Developing
Soft Skills and Personality Week 3
Module 1
Lecture 13
Professor T. Ravichandran
Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur
Why should you regulate stress?
For strengthening yourself and remaining cheerful
For completing jobs in time and create time for new jobs or just
relax with family or friends.
When you regulate, you govern, moderate, control and give
direction to stress.
Highlights Developing personal health habits, staying fit, eating in time, and
of the sleeping well at night are important.
Being mindful in whatever you do, and working with a plan and
Last Lecture taking frequent breaks from your work.
Concluded with some simple tips for quick relief from stress such
as taking a cold or hot shower, talking to a friend, walking in a
natural setting, listening to favourite/soothing music, deep
breathing, watching a favourite movie, reading a favourite novel,
or pages from motivating book, going to a temple, shopping in a
mall, eating your favourite food and laughing.
HABITS
????
What does habit mean to you?
For most people, habit is something they do normally,
spontaneously, regularly, without paying attention, without
thinking or bothering about it . . .
Habit--
Presumptions They think that they can form a habit as well as break it
easily.
Presume that breaking can be done as and when they want
it.
It’s easy to form bad habits
It’s difficult to form good
habits
Habits: Reality It’s difficult to break bad
habits
Habits are behavioural
responses to stimuli. They are easily formed, and
Frequent repetitions can make
these responses form they die hard!
behavioural patterns and
function automatically.
Guiding Principles:
1. Bad habits do not need great
How do you know efforts, will power and motivation
either to form or maintain. (eating
what are good and junk food)
bad habits? 2. Often you want to hide your bad
habits from others. You feel
embarrassed or guilty once someone
knows about it. (addictions, stealing)
3. But . . . There’s no way you can hide
any bad habit in the long run. It shows
on your health. Your body language
reveals it.
(smoking, not sleeping at night)
Good habits are very difficult to form!
Bad habits are very easy to form!
Identifying
Bad Habits
Story: Nails on the Wall
.
4. Bad habits leave an
indelible mark.
Developing
Soft Skills and Personality
Week 3
Module 2
Lecture 14
Professor T. Ravichandran
Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur
Habits and some presumptions associated with it
Such as you can form and change them easily.
Not all habits are easily formed; especially the good
ones!
Most of our habits are unconscious behavioural
Highlights responses to external stimuli.
of the Guiding principles to identify good and bad habits.
Last Lecture Bad habits, even changed, will still leave an indelible
mark on your character.
Story of the nail on the wall.
Story:
The Patient
The Lesson
5. Both good habits and bad habits are formed by peer
group influence and/or environment.
But much depends on the individual perception and belief
to retain a good habit or to change a bad habit.
Guiding Principle: 6. Good/Bad Habit
Bad habits give immediate
satisfaction/gratification but results in poor long
term results.
Good habits do not give instant gratification but
benefits with rich dividends in the long run.
Bad Good
Getting up early
Sleeping late night Doing it in time
Delaying Maintaining fitness and
Disinterest in health and keeping the surroundings
clean
The Good, the hygiene
Says only good things about
Bad and the Gossiping, criticising others others; develops self
Any excessive, addictive Enjoys things in moderation;
UGLY? habits (drinking, drugs) avoids harmful ones
Whiles away time in watching Uses time discreetly
TV, surfing the net Eats in time, healthy food
Eats untimed, junk food Being honest and
Stealing things trustworthy
Just Another Story!
The Mother Who Loved Her Son So Much!
The Lesson: Nip it in the Bud!
7. Forming bad habits are dangerous and
extremely harmful.
Therefore, it is better to nip a bad habit
in the bud itself!
Developing
Soft Skills and Personality Week 3
Module 3
Lecture 15
Professor T. Ravichandran
Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur
The Doctor and the Patient
Both good habits and bad habits are formed by peer group
influence and/or environment.
Highlights But much depends on the individual perception and belief to
of the retain a good habit or to change a bad habit.
The Mother Who Loved Her Son So Much!
Last Lecture
Forming bad habits are dangerous and extremely harmful.
Therefore, it is better to nip a bad habit in the bud itself!
Everything is habit . . .
Hard work is a habit; so is laziness/indolence
Perseverance is a habit; so is giving up
Success is a habit; so is failure
Excellence is a habit; so is mediocrity
Choosing to form good habits is a habit; so is choosing to form bad
habits!
Make the choice carefully!
The Habit Cycle
Thought/Stimulus
Success/Failure Action/Reaction
Reward/Punishment
Action/Reaction
Habit
Character/Personality Formation/Reinforcement
The decision to
change . . .
R. K. Narayan’s The Guide
Developing
Soft Skills and Personality Week 3
Module 4
Lecture 16
Professor T. Ravichandran
Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur
Discussed about the importance of forming good habits
because everything we do happens to be part of our
habit formation. (Getting up in the bed to going back to it).
Habit Cycle: Thoughts/Stimulus—Action/Reaction—
Reward/Punishment—Habit formation—
Character/Personality—Action/Reaction—
Success/Failure
Highlights
The Decision to Change: Raju’s decision (in R. K.
of the Narayan’s Guide) to change from a sinner to a martyr
and saint.
Last Lecture
The Lessons:
Circumstance do not make a man; it reveals him.
Writers like William Golding asserts that “The Beast is
within us.” But R. K. Narayan implies that “The God is
also within us.”
Conclusion: The ability to form bad habits as well as
good habits lies within us.
Why is that some are able to
change their habits in a
lightning second and others
are not able to do in ages?
The answer lies in . . .
Their level of self-awareness; knowing what is really good and bad for them.
Perceiving correctly that a bad habit is really harmful despite its short gains
or rewards.
Most of the rewards are linked with Dopamine.
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter of human brain that is linked with
motivation and reward. It is a chemical that induces pleasure. It gets released
every time you feel joyful about something you have done—good or bad!
The answer lies in . . . Dopamine!
It plays a crucial role in forming addictive habits. Certain drugs stimulate its
production, leading to high levels of activity causing ecstasy. Since its leaving
causes depression or slowing down of energy, the brain quickly learns to seek
out drugs that will stimulate production, leading to addiction.
While Dopamine seeks those activities that gives you pleasure, it also motivates
you to avoid unpleasant experiences.
Thus, bad habits are usually formed in those circumstances where it is easy to
seek pleasure by which you are also able to avoid painful or disagreeable
experiences—at least for that time being!
Countering Dopamine
It’s difficult but not impossible . . .
Accepting that sad and depressive times are part of our lives. There are
normal and are required to experience the happiness of best times.
Agony if it precedes, intensifies the experience of ecstasy that comes later.
Auto telling our brain that it’s okay to be unhappy because you want to
experience happiness.
Reinforcing in the mind that you will stay calm and cool despite testing
moments.
Visualizing a fulfilling and meaningful life for the future.
Unhappiness out of emotional break-ups
The Zeigarnik Effect: Bluma Zeigarnik (1900–1988), the Russian
psychologist, first described the Zeigarnik effect in her 1927
doctoral thesis.
Psychwiki.com: The Zeigarnik Effect is the tendency to experience
intrusive thoughts about an objective that was once pursued and
left incomplete. The automatic system signals the conscious mind,
which may be focused on new goals, that a previous activity was
left incomplete. It seems to be human nature to finish what we
start and, if it is not finished, we experience dissonance.
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Unhappiness out of emotional break-ups
The Zeigarnik Effect highlights a compulsive Need to Complete.
Need to complete a task once it has been initiated.
Incompletion of it leads to intrusive thoughts in the brain, which can
stop only when the person returns to complete the task.
Uncompleted tasks will stay on your mind until you finish them!
That’s the reason why emotional break-ups are causes for long-time
unhappiness!
Dealing with Emotional Break-Ups: The Dopamine Way!
Mind treats an emotional break-up as an uncompleted task as so many
activities were planned with a particular partner till the end of one’s life
and career.
That’s the reason why it’s difficult for many to come out of emotional
break-ups!
But the only solution is to give it a symbolic completion: literally burning
or burying any remnants (photos, letters, messages, etc.). The brain needs
to register this message of completion to move forward uninterruptedly
and peacefully.
Dealing with Emotional Break-Ups: The Dopamine Way!
Developing
Soft Skills and Personality Week 3
Module 5
Lecture 17
Professor T. Ravichandran
Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur
Why is that some are able to change their habits in a lightning second and
others are not able to do in ages?
The answer lies in . . .
Their level of self-awareness; correct perceptions of reality, and using
Dopamine in a constructive manner.
It plays a crucial role in forming addictive habits.
Highlights Bad habits are usually formed in those circumstances where it is easy to seek
of the pleasure by which you are also able to avoid painful or disagreeable
experiences—at least for that time being!
Last Lecture The Zeigarnik Effect highlights a compulsive Need to Complete.
Emotional break-ups leave lots of incomplete tasks, hence, the dissonance.
New goals: keeping fit or trying creative writing. This will release a new set of
Dopamine every time a goal is achieved.
Reminding of the bad things the other person did for you will help minimise the
dopamine craving for the lost idyllic times and euphoric moments!
Using the Zeigarnik Effect for productivity
and personal growth.
Since unfinished activity gives anxiety, it is important to focus on an activity
and stick to it till its completion.
If you start it, finish it. Don’t leave it in between. This is an important growth
habit you need to inculcate in your personality!
Because finishing it gives you a sense of completion, utmost satisfaction, and
blissfulness and peace of mind.
When move from one finished task to another, your confidence level will
increase and you will be devoid of any anxiety.
This knowledge also helps in beating procrastination: you realize that it is just
the starting trouble, once you start somehow, you will finish it anyhow!
Using the Zeigarnik Effect for productivity and personal growth
Brain needs to complete the cycle of an activity that we have started. So if you want to
free the brain from addictive habits, you need not pattern any uncompleted task in it.
Unfinished tasks use large amount of mental resources by occupying and blocking
premium space but refusing to go away until you finish it.
For this reason, you should stop watching any tele-serials if you want to free your mind
from a chain of incomplete activities.
The brain forms addictive behaviour such as compulsive TV serial watching till it receives
the information that the whodunit is known and that the serial will not be continued
anymore in the next week or the week after!
Same thing happens while playing video games; they take you to a near level of closure
but never let you reach it, by making you stick to it and get addicted perennially.
Using the Zeigarnik Effect for productivity and personal growth
Used constructively, ZE can give you the motivation to make you leave from
sick bed and complete the task at hand (as great artists have always done).
Simple example: ear worms: songs that stick to your mind till you completely
sing it or hear it!
Brain is immersed in something that does not let you focus on task at hand.
Internalisation of the Zeigarnik Effect can give you the much needed intrinsic
motivation to achieve or excel in any activity.
You can rewire your brain to seek completions, as it takes you to resolution of
tension and adds to the feel-good factor.
This above all, to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
-Shakespeare
Developing
Soft Skills and Personality Week 3
Module 5
Lecture 17
Professor T. Ravichandran
Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur
Why is that some are able to change their habits in a lightning second and
others are not able to do in ages?
The answer lies in . . .
Their level of self-awareness; correct perceptions of reality, and using
Dopamine in a constructive manner.
It plays a crucial role in forming addictive habits.
Highlights Bad habits are usually formed in those circumstances where it is easy to seek
of the pleasure by which you are also able to avoid painful or disagreeable
experiences—at least for that time being!
Last Lecture The Zeigarnik Effect highlights a compulsive Need to Complete.
Emotional break-ups leave lots of incomplete tasks, hence, the dissonance.
New goals: keeping fit or trying creative writing. This will release a new set of
Dopamine every time a goal is achieved.
Reminding of the bad things the other person did for you will help minimise the
dopamine craving for the lost idyllic times and euphoric moments!
Using the Zeigarnik Effect for productivity
and personal growth.
Since unfinished activity gives anxiety, it is important to focus on an activity
and stick to it till its completion.
If you start it, finish it. Don’t leave it in between. This is an important growth
habit you need to inculcate in your personality!
Because finishing it gives you a sense of completion, utmost satisfaction, and
blissfulness and peace of mind.
When move from one finished task to another, your confidence level will
increase and you will be devoid of any anxiety.
This knowledge also helps in beating procrastination: you realize that it is just
the starting trouble, once you start somehow, you will finish it anyhow!
Using the Zeigarnik Effect for productivity and personal growth
Brain needs to complete the cycle of an activity that we have started. So if you want to
free the brain from addictive habits, you need not pattern any uncompleted task in it.
Unfinished tasks use large amount of mental resources by occupying and blocking
premium space but refusing to go away until you finish it.
For this reason, you should stop watching any tele-serials if you want to free your mind
from a chain of incomplete activities.
The brain forms addictive behaviour such as compulsive TV serial watching till it receives
the information that the whodunit is known and that the serial will not be continued
anymore in the next week or the week after!
Same thing happens while playing video games; they take you to a near level of closure
but never let you reach it, by making you stick to it and get addicted perennially.
Using the Zeigarnik Effect for productivity and personal growth
Used constructively, ZE can give you the motivation to make you leave from
sick bed and complete the task at hand (as great artists have always done).
Simple example: ear worms: songs that stick to your mind till you completely
sing it or hear it!
Brain is immersed in something that does not let you focus on task at hand.
Internalisation of the Zeigarnik Effect can give you the much needed intrinsic
motivation to achieve or excel in any activity.
You can rewire your brain to seek completions, as it takes you to resolution of
tension and adds to the feel-good factor.
This above all, to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
-Shakespeare
Developing
Soft Skills and Personality Week 3
Module 6
Lecture 18
Professor T. Ravichandran
Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur
Using the Zeigarnik Effect for productivity and personal growth.
Since unfinished activity gives anxiety, it is important to focus on an
activity and stick to it till its completion.
If you start it, finish it. Don’t leave it in between. This is an important
growth habit you need to inculcate in your personality!
This knowledge also helps in beating procrastination: you realize that it
is just the starting trouble, once you start somehow, you will finish it
Highlights anyhow!
of the Unfinished tasks use large amount of mental resources by occupying
Last Lecture and blocking premium space but refusing to go away until you finish it.
That’s why you should stop watching television-serials or any serialised
programme.
Video games use the same principle to give addiction to its players.
Internalisation of the Zeigarnik Effect can give you the much needed
intrinsic motivation to achieve or excel in any activity.
You can rewire your brain to seek completions, as it takes you to
resolution of tension and adds to the feel-good factor.
Process involves a rewiring of the brain and reconfiguring the
habit-chain loop. Brain does not know how to differentiate the
good from the bad habit.
Stop the way you started it—in tiny bits.
Alcoholic addiction starts with the first sip that was repulsive to
Breaking Bad taste and body.
Habits Similarly, your first attempt in changing a bad habit has to start
in a tiny bit and then gradually increase.
The frequency of use has to reduce.
Bad habits generally don’t disappear for ever. So are good
habits. It’s like the hidden six-pack beneath a fat tommy!
Replacing a bad habit with a good habit
Reinforcing the good habit in testing times.
You procrastinate when you are overwhelmed to see a big task.
As the saying goes, “You eat an elephant, bit by bit.” Divide
huge tasks into manageable chunks. Brain releases dopamine
Breaking Bad every time you complete a part and energises you to take the
next part.
Habits Energy level sinks when you can’t see the finish line. Adrenaline
pumps in when you can see it!
Most bad habits are formed because of a negative emotional
state such as boredom, frustration or depression. So counter
lethargy by activity. Keep yourself busy and overloaded in
various aspects of your life and career.
You need develop good habits by keep one more Guiding Principle
in mind: KEEP YOUR BRIAN LIGHT AND FREE
To keep your brain light and free, you need to shed lot of excess
fatty content that it might have developed from bad habits.
Hence, practice good habits that will free your brain and mind
Developing such as:
Good Habits 1. Not leaving any task uncompleted. Any task left unattended
will keep interrupting you till you get back to it and finish it.
2. If you refuse to finish it, it will hang heavy in your brain causing
you less space for focussing and concentrating on new activities.
3. Reading a serialised novel, or watching a tele-serial is likely to
wire you into the habit of becoming serial-addicts.
Go hand in hand
Good habits determine your level of efficiency and gain you lots of
love and respect from your boss and colleagues.
They make you indispensable and irreplaceable, which would give
you the ultimate sense of job security and satisfaction.
Good Habits
Some habits of highly successful people worth inculcating in you:
and Success 1. Be extremely hard working
2. Do the extra work with a smile, even if you don’t get paid.
3. Never look at your watch and work.
4. Work till you complete, so that your mind stays calm
and you can sleep peacefully each night.
5. Focus on the most important goal
Good Habits
6. Never spend more time on something that can be
and Success completely avoided!
7. Concentrate 100%, you will finish it faster than the
rest!
You can live a life that truly works and you can achieve peak
performance in all areas of your life.
You can not only survive life’s unexpected changes and transitions but
also thrive.
Powerful change is possible.
You are fully capable of creating a life that you choose.
Shelley Stile, “Conscious Living - The Key To Positive And Lasting Change.”
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