BALANCE FAMILY & SCHOOL

There is no single formula for attaining a balanced life. It is a personal

decision how one combines their career, spouse/significant other,
children, friends and self into an integrated whole. The key is to develop
creative solutions as you approach the challenges of balancing the
responsibilities and joys of your multiple roles. Some of the same skills
and strategies you use at work such as planning, organizing,
communicating, setting limits and delegating can be used effectively on
the home-front for achieving a satisfying, fulfilling and well-balanced life
both personally and professionally.

1. Build a Support Network

Ask for help and allow yourself to be helped and contributed to. Get your
children involved--work together as a team. Recruit friends, family,
neighbors, bosses, work colleagues, etc. and ask for their support.
Between work and family, surprises are inevitable. Be prepared by
creating back-up and emergency plans; always have a contingency.

2. Let Go of Guilt
Guilt is one of the greatest wastes of emotional energy. It causes you to
become immobilized in the present because you are dwelling on the
past. Guilt can be very debilitating. By introducing logic to help counter-
balance the guilt, you can avoid sabotaging your efforts toward
work/family balance and stay better on course.

3. Establish Limits and Boundaries and Remember

They are Necessary for Balancing Work and Family
Boundaries are an imaginary line of protection that you draw around
yourself. They are about protecting you from other people's actions.
Determine for yourself what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior
from other people. Boundaries and limits define how you take charge of
your time and space and get in touch with your feelings. They express
the extent of your responsibilities and power and show others what you
are willing to do or accept. Without limits it's difficult to say "no". Remind
yourself often that your boundaries are necessary for balancing work
and family.

4. Determine Your Own Standards

Get rid of the notion of being a perfectionist. Wean yourself off it by
making compromises--figure out where the best places to make the
compromises are without short-changing yourself, your spouse, your
children, your boss, etc. Live by your own standards rather than
someone else's. Standards are about YOU and refer to the behavior and
actions you are willing to hold yourself to.

5. Create Time for Yourself

Being a good parent, partner and professional means being good to
yourself first. Use your mind to make some affirmations for yourself. Find
ways to relax, relieve tension and minimize stress. Taking some time off
for yourself will not only benefit you, but it will benefit your work and
family tremendously, as well!

6. Get Organized
Set priorities, work smarter not harder, delegate (and really let go!).
Create lists and save them for re-use. Keep a main calendar centrally
located to post everyone's activities.

7. Balancing Work and Family Requires You to Be

Flexible
Forgive yourself when things don't get done. Understand that with
children things change at a moment's notice. Be ready and willing to
assume responsibility for any of the tasks that need to get done at any
time. Never get too comfortable, because as soon as you seem to get
things under control, they change! Also, realize that in order to achieve
success many women have had to give up their original goals and
substitute new ones with different but equal challenges. Negotiate for
what you need.

8. Enjoy Quality Family Time

Spend quality/focused time with your family. Give them your full
attention. Develop rituals you can all look forward to. Create
relationships with your spouse and children that are not incidental but
rather instrumental to your success.

9. Find Reliable Child Care

Leave your kids in capable hands. Find someone you feel comfortable
and confident in. If you're feeling ambivalent about working or about
leaving your child, etc. do not show it--your child (at any age) will pick
right up on it. Feel proud when you've found someone who fits into your
needs. Get involved with your child's care providers by communicating
frequently and observing interactions between caregiver and your child.

10. Achieve an Integrated Life

Keep things in perspective. Create harmony in your life--a mixture of
work, family and friends. Remember, there is no single formula for
balancing work and family. It is a personal decision how one combines
spouse, children and career.

BALANCE

ow to Balance Family, Job and School

By Yalonda Dunschee, eHow User
 Balance Family, Job and School

Most people are taking on a lot of responsibilities. From working two jobs, to raising
a family or getting a Master's Degree, many find it hard to balance the demands of having
a job, school, and children. The key is definitely balance. You can't neglect one area of your
life for another. Here's how to balance your life and all the many elements within it.
Difficulty:

Moderately Easy

Instructions
1.

o 1

SET BOUNDARIES: With a full plate, you must set boundaries in order to keep other
"things" from creeping up and adding itself on to your existing plate of responsibilities. Set
yourself a curfew for doing things. If something comes up after 10:00 it will have to wait until
tomorrow. Cut your phone off or turn off the ringer after this time so that you can unwind
and have peace before going to bed.

o 2
 DIY: Not you . . . Them. You know, those people who want you to be available for
everything at any time. There is nothing like someone calling for a favor or trying to recruit
you to take them somewhere right when you are settling down or right when you simply
don't feel like doing anything else. Learn to say no. You have enough things going on in
your life. The most you should give, especially to those who nag you to help them all the
time, is suggestions. If someone needs you to pick them up, suggest they get a cab or call
another family member. They will eventually get the hint.

o 3

MILITARY CAMP: Run your house with extreme schedules. The key to running a stable
household is to keep things and people in order. Write down a weekly schedule and make
sure the kids and others adhere to the schedule. There are many products out there that will
chart your chores in your household. Do a search online for "chore charts." At 10:00 or
bedtime, do a walk through or inspection to make sure everyone has done their part.
Reward the kids on the weekend if they have done all their chores.

o 4

CHORES: Designate and delegate chores to family members and make sure they are doing
the chores. Majority of the members of your household will not do a better job than you
would, but atleast the job is done. You can fix any issues on the weekend. Some chores just
will have to be there until the weekend. Learn that perfection is a waste of time and many
times unachievable (especially mentally). The main idea is to get rid of the visible clutter.
When my room is a mess, I feel a mess. Sometimes designating 15 minutes to just tidying
my room can make a big difference. You can delegate two rooms to each family member to
tidy every evening for 15 minutes and it can make a big difference in how organized your
home looks.

o 5

STUDY TIME: Make sure you designate a specific time for studying. Sunday afternoon is a
great day for school work if you have a regular 9-5. Stick with your study schedule by
 setting an alarm on your phone to begin and end your studying. Goof off on Saturday, but
leave Sunday to getting down to business.

o 6

UTILIZE TECHNOLOGY: Use your cellphone to keep up with school deadlines, test dates
and appointments, store your grocery and to do lists in your phone and any contact
information you need.

o 7

DATA CENTRAL: Find an area in your home that will help everyone stay informed. Most
people use their refrigerator, but I prefer an area such as an office or even inside the closet
door to keep clutter out of the kitchen. Add a magnetic folder to the fridge (or a plastic file
holder to the wall) to hold things for the week. Add emergency numbers, to do list, grocery
list, the chore chart/list and a calendar.

o 8

ME TIME: Things will pile up and for the most part, things will never be "perfect" in the
house, but make sure that your stress is not being compiled. Stress that is not alleviated
can cause severe depression and even physical problems. Make sure you take time to
unwind. Put the kids to bed early or have them go into their room early for a movie night
atleast once a week so that you can take a nice hot bath, watch a movie, read a good book,
have some wine, or so you can turn in early. As much as you probably do in a week, know
that you need guilt-free time to relax once in a while. Those dishes will be there tomorrow.

o 9
POSITIVE THINKING: Its important to stay positive when balancing your life. When you put
it in perspective that there are people who are homeless and children that are starving, it
can really help you to count your blessings and realize that you have so many things to be
thankful for. Read a scripture everyday or subscribe to a daily devotional. Listen to uplifting
podcasts or positive self help audio books on your phone or computer.

Read more: How to Balance Family, Job and School |

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