Does mental health affect and impinge on family relationships?

By, Dr. Niall Campbell

A survey showed that more than 80% of patients agreed that their mental health conditions had had a
detrimental effect on their family.

Mental health issues can be an extremely painful and traumatic time for all of the family and have huge
impact on a family's financial and emotional components. When it comes to mental illness, the
emotional and behavioural consequences for family members go largely ignored. It is clear that
individuals' mental health problems have consequences for others within their social networks, most
notably, their family.

Looking after a family member with a mental illness can be an extremely stressful time and coping with
the stress may rouse various reactions such as somatic problems (migraines, loss of appetite, fatigue,
insomnia), cognitive and emotional problems (anxiety, depression, guilt, fear, anger, confusion) and
behavioural troubles (changes in attitude, and social withdrawal).

According to a Swedish study, one half of family members claimed they had developed psychological or
social problems (such as sleeping problems and depression) of their own, to such an extent that they
also needed help and support. Commented [PS1]: so the family tried helping the person
with their mental health issues and ended up gaining issues
of their own?
However, whilst the influence of poor mental health on families is largely misunderstood, the
consequences are extremely apparent to those actually suffering from mental illness. Those surveyed by
The Priory Group reported that their emotions and behaviour put "extra stress" on their family, with one
patient reporting that: "my addiction affected everyone close to me." Another mentioned that they
"isolated" their family and some even reported being physically violent towards members of their own
family. Nearly all mentioned that their loved ones became upset and worried about them.

Another area highlighted by the survey was the effect that mental health had on patients' children.
Children are often too young to fully grasp the consequences of mental illness and find it difficult to
understand why their parent isn't well or is acting unusually. Therefore, many tend to blame themselves
and grow up feeling different, lonely, and isolated. Ultimately this may lead to the child developing
psychological, behavioural, and social problems of their own. Commented [PS2]: why do children believe its their fault
that their parent is having issues?
Family life can become unsettled and unpredictable as the needs of the ill become paramount. Studies
show that a large number of family members have had to, on one or more occasions, leave their job,
whilst others said they have had to give up their recreational pursuits. Social lives are usually the first to
go as they may feel nervous about inviting people into their home and find it difficult to open up to
people about their relative's problems. Commented [PS3]: I don't understand why some people
would be embarrassed that a relative has mental health
issues, its just something that happens that cant be helped
Dr Niall Campbell (MBBS, MRCPsych), Consultant Psychiatrist at Priory Hospital Roehampton (London):
and has become apart of life for millions of people.
"It is easy for family members to feel guilt or blame themselves for their relative's decline in mental
health. For a long time, parents and other family members were the focus of blame for the occurrence
of psychological problems.

"This was largely due to Freud's early psychoanalytic theory which states that problems in adulthood are
due to early childhood experiences. Other psychological theories have developed since then and we
now know that the family actually plays a huge role in their relative's recovery.

"It has always been clear to us how much illness and addiction can affect a patient's family. This survey
was excellent in outlining the main areas and relationships that are influenced. At Priory, we always try
to treat holistically so that the family are always involved and understand what is happening."
The challenges of growing up with a parent who has a
mental illness

By Wendy Wisner

One in five adults live with mental illness, so it stands to reason that there are many
children out there who are raised by parents who battle mental illness. Mental illness
encompasses many disorders — from bipolar disorder to depression — and range in
severity from mild to severe.

It should be mentioned that there are many brave, strong parents who are in treatment
for their mental illness and can parent their children with stability and love. But this is
not always the case. Children who are raised by parents with untreated or severe mental
illness are going to feel the effects, whether they are aware of what’s happening at the
time or not. Commented [PS4]: my mother has mental illnesses and is
on many medications but it didn't help her, in fact it made
her worse. I don't think it 100% matters if its treated or
untreated it'll still affect the child.
Effects of Parental Mental Illness on Kids

Growing up with a parent who is mentally ill “can lead to a child feeling uncertain,
anxious, and neglected,” says Talkspace therapist Kimberly Leitch, LCSW-R. Life can be
unstable and unpredictable, and children may not learn proper coping skills. “Instead of Commented [PS5]: I'm not sure if this is incorporating a
parents mental illness or just saying generally life is
adapting healthy coping skills they can learn early on negative coping skills through unstable, I say this because I believe life isn't easy, I don't
observation,” Leitch explains. think its meant to be easy.
Commented [PS6]: I’m happy this says “can” because its
not every case where they learn bad coping skills. My
What’s more, many parents who are mentally ill self-medicate — perhaps turning to grandmother was an alcoholic that abused my mother, my
mother and uncle never went to alcohol as they got older. I
drugs or alcohol to quell their symptoms. This is a maladaptive behavior that can be also recall a article i read about two sons that grew up with
passed along to a child. an alcoholic father, one grew up and went to alcohol and
the other one never touched it. So everyone copes with
things in their own way.
Commented [PS7]: As i said everyone takes onto these
Children can develop anxiety disorders based on the frightening ways that their parent things differently, they may or may not.
behaves, often without having a way to process this behavior. Leitch gives the example
of a parent who suffers with bipolar disorder and experiences manic episodes.
“A child won’t always understand that it is not normal behavior,” says Leitch, adding that
the same idea stands for depressive episodes and behaviors. “They will not necessarily
understand that this is what happens when their parent is sick, this is how their parent
is,” she explains.

Normalization of Irregular Behavior in a Child’s Eyes

Part of what makes growing up this way so challenging is that most children aren’t
aware that their parent is mentally ill. They believe that the way they live and are
parented is completely normal.

“A child who gets read to and tucked in every night by their parent most likely assumes
that every child experiences that because that is their norm,” Leitch says. “Having a Commented [PS8]: when I was young, I saw movies of
children being tucked into bed and being read a book and I
mentally ill parent can lead to social rejection, social issues, and dissolution of the family, wanted that. I cant recall if it had ever happened though.
but a child may not be aware that the parent is the cause.”

To cope, many children end up becoming the caretakers of their parents — unaware
that they are being tasked with something that is beyond what should be expected of a
child. This can lead to feelings of abandonment, isolation, trust issues, and low self-
esteem, Leitch describes. Commented [PS9]: look at me getting called out, this is
literally how I feel. I've felt like each of those things at the
same time, different times and I've only felt isolated while
with my father. which is why I rarely go to see him, I can't
How Resilience Allows Children to Lead a Normal Life handle that feeling while around him.

However, there may be silver lining to all of this. Although recovering from being raised
by a mentally ill parent can be extremely difficult, it is possible. Many children grow up
to be resilient adults who are able to rise above the pain that ensued during childhood.

In her research, Lynne McCormack, a psychologist from the University of Newcastle,

Australia, found that there are three attributes that recovering adults who have been
raised by mentally ill parents exhibit: “unexpected growth in empathy and compassion,
high resourcefulness, and personal authenticity through higher education.”
Furthermore, as McMormack explains, her findings show that it is possible to positively
redefine your identity even after enduring the trauma tied to living with a parent who is
mentally ill. Commented [PS10]: I don't like thinking of what I went
through as trauma, what I went through was an obstacle
that taught me many things and allowed me to grow so
close with my mother that I can freely talk with her about
To get that place takes self-awareness, self-love, and acknowledgment and acceptance anything.
of your parent as a person who is mentally ill. In some cases, you may have inherited
your parent’s mental illness either genetically (bipolar disorder and schizophrenia have a
genetic link, says Leitch) or through learned behavior from childhood. Getting treated
for that – and understanding it within the context of your upbringing – is vital.