1. How to make an argument?

By adding information There are several reasons why the government should collect
(speaking) taxes (state the argument). First, the money raised is
necessary to build infrastructure. Second, existing roads and
buildings need to be updated and repaired. Third, these funds
are needed to pay salaries for public workers including the
police and firefighters.
=> Linking phrases:
Ideas are equal:
First, Second,....
In addition, / Additionally
One idea is more important
Besides,
More importantly,
Moreover, / Furthermore,

Showing cause and THE DOMINO EFFECT

effect Idea 1 (population exceeds the number of flats and houses) ->
Idea 2 (many people do not have a place to live) -> Idea 3 (put
pressure on local charities) <- Idea 4 (they find food and shelter
for the homeless).
=> Linking phrases:
which means that / It means that
As a result, / As a consequence, / Consequently,
It is because … / due to
If …. then….

Predict a result Use “if”

If we continue to destroy the forest then the ecosystem will
collapse in the near future.
If people become famous then they will -> may have to work
overtime a lot and not have any time to relax.

Showing contrast => Linking phrases:

If...not...then…
Unless
Without
Under no circumstance

2. Explaining and Clarifying the Ideas

Some ideas are NOT TRUE to everyone because NOT ALL PEOPLE have THE SAME
experience.
Example 1: The main reason for traffic jams is the poor infrastructure and lack of public
transportation.
=> Clarify: NARROW DOWN THE SCALE
In developing countries such as Vietnam, the main reason for traffic jams is the poor
infrastructure and lack of public transportation.

Example 2: Eating fruit can make some people feel unwell, and it can even affect the ability
to work. Therefore, I believe that schools should not encourage all children to eat fruit.

In some cases, / In some situations,...

3. THEME

Topic Theme

Happiness Money: For some individuals, happiness can be achieved by

(How to achieve earning a lot of money. By generating high income, they
happiness in life?) can enjoy a comfortable life and buy whatever they want. For
example, it is shown in the media that celebrities always look
happy with their huge mansions and expensive sports
cars.
Society: For some people, they are happy when
contributing to the community.
Family: For some people, the true happiness is to stay with
their family.

Some people say that it is possible for a country to be both economically successful and
have a clean environment. Some others disagree. Discuss both views and give your
opinion.

TASKS:
- Discuss both views: GIVE REASON FOR both views
- Give your opinion: PROVE your opinion

Economic development and environmental protection are really necessary for the survival
of a country. Some people state that if the economy grows then the surroundings will be
damaged and vice versa, but others oppose that not only can a nation have an economic
expansion -> growth but it also has a decontaminated environment. This essay will discuss
both opinions and from my perspective, I agree with the former.

It might be true that it is achievable for a state -> nations to be both prosperous and have a
non-polluted environment. Firstly, a successful economy allows governments to have a lot
of money to invest in the development of many high-tech equipment for producing
renewable resources. These energies do not emit carbon dioxide and other greenhouse
gases that contribute to global warming. Secondly, when a nation is economically successful,
citizens’ awareness about the environment will be raised. It is because when people live
with a stable income, they tend to invest more in education which enhances their
knowledge about various fields including the environment. This results in the improvement
of awareness and turns into actions which contribute greatly to environmental protection.
It is because when their living standard is improved, people tend to enhance their
knowledge about how to preserve the surroundings.

P (Central point)
E (Explain)
E (Expand: Further explain, Example)
L (Link to the question)
Despite the aforementioned reasons, I still argue economic growth and environmental
protection cannot happen at the same time/simultaneously. To be more specific, a wealthy
economy comes from industrialization which has a negative impact on the environment. A
typical example is that enormous forests are being destroyed to make room for factories
and cut down for timber which is a raw material of many industries. As a consequence, it
can drive many animal species into extinction since forests are their only home and
deforestation also leaves soil more prone to erosion by virtue of the loss of trees, causing
floods and landslides. Besides, people earn much more money than before thanks to
economic growth, resulting in an increase in consumption which increases the amount of
waste and thus, carbon footprint on our planet. In a nutshell, industrialization and over-
consumption are inseparable parts of economic growth, yet they are the main sources of
pollution. Therefore, I believe that economic development cannot be achieved at the same
time with a clean environment.

In conclusion, some claim that it is possible for a country to be both economically developed
and have a clean habitat because of investment in environmental solutions and raising
people's awareness. Nevertheless, I maintain my position that they are not able to be done
due to the environmental impacts of industrialization and over-consumption.

4. Example
Problems: Examples are not examples

Version 1:
Version 2:

Version 1 Version 2

In London, people prefer to travel by buses For example, cities like London, Tokyo and
because buses are fast and they go to Singapore have excellent underground
famous places of the city. trains that are filled with people travelling to
=> MADE-UP work, school or college every day.

Topic: Becoming a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Benefits Problems

Money: earn a lot of money Physical and mental health

Respect: have the respect from others Privacy

More importantly, they are likely to be relentlessly pressured to work in order to keep
gaining their coverage in the media. This can result in physical and mental exhaustion
(due to overwork). A painful example is Avicii, a well-known musician idolized by millions
of people and a billionaire living a fancy life, yet he decided to take his own life after a
long time suffering from severe kidney damage and depression as a result of endless
touring all over the world in several years. Clearly, in this situation, financial satisfaction
and adoration of others cannot offset the cost of being famous.

5. Approaches

Do you agree or disagree?

To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Do you think ….?
Being a celebrity – such as a famous film star or sports personality – brings problems as
well as benefits. Do you think being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems?

Approach A: looks at both P1: Benefits P2: Problems

sides then reaches a - earn a great deal of - spend more to earn
conclusion about it money -> Not only more: invest money
can they make a in the media in order
Introduction: Thesis huge amount of to maintain their
statement: Problem > money from their appearance/
benefit professions such as coverage -> if failure
a singer, an actor or -> lose a lot of
P1: benefit (NOT an athlete, but they money + career
SUPPORT) can also earn from opportunities
endorsement. - privacy: sacrifice
- being idolized by (v): hi sinh + N: in
P2: Problems (SUPPORT) other people -> order to be famous,
(cause) have talents they have to sacrifice
Conclusion: Restate your so they can attract a their privacy -> the
opinion + summarize main significant number of public pay more
ideas admirers -> (effect) attention to their
being respected by personal life -> if
the public -> feel personal information
good about such as sensitive
themselves + may images are leaked to
encourage them to the public then…...
do better
Approach B: looks at only
the side that you agree with

Introduction: Thesis
statement: Problem >
benefit

P1: Problem 1 + 2

P2: Problem 3 + 4

Conclusion: Restate your

opinion + summarize main
ideas

Approach C: Looks at only

the side that you agree with
by mention the opposite side
in counter-argument

P1: Problem 1
P2: Problem 2 + Counter-
argument

COUNTER-ARGUMENT

Version 1 Version 2 (counter-argument)

Opinion: I want to change my job Opinion: I want to change my job

Reasons: The first reason is that it pays me Acknowledge the counter-argument: It
well and also, I can learn a lot from the might be true that if I stay, I can have a
people there. stable income and might be promoted soon.
Refute (= prove something wrong) the
counter-argument: However, this job pays
me better and I can learn a lot more in a
new company.

Present YOUR OPINION I believe that being a celebrity brings a lot more problems
than benefits.

Present Some people might say that when being famous, people
counterargument can earn a lot of money and live a comfortable life.

Concede the idea It is true that celebrities usually live in luxurious mansions
and drive expensive sports cars.

Refute the idea However, I still think that it is not worth it to sacrifice health
in exchange for money.

Support YOUR IDEA It is because to gain money, they have to work under huge
pressure which means they have little time for relaxation. At
some point, their body will be exhausted and it also can lead
to serious health problems.
THE WRITING DIARY

Your answer:
“What is happiness?" - that is the name of a TV show broadcast at 1 p.m every Sunday on
VTV3 channel and is also the question that each individual pones to himself. Depends ->
depending on defining what happiness is, some people believe that adolescence is the
happiest period of most people’s lives while others argue that despite taking more
responsibilities, the life of an adult is more joyful than that of a teenager. This essay will
discuss both opinions and from my perspective, I agree with the former.

It might be true that in spite of greater responsibilities, adult life brings more happiness. It
is because adults have much more freedom than teenagers or in other words, adults can
do whatever they want without permission from parents. To be more specific, they not only
can -> Not only can they choose the job they prefer, but they also can buy the goods they
love and at the time of making such important decisions, adults feel very happy -> a great
sense of freedom which creates the feeling of happiness. Additionally, some people
consider that the responsibilities of adults such as paying bills, educating their children,
and so on puts high -> huge pressure on them making them more worried than happy.
However, this issue is not -> does not matter when adults -> the grown-ups can get a good
job to earn lots -> a of -> a great deal of / a significant amount of money.

adult (n) -> grown-up (n) = a grown up individual

adulthood (n): reach adulthood

Despite the freedom of an adult life, I still claim that the teenage years are the happiest
time of most people's lives due to the following reasons. First, they do not have lots of
concerns on economic -> financial issues. It is by virtue of those (which) have -> having
been solved by adults and it is also because the majority of teenage period is spent on
studying so adolescents do not need to go to work to make money. From this aspect,
teenagers could not have any economic -> financial burdens and they are happy -> so
they may seem happier than adults. Second, the freedom of teenagers is more and more
broadened -> increased. It is obvious that teenages are too young to have lots of
experience in life and thus, they are free to do what they want within the law and if they
make mistake, they can be accepted by others. In summary, the teenage years are
happier than adult life since they do not have anything to worry about and they can even
have greater freedom than adults.

In conclusion, some people might state that the life of adults brings more joyfulness
because of freedom. Nevertheless, I maintain my position that adolescence is the happiest
time of most people's lives since there is no economic -> financial pressure and the
freedom is more and more broadened -> even greater.
Notes and marking:

Task Response Cohesion and Coherence

-Respond to the question: pretty Connection device: good

good Logic: downgrade due to idea 4
- Develop ideas: idea 4 (invalid)
=> unclear
=> 6
-> 6
Lexical Resource Grammar Range and Accuracy

- paraphrase: not good Variety of sentence structures: good

- topic vocab: not good Advanced grammar: average
- accuracy: not good Accuracy: Pretty good

=> 5-6
6

My answer:
Since every stage of a human life comes with particular upsides and downsides,
perspectives on the joyfulness in each development stage vary from individual to
individual. Some opine that the greatest happiness is when being a teenager while others
are more in favor of adulthood despite the responsibilities attached. As far as this matter
is concerned, personally, I find being a grown-up preferable.

It might be true to some people that as being an adolescent, they could enjoy a joyful
carefree life. This feeling arises from the fact that they have no financial burden during
those years since they can rely on their parents to provide food and shelter. Without this
kind of pressure, they can just freely do whatever they desire to do. From my personal
experience, during my teenage years, thanks to the financial support from my parents, I
was able to spend most of my time on learning piano and making music, the only thing
that I was into, instead of being a menial worker such as a waitress in an attempt to earn a
living.

Despite the merits of a burden-free life, I am still more convinced by the idea that adult
life brings greater pleasure. It is because the majority of people, including myself, are
independent from parents once we have reached adulthood. Only by that can we live our
lives to the fullest. In contrast to teenage years when we were hardly given the right to
decide what to do without asking for parental permission, as a grown-up individual, we
can make the decisions according to our own wishes. Of course, in order to achieve that
kind of freedom, we have to sacrifice our time and effort to bear responsibilities. We have
to find a job and also manage to do it well so as to pay our bills and afford our needs for
necessaries such as accommodation, food and electricity. However, it is totally worth it for
we can reward ourselves by, for example, purchasing the latest high fashion or enjoying a
holiday in a 5-star deluxe resort without listening to our parents nagging about money.

In conclusion, being a teenager means little pressure and more time for enjoyable
activities. Nevertheless, I maintain my position that adult life is much more satisfying since
it brings us our priceless freedom which can barely obtained by a teenager. (396 words)

Examiner’s version:

15/10
Being a celebrity – such as a famous film star or sports personality – brings problems as
well as benefits. Do you think being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems?

Your answer:
Nowadays, more and more people, especially the young, would like to become a
prominent personality in order to have a huge amount of money and fame. From my
perspective, the downsides of being famous are more significant than the upsides of that.

Probably, being a celebrity has some advantages. Firstly, if becoming famous, people can
have a great deal of money. In detail, not only can stardoms make them rich from their
professions such as a singer, an actor or an actress, but they also can earn from
endorsement for products and brands thanks to their influence on the public. Additionally,
superstars are idolized by other people. It is because they have talents so they can attract
a remarkable number of fans who admire, respect and even imitate them. Consequently,
celebrities feel good about themselves and this may encourage them to do better.

Despite the aforementioned gains, I still maintain my position that being famous brings
more problems than benefits. Clearly, celebrities need to spend more to earn more. Not
only do they invest money in the media, but they also sacrifice their health in order to
retain their coverage by constant and endless performances for a long time. Furthermore,
being famous means people have to give up their privacy. Undoubtedly, being idolized by
admirers makes stardoms receive more attention from both fans and anti fans to their
personal life. This leads to the fact that if personal information such as sensitive images
are leaked to the public, career opportunities of superstars are impacted negatively, even
can be lost and in some cases being more serious, they have to take their own life due to
heavy pucbic criticism.

In conclusion, although I admit the benefits of being famous which include earning a great
deal of money and being idolized by admirers, I still think that the losses which are the
sacrifice of money, health, privacy and even life are much greater. (321 words)

Notes and marking:

Task Response Cohesion and Coherence

Lexical Resource Grammar Range and Accuracy

My answer:
Nowadays, being a prominent personality is desirable to many people. Although there are
undeniable advantages of being famous, I believe that it begets more challenges than
benefits.

Arguably, people can substantially benefit once they have achieved stardom. As far as
financial rewards are concerned, it is obvious that celebrities are able to earn a great deal
of money. Their sources of income are not limited to their professions as, for example,
actors, singers or athletes, but also endorsement for products and brands thanks to their
influence on people who are targeted customers. In addition, having a reputation allows
them to be respected by the public. It is common that celebrities have talents in a certain
field such as music, art or sport which fascinate a large number of people. It means that
they can receive admiration and recognition from them. This, for some individuals, creates
a sense of satisfaction.

Despite the upsides, I still maintain my position that being a star is more likely to be
associated with troubles rather than pleasure. It is because in order to retain their
stardom, celebrities have to give up their health and wellbeing. Constant appearance in
the media could mean letting their personal life be publicly discussed or even criticized on
newspapers, magazines and social media. This can be intrusive since they are regularly
followed by paparazzi whose attempt is to make a good headline and attract more
viewers. More importantly, they are likely to be relentlessly pressured to work in order to
keep gaining their coverage in the media. This can result in physical and mental
exhaustion. A painful example is Avicii, a well-known musician adored by millions of
people and a billionaire living a fancy life, yet he decided to take his own life after a long
time suffering from severe kidney damage and depression as a result of endless touring all
over the world in several years. Clearly, in this situation, financial satisfaction and
adoration of others cannot offset the cost of being famous.

In conclusion, being a celebrity could allow people to build great wealth to live a
comfortable life and give them the pleasure for being widely admired. However, it seems
to me that the pressure is rather unbearable since they have to sacrifice their health and
wellbeing in exchange for fame. (383 words)

Examiner’s version:
Your answer:
The line graph illustrates the proportion of population in New Zealand between 1950 and
2050. Overall, the number of people being over 65 and 38-45 years old are higher than that
of the 25-37 and 0-24 years old. Additionally, the figure for the oldest group is highest.

In 1950, most of the population in New Zealand were over 65 years old with 60%. This figure
increased slightly by 10% after four decades but it is predicted to decrease to 55% in 2050.
There was a double growth from 25% in the number of people aged 38-45 during forty first
years before falling to 40% in 2000 and it is expected to maintain unchanged over fifty years
after that.

Despite the rate of the youngest group being 5% in 1950, was only a third that of the 25-37
age range but a century after that have been witnessing two opposite trends. In detail, the
figure for the former rose to 10% surpassing that for the latter in 1990 and the 0-14 years old
is predicted to constantly increase to 20% while the percentage of 25-37-year-olds will
bottom out at 0% in 2050. (190 words)