Podcast 3 Script

Hi folks! Welcome to Something Insightful, I am your host Ella Fingado, and I am so glad to

have you here today. Something Insightful is meant to be a safe space where we have a chance to

learn about complicated issues facing our world to become more conscious and aware. This is

my third podcast so far, and I strongly recommend going back to listen to the others if you

haven’t, or checking out my website, [Link], to learn a little about

me. Any opinions I hold on an issue are rooted in my belief that all humans should be treated

equally regardless of race, gender, sexuality, or class, and that we live in a society that at times,

upholds institutions violating these human rights.

Today, we’re going to be talking about consent, the prevalence of rape culture in America, & the

general lack of school education regarding consent and sexual assault. This can be a heavy topic

for some and possibly triggering, so if you are uncomfortable with the mentions of sexual

assault, I recommend that you come back next week instead. Consent is one of those things that

needs to be taught with such care and thoroughness because if it is not- a lot of people stand to be

hurt. So as we begin, I will carefully define some terms and concepts surrounding the topic of

consent.

First, we’re going to unpack the word consent itself. RAINN, the nation's largest anti-sexual

violence organization, defines consent as an agreement between participants to engage in sexual

activity. This definition is the simplistic version because in reality consent requires more than

simple agreement. A term we often hear that helps to better contextualize what consent should

look like is enthusiastic consent, which RAINN defines as “looking for the presence of a “yes”

rather than the absence of a “no”. I love this definition because it drives home a huge point that

lots of consent education miss- which is addressing the misconception that if they didn’t say

“no” directly, they still consented. This is not the case, as many times people find themselves in

situations where they don't feel comfortable or safe saying “no”. A lot of people rely on phrases

like “I don't know, I don't feel like it, or not right now”, to exit an unwanted situation. Another

important aspect of consent is just because you have had consent at one point, does not mean you

still have it. This refers to the idea that consent can be revoked at any time, and consent one week

does not automatically mean you have consented the next week.

To fully understand the boundaries of consent, we’re going to break down a quote from RAINN

that states, “Consent cannot be given by individuals who are underage, intoxicated or

incapacitated by drugs or alcohol, or asleep or unconscious. If someone agrees to an activity

under the pressure of intimidation or threat, that isn’t considered consent because it was not

given freely. Unequal power dynamics, such as engaging in sexual activity with an employee or

student, also mean that consent cannot be freely given”. End quote. The first point RAINN

makes here is that consent cannot be given to underage individuals. What that means, is that

there is a legal age of consent, by which someone is deemed able to consent. This age varies

from state to state, usually between 16 and 18. On top of this, some states also have a legal age

by which there is an acceptable difference between ages, meaning how many years apart can two

people be if one is under 18 and still consent to engage in sex. Using Maryland as an example,

the legal age of consent is 16, and the acceptable difference between ages is 4 years. This law

 helps to protect relationships that may have begun when both people were minors under the age

of 18, but now one party is legally an adult. The second point is that people who are intoxicated

or incapacitated by drugs or alcohol are unable to consent. If someone is at a point where they

are not able to make reasonable choices or are so inebriated that they are struggling to stand,

walk, or speak, they are not able physically or mentally capable of giving consent. The third

point mentioned is that agreement under intimidation, fear, or threat, is not considered consent.

This refers to the concept of “sexual coercion”, where someone is wrongfully coerced or

persuaded into performing a sexual act. Sexual coercion is a hard subject since the action does

not require violence as it relies on manipulation. It could also relate to the last point of power

dynamics, where someone might attempt and convince another that they are owed a sexual favor.

All of these circumstances occur outside of the boundaries of consent and are considered sexual

assault.

Now, a lot of you might be thinking right now that this all sounds like common sense and that

almost silly that we have to go over these at all and I agree! I think it's honestly a little scary that

we need to define these boundaries, but the thing is, is that those boundaries are broken all the

time. RAINN states that 90% of adult rape victims are female, females ages 16-19 are 4 times

more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault,

and women ages 18-24 who are college students are 3 times more likely than women in general

to experience sexual violence. The CDC finds that 1 in 5 women will have experienced

completed or attempted rape. Now, I understand that women can also be the perpetrators of

sexual assault, no question about it. But it is the case the sexual violence affects women


 disproportionately than men. One in every ten rape victims is male, meaning 90% of victims or

women.

As you can see, this is an ever-growing problem and the world has taught, young boys especially,

that consent is not necessary. This is primarily a result of the concept of “rape-culture”, in which

rape and sexual violence are the norm and encouraged. Marshall University elaborates that quote

“Rape culture is perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language, the objectification of

women’s bodies, and the glamorization of sexual violence, thereby creating a society that

disregards women’s rights and safety”. End quote. So let’s break that down. Misogynistic

language refers to kinds of phrases we use that perpetuate sexism and/or prejudice against

women. Some examples are “you run like a girl, you throw like a girl”, “get back to the kitchen”,

“blonde moment”, “you’re not like other girls”, and there are just so many more. See, all of these

phrases are just used to put down women in some way or another. Now, a lot of the time men say

these things as attempted jokes, but it’ll always be sexist. I think that this is a good time to give a

reminder about the idea of punching up vs punching down in joke-telling. The concept is rooted

in the idea that who you are as a person affects whether a joke is funny or not due to social and

power dynamics. Punching up in joke-telling is a rule of thumb of whether a joke is appropriate

for you to make. So, it is completely appropriate to make a joke if it is about a group of people

who hold more power, socially than you do. So, what that would mean, is that if I as a white

woman made a joke about men and white men as a group, it would be punching up since they

hold more power than me. But it would be punching down if any white person made a joke about

people of color because it would almost always be racist due to the power that white people

have. And at the same time, it’s inappropriate for men to make jokes about women as a whole

because it will almost always be sexist coming from them.

Returning to our conversation about rape culture, though, let’s talk about the objectification of

women’s bodies. I think that where see this playing out among young men, is in pornography,

where young boy’s perception of relationships and just women is detrimentally altered. And if

you need proof of this, just ask any woman you’ve ever met. Including myself. Literally just last

week I was at the fair with my friend just standing in line and the boy in front of us (who was at

most 11 years old) looked straight at me and made just a completely sexual comment about my

body and I was horrified! This boy maybe just entered middle school and already views women

as nothing more than their bodies and even worse, is comfortable saying things right to women’s

faces! And we can compare that to the first time I was cat called in my life by a 60 year old guy

when I was just 12 in Ocean City. Being cat called and having comments made about your body

or face right to you is not an experience thats only unique to me. There is just such a rampant

normalization of violence against women in pornography and such a lack of consent. In this

sense, pornography inadvertently encourages and perpetrates violence against women. It’s not

only pornography though, in almost any form of media or entertainment you will see women’s

bodies being objectified. The easiest example is the Marvel movies franchise, where Black

Widow, who for many years was one of the only female main characters, was overtly sexualized

and wore skin-tight clothing with sexually suggestive video angles. Meanwhile, all of the other

men have padding and protection in their suits. Not only does this affect the way men view


 women, but it also affects the way young women see themselves. We shouldn’t be teaching

women that their bodies are all they have to offer to the world.

If we want things to change, our sex education in America needs to be better. As of 2018, only 8

states required their sex ed to mention consent, these 8 being California, the District of

Columbia, Hawaii, New Jersey, North Carolina, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont, and West

Virginia. On top of that, only 24 states mandate sex ed in the first place. High school is the time

to be actively and repeatedly teaching children about consent, what is consent, and what isn’t.

And if you need a place to start, Planned Parenthood uses an easy acronym to remember in

regards to consent, FRIES, that it is Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and

Specific.

If you’d like to see my bibliographies and personal recommendations, all of this information can

be found on my project website, [Link]. I look forward to our

journey together of becoming better humans. I hope you learned a little here today, and I’ll see

you next time on Something Insightful.