FMP Writing Part: Main Script
Characters:
Ness (N) – intern for East Enders’ writing department.
Ness’ conscience (C) – a separate ‘character’ to Ness in a performance standard;
though cannot be heard by other characters, speaks to Ness via voiceover.
Producer (P) – Ness' boss; side character.
Performance Blurb:
An intern for the East Enders writing department, Ness, failed her elevator pitch
to get her first plotline idea into development – wasting a literal hour of the
producer’s time thanks to her inability to communicate verbally. This is a
recurring problem for her and she knows it. She decided to write an apology letter
to the producer, but in the process, has a conversation with herself about
alternate ways to communicate and discovers a new plotline within the TV soap
that she calls her life.
Scene 1: (Ness, Producer)
Ness is seen trying to get her words out, mainly coming out with erms and the like. Producer is
standing next to her, trying to get an understanding of what she is trying to say – they are
clearly frustrated and tired of the conversation.
C: OOC Audio description – An 18 year old white woman with shoulder-length blonde hair is
wearing [costume]. She is standing next to [producer description in costume], and she is
struggling to speak. The woman is very nervous and [producer] pinches the bridge of [their]
nose.
P: Ness. Look, kid, you’ve got to stop, okay? This isn’t going anywhere.
N: Looks at Producer with worry. Huh?
P: Looks at their watch and rubs their face in frustration. It’s been, what, like 20 minutes and I
still have no idea about your plotline. For god’s sake – it's an elevator pitch not a TED talk! In
fact, it’s not even that, most of the time hosts actually know what they’re talking about.
N: Becomes very glum, staring down at her feet. Sorry...
P: Okay, last chance: do you know who is involved with this plot?
N: Has already blanked. Uhhhh...
P: Do we need to cast any new characters?
N: I’m not...sure...
P: Is the plot political or triggering??
N: It’s...erm...
P: Groans and puts their head in their hands. I think I’ve heard enough. I’ve got to go, Ness;
you’ve made me 15 minutes late for an important meeting... Starts to mumble as they walk
offstage.
Ness starts to panic and tries to get Producer’s attention again, to no avail. She kicks at the floor
in a huff before sitting down. Voiceover (Conscience) starts to speak.
C: Well, that was successful.
N: Rolls her eyes. Yeah... successful.
C: Was that the best you could do? Like, seriously? You’ve been practicing for an entire week,
and you didn’t get past the first sentence.
Ness doesn’t respond.
Listening to the real thing was almost as bad as hearing you drone on practicing.
N: Oh, shut up!
