From: The Boss <company.boss@office.
com>
Sent: Thursday, 30 March 2023 07:50
To: Carol <[email protected] >
Subject: LUGUBRIOUS DAY AT WORK
Hello dear Carol.
• You will find out every possible gossip and do your best to spread it.
• You will take anything you hear and make it a bit more interesting with a lie.
• Whenever you get in the zone you feel young again, the golden years of high-school and
the wonders of hallway gossip.
• The Rule-lover gets on your nerves, constantly remining you how to act “appropriately”
at work.
Best regards,
Human Resources Manager
Sent: Thursday, 30 March 2023 07:50
To: Barbara <
[email protected] >
Subject: LUGUBRIOUS DAY AT WORK
Hello dear Barbara.
• “Damn the kids these days they-“
• “How do these technologies work again?”
• You don’t like how the world is changing and hold on tight to printing your reports instead
of sending them by mail, the kids annoy you with all of their Instagrabooks and Snaptoks,
in your time...
• You are still the most grandma person anyone has ever met.
• Constantly trying to “fix” Hunter.
Best regards,
Human Resources Manager
From: The Boss <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, 30 March 2023 07:50
To: Joe <[email protected] >
Subject: LUGUBRIOUS DAY AT WORK
Hello dear Joe.
• You really don’t care for this job, it’s only to make ends meet and you will not do more
than the bare minimum.
• Small talk with your co-workers bores you, you could be slacking off instead.
• No matter what Linda Maria does, she can never get you riled up.
• You are constantly harassed by Matthew and Donald, but you always remind them they
are forgetting to work by trying to make him work.
Best regards,
Human Resources Manager
Sent: Thursday, 30 March 2023 07:50
To: Timothy <
[email protected] >
Subject: LUGUBRIOUS DAY AT WORK
Hello dear Timothy.
• “Um, actually-”
• You are not afraid when someone makes a mistake and will make your solemn duty to
correct them.
• You do not back down even if you are wrong, you just double down.
• You are best friends with Matthew and together you make the most annoying duo. At least
to the office’s opinion.
Best regards,
Human Resources Manager
From: The Boss <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, 30 March 2023 07:50
To: Hunter <[email protected] >
Subject: LUGUBRIOUS DAY AT WORK
Hello dear Hunter.
• “I don’t get paid enough for this.”
• You did have some prospects for a good life before taking this job, but it doesn’t matter
anymore does it? You still enjoy your life outside of this office building but coming back
to work each day and dealing with the meaningless squabbles of these people really is
annoying.
Best regards,
Human Resources Manager
Sent: Thursday, 30 March 2023 07:50
To: Matthew <
[email protected] >
Subject: LUGUBRIOUS DAY AT WORK
Hello dear Matthew.
• You believe you and the boss are great friends even though he barely notices your
existence.
• You love to tell fun stories from your youth and embellish them a bit and change then
often to put yourself in a good light.
• You are best friends with Timothy.
Best regards,
Human Resources Manager
From: The Boss <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, 30 March 2023 07:50
To: Donald <[email protected] >
Subject: LUGUBRIOUS DAY AT WORK
Hello dear Donald.
• “Somebody put the paperclips in the wrong drawer again! Don’t be such disorganized
animals.”
• “You should not bring your personal problems to work.”
• You are easily annoyed at the people at the office. Slacking off and doing their job only
halfway. No matter if they are not happy working here they should still try hard and do a
proper job. Their mistakes reflect poorly on everyone. Joe really gets on your nerves for
this exact reason. Hunter is no better but at least they can be fixed.
Best regards,
Human Resources Manager
Sent: Thursday, 30 March 2023 07:50
To: Linda Maria <
[email protected] >
Subject: LUGUBRIOUS DAY AT WORK
Hello dear Linda Maria.
• You are insecure about your own boring life so you are not afraid to take it out on other
people who live much more fun and interesting lives.
• Be it preaching the Bible, common sense or just simple decency, you will always find an
excuse to drag another person’s name through the mud when.
• Why should they be happy when you are so miserable? But you would never show that to
anyone. You are perfect and everyone else is not.
Best regards,
Human Resources Manager
From: The Boss <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, 30 March 2023 07:50
To: Helen <[email protected] >
Subject: LUGUBRIOUS DAY AT WORK
Hello dear Helen.
• Everyone at work is so stuck up and uptight. They should just relax a bit and live their
life.
• You are the life of any conversation and you hate small talk and will find any excuse to
talk about something more fun.
• You really want to make Donald see how much more fun life is when you break some
rules.
Best regards,
Human Resources Manager
