My Name:

1. GETTING STARTED

Why is Confidence & Self-Esteem important to you?

What do you see as the main benefits of a high confidence?

1
2. CONFIDENCE MEASUREMENT

Here, we are going to measure your confidence, to see how you will progress through the course.
However, as there is not a single measurement available that is without any flaws, we will fill out
a couple of them to get the most accurate picture as possible.

1. The Rosenberg's Self-Esteem Scale:

[Link]
My score on the scale is:

2. The Self-Compassion Test:

[Link]
My score on the scale is:

3. Self-Assessment: (Rate those 10 aspects from 1-10)

1. Situation: How much do you like the environment you are in?
2. Situation: To what extend to you accept uncontrollable factors?
3. Physical Influences: How would you rate your exercise routine?
4. Physical Influences: How accepting are you of your looks?
5. Feelings: To what extend do you treat yourself like your own best friend?
6. Feelings: To what extend do you focus outward (on others, your surroundings) vs. yourself?
7. Thoughts: How would you rate the quality of your thoughts?
8. Thoughts: How afraid are you of not being liked or rejected?
9. Behavior: How authentic are you around others?
10. Awareness: How well do you know yourself & accept the person you are?

2
3. INTRODUCTION

The course started by looking at the main framework I learned from Tiffany O’Meara while
enrolling in her “Building Social Confidence Group” at the University of California San Diego.

Your thoughts, your feelings, your physical aspects, and your behavior are constantly influencing
each other. Meaning, your confidence is not fixed, but depends on the situation you are in which
then starts the spiral. For instance, my cousin mentioned a very high confidence while playing table
tennis, translating to empowering thoughts, a strong body language, feeling great, and playing at
the top of his level. However, in another situation with someone that just criticized him, the spiral
turns around with him feeling upset, thinking he is not good enough, his head hanging slightly
down, and ultimately him behaving completely different than he did 30 minutes earlier playing
table tennis.

And when you look at your life, you can also notice entirely different thoughts, feelings, physical
aspects, and behaviors depending on the situation you are in. On the one hand, when in a highly
beneficial situation with somebody giving you a compliment or around a friend group where you
feel very comfortable, you are probably reporting a higher confidence than in a situation that is

3
very difficult to you. Obvious, yes, but that also means we can do something on every level to stop
the spiral from rolling down to a certain level, as well as to quickly spiral up again when need to.

Meaning, your lowest possible level of confidence & self-esteem can be increased to a new
baseline, creating a stable and authentic level of confidence. And even if you hit this lower bound,
there are things you can quickly do to spiral upwards again.

How? Well, once you reach a certain long-term goal of one of the main influences, let’s say your
Physical Acceptance, you can never spiral down to a certain low-point. So for instance, if two
different people get rejected from someone, both might feel upset and think about all the things
they did wrong. However, whereas one might spiral down even further and feel ashamed for how
he looks, the person that accepted how he looks (even if not fully and just to a tiny bit higher
extend), is not possible to reach the same low-point. Plus, if that same person also has a couple of
so-called “quick-boosts” up his sleeve (we will talk about this later), he will also stay much shorter
at this already higher low-point. In total there are 10 main long-term strategies that you can aim to
increase. Those all stem from all the great books and courses I went through in the last couple of
months. A big thanks to them for all the effort creating those products as well as to you for taking
ownership! 😊

4. MASTERING YOUR ENVIRONMENT

The key here is to understand that you can separate your environment in uncontrollable and
controllable factors.

4.1. Uncontrollable Factors

Starting with uncontrollable factors, it is crucial to be aware that the environment has a strong effect
on your confidence. Therefore, it often makes little sense to pull yourself down, as most of the
times it is simply a difficult situation leading to a low confidence.

Next it is crucial to accept this influence. Because us trying to resist a certain feeling makes it
persist much longer as it otherwise needs to. Yes, there is some part that you can control and take
ownership, and we will get into this later, but there will always be a certain part that is
uncontrollable. And there the best thing we can do is to accept this to the best of our abilities.

4
Because energy spent on something we have no control over, is energy wasted. However, as this
is very difficult to achieve, give yourself time and, you guessed it, accept that you will not always
be able to accept things outside your control.

Finally, with discomfort challenges you can significantly reduce the negative effect that the
uncontrollable factors can have on you in the first place. More on this in the Behavior section.

4.2. Controllable Factors

Coming to the controllable factors, we will focus on the two main things that you can put your
focus on to increase your confidence in social situations.

First, we talked about introversion and how people react more or less strongly to stimulating
situations (lot of people, new environments, challenging situation etc.). And as found in a big
research study, if you are an introvert this simply means that your amygdala reacts more strongly
to new stimuli than an extrovert that needs this constant stimulation. Meaning, if you are an
introvert, it is key to put yourself in the right environments (less stimulating). Plus, as outlined in
the book quiet, train yourself to be an extrovert in certain situations (again more on this in the
discomfort challenge) and then fall back again and going into a quiet environment to recharge.

5
It’s okay to be introverted, key is not to be afraid of the social situations and understand that you
simply react more strongly to highly stimulating environments.

Second we talked about the importance of having a clean immediate environment such as your
room. Waking up in a situation that looks great, gives you a positive boost every morning (or a
negative one if you don’t like where you are). Furthermore, there are even studies outlining that
low self-esteem is correlated with a messy home. I can’t find the study anyomore, but a bit about
this can be found in this blog article [Link]
and-high-self-esteem/

☐ I completed this sections actions step of cleaning my room.

5. MASTERING YOUR AWARENESS

The awareness can be separated into two parts. The awareness of how your feelings, thoughts etc.
are constantly influencing each other, as well as the awareness of who you are. As we already
covered the awareness of the situation, this part of the confidence book will only focus on the
second part. Being aware of who you are.

6
5.1. Self-Understanding & Self-Acceptance
Very interesting is that in the German language the main term we use to describe high confidence
is “selbstbewusstsein” which roughly translates to self-consciousness or self-understanding.
However, this part makes a lot of sense to me after going through all the literature, as a big part of
a high confidence is to accept who you are. And how can you accept something that you are not
even aware of? Plus, very interesting understanding yourself more deeply makes the acceptance
also a lot easier. For instance, when you are in a strong argument/discussion with a friend, it is
often very hard to accept the other person and we mentally turn against them. Nevertheless, when
resolving the fight, this often comes hand in hand with understanding why the other person did
what they did. And even when the action itself did not change, it is often much easier to accept this
as we understand it a bit deeper. And the same goes for yourself. The deeper you understand
yourself, the easier it is to accept yourself.

Therefore, this section is concerned with two steps. First increasing your level of self-
understanding: your strengths, your weaknesses, why you do what you do. And second, to accept
as much of what you see as possible.

5.2 Questions to get to know yourself

Take some time to understand yourself as fully as you can. A walk, quiet time, a weekend getaway,
and a cup of tea are all things that can help you.

What are your strengths?

7
What are your weaknesses?

What are things you are proud of?

What are things you are ashamed of?

What brings you most joy in life?

8
What exactly of those joyful things means the most to you?

What do you value most in friendships?

On a spectrum from preferring to stay in one place to wanting to constantly explore. Where do you
see yourself?

How would you spend your time if you had all the money you would ever need?

9
Do you prefer nature or cities?

Would you consider yourself an introvert, extrovert, or right in the middle?

How important is a clean environment to you?

How many close friends would be the optimal amount for you?

10
Why do you want to increase your self-esteem?

Are you expecting more than you appreciate?

Looking at the previous answers:

Why do you do what you do?

What things hurt you and why?

11
Why do you consider your previous mentioned weaknesses a weakness?

Why do you feel how you feel?

And Finally:
Can you accept the person you deep down are a bit more than previously?

And even if some of those things will never fully evolve/change. Can you be okay with this?

Can you be more okay to be imperfect in certain areas?

12
6. MASTERING YOUR BEHAVIOR

Turning to mastering your behavior, there are three crucial things we talked about. The discomfort
challenge, radical authenticity, and being proactive.

6.1. The Discomfort/Rejection Challenge

Starting with the discomfort challenge, a key insight for me was that a person high in confidence
& self-esteem to a big extend is okay to be in discomfort. As seen in the environment section, there
will always be things outside our control, and there will always be new situations where we will be
challenged. However, a person high in authentic confidence trained themselves to be okay in those
situations (often stemming from lifetime experience).

This process can be sped up, by consciously seeking discomfort and putting yourself in challenging
environments. And that’s why this course outlined the rejection challenge as well as the discomfort
challenge to help guide you in this process.

1. Write down things that you would feel uncomfortable doing (from just a bit uncomfortable
to very uncomfortable)
2. Categorize them into 5 categories. Easy, slightly uncomfortable, uncomfortable, very
uncomfortable, the most difficult one/the final day.
3. Start planning your discomfort challenge and start with the first day.
➢ For instance a 15-day discomfort challenge could look like this.
2 easy steps
4 slightly uncomfortable
5 uncomfortable
3 very uncomfortable
1 Final Action

This can also be used as a quick boost, by you starting the day very easy by greeting the people
you walk past, before moving on to more challenging situations of the day because this way the
next step up is much easier.

☐ I completed the rejection challenge and the discomfort challenge.

13
6.2 Radical Authenticity
A big part of a low self-worth comes from constant overthinking. What do others think of me? Do
they like me? Could I have said something differently? What should I say next?

That’s why its key to focus your attention outwards. Listen to others, try to deeply understand them,
aim to give more than you take, and send them thoughts of “loving kindness” as seen in the feeling
section. Nevertheless, moving away from overthinking can also be overcome by simply bringing
the full you to the world. Because if you are you, you also reduce constant thoughts of what to say
next and what others might think of you.

And please note that I said reduce. This is because I believe that thinking what others think of you
to a certain extend can be very healthy. It is just once we overvalue the opinion of others, that we
get into trouble.

☐ Try to fully be yourself for one day or one weekend.

6.3. Being proactive

This is very similar to the environment section. But as it is so important it is mentioned again in
the behavior section. And it is an idea from the book “7 habits of highly effective people”.

Take ownership of what you can control.

• If you have a bad Spanish teacher, you still have the power to spend extra time learning
somehow else to progress in Spanish.
• If you don’t like how you look, take ownership of the perception of yourself as well as of
your exercise routine, instead of blaming external circumstances.

Spend your time wisely and take ownership of the things you can control, and your confidence will
naturally increase.

14
7. MASTERING YOUR FEELINGS

Mastering your feelings, as mentioned in the course, is the section that I have mastered the least
myself. However, I am pretty sure that self-compassion, loving kindness, raw emotions, and
enjoying life are the key pillars to master your emotions in terms of confidence & self-esteem.

7.1.
7.1 Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is the idea from the author Kristin Neff to be unconditionally kind to yourself.
The way I see it, is mainly as treating yourself like your own best friend. To be more kind to
yourself in difficult times, but to still hold yourself accountable if you get too much out of lane
(Road lane assistance vs. autonomous car). According to the author, a key thing that can help is to
see the common suffering among all humans (no matter what you are going through there will
always be people in a very similar or worse situation) to stop the self-isolation and to make it easier
to bring kindness and compassion to yourself and others.

☐ Watch the introduction to self-compassion.

([Link]

15
7.2. Loving-Kindness
Moreover, loving kindness meditations are a great way to stop the suffering, by putting our
attention outwards and sending the best wished to other people. There is not only a rise in
depression right now, but also in narcissism. Therefore, a key to not fall into this trap is to accept
humanity as it is and to send each person your best wishes. A key that can help here are daily good
deeds as well as loving kindness meditations.

☐ Try a couple of loving kindness mediations on YouTube or any other meditation app.

7.3. Raw Emotions & Vulnerability

The third key to mastering your emotions is to notice your thoughts and letting yourself feel the
way you feel. It’s okay to feel upset for a couple of days even weeks, try to understand where it
comes from and then move to appreciation of what you already have in life (more on this in the
thoughts section). More than that, it is great to open up to people that earned your trust and share
your vulnerabilities with them. Just as the shame & vulnerability researcher Brené Brown said. The
only way to deal with darkness is to bring light to is (letting it be there, talking about it etc.)

☐ Watch the Vulnerability Ted Talk & share some vulnerabilities with someone you can trust.
[Link]

7.4. Enjoying Life

Finally, the course talked about enjoying Life. And from what I have found out in my research
about the topic as well as from my own experiences, is to balance short-term happiness with long-
term happiness. Short-term happiness are doing things right now for the sake of quick pleasure.
Going out to a restaurant, heading to a spa, meeting people etc. One key are also so-called gratitude
countdowns. You start at 10 and count down with things you are grateful for until you reached
zero. “10 - I am grateful that summer is coming soon. 9 - I am grateful I am putting effort in
increasing my confidence…” This works especially well when doing it with someone else.

16
However, if you exclusively focus on short-term happiness, you put at risk your long-term
happiness. When everything seems dull and boring, and you lack motivation due to all the short-
term pleasures (such as binging Netflix) it might be time for a dopamine detox. This video by
Niklas Christl shows this in a very nice way ([Link]
Once done, you can focuson long-term projects, and especially your relationships. In a study it was
found that the top 10% of the happiest people had only one thing in common. Strong social
relationships! (Diener, E., & Seligman, M. (2002). Very happy people. Psychological Science, 13, 81–84.).
This is also the reason all my upcoming YouTube videos and future courses will focus on mastering
your people skills 😊

8. MASTERING THE PHYSICAL ASPECTS

The Phyical aspects are great to quickly boost your confidence up (short-term). Furthermore,
regarding the long-term strategies there are two main aspects to look at. Your body’s worth in $
and Physical Acceptance.

8.1. Quick Boosts

Starting with the quick boosts there are 7 (+1 bonus that could also be put in the thoughts section)
we are going to look at.

17
1. The body map:
This idea was first introduced to me by a good friend called Johanna. It can also found in
NLP research (that is often criticized for being too pseudo-psychologic) Therefore, simply
try it out for yourself, because maybe it works for you and maybe it doesn’t (for me it does).
Every time you are feeling very happy, grateful, or present you can either strongly press
your fingers together or press the tongue against the top of the mouth (and physical
movement/sensation works). If done regularly, you can now do the same movement when
you are a bit anxious and need a quick boost to get out of the spiral. Nothing crazy, but
again we are talking about a quick boost and being a bit more present can sometimes make
all the difference. The reason this works, can be seen once we look at body language in
general. Very oversimplified, I know, but when we are confident we have an open body-
language and when we are less confidence we have a closed up body-language. Now if you
open up for some time, this will signal to your brain making you slightly more confident
even though all you changed was your body language. Same can go for “the body map”.

18
2. Confidence Playlist:
Most of us are strongly affected by music. So why not use this to our advantage and create
a playlist with songs that make us feel great. And whenever you need a quick boost, you
start the playlist, sing along, and dance when in an environment you feel comfortable doing
so.

3. Cold Showers:
One strategy suggested by Jimmy Narraine (another Udemy Instructor), is to start practicing
self-defense such as Martial Arts of Krav Maga. You get used to people getting very close
in your personal space, you exercise, and feel more confident in your ability to handle
dangerous situations. All great things to boost your confidence. A short-term variation of
this are cold showers as you also get used to uncomfortable things in your personal space.
Plus, it helps you to be very present in the moments (hard to things about other things during
a cold shower) and gives you a physical boost through the increased blood streams.

4. Short Exercise:
Great in combination with the cold showers are short workouts. Again, they get your blood
streams flowing, and were found to make you feel great through an increase in endorphins
which are linked to reducing stress.

5. Power Stances/Power Poses

Performing Power Stances such as the one seen on the left,

can also quickly boost your confidence and self-
assuredness to a tiny extend. There are a few more, outlined
in this Ted Blog [Link]
how-power-posing-can-work-to-boost-your-confidence/

19
 6. Breathing
Another nice way to quickly reduce stress, and relieve anxiety is breathing. Simply sit
down, pause, breath deeply and then continue what you were doing previously.

7. Incantations
Finally the course also talked about incantations. They don’t work for all, but for some they
are great. It’s an idea by Tony Robbins outlined in the following video.
[Link]

8. Combination
One of my favorite things to do is to combine those things when I am stressed, uncertain or
upset. I start working out (Boost 4) while putting on some great music (Boost 2). After I
head to the shower, put on the lowest temperature possible (Boost 3), and then meditate for
a few minutes (Boost 6). All of this does not take longer than 30min typically, but
afterwards I feel like it is a new day with me feeling completely different (to the better).
You can take this even an step further, with power poses (Boost 5) and a short incantation
(Boost 7) while standing in the shower. When you then also quickly press your tongue
against the top of the mouth (Boost 1) after the meditation, you actually combined all 7, to
a massive quick boost of the Physical Influences.

☐ Try them all out to find your favorite boosts.

8.2. Exercise
The first long-term strategy is exercise.

• You will feel great about yourself because it is like a little win every time you do it
• Was found to increase happiness and reduce stress
• Will help make you look better, making many situations easier (Unfortunately humans
have a tendency to treat people different depending on how they look)

And to help you get into the exercise routine I outlined the 1-minute rule (variation from some
strategies by the author James Clear). Start by exercising just 1 minute every day for the first couple
of days or even weeks (however long you need). The only goal is to keep the commitment and be

20
consistent. Skipping a day here and there is okay, just do not skip two days in a row (2-day rule by
Matt D’Avella). A habit tracker can help keep you accountable. And like I said in the course, 1
minute will not change much how you look, but you build the habit of showing up no matter what.
And instead of someone going all in for a few weeks and then breaking as the commitment was too
difficult, 1 minute is easy enough to prevent this. And once you feel confident in your ability to
stick to 2 minutes every day, increase your goal to that level. Followed by 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 7
minutes (There is a free app called 7 minute workout to mix things up once you are at this level),
10 minutes. Take as much time as you need to. Even if it takes 2 years to build the habit, this is
much better for your well-being and also your confidence then to try 6 times and keep failing to
reach your commitments.

8.3. Healthy Eating

As outlined in the course, your body’s worth is incredible. For how much would you sell your legs,
your hands, your sight? And if you calculate that total value together, it is incredible how valuable
your body is. However, if you would surprisingly win something very expensive and valuable to
you (a car for 500 thousand dollars), how would you treat that item? Probably very carefully, giving
the car only the best fuel available. And the same goes for your own body. Treat it for what it is
worth and give it the best fuel you can think of (the foods you eat).

8.4. Posture
The third long-term strategy is your posture, that is also related to higher confidence. If you are
interested in why this is so important, I would recommend the first chapter of the book “12 rules
for life” by Jordan B. Peterson.

8.5. Physical Acceptance

Finally, we also talked about Physical Acceptance as the ultimate strategy for mastering your
Physical Aspects. Similar to the awareness section, look at your body for what it is, and aim to
increase the acceptance just a tiny bit every time you look at it. A great way to achieve this is to go
to the sauna, as people with every body shape imaginable, comfortably walk around naked, and
you notice that it does not really matter as much how you look, in turn increasing your acceptance.
Plus, it is like a day in the discomfort challenge, if you have never been naked around strangers.

21
9. MASTERING YOUR THOUGHTS

Turning to mastering your thoughts, there

9.1. Belief Busting

An easy metaphor to understand why beliefs are so hard to change, is if you look at it in terms of
a forest. “Everything you say either plants a seed of greatness or a seed of failure”. And even
though not all those seeds start growing, if the majority of the daily thoughts are seeds of failure,
you will create strong roots for a couple of plants as well as some trees that seem impossible to
move. However, there are two main ways to bring certain trees down that are rotten and slowly
infect the entire forest.

The first is with a big storm, bringing almost everything down. Mid-life crises, the end of a long
relationship, and personal transformations all fall into this category. However, you can also do this
in a more strategic way (with less emotional drama) and only bring down the rotten trees and plants
without having to destroy the entire forest.

1. You identify the main beliefs holding you back. Some are very obvious and others more
subtle. Start with the obvious ones and discover the rest with deep reflection as well as with
feedback from others. A great way to receive meaningful feedback, I read in the book from
Gilbert Eijkelenboom which is called the keep-stop-start technique. Ask for two things you
should keep doing (positive behavior), stop doing, and start doing (things you are currently
not doing, but implementing them could have a that great impact). Doing so will help you
discover some of the previous unknown rotten trees, so-called blind spots.

2. Outline the main roots of those trees. For instance, if you believe that you are not good
enough, the roots could be because you think you don’t look good, people don’t like you,
are bad in your job, and often waste your time. I would advice to start with more specific
beliefs than “you are not good enough”, as this probably is the biggest rotten tree for most
people and can best be taken down by starting with more specific beliefs such as people
don’t like me and I am not attractive.

22
3. Now comes the time to dig up the soil. In my opinion, this can best be achieved with a 5-
step process, coming from the combined insights of a Masterclass by RuPaul and a
Workshop by Tony Robbins.
i. Identify where the belief and the roots come from. Did many people actually tell
you that you don’t look good or did you make this assumption yourself? To what
extend does the belief stem from other people and to what extend from yourself?
ii. Going a bit deeper into this. Do you have all the information available to have those
beliefs? Or is there just a slight chance that all of those could be a misinterpretation?
Could some of those beliefs even be completely wrong and have nothing to do with
reality?
iii. What are the consequences of those beliefs & roots? How do they negatively impact
your life?
iv. What would your life look like without this belief? What would be the main benefits
of taking down the tree?
v. Go even deeper and challenge all those roots. Look at the negative impact, the fact
that they could be a complete misinterpretation, the benefits without this belief, and
the fact that this belief probably stems to a big extend from your interpretations.

23
 4. Go through this process a couple of times to take out every single root. Also talk to other
people about your assumptions, to see which ones have nothing to do with reality. Do
everything in your ability to challenge the roots, dig up the soil, and let them go. The meta
scripting method can also help to achieve this. It is more “male oriented” which I am not a
big fan of, but if you look at the method by itself and do not focus on the examples and
language of the document too much, it can also help you a lot in the process. Maybe also
use another email if you do not want to be subscribed to his newsletter.
[Link] If you struggle more deeply,
also consider reaching out to a Psychologists. It’s a great way to identify your roots, and
deal with them in a healthy manner.

5. At the same time to step 4, give your best to plant seeds of greatness. Write down the roots
for the opposite belief. For instance, people don’t like me turns to people like me because…
Write down all the reasons you believe in this aspect. Again, you can go for a walk with a
friend and together aim to outline all the reasons that make you likable. Plant and water
those seeds regularly, by writing them down ever so often and thinking about the reasons
again from time to time. And if you catch yourself thinking about the old roots, don’t
despair. You build certain belief habits over the years. It is okay if they creep up sometimes.
Plus, it is about the majority of the seeds you plant. So if you just take care of the balance,
you should be good to go.

9.2. Belief Building

Regarding Belief Building we mainly talked about the book called “Four Agreements”. If we look
at how beliefs are built that have little to do with reality and pull us down there is a pattern to be
seen. We go to an event and we see someone looking at us in a critical way. Now we might start
wondering if we look weird or did something wrong. Look at the pattern. We make an assumption
(critical look, they do not like us), we take it personal (the look is directed at me), and then over
time start believing certain things. However, what if the person was just thinking about something
they are upset about and just generally glanced in our direction. Very interesting, is that most of us
actually tend to directly think this is directed towards us even though most times it has nothing to
do with us. Moreover, we then start making assumptions that also have little to do with reality. For
instance, this person does not like me. Let’s look at how accurate this particular belief is:

24
9.2.1 On not being liked
Let’s start with your own perspective. How many people do you actually strongly dislike (hate
even). No one? One person? Three people? More than that? Very likely, you will see that there will
be very few people, and most other people fall into the indifferent category or the liking category.
However, many people (incl. me for a very long time), believe that most people either like or dislike
us. So when they critically look at us, even though they very likely see us as indifferent (neither
bad nor good), we wrongly assume they do not like us. And even though being indifferent still does
not feel great, it is very far away from being disliked.

Plus there are only three possible reasons if you strongly dislike a person:

1. This person did something directly bad against you or someone you care for (bullying etc.).
2. They live in a way that strongly goes against your main values (You value honesty, but they
consistently lie; You value inclusion, but they exclude certain groups; You value
community, but they only focus on themselves).
3. Something feels very off about that person (Their behavior does not seem to match their
intentions)

So now, being liked becomes very easy.

➢ If you did something bad, apologize sincerely

➢ Live according to your values. If someone does not like you, you two simply
developed different value systems growing up that clash against each other. For
instance, one values strength and the other inclusion and soft kindness which seems
weak for the strength person.
➢ Live according to your values authentically. When something feels off about
someone, they typically are inauthentic.

9.2.2 The Four Agreements:

Summarized, this means that to build strong beliefs, you have to do the following below.

➢ Take things impersonally (most people mainly think about themselves)

➢ Stop making assumptions and check them if needed
➢ Remember every word either plants a seed of greatness or a seed of failure
➢ Simply give your best

25
9.3. Appreciation > Expectation
The final long-term strategy is to appreciate more than you expect. If you are at 75% and
25% percent is missing, appreciate more than you expect as you are at 75% vs 25%.

And if you look at disappointments in general, it is always when you expected a lot. And
if you look at happiness, it is always when you are very grateful for the current moment or
situation.

So what do you choose? Appreciation of Expectation.

It is a daily practice and takes time, but if you start practicing the right choice now, you are
sure to get there eventually.

10. SUMMARY

As outlined previously, there are short-term “quick boosts” to help you quickly spiral up again, as
well as long-term strategies to make sure your lower-bound level of confidence can never go lower
than your new baseline. Those 10 key aspects are summarized in the graphic below.

26
Below are all the “quick boosts” summarized that we talked about during the course.

• Physical:

Body Map
Confidence Playlist & Dance
Cold Shower
Mini Exercise
Power Stances
Breathing
Incantations
Gorilla Walk

• Feelings:
FACE technique
Loving kindness meditation (10min)
Mini Loving kindness meditation (while talking to people)
Self-Hugs
Be Vulnerable to a Friend
Self-Gratitude
Gratitude
Focusing on short-term happiness

• Thoughts:

I am proud list
Celebrate wins
Reframe situation
Correct daily goal setting (3-2-1 technique)

• Behavior
Start with small steps (saying hello to people you walk by)
Give to others
Treat yourself day

• Environment
Clean room
Go to a different environment to get some time off

• Awareness
Meditation scan
Aware of shocks

27
CONGRATULATIONS

If you reached this part, went through the course and slightly grew in just some of the long-term
strategies, it’s time to celebrate your first victories. Remember, most of the time 80-85% is enough
and if you don’t think you reached that level simply focus on the 10 long-term strategies to reach
your desired goal.

Just three more things before you finish this confidence book.

1. Use the section below to record your key insights from each section as well as your favorite
short-term and long-term strategies.
2. Measure your confidence again (section 2) to see how much you progressed.
3. Take a day off to celebrate and do something to treat yourself.

Let me know how you progressed through this course, because my main goal is to give value to
others and this is the only way I can find out about your victories.
All the best,
Jakob 😊

28
YOUR MAIN INSIGHTS

Use this section to record your main insights of each section. We will cover a lot, so it’s great to
note down the things that worked best for you.

Main Insights Situation/Environment

Main Insights Physical Influences:

29
Main Insights Behavior

Main Insights Thoughts

Main Insights Feelings

30
Main Insights Awareness

31
My Favorite Short-Term & Long-Term Strategies

Short-Term Long-Term

32
33