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Eliminating Clutter Exercise

The document provides 6 sentences for an exercise on revising sentences to remove clutter and clarify meaning. The sentences are about: 1) new red bricks that look used, 2) a student lacking ability to write for class due to incomplete reading, 3) India having two kinds of business and needing justice and equal treatment, 4) some individuals requiring assistance while others did not, 5) illegible handwriting preventing reading comments on a paper, and 6) a skating coach recommending more practice time for a partner and speaker.

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Nguyen Duc Nghia
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190 views1 page

Eliminating Clutter Exercise

The document provides 6 sentences for an exercise on revising sentences to remove clutter and clarify meaning. The sentences are about: 1) new red bricks that look used, 2) a student lacking ability to write for class due to incomplete reading, 3) India having two kinds of business and needing justice and equal treatment, 4) some individuals requiring assistance while others did not, 5) illegible handwriting preventing reading comments on a paper, and 6) a skating coach recommending more practice time for a partner and speaker.

Uploaded by

Nguyen Duc Nghia
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOC, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd

Eliminating Clutter Exercise

Clarity/Conciseness: Revise the following sentences to remove clutter, eliminate


wordiness, and clarify meaning.

(1) The bricks on our new house are red in color and in spite of the fact that they are new; the
look of these bricks is a used, beat-up appearance.

(2) Due to the fact that he hadn’t totally and completely read all the material, he lacked in the
ability to do the writing for the purpose of the class exercise.

(3) India has two main kinds of business. Indians need to pay attention to getting justice for all,
and they also need to be sure that everyone is treated alike.

(4) It is interesting to note that numerous individuals required assistance, whereas, the
remainder took a pass.

(5) I was not facilitated in reading her comments she had written in my paper because of the
handwriting that was illegible and therefore could not be read.

(6) Our skating coach made the recommendation saying that my partner and I should put more
time into our practicing.

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