ere so red an d b leary
from the vast
q uantities of alcohol he
consu med.
" Excuse me!" I sai d p ush i ng
h is han d a w ay from
me.
" A w w w w , com' on sex...E "
T he boy sl urred.
" I th i n k there's a game of stri p
po k er i n the d i n i ng
room. U m m, w h y don't you go
joi n them."
" N ah h h!" H e yel led before
stu m b l i ng over an d
fal l i ng to the grou n d. T he beer
that w as once i n
h is han d smashed agai nst the
foyer f loor. I cou l d
hear K aris an d Bran don
laugh i ng beh i n d me as I
ignored them an d tried to
of fer h i m m y han d.
" H ere, I'l l hel p you u p." I
i nsisted.
" O rrr!" H e yel led arrogantl y
agai n, " I'l l -h icu p-
hel ps you'p do w n n!" H e then
grab bed m y han d
before I had a chance to
respon d an d p u l led me to
the grou n d as I fel l on top of
h i m. K aris an d
Bran don's laughter roared out
of control as the
boy's arms w rap ped arou n d
m y bod y an d sq ueezed
me
tightl y agai nst h i m as I
struggled hard to get
out of h is grasp.
" L iam!" D erre k's voice echoed
through the foyer
as he marched to w ard us w ith
h is arms f u l l of
dri n ks. " W hat do you th i n k
you're doi ng w ith
Stasee, let her go d u de, she's
m i ne!"
I'm h is? I thought to m ysel f,
I'm def i n itel y not 'h is'
nor am I an yone's, I'm a
person not an ob ject. I
w as goi ng to start yel l i ng at
D erre k for say i ng
that. W hen L iam q u ic k l y let go
of me an d cra w led
a w ay m u m b l i ng apologies to
D erre k , I deci ded to
let it sl i de.
" N o than k you?" D erre k sai d
as he grab bed me b y
m y w aist an d p u l led me u p to
m y feet.
" I'l l th i n k about," I rep l ied
before turn i ng to K aris
an d Bran don. " T han ks b y the
w ay! M y t w o best
frien ds stan d b y an d laugh at
me as I get molested
by
L iam. I have to w ait for the
stuc k-u p asshole
to come along an d save me!"
D erre k ch uc k led, " H ey, I'm
stan d i ng right here."
Bran don b utted i n, " Yah isn't
it f u n to be sh it
tal k ed right i n front of your
face?"
" W hatever D u de, I'm w asted. I
honestl y don't gi ve
a sh it." D erre k then han ded
me a red coloured
cooler, then han ded K aris the
same k i n d an d
passed Bran don a beer.
" You're coc k y l i k e your
brother, h u h?" Bran don
shrugged.
" A n y w ays..." D erre k started
tal k i ng agai n. T hat's
w hen I real i zed the m usic had
cal med do w n a b it -
w e w ere actual l y ab le to tal k
w ithout scream i ng at
each other.
" I'm steal i ng Stasee for a b it,
you t w o go en joy
yoursel f. Loo k arou n d, get
na k ed. I real l y don't
f uc k i ng care."
I loo k ed at D erre k l i k e he w as
n utty, " U m m, don't
I get a say on w hether or not I
w ant to come w ith
you?"
D erre k then loo k ed do w n at
me as i f debati ng,
then f i nal l y he rep l ied w ith
one w ord " N o." H e
w rap ped h is arm arou n d m y
shou l ders an d pretty
m uch dragged me along w ith
h i m. W e w ent
through the d i n i ng room i n
w h ich I real l y w ish w e
had n't al most everyone sitti ng
arou n d the tab le
had next to noth i ng on except
one gu y you loo k ed
rather prou d of h i msel f. H e
m ust have been
w i n n i ng most the games
because the on l y th i ng
he w asn't w eari ng w as h is
sw eater w h i lst
everyone else had p i les of
clothes besi de them.
" D erre k , d u de you got to get i n
on th is!" T he f u l l y
clothed boy cal led out. D erre k
merel y w aved h is
han d d ism issi vel y to h i m as
he brought me
through a door w ay that led to
the k itchen. T he
k itchen w as h uge! It loo k ed
l i k e it belonged i n a
restaurant rather than a home.
A l l the ap p l iances
w ere made of stai n less steel
that matched
perfectl y to the b lac k marb le
cou nter tops.
" D i d you w ant another dri n k?"
D erre k ask ed me
as he w al k ed u p to one of the
t w o fri dges an d
opened it. T he fri dge w as f u l l
of alcohol ic
beverages from top to bottom
an d noth i ng else.
I w as goi ng to say no w hen I
loo k ed do w n an d
real i zed m y cooler had less
than a si p left i n it, so
i nstead I sai d "Sure, same
th i ng." H e grab bed
another red cooler from the
fri dge t w isted of f the
cap before passi ng it to me.
"So w hat, you gu ys
don't eat arou n d here?"
D erre k sneered, " O b v iousl y
w e do." H e rep l ied
snob b y, "the food is i n there."
H e poi nted to the
other fri dge as he rol led h is
eyes at me.
"Stasee?!" A voice I recogn i zed
al l too w el l p ierced
m y ears as I turned arou n d to
be face to face
w ith...m y brother!
" O h... U h, hey T rent." I sai d
nervousl y as I began
to ta k e giant nervous sw igs
from m y cooler.
" W hat the hel l do you th i n k
you're doi ng here?!"
H e yel led at me.
" T rent, cal m do w n. She's w ith
me."
T rent turned to loo k at D erre k
w ith w i de eyes, I
cou l d see the anger boi l i ng u p
i nsi de h i m as h is
han ds began to clench.
" T rent, stop it!" I yel led out,
" I'm sixteen years
ol d!"
" Exactl y Stasee, you're on l y
sixteen years ol d! N o
sixteen year ol ds come to th is
party never m i n d
m y l ittle sister!" H e gro w led as
I ch ugged the last
b it of the dri n k do w n. " A n d
w hat's that i n your
han d?!"
" It's noth i ng!"
" You're dri n k i ng?!" H e
ignored me.
"So w hat you dri n k al l the
ti me!"
" I'm eighteen."
" Yah an d you dran k w hen you
w ere sixteen, too!"
" T h is is
not l i k e you Stasee, w hat has
gotten i nto
you!?" H e deman ded.
" N oth i ng
has gotten i nto me, j ust leave
me
alone!" I yel led at h i m as lou d
as I cou l d, I k ne w
everyone w as no w stari ng at
us. M y chee ks began
to red den w ith both anger an d
em barrassment as
I ran out of the k itchen. I
d i d n't k no w w here I w as
goi ng b ut I conti n ued to ru n
k noc k i ng alread y ti psy
peop le to the f loor as I passed.
I f i nal l y
made it to a set of sl i d i ng glass
doors as I
opened them u p an d ran onto
D erre k's la w n. I w as
guessi ng it w as h is bac k yard
because I d i d n't
recogn i ze it from earl ier. I
conti n ued to ru n do w n
through the grass u nti l I
cou l d n't go an y longer. I
fel l to m y k nees as tears began
to b urst out of m y
eyes - I felt so em barrassment
an d so angry at m y
brother. I w as alread y
depressed about
everyth i ng
goi ng on bet w een me an d
D amen. A l l m y emotions
exp loded at that moment as I
sat k neel i ng i n the
grass ba w l i ng m y eyes out.
"Stasee...are you o k ay?"

C hapter 17

T he sou n d of h is voice
i nstantl y stop ped the tears
from form i ng i n m y eyes, an y
thoughts that w ere
once circu lati ng through m y
m i n d had van ished.
T he moment I loo k ed u p an d
peered i nto h is w arm
bro w n eyes the w orl d arou n d
me d isap peared.
E ven w ith h is right eye
com p letel y bru ised b lac k
he w as sti l l gorgeous. I barel y
even ac k no w ledged
the su d den rap i d th u m p i ng i n
m y chest.
I roamed m y eyes over every
i nch of h is perfectl y
scu l pted bod y. I had been
w aiti ng, w ish i ng to see
h i m al l n ight b ut it w asn't
u nti l that exact moment
d i d I real i ze ho w m uch I
needed h i m, ho w m uch I
craved to be securel y w rap ped
i n h is mascu l i ne
em brace. It felt l i k e m y head
w as getti ng l ight as
i f may be I w as goi ng to pass
out, that's w hen I
real i zed I had been hol d i ng
m y breath - I let it go.
I w atched D amen as he k nelt
do w n besi de me. H is
arm reached out as he cu p ped
m y face i n h is
han d. T he secon d h is sk i n
touched m i ne, m y
w hole bod y exp loded w ith
goose b u m ps as a
sh i ver ran do w n m y sp i ne.
Usi ng h is th u m b he
gentl y w i ped a w ay the left
over tears from m y
chee k as I reached u p an d
pressed m y han d
agai nst h is.
H is other arm sna k ed arou n d
m y nec k an d at f irst
he hesitated for a brief
moment before p u l l i ng me
closer. I cou l d feel h is w arm
breath agai nst m y l i ps
an d
it smelt of sw eet stra w berries
w ith a h i nt of
spearm i nt. T he alcohol that
w as no w circu lati ng
through m y vei ns d ism issed
an y past anger I had
to w ard h i m because at that
moment al l I w anted
w as to press m y l i ps agai nst
h is an d taste that
sw eet i ntoxicati ng smel l that
w as rad iati ng i nsi de
m y brai n an d attac k i ng m y
senses.
I removed m y han d from h is
as I coi led it
u n derneath h is arm an d
grasped on to h is bac k
before p u l l i ng h i m closer to
me. O ur l i ps w ere no w
so close I cou l d feel h is l ightl y
brush agai nst m i ne
w h ich i nstantl y forced m y l i ps
to begi n to ti ngle.
M y bod y began to heat u p
w ith antici pation - it
felt l i k e hours before our l i ps
f i nal l y met although
it w as merel y secon ds. It
started w ith l ight
b utterf l y k isses, our mouths
moved i n sy nc w ith
each other.
T i me seemed to stop as the
w orl d arou n d me had
been forgotten. It w as j ust me
an d D amen at that
moment an d that w as al l I
cared about. T he house
cou l d have been on f ire an d I
w ou l d barel y have
even ac k no w ledged it. T he
sou n ds of cars dri v i ng
an d party-goers laugh i ng,
dru n k en yel l i ng an d
boats hon k i ng an d al l other
sou n ds that normal l y
f i l led the n ight air of
M cLen nan had al l
d isap peared from existence.
T he on l y sou n d that seemed to
reach m y ears
w ere our i n d i v i d ual heartbeats
pou n d i ng agai nst
our chests an d our heav y
breath i ng as the k iss
began to deepen. A s D amen
pressed h is l i ps
harder agai nst m i ne, p leasure
exp loded i nsi de me.
T he ti ngles that had begu n i n
m y l i ps expan ded
throughout m y entire bod y.
T he last cou p le days I
had b u i lt u p so m uch
resentment to w ard D amen
an d sel f-loath i ng for bei ng so
w ea k . N ot once
though cou l d I den y m ysel f
w hat I tru l y w anted,
w h ich w as th is.
I hated D amen after
everyth i ng he had done to
me an d deep do w n there w as
an u nreleased anger
to w ard h i m b ut no matter ho w
m uch I tried to
u n leash it there w as
someth i ng else f ighti ng
agai nst the anger, someth i ng
stronger. It w as
someth i ng I vaguel y
recogn i zed from mov ies I'd
w atched an d boo ks I've read
except it w as a
feel i ng I w as com p letel y ne w
to. T here w as no
other exp lanation as I j ust
then real i zed I had
tru l y fal len com p letel y i n love
w ith D amen.
D amen's han d began dra w i ng
l ight circles on the
bac k of m y nec k w h ich
automatical l y made me
sh utter w ith sheer p leasure.
M y arm joi ned m y
other one arou n d h is w aist as I
p u l led h i m harder
agai nst me leav i ng no space
bet w een us. W e f it
together perfectl y, l i k e w e
w ere speci f ical l y made
to f it i nto each other's arms.
E ven though, I cou l d sti l l hear
a fai nt voice i n the
depths of m y m i n d, yel l i ng at
me to p u l l a w ay.
T hat th is w as not safe an d I
w as on l y setti ng
m ysel f u p for more pai n, more
h urt an d more
m isery. N ice sel f-tal k goi ng on
i nsi de m y head, I
had to ignore the sen i le b itch
an d go w ith the
p leasure pri nci p le i nstead!
D amen p u l led a w ay for on l y
an i nstant an d yet
that i nstant felt to me l i k e an
etern ity. H e lo w ered
h is head as he began n i b b l i ng
on m y ear sen d i ng
me i nto p ure ecstasy. T he
p leasurab le tic k l i ng he
w as doi ng on m y ear over
po w ered the voice i n
m y head an d si lenced her.
Stu p i d co w she's
getti ng i n the w ay of m y
hap p i ness! I cou l d feel
m y han ds clench i ng onto h is
bac k an d cou l d fai ntl y
hear m y moans of p leasure
though m y m i n d had
become noth i ng more than a
clou d y haze as I sat
k nelt i n the grass en joy i ng
every electri f y i ng
touch from D amen.
" W ait..." D amen p u l led a w ay
breath i ng heav i l y,
" W e need to tal k f irst..."
" H m m m?" I sat there i n a daze
barel y even
real i z i ng he w as tal k i ng. I
d i d n't w ant to tal k b ut
i nstead w anted to j ust feel h is
bod y heat agai nst
m i ne an d I d i d n't w ant the
ad d icti ve feel good
sensations to stop.
"Stasee," H e w h ispered as h is
breath i ng w as
begi n n i ng to even out. H e
hesitated, debati ng on
w hether or not to f i n ish h is
thought. I real l y d i d n't
care - I j ust w ished he w ou l d
stop tal k i ng so w e
cou l d get bac k to w hat w e
w ere doi ng. " I need to
k no w , w hat has gotten i nto
you today? I need to
k no w i f th is is a permanent
th i ng."
" W hat do you mean?" I spo k e
softl y. I w as sti l l too
d istracted
b y w anti ng h i m an d h is
p leasurab le
heat.
" T he ne w clothes? N e w
attitu de? F l irti ng w ith
D erre k an d com i ng to th is
party?" H is eyes w ere
f u l l of d isap poi ntment, " T h is
isn't you Stasee,
you're not l i k e these peop le,
you're better than
th is, than them."
T he absence of h is touch
cleared m y head as the
dream y haze d isap peared an d
I w as f i nal l y ab le to
ma k e sense of w hat he w as
say i ng. I can't exactl y
exp lai n w h y b ut h is accusation
of actual l y
'k no w i ng me' made me angry
as m y eyes changed
from lov i ng to f urious i n an
i nstant. I k no w I m ight
have been overreacti ng b ut the
fact that both
D amen an d T rent conti n ued to
act as i f me com i ng
to th is 'party' w as l i k e G od
hangi ng out i n H el l w as
i n f uriati ng! I w as a teenager
l i k e everyone else
an d even though most of m y
sixteen years w ere
com p letel y isolated, I no
longer w anted it to be
l i k e that. I w anted to be l i k e a
normal teenage girl!
I q u ic k l y stood to m y feet
w h ich released me from
D amen's em brace, leav i ng me
feel i ng alone an d
i ncom p lete. E very part of m y
bod y ached an d
craved for h is touch b ut
someho w I managed to
hol d m ysel f together an d k eep
m y com posure.
" T h is..." I w aved m y han ds u p
an d do w n m y bod y,
" isn't me? H o w w ou l d you
k no w w hat is or isn't
me, D amen? You barel y even
k no w me!"
" Barel y even k no w you?!"
D amen ask ed i n
d isbel ief. " W e sat on the cl i f f
for eight hours
Stasee an d d i d noth i ng b ut
tal k . I f an yth i ng I k no w
you better than an yone else."
I cou l d n't den y the fact that he
w as com p letel y
right, w h ich on l y made me
that m uch angrier. A
gu y I k ne w for barel y even a
w ee k k ne w more
about me than m y o w n
parents d i d. W e h u ng out
for one n ight an d I had trusted
h i m w ith m y w hole
l i fe
story. H e betrayed me the next
morn i ng an d
as I stood there loo k i ng do w n
at h i m k nelt i n the
grass those feel i ngs of betrayal
from that
afternoon came rush i ng bac k .
" I don't care!" I yel led
i m maturel y, "Just leave me
alone, D amen!"
D amen got u p to h is feet as he
tried to reach out
to me, i nstantl y I bac k ed a w ay
from h i m k no w i ng
the secon d he touched me al l
w ou l d be forgotten.
"Stasee, w hat can I do to prove
to you I w on't
ever h urt you agai n? I'm
beggi ng for your
forgi veness."
H is voice w as f u l l of si ncerity
as he loo k ed do w n
at me w ith h is soft bro w n eyes
that w ere l ightl y
sh i m meri ng w ith u nshed
tears. I cou l d see the
w etness that glazed over h is
eyes except the
tears never seemed to fal l as
he tried to k eep
h i msel f together. M y heart
began to shatter i nto
p ieces as I w atched D amen
beg me - I had never
seen h i m loo k so exposed an d
v u l nerab le.
I had to loo k a w ay.
" I'm sorry D amen b ut I j ust
can't trust you." T he
w ords that left m y l i ps seemed
to brea k m y heart
more than an yth i ng I cou l d
ever i magi ne.
I turned arou n d an d began
ru n n i ng bac k to w ard
the house leav i ng m y heart
an d sou l beh i n d w ith
D amen. O n l y m i n utes ago I
w as ru n n i ng a w ay
from the house, no w al l I
w anted w as to be bac k
i nsi de w here I cou l d dro w n
m y m isery a w ay. I
cou l d feel D amen's eyes on
m y bac k as I opened
the glass door b ut I never
loo k ed bac k .
I made m y w ay to the k itchen
w h i le hav i ng to
maneu ver over man y passed-
out bod ies on m y
w ay through the l i v i ng room.
T he party had
cal med do w n a b it b ut I cou l d
sti l l hear peop le i n
the d i n i ng room an d there w as
a lot of noise
u pstairs. T he l i v i ng room w as
f u l l of passed out
bod ies of peop le w h i le the
k itchen w as com p letel y
em pty.
I w al k ed i nto the k itchen an d
w ithout hesitation
headed straight for the fri dge
f u l l of alcohol.
O k ay, so " F u l l " w as a b it of an
exaggeration I
thought as I opened the door
u p, there w as barel y
an yth i ng left. I scan ned every
i nch of the shel ves
w h i le th i n k i ng...Beer, e w w no.
W i ne, not
hap pen i ng. M ore beer...more
w i ne, vod k a? E w w
someone bac k w ashed i n it.
I w as about to j ust gi ve u p
w hen m y eyes f i nal l y
fel l on one last bottle i n the
bottom of the fri dge.
T he bottle w as clear w ith a
yel lo w y l i q u i d i nsi de;
the label had a p icture of an
eagle, the w ords
across read " T eq u i la - T res
Som breros".
I'l l honestl y ad m it I had no
i dea w hat it w as b ut
the w ord T eq u i la sou n ded
k i n d of pretty so I
deci ded to gi ve it a try. I
p u l led the bottle out of
the fri dge an d k ic k ed the door
sh ut w ith the si de
of m y foot. I w al k ed over to
the marb le cou nter
an d hop ped u p on top of it. I
t w isted the cap of f
as a strong smel l soared out of
the bottle forci ng
me to cough.
I tried to ignore the smel l as I
hel d m y head u p
an d brought the bottle u p to
m y l i ps before ti lti ng
it bac k . T he l i q u i d poured out
of the bottle an d
i nto m y mouth, the w hole w ay
do w n m y throat it
b urned l i k e someone had set
the i nsi de of me on
f ire. I conti n ued to sw al lo w it
do w n an y w ays, it
b urned b ut the pai n w as
noth i ng com pare to the
emotional agon y an d d istress I
w anted to n u m b.
" W hoa, hol y sh it!"
Su d den l y the hal f em pty
bottle w as bei ng ri p ped
out of m y han ds as I began
f iercel y cough i ng,
w h ich soon turned i nto
gaggi ng. I cou l d feel m y
stomach ru m b l i ng f ighti ng
hard agai nst the
alcohol i nsi de m y stomach. I
k ept try i ng to
sw al lo w m y sp it forci ng
everyth i ng to stay do w n.
It too k a cou p le secon ds b ut
soon enough m y
stomach began to settle as I
loo k ed u p to see
D erre k stari ng at me w i de-
eyed.
" W hat?" I snap ped.
" You w ere j ust ch uggi ng that
f uc k i ng T eq u i la l i k e
it w as w ater!"
" W hatever, w hat's the b ig
deal."
" It's f uc k i ng T eq u i la, are you
try i ng to get alcohol
poison i ng."
" W haz' it to you!?" M y voice
began to change,
od d l y enough I w as al most
sl urri ng.
" W el l, i f you d ie i n m y house
from dri n k i ng m y
booze I'd probab l y get i nto a
lot of sh it." H e sai d
sm ugl y before loo k i ng at me
w ith a dev i l ish gri n
on h is face.
" W el l...Sorr-ray!" I b l urted out
u n i ntentional l y. T he
alcohol
had begu n circu lati ng through
m y bod y
an d I began feel i ng more
em po w ered an d
con f i dent. I attem pted to hop
of f the cou nter not
real i z i ng ho w u ncoord i nated I
w as as I stu m b led
over, b u m ped i nto D erre k an d
then fel l f lat on m y
b utt.
"Smooth move." D erre k too k a
smal l sw ig from
the T eq u i la bottle.
I reached m y arms u p to w ards
h i m, " W el l, m ister-
m ister, aren't ya' gon na' hel p
me u p!" E ven as
dru n k as I w as I k ne w ho w
sl urred an d
u nattracti ve m y w ords w ere
an d yet I cou l d n't
stop m ysel f.
D erre k rol led h is eyes at me
before ben d i ng do w n,
w rap p i ng h is arms arou n d m y
w aist an d p u l l i ng me
u p w ith l ittle ef fort. " I had to
p ic k you u p t w ice i n
one n ight. I th i n k I deserve a
re w ard." H e jo k ed.
A p parentl y " m y dru n k en " sel f
cou l d n't tel l the
d i f ference bet w een a jo k e an d
a statement as I
sai d moc k i ngl y, " O h, m y H ero.
H o w oh, ho w w i l l I
ever repay you!"
Regretf u l l y I w rap ped m y
arms arou n d h is head
an d p u l led h i m to w ard me as
our l i ps con nected. It
w as a w f u l, I'm not say i ng he
w as a horri b le k isser
or an yth i ng b ut there w as no
spar k , no ti ngles,
there w as noth i ng b ut the taste
of cigars an d beer
w h ich i nstantl y triggered the
w rong b utton i n m y
stomach. M y stomach began to
ru m b le f iercel y as
m y throat began to open u p
read y i ng itsel f.
I p ushed D erre k hard i n the
chest as he stu m b led
bac k an d fel l to the f loor. M y
han d i nstantl y
cu p ped onto m y mouth as I
made a q u ic k ru n for it
w ithout loo k i ng bac k . I ran
through the d i n i ng
room, then the foyer an d u p
the stairs. I f i nal l y
fou n d a bathroom i nsi de one
of the bedrooms.
T he secon d I made it to the
toi let an d removed
m y han d from m y mouth al l of
today's su p per
along w ith the alcohol spe w ed
from m y mouth.
I stayed i n the bathroom for
w hat seemed l i k e
forever vom iti ng u nti l there
w as noth i ng left.
W hen I w as f i nal l y done I got
u p of f the f loor an d
w i ped m y mouth of f
i m med iatel y regretti ng not
bri ngi ng m y tooth brush. I
sh ut the bathroom l ight
of f an d
w al k ed bac k i nto the
bedroom, w h ich w as
no w p itch b lac k . I d i d n't
remem ber the l ight bei ng
of f before, b ut then agai n I
had more i m portant
th i ngs on m y m i n d.
T he door w as open a sl i ver
w here I cou l d see the
l ight from the hal l w ay, I tried
to use it as a
gu i del i ne to get out of the
bedroom. I w as hal f w ay
across the room w hen
the door su d den l y slam med
sh ut, w h ich triggered me to
j u m p i n fear. T he
sou n d of the door loc k i ng
i ncreased m y heart rate
an d I cou l d feel m y b lood
rush i ng i n m y ears.
" H el lo?!" I cal led out, " W ho's
there?!"

C hapter 18

I stood frozen on the spot as

fear stirred u p i nsi de
me. E ven the curtai ns agai nst
the w i n do w w ere
dar k an d heav y b loc k i ng out
the n ight's sk y. A gai n
I spo k e i nto the si lence, " Is
an yone there...?" I
stuttered out of fear b ut there
w as no response.
I w as about to ta k e a step
for w ard w hen I heard
the f loor board cree k w h ich
automatical l y made
m y eyes begi n to w ater. M y
heart w as pou n d i ng
hard agai nst m y chest. I w as so
scared I w anted
to b urst i nto tears. I alread y
had a fear of the
dar k an d bei ng i n here i n the
dar k ness w ith some
u n k no w n person had me
sha k i ng an d
h y perventi lati ng.
" W ho's there?" I cried out
agai n - si lence.
I d i d n't k no w w hat to do as
m y bod y stood
paral y zed i n one spot, so I
deci ded to try
scream i ng for hel p. T he
secon d I w as about to
open m y mouth a col d han d
clam ped over it
preventi ng an y sou n d from
escap i ng m y l i ps. I
pan ic k ed an d tried to scream
b ut it w as m u f f led
agai nst the u n k no w n han d.
T he han d w as too b ig
to be a girl's so I k ne w it had
to be a gu y's.
S w i ftl y I turned arou n d an d
w as about to start
h itti ng h i m, b ut he com p letel y
overpo w ered me.
H e p ushed me hard i n the
shou l der as I w ent
f l y i ng across the room an d m y
head smashed
agai nst someth i ng hard as I
felt w arm l i q u i d begi n
to cover m y head. D i z z i l y, I
reach u p an d touched
the th ic k l i q u i d ooz i ng out of
m y head an d
i nstantl y I k ne w it w as b lood.
I began to scream at the top of
m y l u ngs. I felt h is
han ds w rap arou n d m y an k les
as he p u l led me
do w n to w ards h i m. "Sh ut u p!"
H e h issed.
I tried to p ut a face to the voice
b ut I w as too
pan ic k ed to focus. R i vers of
tears w ere no w
f lo w i ng do w n m y chee ks as I
sq u irmed to get
a w ay b ut h is hol d on me w as
too strong. I cou l d
feel m y strength fad i ng an d
m y bod y began to
sha k e w ith p ure terror as I
real i zed I cou l d n't
escape.
" W hat's w rong Stasee? You
can go arou n d k issi ng
everyone ton ight b ut me?!" H e
gritted through h is
teeth. " I sa w you w ith D amen
on the la w n an d
then D erre k i n the k itchen.
W hat about me, don't
I get one!"
H e loc k ed m y feet do w n w ith
h is legs as he began
cra w l i ng on top of me. I tried
to p u nch h i m b ut he
b loc k ed it b y grab b i ng both
m y arms an d p i n n i ng
them agai nst the f loor. I
screamed out i n pai n as
m y w rists w ere smashed w ith
force bet w een the
f loor an d h is han ds. M y head
w as sti l l pou n d i ng
an d I cou l d feel the b lood
dri p p i ng do w n m y nec k
an d soa k i ng m y bac k .
"Please..." I cried out, "J-j ust let
me go...I'm so-
sorry! I'l l gi ve you a-a k iss i f
that's w hat you
w ant..." I stuttered through m y
sobs. M y
breath i ng w as erratic I k ept
gasp i ng b ut felt l i k e I
cou l d n't get enough air i nto
m y l u ngs.
A mal icious ch uc k le came
from h i m as he began
forci ng h is legs bet w een m i ne.
" N o, I w ant more
than a k iss."
I tried to k eep m y legs
together, b ut he w as too
strong an d heav y. I screamed
out agai n,
w on deri ng w here the hel l
everyone w as. T h is w as
su p posed to be a party surel y
peop le had to of
heard m y screams, w h y w asn't
an yone com i ng? I
felt so alone an d scared an d
v u l nerab le.
" You had better sh ut u p!" H e
threatened me. I
cou l d tel l he w as gro w i ng
i m patient because h is
voice w as gro w i ng angrier. H e
w as sw eati ng an d
h is breath i ng had q u ic k ened
b ut I cou l d tel l he w as
also becom i ng excited.
H e p ushed both m y han ds
together an d hel d them
above m y head
w ith h is right han d. E ven both
my
han ds w ere no match agai nst
h is one as I tried
p u l l i ng them a w ay
u nsuccessf u l l y. H e spread m y
legs open w hen I tried to k ic k
h i m a w ay b ut he
barel y even f l i nched. H e w as
b ig an d I'm not
tal k i ng about m uscles, h is
rou n d bod y barel y f it
bet w een m y legs ma k i ng it
al most i m possi b le to
move them.
W ith h is free han d he ri p ped
the strap of f m y
dress exposi ng m y na k ed chest
to h i m.
I m med iatel y I w ished I had
never w orn th is, I
w ished I had never changed
m y loo k to try an d
ma k e D amen jealous! M y lou d
sobs w ere no w
m ixed i n w ith h iccu ps as I
began to gi ve u p an d let
m y bod y go l i m p.
Su d den l y h is han d w as at m y
throat b loc k i ng m y
air w ay, sq ueez i ng an d
p ush i ng me do w n agai nst
the f loor usi ng h is w eight to
exert more force.
"Stop f uc k i ng cry i ng!" H e
gro w led as h is gri p got
tighter an d tighter. I tried
gasp i ng for air b ut
noth i ng came as m y bod y
began to sha k e from
lac k of oxygen. I felt l ight
headed an d thought I
w as goi ng to b lac k out. Stay
a w a k e I tol d m ysel f,
don't b lac k out! I fou n d the
energy an d the w i l l to
struggle agai nst h is death gri p.
I turned m y head
from si de to si de an d b uc k ed
m y w hole bod y
braci ng m ysel f w ith m y feet
on the f loor. H e
gri n ned an d laughed as he
sai d " T hat's it Stasee,
struggle it'l l ma k e it feel better
for me!" H e moved
i n to k iss me
an d I cou l d i nto h is eyes,
w h ich w ere
glassy an d col d. I cou l d smel l
h is sour breath. I felt
nauseous as m y stomach
began ch urn i ng. I turned
m y head an d he k issed an d
l ic k ed the si de of m y
nec k .
H e f i nal l y let go of m y throat
an d moved h is han d
move do w n w ard as I breathed
i n sharp l y, gasp i ng
i n deep gu l ps of air. H is han d
ran over m y breasts
sq ueez i ng rough l y an d
p i nch i ng m y n i p p les ma k i ng
me moan i n pai n. H e p ut h is
mouth on m y breast
an d encircled the n i p p le
before b iti ng do w n. I cou l d
feel h is breath on m y sk i n
ma k i ng it cra w l. H e
paused to loo k at me to see the
terror i n m y eyes.
T hen h is han d began mov i ng
its w ay do w n
bet w een m y breasts an d i nsi de
the top hal f of m y
torn dress triggeri ng an alarm
i nsi de me.
"Please!" I begged.
" I sai d sh ut the f uc k u p!"
Su d den l y the b lac k of
h is han d slap ped hard agai nst
m y face as m y cries
gre w lou der.
T he sou n d of someth i ng
smash i ng agai nst the
other si de of the door made us
turn our heads
to w ard the noise. H e froze, h is
eyes w i de for a
brief moment, an d that w as al l
I needed to p ush
h i m as hard as I cou l d. H e
d i d n't move very far
b ut it gave me the chance to
w riggle free an d try
to get u p.
" O pen it d u de!" I heard
D amen yel l on the other
si de of the door.
" F uc k , I'm try i ng to f i n d the
k ey!" D erre k yel led
bac k .
" D amen!" I screamed as I
j u m ped to m y feet an d
attem pted to ru n for the door.
T he gu y got to me
f irst as he clam ped h is han d
onto m y arm an d
thre w me hard agai nst the
f loor. I screamed out i n
agon y.
I heard another smash on the
door.
" I f you f uc k i ng brea k that
you're pay i ng for it!"
D erre k yel led.
"Sh ut u p!" D amen yel led bac k
as he smashed
agai nst the door agai n.
Su d den l y, I w as grab bed b y
m y hair an d dragged
across the f loor to w ard the
closet. I d i d n't w ant to
scream an y more because I
k ne w it w ou l d dri ve
D amen mad b ut I cou l d n't
hel p it. M y lou d
excruciati ng screams echoed
throughout the
house. I felt l i k e he w as
ri p p i ng m y scal p of f m y
head.
I tried to see w hat he w as
doi ng w hen I heard h i m
open
u p the closet door b ut at the
same ti me I
heard the dead bolt cl ic k
u n loc k ed as the door
sw u ng open. D amen rushed
i nto the bedroom w ith
D erre k slo w l y taggi ng beh i n d.
I f i nal l y loo k ed u p at the boy
an d sa w h is red hair,
frec k led face an d h is ch u n k y
bod y. It w as L iam.
" You f uc k i ng bastard!" D amen
shouted. It w as the
f irst ti me I had ever heard
D amen sw ear. H e ran
to w ard L iam an d p u nched h i m
i n the face before
L iam even had a chance to
react.
L iam smashed agai nst the w al l
beh i n d h i m as he
sl i d to the f loor w ith a b ig
th u d. H e loo k ed u p at
D amen as b lood began to gush
out of h is nose.
" You k no w your l ittle angel
w as fool i ng arou n d
w ith D erre k not even ten
m i n utes ago." L iam
stated w ith p ure mal ice.
A loo k of h urt f lashed across
D amen's face as
i nstant regret w ash over me. I
had never felt so
d ishonest an d u n w orth y i n m y
l i fe. I w ished I cou l d
j ust curl
u p i nto a l ittle bal l an d
d isap pear forever.
D amen's face q u ic k l y changed
to anger as he
k ic k ed L iam hard i n the ri bs
ma k i ng L iam scream
out i n pai n.
" F uc k you L iam, you don't
k no w sh it!" D erre k
f i nal l y spo k e u p as he p ushed
D amen out of the
w ay. H e grab bed L iam b y h is
sh irt an d p u l led h i m
u p w ith l ittle ef fort, " I tol d you
to stay a w ay from
Stasee!" It w as D erre k's turn to
p u nch L iam b ut
th is ti me as L iam fel l to the
grou n d he w as
com p letel y k noc k ed out.
I w as sitti ng there loo k i ng
do w n at L iam's
u nconscious bod y w h i le m y
o w n bod y w as sha k i ng
u ncontrol lab l y. I felt D amen's
arms w rap arou n d
me as I rested m y head i n h is
chest, tears
stream i ng do w n m y face.
" W hat are w e goi ng to do w ith
h i m?" D amen
q uestioned D erre k .
" W hat can w e do?"
" W el l, she can charge
h i m... C an't she?"
" H a! N ot l i k el y, L iam's dad is
one of M cLen nan's
most respected Ju dges an d h is
mom is that
f uc k i ng sexy an d sw eet n urse
at the hosp ital."
D erre k sai d as he anal y zed
L iam's bod y. " W ho do
you th i n k they're goi ng to
bel ieve? L iam - the son
of t w o extremel y respected
ad u lts or Stasee - the
w eird loner girl?"
" W hat d i d you j ust say?"
D amen snap ped
defensi vel y.
" W hoa, cal m do w n d u de. I l i k e
Stasee, she's cool
sh it b ut that is ho w peop le are
goi ng to loo k at it."
D erre k w as right, i f peop le
had to choose to
bel ieve L iam or I at least
n i nety percent w ou l d
bel ieve h i m. I w as starti ng to
not even care as I
sat there i n D amen's arms. A l l
I w anted w as to
get out of here before L iam
w o k e u p. M y head
w as sti l l pou n d i ng an d m y
face an d nec k w ere
b urn i ng from the assau lt.
" W hat about Stasee's parents,
they're hard
w or k i ng ad u lts." D amen
conti n ued.
"Stasee's parents are l i k e ours,
b usi ness w or k ers.
T hey're never arou n d here so
no one k no ws them
enough to respect them. O ur
parents m ight as
w el l be p hantoms."
D erre k had another val i d
poi nt. I reached u p an d
tugged on the top of D amen's
sh irt. H e loo k ed
do w n at me w ith lov i ng eyes
as h is arms l ightl y
tightened arou n d me. " C an't
w e go...?" I
w h ispered to h i m.
" O f course w e can." D amen
p ic k ed me u p as he
p u l led me to m y feet, hol d i ng
me i n a bri dal stance
w h i le ty i ng m y dress bac k
together. H e turned to
D erre k before w e left the
room, " O h, w hen L iam
w a k es u p...tel l h i m he had
better w atch h is bac k!"
an d carried me out of the
room.
O nce D amen p laced me i n h is
truc k m y eyel i ds
began to sh ut as sleep an d
exhaustion had ta k en
over. A l l the alcohol I dran k
along w ith al most
bei ng raped left me
com p letel y drai ned. T he
sooth i ng sou n ds of " T he Sp i l l
C an vas" p lay i ng out
of D amen's truc k's spea k ers
soothed me to sleep.
~*~
M y eyes f l uttered open as I
felt m ysel f bei ng
p laced do w n on a soft bed. I
loo k ed arou n d an d
real i zed I w as i n m y bedroom
as a smal l sm i le
ap peared on m y face. " T han ks
for everyth i ng." I
w h ispered.
D amen sm ir k ed w ol f ish l y as
he bent do w n an d
pressed h is l i ps agai nst m y
forehead shooti ng m y
favourite ti ngles throughout
m y bod y. H e turned
arou n d an d began to head for
m y bedroom door.
" D amen?" H e loo k ed bac k at
me, " C an you stay
w ith me ton ight?"
Sad ness w ashed over h is face,
" M y parents are
su p posed to be com i ng i n
someti me ton ight, I k i n d
of have to be home." I felt m y
l i ps p urse i nto a
fro w n. " B ut I can stay u nti l
you fal l asleep..."
" I'd love that." I w h ispered
bac k .
H e w al k ed over to me an d
l i fted u p the b lan k et
before cra w l i ng i nto m y bed. I
felt h is arms coi l
arou n d me as I lay securel y
w rap ped u p i n h is
em brace. I turned to face h i m
as I rested m y head
on h is chest. M y stomach w as
f l utteri ng hap p i l y as
I l istened
to h is heart beat fast i n h is
chest. Sleep
then too k over.

C hapter 19

" I don't care w hether you gu ys

k ic k ed h is ass or
not, she's m y l ittle sister so
th is prob lem is m i ne
to deal w ith!"
I w o k e u p to the sou n d of m y
brother yel l i ng from
h is bedroom i nto w hat I'm
guessi ng w as a p hone
seei ng as I cou l d n't hear
an yone rep l y. I sq u i nted
m y eyes agai nst the bright
morn i ng l ight sh i n i ng
through m y bedroom w i n do w .
M y head i nstantl y
began to pou n d hard as m y
stomach ru m b led
angri l y i nsi de me. M y mouth
w as dry as I ached
for some w ater to dri n k , I felt
dro wsy an d
nauseated.
T h is m ust be w hat a hangover
feels l i k e, I
thought to m ysel f as I p u l led
the b lan k et of f me
an d tossed it to the grou n d.
" W here is he?!" T rent's lou d
voice reached m y
ears, " Is he at your house? H e
is, isn't he! I'm
com i ng over."
I loo k ed arou n d m y em pty
bedroom try i ng hard to
ignore m y brother's hol leri ng
that w as on l y ad d i ng
to the excruciati ng pai n m y
head w as causi ng me.
" N o? N o! W hat do you mean
no?!" T rent conti n ued
to scream as h is voice echoed
through the w hole
house.
I d i d n't k no w exactl y w ho m y
brother w as tal k i ng
to b ut I def i n itel y k ne w w hat
they w ere tal k i ng
about. T he memory of last
n ight began to rep lay
i n m y head l i k e a terri f y i ng
horror mov ie. It w as
al l j ust a dru n k en b l ur as i f I
w as w atch i ng a
mov ie on a v i deo projector
w ith m u lti p le cl i ps
m issi ng. I w as j ust begi n n i ng
to cra w l out of bed
w hen I sa w a smal l note left
on m y bedsi de tab le.
I p ic k ed it u p an d began to
read.
Stasee,
I'm sorry I had to leave. I
real l y w ish I cou l d have
stayed w ith you... b ut I d i d
w ait u nti l you w ere
safel y sleep i ng. I w i l l be w ith
m y parents al l
morn i ng b ut I p lan to head to
school at arou n d
l u nch ti me. I'm not sure i f you
are even p lan n i ng
on goi ng to school or not, b ut I
j ust thought I'd let
you k no w . I dressed you u p i n
some bedti me w ear
last n ight, your dress
w as... w el l...ri p ped. I too k
the dress w ith me, I'm goi ng to
get m y M om's
tai lor to f ix it u p for you.
I f I don't see you at l u nch I'l l
chec k u p on you
after school.
I hope you're alright...
D amen
I loo k ed do w n at m ysel f an d
sa w that I w as
w eari ng b l ue an d red stri ped
p y jama pants w ith a
green t-sh irt w ith b lac k pot a
dots on it. O ut of al l
the clothes D amen cou l d have
p ut on me, out of
al l the match i ng clothes he
had deci ded to go w ith
the most clash iest outf it I had
ever seen. I nstantl y
a
smal l sm i le of am usement
ap peared on m y face
as I rol led m y eyes an d shoo k
m y head.
" F i ne! F uc k you D erre k , don't
even bother try i ng
to tal k to me, you
bac kstab b i ng pric k!"
I turned m y head i n the
d irection of T rent's room
m y eyes w i den i ng i n shoc k . I
k ne w he w as j ust
try i ng to protect me an d that
the horri b le ne ws of
last n ight's events had
ob v iousl y p ushed h i m over
the edge b ut honestl y I w ished
the yel l i ng w ou l d
j ust stop. I w anted to get the
memory of last
n ight out of m y head though it
seemed nearl y
i m possi b le w ith h i m
constantl y yel l i ng about it.
" I am not bei ng i m mature!"
I dragged m ysel f out of bed
an d began to head
to w ards m y m irror, feari ng
w hat I see i n the
m irror w ou l d echo ho w I w as
feel i ng. A t f irst I
stood there w ith m y eyes
closed, ta k i ng slo w deep
breaths try i ng hard to gai n
enough courage to j ust
open them u p an d loo k at m y
ref lection.
" D erre k ...I tol d you not to
i n v ite her to the party,
an d w hat d i d you do? You
i n v ited her an y w ays!"
I peeled m y eyes open as I
began to ad j ust to the
sight i n front of me. M y hair
w as a scram b led
mess on top m y head as dried
u p b lood matted m y
hair together i n dar k cl u m ps. I
reached u p to feel
the sl ight gash on top the
goose egg, w h ich had
emerged out of m y head. A n
i nstant rep lay of
bei ng tossed to the grou n d
an d smash i ng m y head
made me to trem b le. M y left
chee k w as sw ol len
an d d iscoloured as the
memory of L iam smac k i ng
me across the face f lashed
through m y m i n d. I
cou l d see the sk i n on m y nec k
dar k ened i nto the
shape of h is ch u b b y l ittle
han d as the feel i ng of
not bei ng ab le to breathe came
bac k to me.
" You're sorry?! T hat's it? O k ay
w here is he,
D erre k? W here is
L iam?!....F i ne! I'l l f i n d h i m
m ysel f, you good for noth i ng
p iece of sh it!"
T he sou n d of someth i ng
smash i ng agai nst the w al l
in
m y brothers room i nstantl y
rem i n ded me of
D amen smash i ng agai nst the
door urgentl y try i ng
to get i n as I w as bei ng
dragged across the room
b y m y hair. I n that exact
secon d the tears began
to gush out as I fel l to the
f loor. A l l of last n ight's
f lash bac k memories w ere
becom i ng too m uch to
bear an d m y bod y mar k ed
w ith rem i n ders of the
events that occurred.
T he past sixteen years of m y
l i fe have been
bori ng an d com p letel y safe
an d pred ictab le. N o
real hap p i ness or sad ness, it
w as merel y a l i fe of
neutral noth i ngness. I barel y
remem ber ever
actual l y cry i ng although the
past w ee k it seemed
that's al l I had been doi ng. I
never thought w hen
the ti me f i nal l y came that I
made frien ds that I
w ou l d w ant everyth i ng to go
bac k to the w ay it
w as. B ut I d i d - I m issed the
non-dramatic, overl y
bori ng l i fe I l i ved on l y a mere
w ee k ago.
I lai d on m y bedroom f loor m y
han ds coveri ng m y
face cry i ng from m y very sou l.
M y cries gre w
lou der an d lou der as every
secon d passed. I felt
bro k en.
Su d den l y m y bedroom door
f l u ng open as I turned
to loo k at m y brother stan d i ng
i n the door w ay. I n
h is han d he hel d the han dset
of h is telep hone,
the cord hangi ng loosel y from
w here it had been
p u l led out of the base. A t f irst
I conti n ued to cry
though as m y eyes settled on
T rent longer, I
cou l d n't hel p b ut cough out a
laugh.
H e loo k ed do w n at me w ith
such a w orried
expression, as i f there w ere
someth i ng w rong
w ith me an d yet he w as the
one stan d i ng there
w ith a bro k en p hone i n h is
han d an d a red hot
face. I n some t w isted w ay it
am used me that he
an d I w ere such a trai n w rec k .
M y brother w as
usual l y so i n control of h is
emotions, cal m an d
stead y ab le to cope w ith
practical l y an yth i ng. I
j ust had no reasons to feel an y
emotions before.
E ver si nce I deci ded to brea k
out of m y shel l of
lonel i ness an d joi n the real
w orl d I have turned
T rent i nto an overl y protecti ve
brother, w h i le I
seemed to be noth i ng more
than b i polar an d
depressed.
" A re you o k ay?" T rent
w h ispered as he w al k ed
i nto m y room. I nod ded m y
head try i ng to sw al lo w
the large l u m p i n m y throat.
" I'm goi ng to k i l l h i m,
Stasee." H is voice w as f u l l of
an i mosity.
" N o... T rent, j ust leave it
be...p lease." I p leaded as
I began to get to m y feet.
" B ut loo k at you; he can't j ust
get a w ay w ith
that!"
" B ut that's the th i ng T rent, he
can." I w al k ed over
to
m y closet try i ng to ignore h i m.
"Just drop it
o k ay."
" B ut Stasee-"
" T rent, p lease!"
H e f i nal l y gave u p b ut not
w ithout storm i ng out of
m y bedroom angri l y an d
slam m i ng the door sh ut
beh i n d h i m. I sighed heav i l y
before goi ng to m y
bathroom an d j u m p i ng i nto
the sho w er attem pti ng
to once agai n forget al l of last
n ight's events.
I deci ded to w ear someth i ng a
l ittle more casual
today, not the l ittle k i d-baggy
outf its I used to
w ear b ut neither w as it
an yth i ng l i k e m y
yesterdays outf it. I choose a
n ice pair of b l ue
jeans w ith a perfectl y f itted
yel lo w t-sh irt. T here
w as no extra sk i n sho w i ng b ut
the outf it d i d
outl i ne al l m y curves gi v i ng
me a more natural
beauty rather than a forced
one. M y hair w as
p u l led bac k i nto a messy pon y
tai l w ith stran ds of
hair fal l i ng out an d I deci ded
to boycott ma k eu p
w anti ng to em brace a more
natural loo k .
I loo k ed i n the m irror as a
sm i le ap peared on m y
face. Ignori ng the fact that m y
chee k an d nec k
w ere bru ised I actual l y loo k ed
good. It w as a more
i n-bet w een loo k an d ev i dentl y
I l i k ed it. I w asn't
overl y try i ng b ut I def i n itel y
w as try i ng a l ittle
more than I used to - gi v i ng
me a more matured
natural beauty.
T he sou n d of a veh icle peel i ng
out of m y dri ve w ay
forced me to ru n to the spare
bedroom across the
hal l to loo k out the w i n do w . I
sa w m y brother's
C hev y zoom i ng do w n the
street as m y heart
began to accelerate. I k ne w
w here he w as goi ng
an d I k ne w it cou l d n't be
good.
I ran bac k to m y room an d
grab bed m y p hone
q u ic k l y d ial i ng T rent's cel l
p hone n u m ber. It rang
an d conti n ued to ri ng
u nansw ered f i nal l y goi ng to
voice mai l.
T h i n k i ng q u ic k l y I loo k ed
through our cal ler d isp lay
to f i n d D erre k's n u m ber. I
k ne w that's w here
T rent w ou l d be head i ng.
" I thought you never w anted
to tal k to me agai n."
D erre k's voice answ ered the
p hone sou n d i ng
am used.
" I th i n k T rent's goi ng to k i l l
L iam!" I al most yel led
i nto the p hone.
"Stasee?"
It w as
at that moment that I real i zed
that I d i d n't
b lame L iam for w hat he d i d to
me, I b lamed
m ysel f. I f I had n't deci ded to
change m y
ap pearance an d try to loo k
l i k e C an d ise an d the
C re w then may be L iam
w ou l d n't have forced
h i msel f on me. I had got so
caught u p w ith try i ng
to pay D amen bac k that I had
stooped so lo w as
to dress u p l i k e a sl ut.
T he
girls i n M cLen nan that dress
the w ay I d i d
yesterday are the ty pe to gi ve
themsel ves freel y
to an y gu y. L iam w as far past
dru n k last n ight an d
though w hat he d i d w as
w rong, I sti l l b lamed
m ysel f for it. H e d i d deserve
to be beaten u p for
h itti ng me b ut honestl y I d i d
not w ish death u pon
h i m.
" D id
you hear me?!" I sai d
pan ic k ed, " T rent is
goi ng to your house to k i l l
L iam!"
D erre k
laughed i nto the p hone w h ich
made me
real i ze w h y T rent thre w h is
p hone agai nst the
w al l.
" T h is is serious!" I yel led
angri l y.
" C al m
do w n ya' grouch. N o one's at
m y house
right no w , I'm on m y w ay to
school an d L iam has
gone on a m uch needed
vacation."
" W hat?!" I ask ed con f used.
" W el l,
w hen L iam w o k e u p th is
morn i ng an d
real i zed w hat he d i d, he
deci ded to go v isit w ith
h is au nt i n C al i forn ia u nti l
th i ngs...settle do w n a
b it. I th i n k he k ne w your
brother w ou l d be goi ng
after h i m."
" O h."
"So I'm guessi ng you need a
ri de to school?"
" W hat? O h...I d i d n't even
th i n k about-"
" I'l l
be there i n f i ve m i n utes." H e
cut me of f
before hangi ng u p.

C hapter 20

D erre k p u l led u p i n h is si l ver

2009 Lam borgh i n i
G al lardo; usual l y w hen peop le
w ou l d see that car
they w ou l d stare w ith en v y
b ut I merel y rol led m y
eyes w ith d isgust. H e loo k ed
over at me an d
sm ir k ed before hoo k i ng the
horn even though I
w as alread y at the car. I
opened u p the passenger
si de door, gave h i m an ev i l
glare before getti ng
i nsi de.
" N ice bag." H e sai d
sarcastical l y w h i le loo k i ng
do w n at m y batman bac k pac k .
"Sh ut-u p an d go!" I snap ped
bac k .
"Someone's P. M .Si ng..."
D erre k m u m b led as he
p u l led h is car out of the
dri ve w ay an d sped do w n
the street w ithout even gi v i ng
me the chance to
p ut m y seatbelt on. I glared at
h i m once agai n
before I p u l led m y seatbelt
w ith m uch em p hasi ze
an d w rap ped it arou n d me
angri l y.
" H onestl y D erre k , w h y is it
you can be such a
com p lete d ic k ."
" U m m m...Because I have
money."
I cou l d n't tel l i f he w as jo k i ng
or not b ut either
w ay it sti l l p issed me of f. I
loo k ed over at the
overl y m uscu lar gu y sitti ng i n
the dri ves seat; he
had a snob b ish gri n p lastered
to h is face. C uriosity
w as begi n n i ng to get the best
of me as I f i nal l y
ask ed the q uestion that had
been on m y m i n d for
the pass 15 m i n utes.
" D erre k , w h y are you al l of a
su d den tal k i ng to me
an d dri v i ng me to school? I'm
not part of your 'i n'
cro w d so w h y are you even
ac k no w ledgi ng me."
" You can b lame T rent for that
one. H e w anted me
to k eep an eye on you, ma k e
sure noth i ng
hap pens..." H e laughed b ut
conti n ued. " I sure
f uc k ed u p last n ight, h u h?"
I rol led m y eyes at h i m. H e
w as such an
i nconsi derate bastard.
" I d i d n't k no w you an d T rent
w ere such good
frien ds." I f i nal l y sai d
brea k i ng the si lence.
" T here's a lot you don't k no w ."
Su d den l y a memory from last
n ight I had tried to
com p letel y erase from m y
m i n d ap peared. It w as
right after I had ch ugged hal f
a bottle of T eq u i la
an d I w as dru n k ...too dru n k .
T he thought of m y
l i ps pressed u p agai nst
D erre k's al most forced me
to p u k e right then an d there.
" Loo k D erre k ...about last n ight-
"
" W hat part?" H e cut me of f.
" T he...u m m... k iss." I sai d as
m y chee ks f l ushed
red.
" D on't w orry about it."
" It's j ust I don't...l i k e you l i k e
that..." I m u m b led,
" W hat I mean is... T hat-"
H e cut me of f agai n before I
cou l d conti n ue " I sai d
don't w orry about it, I'm not
attracted to you."
" O h right, your on l y attracted
you ol der w omen." I
snap ped bac k .
I had no reason to be jealous
b ut may be m y
i nsecurities w ere starti ng to
ta k e over an d I w as
hop i ng for some reassurance
from D erre k . W h ich,
ap parentl y I w as not goi ng to
get.
D erre k laughed h is lou d
hearty laugh, "an d w here
d i d you hear that."
" H ey, j ust because I never
used to tal k to an yone
doesn't mean I d i d n't hear al l
the ru mors. L i k e for
i nstants ho w you've never
slept w ith an y of the
h igh school girls an d that you
on l y go for ol der
w omen."
" L i k e you sai d, those are al l
ru mors." H e sai d
nonchalantl y.
"So w hat are you tel l i ng me
you're a v irgi n?"
" F uc k no; I lost m y v irgi n ity to
T i f fan y i n 10th
grade."
" O h, an d she's the on l y girl
you've ever slept
w ith?" I sai d w ith d isbel ief.
" Yes actual l y, she is the on l y
girl I've ever slept
w ith." H e rep l ied truth f u l l y.
H e turned h is head
to w ards me w h i le b iti ng h is
l i p as i f he w ere
hav i ng a debate i nsi de h is
head b ut then f i nal l y
conti n ued. " I d i d n't sleep w ith
her because I
w anted to either. I slept w ith
her because I
thought may be i f I had sex
w ith a girl, I'd start
bei ng attracted to girls."
" W hat are you ta k i ng abou-" I
stop ped m i d
sentence as m y mouth
drop ped to the f loor. " W ait
are you say i ng..."
" U n fortu natel y, yes...I'm i n the
same boat as
T rent- O r shou l d I say closet."
" You k no w about T rent?" I
sai d i n surprise before
real i zation da w ned on me.
" W ait, are you t w o..."
" It's an on an d of f k i n d of
relationsh i p an d I'm
guessi ng right no w it's of f. H e
w as pretty p issed
at me th is morn i ng."
" O h m y god..." I managed to
w h isper i n daze of
shoc k . " B ut you seem so-"
"Straight?" H e f i n ished m y
sentence. " It's cal led
acti ng...I act l i k e a b ig d ic k
head w ho's too good
for al l the girls i n h igh school,
that w ay they don't
constantl y try h itti ng on me.
W el l, asi de from the
stu p i d ones l i k e C an d ise."
" W el l, you're sure good at it." I
sai d sti l l
com p letel y ta k en bac k .
" A re you say i ng I'd ma k e it as
an actor?" H e
jo k ed.
" V ery good possi b i l ity." I sai d
w h i le sm i l i ng bac k at
h i m. " D oes an yone
k no w ...L i k e about you?"
" N o." H e sai d stern l y w h i le
ad d i ng i n the same
tone, "other than T rent an d I'd
l i k e to k eep it that
w ay."
" N o prob lem; M y l i ps are
sealed." I w asn't l y i ng
either. E ven though D erre k
w as a com p lete
asshole (w hether it w as al l an
act or not I sti l l
w asn't sure of) b ut I k ne w th is
secret w as not
m i ne to tel l. "So...I f no one's
k no ws about you b ut
m y brother... W h y d i d you tel l
me."
" I don't k no w ...I guess I feel
l i k e I can trust you."
H e ad m itted; I sm i led u p at
h i m i n response. " I
can... C an't I?"
" O f course, your dati ng m y
brother so your
practical l y fam i l y!"
T h is made h i m sm i le b ut j ust
as q u ic k l y as the
sm i le ap peared it faded. " W el l,
I don't th i n k w ere
actual l y together right no w ..."
" H e'l l get over it."
" H opef u l l y..." H e spo k e softl y
as he stared out the
w i n dsh iel d.
T he si lence w as starti ng to
become u ncom fortab le
as I tried to change the su b ject.
"So w h y don't
you an d T rent j ust tel l
everyone you're dati ng.
W h y do you have to h i de, I
mean it w ou l d be so
m uch easier for you t w o i f you
d i d n't al w ays have
to preten d to be someth i ng
your not."
"Sh it." H e shoo k h is head,
" N ot l i k el y, w e're i n
h igh school dol l. I f me an d
T rent let an y of those
l ittle i m mature teens k no w
our real sexual ity, w e'd
be teased more than the ban d
gee ks."
I shoo k m y head at h i m i n
an noyance. " You gu ys
are al l the same."
" W hat are you tal k i ng about
no w?"
" You, T rent, D amen... You
gu ys care to m uch
w hat other peop le th i n k; you
are al l so
em barrassed to j ust be
yoursel ves."
" O k ay, D amen has N O T H I N G
to be em barrassed
about." D erre k sai d w h i le
p u l l i ng i nto a par k i ng
spot. I w as so lost i n the
con versation I had n't
even real i zed w e w ere al l
read y at school.
I turned to loo k at D erre k an d
sai d, " N either do
you or T rent."
W ith that I got out of the car
an d began to w al k
to w ards the school, not once
glanci ng bac k at
D erre k though I k ne w he w as
sti l l w atch i ng me.
~
I w atched the rai n pouri ng
outsi de thre w m y
classroom w i n do w as m y
nerves began to sp i k e
u p. Soon the l u nch bel l w ou l d
ri ng an d because of
the w eather the w hole stu dent
bod y w ou l d be i n
the cafeteria for l u nch. I d i d n't
k no w w hat to be
expecti ng; w hether D amen
w ou l d act ho w he
usual l y d i d arou n d everyone
else or i f may be b y
some chance he real l y w as
goi ng to change. E ither
w ay
I w as scared for l u nch to come
an d as every
secon d tic k ed b y m y nerves
conti n ued to gro w .
I stared at the rou n d cloc k that
sat above the
chal k board at the front of the
classroom as the
b ig han d joi ned the l ittle one
at the n u m ber 12. A t
that same i nstant the bel l rang
lou d v i brati ng i n
m y ears as m y bod y froze w ith
noth i ng b ut m y
heart rap i d l y beati ng.
T he w hole classroom eru pted
w ith noise as
everyone p i led out of the door
h urry i ng a w ay for
their one hour of freedom.
Both E ngl ish an d
H istory class had dragged b y
so slo w l y th is
morn i ng b ut no w that it w as
actual l y l u nch it felt
l i k e it ap proached too soon.
I slo w l y p ic k ed m ysel f u p of f
m y seat as I cou l d
feel m y pal ms begi n to gro w
w armer. I made m y
w ay out of the em pty
classroom as slo w as a sl ug
before head i ng to m y loc k er. It
felt l i k e barel y
secon ds had gone b y b ut I had
alread y drop ped of f
my
boo ks an d w as stan d i ng i n
front of the
cafeteria doors.
I cou l d hear lou d laughter
com i ng from w ith i n the
room on the other si de of the
doors. A lread y I
k ne w the café w as goi ng to be
u n bel ievab l y
pac k ed an d ob v iousl y D amen
l ied beyon d these
doors as w el l.
" O k ay stop bei ng such a bab y
an d open the door,"
I m uttered q u ietl y to m ysel f.
I i n haled a deep breath before
p u l l i ng the door
open an d enteri ng i nsi de the
cafeteria, w h ich too
no surprise w as com p letel y
pac k ed.
I peered arou n d the large
room; loo k i ng from one
en d to the other. A l most al l
the tab les w ere
alread y ta k en u p w ith one or
t w o peop le sitti ng at
them w h i le their frien ds stood
i n the long l i ne u p
to get food. Just stan d i ng i n
the cro w ded space al l
alone w as begi n n i ng to ma k e
me claustrop hob ic.
D eci d i ng may be th is w asn't
such a good i dea I
q u ic k l y turned arou n d an d
w as on l y secon d a w ay
from ru n n i ng bac k through
the doors w hen
someone's voice i m med iatel y
stop ped me.
"Stasee!"
H is voice rang through m y
ears l i k e a perfect
melod y ma k i ng m y stomach
f l utter arou n d. I d i d n't
have to loo k to see w ho it w as
because on l y one
person i n the w orl d cou l d
ma k e m y bod y feel so
v u l nerab le; D amen.
" W here are you ru n n i ng of f
too?" I cou l d hear the
h u mor i n h is voice as I turned
arou n d to see
D amen stan d i ng on l y feet
a w ay. A n amaz i ngl y
cute sm i le w as p lastered to h is
face w ith h is oh
so-perfect teeth sh i m meri ng
u n der the
f l uorescent l ighti ng. H is
chocolate bro w n hair w as
a b it messy b ut it def i n itel y
made h i m loo k that
m uch sexier. H e had w orn-out
b l ue jeans on an d a
perfectl y f itted b lac k hooded
sw eatsh irt.
" O h...I-u h-I... w as goi ng to-u h-
go grab...some
L U N C H !" I stuttered,
ob v iousl y not bei ng ab le to
th i n k of someth i ng q u ic k
enough.
" You're a horri b le l iar." H e
sai d teasi ngl y as I felt
m y chee ks f l ush p i n k . " H ere,
I'l l grab you some
food from the café." H e
i nsisted w h i le m y
response w as barel y a nod of
m y head.
D amen turned arou n d an d
began to head for the
b ig l i ne u p of stu dents as I
loo k ed arou n d the
cafeteria once more. It seemed
D amen yel l i ng m y
name sort of got everyone's
attention because
al most the w hole stu dent bod y
w as no w stari ng at
us i n shoc k . T he tab le on l y
feet a w ay from me sat
4 girls from m y grade, I cou l d
here them
w h isperi ng to each other i n
jealousy.
' D i d D amen H urtz honestl y
j ust of fer to b u y the
Rai n ie girl l u nch?' O ne girl
w h ispered
'Seriousl y, she's not even that
pretty.. I mean loo k
ho w bori ng she loo ks-a t-sh irt
an d jeans? H o w is
that even possi b le?' A nother
rep l ied.
'She's actual l y k i n d of cute b ut
not as hot as she
w as yesterday.' A boy from m y
class cut i nto their
con versation w h i le eyei ng me
u p an d do w n.
I nstantl y the girl besi de h i m
smac k ed u p u psi de
the head w h ich made me
sm i le i n response.
"Stasee, you com i ng or are you
goi ng to stan d
there al l day?" D amen cal led
for me from the l i ne,
h is perfect sm i le w i den i ng.
I cou l d feel m y stomach
f l utteri ng hap p i l y i nsi de
me w h i le I seemed to be
w eari ng an erasab le
sm i le on m y face. I q u ic k l y
jogged over to D amen
an d stood besi de h i m i n the
l i ne. E ven stan d i ng i n
the l i ne stari ng at someone's
bac k I cou l d sti l l feel
hal f the cafeteria's eyes on
D amen an d me.
" Ignore them." D amen
w h ispered as he reached
h is han d do w n an d coi led h is
f i ngers i n-bet w een
m i ne. M y bod y exp loded w ith
f ire w or ks; h is sk i n
agai nst m i ne w as al l he
needed to do to force me
to melt i nsi de an d forget the
entire w orl d arou n d
us.
I loo k ed u p at h i m w ith a sh y
sm i le w h i le he
loo k ed do w n at me w ith that
perfect sm i le of h is
that never seemed to leave h is
l i ps. T he lou d
noises that surrou n ded us
seemed to van ish a w ay
as I became lost i n h is perfect
bro w n eyes. I sw ear
I
cou l d stan d there forever, h is
han d enclosed
arou n d m i ne w h i le our eyes
seemed to w ant
noth i ng more than to stare
i nto the others
forever. I cou l d feel m y heart
beati ng agai nst m y
chest as m y eyes began to see k
out h is l ush l i ps.
I felt m y bod y risi ng u p barel y
ac k no w ledgi ng that
fact I w as no w stan d i ng on m y
ti ptoes. M y eyes
stayed con nected to h is l i ps as
I began to move
closer to h i m, alread y
i magi n i ng the taste of h is
sw eet mouth.
" D amen! O h m y god, w here
w ere you th is
morn i ng!" C an d ise's an noy i ng
shrie k bro k e through
our
p u b l icl y i nti mate moment as
al l the sou n ds
arou n d me surfaced. I turned
arou n d q u ic k l y to see
C an d ise
dash i ng to w ards D amen; each
ti me her
heels cl ic k ed agai nst the f loor
i n d icati ng her
nearness m y stomach w ou l d
drop lo w er.
I q u ic k l y p u l led m y han d
a w ay from D amen al most
the exact secon d C an d ise
w rap ped her arms
arou n d h is nec k . She shoved
me out of the w ay as
I lost m y balance an d began to
stu m b le.
I loo k ed do w n at m y feet j ust
i n ti me to u ntangle
them an d prevent m ysel f from
fal l i ng. I loo k ed u p
at D amen an d C an d ise at
exactl y the w rong
moment; C an d ise p u l l
D amen's head to w ards her
as she pressed her l i ps hard
agai nst h is.
M y w hole bod y w ent n u m as
everyth i ng arou n d
me became a lou d messy
circus of noises. I cou l d
feel m y head sp i n n i ng out of
control as I became
overl y d i z z y though someho w
I had managed to
turn a w ay an d begi n to ru n.

C hapter 21

" D amen! O h m y god, w here

w ere you th is
morn i ng!" C an d ise's an noy i ng
shrie k bro k e through
our
p u b l icl y i nti mate moment as
al l the sou n ds
arou n d me surfaced. I turned
arou n d q u ic k l y to see
C an d ise
dash i ng to w ards D amen; each
ti me her
heels cl ic k ed agai nst the f loor
i n d icati ng her
nearness m y stomach w ou l d
drop lo w er.
I q u ic k l y p u l led m y han d
a w ay from D amen al most
the exact secon d C an d ise
w rap ped her arms
arou n d h is nec k . She shoved
me out of the w ay as
I lost m y balance an d began to
stu m b le.
I loo k ed do w n at m y feet j ust
i n ti me to u ntangle
them an d prevent m ysel f from
fal l i ng. I loo k ed u p
at D amen an d C an d ise at
exactl y the w rong
moment; C an d ise p u l l
D amen's head to w ards her
as she pressed her l i ps hard
agai nst h is.
M y w hole bod y w ent n u m as
everyth i ng arou n d
me became a lou d messy
circus of noises. I cou l d
feel m y head sp i n n i ng out of
control as I became
overl y d i z z y though someho w
I had managed to
turn a w ay an d begi n to ru n.
N o w , Presenti ng....
Part 21:
" G et a w ay from me!"
I w as hal f w ay to the C afeteria
exit w hen
D amen's voice reached m y
ears, I w asn't exactl y
sure i f it had on l y been m y
i magi nation ad d i ng to
the chaos i nsi de m y head b ut
either w ay I stop ped
dead i n m y trac ks.
"Stasee!" H is voice came agai n;
th is ti me lou d an d
clear as an y false thoughts
began to evaporate. I
slo w l y turned arou n d to see
D amen ru n n i ng
to w ards me w ith C an d ise
taggi ng beh i n d h i m.
" D amen! W hat do you mean?
W hat are you
doi ng?" H er w h i ney voice
made me sh utter is
an noyance.
W ith i n secon ds D amen w as
stan d i ng i n front of
me, breath i ng heav i l y w h i le
he tried to catch h is
breath. I cou l d feel every pair
of eyes i n the room
d irected to w ards us i n
antici pation; w aiti ng an d
w on deri ng w hat w as goi ng to
hap pen next. E ven
the fe w teacher su perv isors i n
the C afé stood sti l l
w ith both shoc k an d curiosity.
"Stasee, you need to stop
ru n n i ng a w ay from me.
W hat are you afrai d of?" H e
f i nal l y spo k e once as
h is breath i ng became more
even.
A t f irst I sai d noth i ng as I w as
a l ittle ta k en bac k
b y the accusation b ut then m y
eyes lan ded on
C an d ise. " B ut w hat about you
an d her?" I sai d
w h i le nod d i ng m y head to the
girl w ho w as sti l l
try i ng to ap proach us though
her n i ne i nch heels
w ere slo w i ng her do w n a b it.
" T here is no M e an d
C an d ise... T here never w as
an d there never w i l l be,
honestl y Stasee. I have
never done, tried, or w i l l do
an yth i ng w ith her,
never."
" B ut-" I started to say b ut w as
q u ic k l y i nterru pted
as D amen's l i ps crashed do w n
on m i ne i n an
exp losion of p leasurab le
ti ngles.
I felt h is arms w rap tightl y
arou n d m y w aist as he
p u l led me i n agai nst h is hard
chest. M y arms w ere
hangi ng loosel y at m y si des as
I stood there i n
com p lete shoc k w h ich lasted
merel y a m i l l isecon d
before I thre w m y arms hasti l y
arou n d h is nec k
an d p u l led m ysel f u p to w ards
h i m. O ur l i ps moved
together i n perfect harmon y as
our han ds eagerl y
tried p u l l i ng each other closer
w h ich w as al most
i m possi b le.
M y k nees felt w ea k beneath
me though m y hol d
arou n d h is nec k an d h is hol d
arou n d m y w aist k ept
me
from cru m b l i ng to the grou n d.
H is mouth
tasted j ust as sw eet as last ti me
though i nstead I
cou l d taste a h i nt of map le
syru p. H is tongue w as
j ust begi n n i ng to f i n d its w ay
i nto m y mouth w hen
someone's han d grasped m y
shou l der an d p u l led
me a w ay.
T hat's w hen I real i zed w e
w ere sti l l i n the
cafeteria. I loo k ed arou n d at
everyone as they
stared w ith their mouths
drop ped an d eyes w i de. I
cou l d feel m y chee ks begi n to
b urn u p w ith
em barrassment from our very
p u b l ic an d yet very
passionate k iss. I loo k ed u p at
D amen as he
seemed to be com i ng out of
the same clou d y daze
as me.
" W . T .F w as that?!" C an d ise
nearl y yel led from
beh i n d me i nstantl y forci ng
me to turn arou n d to
face her w h i le coveri ng m y
ears from her irritab le
voice.
" C an d ise, w h y can't you j ust
leave us alone?"
D amen spo k e stern l y as he
came to stan d at m y
si de.
" W hat are you tal k i ng about
D amen, you actual l y
l i k e th is 'l ittle' girl?" She sai d
w h i le em p hasi z i ng
the w ord l ittle.
" L ittle? C an d ise she is 16 years
ol d an d far more
mature than you an d your
l ittle grou p ies p ut
together." D amen snap ped
bac k .
" B ut D amen...Loo k at her, she
isn't even H O T!"
C an d ise w h i ned.
" W hat do you th i n k you're
hot? You loo k l i k e a
cheap prostitute an d w el l sh it,
you act l i k e one
too! I'm sorry to brea k it to you
'darl i ng' b ut gu ys
don't l i k e sl uts l i k e you.
Stasee on the other han d,
w el l, she is u n bel ievab l y
gorgeous. She presents
hersel f i n a w ay that you never
cou l d."
I loo k ed u p at D amen w ith
com p lete a w e, h is
w ords ma k i ng me w ant to
w rap m y arms arou n d
h i m agai n b ut never let go.
" U h! W hatever D amen!" She
sai d w h i le f l ic k i ng
her w rist an d p utti ng her bare
bal m i n h is face. I f
she w as try i ng to act mature
she w as def i n itel y
fai l i ng horri b l y. " A n d you..."
C an d ise turn to face
me w ith her face sq u ished u p
i nto a very
u nattracti ve sm ug loo k . " W el l,
you can have h i m
al l you w ant...You-d irty-l ittle-
sl ut!"
It w as at about that moment
w hen I cou l d no
longer han d le C an d ise's voice.
H onestl y, it had
noth i ng to do w ith w hat she
w as say i ng an y more,
I cou l d care less w hat came out
of her mouth. N o,
w hat came next w as because I
cou l d n't han d le
heari ng her screech i ng, h igh
p itched, w h i ney
voice an y more.
M y f ist had alread y been
clenched si nce the
moment I heard her voice b ut I
had been try i ng to
control m ysel f; I tried to
rem i n d m ysel f that I w on.
D amen w as
m i ne an d he d i d n't w ant her
not no w ,
not ever, b ut a person can have
on l y so m uch
control.
I felt m y arm reach bac k
before spri ngi ng for w ard
i n one fast motion as it
con nected hard w ith her
face. I felt someth i ng cru nch
u n der the pressure
as she f le w to the f loor an d
began to scream
lou d l y, tears began f lood i ng
her face. "Sheeee
bro k eee m y noseeee!" H er
voice yel led out
i nstantl y ma k i ng me regret
doi ng it because
ob v iousl y it d i d n't sh ut her
u p, it on l y made it
w orse.
I felt D amen's han d l ightl y tug
m y arm try i ng to
get m y attention. A t f irst I j ust
stared do w n at
C an d ise com p letel y shoc k ed
at w hat I had j ust
done b ut I felt D amen
gro w i ng i m patient as I
f i nal l y loo k ed u p at h i m.
" W e have to get out of here..."
H e sai d w h i le I
fol lo w ed h is gaze an d sa w the
fe w su perv isors
no w ad vanci ng on us. " L i k e
no w!"
H e grab bed m y han d an d
began to p u l l me w h ich
f i nal l y bro k e me out of m y
shoc k ed trance. W e
both began to ru n; han d i n
han d out of the
cafeteria an d do w n the
hal l w ays. W e w ere ru n n i ng
so
fast an d k ept loo k i ng beh i n d
us that w e d i d n't
even noticed the ol d Jan itor
slo w l y ma k i ng h is w ay
across the hal l w ay.
O ur i nterloc k ed han ds en ded
u p k noc k i ng M r.
G ergosh straight on h is b utt as
w e f le w b y h i m.
" You craz y, craz y k i ds, w ith al l
your h y per-ness
j u m p i ng-j u m p y i nsi de you! I f
you w ant to ru n... G o
i n a M arathon!" H e yel led
bac k at us as he began
to get u p of f the f loor.
I felt bad not hel p i ng h i m u p
b ut it w as either; go
to the pri nci pal's of f ice w ith a
p hone cal l home
an d perhaps suspension or be
a ru de teen an d
leave the ol d man on the
grou n d. I had alread y
p u nched a girl i n the face; w h y
not ad d another
someth i ng to m y 'bad girl l ist'.
N ext th i ng I k ne w D amen an d
I w ere scram b l i ng
i nto h is G M C truc k . T he
secon d w e w ere both
securel y i nsi de w ith the doors
loc k ed w e roared
i nto laughter though it d i d n't
last long w hen w e
sa w a fe w teachers ru n n i ng
out of the School's
front entrance. I w atched
D amen f u m b l i ng for h is
k eys i nsi de h is hooded poc k et.
" H urry, h urry, h urry." I
m uttered as I w atched the
teachers getti ng closer an d
closer.
T hey j ust made it to the
par k i ng lot w hen I heard
the engi ne roar to l i fe. Q u ic k l y
D amen sh i fted the
truc k i nto dri ve an d p u l led out
of the par k i ng spot
an d sped do w n the road. I
su d den l y roared i nto
laughter w h i le hol d i ng m y
stomach. I cou l d n't
bel ieve I had done that an d yet
it seemed so
u nreal istical l y f u n n y. D amen
loo k ed over at me
before he began to laugh to,
both our voices
echoi ng through the truc k .
It w as a good f i ve m i n utes
later w hen our laughter
began to cease.
I loo k ed over at h i m as I b it
do w n
on m y l i p. I sti l l cou l d n't
bel ieve w hat he had done;
he
had k issed me i n front of the
w hole stu dent
bod y an d then cal led C an d ise
a sl ut. H e had f i nal l y
deci ded not to h i de h is feel i ng
for me an d had
made, w hat ever our
relationsh i p w as, very p u b l ic.
" W hat are you loo k i ng at?"
D amen loo k ed over at
me sheep ish l y, a hal f sm ir k
p lastered to h is face.
I shoo k m y head, " you
surprise me, that's al l."
" W hat do you mean?"
I loo k ed u p at h i m w ith a sh y
sm i le, " w el l...I j ust
w asn't expecti ng that...I n the
cafeteria."
" I tol d you, Stasee. I'm goi ng
to change...I don't
care w hat they th i n k ,
especial l y C an d ise. You are
the on l y person I care about
an d I'm not goi ng to
be afrai d of sho w i ng that." H e
loo k ed out
w i n dsh iel d before ad d i ng,
"an y more."
I nod ded m y head as I peered
out the w i n do w . I
cou l d feel m y chee ks sl ightl y
turn i ng red so I
changed the su b ject. "So,
w here are w e goi ng?"
" I w as th i n k i ng of j ust
head i ng to m y house. I
mean, i f that's o k ay w ith you?"
" Yah, that's great."
~~
" D i d you w ant someth i ng to
dri n k?" D amen ask ed
me once w e f i nal l y made it to
h is house.
I w as sitti ng on the couch i n
h is l i v i ng room as he
stood at the d i n i ng room
entrance loo k i ng over at
me.
"Just w ater is f i ne." I rep l ied.
H e nod ded before
d isap peari ng.
M y eyes began to w an der
arou n d the room; it w as
b ig an d yet com p letel y coz y.
T here w ere large
w i n do w the loo k ed out at
their front yard, the su n
sh i ned through l ighti ng the
p lace u p. T heir
couches w ere a beige color
w ith hard w ood f loori ng
an d
b lac k glass top cof fee tab le
an d si de tab les.
T here w as no T . V b ut a b ig
f irep lace sat w here
the T . V w ou l d have been.
I turned m y head beh i n d me
as I heard footsteps
com i ng i nto the l i v i ng room. I
w as a l ittle surprised
at w hat I seen. It w asn't
D amen; i nstead it w as
K aris w eari ng noth i ng b ut a
gu ys su perman t-sh irt
an d u n der w ear. I i n verted m y
eye bro ws i n
con f usion as I w atched her
face turn a d i f ferent
shade of p i n k . She p u l led
do w n on the bottom of
the sh irt try i ng to cover her
bare legs.
" K aris? W hat are you doi ng
here?" I f i nal l y ask ed.
She stared me w ith the same
w i de eyes, " I shou l d
be ask i ng you the same th i ng."
" Yah, w el l, I ask ed you f irst."
T he loo k of surprise on her
face q u ic k l y van ished
as she ran over to me an d
p lop ped do w n on the
couch; sti l l w eari ng noth i ng
b ut the t-sh irt an d
u n der w ear. " I slept here last
n ight." She sai d w ith
a sm i le that reached her eyes.
" W hat?! T el l me more..." I sai d
exciti ngl y.
K aris' sm i le gre w as she w ent
i nto detai l about
w hat had hap pened.
A p parentl y, K aris had gotten
a l ittle too dru n k last n ight
an d Bran don en ded u p
hav i ng to ta k e care of her. H e
w as bri ngi ng her
home w hen she had b l urted
out her true feel i ngs
for h i m. Bran don brought her
here an d let her
sleep on h is bed; w hen they
w o k e u p th is morn i ng
they deci ded to sk i p school
an d tal k .
" W e f i nal l y tal k ed about
everyth i ng." She sm i led,
" he's l i k ed me for years Stasee,
b ut he w as too
scared to say an yth i ng."
" Yah, I k i n d of got that v i be." I
p u l led m y k nees
u p to m y chest an d w rap ped
m y arms arou n d
them.
" I th i n k , b ut don't q uote me on
th is, b ut I th i n k w e
m ight be...l i k e, of f icial l y
dati ng." She b l ushed, " he
k issed me!"
" A w w w w , Seriousl y?" I felt
l i k e I w as bei ng
w atched as I turned m y head
an d sa w D amen
lean i ng on the door w ay. H e
sm i led u p at me
before w av i ng h is han d
d ism issi vel y; a w ay of
say i ng he d i d n't w ant to
i nterru pt us.
" Yes!" She cried out hap p i l y,
" it w as m y f irst real
k iss an d oh m y god, Stasee, it
w as magical!" She
sighed hap p i l y before
conti n u i ng, "so w hat
hap pened to you last n ight?
Last I remem ber you
had d isap peared w ith D erre k ."
I nstantl y m y eyes shot over to
D amen; though he
sti l l stood there w ith h is sexy
l ittle sm ir k . K aris'
eyes fol lo w ed m i ne as she
f i nal l y real i zed D amen
w as stan d i ng there.
" | O ooooh." She sai d as i f that
exp lai ned everyth i ng.
" I'l l tel l you about it later." I
f i nal l y stated even
though I had n't deci ded i f I
even w anted to tel l
her. H onestl y, I d i d n't w ant to
ever tal k about it
agai n.
" I'l l hol d you to that." K aris
sai d w h i le getti ng u p
of f the couch. She loo k ed over
at D amen an d then
bac k at
me before w i n k i ng. " I shou l d
probab l y get
bac k u p stairs before Bran don
gets w orried." She
b it her l i p before sk i p p i ng out
of the l i v i ng room;
not even cari ng about her hal f-
na k ed ness.
D amen's eyes stayed loc k ed
on me; even as K aris
w al k ed b y h i m i n noth i ng b ut
a t-sh irt. H e sat
do w n besi de me w h i le
han d i ng me over a glass of
w ater. "So, ap parentl y m y
l ittle bro had a
girl frien d." H e sm ir k ed.
" A p parentl y." I gri n ned bac k
before ta k i ng a si p of
m y w ater.
I loo k ed u p at D amen as m y
eye scan ned over h is
bod y, ta k i ng i n every detai l.
H e w as com p letel y
breathta k i ng, every feature too
perfect to be real.
I cou l d sit there an d stare at
h i m for days an d be
utterl y content i n doi ng so. I
felt l i k e reach i ng u p
to touch h i m j ust to prove to
m ysel f that th is
w asn't a fragment of m y
i magi nation; that today's
events w ere real.
*R i ng, ri ng, ri ng*
T he
sou n d of m y cel l p hone
ri ngi ng forced me to
j u m p sl ightl y out of surprise. I
giggled before
reach i ng i nto m y poc k et an d
p u l l i ng it out. I loo k ed
do w n at the cal ler I D ; ' D erre k'.
" I w on der
w hat he w ants..." I m u m b led
to m ysel f
as D amen pee k ed over m y
shou l der try i ng to see
w hat I w as tal k i ng about.
" H el lo?" I answ ered the p hone.
"Stasee!?"
D erre k's urgent voice echoed
in my
ears.
" D erre k , is that you?"
" Yes! Stasee,
you need you h urry!" H e
exclai med;
he sou n ded l i k e he w as on the
verge of cry i ng.
" W hat... D erre k , w hat are you
tal k i ng-"
He
q u ic k l y cut me of f, " L iam!" H e
gasped out,
" L iam! H e never made it to
C al i forn ia!"
C hapter 22

I felt m y heart si n k as the

w hole w orl d arou n d me
became a l ittle d istant mov ie. I
hel d m y breath as
I stared out at the f irep lace i n
front of me. I felt
u nab le to form w ords i n m y
mouth as D erre k's
w ords began to si n k i n. - H e
never made it to
C al i forn ia- T he w ord's echoed
i n m y m i n d as
thousan ds of possi b i l ities
circu lated through m y
head.
" W-w hat do you mean?" I
stuttered as I loo k ed
over at D amen w ith w i de eyes.
H e loo k ed bac k at
me w ith curiosity though I
com p letel y ignored h i m
as al l m y attention w as
d irected to w ards D erre k
on the p hone.
" I don't have an y ti me for th is,
Stasee. Just come
to L iam's house...F A S T!?" H is
urgent voice forced
me to th i n k of the w orst case
scenario.
" G et of f the p hone!" I cou l d
hear m y brother's
d istant voice yel l i ng i n the
bac k grou n d. T he l i ne
i nstantl y w ent dead as m y
mouth drop ped an d m y
cel l p hone fel l to the grou n d. I
cou l d hear it h itti ng
the hard w ood f loori ng as the
bac k p iece bro k e of f
an d scattered across the f loor.
" W e need to go!" I pan ic k ed as
I stood u p from
the couch an d began to ru n
to w ards the front
door. I cou l d hear D amen's
footsteps ru n n i ng
beh i n d me.
"Stasee, Stasee! W hat's goi ng
on?" H e ask ed as
he f i nal l y caught u p to me,
grab b i ng onto m y arm;
turn i ng me to face h i m.
" T-T rent... W e have to go!" I
cried out; ma k i ng
absol utel y no sense. I turned
to face the door as I
p u l led it open an d ran out i nto
the ch i l l y n ight air.
D amen fol lo w ed me an d I
cou l d tel l he w as utterl y
con f used b y the w ay he k ept
stari ng at me l i k e I
w as some ru n-a w ay-mental-
patient. "Stasee!" H e
yel led out, try i ng to get m y
attention w h ich,
surprisi ngl y enough w or k ed.
I turned arou n d to face h i m
an d even though I
stood com p letel y sti l l, m y
w hole bod y w as mov i ng
at an u n heard of pace. M y
heart ham mered fast
i nsi de m y chest as m y bod y
conti n ued to sha k e
w ith anxiety. I felt m y k nee's
w ea k en i ng beneath
me as m y head span out of
control.
" W hat is goi ng on?" D amen
deman ded.
I k ne w our ti me w as l i m ited
an d D amen's constant
q uestions w ere on l y slo w i ng
us do w n. I rol led m y
eyes angri l y before rep lay i ng
m i ne an d D erre k's
con versation to h i m. A l l m y
w ords seemed to m ix
i n together as I spo k e as fast as
an auctioneer. I
cou l d barel y u n derstan d w hat
I w as say i ng b ut
D amen seemed to of got the
j ust of it because
before I cou l d even f i n ish, he
w as alread y ru n n i ng
to w ards h is truc k .
E very secon d felt l i k e a
m i n ute an d every m i n ute
felt l i k e an hour as I j u m ped
i nto the truc k an d w e
sped do w n the street.
D i f ferent scenes began to
circu late through m y m i n d as
both D amen an d I
sat i n the truc k si lentl y. I
w atched as normal
th i ngs passed b y m y w i n do w
as w e drove; k i ds
p lay i ng hap p i l y, cute ol d
cou p les hol d i ng han ds as
they w al k ed do w n the
si de w al k , dogs ru n n i ng
arou n d i n their yards.
E veryth i ng seemed so
normal an d yet m y l i fe w as the
com p lete op posite.
I w as dri v i ng to m y al most
rap ist's house to most
l i k el y f i n d h i m strangled to
death b y m y brother.
Just the thought of it forced
m y stomach to turn
as I tried to hol d m ysel f bac k
from p u k i ng. It real l y
had
noth i ng to do w ith L iam; I
mean I cou l d
al most care less about w hat
m ight've hap pened to
h i m.
N o, al l m y w orry an d d istress
w as for T rent an d
on l y T rent. H onestl y, I never
real l y thought he
w as capab le of doi ng the
th i ngs that w ere no w
f lash i ng through m y head b ut
then agai n, I had
never seen h i m as angry as he
w as th is morn i ng. I
closed m y eyes as I i magi ned
m ysel f w al k i ng i nto
L iam's house; a com p lete
b lood bath. E ven though
it w as on l y m y i magi nation
ma k i ng these scenes
u p i n m y o w n head it sti l l
had n't stop ped m y
stomach from drop p i ng.
L iam's dead, motion less bod y
l y i ng on the grou n d
as T rent stood u p besi de h i m.
A b lood y k itchen
k n i fe clenched i n h is han d as
pol ice barged i n
through the doors. A l l of
them; loo k i ng over at
L iam's bod y before chargi ng at
m y brother; ta k i ng
h i m do w n to the grou n d hard.
A s T rent fel l to the
grou n d, h is face w ou l d smash
agai nst the f loor
before eru pti ng i n b lood.
I nstantl y I opened m y eyes,
desperatel y try i ng to
sha k e the thought a w ay. T rent
w ou l d n't do that,
he cou l d n't, there w as j ust no
w ay.
"Stasee..." D amen's soft voice
i nterru pted m y
thoughts as I loo k ed over to
h i m. " It's goi ng to be
o k ay."
H e reached over to me an d
tuc k ed m y hair beh i n d
m y ear. H is f i ngers trai led
do w n m y nec k; the l ight
touch
of h is rough sk i n agai nst the
softness of
m i ne forced the hair on m y
arms to stan d u p. H is
f i ngers conti n ued to do w n
to w ards m y col lar bone
before h is han d lan ded on m y
shou l der. G entl y, he
began to massage m y shou l der
as he loo k ed u p at
me w ith cari ng eyes; utter
concern mask ed h is
face.
" It...It's a-al l m y f-fau lt..." I
m urm ured as m y
eyes began to f i l l u p w ith
w ater. I closed m y eyes
l ightl y as t w o tears tric k led
do w n m y chee ks.
D amen's arm sna k ed arou n d
m y nec k as he p u l led
me i n to w ards h i m. I scooted
over to the m i d d le
seat as I sn uggled agai nst h is
w arm bod y. H e
tightened h is hol d on me for a
secon d before
loosen i ng it; he began to t w irl
stran ds of m y hair
bet w een h is f i ngers.
" H o w is it your fau lt?" H e
w h ispered q u ietl y as he
let go of m y hair an d began to
caress m y arm.
I sl ightl y b it do w n on m y
bottom l i p as another
tear trai led do w n m y face, " I f I
h-had n't tried to
c-change... T hen m-may be
L iam w ou l d n't of..." M y
voice began to trai l of f as more
tears left m y
eyes.
" W hat!?" D amen staggered; h is
han d i nstantl y
stop ped ru b b i ng me. H e
shoo k h is head as he
loo k ed out of the w i n dsh iel d
w ith d isgust. "Stasee,
do N O T
b lame yoursel f for w hat
hap pened. It w as
N O T your fau lt...L iam has
al w ays been a d isturbed
boy an d w hat he d i d w as
w rong. V ery W rong!"
" B ut-"
" N o, it doesn't matter i f you
w ore clothes a l ittle
more out there; that sti l l does
not mean w hat
L iam d i d w as right!" H e
gro w led f uriousl y, "even i f
he w ou l d have done that to
C an d ise; it sti l l w ou l d
N O T have been right nor
w ou l d it have been her
fau lt. It w as L iam's fau lt...So
don't you dare try to
b lame yoursel f." H e exhaled
deep l y, "o k ay?"
M y face w as gleamed w ith
w etness as I sha k i l y
began to nod m y head. I
loo k ed u p at D amen as
h is crisp y eyes began to gro w
soft once agai n. H e
loo k ed do w n at me rel uctantl y
before tighten i ng
h is gri p arou n d m y shou l ders.
H e then hel d me
close agai nst h is o w n bod y as I
n u z z led i nto h i m.
" I'm sorry, I d i d n't mean to
yel l." H e sai d q u ietl y.
A smal l sm i le t w itched as the
corner of m y l i ps, " I
k no w ."
H e loo k ed bac k do w n at me
an d sm i led sw eetl y,
al most i n a than k f u l k i n d of
w ay. I w atched h i m as
h is head bent do w n sl ightl y
an d he pressed h is l i ps
gentl y
agai nst the top of m y head.
T he smal l-
al most i n v isi b le sm i le on m y
face gre w as m y
chee k f l ushed p i n k . I f i d d led
w ith arou n d w ith the
hem of m y sh irt before
loo k i ng a w ay sh y l y. E ven
at ti mes l i k e th is, D amen
managed to ma k e me
sm i le; it w asn't a large sm i le
an d may be it w asn't
even consi dered a sm i le b ut
either w ay I glad he
w as here. I lai d m y head bac k
agai nst h is chest as
I attem pted to get as close to
h i m as h u man l y
possi b le.
I cleared m y throat, " do you
k no w w here L iam
l i ves?" I ask ed h i m as I loo k ed
out the w i n do w
w atch i ng as w e passed b y
more houses. H onestl y,
I had no cl ue w here w e w ere
an y more.
" Yes...its a l ittle w ays out. I'm
try i ng to go as fast
as I can w ithout bei ng p u l led
over."
I nod ded m y head agai nst h is
chest. H is one han d
stayed gl ued to the stirri ng
w heel as h is other
han d conti n ued to ru b m y arm
com forti ngl y. I
loo k ed over at the car cloc k; it
had on l y been 10
m i n utes si nce w e left D amen's
house though it
felt l i k e an etern ity.
E very secon d that w ent b y
seemed l i k e a secon d
too m uch. A n yth i ng cou l d
hap pen i n a secon d an d
as m y m i n d began to w an der
once agai n I w ished
w e cou l d j ust be there alread y.
T houghts of T rent
bei ng loc k ed u p i n jai l for l i fe
scared me more than
w ords cou l d
express. H e w as m y brother,
m y best
frien d; I loved h i m more than
both m y parents
com b i ned.
O nce agai n, I tried to sha k e
the thought out of m y
mind
b ut it seemed to be clogged i n
there. I j ust
k ept rep lay i ng the horri f ic
possi b i l ities of w hat
cou l d be hap pen i ng at th is
precise moment.
E ven w ith D amen's arms
w rap ped securel y arou n d
me; it sti l l d i d n't gi ve me the
com fort I needed.
T here w as no den y i ng that
h i m bei ng here, hel ped
me to k eep some w hat control
of m y san ity, b ut
even so it w asn't enough to
k eep the bad
thoughts a w ay.
"Stasee..." D amen's hesitant
voice brought m y
attention bac k to real ity.
" Yah?"
"... W e're here."

C hapter 23
M y heart stop ped as I slo w l y
loo k ed u p at the
house that w e w ere no w
par k ed i n front of.
E veryth i ng loo k ed so normal;
it w as j ust your
regu lar house i n w h ich w asn't
too b ig nor too
smal l. It w as a perfect l ittle
coz y house w ith b l ue
stucco si d i ngs w ith b lac k
roof i ng. T hree steps led
u p to the smal l porch w h ich a
cute l ittle sw i ng
chair sat besi de the w h ite
front door.
I too k a deep breath before
loo k i ng u p to D amen,
"so...I guess w e'd better go
f i n d T rent an d
D erre k?" I w h ispered q u ietl y;
sti l l feari ng w hat it
is w e w ou l d f i n d.
D amen nod ded h is head as he
turned of f the
engi ne. I reached a sha k y han d
over to the door
han d le an d opened u p the
truc k door; slo w l y
cl i m b i ng out of the truc k ,
bei ng caref u l not to fal l.
" H ang u p the p hone!"
I nstantl y m y bod y froze as
T rent's yel l i ng voice
reached m y ears; he w as i nsi de
the house. M y
stomach turned i nsi de me;
there w as someth i ng
about h is voice that honestl y
scared me. Su d den l y
m y heart began to race as I
q u ic k l y ran to w ards
the house not w asti ng another
secon d. I cou l d
vaguel y hear D amen ru n n i ng
after me though I
com p letel y ignored h i m as I
ran u p the stairs an d
reached the door. I d i d n't even
bother k noc k i ng as
I grab bed the door k nob an d
p ushed agai nst the
door; f u m b l i ng i nto the house.
"Stasee?!"
O nce I caught m y balance I
turned m y head to
loo k over at T rent. M y eyes
w ent w i de w ith
com p lete horror. T he w hole
l i v i ng room w as a
d isaster; the glass cof fee tab le
w as smashed i nto
ti n y peices, framed p icture
scattered across the
f loor, the space rug w as
scru nch u p an d l y i ng i n a
corner of the room an d most of
the cush ions from
the couch w ere thro w n arou n d
ran dom l y. T he
w hole l i v i ng room loo k ed as i f
a smal l tornado had
b lo w n through an d destroyed
everyth i ng.
I loo k ed bac k u p at T rent. H e
w as stan d i ng there
w ith h is arm securel y w rap ped
arou n d the nec k of
a ch u b b y l ittle red head; L iam.
B lood smeared
across T rent's face, starti ng at
h is nose i n w h ich
honestl y loo k ed bro k en. H is
hair w as a com p lete
mess on top of h is head an d as
m y eye's trai led
over to L iam he loo k ed j ust as
bad. H is l i p loo k ed
as i f it had been cut right open
an d there w as a
smal l b lac k bru ise alread y
form i ng u n der h is eye.
B ut that w as def i n itel y not the
w orst of it. I
loo k ed bac k u p at T rent as
someth i ng f i nal l y
caught m y eye...Someth i ng I
had n't seen at f irst.
I n h is free han d he w as
hol d i ng a han d gu n; the
gu n d irectl y poi nted at L iam's
head. T ears ran
do w n L iam's face as he barel y
even ac k no w ledged
m y presence. H e stood there
sq u irm i ng agai nst
T rent's hol d as he conti n ued to
beg for h is l i fe i n
q u iet al most si lent sobs.
" T-T rent..." I barel y
w h ispered.
D amen su d den l y w as
stan d i ng right besi de me as
he began to ta k e i n the w hole
scene.
" T rent! W hat are you doi ng?"
D amen's stern voice
echoed through the room.
I began to scan the room i n
search of D erre k .
F i nal l y I sa w h i m on the other
si de of the room
stan d i ng agai n the w al l
hol d i ng h is han ds u p i n the
air as i f he w ere surren deri ng.
H e loo k ed over at
me w ith sl ight rel ief as he
mouthed the w ords
'T han k god.'
T rent shoo k h is head
ob v iousl y try i ng to get over
the shoc k of D amen an d I
bargi ng i nto the house.
" H e can't get a w ay w ith w hat
he d i d to you
Stasee!" H e sai d stari ng at me
an d on l y me as he
sl ightl y loosened h is gri p on
L iam.
" O k ay, that may be true b ut
sti l l T rent, th is w i l l
not sol ve an yth i ng!" I f i nal l y
rep l ied once I fou n d
m y voice. I slo w l y too k a step
for w ard so I w as
once agai n stan d i ng next to
D amen.
"St-Stay bac k!" T rent stuttered
as he n u dged the
gu n agai nst L iam's head w h ich
forced me to
freeze. M y w hole bod y w as
not v i brati ng i n fear
an d w orry; I cou l d n't bel ieve
m y o w n eyes, it w as
al most as i f T rent had passed
the poi nt of san ity.
B ut I guess th is w as normal
behav ior for a brother
w ho w ou l d risk h is o w n l i fe
for the safety of h is
l ittle sister; he is m y b ig
brother an d pretty m uch
m y both m y parents i n one. H e
feels the need to
protect me an d w ou l d
ob v iousl y go to an y extent
to do so...even i f it w ere
moral l y w rong an d
com p letel y out of character for
h i m.
" T rent, Please. T he pol ice are
on their w ay...You
can't do th is!" D erre k f i nal l y
spo k e u p though he
d i d n't dare move an i nch as he
d i d so.
T he Pol ice? I thought to
m ysel f as I began to
pan ic. T he thought of m y
brother bei ng sent to
jai l forced tears to emerge i n
m y eyes. I cou l d n't
l i ve w ithout T rent, he cou l d n't
go to jai l... H e j ust
cou l d n't.
A nger q u ic k l y mask ed T rent's
face, " D erre k , I tol d
you to sh ut u p!" T rent bar k ed
bac k at h i m. " W h y
are you protecti ng L iam? D o
you have a 'th i ng' for
h i m or someth i ng?" M y
brother h issed jealousl y.
" N o! I j ust don't w ant to lose
Y O U!" D erre k cried
bac k .
T rent stared at D erre k for a
fe w m y moments as
frustration an d sad ness began
to ta k e over h is
face as he k ept h is eyes loc k ed
w ith D erre k's.
I nstantl y, I cou l d j ust see the
passion an d love
they felt for each other; j ust b y
loo k i ng bet w een
the t w o of them an y bod y
cou l d tel l ho w m uch
they tru l y cared for one
another.
E ven D erre k; b ig tough,
asshole D erre k w as
stan d i ng there tears rol l i ng
do w n h is chee ks i n
fear of losi ng T rent. H e stood
there k no w i ng that
mov i ng w ou l d on l y anger
T rent f urther; stay i ng
sti l l, he loo k ed at T rent w ith
p lead i ng eyes. I cou l d
j ust tel l b y h is face expression
that he w as feel i ng
the same emotions I w as
feel i ng. N ot fear for
L iam b ut fear of losi ng the one
person he cared
about most i n the w orl d;
T rent.
" T he Pol ice?... W-w ho cal led
the pol ice?" I f i nal l y
b utted i n.
T he secon d the w ords left m y
l i ps I regretted
say i ng it. T rent's teeth gri n d
together f uriousl y as
com p lete hatred gre w i n h is
eyes. " L iam d i d..." H e
gro w led i n a lo w voice as h is
eyes loo k ed do w n at
the f loor.
I then fol lo w ed h is gaze do w n
to the grou n d as m y
eyes
fel l on a smal l cel l p hone that
w as no w
bro k en i nto t w o separate
p ieces.
" O h T rent..." I w h ispered
q u ietl y.
I felt D amen's han d reach
to w ards m i ne an d
i ntert w i ne bet w een m y
f i ngers; l ightl y he
sq ueezed m y han d
encouragi ngl y. It w as such a
smal l gesture b ut even so it
w as al l I needed to
k eep m ysel f from fal l i ng
apart.
I loo k ed u p at D amen as I
w atched h is eyes trai l
to w ards T rent; he hel d h is
head u p h igh as he
shoo k h is head slo w l y. I had
to ad m ire h i m; he
w as probab l y the on l y one of
al l of us w ho w as
ab le to stay com p letel y cal m i n
such a hel l ish
situation.
" T rent." H e spo k e softl y b ut
stern l y, " you have to
p ut the gu n do w n an d let go of
L iam. I k no w ho w
m uch you w ant to ma k e h i m
su f fer b ut k i l l i ng h i m
is on l y goi ng to h urt Stasee
more."
" Yah!?" T rent fought bac k ,
"an d ho w w ou l d Y O U
k no w ho w m uch I w ant to
ma k e h i m su f fer?"
" Because I w ant to ma k e h i m
su f fer for w hat he
d i d to her!" H e sai d as I w atch
h is control began
to sl i p. " T here is noth i ng I
w ou l d l i k e more than
too force h i m to lay on the
grou n d an d beg for h is
l i fe as I ri p h is head..." H e
trai led of f as he
real i zed h is voice w as gro w i ng
lou der an d lou der
w ith anger.
T rent ch uc k led, a laugh that
honestl y forced the
hair on m y arms to stan d u p.
H e sou n ded
com p letel y d i f ferent an d
psychotic; noth i ng l i k e
m y b ig brother.
" Yes, because you C A R E for
m y sister so
m uch... H u h, D amen? I f you
actual l y d i d care for
her you w ou l d n't have treated
her l i k e com p lete
sh it...Your al most as B A D as
L iam!" T rent spat.
" T rent... D on't." D erre k sai d as
he f i nal l y lo w ered
h is arms.
T rent's w ords forced D amen to
lo w er h is head i n
w hat I'm guessi ng w as shame.
I cou l d see the
sad ness on h is face as he
l ightl y b it do w n on h is
l i p. H e sl ightl y l i fted h is head
as he began to
spea k though h is voice w as
not nearl y as f irm as
before, " D erre k , it's o k ay... H e's
right." H e
w h ispered q u ietl y as he
loo k ed to w ards me as i f
he w ere try i ng to exp lai n
h i msel f to me rather
than T rent. " I made a
m ista k e... A fe w m ista k es. I
honestl y had, sti l l have, strong
feel i ngs for you
Stasee, b ut I don't k no w . I w as
bei ng th ic k
headed; a jer k , an ass, a
pric k ... T here are so
man y w ords to descri be w hat
a com p lete i d iot I
w as an d I'm so sorry."
" D amen, it's o k ay. I k no w ..." I
then sq ueezed h is
han d th is ti me.
" N o, Stasee j ust let me f i n ish."
I nod ded m y head as si lence
f i l led the room. W el l,
al most everyone w as si lent
asi de L iam w ho w as
sti l l sob b i ng an d no w
h iccu p p i ng as he m uttered
someth i ng along the l i nes of
'Let me go, p lease,
p lease, p lease, don't, don't,
don't.' H onestl y, I
don't even th i n k he k ne w
w hat w as hap pen i ng
an y more.
D amen reached to w ards me as
h is cu p ped m y
face i n h is free han d. " I k no w I
w as stu p i d an d
i m mature, letti ng the stu p i d
j u dgmental k i ds at
school ru le m y l i fe. It too k me
a w h i le b ut I f i nal l y
real i zed it doesn't matter w hat
they th i n k ... T hey
don't matter to me. I cou l d l i ve
w ithout them b ut I
can't l i ve w ithout you." H e
stared me straight i n
the eyes as he spo k e so
si ncerel y; honestl y, for
the fe w secon ds he w as
spea k i ng I had com p letel y
forgotten
w here w e w ere an d w hat w as
hap pen i ng. " I w as so w orried
about m y rep utation
w h ich w as com p letel y stu p i d.
I don't even
u n derstan d ho w I cou l d have
even remotel y been
em barrassed of you. You are
the most amaz i ng
girl I have ever met. T hat
n ight I brought you u p
onto the cl i f f? I have never i n
m y l i fe sat u p al l
n ight long an d j ust tal k ed; w e
tal k ed about
everyth i ng an d even poi ntless
th i ngs l i k e w ho
w ou l d w i n i n a f ight-"
" Batman or Su perman..." I
f i n ished h is sentence
as I felt m y l i ps begi n to form
a smal l sm i le.
" Yes." H e sl ightl y sm i led bac k ,
" from d usk u nti l
da w n; w e j ust tal k ed an d yet
that w as probab l y
one of the best n ights of m y
l i fe. A lso Stasee,
your real an d you don't try to
be someone you're
not."
" A si de from yesterday..." I sai d
q u ietl y w h ich
made h i m sm i le agai n.
" T hat doesn't even
matter...You're sti l l the best
th i ng that has ever hap pened
to me Stasee Rai ne
an d I'm sorry it too k me so
long to real i ze that."
It felt as i f m y heart had
melted i nsi de me as I
loo k ed i nto D amen's chocolate
bro w n eyes.
B utterf l ies had ta k en over m y
stomach as the
urge to j u m p i nto D amen's
arms gre w stronger. I
w anted so bad l y to w rap m y
arms arou n d h i m an d
never let h i m go b ut I k ne w
that w ou l d have to
w ait for later. I then loo k ed
bac k over to w ards m y
brother; h is gri p on L iam
seemed to of loosen a
l ittle once agai n.
" Let me go!" L iam's voice cried
out as he n u dged
i nto T rent. E veryth i ng seemed
to go i nto slo w
motion as T rent began to
stu m b le bac k w ards. I
even w atched as h is f ists
clenched; h is i n dex
f i nger sl i p ped agai nst the
trigger as a lou d bang
echoed throughout the w hole
house. E veryone
began scream i ng from the
lou d noise as an
i n v isi b le force shot me to the
grou n d. I groaned as
I fel l to m y k nees an d han ds
as m y head i nstantl y
began to sp i n.
"S-Stasee...I'm sorry. O h m y
god, Stasee!! I-I
d i d n't mean to!" T rent cried
out as tears began to
gush out of h is eyes. H e
drop ped the gu n an d ran
to w ards m y b ut merel y stood
u p stari ng do w n at
me i n shoc k .
I loo k ed u p at h is a l ittle
con f used. W hat w as he
tal k i ng about, w h y w as he
apologi z i ng. I felt
someth i ng w et on m y han d as
I loo k ed do w n a
sa w a smal l pool of b lood
u n derneath me. W ho's
b lood w as that? I thought to
m ysel f, b ut as soon
as the thought came to m y
m i n d u n bearab le pai n
p ierced through m y entire
bod y as I screamed out
i n utter agon y. I fel l to the
f loor on m y si de as m y
han d reached u p to m y
stomach w here it felt l i k e
m y w hole bod y had been
ri p ped i n hal f. M y entire
sh irt w as covered i n th ic k
l i q u i d as m y screams
conti n ued to p ierce the air.
I opened m y eyes as I sa w
D amen k neel do w n
besi de me; he w as p u l l i ng h is
sw eater of f. " You'l l
be o k ay, Stasee. Stay w ith me,
k eep your eyes
open." H e managed to say
though the tears that
covered h is entire face. H e w as
breath i ng heav i l y
ob v iousl y not getti ng enough
air i n h is l u ngs as he
began to f u l l outcry.
I cou l d vaguel y here the sou n d
of sirens i n the
bac k grou n d b ut w asn't sure i f
it w as j ust i n m y
head. " I-I-I..." I tried to tal k b ut
w as cut of f as I
began to cough.
"Sh h h h." E ven D amen's sha k y
voice seemed
d istant. I struggled to k eep m y
eyes open as I
w atched D amen scru nch u p
h is sw eater. H e
moved m y han d of m y
stomach an d pressed h is
sw eater agai nst w hat I guess
w as the b u l let
w ou n d. I screamed lou d l y as
he p ut pressure onto
the w ou n d; it h urt so bad l y
b ut I k ne w he w as j ust
try i ng to slo w do w n the
b leed i ng.
"Stasee, I'm sorry! I'm Sorry.
W hat have I done!"
T rent cried out before
i nstantl y turn i ng arou n d to
glare at L iam. " T h is is al l
Y O U R fau lt!"
" T-T rent, don't." D erre k
p leaded as I w atched
T rent begi n to ad vance on the
ch u b b y red head.
L iam ran to w ards the gu n
T rent had drop ped to
the f loor an d q u ic k l y p ic k ed it
u p an d poi nted it
to w ards T rent. "St-stay a w ay!"
L iam stuttered as
h is sha k y han d hel d onto the
gu n tightl y.
" L I A M ! Put that do w n!"
D erre k screamed w ith
frustration.
Su d den l y the doors b urst open
as 5 pol icemen
barged i nto the house. I don't
th i n k they w ere
expecti ng an yone to have a
w eapon because as
their eyes lan ded on L iam
w ith the gu n they al l
seemed to of ta k en a step
bac k . T w o cops spotted
me an d D amen on the f loor as
one of them
pressed the b utton on their
rad io.
" C i v i l ian shot... W e need bac k
u p!" T he of f icer
urged i nto the rad io.
" L iam...Put the gu n do w n."
O ne of the Pol ice
of f icers w ho ob v iousl y k ne w
the boy sai d cal m l y.
" B ut.." L iam began to protest. I
cou l d hear more
sirens i n the bac k grou n d;
though they w ere
d i f ferent from the f irst ones
w h ich led me to
bel ieve it w as an am b u lance.
"Put the w eapon do w n an d
p ut your han ds i n the
air!" T he cop sai d more
stern l y.
I d i d n't loo k over to L iam
because I w as begi n n i ng
to feel w ea k er b ut I f igured he
had l istened
because i nstantl y the cops ran
to w ards h i m.
D amen w rap ped h is arms
arou n d me tightl y
though h is k ept pressure on
m y stomach w ou n d.
T ears f looded h is face; rol l i ng
do w n h is chee ks
an d sp lash i ng agai nst m y face.
M y eyes w ere
gro w i ng heav ier an d heav ier
from the mass
amou nt of b lood I had lost. I
d i d n't k no w ho w
m uch longer I cou l d k eep m y
eyes open; I w as j ust
so tired.
"Stasee...P-p lease... D -don't
Leave m-me." D amen
cried
as he hel d me close agai nst
h i m. I cou l d
vaguel y hear a cop try i ng to
get D amen a w ay
from me b ut everyth i ng
seemed to j ust become so
d istant. T he on l y
sou n d that reached m y ears
w as
D amen's voice an d I l i k ed it
better that w ay.
Su d den l y I felt D amen bei ng
torn a w ay from me,
" D on't touch me!" D amen
yel led, "Stasee!
Stasee!" D amen conti n ued to
yel l through h is lou d
sobs. " G et a w ay from
me...S T A SE E!" I felt m ysel f
bei ng rol led onto someth i ng a
l ittle more com f y
than the f loor b ut I cou l d n't
see; everyth i ng had
become j ust a b l ur.
" Let me go! Please, I need to be
w ith her."
D amen's voice conti n ued to
ri ng i n m y ear.
F i nal l y I heard the sou n d of
someone else's voice;
a cop may be?
" W e'l l bri ng you to the
hosp ital D amen...B ut right
no w you have to let her go
i nto the am b u lance."
" B ut...I need to go w ith her!"
" You'l l j ust get i n the W ay
D amen! G et a hol d of
yoursel f; she is i n a critical
state. I'l l bri ng you to
the hosp ital."
D amen w ent si lent for a
moment, before I vaguel y
heard footsteps. I felt
someth i ng l ightl y touch m y
arm an d I k ne w it w as
D amen... O n l y one person
cou l d force ti ngles to shoot
through m y bod y
w h i le bei ng i n such
u n bearab le pai n.
"Stasee.." D amen voice came
out so w ea k , I cou l d
tel l he w as try i ng to sou n d
strong for me b ut he
fai led horri b l y. I cou l d hear
h is sobs; h is tears an d
ru n n i ng nose. I w anted to say
w hat b ut I cou l d n't
even open m y mouth. I felt m y
eye l i ds drop p i ng
more an d more as I heard h is
fai nt voice w h isper,
" I Lov-"
A n d everyth i ng w ent b lac k .

C hapter 24

D amen w ent si lent for a

moment, before I vaguel y
heard footsteps. I felt
someth i ng l ightl y touch m y
arm an d I k ne w it w as
D amen... O n l y one person
cou l d force ti ngles to shoot
through m y bod y
w h i le bei ng i n such
u n bearab le pai n.
"Stasee.." D amen voice came
out so w ea k , I cou l d
tel l he w as try i ng to sou n d
strong for me b ut he
fai led horri b l y. I cou l d hear
h is sobs; h is tears an d
ru n n i ng nose. I w anted to say
w hat b ut I cou l d n't
even open m y mouth. I felt m y
eye l i ds drop p i ng
more an d more as I heard h is
fai nt voice w h isper,
" I Lov-"
A n d everyth i ng w ent b lac k .
~
N ote: T h is chapter IS i n
D amen's perspecti ve..
Remem ber D amen's P. O . V (I
j ust don't w ant you
gu ys to get con f used.)
A n d no w Presenti ng....
Part 24
~ D amen's P. O . V ~
I sat on the hard p lastic seats
i n the w aiti ng room
of the H osp ital. I w atched as a
smal l fam i l y that
consisted of t w o you nger k i ds
an d a mother sat i n
the corner caref u l l y try i ng to
h i de the tears i n
their eyes. A p parentl y the
mother's father w as on
h is death bed an d the doctors
had come to the
concl usion he may not ma k e it
through the n ight.
O n the other si de of me there
w as a bou ncy m i d-
t w enties lad y; her excitement
an d eagerness
made everyone else feel a b it
a w k w ard. She w as
soon to be an au nty; her sister
w as on l y a fe w
doors do w n from Stasee an d
w as i n the m i d d le of
gi v i ng b irth to a bab y boy. Its
craz y al l the th i ngs
you can f i n d out about peop le
j ust b y sitti ng near
them.
B ut w hat's even craz ier is
H osp itals i n general. A
hosp ital can both hol d the
sad dest moments i n
your l i fe an d the hap p iest. It
sees both death an d
b irth; at the same ti me an ol d
man is d y i ng a ne w
man is bei ng born.
I m ysel f w as hav i ng prob lems
try i ng to hol d
m ysel f together; si nce the
moment Stasee w as
ad m itted i nto the hosp ital the
doctors had her i n
the surgery room u n der
i ntensi ve care. T hey
w ou l d n't al lo w me to go see
her an d neither w ou l d
they tel l me ho w she is doi ng.
A p parentl y they
needed to spea k w ith a fam i l y
mem ber b ut her
parents are u nreachab le at the
moment an d T rent
is outsi de the hosp ital hav i ng
a mental brea k
do w n. D erre k's outsi de w ith
h i m an d try i ng to
cal m h i m do w n though I
had n't seen them i n the
past hal f hour.
E veryth i ng j ust seemed l i k e a
horri b le n ightmare.
I k ept closi ng m y eyes hop i ng
w hen I reopened
them I w ou l d be bac k at m y
house sitti ng i n the
l i v i ng room next Stasee. It
never hap pened
though; I'd open m y eyes to
see the sad dened
faces of the smal l fam i l y
across from me.
I had got to the poi nt w here I
cou l d n't even cry
an y more. Before th is w ee k m y
w hole l i fe had
been bori ng an d poi ntless. I
never had an y reason
to l i ve. I had frien ds w ho
cared more about w hat
they loo k ed l i k e than they d i d
about me. I had
parents w ho on l y came arou n d
to tal k about m y
f uture p lan an d never once
actual l y ask i ng me ho w
I
w as doi ng. B ut then i n one
n ight m y w hole l i fe
had ta k en a com p lete change
for the better; or at
least that's ho w it felt at the
ti me.
I w as lay i ng on the couch i n
the l i v i ng room at
T rent's house. I cou l d n't sleep
so ran dom l y I w ent
for a w al k; I w as j ust w al k i ng
u p the stairs w hen I
sa w Stasee leav i ng her
bedroom an d head i ng
to w ards the bathroom. It w as
l i k e it had been the
f irst ti me I had 'actual l y' real l y
seen her. She w as
w eari ng these cute l ittle p i n k
pajama pants an d a
tight b lac k tan k top. She
loo k ed com p letel y
breathta k i ng; even w ith her
bed hair an d of f
balanced sleep y w al k .
C uriosity had gotten the best
of me as I made m y
w ay to w ards her bedroom. I
w al k ed i nto her room
an d began to loo k arou n d; out
of al l m y years
bei ng frien d w ith T rent I had
never actual l y 'seen'
Stasee's room. I w as a b it
surprised at w hat I
fou n d, I mean I never k ne w
an yth i ng about Stasee
b ut sti l l w hen I sa w al l her
su perhero com ic boo ks
scattered across her desk tab le
I smal l sm ir k had
ap peared on m y face.
I had al w ays been a l ittle b it
of a com ic boo k gee k
though it w as a secret
obsession I k ept h i d den
from al l m y 'frien ds' at school.
I conti n ued to roam
arou n d her room u nti l I
reached her large stac k of
C . D 's; bei ng once agai n
surprised as I real i zed she
had al l m y favorite ban ds.
M ost of the k i ds at
K ersha H igh, w el l at least the
peop le I h u ng out
w ith l istened to h i p-hop.
Stasee had C . D 's of Josh
Rad i n, T he T ragical l y H i p,
G reen D ay, T he Sp i l l
C an vas an d so m uch more.
I sat do w n on her bed an d
reach over for a
tattered l ittle boo k on her
n ightstan d tab le, " A
Boo k of Scou n drels" b ut
C harles W h i b ley. I
cou l d n't bel ieve m y eyes, ho w
cou l d she honestl y
have al l m y favorites from m y
most cherished
boo k to m y most l istened to
ban ds. It w as barel y a
secon d later w hen she w al k ed
i nto her room an d
sa w me sitti ng there on her
bed.
I remem ber w a k i ng u p the
next morn i ng; m y arms
had been securel y w rap ped
arou n d her petite
bod y. I had al most i nstantl y
j u m ped out of bed at
I stared do w n at her; she w as
so beauti f u l b ut she
w as T rent's l ittle sister. I
cou l d n't bel ieve w hat I
had j ust done; I cou l d n't
bel ieve I had slept w ith
one of m y best frien ds l ittle
sisters. I had rushed
out of the house w ithout an y
exp lanation an d
i nstantl y regretted it.
A l l w ee k en d Stasee has been
stuc k i n m y head
an d no matter w hat I d i d I
cou l d n't get her out. I
w ent to a party at D erre k's
house; w here Jessica
an d T i f fan y pretty m uch
stri p ped na k ed for me
b ut I sti l l k ept th i n k i ng of
Stasee. I en ded u p
leav i ng the party earl y an d b y
m ysel f.
I fel l so hard for Stasee b ut
w as i n den ial for such
a long ti me. I had never l i k ed
an yone the w ay I
l i k ed Stasee an d it com p letel y
scared me. N o one
had ever had such a strong
hol d on me an d
because of that I conti n ue to
ru n u nti l I f i nal l y
real i zed I cou l d n't l i ve w ithout
her. W hen she
f i nal l y forgave me an d came to
m y house earl ier
today I felt l i k e m y w hole l i fe
had been com p lete.
L i k e th is voi d i nsi de me w as
f i l led an d I f i nal l y had
a reason to l i ve. B ut no w that
reason to l i ve w as
on the verge of leav i ng me
forever.
L i k e I sai d before; I cou l d n't
cry. I d i d n't k no w
w hat w as goi ng on i n the
surgery room b ut the
w orse case scenario w as
begi n n i ng to hau nt me.
T he fam i l y across from me
had been tol d the
w orse ne ws; a loved w as not
goi ng to ma k e it.
W h i le the lad y besi de me had
been tol d the best
ne ws; her sister concei ved a
bab y boy. A sat there
in
the same room w ith t w o of the
most op posite
emotions surrou n d i ng me
w h i le a w aiti ng m y ne ws;
w hether it is the w orst ne ws or
the best ne ws
w as the u nansw ered q uestion
that froze m y bod y
emotion less.
" N o... N o, not m y L iam." I
heard a soft voice cry i ng
from the hal l w ays.
I loo k ed u p w ith curiosity as I
got u p of f the hard
chair; slo w l y I crept over to the
door w ay of the
w aiti ng room an d pea k ed
do w n the hal l. A l icia
Sm itten, a curl y haired red
head n urse w as
stan d i ng a fe w feet a w ay
tal k i ng to one of the
Pol ice of f icers that had w al k ed
i n on the earl ier
scene. T he rather pretty lad y
w ho w as also L iam's
mother had tears rol l i ng do w n
her chee ks as she
conti n ued to sha k e her head i n
den ial.
T he of f icer p laced h is han d
gentl y onto the
n urse's shou l der i n attem pt to
com fort her. " I'm
sorry M rs. Sm itten b ut he
alread y ad m itted to it."
T he pol iceman sai d softl y.
" B-b ut L-L iam w ou l d never sh-
sh-shoot
someone." A l icia cried. " A ren't
you goi ng to do
more i n vestigati ng?"
T he O f f icer sighed l ightl y,
" T here is no need too.
W e caught h i m red han ded
ai m i ng your H usban ds
han d gu n at you ng M r. Rai ne.
W hen he w as
q uestioned; he ad m itted to
shooti ng M iss. Stasee
Rai ne w ithout hesitation."
" N o! O h, p lease... N o.
L iam... N ot m y L iam."
I turned arou n d; not bei ng
ab le to w atch an y more.
I felt both shoc k ed an d gu i lty;
shoc k ed because I
cou l d n't u n derstan d w h y L iam
had ad m itted to
shooti ng Stasee w hen it w as i n
fact T rent w ho
had acci dentl y shot her an d
gu i lty because I
alread y k ne w I w as goi ng to
go along w ith that
story; L iam bei ng the shooter.
I d i d n't so m uch
feel bad for L iam; he deserved
to go to jai l for
w hat he d i d to Stasee b ut I d i d
feel bad for A l icia.
She had al w ays been an
amaz i ng M other an d far
better than most the mothers
i n M cLen nan. I
cou l d n't even i magi ne w hat
th is w as goi ng to do to
the poor lad y emotional l y.
I had j ust sat bac k do w n on
the hard chair w hen a
tal l
dar k haired doctor w al k ed
i nto the w aiti ng
room. H e had been one of the
man y doctors that
had been goi ng i n an d out of
Stasee's room si nce
she got here.
" T rent Rai ne?" H e cal led out
w h i le loo k i ng arou n d
the room. I j u m ped u p to m y
feet as I felt the
q u ic k ham meri ng of m y chest.
" H e's outsi de...It is Stasee?
H o w is she? Please,
tel l me shes alright?" I began
to ram b le as I
q u ietl y raced over to h i m.
H e loo k ed at me sk eptical l y at
f irst, " I shou l d
real l y be spea k i ng to a fam i l y
mem ber."
" T rent's not exactl y sane
enough to tal k right
no w . Please, j ust tel l me! She's
goi ng be
o k ay...p lease tel l me she's
goi ng to be o k ay." I
cou l d alread y feel pools of
w ater f i l l i ng m y eyes.
H e cleared h is throat before
motion i ng to w ards
the hal l w ay w ith h is head. I
fol lo w ed h i m out i nto
the hal l w ays as everyth i ng
arou n d me began to
fade a w ay an d al l I cou l d hear
or see w as the
D octor. O nce w e w ere a w ay
from an y nosy ears
he stop ped an d loo k ed
to w ards me.
"She lost a lot of b lood." H e
began; i nstantl y the
tears i n m y eyes bro k e free as
they fel l do w n m y
face.
" B ut she's o k ay!?" I managed
to yel l out.
" For no w . W e have stab i l i zed
her an d l uc k y the
b u l let m issed al l major organs
an d arteries. T he
b u l let p ierced right through
the si de of her
stomach an d came out at her
si de. It w as on l y a
f lesh w ou n d b ut as I sai d
before; she d i d lose a lot
of b lood."
I w asn't exactl y sure w hat the
D octor w as say i ng;
d i d that mean she w as goi ng
to be o k ay? She lost
a lot of b lood, w hat d i d that
me? I j ust stood
there stari ng at the D octor as
the tears slo w ed
do w n for the moment.
" A t the moment she is
u nconscious an d d ue to the
amou nt of b lood loss her bod y
w ent i nto shoc k;
w e've done everyth i ng w e
cou l d b ut w e can't say
w hether or not she w i l l w a k e
u p."
" W hat?! W hat do you mean?" I
cried out, " w hat
do you mean?!"
" H er bod y reached a h igh level
of shoc k cal led
H emorrhagic shoc k; it
prevented her cel ls from
getti ng enough oxygen w h ich
forced her organs to
begi n to fai l. H er bod y has
gone i nto a coma. It is
no w a w aiti ng game; there is
noth i ng more w e can
do. I'm sorry Sir, it's i n G od's
han ds no w ." D octor
sai d q u ietl y, " b ut you may go
v isit her."
" A ... C-coma? B ut w hen w i l l
she w a k e u p?!"
" It's hard to say..It cou l d be
hours, days, w ee ks,
months... W e can't prom ise you
an yth i ng."
"So w hat are you say i ng, she
m ight not ever...."
M y voice trai led of f.
" I'm sorry..." H e nod ded
slo w l y before turn i ng
arou n d an d d isap peari ng
do w n the hal l w ay.
I stared at the em pty spot
w here the D octor once
stood; it felt he had j ust
cla w ed h is han d i nto m y
chest an d ri p ped m y heart out.
I d i d n't even notice
the mass amou nt of tears
f lood i ng m y face u nti l I
began cho k i ng on m y o w n
sal i va. I fel l hard to the
w h ite f loori ng of the hosp ital
hal l w ays; m y head
fel l i nto m y han ds as m y tears
conti n ued to f lo w .
It w as getti ng m uch harder to
breath as began to
h y perventi late, cho k i ng on m y
tears as I gasped
for oxygen.
A fe w n urses w ere i nstantl y at
m y si de try i ng to
hel p me though al l I w anted
w as to get to
Stasee's room; to w rap her i n
m y arms an d never
let her go.
" You're l iei ng! Sh ut u p... N o!
Please, no!" I heard
T rent's voice echo through the
hal l w ays as I
sl ightl y turned m y head
although I w as sti l l
gasp i ng for air.
A t the far en d of the H osp ital
hal l w ays T rent
stood across from the dar k
haired doctor. I
w atched as he col lapsed i nto
D erre k's arms w h i le
scream i ng through h is lou d
sobs, " no!
Stasee... N o!"
T he n urses arou n d me w ere
try i ng to get me u p
of f the f loor b ut I conti n ued to
p u l l a w ay from
their gri ps as I began to feel
d i z z y. I tried to slo w
m y breath i ng do w n w h i le
attem pti ng to breathe
properl y as tears soa k ed m y
sh irt. I cou l d feel the
w etness ru n n i ng do w n m y
nec k before soa k i ng
i nto m y clothes. Stasee had to
w a k e u p, she had
too...

C hapter 25

T hree w ee ks later...
* D amen's P. O . V C onti n ues*
~
I loo k ed over at the form of a
person l y i ng on the
hosp ital bed. I stood u p of f the
hard chair as I
w al k ed over to her b ut as I
loo k ed do w n m y eyes
w ent w i de. It w as Stasee, b ut
she w as ol d. H er
hair w as w h ite an d her face
w as w ri n k led; she
w as sti l l as beauti f u l as ever
b ut she loo k ed nearl y
n i nety years ol d. I turned
arou n d to loo k i n the
m irror beh i n d me; I reached
u p to m y face as the
m irrors ref lection m i m ic k ed
m y every move.
M y hair w as com p letel y w h ite
as m y face sl ightl y
drooped do w n from years of
grav ity an d I loo k ed
nearl y dead. I coughed as I
turned to loo k bac k
do w n at the sleep i ng w omen
on the bed.
A doctor w al k ed i nto the
hosp ital room; a doctor I
had never seen before.
" D amen, w e need to tal k ." T he
doctor sai d softl y
as he loo k ed do w n at Stasee
then bac k u p at me.
"... A bout w hat?" I ask ed
fearf u l l y; k no w i ng
exactl y w hat he w anted to tal k
about.
" It's been 75 years D amen; she
has no fam i l y left
an y more... W e need your
perm ission to p u l l the
p l ug."
" N o, no...She's goi ng to w a k e
u p, she has too."
" D amen..." T he doctor shoo k
h is head as he
glanced do w n at the ol d lad y
w ho loo k ed so si m i lar
to
Stasee an d yet so d i f ferent.
"She is nearl y 92
years ol d...E ven i f she w ere to
w a k e u p, her heart
is alread y begi n n i ng to fai l
her; she w on't be
strong enough to p u l l
through."
" N o, no...She'l l w a k e
u p...She'l l be f i ne. N o, no,
no." M y voice echoed i n m y
ears as everyth i ng
began to fade a w ay.
~
" D amen... D amen, w a k e u p."
I sprang for w ard as m y eyes
f l u ng open; m y heart
w as pou n d i ng i nsi de m y chest
an d m y bod y w as
drenched i n sw eat. I loo k ed
arou n d the w h ite
room as m y eyes fel l on
Stasee's motion less bod y.
She loo k ed the exact same as
she loo k ed last
n ight, the n ight before an d
even three w ee ks ago.
H er eyes w ere closed sh ut as
her chest conti n ued
to gro w before si n k i ng w ith
each shal lo w breath.
H er hair w as its regu lar deep
bro w n color as it
outl i ned her perfect face. I
sighed w ith rel ief as I
real i zed it had on l y been a
dream.
I sh u f f led arou n d on the hard
chair that I had
been sleep i ng on. M y legs felt
sti f f an d sore from
the a w k w ard sleep i ng
position I w as begi n n i ng to
gro w use to it. For the past
three w ee ks I had
been sleep i ng on that exact
chair every secon d
n ight.
" K aris is on her w ay over
here...She w as
w on deri ng i f you w anted
some cof fee."
I f i nal l y loo k ed u p to w here
the voice w as com i ng
from. M y eyes loc k ed w ith m y
you nger brother's
as I q u ic k l y turned to loo k at
the cloc k . It read
eight th irty i n the morn i ng
w h ich meant I had on l y
gotten at the most
t w o hours of sleep last n ight. I
groaned lou d l y as I rested m y
head on Stasee's
bed. I cou l d n't be mad at
Bran don for w a k i ng me
u p because even i f he had n't,
m y bad dream
surel y w ou l d have.
" W h y aren't you gu ys at
school?" M y voice came
out a lot groggier than I had
expected; I tried to
clear m y throat as I w atched
Bran don b ite do w n
on h is l i p.
" U m m, D amen...It's Saturday."
H e sai d each w ord
slo w l y as i f he w ere tal k i ng to
a mental patient.
" O h. W el l, u h, sure... C of fee
sou n ds good."
Bran don nod ded as he began
to head to w ards the
hal l w ay w h i le p u l l i ng h is cel l
p hone out of h is
poc k et. H e hesitated at the
door w ay before
slo w l y turn i ng arou n d to loo k
bac k over at me.
" D amen..."
"... W hat?"
" You shou l d, w-w el l, you
shou l d real l y go home
an d try to get some rest." H e
spo k e softl y.
" N o!" I glared at h i m, " I'l l be
f i ne... A n d I'm not
leav i ng u nti l D r. M oore k ic ks
me out agai n."
I w atched Bran don sigh
heav i l y before gi v i ng u p
an d head i ng out of the room. I
turned bac k
to w ards Stasee as I reached
m y han d u p an d
brushed her hair beh i n d her
ear. For the past
three w ee ks T rent an d I had
been try i ng to spen d
every secon d of the day here
w ith Stasee b ut
ap parentl y the D octors d i d n't
agree so m uch w ith
the i dea. W ith the hel p of
D erre k an d h is parents'
money, w e d i d manage to
bri be them to let us
v isit her after an d before
v isiti ng hours b ut of
course there w ere con d itions.
T rent an d I both
had to ta k e turns stay i ng the
n ight w ith her; w ith
me stay i ng every secon d n ight
an d T rent every
other.
A p parentl y the i dea of us
sleep i ng on a hard
hosp ital chair every n ight w as
com p letel y out of
the q uestion. T hey also had
gone so far as to k ic k
us out d uri ng school hours;
though i n m y op i n ion it
w as a poi ntless ef fort. E ven
w hen I d i d attem pt to
go to school; I cou l d n't pay
attention to w hat the
teachers sai d. A l most
everyth i ng peop le sai d to
me latel y w ou l d go i n one ear
an d out the other.
T here w as on l y one thought
stuc k i n m y m i n d, one
u nansw ered
q uestion that hau nted me both
a w a k e an d sleep i ng; w i l l she
ever w a k e u p?
Stasee sti l l had n't sho w n an y
signs of a w a k en i ng
b ut I k ne w I w ou l d never gi ve
u p on her. I w ou l d
stay at her bed si de for al l of
etern ity i f I had to.
T he on l y peop le that w ere
real l y there for her
w as T rent, D erre k , K aris,
Bran don an d of course
me. Sure, Stasee's parents had
ob v iousl y come
home w hen they f i nal l y fou n d
out the ne ws b ut
they d i d n't stay very long.
T hey w ere here for the
f irst w ee k b ut had to leave
agai n for w or k . It
honestl y d i d n't surprise very
man y of us; both
Stasee's parents an d m i ne
w ere a lot al i k e. T hey
w ere the ty pe of peop le w ho
cared more about
w or k i ng an d ma k i ng money
than they d i d about
their ch i l dren. T hey f igured as
long as they pai d
the med ical b i l l; they w ere
doi ng a good job.
I sighed heav i l y as I p laced m y
fol ded arms on top
Stasee's bed an d rested head
do w n agai nst them.
I peered outsi de through the
hosp ital w i n do w . T he
w eather
seemed to m i m ic m y mood; it
w as
pouri ng rai n an d had been
l i k e th is for the past
w ee k . W ater smeared across
the w i n do ws ma k i ng
it al most i m possi b le to see
past the f looded glass.
E very day seemed to slo w l y
creep b y; I w ou l d stare
u p at the cloc k as each secon d
tic k ed to the next.
I had probab l y m issed more
school i n the past
three w ee ks than I had w ith i n
the w hole year.
B ut a lot of th i ngs at K ersha
H igh had changed
si nce the acci dent; one bei ng
D erre k an d T rent
goi ng p u b l ic w ith their
i nti mate relationsh i p.
A p parentl y after everyth i ng
that had hap pened
they real i zed that l i fe w as too
short an d en ded u p
k issi ng i n the m i d d le of the
hal l w ays d uri ng the
morn i ng rush. W ith D erre k
an d T rent goi ng p u b l ic
w ith their sexual preferences,
L iam ad m itti ng that
he had shot Stasee, C an d ise
bei ng h u m i l iated i n
front of the entire stu dent
bod y an d me becom i ng
a com p lete loner w ho barel y
sho w ed u p for
school; the w hole ' A class'
sen ior cro w d had
cru m b led to the grou n d.
K el v i n bei ng com p letel y
homop hob ic began hangi ng
out w ith some of the
less k no w n footbal l p layers;
acti ng as i f h is ten
year frien dsh i p w ith T rent
never hap pened.
T i f fan y an d Sam m y f i nal l y
d itched C an d ise an d
deci ded to fol lo w their o w n
dreams rather than
bei ng C an d ise's l ittle
si de k ic ks. C an d ise sti l l
roamed
the
school w ith her head hel d u p
h igh; th i n k i ng
she w as the hottest th i ng si nce
M egan Fox. T he
good ne ws w as; peop le
seemed to en v y her a lot
less no w .
E ven w ith al l of K ersha H igh
com p letel y changi ng
for the better; I sti l l cou l d n't
manage to fa k e a
sm i le. I mean, sure, I w as
hap p y that everyone
w as begi n n i ng to be true to
themsel ves. A lso, me
f i nal l y step p i ng u p an d not
letti ng the j u dgmental
teens of today's society control
m y l i fe had
started some k i n d of ep i dem ic.
B ut I sti l l cou l d n't
gai n the strength to sm i le, not
w hen the w omen
the love w as caught bet w een
l i fe an d death, i n
the dream less state that
consu med her
u nconscious bod y rel y i ng on
noth i ng more than
the H osp ital's com p uters an d
tech nology to k eep
her al i ve.
" H o w is she doi ng today...?"
T he sou n d of T rent's
voice brought me out of m y
thoughts as I turned
to w atch h i m w al k i nto the
room an d ta k e the
seat on the other si de of
Stasee.
I shrugged as I rested m y head
bac k do w n on the
bed. M y han d sna k ed its w ay
to w ards Stasee's
motion less bod y as I covered
her col d han d w ith
the w armth of m i ne. I glanced
u p at T rent; he
loo k ed horri b le an d yet very
si m i lar to me. H e had
b ig dar k circles u n derl i n i ng
h is eyes, h is hair
loo k ed as i f it had n't been
touched i n days, he
w ore the same w ri n k led
clothes from the day
before an d even h is bod y
language sho w ed signs
of com p lete exhaustion.
"So... U h," m y barel y used
voice came out
scratch y, " d i d you go to L iam's
trial?"
T rent nod ded slo w l y as h is
eyes stayed loc k ed on
Stasee. H e cleared h is throat,
" yah... T he la w yer
w as a b it p issed you d i d n't
sho w u p."
I rol led m y eyes, " L iam
ad m itted to it... T hey d i d n't
need m y statement an y w ays."
" W el l, ap parentl y they d i d."
T rent's voice gre w
angrier as he f i nal l y loo k ed u p
at me. " I guess
L iam f i nal l y started th i n k i ng
properl y because no w
he's p lead i ng i n nocent."
" W hat?!" I felt m y heart sk i p a
beat.
" N ot that it real l y got h i m
an y w here... H e had
alread y ad m itted to it, so he
w as charged as an
ad u lt w ith assau lt w ith a
dead l y w eapon,
attem pted m urder an d
u n la w f u l d ischarge of a
f irearm. H e's been sentenced
to ten years i n
prison an d depen d i ng on ho w
Stasee does; years
may be ad ded on." T rent
f i nal l y f i n ished an d as I
loo k ed u p at h i m; I cou l d sti l l
see the shame an d
gu i lt the mask ed h is face.
A s m uch as L iam deserved to
be p u n ished for he
had prev iousl y done to Stasee,
the fact that it had
actual l y
been T rent w ho acci dentl y
p u l led the
trigger had been hau nti ng h i m
si nce the moment
it hap pened. E very ti me he
loo k ed do w n at h is
l ittle sister; tears of regret
w ou l d f i l l h is eyes.
M an y n ights I had w atched
T rent w a k i ng u p
scream i ng such th i ngs l i k e
'I'm sorry' or 'I d i d n't
mean to'.
C ou ntless ti mes, D erre k an d I
had tried to
con v i nce T rent it w as not h is
fau lt, that it w as an
acci dent an d Stasee w ou l d
never w ant T rent to be
p utti ng h i msel f through al l
th is. W e cou l d tel l h i m
a thousan d ti mes b ut it w ou l d
never do an yth i ng;
he needed Stasee to w a k e u p
an d to forgi ve h i m
hersel f, other w ise he'd never
be ab le to let it go.
" C of fee an yone?" K aris' soft
voice reached m y
ears as I left m y head u p of f
the bed. I turned
to w ards the door w ay as
Bran don, K aris an d
D erre k w al k ed i nto the room.
I tried to force a pol ite sm i le
onto m y face b ut I
cou l d j ust tel l b y K aris'
sy m pathetic loo k that I
had def i n itel y fai led. She
passed me over one of
the t w o cof fees i n her han ds
before grab b i ng a
chair an d p u l l i ng it u p to the
en d of Stasee's bed.
Bran don fol lo w ed her as he
too grab bed one of
the chairs from agai nst the
w al l an d p laced it
besi de K aris.
D erre k w al k ed arou n d the bed
an d sat do w n on
the arm rest of T rent's chair. I
w atched h i m as he
w rap ped h is arm arou n d
T rent's nec k an d ti lted h is
head
agai nst h i m. I then turned to
loo k at K aris
an d Bran don as m y eyes fel l
do w n to their
i nterloc k ed han ds. I cou l d n't
hel p be feel i ng
en v ious of the t w o cou p les,
they both managed to
f i n d com fort i n each other
d uri ng such tragic ti mes
w h i le I
sat at the bedsi de of the on l y
person w ho
cou l d have gi ven me that
com fort.
W e al l sat there i n si lence as
w e conti n ued to
w atch Stasee's sti l l bod y as her
chest gre w an d
san k w ith each deep breath.
W henever I w as
alone w ith Stasee, I w ou l d
usual l y read or si ng to
her an d even someti mes tal k
to her b ut w hen al l
of us w ere w ith her; w e w ou l d
sort of j ust sit
there an d w atch her. Smal l
con versations
someti mes w ou l d f i l l the
si lence b ut w ith both
T rent an d I never real l y
joi n i ng i n on them; they
w ou l d q u ic k l y d ie do w n.
I too k a smal l si p of C of fee;
though it d i d n't seem
to be hel p i ng very m uch
because m y eye l i ds sti l l
felt overl y heav y. I struggled
to stay a w a k e b ut as
soon as I rested m y head
agai nst the si de of the
hosp ital bed; sleep had
consu med me.
~
"Stasee, p lease, p lease w a k e
u p. I love you an d I
can't lose you...I'm so sorry,
th is is al l m y fau lt
an d I j ust...don't k no w w hat to
do. I f you don't
w a k e u p...I-I j ust don't k no w
ho w I w i l l manage to
go on. Please, Stasee, Please.
You are m y bab y
sister; m y everyth i ng...an d I'm
so sorry."
T rent's w h isperi ng cries
forced me to open m y
eyes. I d i d n't l i ft m y head u p
or real l y sho w an y
sign of bei ng a w a k e as I
glanced arou n d the em pty
room.
M y eyes f i nal l y fel l on T rent;
he w as sti l l
sitti ng across from me b ut
D erre k an d everyone
else w as gone. It w as on l y me,
Stasee an d T rent i n
the room no w .
T rent w as loo k i ng do w n at h is
sister as tears
rol led do w n h is chee ks, h is
bottom l i p w as sl ightl y
q u i veri ng as he reached u p
an d brushed Stasee's
hair gentl y. "S-Stasee... C an
you hear me? Please,
you need to be strong...You
need to p u l l through, I
need you, w e al l need you." H e
coughed out
through h is si lent sobs.
"Please, you have to w a k e
u p."
I heard soft foot steps beh i n d
me.
" T rent...?" D erre k's q u iet voice
forced T rent to
q u ic k l y w i pe the tears of f h is
face. " I'm goi ng
do w n to the H osp ital
cafeteria."
" O -o k ay." T rent m u m b led
bac k .
" C ome w ith me, p lease."
" I'm not h u ngry..."
Si lence f i l led the room for a
secon d before the
sou n d of D erre k's footsteps
gre w closer. I w as
starti ng to w ish I w as sti l l
sleep i ng because it felt
l i k e I w as i n vad i ng their
pri vacy. D erre k reached
for T rents han d an d I f i nal l y
deci ded to close m y
eyes.
" Your never h u ngry,
T rent...B ut you sti l l have to
eat." D erre k spo k e softl y.
" B ut, Stasee..."
" D amen's here."
" Yah, b ut..."
"Please, come eat w ith me."
T rent
hesitated for a long moment
before
rep l y i ng. " F i ne."
I
w aited u nti l they both left the
room before I
opened m y eyes an d sat u p
straight. I loo k ed bac k
do w n at the beauti f u l girl
sleep i ng on the hosp ital
bed. I bent for w ard as I l ightl y
brushed m y l i ps
agai nst her forehead.
" You have to w a k e
u p..." I repeated T rent's w ords
as a si ngle tear fel l do w n m y
face.
I got
u p of f the chair an d moved
onto the si de of
the bed. I reached to w ards
Stasee brush i ng m y
f i ngers gentl y along the
outl i ne of her face as I
began to q u ietl y si ng " T h i ngs
Left U nsai d " B y,
D isci p le. A song I had fou n d
m ysel f si ngi ng to
Stasee over an d over i n the
past three w ee ks.
" O h ho w w e tal k ed, for hours
u pon en d
W hat I w ou l d gi ve j ust to do it
agai n
Your l y i ng there i n th is
hosp ital bed
W ont you open your eyes
A n d lets tal k once agai n.
I f you f l y a w ay ton ight,
I w an na tel l you that I love
you.
I hope that you can hear me,
I hope that you can feel me.
I f you f l y a w ay ton ight,
I w an na tel l you that I m sorry,
T hat I never tol d you
W hen w e w ere face to face."
I
cou l d feel the ri vers of tears
f lo w i ng do w n m y
face b ut I d i d n't stop si ngi ng
even as m y voice
gre w sha k ier. I reached for her
han d as I hel d
onto tightl y; " you have to
w a k e u p, Stasee..." I
w h ispered q u ietl y once I
f i n ished the song.

C hapter 26

A nother W ee k Later...
D amen's P. O . V C onti n ues...
I stared out of the H osp ital
w i n do w; loo k i ng to the
w est as the su n began to
d isap pear beh i n d the
large mou ntai n on the other
si de of M cLen nan.
T hat same mou ntai n w as the
p lace I had brought
Stasee an d some w here along
that mou ntai n w as
the cl i f f that I seemed to f i n d
so m uch com fort i n.
Usual l y w hen I had a lot on
m y m i n d, or w hen I
j ust needed to get a w ay from
real ity for a w h i le I
w ou l d go there. B ut
ap parentl y even that cl i f f
cou l d n't gi ve me the com fort I
needed.
E very morn i ng I w ou l d w atch
the su n rise above
the ocean on the east si de.
Each ti me the su n
w ou l d rise; so w ou l d m y
hopes. A ne w day had
begu n an d w ith th is ne w day
m y faith i n Stasee's
a w a k en i ng w ou l d resurface.
B ut as every day
came to an en d an d as I
w atched the su n set i n
the w est beh i n d those large
mou ntai ns; it felt l i k e
a part of m y sou l w ou l d
d isap pear w ith it. Each
day it seemed to get w orse an d
w orse. I w ou l d
spen d al most every day
com p letel y emotion less; I
cou l d n't remem ber the last
ti me I laughed... W el l,
actual l y I cou l d. It w as four
w ee ks ago; right after
Stasee had p u nched C an d ise
i n the face an d w e
w ere speed i ng of f i n m y
T ruc k .
T he on l y th i ng that k ept
rem i n d i ng me that I w as
sti l l h u man an d that I w asn't a
com p lete
emotion less psycho path w as
w hen I cried. I w ou l d
sit
at Stasee's bedsi de; stari ng at
her motion less
bod y, pray i ng an d beggi ng for
her to w a k e u p. B ut
asi de from the fe w tears I shed
regu larl y; m y
facial expression stayed
neutral. M y strength to
even attem pt to fa k e a sm i le
had van ished; the
on l y ti me I spo k e w as to
Stasee an d I felt l i k e
there w as a large voi d i nsi de
me. B ut I k ne w I
w ou l d never leave her an d I
w ou l d stay at her si de
forever i f I had too.
I turned bac k arou n d to loo k
over at the hosp ital
bed i n w h ich Stasee lai d
peacef u l l y asleep. I
sighed before slo w l y w al k i ng
over to the large
bou q uet of w h ite l i l ies that sat
on the bedsi de
tab le next to a cute l ittle
bro w n ted d y bear. M y
f i ngers trai led along the stem
of the f lo w er as I
i n haled the fragrant sent I w as
begi n n i ng to gro w
so use to. E very w ee k I w ou l d
go to the H osp ital
gi ft shop an d rep lace the l i l ies
w ith ne w ones.
I let m y f i ngers fal l a w ay from
the f lo w ers as I
moved to w ards the bed;
ta k i ng m y p lace on the
seat next to Stasee. I reached
m y han d to w ards
her before i ntert w i n i ng m y
f i ngers through her
smal l ones. I rest m y head on
her bed as I loo k ed
u p to her closed eyes.
" H o w's she doi ng today...?" I
loo k ed u p to the
sou n d of m y brother's voice.
Bran don an d K aris w ere
stan d i ng i n the door w ay,
han d i n han d, loo k i ng do w n at
Stasee an d I w ith
sy m pathetic facial expressions.
I sl ightl y b it do w n
on m y l i p before sha k i ng m y
head slo w l y.
K aris let go of Bran don as she
w al k ed over to the
si de of the hosp ital bed.
" H ey Stase." K aris sai d; try i ng
to sou n d u p beat.
" M e an d Bran don are
here... W e can't stay long
because w el l, h i m an d I are
perform i ng i n Romeo
an d Ju l iet at the school today.
Yah w e both
managed to get the t w o mai n
roles i n the p lay."
I sa w the sh i m meri ng w etness
that glazed over
her eyes as she spo k e. T al k i ng
to Stasee w as
al w ays the hardest part; for al l
of us.
Bran don slo w l y made h is w ay
to w ards K aris. H e
gentl y p laced h is arm arou n d
her nec k as he
loo k ed do w n at Stasee,
struggl i ng to sm i le.
" W e'l l, u h, may be you
k no w ... W e'l l v i deo tape it
for you. T hat w ay, you don't
m iss out." Bran don
sai d w h i le stutteri ng over h is
w ords. " W e j ust
w anted to stop b y an d see ho w
you w ere doi ng
before w e go."
" Yah, b ut w e'd better go."
K aris sai d softl y w h i le
ben d i ng do w n an d k issi ng
Stasee's forehead, " w e
love you, Stasee."
I loo k ed bac k over at Stasee as
K aris an d Bran don
turned arou n d an d began to
w al k out of the room.
" D amen..." Bran don's soft
voice reached m y ears.
" H u h?"
" A re you sure you don't w ant
to come?"
I nod ded m y head.
" I'm sure T rent w ou l d come i n
for a fe w hours an d
stay w ith her." Bran don
conti n ued b ut I merel y
j ust shoo k m y head. " D amen,
p lease...Just tal k to
me. You've barel y sai d t w o
w ords to an yone i n the
past w ee k!"
I loo k ed u p at m y l ittle brother
before letti ng out a
heav y breath. I turned a w ay
an d loo k ed bac k
do w n at Stasee.
" D amen! Seriousl y, j ust come
w atch m i ne an d
K aris' performance."
Bran don's voice gre w more
urgent.
" N o!" I f i nal l y spat out.
" N o... T on ight is m y n ight
w ith Stasee, I'l l come
tomorro w w hen T rent's
here."
Bran don stared at me for
another moment before
turn i ng arou n d an d leav i ng. I
closed m y eye for a
secon d; try i ng to get m ysel f
u n der control.
Bran don d i d n't deserve that,
he w as j ust w orried
about me b ut I'm on l y alou d to
stay w ith Stasee
every secon d n ight an d there
w as no w ay I w as
goi ng to gi ve u p even an hour
of that ti me.
I loo k ed bac k do w n at Stasee.
M y han d w as sti l l
hol d i ng her as m y other han d
reached u p an d
tuc k ed her hair beh i n d her ear.
"Stasee..." I w h ispered q u ietl y.
" I.. U h, I... W el l."
I let out a heav y breath as m y
f i ngers sl ightl y
tightened arou n d her han d
before loosen i ng.
" I don't k no w w hat I'm try i ng
to say." I f i nal l y
ad m itted as m y eyes trai led
from her face to our
han ds. I reached to w ards her
an d gentl y pressed
m y l i ps agai nst the bac k of her
han d. " It's
j ust... C an you hear me? Stasee,
p lease...Just
sho w me some k i n d of sign.
Please?"
I cou l d alread y feel the smal l
tears gro w i ng i n m y
eyes, the tears that seemed to
ap pear each ti me I
attem pted to spea k to her. I
turned m y head as
m y eyes glanced bac k u p at
her angel ic face.
"Please, Stasee...I need to
k no w , j ust do
someth i ng...I f you can hear
me; p lease try!
Stasee,try...Some k i n d of sign,
an yth i ng!" I begged
q u ietl y
as a si ngle tear fel l do w n m y
chee k . I
stared at her; w aiti ng, w ish i ng,
hop i ng for some
k i n d of sign. For someth i ng,
an yth i ng j ust to prove
to
me that she cou l d actual l y
hear me. B ut
noth i ng hap pened; her bod y
stayed as motion less
as ever w ith the on l y
movement com i ng from her
chest.
M y eyes then fel l do w n w ards
as I felt the sti ngi ng
pai n of d isap poi ntment once
agai n. I j ust w anted
to b urst i nto tears an d never
stop cry i ng; to hol d
her bod y close to m i ne an d
never let her go. B ut I
k ne w better; I k ne w I had to
hol d m ysel f
together, i f not for me then at
least for Stasee.
I then rested m y head bac k
do w n on the bed as
m y eyes fou n d their w ay bac k
to w ards m i ne an d
Stasee's i nterloc k ed han ds.
"Stasee..." I barel y
w h ispered her name as I
conti n ued to rest m y
head on the bed; m y tears
sl ightl y begi n n i ng to
b l ur m y v ision.
M y eyes slo w l y began to close
as m y eye l i ds
forced m y remai n i ng tears to
rol l do w n m y face. I
j ust w anted to hear her voice
agai n, to loo k i nto
her l ight bro w n eyes, to see
her adorab le l ittle
sm i le...I j ust w anted her to
w a k e u p.
Su d den l y I felt Stasee's han d
sl ightl y tighten
arou n d m i ne as m y eyes f l u ng
open an d I jer k ed
i nto an u pright position. " D r.
M oore, Someone,
come here!?" I yel led as w ater
f i l led m y eyes once
agai n. I q u ic k l y glanced
to w ards her face; the
feel i ng of her f i ngers sti l l
sl ightl y mov i ng agai nst
m i ne shot ti ngles through m y
entire bod y.
H er closed eye l i ds sl ightl y
f l uttered as I sat there
i n antici pation.
"Stasee, come on!" I sai d w ith a
sha k y voice, " You
can do it, j ust open your eyes.
Please, Stasee...I
k no w you can p u l l through!"
I w atched her as her eye l i ds
slo w l y began to rise
u p w ards. H er san d y colored
eyes soon fou n d their
w ay to me as tears streamed
do w n m y face. I felt
com p letel y paral y zed, al l I
cou l d do w e sit there
an d stare at her as tears of joy
conti n ued to f lo w
do w n m y face.
" D - D amen...?" Stasee's voice
came out so w ea k
an d yet it w as as harmon ic as
ever.

C hapter 27

I w as com p letel y surprised I

had even managed to
m uster out D amen's name. M y
w hole bod y felt
utterl y w ea k; al most as i f I
w ere paral y zed. I k ne w
I
w asn't though, I cou l d sti l l
feel the b lan k et that
w as w rap ped tightl y arou n d
me b ut even so, it
w as al most i m possi b le to
move. N ot on l y that; b ut
it also felt l i k e I cou l d n't tal k .
M y throat w as
u n bel ievab l y dry an d b urnt
w henever I attem pted
to spea k .
M y arms, nec k an d legs al l felt
cram ped; al most as
i f I had been sleep i ng i n the
same position for
days. B ut it honestl y felt l i k e I
had on l y been
sleep i ng for hours an d the
urge to go bac k to
sleep w as gro w i ng stronger b y
the secon d.
I loo k ed u p i nto D amen's deep
bro w n eyes as a
fe w tears rol led do w n h is
chee ks. T he corners of
h is l i ps w ere stretched
u p w ards i nto a large sm i le
as he attem pted to w i pe a w ay
h is tears. I cou l d n't
u n derstan d w h y he w as cry i ng
or w h y he w as
hol d i ng onto m y han d so
tightl y.
" O h, Stasee..." H e w h ispered
out as he pressed
h is l i ps agai nst m y forehead.
" I-I never thought I
w as goi ng to see those
beauti f u l eyes agai n."
It w as so w eird seei ng h i m cry;
i n al l m y years I'd
never i magi ned I'd see D amen
H urtz cry. B ut there
he w as, sitti ng right next
to me as tears streamed
do w n h is face. H e conti n ued
to m u m b le th i ngs
that w ere com p letel y
i ncoherent to me. I th i n k he
m ight have been say i ng
someth i ng along the l i nes
of: oh than k god, your a w a k e,
I k ne w you'd p u l l
through an d j ust a b u nch of
other w eird th i ngs
l i k e that.
M y eye l i ds conti n ued to gro w
heav ier as I let
them sl ightl y fal l do w n. " I-I..."
I tried spea k i ng to
D amen; it h urt so bad l y b ut I
felt I needed to tel l
h i m. " T-th i n k ...I'm g-goi ng...to
go...bac k ...to
sleep."
I nstantl y the sm i le on
D amen's face van ished as it
w as rep laced b y concern.
" N o, no, Stasee. D on't go bac k
to bed, stay
a w a k e." T he tears i n h is eyes
stop ped fal l i ng as
he hel d tightl y onto m y han d;
sl ightl y he began to
sha k e it. "Stay a w a k e, Stasee.
Please!"
I glanced at h i m a l ittle
con f used; w h y d i d it
matter? W h y d i d he care i f I
w ent to sleep?
" B-B ut...I'm tired..." I barel y
w h ispered.
" N o, Stasee! You have to stay
a w a k e!" H e w as
no w begi n n i ng to yel l.
" D octor! N urse! Someone,
p lease!"
D octor? I thought to m ysel f,
w hat on earth w as
he tal k i ng about? F i nal l y I
began to glance arou n d
the room I w as i n; it w as at
that moment w hen I
real i zed I w as hoo k ed u p to
some k i n d of H osp ital
mach i ne. W ith a l ittle more
anal y z i ng, I noticed I
w as i n a H osp ital room an d
l y i ng on a H osp ital bed.
" W-W hat's goi ng on?" I loo k ed
u p at D amen
fearf u l l y. M y p u lse began to
q u ic k en as fear an d
con f usion m ixed together
i nsi de me.
"Stasee! T han k god, you're
a w a k e." I turned to
see a lad y w ith a l ight b l ue
u n i form on, " I'l l go
fetch D r. M oore." T he n urse
sai d w ith excitement
before rush i ng out of the
room.
"Stasee... W hat's the last th i ng
you can
remem ber?" D amen ask ed
softl y.
I loo k ed u p at h i m before I
began to th i n k about it.
It
w as w eird; m y memory sort of
seemed f u z z y.
T he past w ee k w as a b it of a
b l ur b ut at the same
ti me it w asn't. I remem bered
D amen f i nal l y
ad m itti ng h is feel i ng to w ards
me i n front of our
entire school. T he memory of
our very passionate
k iss i n front of everyone
forced m y chee ks to
red den. I thought harder as the
i mage of me
p u nch i ng C an d ise i n the face
sl ightl y made m y l i ps
form i nto a sm i le. I k ne w that
w asn't w hat D amen
w as tal k i ng about; I needed to
loo k f urther i nto
m y m i n d.
" D - D erre k ... H e cal led me." I
f i nal l y m u m b led
though the memory w as a b it
u nclear; I cou l d n't
remem ber w h y he cal led me.
" D o... D o you remem ber
an yth i ng else?" D amen
q uestioned.
T hat's w hen the memory came
bac k l i k e a bom b
exp lod i ng i n m y head. T rent
had made it to L iam's
before he left to C al i forn ia.
W hen D amen an d I
f i nal l y sho w ed u p at L iam's
house, T rent had a
gu n p u l led out on h i m an d I...I
w as shot.
I tried to move m y arm, I
w anted to see m y
stomach b ut it w as too hard to
move. M y bod y
w as so w ea k b ut I managed to
move m y han d to
m y ab dom i nal. It felt ten der
an d w as sti l l sl ightl y
i n pai n.
" I...I w ant to see it." I
w h ispered out.
"See w hat?"
" M y... M y stomach."
D amen nod ded as he p u l led
the b lan k et of f m y
bod y, he sl ightl y l i fted u p the
hosp ital go w n. I
glanced do w n w ard on l y to see
a deep red scar; a
fe w l ittle red dots surrou n ded
the b u l let w ou n d.
M y brother once had stitches,
so w hen I sa w the
red dots I k ne w right a w ay
they w ere from
stitches.
" H o w ..." M y voice trai led of f
as I stared do w n at
the heal i ng w ou n d w ith
con f usion. " H o w is it
alread y healed, d i d n't I j ust
get shot yesterday?"
D amen slo w l y shoo k h is head
right before a tal l
dar k haired man w eari ng a
D octor's u n i form came
i nto the room. " O h, she w as
right...You are
a w a k e." H e stared at me i n
shoc k , " Usual l y
patients don't w a k e u p so
abru ptl y... Usual l y they
sho w some k i n d of signs f irst;
I-I'm shoc k ed."
" W-W hat on earth is goi ng
on?" I f i nal l y
deman ded.
T he doctor w al k ed over to the
mach i nery I w as
hoo k ed u p to b ut d i d n't rep l y.
W hen he f i nal l y
turned to w ards me; i nstead of
answ eri ng m y
q uestion he began
bom bard i ng me w ith h is o w n;
H o w ol d are you? W hat is your
name? W hat is
today's date? W hat is your
ad dress? W hat are
your parents' names? W hat is
the last th i ng you
remem ber? T he l ist w ent on
an d on, an d as he
w as ask i ng al l these q uestions,
D amen q u ic k l y
snea k ed out of the room. I
cou l d see h i m through
the crac k i n the door as he
paced bac k an d forth
w h i le tal k i ng on h is cel l
p hone.
I loo k ed bac k u p at the D octor
an d I tried to
answ er the q uestions as best
as I cou l d. I noticed
the more I tal k ed the more m y
voice gre w
stronger. I had answ ered every
q uestion right
asi de from the 'W hat is today's
date?'
A p parentl y I had been i n a
C oma for four entire
w ee ks. W hen he tol d me that I
sort of j ust lai d
there stari ng u p at h i m. It felt
l i k e I had barel y
been sleep i ng for a fe w hours,
although it d i d
exp lai n w h y the stitches i n m y
stomach had
alread y been removed an d
also w h y m y w hole
bod y w as so w ea k an d
cram ped u p. B ut even so, it
w as sti l l a l ittle b it of a
shoc k er.
I loo k ed u p as D amen w al k ed
bac k i nto the room,
" I j ust cal led your brother; he's
on h is w ay over."
" T rent?" I gasped w ith
excitement.
T he doctor loo k ed u p at
D amen, " O k ay, w el l she
seems to be f i ne; she is
sho w i ng no signs of
memory loss w h ich is a good
th i ng an d she also
seems to have com p lete
control of her l i m bs. B ut
w e w i l l need to k eep her here
for one more w ee k
j ust to do a fe w more tests an d
to k eep an eye on
her recovery."
I rol led m y eyes at the w ay the
D octor w as tal k i ng
to D amen l i k e I
w as a l ittle k i d or someth i ng.
L i k e,
Real l y? H e cou l d n't j ust turn
arou n d an d tel l me al l
that i nstead of acti ng as i f I
w as i ncapab le of
u n derstan d i ng. D amen loo k ed
over at me an d
sm ir k ed; he m ust have noticed
the w ay it had
bothered me because h is
sm ir k w as more l i k e a
teasi ngl y ' H a-ha' sm ir k . I
glared at h i m as he
nod ded at the D octor.
Slo w l y he made h is w ay bac k
to w ards me as D r.
D i n k Face left the room.
D amen sat do w n on the
seat next to me as he reached
for m y han d.
" N ot a b ig fan of the D oc.?" H e
ask ed w h i le sti l l
sm ir k i ng.
" I'm pretty sure he l i k es men."
I sai d stu b born l y.
" H ey, w hat's w rong w ith
l i k i ng men?" A voice I
recogn i zed too w el l, forced me
to turn m y
attention to w ards the
door w ay.
" T rent!" I yel led out. I w anted
to j u m p of f the
bed, ru n over an d gi ve h i m a
h uge h ug. T he on l y
prob lem w as I w as hav i ng
enough trou b les mov i ng
m y arms never m i n d stan d i ng
on m y legs.
M y brother ran over to me an d
grab bed m y l i m p
bod y as he p u l led m y i nto a
tight h ug. " O h
Stasee!" H e m u f f led i nto m y
hair, " I'm so sorry,
you have no i dea ho w sorry I
am. I never meant
to."
M i ne an d T rent's con versation
conti n ued l i k e that
for w hat seemed l i k e an
etern ity. H e apologi zed
more ti mes than I cou l d even
cou nt an d every
ti me I w ou l d tel l h i m that it
w as o k ay. I k ne w it
w as a m ista k e; he d i d n't mean
to. I remem bered
loo k i ng at h i m that day; he
w as getti ng read y to
surren der, he w as j ust about to
let L iam go w hen
L iam deci ded to shove T rent
a w ay from h i m. A s
T rent tu m b led bac k w ards, h is
f i nger had sl i p ped
agai nst the trigger.
It w as a m ista k e, some
horri b le acci dent. B ut
there def i n itel y w as some
good that came out of
al l of it. L iam w as sent to jai l;
loc k ed u p i n prison
w here he belongs. A lot of
peop le may say that
w hat hap pened to L iam w as
u n fair b ut I'm sorry;
after w hat he d i d to me, he
deserves to be loc k ed
a w ay.
It w as about 10:30p m w hen
T rent f i nal l y deci ded
he w as goi ng to head home.
H e sti l l had n't
accepted m y forgi veness an d
sai d that someho w
he w as goi ng to ma k e it u p to
me. I merel y rol led
m y eyes.
" W hatever T rent. H onestl y,
loo k at me - I'm f i ne."
I sai d w h i le sm i l i ng, " N o w go
home an d get some
proper sleep...You loo k l i k e
sh it."
H e laughed, " O h gee, than ks
sis." H e gentl y
k issed m y forehead before
turn i ng arou n d an d
head i ng to w ards the door.
" G ood n ight you t w o."
H e then left both D amen an d I
sitti ng i n the room
alone.
I turned to loo k over at
D amen, " You shou l d
probab l y go home an d get
some sleep as w el l."
" N o w ay." H e stated w ith a
gri n, " T on ight is m y
n ight here w ith you...So I'm
stay i ng."
" Your n ight w ith me?" I
q uestioned h i m, " W hat
does that mean?"
" W el l, w h i le you w ere bei ng
l ittle m iss 'sleep i ng
beauty', the doctors al lo w ed
both T rent an d I to
ta k e turns stay i ng the n ight
w ith you."
"Seriousl y? T hen, w here d i d
you gu ys sleep?"
" O n these chairs." H e rep l ied.
" O h... N o w on der you t w o loo k
l i k e hel l!" I
exclai med.
D amen laughed as he began to
trace h is f i ngers
along m y han d. I sl ightl y b it
do w n on m y l i p as a
smal l sh i ver ran do w n m y
sp i ne. W ords cou l d n't
express the w ay it felt every
ti me he touched me;
I honestl y never w anted it to
en d.
O nce I w as f i nal l y ab le to p u l l
m y m i n d a w ay from
the ti ngl y feel i ng I w as
getti ng, I f i nal l y sai d,
" W el l, i f you aren't goi ng to go
home an d sleep,
then I'm not goi ng to let you
sleep on that chair."
" O h yah? A n d w here do you
su p pose I sleep
then?" H e raised h is eyebro w .
" I n bed w ith me." I sai d as m y
chee ks f l ushed
pin k.
" You're so cute w hen you
b l ush."
" O h, sh ut u p an d get your ass
i nto bed." I sai d
w h i le try i ng to move over a
l ittle b it; it w as sti l l
hard to move b ut I seemed to
be getti ng a l ittle
better at it.
D amen slo w l y cra w led i nto
bed next to me; it w as
a l ittle sq u ish y because the
H osp ital beds w ere
on l y si ngles b ut it w as n ice
hav i ng h i m so close
agai nst me.
" I don't w ant to go to sleep."
D amen ya w ned as
he sna k ed h is arm arou n d m y
w aist an d p u l led me
closer agai nst h i m. M y w hole
bod y seemed to
i nstantl y w arm u p as I l i fted
m ysel f u p sl ightl y an d
loo k ed over at h i m.
" D amen, your eyes are so
b lac k you loo k l i k e
you've been p u nched i n the
face. You need to go
to sleep." I w h ispered q u ietl y.
H e sighed, " B ut you j ust w o k e
u p."
" L i k e four hours ago."
H e ya w ned agai n, " Let's p u l l
an al l n ighter."
I sm i led, " Let's go to bed."
" C an I ask you a q uestion
f irst?" H e ask ed softl y.
" A n yth i ng."
" W hen... W hen you w ere i n
the...u h, C oma... D i d
you hear an yth i ng?"
A t f irst I w as goi ng to say no,
b ut then the
memories of al l m y w eird l ittle
dreams came bac k
to me. I k i n d of giggled at the
thought of some of
them, b ut others w ere a l ittle
more... D epressi ng.
" I don't k no w ...I had some
w eird dreams." I f i nal l y
ad m itted.
" L i k e w hat?" H e q uestioned as
h is han d reached
u p to w ards m y face. H e ran
h is f i ngers gentl y
through m y hair as I sl ightl y
sh uttered from the
touch.
" W el l, there w as th is one
dream I had a fe w
ti mes." I sai d w h i le giggl i ng
agai n. " B ut don't
laugh."
"So, w hat? You're al lo w ed to
laugh at it b ut I'm
not?" H e sm ir k ed.
" O h, sh ush. O k ay w el l
an y w ays, it w as about
you." I gri n ned sheep ish l y,
" You w ere a b ig roc k
star si ngi ng your very o w n
version of 'T h i ngs Left
U nsai d' B y D isci p le... A n d the
w eird th i ng w as, you
w ere actual l y l i k e, real l y
good." I giggled as I
loo k ed bac k do w n at h i m.
T he secon d I had f i n ished
tal k i ng D amen's chee ks
gre w red as he sh y l y loo k ed
a w ay from me. A t
f irst I w as a l ittle con f used as
to w h y he w as
acti ng al l em barrassed, b ut
then su d den l y it h it
me.
" W ait." I reached for h is chee k
an d p u l led h is face
bac k to w ards me, " W ere
you... A ctual l y si ngi ng to
me?"
H e b it do w n on h is l i p
bash f u l l y as he sl ightl y
began to nod h is head. M y
eyes then w i dened as I
stared at h i m i n shoc k . I
honestl y had n't k no w n
he w as such a good si nger; I
mean i f he actual l y
w as as good as he w as i n m y
dream then... W o w .
" You never tol d me you cou l d
si ng?"
H e rep l ied w ith a smart-alec k
remar k , " You never
ask ed." I gave h i m the 'your-a-
d ic k-face' k i n d of
loo k as he l ightl y coughed out
a laugh. " H onestl y
Stasee...I've never real l y sang
i n front of an yone
before."
" O h, so it's another one of
your l ittle secrets...L i k e
your com ic boo k obsession?"
" D o I hear a h i nt of jealousy i n
your tone?" H e
teased.
"Jealous? O f you?" I scof fed,
" T he on l y th i ng I
m ight be a l ittle jealous of is
your remar k ab le
ab i l ity to have so m uch faith
i n the i nadeq uate."
D amen laughed, " A n d w ho is
th is i nadeq uate
person you spea k of?"
"Su perman." I stated w ithout
hesitation.
"Su perman?!" D amen laughed
lou der.
" Yes, Su perman..." I stated,
" I'm sorry D amen, b ut
Batman cou l d ta k e Su perman
an y day."
" N o w ay!" D amen exclai med,
"Su perman has laser
eyes, he f l y's, mega strength,
he-"
I cut h i m of f k no w i ng the l ist
w ou l d ta k e too long,
" Yah w el l, w hat about i n 'T he
D ar k K n ight
Returns'...Batman is l i k e f i fty
years ol d an d he sti l l
beats Su perman!"
" N o!" D amen yel led out, " T hat
w as al l j ust
staged!"
" Yah, may be Batman's 'heart
attac k' w as b ut not
Batman k ic k i ng Su perman's
ass!" I fought bac k .
Su d den l y the door lead i ng to
the hal l w ays opened
as a smal l l ittle n urse pea k ed
through. " Excuse
me, can you gu ys p lease k eep
it do w n... O thers are
try i ng to sleep."
"Sorry..." W e both sai d i n
u n ison as the n urse
nod ded before sh utti ng the
door beh i n d her.
W e both began to laugh
q u ietl y. A s soon as our
w h isperi ng laughs d ied do w n;
a lou d ya w n escape
m y mouth. " O k ay...It's ti me for
bed no w ."
" F i ne." D amen jo k i ngl y
pouted.
I w as j ust about to l ye bac k
do w n on the bed
w hen D amen's han d w rap ped
arou n d m y head. H e
p u l led m y bod y for w ard as
our l i ps crashed
together. M y stomach
i nstantl y began to f l utter as
m y heart th u m ped lou d l y
i nsi de m y chest. H e
began to massage m y l i ps w ith
h is o w n i n one of
the most passionate, heart
throb b i ng k issi ng I'd
ever experienced. H is arms
moved do w n to m y
w aist as he hel d me tightl y
agai nst h is bod y,
al most as i f he w ere afrai d to
let me go.
I f i nal l y p u l led a w ay as I
began to gasp for air. I
loo k ed do w n at h i m as m y
entire bod y felt l i k e I
w as f loati ng on clou d n i ne.
" W-W hat w as that for?" I
gasped out.
H is breath i ng w as j ust as
heav y as m i ne as he
p ushed h is bod y u p to w ards
me an d pressed
another sw eet k iss agai nst m y
l i ps.
"Just a good n ight k iss." H e
w h ispered as he fel l
bac k do w n on the bed.
I sm i led do w n at h i m as
b utterf l ies f l uttered
arou n d i n m y stomach.
" W el l... G ood n ight to you
too." I w h ispered before I
nested m y head agai nst
h is shou l der, m y arm w rap ped
arou n d h is chest.
H e sna k ed h is arm arou n d m y
w aist as he p u l led
me closer agai nst h is w arm
bod y. "S w eet dreams,
Stasee."

C hapter 28 : E p i logue

I w as sitti ng i n the passenger's

seat of D amen's
G M C truc k as w e p u l led u p to
the front doors of
m y house. It had never felt so
good to f i nal l y be
home. A fter bei ng at the
H osp ital for six w ee ks
(t w o of w h ich I w as a w a k e)
home felt more l i k e
heaven w here as the hosp ital
w as m y hel l. T w o
w ee ks of constant
p h ysiotherap y an d even
mental
therap y had com p letel y w orn
me out. L uc k i l y, m y
recovery had been a lot
q u ic k er than most peop les
an d bei ng released after on l y
t w o w ee ks after
w a k i ng u p from a month long
coma w as m iracle i n
itsel f.
I loo k ed u p i nto the w i n do ws
of m y house as I
noticed that al l the l ights w ere
out w h ich
i n d icated m y parents w eren't
home. I had tal k ed
to them about three ti mes
si nce I had w o k en u p.
T hey sai d they loved me an d
that they w ished
they w ere there for me, they
sai d to get better
an d hopef u l l y they w ou l d be
ab le to ma k e it home
someti me soon. T h is w ou l d
probab l y u pset most
teenagers; f i n d i ng out that you
had been i n a
coma for a month an d your
parents w ere on l y
there for one w ee k . O r that
once you f i nal l y d i d
w a k e u p, they w ere too b usy
'w or k i ng' to even
come an d see you. B ut it
honestl y d i d n't b ug me, I
d i d n't need them. A t th is poi nt
i n m y l i fe, I
actual l y peop le w ho cared
about me an d w ere
there for me an d they w ere al l
I needed.
" H ome sw eet home." D amen's
h usk y voice
reached m y ears as I turned
m y head to w ards
h i m. A smal l encouragi ng
sm i le sat croo k ed l y on
h is face.
" T han k god," I sm i led bac k . " I
sw ear, i f I had to
have one more b ite of that
d isgusti ng H osp ital
Jel l- O , I w ou l d have..." I
sco w led w h i le sha k i ng
m y head, u nab le to th i n k of a
proper w ord to
descri be w hat I'd do.
D amen laughed, " H ey, that
food d i d n't loo k so
bad."
I rol led m y eyes an d w as j ust
about to glare at
h i m w hen I caught a gl i m pse
of someth i ng i n the
rearv ie w m irror. I nstantl y m y
eyes l it u p as I
w atch T rent's 72 C hev y p ic k u p
p u l l i nto the
dri ve w ay w ith both T rent an d
D erre k sitti ng i nsi de
it. Beh i n d them w as Bran don's
b lac k S. U . V an d
although the w i n do ws w ere
f iercel y ti nted I cou l d
sti l l manage to see K aris'
sitti ng i n the passenger's
seat w ith Bran don dri v i ng.
I heard D amen sl ightl y
ch uc k le at me. " W hat?" I
q uestioned.
" N oth i ng." H e sai d as he
conti n ued to sm i le,
" H ere, let me get your door for
you."
I w atch D amen as he j u m ped
out of h is truc k an d
came over to m y si de of the
V eh icle. H e opened
the door for me before
of feri ng me h is han d to
ta k e.
" H ey, j ust because I got shot i n
the stomach an d
w ent i nto a C oma for a month
doesn't mean I can't
open m y o w n door." I sai d
w ith a p lay f u l sm i le.
" N o w , no w , Stasee... H o w do
you k no w I'm not
j ust bei ng a gentlemen." H e
teased.
I sl ightl y b l ushed b ut then
reached for h is han d
an d slo w l y cl i m bed out of the
truc k . M y stomach
w as sti l l ten der an d i f I moved
a certai n w ay, pai n
w ou l d shot through m y bod y.
A fter t w o w ee ks of
p h ysiotherap y, I d i d manage
to w a k e m y bod y u p
an d stretch al l the cram ps out
b ut I k ne w it w as
sti l l be a w h i le later before the
b u l let w ou n d w ou l d
f u l l y heal.
" It's a m iracle!" K aris yel led
from Bran don's S U V .
She had the door opened an d
w as lean i ng over
the frame of it. "She can w al k!"
I w atched her as
she f u l l y j u m ped out of the
veh icle an d began to
ru n to w ards me.
A l l the gu ys w ere slo w l y
getti ng out of their
veh icles an d w al k i ng u p
to w ards the house w h i le
K aris bou nced hap p i l y to me
w ith i n secon ds. O f
course she had seen me al most
every day si nce I'd
w o k en u p
b ut I guess f i nal l y seei ng me
out of the
hosp ital, made her al l h y per
an d excited. I cou l d n't
b lame her because honestl y, I
w as pretty excited
to be out of there as w el l.
A s K aris' smal l arms w rap ped
arou n d m y bod y an d
p u l led me i nto a tight
em brace, I w i nced. H er
stomach pressed agai nst m y
o w n w h ich p ut
pressure agai nst the b u l let
w ou n d.
" Be caref u l short-stu f f..."
D arre k sai d i n h is lo w ,
cool voice. "She may be
w al k i ng b ut she d i d j ust
get shot a l ittle over a month
ago."
I cou l d j ust barel y see T rent
beh i n d D erre k b ut at
the mention of me bei ng shot I
d i d noticed ho w he
lo w ered h is head. E ven after
t w o w ee ks of me
constantl y forgi v i ng T rent,
say i ng that ob v iousl y
he d i d n't mean to an d that it
had been an
acci dent, he sti l l had n't f u l l y
forgi ven h i msel f. I
k ne w that it w as goi ng to ta k e
some ti me before
T rent came to terms w ith it
an d noth i ng I cou l d
say w ou l d speed u p the
process an y more.
" O h, m y god." K aris exclai med
as she p u l led a w ay
remorsef u l l y. "Sorry Stase...I
guess I w asn't real l y
th i n k about that."
I sm i led al most i m med iatel y
as I w rap ped m y left
si de arm arou n d her nec k an d
p u l led her i nto a
smal l h ug, caref u l not to press
m y right si de
stomach agai nst an yth i ng.
" D on't w orry, it's j ust a
l ittle scratch." I sai d w ith a
sm ir k .
" A lright, k i ds, let's ta k e th is
party i nsi de." T rent
teased. H e w al k ed u p to the
front door an d began
to u n loc k it as everyone else
fol lo w ed h i m i nto the
house.
O nce w e w ere al l scattered
arou n d the l i v i ng
room, T rent d isap peared i nto
the k itchen to fetch
everyone some dri n ks. I sat on
one of love seat
sofas w ith D amen, although I
had to caref u l l y
position m ysel f onto m y left
si de. Bran don sat
across from us on a match i ng
chair w ith K aris
resti ng on the arm rest laz i l y.
" M ay be I'l l go hel p T rent out."
D erre k f i nal l y bro k e
the si lence as he got u p of f the
other love-seat
an d headed to w ards the
k itchen.
I then seemed to let m y m i n d
w on der over to
school an d al l the days I've
m issed, l uc k i l y it w as
Fri day an d I w ou l d n't have to
go bac k to school for
another
three days. A lso the teachers
seemed to
let m y six w ee ks of f also cou nt
as the suspension I
shou l d
have recei ved for p u nch i ng
C an d ise i n the
face. A p parentl y most of the
teachers at K ersha
H igh w eren't very fon d of her
either so they tried
to gi ve me the most m i n i mal
p u n ish ment. B ut
even though I w ou l d be goi ng
bac k to school as
soon as the w ee k en d en ded
the amou nt of
catch i ng u p I'd have to do w as
alread y stressi ng
me out to the max.
"Stasee?" D amen spo k e softl y
as he reached for
m y face an d l ightl y brushed
h is han d along m y
chee k . I felt m y stomach begi n
to f l utter. " A re
you o k ay?"
O nce D amen's han d p u l led
a w ay from m y face the
dream y state he al w ays caused
m y bod y to
transform i nto slo w l y
van ished a w ay. " H u h?" I
m urm ured before I real i zed
w hat he had actual l y
ask ed me. " O h... U h, yah I'm
f i ne. Just a l ittle
stressed out about school, I
guess."
I heard Bran don laugh from
across the room as I
jer k ed m y head to w ards h i m.
" D i d I say
someth i ng f u n n y?" I ask ed
h i m sk eptical l y.
" K i n da." H e f i nal l y rep l ied.
"Stasee, you are ahead
of everyone i n class... H el l,
you're ahead of me an d
K aris. You don't have an y
catch i ng u p to do, b ut at
last the entire class has caught
u p to you."
K aris giggled, "Stase, H e's
right." She sai d as she
ran her f i ngers through
Bran don's deep bro w n
curl y hair. " You'l l be ahead of
everyone i n a w ee k
or so... W el l, u n less M r. H urtz
over there d istracts
you too m uch."
I felt m y chee ks f l ush red j ust
as D erre k an d
T rent w al k ed i nto the l i v i ng
w ith their arms f u l l of
glasses. T hey han ded both
D amen an d I our
Pepsi's an d then gave K aris
an d Bran don their
7u ps before they got com f y on
the other love-
seat sofa.
"So, w hat'd w e m iss?" T rent
ask ed as he scooted
a l ittle closer to D erre k .
" O h, j ust Stasee ad m itti ng that
she's 'stressi ng
out' about school." Bran don
sai d w ith a croc k ed
sm ir k that w as so si m i lar to
D amen's.
D erre k an d T rent both
ch uc k led the exact same
w ay Bran don f irst had.
I scof fed, " W h y does everyone
k eep laugh i ng at
me?" I deman ded as I fol ded
m y arms agai nst m y
chest.
" W el l, D ol l, even though
you've m issed over six
w ee ks of school, I'm sure
you're sti l l doi ng w ay
better than al l of us." D erre k
sai d w ith a dev i l ish
gri n p lastered to h is face.
I jo k i ngl y glared at h i m before
I too k a si p from
m y Pepsi. D amen reached
to w ards me an d p u l led
me closer to h i m w h ich
i nstantl y forced m y heart
to f l utter. I turned to w ards
K aris an d Bran don, "So
ho w's your gu y's p lay goi ng?"
I k ne w they had
been rehearsi ng 'Romeo an d
Ju l iet' al most every
secon d day. A p parentl y the
f irst day I w o k e u p
from the coma they had
actual l y performed i n
front of a smal l grou p of
peop le at K ersha H igh
b ut their actual l y real
performance i n front of al l
of M clen nan w ou l d be
hap pen i ng i n about a month
from no w . I had alread y
bought m y tic k ets.
" G reat!" K aris exclai med. She
turned an d loo k ed
do w n at Bran don w ith lov i ng
eyes. " Bran don is
amaz i ng at acti ng as Romeo."
Bran don sm i led sh y l y as he
reached for K aris'
han d. " W el l, it ma k es it so
m uch easier w ith you
bei ng Ju l iet...I don't have to
preten d to be i n love
w ith you."
" You're too sw eet." K aris
sm i led before ben d i ng
do w n sl ightl y an d pressi ng
her l i ps gentl y agai nst
Bran don's.
" N o w , no w C h i l dren...Leave
that stu f f for i n the
bedroom." T rent jo k ed.
" Yah, none us w an na' to see
that sh it." D erre k
agreed. H is trademar k sm ir k
tugged at the corners
of h is l i ps.
K aris grab bed a thro w p i l lo w
from the chair an d
tossed it at D erre k . " W hatever,
M ister hal l w ay
k isser." She fought bac k
w h ich i nstantl y bro k e
everyone i nto laughter. W hen
I had f irst w o k en u p
from m y C oma T rent had tol d
me about h is an d
D erre k's very p u b l ic ma k e-out
session i n the
m i d d le of K ersha H igh's
hal l w ays d uri ng the
morn i ng rush. A t f irst I had
been extremel y
surprised that he an d D erre k
had actual l y come
out of the closet, b ut once the
shoc k su bsi ded, I
w as overjoyed for them. Pl us,
they w ere so m uch
hap p ier no w .
"Sh ut u p M i dget, that w as
on l y one ti me!" D erre k
laughed out w h i le tossi ng the
p i l lo w bac k at K aris.
" D on't be cal l i ng m y girl frien d
names." Bran don
joi ned i n as he grab bed K aris
an d p u l led her of f
the armrest, hol d i ng onto her
protecti vel y.
I turned m y attention a w ay
from the l ittle jo k i ngl y
f ight T rent, D erre k , K aris an d
Bran don w ere
hav i ng an d loo k ed to w ards
D amen. It w as at the
moment I noticed he had n't
even been w atch i ng
them; he w as actual l y sitti ng
there loo k i ng do w n
at me. M y chee ks began to
b urn as I loo k ed a w ay
sh y l y.
" Is there someth i ng on m y
face?" I f i nal l y ask ed
w h i le try i ng to clean of f m y
face w ith m y sh irts
sleeve.
" N o." I cou l d hear the sm i le i n
h is voice.
I turned bac k to w ards h i m an d
loo k ed u p i nto h is
deep bro w n eyes that w ere
sti l l softl y loo k i ng
do w n at me.
" T hen w hat are you loo k i ng
at?"
" W hat? I'm not al lo w ed to
stare at m y girl frien d?"
H e sm ir k ed.
T he sh y loo k on m y face
van ished as I stared u p
at h i m i n shoc k . T hat had been
the f irst ti me he
had actual l y referred to me as
h is 'girl frien d'. I n al l
honesty, i n the past t w o w ee ks
si nce I had w o k en
u p, I had n't k no w n w hat to
label our relationsh i p
as. W e had been acti ng l i k e w e
w ere together b ut
never actual l y had that
con versation.
" I'm sorry, I d i d n't mean that. I
mean I guess I
j ust f igured..." D amen f i nal l y
sai d after a very
long an d a w k w ard si lence. " I
shou l d have ask ed...I
mean, i f you don't w ant to
be..."
" N o, no, no." I q u ic k l y rep l ied
once I fou n d m y
voice. " You j ust surprised me,
that's al l." I spread
m y arms out w i de before
bom bard i ng h i m w ith a
tight h ug. " I'd love to, I w ant
to be your girl frien d,
I do!"
I cou l d hear D amen's m u f f led
ch uc k le agai nst m y
hair right before he p u l led me
i nto a tighter h ug. I
cou l d feel the pai n i n m y
stomach soar through
m y bod y b ut I tried hard to
ignore it. I d i d n't w ant
h i m to let go of me, even i f it
h urt.
~*~
It w as about three hours later
w hen everyone
f i nal l y left, leav i ng me an d
D amen alone i n m y b ig
em pty house. I j ust f i n ished
w av i ng good b ye to
D erre k an d T rent w ho w ere
no w speed i ng do w n
the street. I stood at the front
door as I w atched
the truc k d isap pear out of
sight.
D erre k had deci ded that
because today w as their
one month 'out of the closet'
an n i versary, he w as
goi ng to bri ng T rent
some w here special. T rent had
been a l ittle sk eptical at f irst
seei ng as I had j ust
returned home from the
hosp ital today. B ut after
about a hal f hour of
con v i nci ng h i m it w as alright
an d that I'd be f i ne here w ith
D amen, h i m an d
D erre k bou nced out the doors
l i k e a cou p le of
seven year ol d k i ds head i ng to
an am usement
Bran don an d K aris had left
about t w enty m i n utes
before m y brother. Bran don
nearl y had to drag
K aris out of the door an d I'm
sure they managed
to be at least ten m i n utes late
for their " Romeo
an d Ju l iet" rehearsal. L uc k i l y,
I h igh l y dou bted
either of them w ou l d get so
m uch as a slap on the
w rist because from w hat I
heard, M s. Sherman,
the drama teacher, favors
Bran don an d K aris l i k e
they w ere her very o w n
ch i l dren.
" A re you p lan n i ng on stan d i ng
out there al l n ight?"
D amen cal led to me from the
l i v i ng room.
"So, w hat i f I am?" I answ ered
bac k w h i le w al k i ng
bac k i nto the house an d
to w ard the l i v i ng room.
O nce I entered i nto the room I
loo k ed to m y left
w here I fou n d D amen lean i ng
laz i l y agai nst the
p iano. H is sm i le brought u p
both si des of h is
mouth, an d a d i m p le surfaced.
I cou l d feel m y
i nsi des melti ng as I w atched
the w ay h is eyes
loc k ed w ith m i ne j ust before
h is facial expression
softened.
It w asn't very hard to
ac k no w ledge the fact that
th is w as the f irst ti me D amen
an d I had actual l y
been alone, l i k e real l y alone
si nce our ti me on the
cl i f f. E ven at the hosp ital, it
w ou l d al most seem
l i k e w e had pri vacy b ut the
secon d the thought
ever came to m i n d, someone
w ou l d open the door
an d 'chec k i n' on us. B ut no w ,
here w e stood i n m y
em pty
house, com p letel y alone w ith
noth i ng b ut
the sou n d of our breath i ng to
f i l l the si lence.
I cou l d feel m y k nees as they
began to w ea k en
beneath me. I too k a smal l
step a w ay from h i m i n
an attem pt to k eep m ysel f
from tu m b l i ng to the
grou n d. Soon, I fou n d m ysel f
stan d i ng u p agai nst
the bac k of the couch stari ng
at D amen as he
p u l led h i msel f a w ay from the
Piano an d too k a
step closer to me. I felt m y
p u lse edge u p a degree
as
he d i p ped h is head so h is
mouth w as at m y
ear.
" D o you w ant me to leave?" H e
w h ispered as h is
w arm breath tic k led agai nst
m y sk i n.
" N o." I f i nal l y breathed out.
I cou l d feel h is arm brush
agai nst m i ne as our
bod ies w ere separated b y
noth i ng b ut a mere i nch.
N either
of us moved, hol d i ng onto the
fragi le l i n k
that w el ded us together. I
grab bed the bac k of
the couch beh i n d me, usi ng it
for su p port as I
loo k ed u p at h is face. A smal l
sm i le tugged at h is
l i ps w h i le h is eyes seemed to
caref u l l y see k out
m i ne. H is face w as both
patient an d p lead i ng as
h is han ds soon fou n d m y
w aist. H e l i fted me onto
the bac k of the couch, w h ich
leveled m y face w ith
h is.
H e f ixed me w ith a sed ucti ve,
i n v iti ng sm i le as m y
legs dangled, one on either
si de of h i m. H e
reached to w ard me as h is
f i ngers sl ightl y grazed
agai nst the outl i ne of m y face.
G entl y he brushed
m y hair beh i n d m y ear. I cou l d
feel m y bod y
sh u d der i n del ight as I sat
there barel y
ac k no w ledgi ng the fact that I
w as hol d i ng m y
breath u nti l I felt m y l u ngs
tighten. I let it out
sharp l y j ust as he p u l led h is
han d bac k .
I felt so em pty w hen he w asn't
touch i ng me, l i k e
there w as a part of me
m issi ng. I cou l d n't stan d it.
I sna k ed m y arms arou n d h is
nec k an d p u l led h i m
agai nst m y bod y. I w rap ped
m y legs arou n d h is
torso. O ur faces w ere so close I
cou l d feel h is
breath agai nst m y l i ps. It smelt
so sw eet an d
i n v iti ng, al l I w anted w as to
taste it, to feel h is
rough l i ps agai nst the softness
of m i ne.
" You're so beauti f u l." H e sai d
barel y above a
w h isper. I stared i nto h is eyes
an d real i zed they
w ere as si ncere as h is tone.
M y breath i ng w as gro w i ng
heav ier w ith
antici pation b ut I sti l l
managed to m utter out,
"sh ut u p an d k iss me."
O ur l i ps crashed together
urgentl y as m y bod y
trem b led i n vol u ntari l y. W e
k issed l i k e w e had n't
been together for years, l i k e it
w as goi ng to be
the last k iss w e'd ever share. I
sl i d m y han ds
do w n h is bac k as I reached for
the hem of h is
sh irt. I slo w l y began to tug it
of f h i m, w h ich
forced us to brea k our k iss.
For those f i ve secon ds w e
w ere apart I felt so
alone b ut as soon as I loo k ed
at h is bod y, I
gri n ned. I seemed to become
q u ite content stari ng
at h is perfectl y scu l ptured
bod y. I b it do w n on m y
l i p, try i ng to contai n m ysel f
from pou nci ng on h i m
l i k e a l ion.
" U pstairs?" I suggested i n a
smal l voice sti l l
hol d i ng onto h is t-sh irt.
H e nod ded. D amen's arms
w rap ped arou n d m y
w aist as I then melted i nto h is
em brace. H e p u l led
me of f the bac k of the couch.
T he w hole w ay
u pstairs an d i nto m y bedroom
D amen conti n ued to
p lant ten der k isses agai nst m y
sk i n. H e started at
m y l i ps an d made h is w ay
to w ard m y ch i n. H e
slo w l y w ent do w n m y nec k ,
en d i ng at m y
col larbone before ma k i ng h is
w ay bac k u p. Each
ti me h is l i ps brushed agai nst
me, I felt a b urn i ng
sensation tic k l i ng agai nst m y
sk i n.
Soon I fou n d m ysel f bei ng
gentl y lai d do w n on m y
bed as D amen slo w l y cra w led
onto of me. I
real i zed I sti l l had h is t-sh irt
i n m y han ds as I
drop ped it to the f loor. H e
l ightl y brushed h is l i ps
agai nst m i ne, al most teasi ngl y.
I w rap ped m y arms
arou n d
h is nec k an d p u l led h i m tight
agai nst m y
bod y as I rol led over u nti l I
w as on top of h i m.
Both m y legs rested on each
si de of D amen's bod y
as I sat u p an d slo w l y began to
peel of f m y long
sleeve t-sh irt before tossi ng it
to the f loor.
I w atched the w ay D amen
stared u p at me
h u ngri l y, b ut there w as also
someth i ng else i n h is
eyes. It w as someth i ng I had n't
seen the f irst ti me
we
had done th is. It w as more soft
an d si ncere. I
cou l d see the l ust i n h is gaze
b ut it seemed l i k e it
w as more than j ust l ust - it
w as someth i ng
deeper, someth i ng stronger. I
l i k ed it.
I fel l bac k do w n agai nst h is
m uscu lar bod y as m y
l i ps fou n d h is. Eagerl y, I
deepen the k iss as h is
mascu l i ne arms w rap ped
arou n d m y smal l w aist.
T he ti ngl i ng feel i ng that
eru pted through m y
entire bod y overpo w ered the
ten derness of m y
stomach w ou n d. H is tongue
soon fou n d its w ay to
m y mouth as I tasted the sw eet
w armth that it
del i vered.
I felt h i m attem pt to u n hoo k
m y bra. A fter a fe w
secon ds of h i m try i ng, I
reached beh i n d m y bac k
an d w ith sha k y han ds
u n hoo k ed it for h i m. I
p ushed m ysel f u p a l ittle b it as
m y bra sl i d do w n
m y arms an d I f l u ng it to the
si de. I felt so
exposed to h i m as m y bare
breasts fel l out of the
bra cu ps b ut as soon as m y
eyes met h is, al l m y
i nsecurities w ere erased. H e
stared at me w ith
noth i ng b ut sheer yearn i ng
an d passion.
H is han ds reached u p to w ards
m y face before
slo w l y ma k i ng h is w ay do w n
m y bod y. Barel y
touch i ng me, an d yet graz i ng
the sk i n enough to
force me to arch m y bac k as a
smal l moan
escaped m y l i ps. H e roamed
h is w ay do w n to m y
th ighs an d then bac k u p
to w ards the b uttons on
m y jeans. Slo w l y he began to
u n do them as m y
han ds fel l do w n to h is chest. I
hel d m ysel f u p as
he gentl y p u l led of f m y jeans
an d u n der w ear,
w h ich left me sitti ng there
com p letel y na k ed. I sl i d
my
han ds do w n h is bod y u nti l I
reached the
begi n n i ng of h is jeans,
f u m b l i ng to get them
u n done.
O nce w e w ere both na k ed
D amen w rap ped h is
arms arou n d m y w aist an d
rol led me bac k over so
he w as once agai n l y i ng on top
of me.
" A re you sure you w ant to do
th is?" H e breathed
heav i l y.
I sm i led ad m iri ngl y at h i m
before w h isperi ng, " I've
never been so sure of an yth i ng
i n m y entire l i fe."
T he f irst ti me w e had done
th is w as absol utel y
noth i ng com pared to th is ti me.
E veryth i ng w as so
m uch more del icate, more
passionate, an d j ust
p lai n better. T h is ti me it felt
right.
~*~
I loo k ed over at D amen w ho
w as no w l y i ng on m y
bed w eari ng noth i ng b ut a
pair of boxer shorts. H e
w as on h is si de, resti ng h is
head i n h is han d as he
w atched me get dressed. I
p u l led on a pair of
b lac k boy-shorts u n der w ear
before reach i ng for
D amen's b lac k 'Joh n D eere" t-
sh irt an d p u l l i ng it
over m y head. I com p letel y
dro w ned i nto h is sh irt
an d yet it w as probab l y one of
the com f iest th i ngs
I'd ever w orn.
A s I peered over at D amen
agai n, I noticed a sm i le
sm ir k had ta k en over h is face
an d I cou l d n't hel p
b ut notice a h i nt of
am usement i n h is eyes.
" W hat?" I f i nal l y ask ed as I
p laced m y han ds on
m y h i ps an d w aited for h is
answ er.
" You loo k so cute i n m y t-
sh irt." H e f i nal l y rep l ied
as a bash f u l sm i le gre w on m y
face. I w as j ust
about to loo k a w ay sh y l y
w hen he su d den l y p u l led
me onto the bed w ith h i m. I
yel led out alou d
w h ich soon w as fol lo w ed b y
giggles.
H e rol led me over h i m an d
p laced me on the other
si de of the bed as he hovered
over me. H is eyes
scaled m y bod y before
meeti ng m y o w n gaze. Just
l y i ng there, stari ng i nto h is
deep bro w n eyes made
me feel w arm i nsi de. I never
w anted th is to go
a w ay, I w ish th is moment
cou l d last forever. I
k ne w it w as getti ng late an d
m y eyes constantl y
tried to rem i n d me of ho w
tired I w as. B ut I d i d n't
w ant to go to sleep, l y i ng i n
bed w ith D amen at
m y si de w as better than an y
dream ever cou l d be.
I w ished I cou l d j ust stay
a w a k e an d never let the
moment en d.
" D amen..." I f i nal l y w h ispered
out.
" Yah?"
" C an you prom ise m y
someth i ng?" I b it m y bottom
l i p.
" D epen ds...?" H e sai d
sk eptical l y, although he
hel d a sm i le on h is face that
sai d, 'I'd do an yth i ng
for you.'
" C an you prom ise me that
w hen I w a k e u p i n the
morn i ng...You'l l sti l l be here?"
T h is actual l y made h i m
ch uc k le. I w as l y i ng there
try i ng to have a serious
con versation w ith h i m an d
he w as laugh i ng at me.
"Stasee..." H e began as he
d i p ped h is head lo w er
to w ards me, com p lete
seriousness too k over h is
tone. " I'm sorry to brea k it to
you...B ut you're
of f icial l y never getti ng ri d of
me." H e then closed
i n the smal l gap that separated
m i ne an d h is l i ps.
T en derl y, he pressed h is l i ps
agai nst m i ne w h ich
caused m y stomach to do
su m mersau lts.
" G ood." I spo k e agai nst h is
mouth as I felt h is l i ps
form i nto a sm i le.
Slo w l y he p u l led a w ay from
the k iss, as h is eye
soon fou n d m i ne. O ur gaze
stayed loc k ed for
a w h i le, neither of us spo k e.
T he on l y sou n d that
reached m y ears w as the
sou n d of our hearts
beati ng i nsi de our chests an d
our l ight breath i ngs.
H e reached h is han d to w ards
me, cu p p i ng m y
chee k as he w atched me w ith
ad m iri ng eyes.
"Stasee..." H e sai d barel y
above a w h isper, " I love
you."
I felt m y heart melt i nsi de me,
as everyth i ng
seemed to com p letel y
d isap pear arou n d us. I
stared at h i m for w hat felt l i k e
hours as h is w ords
conti n ued to echo i n m y ears
l i k e the perfect
l u l lab y. I cou l d hear the
ham meri ng of m y heart
gro w i ng w ith speed as I tried
to com prehen d w hat
he w as say i ng. D i d he actual l y
j ust say that? I
thought to m ysel f. I loo k ed
i nto h is eyes, real i z i ng
he w as w aiti ng for me to
rep l y. B ut honestl y, I
cou l d n't spea k; I w as sti l l
try i ng to con v i nce m ysel f
th is w asn't j ust a dream. I
reached for m y leg an d
p i nched it.
" O uch!" I cal led out. O k ay, th is
m ust not be a
dream, I f i nal l y concl u ded.
" D i d you j ust p i nch yoursel f?"
D amen ask ed try i ng
to k eep h i msel f from
laugh i ng.
" I... U h." I tried to come u p
w ith a good enough
reason for p i nch i ng m ysel f b ut
cou l d n't th i n k of
someth i ng fast enough.
" Yah...I d i d...Just ma k i ng
sure th is is real."
H e laughed l ightl y before
l y i ng bac k on the bed.
H e reached to w ards me an d
p u l led me tightl y
agai nst h i m as I melted i nto
h is w arm em brace
an d sn uggled m y head agai nst
h is chest.
E veryth i ng w as so perfect. I
f i nal l y had m y fairy
tale come true. I n the past t w o
months m y l i fe
had changed com p letel y. I had
frien ds, m y
relationsh i p w ith m y brother
gre w stronger, m y
l i fe w as no longer isolated,
an d lastl y I had the
perfect boy frien d. Sure, a lot
of bad th i ngs had
hap pened to, L iam for one,
w h ich no matter w hat
the memory of that n ight
w ou l d probab l y sti l l
hau nt me for years to come.
B ut at least no w he
w as loc k ed u p an d w ou l d n't
have the chance to
f i n ish w hat he had started.
B ut even though so m uch bad
th i ngs had
hap pened i n the past t w o
months, the good th i ngs
over
po w ered the bad an d i f I cou l d
ever go bac k
i n ti me...I w ou l d n't change
one th i ng.
I glanced u p at D amen, he w as
sti l l stari ng do w n
at me lov i ngl y, l i k e he too w as
too scared to go to
sleep, too scared to let th is
n ight en d.
F i nal l y, I w h ispered out, " I
love you too." A n d I
meant every w ord of it.
I felt D amen press h is l i ps
agai nst the top of m y
head. H e tightened h is gri p
arou n d me as I felt h is
heart th u m p i ng through h is
chest an d agai nst m y
chee k . I cou l d hear every beat
of h is heart as I
soon fel l asleep w ith on l y one
thought i n m y m i n d,
D amen loved me... A n d I loved
h i m.
T he E n d.