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Good vs. Bad Writing Examples

The good paragraph immediately sets the topic of abnormally wet weather in 1816 Europe, discusses rainfall statistics from a cited source, and describes common indoor activities at the time without modern technology. The bad paragraph starts with an off-topic sentence, states an uncited fact, jumps to discussing Mary Shelley's inspiration for writing Frankenstein without a clear progression, and contains errors.

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281 views2 pages

Good vs. Bad Writing Examples

The good paragraph immediately sets the topic of abnormally wet weather in 1816 Europe, discusses rainfall statistics from a cited source, and describes common indoor activities at the time without modern technology. The bad paragraph starts with an off-topic sentence, states an uncited fact, jumps to discussing Mary Shelley's inspiration for writing Frankenstein without a clear progression, and contains errors.

Uploaded by

b j h
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd

Good Writing Sample Paragraph:

The weather in 1816 Europe was abnormally wet, keeping many inhabitants indoors that
summer. From April until September of that year, "it rained in Switzerland on 130 out of the
183 days from April to September" (Phillips, 2006). Unlike today, one could not simply turn
on a television or click through the Internet in order to entertain oneself. Instead, it was much
more common for the educated people of the day to spend time reading, discussing well-
known authors and artists of the day, playing at cards and walking in their gardens and
walking paths.

Why is this good writing?


1. The introductory sentence immediately tells the audience your topic.
2. The opening paragraph supports the opening sentence.
3. The second paragraph supports the first paragraph.
4. There are no spelling errors, and the writing is clear and concise.

Bad Writing Sample Paragraph:

I hate wet and reiny days.

It rained a lot in 1816.... a lot - like everyday; the weather in Europe was abnormally wet
because it rained in Switzerland on 130 out of the 183 days from April to September. If I was
Mary Shelley I might decide to write a book too. Afterall, it was the onnly thing you could do
without TV or anything. She said that she "passed the summer of 1816 in the environs of
Geneva...we occasionally amused ourselves with some German stories of ghosts... These
tales excited in us a playful desire of imitation" So, people were stuck inside and bored.
Mary Shelley decided to write a book becuase it was so awful outside. I can totally see her
point, you know? I guess I would write a novel if there was nothing else to do.

What's not so good here?


5. The opening sentence is not on target, and it has a spelling error.
6. The second sentence states a fact, but no cited source is provided - plagiarism!
7. The rest of the paragraph begins to discuss the topic, but not clearly enough to allow
the audience to see where you are heading.
8. The quote used does little to support the opening sentences.
9. Grammar errors and run on sentences are present as well.

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