MODULE III.

MANAGING AND CARING FOR THE SELF

This module examines ways to manage and care for the self and identify conditions
conducive to the healthy development of the self.

UNIT 1: MARTIN SELIGMAN’S PERMA MODEL IN MANAGING THE SELF

This unit will probe on the well-being theory as it impacts one’s pursuits to happiness.
It will goad you to reflect on ways to establish positive relationships, developing positive
emotions, finding meaning and engagements and celebrating your achievements.

EXPLAIN

POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY

Positive psychology is the study of happiness, flourishing, and what makes life worth
living. Positive psychology has spurred research in a variety of areas, such as happiness,
optimism, self- esteem, well-being, motivation, flow, strengths and virtues, hope,
resilience, mindfulness, and positive thinking. Specifically, it focuses on three areas of
positive experiences: the past (well-being and satisfaction), the present (happiness and
flow), and the future (hope and optimism).

Martin Seligman, one of the proponents of Positive Psychology, developed a five core
element of psychological well-being and happiness, called the PERMA Model.
Seligman believes that these five elements can help people work towards a life of
fulfillment, happiness, and meaning. It is anchored on the Well-Being Theory which
emphasizes the goal of reaching well-being.

The five factors of wellbeing are (P)ositive emotion, (E)ngagement, (R)elationships,

(M)eaning and purpose, and (A)ccomplishment (PERMA). Here, character strengths
are relevant in order to maximize well-being obtained from each factor. Maximum well-
being leads to a state of flourishing, which is described as a state of thriving, of being
full of vitality, and prospering as individuals and as a group.

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 A. POSITIVE EMOTION

Positive Emotion is about experiencing happiness,

optimism, joy, zest, amusement, hope, interest, love,
gratitude, compassion, kindness, pride, and savoring
good times. It does not, however, only mean the
ability to smile, but rather focuses more on the ability
to be optimistic. It entails looking at the past, present,
and future with a more positive attitude. Having a
positive perspective sparks our creativity and enables
us to be open to new possibilities. It also helps our
relationships, our work/studies, and basically inspires us to carry on with life. Part of our
capacity to experience positive emotions is genetic, and there are indeed people who are
what we term, “masayahin”, but all of us have the ability to purposefully experience more
positive emotion.

How can you build positive emotions? You may want to try some of these:

o Keep a gratitude journal: Everyday, write down 5 things you are grateful for. It may
be a person, object, pet, experience, event, your own physical characteristics,
talents, etc.

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 o Do random acts of kindness: It could be as simple as picking up litter and throwing
it in the right place, letting someone go ahead of you in a queue, sending a thank
you message, etc. A simple act of kindness goes a long way.
o Spend time with people who matter: Despite your busy schedule, set some time to
catch up with family, friends, people you have not spoken to for a while. Do this
without the distraction of your cellphone/gadget.
o Surround yourself with “real” friends: Doing so enables you to build a resilience circle,
where friends can energize and make you feel renewed during down times.

B. ENGAGEMENT AND FLOW

Engagement refers to “being one” with a certain activity, that you lose track of time
because of being absorbed in it. It is about doing things you enjoy, things that make you a
better person, and things that promote good. Being engaged in these activities leads us to
be so focused that time seems to stop – what is referred to as “flow”. According to Professor
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the leading researcher in the field, flow is experienced when our
greatest strengths correspond to the challenges we face. Engagement and flow is about
using our strengths to meet challenges, and we get to achieve flow when we have the
combination of a challenging situation and the opportunity to use our skills and strengths.

To achieve engagement and flow, it is first

important and meaningful to find an activity
that we can be totally and blissfully engaged
in. These activities differ from person to person,
and depends on interests, talents, and
resources. We have to find what fits us, and
leads us into the state of flow. It may be sports,
music, cooking, creative hobbies, etc.

Do you want to achieve engagement and

flow? Try these:

o Identify your strengths: What are you good at? Where do you excel? In what
instances do people compliment you?
o Be mindful: Practice mindfulness techniques that can help you be in the moment
and limit distractions so you can fully focus on what you are doing.
o Savor the moment: Be aware of your thoughts, notice how you are feeling, and take
note of your bodily sensations and reactions.
o Have a “buddy”: Sometimes, it helps to have someone who shares the same interests
as you. This can motivate you, as well as provide necessary feedback for you to
improve and develop in a particular skill or task.

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 C. RELATIONSHIPS

As humans, we are “social beings”. We constantly build

connections with others and establish positive
relationships with our family, friends, classmates, and
others. This is significant and relevant to be able to spread
and receive love and joy. Building relationships with others
enable us to feel loved, supported, and valued. Our
wellbeing is positively affected when we have good
relationships with people. In this day and age where
technology has become a big part of our lives,
relationships can be maintained more easily with the
many applications and platforms that enable us to
communicate with each other, no matter the distance.

How can you build good relationships? Consider these:

o Re-establish relationships with people you have lost touch with: Think of those you
have not spoken to in a while, and find ways to reach out to them.
o Give time: Create time to see (or call, text, message) friends to maintain your current
relationships.
o Show positivity: People enjoy being around those who are happy, optimistic, and
hopeful.
o Develop your listening skills: When talking to someone, make an effort to really listen
to, and not just hear, what the person is saying. Make it about them, and not always
about you.

D. MEANING

Meaning is about belonging to and serving something you

think is better than the self. It is feeling and knowing the value
of what we are doing, and is an intrinsic human quality. This
means that to find meaning, we need to be able to feel a
sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. Having meaning in life is
also relevant to having and feeling a sense of purpose. This
experience is different for each and every person. It is
dependent on what we are passionate about. Meaningful
experiences can be created each time you choose to make an experience meaningful.
Even negative experiences can be meaningful, when we learn from them. Furthermore,
having connections with something bigger is an effective barrier against stress, depression,
and anxiety.

How can you build meaning in your life?

o Discover meaning: Go back to our discussion on Frankl’s ways to discover

meaning. Which of these have you already done?
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 o Find your passion: What interests you and makes you happy? What do you enjoy
doing that makes you a better person, and helps others as well?
o Reflect on your values: What do you value in life? How are these reflected in the
things you do?
o Do something for someone: Make it a habit to be selfless, and do something to
make someone feel good.

E. ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Accomplishment is a positive experience. It is the sense of satisfaction at the end of a

process. When we work towards our goals and are able to achieve them, the end result
would be the feeling of being “accomplished”. Accomplishments give meaning to all
performed tasks, as well as to all realistic goals set. When we experience a sense of
accomplishment, it means that we have worked towards and reached our goals. It means
we have overcome barriers and surpassed challenges. This contributes much to our well-
being, and we are able to say with confidence and pride, “I did it…I did it well!”

How can you feel a sense of accomplishment? Let’s take a look at these:

o Set goals: Set goals that are SMART (specific, measurable,

attainable, realistic, time bound) as these are more likely
to be achieved.
o Celebrate success: No matter how “small” the
achievement, celebrate it and savor it. It is a positive
experience which should not be taken for granted.
Reward yourself for all your successes.
o Be patient and persevere: Remember that there is a right
time for everything, and you will “get there” soon enough.
In the meantime, keep going and keep trying.

References:

Seligman, M. & Czikszentmihalyi (2014). Flow and the foundations of positive psychology, 279-
298.
Seligman, M. (2012). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being.
Simon and Schuster.
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