CD: No, you don’t even have to worry about it, you’re in good hands.
CD: of course Adam, I promise you everything will be cast by the end of the day
CD: I’m sorry will you hold on one second, you have to go? Yeah that’s fine, but I promise you
everything will be set and cast, this year's production of Romeo and Juliet will be the best it’s
ever been. Yup, alright, bye
CD: Rodger!
Rodger: yeah
CD: what are you doing
Rodger: I’m texting my friend, I’m supposed to help her tonight
CD: well is that what your supposed to be doing?
Rodger: (looks up) I hope so (looks down)
CD: No, I told you to set up the tables and chairs for the auditions, and then see if anyone had
come yet
Rodger: oh yeah, they’re all here
CD: what, why I told you to tell then to come at 3:30, it’s only 2:30?
Rodger: yeah you said to be and and the actors to be here at 2:30, it’s something we should pin
for miscommunication.
CD: alright, just send in the first one
As you can see, our casting director has gotten herself into a little bit of a mess, but she doesn’t
know the auditions she about to see, i guess that’s why what I’ll be interpreting is called Bad
auditions by bad actors, by Ian Mcwethy.
CD: Can you please bring in the first one Rodger
Rodger: alright bet, I told them to come in one after the other
CD: and you can read the lines if necessary?
Rodger: yes
Coach: walk in nice and steady, and now go in for the handshake
Narissa: hello, my name is narissa, thank you for seeing me
Coach, a little rude but keep going
CD: I’m sorry, you are?
Coach: hi I’m her acting coach and I’m staying for moral support, but you won’t even notice me,
like a fly on the wall
CD: alright, go ahead then, you’re auditioning for the role of Juliet, correct?
Narissa: yes I memorized my monologue all week
Coach: a little conceited but that’s alright, just keep going narissa
CD: alright whenever your ready
Narissa: Romeo Romero, where for art thou Romeo
Coach: remember narissa, your constants
Narissa: RoMEO RoMEO, whERE for art thOU RoMEO
Coach: remember for projection
Narissa: ROMEO ROMEO WHERE FOR ART THOU ROMEO, DENY THY FATHER AND
REFUSE THY NAME
CD: alright I think we got enough of what we needed, thank you for coming
Coach: did she do a good job
CD: not with you here, bye
Coach: alright Rodger, send the next one in
Joe: hey, I’m Joe Romano, and I’m here for whatever they’re reading outside
CD: the audition?
Joe: yeah, let’s start
CD: alright, well Rodger will be reading with you
Joe: a guy? Wouldn’t wanna be him
CD: let’s just start
CD: I’m sorry, but why are you so angry, the scene is about love and passion, not anger
Joe: yeah, it’s like, I love you so much I WANNA HIT THE WALL
CD: yeah, I think we got everything we need, thank you for coming
Joe: yeah I’ll be back tomorrow for the rehearsal
CD: yeah, but before you come back, might I suggest therapy, bye, send in the next one Rodger
Megra: hello I’m here for the auditions, but if you don’t mind might I do my warmups before we
start, I can’t do it without them
CD: I’ll let it happen just this once
Megra: *caws like a bird* * starts fake crying* *starts coughing*
CD: Rodger call 911, I think she’s having an asthma attack
Megra: *stops* oh no I’m fine, just my warm ups, also quick question, is this the theater in which
we will be preforming
CD: yes
Megra: these acoustics are unacceptable, these shabby curtains will drown out my constants, if
doesn’t even matter if I audition because of how bad it is, call me when upgrades are made
CD: send in the next one Rodger
Rodger: that was it
CD: that was it, what am I supposed to do now *phone rings* oh no. Hi Adam, did I cast it, well
no not yet, yes I know I was supposed to cast it today but if there was anyone half decent I
would have cast it *hold microphone*
Rodger: hey, can I go home now, my friend needs me
CD: actually Rodger how do you and your friend feel about Shakespeare
