FALL OUT OF LOVE
Revelation 2:1-7 NCV
If you have ever been in love, you know what first love is. It is honeymoon love. You have strong feelings. You cannot
stop thinking about that person. You always want to be together. You talk all the time. You do everything together. You
do whatever it takes to be together. You do whatever it takes to make your love smile. You are on a high from which you
never want to come down. But in marriage, romance can become routine. Life happens. The fire that consumed the
romance becomes a chill that freezes the relationship.
Imagine a husband says to his wife, “I don’t love you anymore. But nothing will change. I’ll still earn a living, sleep with
you, and father your children. I just don’t love you anymore. To abandon your first love is to say, “Lord, I don’t love you
like I once did. But I’ll still come to church. I’ll sing, pray, and give. I just don’t love you.”
This is what happened in the church at Ephesus. They forsook their devotion to Christ. All they had left was headless
morality, empty religion. It can happen to you! Has it happened to you? If there was a time when you loved Jesus more
than you do now, you have abandoned your first love.
WHY WE FALL OUT?
(1) GOD’S LOVE IS UNCOMFORTABLE
Romans 11:33 NCV Yes, God’s riches are very great, and his wisdom and knowledge have no end! No one can explain the
things God decides or understand his ways.
God pursues us with this wonderful, miraculous love. Then he moves in and begins turning everything upside-down and
inside out. He wants us to share everything with him. He wants us to talk to him. He wants us to consult him about all
our decisions. He’s always there, aware of everything. And he wants us to give him our all.
That kind of love – true love – isn’t all that comfortable. It doesn’t always feel miraculous. It doesn’t always feel easy or
cozy. In fact, the love of God doesn’t feel all that miraculous when he’s busy rearranging my entire life.
(2) WE GET USED TO GOD’S LOVE
Matthew 13:54-55 NCV He went to his hometown and taught the people in the synagogue, and they were amazed.
They said, “Where did this man get this wisdom and this power to do miracles? 55 He is just the son of a carpenter. His
mother is Mary, and his brothers are James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas.
We need to have fellowship with God, love Him, interact with him and walk in His purpose. But the day we try to share
His glory, we will become history. These people know the lyrics to every church songs, they can even predict the
message the pastor will tell with the verses he is reading. Yet, they are no longer excited to what God will do, spiritual
truths no longer make sense to them.
(3) SOMETIMES GOD’S LOVE HURTS
Romans 5:3-4 NCV We also have joy with our troubles, because we know that these troubles produce patience. 4 And
patience produces character, and character produces hope.
Sometimes we struggle to hold on to the truth that God loves us because he lets us suffer. We hear the words, “God
loves you and He has a wonderful plan for your life,” but then we look around, and maybe our life’s not all that
wonderful. How can a loving God, an all-powerful God, let this bad stuff happen? How do we keep trusting in the love of
God when we’re so disappointed?
God's Word says that we need the painful love of God. The sufferings He sends come not from hate, but from love. They
do not express God's condemnation, but His consecration. God's love hurts. It does not 'hurt' because there's something
wrong with His love. There is something wrong with us — our sin. God must root out our sin, and that is painful for our
old nature to take.
God's discipline is a normal expression of His love. But remember just that. It expresses His love, not His hate. We must
walk by faith, not sight. We walk by faith, not by feelings. It is not always fun being a disciple of Jesus, but it is always
fruitful. God's loving discipline molds us.
THINGS THAT SHOULD BE DONE
REALIZE
We have to realize the truth and that is that we don’t feel like we felt. Before we can deal with a problem we have to
admit that there is one. Realizing that there is a problem and it needs to be addressed solves already most of the
problems.
But something else I see what we have to admit is that just because you don’t feel like you felt, doesn’t mean you are
“all bad”. Sometimes we respond defensively because we are feeling the way we are feeling and we think we are an
altogether terrible person.
Realize that there are certain words you have utter that may have cause your wife or husband to grieve, sometimes a
simple I’m sorry can become the hardest words to say.
REMEMBER
Remember … how you used to love
Remember when there was nothing but each other, when you don’t have a place yet to call home. Remember when you
still would borrow mom’s kaldero, when your plates are mismatch, when you buy your first furniture. When you don’t
have anything but you have each other.
Remember when you first came to Christ and you couldn’t wait to get to read your Bible in the morning. You would tell
everyone who would listen to you and many who wouldn’t how wonderful Jesus is. You were at Bible Study or Cell
Group, Sunday Worship. You were anxious to serve. You took notes. You sang the songs. You didn’t understand it all but
you didn’t care because you were filled with love.
Maybe you were ignored or unappreciated. You might have been legitimately wronged.
Real love, Lasting Love certainly involves feelings, but it is not controlled by feelings but is about ACTION
We have to decide to be in love we have to decide to DO LOVE … not just FEEL love
REPENT
In our marriages remember that our purposes are to be a light to the world showing the beautiful relationship between
Christ and the Church. So he implores us to repent from the things that have caused us to lose our feelings before it is
too late and our very purpose for being married loses its effectiveness
Repentance is a TURNING from and a Turning TOWARD
Repentance is what happens on the inside first before the outside
Repentance is the sorrow for what has transpired and a desire for something new
