The
Fat person’s
Guide to
Getting Pregnant
The Fat Person’s guide to getting pregnant
I’m sure you’ve been told time and time again that you need to lose weight
in order to get pregnant.
It’s been drummed into you since you were little that you need to be slim
and pretty to get what you want in life - the perfect partner, the perfect
career and the perfect family.
The problem is that it’s a load of crap and this idea that you need to be x
yourself somehow in order to be worthy is just plain wrong.
If you think you need to lose weight to get pregnant, you may waste all your
energy dieting instead of taking meaningful steps towards supporting your
body.
It also fuels the negative relationship you already have with your body.
You’ve been trying to lose weight your whole life so how the hell is it going
to be any easier now?
And if you’ve been trying to lose weight but can’t? Does that mean that you
are a terrible person because you can’t do this “simple” thing to get the most
important thing in the world to you?
In this guide, I’m going to share with you three steps you can take to begin
to unravel the fucked up way we see our fat bodies when we are trying to
get pregnant.
I’m here to support you, not dictate to you.
Take what works for you and ignore the rest.
This is your body, you get the make the
decisions for it, not me, not your doctor, not
your family and certainly not a random person
on the internet shaming you for the decisions
you are making around your health.
If you are struggling with this, I’d love to support you. Email me at
[email protected] or nd me on instagram @fatpositivefertility
Love from Nicola | nicolasalmon.co.uk
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The Fat Person’s guide to getting pregnant
Throw away the scales
Drastic, I know. And I know exactly what you’re thinking…..
“If I don’t weigh myself then my weight is just going to get out of control”
The scale is not your friend. This one number dictates whether you have a
good day or a bad day and that is not ok.
You are more than a number. Your worth is not measured in kg or stone.
Right now, at exactly this weight (not in a couple of pounds!) you are worthy
of becoming a parent.
We’ve been taught that somehow the scales can tell us if we’ve been a
good person or a bad person, if we need to punish our body with exercise or
if we can treat ourselves to a cake.
You don’t need to know how much you weigh to be happy and healthy.
Nothing bad is going to happen if you aren’t checking that number daily.
If this idea scares you, start where you are. Try not weighing yourself for a
week or a month.
The how
- Throw the scales away. I mean literally. I smashed my scales on the
ground and never looked back.
- Find a meaningful way to support your health. Instead of having a goal
weight, pick a di erent way to look at your health. This could be around
movement, food, habits or lifestyle.
Here are some examples
- Take a walk
- Drink more water if you are dehydrated
- Eat an extra portion of fruit or veg per day
- Schedule some time for rest
- Prioritise time for your interests and hobbies
Love from Nicola | nicolasalmon.co.uk
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The Fat Person’s guide to getting pregnant
Nourish not punish
For so much of my life, I used food and exercise as a punishment for being
fat.
I ate food that was restrictive (dieting 101) or binge ate a whole tub of Ben
and Jerry’s. Each being a punishment of some form. I never ate what I
wanted to when I was physically hungry.
Anytime that I tried to exercise, it was from a place of punishing my body for
the food I’d eaten or the fat that had accumulated around my middle.
Let’s just say it was all punishing and no nourishing for a long time and I
hated my body with a passion.
It all changed when I changed my intention around my actions. I now choose
the food and movement that will nourish my body and I make a conscious
choice that I’m taking care of my body with each decision I make.
Do I make the perfect choices every time? No! But part of nourishing myself
is being kind to myself when things aren’t perfect.
The how
- Begin with getting clear on your intention. With each action, what is your
intention? Why are you eating this food? Why are you moving your body?
Why are you making this choice?
- Once you have started to ask why, begin to look for the patterns. What
keeps coming up and where do these things come from? For example, if
you have a pattern of emotional eating, what are the triggers?
- Tracking these patterns can help you unravel what is going on and help
you decide what you want to be doing instead. Grab yourself a journal and
begin to uncover what you are doing from a place of nourishment and
what is happening from a place of punishment. Getting curious and being
kind to yourself is the key.
Love from Nicola | nicolasalmon.co.uk
The Fat Person’s guide to getting pregnant
Look after your mental health
Your mental health is an important and often overlooked aspect to this
journey. When you are constantly beating yourself up about your weight, it’s
easy to fall into a negative and stressful spiral, believing that you will never
become a parent and that it’s all your fault.
Spending a little time everyday focusing on your thoughts, feelings and
beliefs is a really useful way to being to give your mind the attention it
deserves. Mental health is a huge topic so take baby steps and if you are
struggling, please do seek support from a healthcare professional.
The how
- Unfollow any social media accounts that make you feel less worthy, bad
about your body or make you feel crap in any way.
- Start to notice the thoughts that are on an endless loop in your head and
at the end of every day, spend 5 minutes writing them down. What
negative thoughts do you have on repeat? What are you saying to yourself
about your body on a daily basis? What are you telling yourself about your
fertility and your ability to get pregnant each day?
- Once you have spent a few days/weeks actively noticing your thoughts,
try this! Remember, tracking your thoughts can be tricky, it’s impossible to
watch them 24/7 so do it when you remember and keep it up even if you
think you aren’t doing it enough.
Every time you notice yourself experiencing a negative thought, in
your head say “STOP, that’s not useful” and try reversing it.
Eg If you spotted the thought “Why does my tummy look so fat in
these trousers? Say “STOP, that’s not useful. My tummy looks like a tummy
in these trousers”
It may feel impossible to catch these thoughts and you may not
believe what you tell yourself, but we are building a new habit and the
more you do this, the stronger this habit will become.
Love from Nicola | nicolasalmon.co.uk
The Fat Person’s guide to getting pregnant
About Nicola
Nicola is the leading voice for fat folks seeking fertility
support, bringing a unique fat-positive perspective to
her work as a fertility coach and author of the
groundbreaking book "Fat and Fertile
She is a prominent gure in the world of fat activism,
using her platform and expertise to challenge the
weight bias and stigmas that exist within the fertility
industry and empower those who are often
marginalised to take control of their reproductive health
with con dence and self-assurance.
Through her innovative and evidence-based approach,
she helps clients nd their own path to wellness, free
from diets and body shaming, and encourages them to
trust and believe in their ability to conceive. With her
expert guidance and compassionate support, Nicola is
changing the way people approach fertility.
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Love from Nicola | nicolasalmon.co.uk
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