Breathe: A play by Aaron Jan

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[The lights go up on a barren stage. A projector flashes scenes of kinetic flowing life.
Four individuals stand under toplights, their backs facing the audience. They watch the
screen.]

Mike: Step 1. Close your eyes.

Chase: Step 2: Shut out everything else.

Michelle: The sirens.

Chase: The cars.

Mike: The noise.

Michelle: Step 3:

Eliza: Breathe. [All of the characters inhale.]

Mike: Just for a second.

Chase: The world stops spinning.

Michelle: The people stop walking.

Mike: Silence.

Eliza: Time freezes.

Mike: And just for a moment….

All: You can breathe.

Michelle: Be in your own skin.

Eliza: Hear the gentle rhythm.

Chase: The hymn of security.

Mike: And be real.

Chase: No need to be someone else.

Michelle: No need to strike others down.

Mike: No need to blend in.

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Eliza: Just yourself.

All: And breathe.

Chase: But then it starts again.

Michelle: The city cries.

Chase: Awakens.

All: The melody stops.

Mike: And you’re lost in the crowd. [All of the figures fade away except for MIKE. A
voice over is heard.]

Mike: I’m Mike. Single. Virgin. Coping. Soon to be English Major. [A beat.] Single.
Virgin. Coping. [He collapses on his bed and the phone rings.] Hello? [CHASE fades in,
on a cell phone.]

Chase: Heya douchebag.

Mike: Chase! How was Florida?

Chase: Just got back, man. Killer tan.

Mike: [Chase freezes.] This is Chase. We’ve been friends ever since we were five. He
drinks three Red Bulls a day and wears enough cologne that he’s flammable. His life goal
is to be an exotic dancer. [CHASE unfreezes.] Ten bucks says you look like an orange.

Chase: Laugh away, kiddo but you’re going to love this next part.

Mike: Don’t keep me in suspense.

Chase: So like, three nights ago, I was lyin’ down, working on my tan and generally
being attractive…

Mike: Oh boy.

Chase: Don’t you “oh boy” me. This chick was stacked. Aphrodite. Goddess of love.

Mike: You are the king of metaphors.

Chase: I don’t need your skepticism, Mikey boy. Anyway, so I’m on the beach, being
super jacked…you know I’m super jacked, right?

Mike: Yes.

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Chase: Enter Aphrodite stage left. She opens up her towel and lies down next to me.
Catches my eye. Smiles. We engage in some small talk, naturally about tanning and how
I fight sharks. See, all the while I am playing the game. I am subtly implying that we
should participate in some illicit activity back in my hotel room. Thing is, she wants no
part in this. She’s playing the game too. I am Bobby Fischer. She is my Kasparov. But
then she takes a waft of this. [CHASE dramatically inhales.] Do you smell that, Michael?

Mike: Dude, I’m on the phone.

Chase: [In rapture.] It’s musk. [An awkward silence.] Her eyes go all misty, they roll to
the back of her head. Her resistance fades away like a dream.

Mike: So she was having a seizure?

Chase: Don’t knock it till you try it, kiddo.

Mike: I want no ticket to the Chase express.

Chase: You’re jealous, aren’t you?

Mike: Hardly. I’m just surprised you met someone as screwed up as you are.

Chase: How’s the porn coming?

Mike: Hardy-har.

Chase: Dude, you really need a girlfriend.

Mike: Not interested.

Chase: You’re scared, aren’t you?

Mike: [Come on now.] Chase-

Chase: Mr. Ivy League is scared! Look Michael, have you ever been on a date? Ever?

Mike: Well…no.

Chase: Jesus! Man, you are like a Cherokee lost in the wilderness, pining for the North
Star’s warm embrace.

Mike: Uh…what?

Chase: Here’s an idea! How about I hook ya up? It’ll be great!

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Mike: No it won’t.

Chase: I can teach you everything I know. Trust me.

Mike: I don’t.

Chase: Don’t think of me as Chase Tyler anymore. Think of me as your wing man, you
flight to a brighter future.

Mike: Chase…really…

Chase: Come on, Mikey boy...do you really want to stay cooped up in that room forever?
This is opportunity knocking. And believe me, it won’t be here forever. [A noise is
heard.] Hey, Luggage just arrived. See ya, Mike. And just think of the possibilities! [The
lights fade on a confident CHASE. MIKE holds the phone limply in his hands.]

Mike: But when I think of the possibilities, [The Lights go up on MICHELLE, sitting
alone in an airport. MICHELLE and MIKE share the next line.] it’s not real.

Michelle: I’m Michelle. Single. And I will not tell you about what has been in or out of
my vagina. I think of myself as a modern Sappho, first lesbian. She was a tough bitch, a
real maneater. I know people stare at me. Men mostly. They gawk with their beady eyes,
lusting to taste my fruit. But this rose has thorns, waiting to impale them, crush their
misogynistic desires. And then I’ll laugh. I will drink their tears. And they’ll keep
coming. [The lights reveal CHASE, who now has his luggage.] What can I say? I have
good genes.

Chase: I’m Chase. Single…for now. Not exactly a virgin. Why, you may ask? See Chase
Tyler plays by key set of rules. Take that girl over there.

Michelle: I know I’m hot.

Chase: She’s hot. But she’s talking to herself. Delusional. Probably Crazy. Thing is, she’s
a total fox. Rule 44, play with the hand you’re given. You can always shuffle later. [He
swivels to MICHELE, who is still in her trance.] Protip: You have 3 seconds to approach
her. Fail to comply and you look like a creep.

Michelle: [Gesturing to CHASE.] Enter typical male. I can smell his hair gel. It bleeds
insecurity and fear. He underestimates me.

Chase: Don’t look at the chest. I mean, they’re like a minefield. You can get lost in that
shit. But you have to keep your eyes on the prize. Don’t make them think that you’re-

Michelle: A douche. He’s trying to not to look at my breasts, but that’s a male thing. His
eyes are inexplicably drawn to these girls. Oh, [Both say the next line] Men.

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Chase: The hunter species. No prey can run from Chase Tyler, descendant of Adonis
himself. Eyes on the prize. Watch and learn, kiddo. [He looks at MICHELE, his tone
changes.] Hey.

Michelle: Hey.

Chase: You were talking to yourself.

Michelle: Was I?

Chase: I’m pretty sure everyone in the terminal could hear you.

Michelle: How unfortunate.

Chase: Don’t you care?

Michelle: Not particularly.

Chase: You know, I really like your energy. You march to the beat of your own drum, so
to speak. The world needs more people like you.

Michelle: Thank you.

Chase: So, where are you coming from?

Michelle: London.

Chase: England?

Michelle: Yes.

Chase: Vacation?

Michelle: No.

Chase: You must be an artist.

Michelle: How can you tell?

Chase: You look like the type; you have this artless grace about you.

Michelle: How kind of you.

Chase: You’re acting like you don’t believe me.

Michelle: To be honest, I don’t.

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Chase: Come on, let me take a gander.

Michelle: A gander?

Chase: Sure. You’re 17. Some type of thespian due to the inordinate care of your nails.
You walk with a sense of bohemian dignity. Then there’s location. London seals the deal.
[Mockingly.] Home of the Bard. [Beat.] So how’d I do?

Michelle: Wow. I’m actually impressed. You’ve got good eyes.

Chase: Lucky guess.

Michelle: [Abruptly.] Let me try you, then.

Chase: Me? Well, I don’t know if-

Michelle: You’re 18. Just came back from some beach due to the cancerous colour of
your skin. Your voyeuristic observation of me proved that you have a trained eye for
stalking women. [Mockingly.] A real player, pumping gas for the rest of his life. [Beat.]
So how’d I do?

Chase: [An uneasy beat.] Great.

Michelle: [She extends her hand, cutting CHASE off.] My name’s Michelle. Michelle
Cross.

Chase: [He shakes her hand wearily. He wants to leave.] Chase. Chase Tyler.

Michelle: Well, Mr. Tyler, it seems my taxi has just arrived. [She writes something on a
piece of paper and hands it to CHASE.] It was a pleasure talking to you. Here’s my
contact information if you feel the need to stalk me. Have a wonderful day, little boy.
[She exits, leaving a bewildered CHASE lost in the terminal. A light appears on MIKE,
who stands alone under a lamppost.]

Mike: I like to take walks when it’s late. ‘Cause that’s when I can see. There’s no cars, no
people, no noises. There’s just the sky. The countless stars. [A beat.] I envy Chase. He
doesn’t have to deal with this. [The light on CHASE fades. The sound of a bicycle is
heard and a light shines from offstage in MIKE’s eyes.] What the- Holy shit-[A swerving
sound effect is heard. Enter ELIZA wildly on her bicycle. She collides into MIKE.]

Eliza: My name is Eliza. My favourite colour is turquoise. I once saw two squirrels have
sex in a park. It is 4 in the morning. The city is quiet. I just hit a boy with a bicycle. [A
beat.] Sweet Jesus, are you okay?

Mike: I’m still breathing.

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Eliza: You’re bleeding.

Mike: It’s fine.

Eliza: No, you’re bleeding.

Mike: I’ll be alright. [A beat.]

Eliza: You sure?

Mike: Really.

Eliza: You seem kinda out of it.

Mike: [“You idiot.”] You just hit me with your bike.

Eliza: Did I? Because I could’ve sworn that you leapt in my way.

Mike: Completely. It’s my job to get hit by bicycles.

Eliza: I knew it. You looked like the angsty type.

Mike: You’re making a great first impression.

Eliza: Actually…you know what you really look like?

Mike: What?

Eliza: A guppy.

Mike: Excuse me-

Eliza: An unappealing fish that no one really wants to catch. Just flopping on the deck.

Mike: [“Wow”.] Gee, thanks.

Eliza: Need ice?

Mike: [“I already told you.”] I’m not bleeding.

Eliza: Good. Because I don’t have any. [A beat. ELIZA withdraws a juice box from her
messenger bag and begs to sip it. As she does so, the wind blows and MIKE notices an
obnoxious amount of wind chimes that have been positioned on ELIZA’s bike.] So,
watcha doing up, guppy-boy?

Mike: It’s Michael, actually. Why do you ask?

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Eliza: I’m curious. You’re surprised?

Mike: People don’t normally ask me about myself.

Eliza: Why’s that?

Mike: I guess I’m not interesting enough for them.

Eliza: Well, you’re interesting enough for me. It’s not often that you meet a fellow night-
owl, especially one with a fetish for getting hit by bicycles. Humor me, Michael. What’re
you doing up?

Mike: It’s stupid.

Eliza: Michael, we’re both up at 4 in the morning. I may or may not have hit you with a
bicycle. You look like a guppy. I smell like catnip. I have a ludicrous amount of wind
chimes on my bike.

Mike: I noticed.

Eliza: Well?

Mike: [He hesitates.] I don’t know.

Eliza: Michael, if you didn’t know you wouldn’t be here.

Mike: Caught me.

Eliza: Don’t you trust me?

Mike: You almost killed me with your bike.

Eliza: Oh yeah. [A beat.] Let’s make a deal.

Mike: What?

Eliza: If I tell you why I’m here, you’ll tell me why you were wandering around.

Mike: You are really desperate for conversation.

Eliza: [suddenly] I come here to breathe.

Mike: Come again?

Eliza: Whenever I feel lost, I wind up here. It’s the only spot where I can really be.
There’s no distractions, no one else. Just me: the wind and the empty city.

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Mike: You’re weird.

Eliza: Why don’t you try?

Mike: Try what?

Eliza: Breathing!

Mike: I really don’t want to-

Eliza: We made a deal.

Mike: Which I never-

Eliza: Close your eyes.

Mike: -agreed to.

Eliza: Close your eyes, Michael.

Mike: [MIKE reluctantly obliges.] Fine.

Eliza: Shut everything else out. Now breathe. [Images begin to flicker on a screen:
Childhood memories, birthday parties, first day of school…etc. The images begin to blur
together, eventually settling on a busy highway, flashes of kinetic energy, similar to the
film from before.] What do you see? What appears out of the darkness? [The figures of
CHASE and MICHELLE appear in silhouettes. ELIZA fades away. The images of the
film shift to each line.]

Chase: You ever feel like you don’t fit in?

Michelle: You’re different.

Chase: When you were in elementary school, you were that kid who cried to get
attention.

Michelle: When the other kids were partying their Fridays away, you were in your
basement looking up Japanese tentacle porn.

Chase: You’re awkward around everyone.

Michelle: So you put up walls.

Chase: Stop people from getting in.

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Michelle: You’re numb.

Chase: Like you’re stuck behind a window, frozen as people dance around you.

Michelle: Living their lives.

Chase: You see them love.

Michelle: Laugh.

Chase: Feel. And you know that you can’t.

Michelle: So you look for any sort of escape, any way to break the glass.

Chase: But it never works.

Michelle: They say you’re going to do great things when you grow up.

Chase: Thing is, it doesn’t matter.

Michelle: You’re trapped in a four walled cell. [ELIZA is illuminated.]

Chase: And you can’t tell her. You can’t even answer her simple goddamned question.
‘Cause you’re scared shitless.

Eliza: What do you see?

Chase: Scared of yourself.

Mike: Nothing. [CHASE and MICHELLE fade away.]

Eliza: You don’t sound too sure about that.

Mike: [After a lengthy pause.] I saw myself.

Eliza: Did you like it?

Mike: No. Not at all. I shouldn’t be telling you this. You’re a complete stranger-

Eliza: You came here for the stars, didn’t you?

Mike: How’d you know?

Eliza: Just look at them. I mean, there’s so many. But then you focus. You see that lone
star, exposing itself for all to see. And you wonder, why does that star try? It’s one of

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millions. No one cares about it. It’s a speck on the radar. [A beat.] I like you, Michael.
You are a fascinating individual. [She walks to her bike.] It was wonderful meeting you.

Mike: You’re going?

Eliza: The sun’s about to rise. I’m cold.

Mike: At least give me your name.

Eliza: It’s Eliza. I was wrong about you, Michael. You are not a guppy. Also, you are-
[CHASE appears, in a sub-room of a club. He carries a large bag with him. MIKE
remains staring at ELIZA.]

Eliza and Chase: Bleeding.

Chase: Seriously man, chicks don’t dig blood. Unless they’re into that shit. Hey, are you
even listening to me?

Mike: Yeah. [The scene freezes.] So, as my wingman, Chase decided it would be a great
idea to take me clubbing. As soon as we enter, he decides to take me into this side room
that he calls the “War Room”. [The scene unfreezes.]

Chase: Then pay attention, because I’m not going to say this when we go back in.
[ELIZA fades away.]

Mike: [MIKE watches ELIZA fade and the scene freezes as she leaves.] Chase seems
different. He’s got this new sense of determination. It’s almost like he’s worried. [The
tableaux breaks and MIKE gives CHASE a look.]

Chase: What?

Mike: What?

Chase: You gave me a look.

Mike: Did I?

Chase: Yeah.

Mike: Dude, you okay?

Chase: I’m fine. Really. Do I seem different?

Mike: You just seem…more intense than usual.

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Chase: [A beat.] You know, Mike, you gotta stop this perceptive shit. You think too
much. Lemme ask you a question. Who are you?

Mike: I’m Mike-

Chase: Wrong. You are an AFC. [Words on the projector appear, reading “Average
Frustrated Chump.” They are synced with CHASE’s words.] Average. Frustrated.
Chump. Never been on a date. Never gotten laid. Never even been kissed. You are a dime
a dozen. One of many. Out there, you’ll get eaten alive.

Mike: That’s not very nice.

Chase: But it’s true. As long as you recognize this, you’re miles ahead of your
competition.

Mike: Thanks, doc.

Chase: Second question: where are we?

Mike: A club.

Chase: Bingo. And you know what that means?

Mike: No.

Chase: This is the ocean, kid. It’s a race. You won’t have a second to breathe in there, let
alone blend in. You blend in and you’re toast. No one cares.

Mike: So how do I stand out?

Chase: Girls are like vultures. They like shiny things. Look at history. Pandora’s Box was
shiny. Diamonds are shiny. Fabio’s chest was shiny. Chicks dig the sheen. Guaranteed.
[He opens his bag.] Luckily for you, I brought some of my own shiny stuff to help out
your little plight. [He throws MIKE a repulsively shiny cyan shirt and bling.] Here, put
this on.

Mike: [He throws it down.] Dude, no.

Chase: It’s scientifically proven.

Mike: By who?

Chase: By God.

Mike: [Skeptically.] By God.

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Chase: Look, do you want to get laid or not? [MIKE reluctantly puts on the shirt.]

Mike: I look like a douche.

Chase: Not quite. [CHASE throws him a condom.] Catch.

Mike: [He catches the condom.] What do I need this for?

Chase: Rule number 177: Always be prepared. It’s courage, kid. Think of it as a talisman:
a key to a golden nirvana, or at least protection from a venereal disease. What I’m trying
to get at is that you gotta be more like me.

Mike: An egocentric douche?

Chase: A man with confidence. Rule number 55, emit an aura. Smile as soon as you enter
the room. It makes you seem like somebody, Michael. And everyone wants to be
somebody. Chicks dig that. It’s like babe math. Personality makes you a winner. Come
on Michael, give me a grin. [MIKE has a shaky smile.] There you go! That’s the look of a
stud right there. [He grabs the bag.] We are ready to rock! One step out this door and-
[MIKE remains immobile.] Come on, man. What’s the matter?

Mike: What if I mess up?

Chase: You won’t. Come on, Mikey-baby, don’t get cold feet on me now. [He places his
arm on MIKE’s shoulder. MIKE is looking worried.]

Mike: I’m scared, Chase.

Chase: You think I’m not?

Mike: You’ve done this before.

Chase: That changes nothing. Close your eyes, kid. [MIKE obeys CHASE slowly.] Forget
about this room. You feel that fear? That tension in your body? Maybe a sweaty palm?
Let it go. Breathe. [The sound of inhaling is heard from across the stage. A gentle melody
plays.] Let go of yourself. Be what they want you to be. When we’re out there, Mike is
gone. Make him vanish, until you’re fit for their stage. [MIKE opens his eyes.] You
ready?

Mike: Yeah.

Chase: Then let’s go. Follow my lead. [MIKE and CHASE enter the club, a swirling
kaleidoscope of mayhem. Clubgoers cross the dance floor. It is a scene of neon chaos, an
environment of rapture, paradise and despair. Red flashes relentlessly across the stage.
The two boys approach a group of two girls, ALICIA and SAM.] Watch and learn kid.
[CHASE immediately grins and walks over to them.] Hey, just want to ask you guys a

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question. My buddy and I were having this conversation and I need your opinion. Who
do you think lies more, guys or girls? [The girls begin to talk amongst themselves and
freeze in a tableaux.] Start with an opener. Engage your audience. [The girls unfreeze
and CHASE redirects his attention to them.] Then they’ll respond:

Sam: Guys.

Chase: Now, why would you say that? I entertain. [REBECCA enters the conversation,
on the same wavelength as SAM.]

Rebecca: I have a bit of experience.

Chase: Experience? I humour. [VANESSA enters the conversation, on the same

Vanessa: Too much, I’d say.

Chase: Well, my friend agrees with you.

All Clubgoers except Alicia: Then he must be honest.

Chase: [jokingly.] You are making me feel terrible about myself! [All of the girls laugh.
CHASE redirects his attention to ALICIA.] Oh man. [He starts to laugh.]

Alicia: What?

Chase: It’s adorable. Your nose wiggles when you laugh. You’re like a five year old.

Mike: Woah, wait. [The girls freeze.] You just shut her down.

Chase: Did I? Look deeper, Michael. Who is my target? [MIKE crosses to SAM.]

Mike: Her. You’re giving her all of the attention.

Chase: Wrong. Women have this compulsive need to be noticed. Why do you think they
wear makeup? It’s war paint, dude. They’re going into battle for some tender Chase-
loving. And they’ll fight for it, just like the samurai. It’s their bushido. Chick code. By
denying Nose-wiggle some tender Chase love, I am baiting her to try harder. It’s like
giving a fish a hook. They know it’s sharp, but they just gotta bite. [CHASE snaps his
fingers, the all the clubgoers unfreeze and begin to circle him, entranced by his words.]
That’s what being an artist is about: Control. [Each CLUBGOER approaches CHASE
like a magnet and he entertains them briefly.] Entertain. A joke about babies. [SAM
laughs as CHASE passes her..] A story about a friend. [REBECCA hears the story,
responds as CHASE passes by her..] Show them magic. [CHASE performs magic and
dazzles VANESSA as he passes by her.] Own the crowd. [The lights focus in on ALICIA.]

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And seize your prize. [CHASE redirects his attention to the girls.] Hey, I’ve been
ignoring your friend all night. You mind if I talk to her?

All girls except Alicia: Sure. [CHASE snaps his fingers. They collapse like pins in a
bowling alley.]

Chase: Take her someplace private. Grab her hand and take her into your world. [He
takes ALICIA’s hand.] Lock eyes. Bait her - seduce her into a sense of security. Make her
want you. Depend on you. Need you. Then seal the deal. [ALICIA kisses CHASE.] Rinse
and repeat. Another conquest for the hero. [CHASE claps and all of the bodies rise,
resetting to their original club locations. ALICIA leaves him, resetting to her tableau.]
You got all that? Good. [CHASE pushes MIKE forward.] Go get ‘em, tiger. [CHASE
snaps his fingers. The club comes back to life, an orgy of energy. The clubgoers move
freely amongst each other. It is a scene of organized chaos. MIKE attempts to make eye
contact with REBECCA, who stands with ALICIA]

Mike: Hey. [He attempts to adopt the same posture as CHASE, complete with smile and
swagger.]

Rebecca: [Her response is ice cold.] Hey.

Chase: [To MIKE.] Open.

Mike: So my buddy and I were having this conversation.

Chase: About…

Mike: [Panicking.] Girls. I wanted to ask you about them. Who do you think lies more,
guys or girls?

Rebecca: [Without hesitation.] Guys.

Mike: Now why would you say that?

Rebecca: Experience

Mike: Experience?

Rebecca: Too much.

Mike: Well, my friend agrees with you.

Chase: Atta boy.

Rebecca: Then he must be honest.

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Mike: You are making me feel terrible about myself! [A beat. REBECCA and ALICIA
remain unimpressed.] Uhhhhhhhhhh. [MIKE looks to CHASE for help, who has now
facepalmed. MIKE tries to snap to freeze the scene. Failure.]

Alicia: Why are you snapping at us?

Mike: You’re supposed to be frozen. [A beat.] Shiiiiiit. [CHASE approaches MIKE.]

Chase: What the hell are you doing? [The girls walk away from MIKE in disgust.]

Mike: Trying to pick up girls?

Chase: Doesn’t look like it.

Mike: They didn’t laugh at the joke.

Chase: Then improvise! Rule 99, be flexible. No girl wants a guy who’s as stiff as a
board. Trust me. Protip: girls are like dogs. They love to be touched.

Mike: Where?

Chase: Anywhere. Look, there’s another one. [He pushes MIKE toward SAM.] Try again.

Mike: And do what?

Chase: Touch her. [MIKE approaches SAM from behind, out of his element, he grabs her
hand.]

Mike: Hey, so my friend and I were-

Sam: Touch me again and I will cut you. [SAM walks out of the club, leaving a
bewildered MIKE standing still. CHASE approaches MIKE.]

Chase: Wow, Mike. Just wow.

Mike: That was enough to make me gay.

Chase: Rule 9: Never approach a girl from behind. Ever. It’s like the kiss of death.

Mike: Thanks for telling me in advance!

Chase: It’s common sense, Mr. Ivy League. Only creepers and bears approach from
behind. [A beat.] Your blank stare is speaking wonders. Let me show you how a real pro
carries himself. Stand and watch, kid. Learn something this time. [CHASE approaches
VANESSA. He does not notice MICHELLE, who instantly sees CHASE.] Hey, I’m only
here for a moment, but I gotta ask you-

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Michelle: [She pushes VANESSA aside.] Mr. Tyler!

Chase: [Words cannot show his dismay.] Do I know you?

Michelle: We met at the airport. Michelle, remember?

Chase: I’m sorry but I don’t-

Michelle: Don’t play dumb, Chase. I can sense your insecurity from miles away. It’s
what lies behind that poorly conceived haircut and that disgusting bronzer you’re
wearing.

Chase: Wonderful. [He is trying to get by MICHELLE, but she stops him.]

Michelle: Wherever are you going, Chase? Don’t you want to talk to little old me?

Chase: I’m here with someone.

Michelle: [She gestures to MIKE.] Is that your friend over there? [She waves. He waves
back.] He’s cute. Looks like an elf.

Chase: Are you finished?

Michelle: You are so squirmy today. Are you trying to impress someone?

Chase: [“Please shut up”] Michelle…

Michelle: Is it a girl? No.

Chase: [Under his breathe.] Not now…

Michelle: It’s your friend. The one over there. So tell me, what are the results of the
night? How many women are begging for your loins?

Chase: That’s none of your business.

Michelle: You haven’t had a single success tonight, have you?

Chase: Shut up.

Michelle: I don’t know why you try so hard, Chase. You’re like a leper, trying to put on
his bandagers. I pity you. So here’s a reality check. Your hair makes you look like a
porcupine. That tan isn’t real. Girls don’t like you. You know nothing about women. [A
beat. CHASE is as still as a board.] But I do pity you. So here’s a little gift to help you
save face. [MICHELLE passionately kisses CHASE and goes to leave.] Seeing you is

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always a joy, Chase. [MICHELLE exits the club. MIKE excitedly crosses over to CHASE,
extremely impressed. MIKE didn’t hear a word MICHELLE said.]

Mike: Chase, who was that? You think you could introduce-

Chase: [Coldly. He is different, hardened.] One more shot.

Mike: Chase?

Chase: You have one more shot. I’m beginning to think that everything I’m saying to you
is going in one ear and out the other.

Mike: You alright?

Chase: Shut the fuck up. You’ve done nothing but humiliate me all night. Do you still
wanna do this?

Mike: Of course.

Chase: Why?

Mike: Because I’m tired of-

Chase: Being yourself, right? Then stop. Nobody wants to see you, Mike. You’re a loser.
A lonely lamppost in the night. Black. No colours. No shimmer. None of that shit.
[CHASE gestures to VANESSA.] There’s your target. Be someone that she’ll want. Be a
fucking man and take her. [CHASE aggressively pushes MIKE toward VANESSA.]

Mike: [unsurely.] But what do I-

Chase: You’re not listening to me. Be a fucking man and take her. [MIKE stands
immobile. The club girls swirl around him. Adrenaline pumps.] No one wants a nobody,
Michael. No one wants to blend in. No one wants to be forgotten. People want a
somebody.

Sam: They don’t care who that is.

Alicia: They want somebody they’ll remember. [ELIZA fades in.]

Eliza: Close your eyes.

Rebecca: Somebody who’s not invisible.

Eliza: Shut everything else out.

Sam: Someone who isn’t numb.

19
Eliza: Step 3:

All girls except Vanessa: Someone who can feel.

Eliza: Breathe.

Chase: You’re not listening to me, Michael!

Chase and the Clubgirls: What are you waiting for? [ELIZA fades away.]

Chase: Be a fucking man and-[MIKE crosses the stage and savagely kisses VANESSA.
The lights fade. ELIZA is revealed under a toplight.]

Eliza: I like to bike when it’s late. I don’t really care where I go. I just embrace the wind.

Michelle: My Mom asked me yesterday if I had any friends.

Eliza: My dad liked to bike.

Michelle: I laughed and tried to avoid the question.

Eliza: We’d go out every Saturday. And he’d be there. Ever since he was a kid, he had
this plan to do the tour de France before he died. So he’d train every day. Everyone else
would made fun of him, saying he couldn’t do it, calling him crazy.

Michelle: I’d never admit it-

Eliza: He never did.

Michelle: But it stung.

Eliza: Mom doesn’t dream.

Michelle: I tried to leave.

Eliza: I see it in her eyes. I hear it in her voice.

Michelle: But the old hag wouldn’t shut up.

Eliza: So I bike.

Michelle: She kept going.

Eliza: I can shut out the world’s noise.

20
Michelle: She said that I demonstrated “anti social behaviour.”

Eliza: I can breathe.

Michelle: And I should stop pushing people away.

Eliza: Because if I don’t-

Michelle: To which I responded

Eliza: I stop dreaming.

Michelle: Get off my back.

Eliza: The noise comes back.

Michelle: Maybe if you weren’t such a whore, Dad wouldn’t have run off. Maybe then I
wouldn’t be so “negative.”

Eliza: I remember the first time I ran away from home.

Michelle: It was midnight.

Eliza: I came to an overpass and looked down at the highway.

Both: I gazed down at the blur of traffic.

Michelle: All of the cars were the same.

Eliza: I felt so scared, so small.

Both: I wanted to jump.

Eliza: But as I stood on that railing, I felt something.

Michelle: All of those cars were the same.

Eliza: I felt the wind of a Saturday morning.

Michelle: The exact same.

Eliza: I felt safe.

Michelle: I was better than them.

Eliza: And the more I thought about it…

21
Michelle: The more I realized….[MIKE appears bloodied and bruised under a toplight.]

Mike: It’s the truth. [ELIZA and MICHELLE fade away. CHASE enters.]

Chase: Mike! Slow down.

Mike: What do you want?

Chase: Jesus, I’ve been looking all night for you.

Mike: Really? Because when the punches started flying, you were nowhere to be found.

Chase: Come on, Mike-

Mike: You’re my friend, Chase. You were supposed to help me, but you ran like a bitch.

Chase: Dude, you’re not still-

Mike: Bitter? Is that the word you’re looking for?

Chase: I was actually gonna use upset. Mikey-baby-

Mike: Don’t patronize me.

Chase: Michael. We all make mistakes. I mean, I remember my first time-

Mike: Will you cut the shit?

Chase: I’m trying to help you.

Mike: No. You’re not. You did this to make yourself look good. “The wise master
teaches the young grasshopper”. Just like one of your shit metaphors.

Chase: I’m trying to make you somebody, Michael.

Mike: Somebody? Like somebody who dresses like an asshole? Like somebody who
thinks they know everything about women? Like somebody who abandons their friends
when they’re in trouble.

Chase: Like somebody who can stand on his own two feet.

Mike: I’d rather die than be you.

Chase: Better than someone who can’t even step out of his room. People see me Mike.

22
Mike: And what do they see? Tell me, I really want to know.

Chase: Somebody-

Mike: But who is that somebody, Charlie?

Chase: Don’t you fucking call me that-

Mike: You’re a coward, Chase. A fucking coward. Here’s your shit back. [He throws the
bling on the ground. He throws the condom.] Why don’t you go back into the club and
put this to good use. Fuck a whore or something. I don’t care.

Chase: It’s more than you could ever do.

[CHASE takes his belongings and exits. MIKE remains alone on the street. He wanders,
lost and confused until he reaches ELIZA’s street lamp. He stares up at the stars for a
while, lost in thought. As he does, the projector reveals a large window, obscuring the
stars. Frustrated, MIKE begins to leave, giving up. ELIZA enters on her bicycle.]

Eliza: Michael? [MIKE keeps walking.] Hey, slow down. You don’t look so good.
[ELIZA stops MIKE, but he wrenches free from her.] You’re hurt.

Mike: I’m fine. [He begins to exit. ELIZA’s next words stop him.]

Eliza: You’re bleeding.

Mike: I said I’m fine.

Eliza: No. You’re not. You got into a fight, didn’t you?

Mike: It’s none of your business.

Eliza: Really? Then why did you come here?

Mike: [He hesitates.] I don’t know.

Eliza: Michael, that’s not an answer.

Mike: Well what do you want me to say? I honestly don’t know! And I’m sorry if that
answer isn’t good enough for you, Eliza. I really am.

Eliza: Are you alright?

Mike: What does it look like!? I can’t even flirt with girls without getting punched in the
face.

23
Eliza: [“What the hell?”] You were hitting on girls?

Mike: I needed to feel something.

Eliza: By hitting on girls.

Mike: You’re making me feel worse.

Eliza: Sorry. [A beat.] Do you need ice?

Mike: Do you actually have some this time?

Eliza: No. But I do have juice.

Mike: Juice?

Eliza: Yeah. [ELIZA takes a juicebox out of her messenger bag.] My dad always used to
give me juice whenever I felt upset. [She throws the juicebox at MIKE.] Catch.

Mike: [MIKE looks at the juicebox.] Guava?

Eliza: I buy from Asians. It’s cheaper. [A beat.] So how’d it happen?

Mike: Excuse me?

Eliza: How’d you get whacked?

Mike: I kissed the wrong girl.

Eliza: Surprise!

Mike: Tell me about it. Her boyfriend was a lot stronger than he looked.

Eliza: So how’d it feel?

Mike: Pretty shitty. Empty. Wet. She tasted like cancer. [A beat. ELIZA begins to laugh.]
[He takes a sip of the juice.] This is horrible.

Eliza: It’s probably expired. [A beat. She gets an idea.] Michael?

Mike: Yeah?

Eliza: Can I ask you something?

Mike: Sure.

24
Eliza: What did you hope to accomplish tonight?

Mike: My friend told me I was going to get laid.

Eliza: And you want that?

Mike: Sure.

Eliza: Why?

Mike: I’m a guy, Eliza.

Eliza: I’m a girl, Mike.

Mike: You don’t get it.

Eliza: What’s there TO get? Were you going to win some sort of medal for fornication?

Mike: It’s not exactly a medal-

Eliza: Then what’s the point? I mean, there’s no award ceremony. There’s no one going:
hurray! You got laid! It was awkward and sticky and was nothing like the porn! Let’s
throw a parade! [MIKE gives her a look.] Oh, too soon? [A beat.] Can I ask you
something else?

Mike: Another one?

Eliza: Sure!

Mike: Go ahead.

Eliza: What are you afraid of?

Mike: Where’d that come from?

Eliza: Curiosity.

Mike: I-

Eliza: And don’t tell me that “you don’t know.”

Mike: What if I don’t?

Eliza: Then you wouldn’t have come here.

Mike: Well if you’re so smart, then why don’t you tell me? What am so I scared of?

25
Eliza: Yourself.

Mike: [Caught off guard.] What?

Eliza: You’re scared of yourself. [MICHELLE fades in.]

Michelle: You ever feel like you don’t fit in?

Eliza: Scared that you’re alone. [CHASE fades in.]

Chase: You ever wish you were someone else?

Eliza: Scared of what others will think.

Michelle: You think that you could be so much more-

Eliza: Scared that you can’t feel.

Chase: If you weren’t yourself.

Eliza: Trapped.

Both: In a four walled cell.

Mike: I don’t need you to be my fucking psychiatrist.

Eliza: Then why’d you come here?

Michelle: And you can’t tell her.

Chase: Not by yourself.

Eliza: [A beat.] Mike?

Mike: What?

Eliza: Stand up.

Mike: Is this supposed to make me feel better?

Eliza: Close your eyes.

Mike: We tried this before. It made me feel awful.

26
Eliza: Try this time. [MICHAEL stands closes his eyes reluctantly.] Shut out everything
else. Breathe. [A series of series of images begin to flicker on the screen behind MIKE.
However, as MIKE continues to breathe, the images slow down, revealing a beautiful
night sky.] What do you see?

Mike: Nothing. Black. Red.

Eliza: Go deeper. What’s behind that?

Mike: Cold. White. Pain.

Eliza: What else? [As MIKE focuses, a window fades in.]

Mike: A window.

Chase: You gotta be more like me-

Mike: It’s closed.

Chase: A man with confidence.

Mike: There’s something on the other side.

Eliza: What?

Chase: Nobody wants to blend in.

Mike: I can’t see it.

Eliza: Then open it.

Chase: You need me.

Mike: How?

Eliza: Find a way. [The club girls fade in with CHASE and MICHELLE. Their voices
blend together until it becomes a torrent of noise. The next few lines occur in rapid
succession.]

Chase: You have to be a somebody, Mike. No one wants a nobody. [CHASE repeats
these lines in the cluster of noise.]

Michelle: You can’t even stand on your own two feet. A lonely lamp post in the night.
Lonely, lonely, lonely. [MICHELLE repeats these lines in the cluster of noise.]

27
Rebecca: It’s an ocean out there. Stay put and they’ll eat you alive. [REBECCA repeats
these lines in the cluster of noise.]

Sam: Touch me again and I will cut you. [She synchronizes the next line with
MICHELLE.] Lonely, lonely, lonely. [SAM repeats theses line in the cluster of noise.]

Alicia: Too much I’d say. [She synchronizes the next line with REBECCA.] [ALICIA
repeats this line in the cluster of noise.]

Chase: [The voices begin to dissipate one by one, until only CHASE is heard…saying:]
You need me Mike. You need me. [He repeats this until the narration is heard.]

Mike’s Narration: You know what’s funny, Chase?

Mike: I don’t. [The voices fade away and an image of a window shattering is visible,
revealing a beautiful night sky.]

Eliza: Now what do you see?

Mike: [A beat. He opens his eyes.] Stars.

Eliza: Glad to hear it. [She makes a motion toward the juicebox.] You gonna finish that?

Mike: Hell no.

Eliza: Sweet. [She takes the juicebox and drinks it.] Michael, what do you want out of
life?

Mike: Happiness, I guess.

Eliza: So, if that’s what YOU want, then why look for it in other people? You gotta start
it yourself if you want get stuff done. Break the glass, y’know?

Mike: It’s not that easy.

Eliza: But that’s why it’s so fun.

Mike: You’re going to have to explain that.

Eliza: Michael, we’re losers. Rejects. Fools who stare at the stars ‘till God knows when.
Why not embrace it? Have some fun. Otherwise you’ll always be stuck behind that
window. You’ll never breathe. [She moves toward her bike.]

Mike: You’re leaving?

Eliza: I’ve been sitting here for five hours. I’m cold.

28
Mike: Why the hell would you do that?

Eliza: I knew you’d show up.

Mike: Eliza?

Eliza: Yeah?

Mike: Thanks.

Eliza: Don’t thank me. You did this by yourself. [She gets on her bike.] It’s always a
pleasure, Michael. [She exits.]

Mike: Right back at you. [MIKE stares at the sky for a while.] I think I stood there for a
good hour. I didn’t really know what I was looking at. But I didn’t care. Because I was
doing it. Because I wanted to. [The lights fade on MIKE and are brought up on
MICHELLE, sitting in her house. A knock on a door is heard.]

Michelle: It’s open. [The door swings open. It is CHASE.]

Chase: ‘Ey-

Michelle: What the hell are you doing here? How’d you find this house?

Chase: You gave me your address at the airport….remember?

Michelle: So you stalked me.

Chase: You got a second?

Michelle: Not for you. [She closes the door. CHASE catches it with his foot.]

Chase: [Crippled…in intense amounts of pain.]…Wait…

Michelle: I am fully capable of crushing your foot with this door.

Chase: I just need someone to talk to.

Michelle: And you chose me.

Chase: Yeah.

Michelle: In case you haven’t noticed, Chase, I don’t like you. I really don’t like you.

Chase: I am fully aware of that.

29
Michelle: Yet here you are.

Chase: Could you open the door? I’m losing the circulation in my foot.

Michelle: [She ignores his request. Suddenly.] Did you bus?

Chase: [Still in pain.] Yeah.

Michelle: The 34?

Chase: I took the 7.

Michelle: The 34’s faster

Chase: Mapquest told me to.

Michelle: But the 34’s faster.

Chase: Mapquest doesn’t lie.

Michelle: That’s- [She stops herself.]- There has to be someone else.

Chase: There really isn’t.

Michelle: What about your friend?

Chase: We’re not talking.

Michelle: What’re you, five? Don’t you have any other douchebag friends? [A beat.]
Holy shit, you’re pathetic. [Another beat.] And you’re not leaving.

Chase: There’s no one else.

Michelle: You might as well come in. [She opens the door. As she does so, CHASE
collapses in.. He sits down.] I didn’t say you could sit. [CHASE hobbles to his feet.] I
hope you’re not expecting me to offer you anything.

Chase: Wouldn’t dream of it.

Michelle: Don’t get me wrong Chase. If you were any other individual, I would go out of
my way to show you my hospitality. Unfortunately, you are Chase Tyler. [A beat.] Do
you actually need to sit down?

Chase: Uh…yeah. My foot’s pretty swollen.

30
Michelle: Sit on the floor. [CHASE does.] But far away from any furniture. In that corner.
Facing the window.

Chase: Thanks. [He sits. It is awkward, because he can’t face MICHELLE.] You live
alone?

Michelle: I manage.

Chase: All by yourself?

Michelle: I manage.

Chase: What happened to your parents?

Michelle: My mom and I don’t see eye to eye.

Chase: I wonder why…

Michelle: I’m not a bitch, Chase.

Chase: I never said you were. [MICHELLE casts him a cold stare.] What about your dad?

Michelle: [Quickly Shutting him down.] I thought you wanted to talk about yourself.

Chase: Sorry.

Michelle: Don’t apologize. And don’t make eye contact.[A beat.] Well, if you want to
speak, speak. Just don’t expect any sympathy.

Chase: [Awkwardly.] Michelle?

Michelle: What?

Chase: Why do you hate me?

Michelle: Because you’re just like everyone else.

Chase: That’s all?

Michelle: I don’t feel the need to pour out my soul to you, Chase.

Chase: I never expected you to. [Honestly. Treading carefully.] You ever feel like you
don’t fit in? Not saying I don’t, but hypothetically, you know? You’re [He is joined by
MIKE for the next word, softly.] different.

31
Mike: You were the kid who cried to get attention. Whose Mom dressed him until he was
13.

Chase: Whose father was never around. Travelling. Working. So you went to parties,
getting smashed just so people could notice you. And adopt a persona, desperate for
someone to see you. Because inside, you’re-

Mike, Michelle and Chase: Numb.

Mike and Chase: You were afraid that you couldn’t feel.

Chase: So you tried, every day. You changed yourself, just to kill everything you knew
you weren’t. You needed to feel. Everything.

Michelle: Anything.

Chase: Because you were so scared of being trapped behind glass. Because you were so
certain that you couldn’t open it by yourself. You needed to be someone else.

Mike: But you didn’t need to.

Chase: And you hurt people along the way.

Michelle and Chase: You left people, just because you wanted to play pretend. You were

Chase: Alone.

Mike: But then you remembered who you were.

Chase: Scared.

Michelle: Afraid.

Mike: But not alone. And you get back up, because you know who you are. Cause maybe
you don’t fit in. Maybe no one will notice you. But you’ll still be you.

Chase: Still here.

Mike: Not alone. [MIKE fades away.]

Chase: I think I need to apologize to someone.

Michelle: Your friend?

Chase: Yeah. [He gets up.] I’d better go.

32
Michelle: Jesus.

Chase: What were you expecting?

Michelle: You to whine like a bitch. I’m impressed, Chase-

Chase: It’s Charlie, actually.

Michelle: Charlie?

Chase: I always hated the name.

Michelle: [Dismissively.] It has a nice ring to it.

Chase: I suppose so. [He walks toward the door.]

Michelle: Wait.

Chase: What’s up?

Michelle: There had to be someone else.

Chase: Course there was.

Michelle: So you lied.

Chase: How else would I have gotten in the door?

Michelle: But why me?

Chase: I didn’t want someone who’d hold my hand or try to butter me up. You’re the
only honest one.

Michelle: You’re not as dumb as you look.

Chase: And you’re not that big of a bitch.

Michelle: You don’t know me.

Chase: Maybe not. But I’d like to.

Michelle: Come again?

Chase: The world needs more people like you. Don’t give me that look. I mean it this
time. [He notices something.] Woah.

33
Michelle: What’s wrong?

Chase: Your eyes.

Michelle: What about them?

Chase: They’re beautiful. You should pull back your bangs sometimes. Let people in.
[He brushes her hair and heads to the door, leaving MICHELLE smitten and awkward.]
Thanks for listening, Michelle. [He continues moving toward the door.]

Michelle: You’re taking the 7?

Chase: Actually, I think I’ll take the 34.

Michelle: What about Mapquest?

Chase: I’ll survive.

Michelle: Charlie?

Chase: I have to go, Michelle.

Michelle: Wait! This isn’t fair. I’m not supposed to…you’re not-

Chase: Oh, before I forget. [CHASE passionately kisses MICHELLE, who is extremely
shocked] That was for last night. [CHASE scribbles down something on a piece of paper
and hands it to MICHELLE.] Here’s my contact information if you feel the need to stalk
me. By the way, nice tits. [CHASE exits.]

Michelle: [Smitten and shocked, she gradually recovers.] Bastard! [The lights go up on
MIKE, at the street corner. His bruises are gone. ELIZA enters on her bicycle.]

Eliza: Hey.

Mike: Hey.

Eliza: You’re here early.

Mike: My friend told me to.

Eliza: The one who got you punched in the face?

Mike: We made up.

Eliza: Did he cry?

34
Mike: Yeah. It was pretty awkward.

Eliza: Well, I’m happy for you. [She reaches into her messenger bag.] Juice?

Mike: I’m good.

Eliza: It’s prickly pear!

Mike: Really, no.

Eliza: Your loss. [She sips the juice.] You’re different, Michael.

Mike: How so?

Eliza: You’re calm.

Mike: I have an answer for you.

Eliza: For what?

Mike: Our deal. The one we made when we first met.

Eliza: When you jumped in front of my bike!

Mike: Yeah.

Eliza: So what’s your answer?

Mike: You were right. I came here for the stars. At least I used to. I used to feel so empty
inside. Then I’d look up and see the sky. And I’d feel like maybe I belonged there, sitting
next to the cosmos. But then I met you. And that’s why I came back last night. That’s
why I’m here now. [ELIZA has stopped sipping her juice.] Last night, after you left, I
looked back up at the sky. [CHASE appears from the darkness.]

Chase: I stood beneath the cerulean blanket and I wondered….[MICHELLE appears

Michelle: How can so many stars exist?

Mike: Don’t they feel confined?

Chase: One of many?

Michelle: Lost?

Mike: My eyes wandered.

35
Michelle: Until finally I found an empty spot.

Chase: But then I looked harder.

Mike: And I saw one star. Shining.

Michelle: Two stars.

Chase: Four. Five.

Mike: They multiplied the longer I stared. Unconscious of each other.

Chase: Growing stronger and stronger.

Michelle: They weren’t hiding.

Mike: They were waiting.

Eliza: For what?

Mike: I don’t think I know that yet.

Chase: But you know what’s funny?

Michelle: I don’t think that matters.

Mike: I’ll find it myself. Because when I looked into that sky, I didn’t feel scared
anymore, Eliza. I didn’t. Because I met you. Because you’re different than everyone else.
You listen. You talk. You’re real.

Eliza: Michael-

Mike: Let me finish. I like the ridiculous amount of windchimes you carry on your bike. I
like how you stay up ridiculously late to watch the sun rise. I like how you drink rotten
pear juice. I like how you insist that I ran in front of your bike. I like how you can see
without your eyes. I like you, Eliza. I really do.

Eliza: Mike?

Mike: Yeah?

Eliza: Shut up.

Chase: Close your eyes.

36
Michelle: Shut everything else out.

All except Mike: Breathe. [She kisses him. All of the lights dim except for the projector,
which displays the kinetic images from the opening. Narration from MIKE is heard.]

Mike: I’m Mike. Single. Virgin. Coping. [The lights fade as the projector shows one final
image. MIKE is walking through the highway of light from the opening movie.]

37