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The Playful Way to

Knowing Yourself: A
Creative Workbook to
Inspire Self-Discovery

Roberta Allen

Houghton Mifflin Company

The Playful Way to Knowing Yourself
Books by Roberta Allen

Nonfiction
Amazon Dream
Fast Fiction
The Playful Way to Serious Writing
The Playful Way to Knowing Yourself

Fiction
The Traveling Woman
The Daughter
Certain People
The Dreaming Girl
The Playful Way to Knowing Yourself
A Creative Workbook to Inspire Self-Discovery

Roberta Allen

Houghton Mifflin Company Boston New York 2003

Photographs by the author

All rights reserved

For information about permission to reproduce selections

from this book, write to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Company,
215 Park Avenue South, New York, New York 10003.

Visit our Web site: www.houghtonmifflinbooks.com.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Allen, Roberta, date.
The playful way to knowing yourself : a creative workbook
to inspire self-discovery / Roberta Allen.
p. cm.
ISBN 0-618-26924-X
1. Self-perception—Problems, exercises, etc. I. Title.
BF697.5.S43A44 2003
158.1—dc21 2002191293

Printed in the United States of America

RRD 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
This book is for everyone who is searching
The Playful Way to Knowing Yourself
One day as I walked along a beautiful beach under a
bright blue sky, I glanced at a woman in a chaise longue—
a tourist like myself—and wondered, when she looked at
the sky, if we saw the same blue. Was the shade she saw
determined by the margarita she was drinking or by an
argument she had had with her husband? Was the blue I
saw determined by the elation I felt over giving myself
this vacation?

1
Who was I here on this tropical isle? Was I the writer
who had just finished a book? Was I the artist who drew
pictures and took photographs? Who was I with my
boyfriend? My family? My friends? My colleagues? My
students? There are so many different parts of me,
I mused. Are some parts more real than others?

2
The day I was thinking these thoughts I could have
chosen to explore more of the island. But, instead, I sat
in a chair by my cottage on the beach and opened a
sketchbook I had brought just in case I felt the impulse
to write or draw. I began jotting down ideas that became
the basis for this book.

3
As an artist, I’ve always been interested in how we see
ourselves and the world. I’ve always been interested in
breaking down barriers of rational thinking so we may
see beyond our usual limits, beyond the demands of our
everyday lives, into our spirit, our soul.

4
Our views of ourselves are limited by our experience and
by what we’ve been taught. My aim here is to redirect
your focus instantly so you see yourself and the world
in ways that not only ring true, but surprise you.

5
As a writer, I’ve always been impressed by the power of
words: how writing things down helps us find what is
true. As a teacher, I’ve seen how a single word, such as
“envy” or “leaf,” triggers a different response when each
student is asked to write about it.

6
Sometimes when I see my students writing with great
intensity, I am reminded of the faces I drew with that
same intensity when I was a child. Those faces were my
companions, my friends. They kept me company in my
loneliest hours. Since I was not allowed by my mother
and grandmother to play or get dirty, all my pent-up
energy—my “aliveness”—went into my drawing.

7
I put so much pressure on the pencil when I drew that I
deformed my middle finger. But that still seems to me
a small price to pay. Years later, I would realize that
pressure brings energy to the surface. Years later, I
would call that “aliveness” energy.

8
I remember how afraid I was the day before I left on my
journey alone to the Peruvian Amazon, and how alive I
felt when, two days later, I walked the streets of
Iquitos, Peru’s largest Amazonian town. All my senses
felt heightened. The hot, sweet-smelling air made me
feel as though I were in a greenhouse.

9
I felt present, connected. I saw myself and the world
from a state of “aliveness,” in which I was no longer
separate and alone but part of something much greater
than myself.

10
I did not realize until later the tremendous energy that
had been locked inside my fear. Living my childhood
dream of going to the Amazon (where I could play and
get dirty) allowed me to release that energy and let the
“aliveness” out.

11
Though each one of us is unique, I believe we are all
connected. We are all part of a much larger picture.
What we see is a very small part. This book is my
attempt to help you see more of yourself and others.

12
There are no right or wrong answers to the exercises in
this book. There are only your answers. Your answers are
unique to you. No one else sees life exactly the way you
see it.

13
This book offers a unique approach that allows you to
see yourself from angles and perspectives you would not
otherwise see. All you need to do is be open-minded,
curious, and willing to respond instantly and imaginatively
to exercises that invite you to explore your memories
and beliefs, your desires and dreams, your secrets and
fears, and how you relate to others.

14
The process is simple, easy, and fun. At the very least,
you will get surprising glimpses of yourself. At best, you
will have deep insights that lead you to action or to
accepting yourself just as you are.

15
Do the exercises quickly and spontaneously. If you are
someone who tends to pause and think, use a timer. As
soon as you read the question and look at the picture,
set it for two, three, or four minutes and go! The time
limit you choose will depend upon the amount of space
provided and how fast you write. Experiment to find
out. By using this method, you bypass the judge inside
you who might censor your response.

16
When you do each exercise, notice whether or not it has
energy for you; notice whether or not it makes you feel
more alive. Energy is the spark that ignites when you
connect with a place, a creature, a work of art, a sunset,
a symphony, another human being. Energy is the invisible
force behind the words. That invisible force is often
locked inside a shell of fear and bursts forth when you
break that shell.

17
An exercise with energy makes you feel something—even if
it is just for a moment. The feeling may be faint or
intense: you may feel sad or happy, excited or distressed.
Feeling more alive is not always feeling good. Give
yourself permission to feel whatever comes up. Your
emotions are part of you and part of this process.

18
You know you’ve tapped something important in yourself
when your exercise has a lot of energy. In order for that
to happen, allow yourself to write whatever comes to
mind, no matter how silly it may sound to you, how
nonsensical, foolish, or even scary! Follow your energy
wherever it leads you. Allow yourself to be who you are.

19
Be brief. Use the space provided for each exercise. Get
to the heart of what you’re saying as soon as you can.
This will keep you from writing endlessly, straying off
course, and losing your initial energy. Your exercises
should be the verbal equivalent of quick artist sketches,
in which a model is captured with just a few strokes.

20
As you go through this book, you will have opportunities
to pause and reflect on previous exercises and to
continue the ones that are most charged or that feel
incomplete. Keep a notebook handy for this purpose.

21
Not every exercise will have energy for you. When you
draw a blank on one exercise, go on to the next. If you
find yourself resisting an exercise, come back to it
later. Do the ones that come easily.

22
Years ago I had a masseur who started each session with
the words “It ’s not serious.” As he worked on my tense
back, relaxing all the muscles, he continued saying “It ’s
not serious” till it became a kind of chant. Eventually
my back problems disappeared, but the words “It ’s not
serious” stayed in my mind.

23
The things that made me so tense seem laughable now.
At the time, I was the freelance art director of a French
food company, overwhelmed by deadlines.

Joel, my masseur, was right. It wasn’t serious. Remember

those words when doing the exercises in this book.

24
The loosening-up exercises that begin each of the four
sections are intended to get you going. Read each
question and quickly write whatever comes to mind.

25
Loosening-up exercise
If you were asked to choose seven words to describe
yourself, what would they be?

1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________
6. ____________________
7. ____________________

26
Loosening-up exercise
If you were asked to choose seven objects that have
meaning for you, what objects would you choose?

1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________
6. ____________________
7. ____________________

27
Loosening-up exercise
If you were asked to choose seven colors that have
meaning for you, what colors would you choose?

1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________
6. ____________________
7. ____________________

28
Loosening-up exercise
If you were asked to choose seven places that have
meaning for you, what places would you choose?

1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________
6. ____________________
7. ____________________

29
30
Imagine looking in this mirror. What do you see about
yourself that you like? What do you see that you dislike?

_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________

31
What keeps you balanced?

32
33
What keeps you from being still?

34
35
36
What relaxes you?

37
38
What gives you pleasure?

39
What is holding you back?

40
41
42
What makes you different?

43
What makes you shine?

44
45
46
Imagine wanting to impress this woman. What would you
say about yourself?

47
What is your idea of perfection?

48
49
What is she hearing about you?

50
51
52
What fascinates you?

53
54
Who or what is she looking at that ’s more important
than you?

55
What can you do to simplify your life?

56
57
Imagine finding this figure drawn in the sand. Is it a
circle? A zero? The letter “O”? Relate this figure to
your life.

58
59
Imagine finding the number “2” drawn in the sand. What
comes to mind when you look at this figure?

60
61
62
What makes you feel loved?

63
What risks have you taken?

64
65
What challenges lie ahead?

66
67
68
Imagine yourself here watching a beautiful sunset. What
are you grateful for?

What are you grateful for in the place where you are
right now?

69
If she could foresee one accomplishment in your future,
what would you like it to be?

70
71
Review #1
Take time now to go back and look over the exercises
you’ve done. Use your notebook to answer the next three
questions:

1. Which of your answers surprise you? Why?

2. Is there any one exercise that feels more charged than

the others? See where that energy takes you when you
continue. Stop as soon as the energy runs out.

72
3. Are there any other exercises that feel charged? Are
there exercises that feel incomplete? Go with your
energy. Complete those exercises now. You know an
exercise is finished when your energy is spent and the
exercise feels complete.

73
74
What insights about yourself have come to light?

75
Loosening-up exercise
What words would you use to describe your mother?

1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________
6. ____________________
7. ____________________

76
Loosening-up exercise
What words would you use to describe your father?

1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________
6. ____________________
7. ____________________

77
Loosening-up exercise
What words would your mother use to describe you?

1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________
6. ____________________
7. ____________________

78
Loosening-up exercise
What words would your father use to describe you?

1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________
6. ____________________
7. ____________________

79
Imagine someone important to you sitting in this chair.
What would you say to this person that you’ve never
said before?

80
81
What emotional storms have you weathered?

82
83
If you could, what parts of yourself would you throw out?

84
85
86
Imagine three people who know you well sitting in these
chairs and discussing your problems. Who are they and
what are they saying?

87
What is it about you that is making this person anxious?

88
89
What have you done that no one knows about?

90
91
What roles come to mind when you look at this man? Do
you play the same roles? Does someone close to you?

92
93
94
What are you afraid of exposing about yourself?

95
Imagine this woman seeing you exactly the way you want
to be seen. What does she see?

96
97
98
What part of you is locked inside this house?

What can you do to free that part of yourself?

99
What door have you closed?

100
101
What have you left undone?

102
103
What makes you feel vulnerable?

104
105
106
What does she know about you that no one else knows?

107
What could these boys teach you? What could you teach
them?

108
109
What message just for you is hidden in this ancient
writing?

110
111
Review #2
Take time now to go back and look over the exercises
you’ve done. Use your notebook to answer the next three
questions:

1. Which of your answers surprise you? Why?

2. Is there any one exercise that feels more charged than

the others? See where that energy takes you when you
continue. Stop as soon as the energy runs out.

112
3. Are there any other exercises that feel charged?
Are there exercises that feel incomplete? Go with your
energy. Complete those exercises now. You know an
exercise is finished when your energy is spent and the
exercise feels complete.

113
114
What insights about yourself have come to light?

115
Loosening-up exercise
What words would you use to describe your spouse,
partner, or best friend?

1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________
6. ____________________
7. ____________________

116
Loosening-up exercise
What words would you use to describe your enemies?

1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________
6. ____________________
7. ____________________

117
Loosening-up exercise
What words would your spouse, partner, or best friend
use to describe you?

1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________
6. ____________________
7. ____________________

118
Loosening-up exercise
What words would your enemies use to describe you?

1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________
6. ____________________
7. ____________________

119
What are you holding on to from the past?

120
121
Do you see something of yourself in this little girl? If
so, what?

122
123
124
What makes life magical?

125
If you were to give this baby something you lacked early
in life, what would it be?

126
127
128
If you were to tell this boy what you value most in life,
what would you say?

129
What could this man say or do to make you angry?

What could this man say or do to make you happy?

130
131
132
What would make you feel the way this woman feels?

133
134
What makes life juicy?

135
What do you hunger for?

136
137
Imagine telling your deepest secrets to the person
behind this door. What are you saying?

138
139
If you were superstitious, and this black cat crossed
your path, what would you be afraid might happen?

140
141
142
What fears do you have in common with this little girl?
What fears have you overcome?

143
144
What game is she playing with you? What games do you
play with others?

145
What is behind this door that you want?

Imagine having the key. What is stopping you from

opening the door?

146
147
If you could go anywhere you wanted right now, where
would you go?

148
149
150
What makes you feel lonely?

151
152
Imagine this man telling you something important,
something you need to hear. What is he saying?

153
154
Imagine something wonderful happening to you in this
house. What is it?

155
Review #3
Take time now to go back and look over the exercises
you’ve done. Use your notebook to answer the next three
questions:

1. Which of your answers surprise you? Why?

2. Is there any one exercise that feels more charged than

the others? See where that energy takes you when you
continue. Stop as soon as the energy runs out.

156
3. Are there any other exercises that feel charged? Are
there exercises that feel incomplete? Go with your
energy. Complete those exercises now. You know an
exercise is finished when your energy is spent and the
exercise feels complete.

157
158
What insights about yourself have come to light?

159
Loosening-up exercise
What feelings describe you?

1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________
6. ____________________
7. ____________________

160
Loosening-up exercise
What habits describe you?

1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________
6. ____________________
7. ____________________

161
Loosening-up exercise
What beliefs describe you?

1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________
6. ____________________
7. ____________________

162
Loosening-up exercise
What else describes you?

1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________
6. ____________________
7. ____________________

163
If you were lost, what would help you find your way?

164
165
166
What makes you a survivor?

167
What keeps you going?

168
169
170
What other worlds entice you?

171
What divides you?

172
173
What makes you feel whole?

174
175
176
If you were to give her one piece of advice about life,
what would you say?

177
What inspires you?

178
179
180
What makes you feel small?

181
182
Whom do you look down upon?

183
184
What don’t you understand?

185
What is left when you take everything away?

186
187
What do you hold sacred?

188
189
Imagine this man giving you sound advice. What is he
saying?

190
191
192
Imagine yourself floating among these clouds in harmony
with everyone and everything. What can you do to make
that happen?

193
Where are you going? Where would you like to be in five
years?

194
195
196
What mysteries have you glimpsed?

197
What would you like to leave behind?

198
199
Review #4
Take time now to go back and look over the exercises
you’ve done. Use your notebook to answer the next three
questions:

1. Which of your answers surprise you? Why?

2. Is there any one exercise that feels more charged

than the others? See where that energy takes you when
you continue. Stop as soon as the energy runs out.

200
3. Are there any other exercises that feel charged? Are
there exercises that feel incomplete? Go with your
energy. Complete those exercises now. You know an
exercise is finished when your energy is spent and the
exercise feels complete.

201
202
What insights about yourself have come to light?

203
You have come to the end of the book, but you haven’t
come to the end of this process. Now is the time to
consider how to use what you’ve learned about yourself.
Read the following questions. Use your notebook to
respond.

204
1. Who might benefit from what you have discovered?

2. What actions might you take now that you wouldn’t

have taken before?

3. What can you now accept about yourself?

205
4. What else would you like to know about yourself?

5. Now that you’ve tapped into your energy, can you

think of ways to tap into it more often? Are there
thoughts, such as “It ’s not serious,” or images from
this book or your own imagination, that you can focus
your attention on, to help you feel more alive?

206
Just because you’ve done the exercises once doesn’t
mean you can’t go back and start all over again. The
same exercises will elicit different responses at
different times—all of which may be true.

207
Your responses may change with your moods, with the
weather, with the seasons, with time. As the Greek
philosopher Heraclitus once said, You can’t step in the
same river twice.

208
If you would like more information about the Playful
Way method or my workshops, seminars, and creativity
coaching, please e-mail me at [email protected].
You can also visit my Web sites:

http://hometown.aol.com/Roall
www.playfulway.com

209
Acknowledgments
Many thanks to my editor, Susan Canavan, for her support. A special
thanks to Lorrie Bodger for her generosity and advice. Joel Agee
once again offered valuable suggestions. Thanks also to my agent,
DeAnna Heindel. And last but not least, Craig.

211
JERRY BAUER

Roberta Allen is a creativity

coach and the author of The
Playful Way to Serious Writing
and Fast Fiction: Creating
Fiction in Five Minutes. She has
also written two collections of
stories, The Traveling Woman
and Certain People; a novella in
stories, The Daughter; a novel,
The Dreaming Girl; and a travel
memoir, Amazon Dream. Allen is on the faculty of the New School
University and has taught in the writing program at Columbia Uni-
versity and in numerous private workshops. She is also a visual
artist who has exhibited worldwide, with work in the collection of
the Metropolitan Museum of Art and Bibliothèque du France, Paris.
She lives in New York City.

213
Also available:

The Playful Way to Serious Writing

An Anything-Can-Happen Workbook
to Inspire and Delight
“Probably the only how-to-write
book that will guarantee results
.º.º. Roberta Allen’s approach
turns the dread of writing
into a creative, puzzle-solving
personal adventure.”
—ANNE BERNAYS,
coauthor of What If?
$14.00, ISBN 0-618-19729-X

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The Playful Way to

Houghton Mifflin Company

Houghton Mifflin Company Boston New York 2003

Photographs by the author

All rights reserved

For information about permission to reproduce selections

Visit our Web site: www.houghtonmifflinbooks.com.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Printed in the United States of America

Joel, my masseur, was right. It wasn’t serious. Remember

1. Which of your answers surprise you? Why?

2. Is there any one exercise that feels more charged than

What can you do to free that part of yourself?

1. Which of your answers surprise you? Why?

2. Is there any one exercise that feels more charged than

What could this man say or do to make you happy?

Imagine having the key. What is stopping you from

1. Which of your answers surprise you? Why?

2. Is there any one exercise that feels more charged than

1. Which of your answers surprise you? Why?

2. Is there any one exercise that feels more charged

2. What actions might you take now that you wouldn’t

3. What can you now accept about yourself?

5. Now that you’ve tapped into your energy, can you

Roberta Allen is a creativity

The Playful Way to Serious Writing

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