Increase Willingness

&
Take A Moment
Decrease Unwanted Behaviors

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Presented by
CELEBRATING YOU!
Mindy Becker You are taking your first steps towards making a difference!
Mindset Shift
Conscious Discipline® Certified Instructor
Grow With Us Academy Founder & Director Take 3 deep breaths
Parent & Professional Coach

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Dr. Becky Bailey, Ph.D.

Why Conscious Discipline? What is
Conscious Discipline?
“Discipline is not
something you do
to children, it is Conscious Discipline is a research-based program that
something you has proven to:
develop within Increase academic achievement
them.”
Decrease problem behaviors • Social Emotional Intelligence system based on
Improve the quality of relationships between current brain research that teaches adults to
student to student, respond, rather than to react, to life events. Through
teacher to student, responding, conflict moments are transformed into
teacher to parent, cooperative learning opportunities.
coworker to coworker.
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 Breathing Benefits
Breathing is the Key!
“Emotional Intelligence involves the ability
to monitor ones own and others feelings
and emotions, to discriminate among Send oxygen to the
them and to use this information to guide brain
ones thinking and actions and is more Stress Reduction Skills Activates the frontal
important than IQ in determining future Belly Breathing! lobes
success.” Bring the mind to where
Breathe 3x the body is
-Dr. John D. Mayer Inhale through your nose
Exhale through your mouth

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“Secure your mask before assisting others.”

Commitment for the Day Commitment Check - In

I did it! Oops!

I’m going to…
Take 3 deep belly breaths before I go to sleep.
Breathe 3X
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 See Your Student’s As A Brain! Brain States Need

Exec

OOPS!
utive
S tate

n
io
l at
gu
Re
You made a mistake.

lf-
Em

Se
You’re beautiful to me. otio
nal
Sta
te

I want the freedom to make lasting changes in my behavior. This

can only occur if I am willing to allow mistakes to be a simple
Su
Oops - rviv
al
Other Opportunity to Problem Solve Sta
te

Feel less triggered by their behavior

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We re working so hard because

we re trying to do it
backwards.
Conscious Discipline® Brain Model Need Message of Behavior
Executive State
Prefrontal Lobes Change the state
We’re working so hard
Executive State
I can solve problems.
first. we’re trying
because Teach me

to do it backwards
Emotional State
Change the behavior Emotional State
Limbic System
second. I can emote.
I am not willing

Survival State
Brain Stem Change the 12
Survival State
I can fight, flight, defend.
State FIRST & Behavior
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I can’t
The brain always functions as a whole.

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 We must learn to discipline ourself first, Mindset Shift
Conscious Discipline
is based on these 3 premises

1. Changing ourselves is possible and

and others second. profoundly affects others.
2. Connectedness governs behavior.
3. Conflict is an opportunity to teach.
Children cannot act differently
until they are seen differently.
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How we “see” others defines who we are THE “CALL FOR HELP”
Increase Willingness
Stressful Way to Perceive Behavior *Healthy Way to Perceive Behavior*

Traditional/Common: Good Kid Vs Bad Kid Good Bad Safe Unsafe (dangerous)

Deserving Undeserving Calm Distressed ★Predictability

Conscious: Extending Love or Call for help Should feel good Should feel bad Helpful Hurtful ★Connection
Innocent Guilty Solutions Calling for help
★Assertiveness
Conscious Discipline® asks us to use compassionate
eyes to see ALL misbehavior as a call for help Use your compassionate eyes to see ALL misbehavior as a call for help

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 ★Predictability Daily Schedule

Important to
When children know check the
schedule often
what is coming next
they feel safe!
Weekly Student Job
Horizontal to strengthen eyes for reading
Visuals, Timers & Gestures

Magnetic Cookie Sheet

At eye level for children

Job for the week

Working together
to check the
schedule

Close it up when its finished Take off pic and put it on the back
 Activity Specific

Break Down Tasks

Wash%Hands%
%
Ideas for Washing Hand/Hand Sanitizer Predictability
!
!!!!!!!!!!Scrub,!Scrub,! This is the way we wash our hands, wash our hands, Break it down - more success
! wash our hands.
!! This is the way we wash our hands to keep them clean.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!In!Between! 2x

! Count to 20!
!!!!!!!
!!!!!On!Top,!On!Top! We rub and rub and rub and stop. First Then
! We rub fast fast fast and stop
!!!!!!!!!
We rub slow slow slow and stop. -write on board/poster
!
Remember to have visuals
-individual print, laminate, reuse
Now!They!Are!Clean!! -children write/draw what you say
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 How to walk in line You have a choice.
we are going to wash hands we are going to eat lunch You can walk with arms behind your back or
you can walk with your arms crossed in front of you.

First Then

Young children’s brains use images to govern behavior.

Use a Timer
Visuals…

-Communicate our expectations

-Clearly shows expected behavior
-Form of assertive communication
-Provide predictability
-Help focus on the given task
-Prepare for time management skills ✓Provides predictability
✓Sets limits
Set children up for success! ✓Prepares for time management
✓Helps you both remember
 Use your fingers as a visual
★Connection Connection = Willingness

When you feel The Motivation

connected to your to Behave
students they feel Comes From
Being in a
connected to you!
relationship!

Give a 2 minute prep

Connection = Willingness

4 Key
1. Eye contact
Elements 2. Touch
“Relationships are for Building 3. Presence
like savings accounts. You can only get Connections
out of them what you put into them!” 4. Playfulness
-Dr. Tim Jordan

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When could you do an I Love You Ritual with a child?
CONNECTIONS ON THE OUTSIDE BUILD
When children arrive/dismissal
*_________________________________________
NEURAL CONNECTIONS ON THE INSIDE ★Assertiveness
Changing diaper/before bathroom
*_________________________________________
During playground time
*_________________________________________
Tell children what to do
Before nap
*_________________________________________
When a child is having a hard time/Emotional State
* _________________________________________

Assertiveness
Teaches Assertiveness An assertive person…
Saying “No” and being heard: • tells children what to do.
Setting limits respectfully • sends a nonverbal “Just do it” message.
• is clear and direct.
• gives useable information.
• owns and expresses feelings directly.
•
Power of Attention •
speaks in concrete terms.
conscious of their intent.
What you focus on, you get more of.
93
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 Overview of the Three Voices Assertiveness Assertiveness DO NOT
TELL ASK
Page 134
THE “VOICE OF KNOWING”
Assertive Passive Aggressive DOES 3 THINGS: Tell children what to do then offer a choice

Intent: Clarity and success Avoid conflict Avoids conflict

through pleasing through dominating “Its time to line up
1. Tells what TO DO
Tone: No doubt Asking permission? Or else! You have a choice.
2. The tone says, “Just do it.” Voice of “no doubt” You can line up with your hands behind your
Power: Within Given away Taken from others
3. Paints a clear and direct picture with the back or with your hands in front of you.
Feelings: Owned with direct Projected with Projected with indirect intent of helping the child be successful or Which do you choose?”
expression indirect expression expression
relates to safety. Then notice their choice
Information: Usable, what to do Unusable, confusing Unusable, attacking Encourage them!
94

Assertiveness
Assertiveness DO NOT
TELL ASK Helpful Phrases
PRACTICE
Tell children what to do then offer a choice ♥ Match your voice to mine
“Its time to clean up. “Its time to _____.
You have a choice. You have a choice. ♥ I’m going to _____.
You can clean up the legos first You can ______ or ______.
or the puzzle first. Which do you choose?” ♥ Did you like it?
Which do you choose?” Then notice their choice
Then notice their choice ♥ It’s time to _____.
Encourage them! Encourage them!
 LANGUAGE OF CONTROL VS. SAFETY Goodbye
Song
Language of Control Language of Safety
The language we use to
discipline children becomes
You are driving me crazy. I’ve had it with I am going to take a few deep
you. You talk to me like that one more breaths and calm myself down.
time and you will go to your room. Then I will speak to you.

• I don’t know how such a lovely girl can • She is having a hard time getting the internal language they See you later alligator
After while crocodile
will use to discipline
be so lazy. started with her work.
• J.J. is just mean. He bullies everyone • J.J. doesn’t know the words to use So long king kong
he meets. I have tried everything! when he finds himself in a conflict. That’s the deal white seal
• Don't run! or Walking feet, walking feet, • Walk just like this (model) so you are themselves. Toot-a-loo kangaroo
See you soon raccoon
-Becky Bailey
walking feet! What did I just tell you? safe.
• Hold my hand so you are safe when we Come again little hen
• Hold my hand. Do you want a car to cross the street. See you there teddy bear
hit you? • When you want something open your
hand like this and ask, “Can I have a What’s the word blackbird
• What is our rule about grabbing? turn, please?” Goodbye got to fly

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Goodbye Ritual

Bye-Bye Butterfly
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