WEEK ONE

ENTERING
THE WATER
BLESSED ARE THE POOR IN SPIRIT

SURRENDER 17
SUGGESTED RESOURCES

WESLEY’S ACCOUNTABILITY QUESTIONS

[Link]/resources/everyday-disciples-john-wesleys-
22-questions – These are 22 self-reflective questions that John Wesley
and the Holy Club asked themselves daily. It is recommended as a tool
to use alongside Creative Way Down.

MOVIE

The Mission

PLAYLIST

“I Came to Believe” and “Help Me” by Johnny Cash;

“I Shall Not Want” by Audrey Assad;

“Please Be My Help” by Gungor;

“Please Come Home” by Dustin Kensrue

“Still” by Hillsong United;

“Come As You Are” by David Crowder;

“Start Over” by Flame

“Help” by The Beatles

“Build Your Kingdom Here” by the Rend Collective

“My Life, My Love, My All” by Kirk Franklin

BOOKS

The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen.

18 INF INITUM
 DAY 1

POOR IN SPIRIT
IN INFINITUM HUBS

MEDIA

VIDEO

Jesus the Poor in Spirit: Openness, Vulnerability and Love

PODCAST

CHECKLIST
Ask each other the following questions:

• Do you fear that your life lacks meaning, purpose and depth?

• Do you act in ways you think you shouldn’t and/or fail to act in ways
you think you should?

• Do you feel guilt or shame over these things?

• Do you feel like your life is inconsistent or compromised?

• Does the world seem too big and complex, and your faith too small
and naïve?

• Do you regularly turn to certain habits, distractions, or sins for

comfort/escape?

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 • Do you either shrink into apathy or burst into frenetic activity to
compensate?

• Have you tried to change things in the past, but keep falling back
into the same habits and patterns?

• Are you consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that

you are better that you really are?

• Do you worry about how long you can keep this up before burning
out?

• Do you feel distant from God and/or community?

• Are you spiritually exhausted?

How many of these questions resonate with you? Are you aware of a
need for a deeper connection to God? Have some areas in your life
been highlighted that you want to address? Do you want to find rest for
your souls?

ACTION
Take this checklist home and answer it for yourself in greater detail.
Write down your answers, and list the distractions, habits or sins you
find yourself turning to regularly. Share your deeper answers during the
week with one of your Infinitum partners.

PRAYER
Read Matthew 5:1-12.

Pray for each other, specifically for the areas that you answered “yes”
to in the checklist.

Pray that you would learn to be open and vulnerable with God, with
yourself, and with each other.

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Pray that you would trust the Lord to help you and deliver you.

Pray that you would learn what it means to be blessed.

STILLNESS

“The lover of silence draws close to God. He talks

to Him in secret, and God enlightens him. Jesus,
by His silence, shamed Pilate; and a man, by his
silence, conquers vainglory.”
– ST JOHN CLIMACUS

Stillness and silence are two of the greatest gifts for our discipleship,
and among the least often practiced in our noisy and distracted world.
Choosing to stop and be still is a prophetic act. It tells us to stop
fighting. It acknowledges that we cannot change our circumstances,
or the world, simply through our own efforts. It allows us the possibility
of encountering the truth of our own hearts and of being filled by the
presence of the Spirit. It is an act of refusing, even for a brief moment,
the world’s false comforts and diversions. It is not apathy, nor is it
activity. It is remaining still and attentive in the presence of God.

Try this out for three minutes today, and every day this week.

Find a comfortable position, sitting up (not slouching or lying down)

and set a timer for three minutes.

Before you start, have each person read out Psalm 70:1 slowly. Use
this Psalm to keep your mind and heart attentive and still. Stillness on
the outside should be matched by stillness inside. Try therefore not to
let your mind run away from you, thinking about things you have to do,
anxiety from the day, or other distractions. Instead, when you feel the
temptation to worry or to daydream, recall your mind by repeating the
verse in your head, or just silently praying, “Deliver me, Lord” or “Help

SURRENDER 21
me, Lord.”

Breathe deeply and begin.

When the three minutes are up read out Matthew 6:5-8, and then pray
The Lord’s Prayer together:

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come, your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our sins,
as we also forgive those who sin against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For yours is the kingdom, the power and the glory
Now and forever, Amen.

Talk about what the experience was like for you. Bring up any fears or
concerns you have about being still and silent for longer periods, or
anything else from this meeting. Commit to following through on the
daily prayers, questions and actions for the week; praying for each
other and encouraging one another; and meeting again next week.

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 DAY 2

FEAR AND
TREMBLING

MORNING

REFLECTION
Read Gen 3:8-13.

Most people are familiar with the “fight, flight and freeze” response
when it comes to fear. This is the result of a massive, automatic
adrenaline dump called the Amygdala Hijack. This adrenaline comes
in handy when dealing with a sudden bear attack, but it is less helpful
when we are trying to navigate the modern world.

Some people’s fear of the ocean causes paralysis or avoidance. They

can’t go anywhere near the water, or even think about it, without
shutting down. This keeps them “safe” but also prevents them from
experiencing the joys of the water. Others try to hide their fear or draw
attention away from it by adopting a fake confidence, essentially trying
to “fight” the water. This can be foolhardy. If there are dangers in the
water, pretending they aren’t there doesn’t make them go away (ask
any Australian). Isn’t it better to know and admit our reality, even if it is
scary, rather than stumbling through it blindly?

Adam and Eve were afraid. They knew they had broken relationship
with God. They were suddenly and shatteringly aware of their
vulnerability and nakedness. And they were filled with shame. In their
fear they tried to run and hide from God, tried to keep the truth from

SURRENDER 23
being seen, just as in covering their bodies they tried to hide their true
selves.

Feeling fear or anxiety is not sinful. We can feel afraid and still have an
attitude of trust in God. But when shame, pain or fear take over this
often leads to cover-ups and hiding. We use habits, addictions, and
sins to comfort and distract us from the painful truths we don’t want to
face or feel, and then we try to hide those habits as well. We don’t fully
trust God to provide what we think we need, or to provide it in the time
or the way that we want it, so we run to other things. We fight, hard,
against acknowledging the reality of our condition, like a person who
refuses to go to the doctor out of fear they might find something bad.

Our culture intentionally reinforces our fears, because people who are
afraid and distracted are easier to control and manipulate. Fear creates
great consumers of both material goods and political platforms. So,
we are constantly sold on the latest distractions and comforts to keep
us in a state of dependency and numbness. We are conditioned about
who to fight, what to run away from, when to freeze, and how to solve
all our problems through the latest purchase.

This perpetual state of fear, both personal and societal, is the opposite
of what Jesus wants for us. Poverty of spirit is not a negative thing;
after all, Jesus calls it a blessing, a prerequisite for receiving the
Kingdom of Heaven. To be poor in spirit is to be free from the enslaving
fear of having to be in control of everything inside and outside of us.
It is to humbly acknowledge there are some things we cannot control,
and to confess that our attempts at wresting control have led to
greater harm to ourselves and others. It is learning to trust God for
our satisfaction, provision, hope and comfort. It is being emptied of
ourselves and filled with God’s Spirit, so that we can join Jesus in the
joy and the work of his kingdom here on earth.

This fear-driven approach is particularly tragic because we were

not made to be afraid. Many of us are familiar with the verse from 2
Timothy 1:7, “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and
love and self control.” But we can look to the first chapter in the Bible
to see that we were not made to be fearful and hiding. Gen 1:27 says,

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“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he
created them; male and female he created them.” We were made in
the very image of God! And it is the recovery of this divine image in us
– the image that all of creation is waiting to see revealed – that is the
purpose of salvation and discipleship.

ACTION
What are your biggest fears and worries? How do you deal with them?
What do you turn to for distraction or comfort?

Choose to intentionally limit that distraction this week. If it’s your smart
phone, for instance, don’t take it with you everywhere today. Choose to
not look at it during meal times. Don’t have it in your bedroom tonight.
Take note of each time you unconsciously reach for it, or even long for
it, during the day. Use those times to still yourself and ask God for help
to face truth and be honest.

PRAYER
Pray The Lord’s Prayer, considering each phrase as you pray it. Does
anything jump out to you today from the prayer? Think especially of the
first two words. What does it mean to call God “Our Father”?

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 MID-DAY

Pray Psalm 3.

Step One of the Twelve Steps says: “We admitted we were powerless
(over drugs, alcohol, etc…) that our lives had become unmanageable.”

Where has your life become unmanageable? Where do you feel

powerless? What are you most afraid of? (Consider making a list of
your fears). Where does that fear come from? Is it helping you?

Find a place to be still and silent for three minutes. Ask the Spirit to
meet you in your stillness, to show you a truth about your heart, and to
reveal God’s love for you.

Use Psalm 70:1 as a help to recall your mind if it starts to wander.

Set a timer for three minutes, breathe deeply, and begin.

When the three minutes are up, pray through Psalm 3 one more time.

EVENING

Read 1 John 4:15-19 and Matthew 6:25-34

Consider this quote from Karl Barth: “I am not the Judge. Jesus Christ
is the Judge. The matter is taken out of my hands. And that means
liberation. A great anxiety is lifted, the greatest of all. I can turn to more
important and more happy and fruitful activities. I have space and
freedom for them in view of what has happened in Jesus Christ.”

Did you experience any fear today? What did you do? Do you have
hope that you will know a freedom from fear? Bring your day to the
Father in prayer and thanksgiving.

26 INF INITUM
 DAY 3

HONESTLY

MORNING

REFLECTION
Read Isaiah 6:1-8 and Luke 5:1-11.

It is important to be honest with yourself about your swimming ability

before treading out into deep waters. Sometimes it is helpful to have
other people with us to reflect the truth about us that we would rather
not see.

In the above passages both Isaiah and Peter encounter the Lord
and respond with strikingly honest self-awareness. Their immediate
reaction is to announce their “uncleanness” or “sinfulness”, and to
assert their unworthiness to stand before a holy God. In Isaiah’s
case a terrifying angel starts flying towards him with a huge burning
coal, likely confirming the suspicion of doom in Isaiah’s mind. But
the coal, far from being punishment, is used instead for atonement
and cleansing. In Peter’s case his confession is met by Jesus’ gentle
response, “Don’t be afraid.” In both Peter and Isaiah’s stories they are
subsequently commissioned to become God’s messengers.

We are afraid to be honest, often because of expected punishment

or rejection. And there are serious consequences to our behaviours
that we must sometimes face. But we do not want to be motivated, or
constrained, by fear. The best way to overcome the things that enslave
us – and the fears that they create in us – is to bring them out into the
light. Poverty of spirit is not about cowering before things that are

SURRENDER 27
scary, it is about accepting who we really are and trusting that God still
loves us and wants us to be free from all that enslaves us and keeps us
from him. What’s more, he has the power to set us free. But we can’t
receive that freedom if we refuse to see or acknowledge our need for
it. We must be honest with ourselves, as honest as we can be, or we
can go no further.

This is tough, because we all have our blind spots. It is why community
is so incredibly important to learning poverty of spirit. Ruth Haley
Barton says: “In community, others become agents of God’s troubling
grace, giving us many opportunities to see ourselves more clearly, to
repent and confess our sins one to another in order to receive grace
and healing….coming face to face with our weakness and being honest
about it opens us to the gift of community and also releases God’s
power among us, within us, beyond us.”

Ask God therefore for the clarity to see what you cannot see about
yourself; the wisdom to admit what you would rather not admit to
yourself; the courage to let others in your community speak truthfully
and honestly into your life; and the hope that God’s response to our
honesty will set us free from fear.

ACTION
Ask two to three people in your life – people who love you, and whom
you trust – to tell you something honest they have observed about
you. Ask them to help you get to a “truthful seeing” about yourself,
to see those things that you may be blind to. It can be something
encouraging, it could be constructive criticism, or it could be a difficult
word of correction or even rebuke. But it must be honest. When they
have done this, thank them, and then take their words and weigh
them. Do you believe what they said to be true? Was it surprising, or
something you knew or suspected already? Did it hurt? Pray about it
and ask God if He thinks it is true. If it is, ask God what you are meant
to do about it.

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PRAYER
Pray The Lord’s Prayer, considering each phrase as you pray it. Does
anything jump out to you today from the prayer? Think especially of the
second phrase. What does the name of God mean to you?

MID-DAY

Pray Psalm 139:1-18

Consider making this prayer from Thomas Merton your own:

“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road
ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really
know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will

does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire
to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in
all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that
desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always
though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.

I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to
face my perils alone.”

Are there areas of your life where you are dishonest with yourself, or
with others? Are there times when you could honestly say, “I have no
idea where I am going,” and “nor do I really know myself”?

Does it comfort or concern you that God knows you perfectly well?
Why?

Find a place to be still and silent for three minutes. Ask the Spirit to
meet you in your stillness, to show you a truth about your heart, and to

SURRENDER 29
reveal God’s love for you.

Use Psalm 70:1 as a help to recall your mind if it starts to wander.

Set a timer for three minutes, breathe deeply, and begin.

When the three minutes are up, pray Psalm 139:23-24.

EVENING

Read 1 John 1:5-10.

How honest you were today with yourself and others? Did you
exaggerate, divert, or hide at all? If so, why? Bring your day to the
Father in prayer and thanksgiving.

30 INF INITUM
 DAY 4

HUMBLE PIE

MORNING

REFLECTION
Listen to “I Shall Not Want” by Audrey Assad:
[Link]

Read 2 Chronicles 20:1-12.

There is a story of King Canute of England in the 12th century, who

placed his throne on the beach and commanded the tide not to rise.
When the tide refused to obey his royal decree, and his throne got
soaked, Canute is reported to have said, ‘Let all men know how empty
and worthless is the power of kings, for there is none worthy of the
name, but He whom heaven, earth, and sea obey by eternal laws.’

The story could be made up. But the statement is true. Anyone who
gets into the ocean and feels the power of the waves knows they have
no real power over them. How much less do we have full control over
our lives, or over God?

This calls for deep humility. There is a danger when we talk about
humility that it turns into self-loathing. But humility, as C.S. Lewis put
it, is not thinking less of yourself, so much as it is thinking of yourself
less. Another way of thinking about humility is that we agree with what
God thinks about us. God loves us, he wants us to be with him, he
encourages us and calls us to our best. But he also knows that we are
not God and that we need help.

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Humility is an essential part of poverty of spirit. When we uncover
the honest truth about ourselves there is a temptation to react with
justification, defensiveness and rebellion. This will only dig us further
into self-centeredness. The other option is to have our hearts softened
and ready to be changed. Humility is the prescription for dealing
with the pride that gets in the way. It is a posture that we take before
God and others. We agree with God that we are not God, accept that
we may be wrong, and ask God’s help make things right. Then we
practice this over and over again, in all circumstances, and in all our
relationships. We start to pay attention to the harm that our behavior
has caused ourselves and others.

In the story above from 2 Chronicles the King and the nation of Judah
were in serious trouble. They had no realistic way of fending off the
horde arrayed against them. From this position of powerlessness
they called out to the Lord through a fast and a solemn assembly, and
Jehoshaphat uttered the vital line: “We do not know what to do, but our
eyes are on you.” What an incredible thing for a king to admit! I can do
nothing here to save myself, but I believe – I hope – that you can, oh
Lord.

What if we were to adopt that posture every day, every morning? We

don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on you.

ACTION
As much as you reasonably can, embrace silence today. If someone
insults you, don’t respond. Avoid social media (which can be a
dangerous place for trying to make ourselves look good) and
entertainment (which is often noisy and distracting). Listen to other
people when they talk today, without trying to figure out the next thing
you want to say. If you must speak, ask questions. At the end of the
day reflect on how this approach affected you and others around you.
Was it frustrating? Liberating? Humbling? What hidden feelings and
thoughts rose up?

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PRAYER
Pray The Lord’s Prayer, considering each phrase as you pray it. Does
anything jump out to you today from the prayer? Think especially of the
phrase “deliver us from evil”. What trouble might you need deliverance
from today?

MID-DAY

Pray Psalm 131

Try to make this prayer from Mother Teresa your own:

Deliver me, O Jesus:

From the desire of being esteemed
From the desire of being loved
From the desire of being honored
From the desire of being praised
From the desire of being preferred to others
From the desire of being consulted
From the desire of being approved
From the desire of being popular.
Deliver me, O Jesus:
From the fear of being humiliated
From the fear of being despised
From the fear of being rebuked
From the fear of being slandered
From the fear of being forgotten
From the fear of being wronged
From the fear of being treated unfairly
From the fear of being suspected
And, Jesus, grant me the grace

SURRENDER 33
To desire that others might be more loved than I
That others might be more esteemed than I
That in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I decrease
That others may be chosen and I set aside
That others may be preferred to me in everything
That others may become holier than I, provided that I, too, become as
holy as I can.

Which phrases of this prayer do you find most difficult to pray? Why?
How does your pride get in the way? What person or group do you find
yourself consistently looking down upon? Could you pray the last part
of the above prayer for them?

Find a place to be still and silent for three minutes. Ask the Spirit to
meet you in your stillness and to show you what humility looks like.

Use Psalm 70:1 as a help to recall your mind if it starts to wander.

Set a timer for three minutes, breathe deeply, and begin.

When the three minutes are up, pray Psalm 131 one more time.

EVENING

Read Luke 18:9-17

What did humility look like for you today? Did pride interfere anywhere?
Bring your day to the Father in prayer and thanksgiving.

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 DAY 5

HELP!

MORNING

REFLECTION
Read Acts 9:1-19

AA Step 2: “We came to be aware that a Power greater than ourselves

could restore us to sanity.”

If you have ever been rescued by a lifeguard after finding yourself in

deeper or rougher water than you could handle, you will understand
Step 2 of Alcoholics Anonymous a little better. Sometimes we need to
admit that we are in over our heads and desperately need help.

Saul/Paul is portrayed as a confident, zealous, perhaps prideful man when

we are first introduced to him. He is completely sure of himself and his
convictions, to the point where he is quite happy to take his persecution of
Christians on the road. We may be familiar with the story of his encounter
with Jesus on his way to Damascus, but we should pay close attention
to what happens afterward. Blinded by the Lord, Saul requires help to
get into the city safely, and then needs the prayers of Ananias, one of
the Christians he had come to arrest, to regain his sight. This had to be
a humbling encounter for Saul (not to mention a scary one for Ananias).
Saul begins his life of following Jesus by being rebuked, blinded, and
then reliant upon the help of others. But this whole sequence was direct,
tangible evidence to him of his need for God, and of God’s ability to save.
It is from this that Saul can say, “the life I now live in the body, I live by faith
in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Gal 2:20)

SURRENDER 35
We need to be ready to admit that we need help. We especially need to
confess that we cannot accomplish our salvation or discipleship on our
own. We need the Lord’s help to restore the image of God in us, which
is the purpose of our creation. We typically reflect every other image
in the world: materialism, violence, partisan politics, celebrity, family,
culture, advertisers, school, denominations, and whatever else we can
get our hands on. We don’t know who we are or what we are supposed
to be doing, we just suspect that life is unsatisfying and everything
we try leads to nothing. If we want to be free from that chaos then
we need outside help. Asking for God’s help is a huge part of what it
means to be poor in spirit.

God wants to help us. He says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and
burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matt 11:28) What is more wearying
or burdensome than trying to go it alone in deep and troublesome
waters? Let us accept that we are blinded and need the Lord’s help and
guidance to lead us into safety and sanity.

ACTION
Confess to someone you trust - maybe one of your Infinitum partners
– an area where you need help and strength. Maybe it’s a feeling of
being overwhelmed, a skill that you lack, or a shame or sin that you
can’t seem to shake. You aren’t necessarily asking for the person to fix
things for you, just acknowledging your need for outside help. Start by
confessing this to yourself and to God.

PRAYER
Pray The Lord’s Prayer, considering each phrase as you pray it. Does
anything jump out to you today from the prayer? Think especially of
the phrase “give us this day our daily bread.” What is the help you need
from the Lord today?

36 INF INITUM
 MID-DAY

Pray Psalm 6

Reflect on the lyrics to Gungor’s song, “Please by my Strength”, or

listen to it here: [Link]

I’m looking for a place

Where I can plant my faith
One thing I know for sure
I cannot create it
And I cannot sustain it
It’s Your love
That’s keeping me
Please be my strength
Please be my strength
I don’t have any more

Where are you most aware of your need for help and strength? Do you
find it easy or hard to ask for help?

Find a place to be still and silent for three minutes. Ask the Spirit to
meet you in your stillness, to show you where you need help, and to
reveal how God longs to be your help and your shield.

Use Psalm 70:1 or one of the lines from the song as a help to recall
your mind if it starts to wander.

Set a timer for three minutes, breathe deeply, and begin.

When the three minutes are up, pray Psalm 6 one more time.

SURRENDER 37
 EVENING

Read Luke 5:27-32

Where did you need God’s help today? Did you ask for it? Where did
you need help from others? Again, did you ask? Bring your day to the
Father in prayer and thanksgiving.

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 DAY 6

I SURRENDER

MORNING

REFLECTION
Read Matthew 19:16-26

There is a big difference between wading in the shallows and committing

to a swim. You can wander around at the shore line without getting your
clothes wet, enjoying the idea of swimming and the general concept of
the ocean, but the decision to go deeper requires an act of surrender. You
have to let something go, in this case being dry, safe and warm on the
shore.

Giving up stuff is hard. We grow very attached to our possessions, our

habits and routines, our thoughts and worldviews. But there is no way
forward without surrendering these attachments to God.

Attachment and addiction are not just about drugs and alcohol – we can
be attached and addicted to any number of things, including comfort,
convenience, power, systems, and relationships. Addiction is always bad,
an enslavement. And part of the necessary answer to this enslavement
is detachment from the objects of our attachment. We sometimes think
this means a freedom from desire, a devaluing of things or people, or a
devaluing of desire itself, but that is not it. It is not freedom from desire but
freedom of desire that we are looking for – free to live in the love for which
we were created.

Importantly, this isn’t a negation of material things. It is not about

destruction, but transformation. When we yield our attachments we open

SURRENDER 39
ourselves to the possibility of interacting with them in a new, healthy and
holy way. The things of this world are not bad, they are just not meant to
be idols or snares to us. Things that have been corrupted can be made
new, if we submit them to God.

It is why Jesus spoke the way he did to the young man. He wanted to set
him free from the attachments that held him back, and so transform him
and his wealth into a blessing to the poor. His attachment to wealth was
standing in the way of his loving the poor and his loving God. Jesus, loving
him, wanted him to be liberated. But he could not surrender and so he
could not join Jesus in his way. He could not accept the possibility that
God’s love for him could outweigh his protection of himself. Poverty of
spirit means surrendering our self-defense and self-sabotage and trusting
that God’s love for us is enough.

ACTION
Is there anything you are holding onto – it could be material, or a
worldview, a bitterness, or a habit – that is holding you back from
following God? Wesley asks this question: “Am I a slave to dress, friends,
work, or habits?” If you can answer yes to this question, make a start on
surrendering today. If it is a material object, can you give it away? Or put it
away? If it is a worldview, bitterness or habit, can you name it and ask God
to break your attachment to it? Can you ask for the strength to commit to
surrendering these things and becoming free, no matter what it takes? Let
one other person know what you want to surrender and have them keep
you accountable by asking you how you did at the end of the day (and in
days to come).

PRAYER
Pray The Lord’s Prayer, considering each phrase as you pray it. Does
anything jump out to you today from the prayer? Think especially of the

40 INF INITUM
phrase “your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” How will you pay
attention to the will of the Lord today?

MID-DAY

Pray Psalm 25:1-11

Step 3 of the 12 Steps says: “We made a decision to turn our will and
our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”

The prayer associated with this step is this: “God, I offer myself to
You – to build with me and to do with me as You will. Relieve me of
the bondage of self, that I may better do Your will. Take away my
difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would
help of Your Power, Your Love, and You Way of Life.”

What do you find difficult to surrender? What excuses do you give

yourself to hold onto things, ideas, desires, fears, grudges, or sins
that you know you should let go of? Have you ever been able to
successfully let something go? What did that take?

Find a place to be still and silent for three minutes. Ask the Spirit to
meet you in your stillness and to show you what God wants you to
surrender, and to show you how much Jesus surrendered for you.

Use Psalm 70:1 as a help to recall your mind if it starts to wander.

Set a timer for three minutes, breathe deeply, and begin.

When the three minutes are up, pray Psalm 25:12-22.

SURRENDER 41
 EVENING

Read Matthew 4:1-11.

What were you called to surrender today? Was it easy, difficult

or impossible to do? Bring your day to the Father in prayer and
thanksgiving.

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 DAY 7

KINGDOM OF
HEAVEN

MORNING

REFLECTION
Read Phil 2:1-11

We can determine the weight of something by measuring the amount

of water it “displaces.” This is how huge warships are often measured.
We see this principle at work when we get into a full bathtub and
the water level is raised around us. The amount of water displaced
when we enter the ocean, however, is too small for us to notice any
difference.

The kingdom of heaven is vaster than any ocean, but there is an

impact when we enter in: all of heaven rejoices. If we want to talk about
“displacement” however, we need to look at what happens when the
kingdom of heaven enters us.

Rich Villodas says, “I wonder if the reason many in the church struggle
in our witness is because we haven’t preached repentance (or
repented) deep enough. We often preach behaviour modification, by
which we call people to live respectable lives. But repentance is the full
turning of ourselves to God.”

This involves laying down everything, every thought that we are self-
sufficient, every back-up comfort we carry, every secret sin, every
hope and scheme that is not grounded in Christ. It means admitting

SURRENDER 43
that we cannot do it ourselves and embracing our weakness. It requires
understanding that God is God and we are not, he is judge and we are
not, he is saviour and we are not. As hard as this is, it is also incredibly
liberating. It is the open door to the blessing of the poor in spirit. The
kingdom of heaven must displace whatever other kingdom we have
going on inside.

This does not mean our identity, personality, or individuality disappear.

In the strange (to us) kingdom economy, the more we are filled with
the Kingdom of heaven, the more “ourselves” we become. We actually
see this happen in the person of Jesus. Philippians 2:1-11 tells us that
Jesus made himself nothing, humbled himself and took on the nature
of a servant. And God exalted him to the highest place, giving him the
name of glory and honour. We are exhorted to have this very same
mindset. We give up our lives, yes, but in so doing we find our real life
in Christ Jesus. (Matt 16:25) This is getting at what it means to accept
the kingdom of heaven as a little child. (Matt 18-2-4) We get low, so
that God can raise us up high. I let go of the “Kingdom of Me” so I can
take hold of the “Kingdom of Heaven”.

ACTION
Read Matthew 8:18-22. Take some concrete steps to empty yourself
of unhelpful distractions, false comforts, and unhealthy attachments.
If it is a material object, bury it in the ground, throw it in the river, or
burn it in the fireplace. If it is a sin, habit or worldview, write it on a rock
and piece of paper and get rid of it. This may be surprisingly hard to do
as our attachments – the things we use to hide our chaos, numb our
pain, and direct our desires – tend to go very deep. So, enlist a friend
to help. Tell them what you are doing and ask them to join you. This is
simply to indicate that you want to be emptied of the things that are
not of the kingdom of God, so you can filled by the things that are.
Your action here may not end your struggle, but it shows (to yourself)
that you are serious and that you want to live in a way that is free, that
is motivated by love and not fear or habit.

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PRAYER
Pray The Lord’s Prayer, considering each phrase as you pray it. Does
anything jump out to you today from the prayer? Think especially of
the phrase “Thy kingdom come.” What might the kingdom coming into
your activities today look like? What might it cost you?

MID-DAY

Pray Psalm 145:1-16

“God gives where he sees empty hands.” St. Augustine

Where are your hands currently full? What are they full of? What would
it take to empty them? What do you think God wants to put in your
hands?

Find a place to be still and silent for three minutes. Ask the Spirit
to meet you in your stillness and to show you the presence of the
Kingdom of Heaven inside you and all around you.

Use Psalm 70:1 as a help to recall your mind if it starts to wander.

Set a timer for three minutes, breathe deeply, and begin.

When the three minutes are up, pray Psalm 145:17-21.

SURRENDER 45
 EVENING

Read Matthew 13:44-45

“In baptism nobody is invited to come up with their own personal

statement of belief. All are invited to be immersed into a reality beyond
themselves and to join their individual voices to a communal voice that
transcends them all. “ (Ben Myers, The Apostles’ Creed – Guide to
Ancient Catechism)

How have you begun the process of emptying your hands and being
immersed in the kingdom of heaven?

Take some time to write a reflection about this past week. What
stretched you? What did you learn? How will you continue to apply
the disciplines you explored this week? Were you totally honest with
yourself and others? Bring these reflections to share with your Infinitum
group.

Bring your day, and your week, to the Father in prayer and
thanksgiving.

46 INF INITUM