BEAUTIFUL BEGINNINGS

A supplement to
the jewish standard
Winter 2016

2016
READERS
CHOICE

FIRST place

CATERER
KOSHER CATERER

S-3 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2016

BEAUTIFUL BEGINNINGS

Fairy tale or fantasy?............................... 4

Local wedding mavens make the event
beyond the ordinary

From Hillel to chuppahs........................... 6

Wedding motifs send a message............. 8
Making a bridal emergency kit................ 9
Decor Looking Up.................................. 10
Ceiling wedding trends

Tips for a successful second wedding.... 12

Weddings afloat..................................... 13
Registry regrets..................................... 14
When it comes to gifts, be careful what you ask for
ON THE COVER: Michael and Alyson Chananie at their May 29, 2016
wedding at Congregation Bnai Tikvah in North Brunswick.
Photo by The Ira Rosen Studio,www.IraRosenStudio.com

LET US CREATE A LIFETIME OF

MEMORIES FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY

makdavidhospitality.com
www.maineventmauzone.com
212-579-7700 201-894-8710

A coating of snow adds to a fairy-tale feel.

Fairy tale W
or fantasy?

Heidi Mae Bratt

Local wedding mavens make

the event beyond the ordinary

ith a slew of recent

movies and smash
Broadway shows based
on favorite childhood
stories such as Beauty
and the Beast, Cinderella, Snow White, and
Sleeping Beauty, it is clear that fairy tales
have made a big comeback. Crowds continue to be drawn to the tales, which feature the fair maiden and, of course, her
Prince Charming. The romantic simplicity,
coupled with elements of grandeur, serve
as a model for some, an antidote to modern woes for others, and yet for others, a
diversion from everyday humdrum.
When it comes to a wedding, what little
girl hasnt dreamed of her one-day nuptials
as being her own version of a fairy tale and
fantasy? Many girls have imagined what

that day would be like, from what kind

of dress they would wear, to what kind of
bouquet she would toss to her guests, to
what kind of venue she would celebrate
with loved ones. These thoughts roll
around her young mind even before she
has thought about what kind of groom she
wants! She may have found her mothers
peau de soie white wedding shoes tucked
in the back of the closet and stepped into
them, or, she may have located the wedding veil her mom wore and tried it on,
parading before a mirror. Or, in another
rite-of-passage, these young girls may
have taken their Barbie dolls their Dr.
Barbies or CEO Barbies down the aisle
in style during play in their bedrooms or
basements, with friends or by themselves,
rehearsing for their sometime-in-thefuture wedding day.
Then they grow up.
Local wedding mavens know how

S-5 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2016

BEAUTIFUL BEGINNINGS

important the wedding day is for brides

and grooms, and each, in their own way
works to create a day that is very special
a fairy tale or a fantasy for the wedding couple.
At the Estate at Florentine Gardens in
River Vale, the venue itself can evoke a
fairy tale wedding from the get-go, said
Maria Daidone, owner of the family-owned
spot known for its lush manicured gardens, architecturally traditional edifice,
and romantic touches throughout.
From the moment you enter the main
building, its first impression is palace-like,
said Ms. Daidone. The lobby is a splendid
entryway featuring a sweeping staircase,

Local wedding mavens

know how important
the wedding day is for
brides and grooms.
baby grand piano, dramatic and sparkling
chandelier, and fireplace. Go further,
said Ms. Daidone, into its ballroom with
its massive windows, and some brides
familiar with the Disney sensation have
remarked that the ballroom resembles
the ballroom in Beauty and the Beast.
They cant help but feel like a princess at
the ball, she said.
Some brides have even taken other fairy
tale elements to their weddings at the Estate
at Florentine Gardens. They have arrived in
fairy tale style in a horse and carriage.
Also, because we only do one wedding
at a time here, the couple always feels very
special, said Ms. Daidone.
Noam Sokolow, owner of Rave Catering
& Event Planning, said that getting to know
the couple and their stories helps to create
the unique quality of a fantasy or fairy tale
wedding.
I think with every event you try to create that fantasy or dream, Mr. Sokolow
said.
Mr. Sokolow said the by taking a keen
interest in the couple and their history
and their parents and grandparents, the
party is tailored to their dream specifications. For instance, one parent hailed from
Cuba, and to celebrate that heritage, some
of the food was Cuban-inspired.
At the Palisadium in Cliffside Park,
owner Yossi Abadi said that brides and
grooms are creating their fantasy or fairy
tale wedding for the 21st century through

A fairy-tale ride for the bride and groom.

social media. More and more couples are

approaching Mr. Abadi and his staff with
their Pinterest pages that theyve been
compiling for some time with their dream
vision of their wedding.
There has been Id say a 50 percent
increase in people coming in and telling us
that theyve seen something on Pinterest
or Instagram that they want for their wedding, whether its the floral arrangement
or anything else.
I love it, said Mr. Abadi. For us, it

makes it more challenging to make their

vision happen. I met with my staff and
told them that this is a new generation of
brides. Times have changed. Brides are
thinking for themselves and there is nothing capping creativity now.
The online mindset has changed the
landscape of creating a wedding. We now
ask the couple to show our team their Pinterest page so we can see the centerpieces
or the chuppah and make it happen. Mr.
Abadi said.

At Northern Valley Affairs at Temple

Emanu-El in Closter, owner Les Friedman
recently put together a fantasy wedding
that turned the elegant venue into an exotic
and spectacular veritable Garden of Eden.
Flowers galore graced the entryway, the
tables and the chapel. The florist created
elaborate hedges of roses in a riot of redtone colors that flanked the 50-foot aisle in
the chapel and also created an all-flower
and crystal chuppah.
Add to that a fantasy menu that included
fish stations of the finest catches from the
sea, and stations of the best meats. An
after-party included a redo of the ballroom,
transforming it into a club replete with a DJ.
When the guests walked in, no matter who you were, your eyes popped out
of your head. It was amazing, said Mr.
Friedman.
And what would a fantasy of fairy tale
wedding be like without the pampering
that preceded the event?
At Etuale Skin Care Center in Tenafly,
bridal packages are available for the special
day. The company uses an exclusive French
line, Biologique Recherche, for its clients.
Bridal packages, said Victoria Katseza,
are available for the bride and for members of her bridal party to make everyone
feel the fantasy and fairy tale of the event.

S-6 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2016

BEAUTIFUL BEGINNINGS

Above, Mike and Alyson are married

outdoors on October 11, 2015 at the
Forsgate Country Club.
At left, their ceremony on May 29,
2016 at Congregation Bnai Tikvah.
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ill you marry me?

Thats what the note in the
photo album itself a beautifully
assembled and wrapped chronicle of their five years together said.
And then Michael got down on one
knee, in a room filled with family, and
asked his beloved Alyson to become his
wife. And just like that, on May 14, 2014,
the day Alyson received her masters in
speech and language patholoy, the next
chapter of their lives began.
But although this new chapter was about
to begin, the book already was quite full.
Their story started in March 2009, on the
campus of Ramapo College. Young, nerdy
(according to him!), and eager to meet new
people, Michael attended a campus Hillel
meeting, just as he did every week, when in
walked sweaty, unsuspecting Alyson, fresh
from the ym in a sorority windbreaker.
Ill be honest, she said. I never
noticed Mike before that day, and here I
was with messy hair, fresh from exercising,
and now he wants to talk to me? When
the meeting was over, Aly and Mike went
their separate ways until later that evening. Mike just really wanted an excuse
to talk to her again, and had a feeling that
there was something special about her, he
said, smiling.
And talk they did. Minutes turned into

Mike and Aly and family surround

Nana Coop at the October wedding.

hours, and conversations turned into

plans to see each other this time outside of a Hillel meeting. As time went on,
they both knew that this was something
unique. I couldnt tell you what it was,
or what I felt, but I just knew that when
I was with Aly, things just felt right, Mike
said. Aly agreed. Its hard to explain, but I

Jewish Standard

found myself wanting to talk to Mike all the time, because

when we spoke, everything just seemed to be right.
Fast forward to Passover, and just like that, Aly and Mike
officially became Aly and Mike.
As their time at Ramapo two years more for Aly, and
three for Mike went by, the stories and memories continued to grow.
The two have experienced their share of ups and downs,
but more importantly, together they have experienced the
best that life had to offer and have found true happiness
and love with each other. They also had amazing love and
support from their families.
Mike and Aly finished college and went on to grad
school, where the story only got better, except that the
two became weekend long-distance partners.
The engagement was marked with joyous surprises and
parties, and then some unfortunate medical diagnoses,
but most of all, love and support from friends and family.
A wedding date of May 29, 2016, was set, they made reservations at Congregation Bnai Tikvah in North Brunswick,
and planning began. There even was a successful trip to
Kleinfelds, where Aly said yes to a dress.
On October 7, 2015, at 10 p.m., Aly and Mike made a
decision that most friends and many family members did
not know about until months later.
As their May wedding date came closer and closer, the
difficult reality of the failing health of Alys beloved nana,
Diane Coopersmith, Nana Coop, became something they
couldnt ignore. Aly and Mike decided that now was the time
to get married, they wanted a wedding for that Sunday,
October 11. Sitting in Alys familys kitchen, the decision was
made they needed to have Nana Coop at their wedding.
The phone calls making plans for a wedding to take
place for just about 72 hours from that time began. This
was amazing, considering that the planning for the May
2016 wedding took about two years.
First and foremost, the couple had to get a wedding
license. The process was expedited, and it worked. People
made special travel plans, a venue near Nana Coops home
was found, flowers ordered, an officiant, a cake, and even
a little music had to be pulled together.
Aly bought a second wedding gown locally, off the rack,
so her nana would see her married looking like a bride.
She wore her mothers veil.
As weak as Nana Coop was, she was overjoyed, and
couldnt wait for the big day. A mere four days later, on
October 11, 2015, under the bluest sky, Aly and Mike said
I do under a chuppah held up by family members, and
under Mikes grandfathers tallit, in a beautiful, emotional
ceremony led by Cantor Bruce Rockman of Bnai Tikvah.
Their immediate family, closest family friends, and
bridal party (minus only one) amazingly, were there. The
day, one of the happiest of their lives, was made more special by seeing the smiles and joy on the faces of those they
loved so dearly. As much as they wanted to share their
incredible and special moment with everyone on their May
list, it was not about making a splash; it was doing something that in their hearts the two of them wanted to do.
Nana Coops beautiful beaming smiling face said it all
that day; hospice began in the next few days. She left this
earth soon after, surrounded by love and with the memory of seeing her oldest grandchild married.
It was very difficult to get back on track for the next big
day, May 29, but it also was a good distraction. Plans fell
into place and wedding part 2, as Aly called it, started
to become more and more of a reality. On May 29, 2016,
Aly and Mike were married again, this time officially

signing a ketubah to make the marriage complete. Rabbi

Arthur Weiner of the JCC of Paramus/Congregation Beth
Tikvah, Rabbi Robert Wolkoff of Bnai Tikvah, and Cantor Rockman led the ceremony under the chuppah at
Bnai Tikvah.
While we were so ready and so happy to officially
begin our lives together in the eyes of Judaism, we would
be remiss if we didnt thank every one and let them know
that without them, none of this would have been possible, Aly said, wiping tears from her eyes. The amount
of love is just breathtaking. Never in a million years could
I have dreamt that this is how my story would go, with

S-7

two weddings, but I could also never have imagined how

happy I could be.
Holding Aly tightly in his arms and grabbing some tissues for her, Mike said, When I first met Aly, I knew there
was something special about her. Seven years later, I still
get butterflies when I see her. The worst of days can always
be made right with a smile and kiss from her, and simply
put, I am the luckiest person on the planet.
Hands held tight, the two stared into each others eyes,
smiled, and then said, almost in unison, I love you.
The couple celebrated their first anniversary on October 11 and will celebrate it again on May 29.

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S-8 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2016

Wedding motifs send a message

Sharon Naylor

wedding is the start of the couples new life

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BEAUTIFUL BEGINNINGS

If packets of spices or potted herbs are given as wedding

favors, share the symbolism on the favor tags.
Its not just flowers and herbs that send a message.
According to the experts at Animal Symbols, a website
dedicated to animal symbolic meanings, animals and
insects also bring symbolic meaning:
Bird: wisdom, joy, intelligence, hope and beauty.
Butterfly: transformation.
Dolphin: transformation and love.
Horse: vitality and beauty.
Bees are seen as symbols of a positive, cooperative community, or family, and doves are, of course, signs of peace,
kindness, and love. Since dragonflies are a popular wedding motif, their meaning of good fortune and luck is especially pleasing to wedding couples. And peacocks also a
very popular motif for wedding details connote wholeness, beauty, self-assurance, and dignity.
If the couple has an affinity for butterflies, the butterflys
symbolic meaning of transformation is perfect, given their
transition from single to married life. Incorporating butterflies, whether its a live butterfly release after the ceremony, silk butterflies used as wedding cake decor or pretty
butterfly motifs on the invitations, is extra meaningful.
Here are some ways to include your favorite flowers,
birds, and other favorites with meaning into your big day:
As motifs on save-the-date cards, personal wedding websites, wedding invitations, bridal shower themes, wedding
programs, wedding decor, thank-you notes, and more.
Creators.com

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Jewish Standard

S-9

Making a bridal emergency kit

DiAnne Crown

hat will you need for your big day? Veteran wedding planner Vickie Good shares her top-10 list
for the unsung hero of many a wedding day, the
bridal emergency kit.
I cant tell you how many buttons Ive sewn on, says
Good, making her first item the sewing kit, which at least
needs to include safety and corsage pins, a needle with
thread colors to match all outfits, and a small pair of scissors. One time, the brides dress ripped and they had to
sew her into it with fishing line. Why, you ask? No sewing kit. The other essential items to keep in mind when
preparing for the big day include, but are not limited to:

Solemates (S.O.S. Wedding Rescue), and more. The Internet is full of wedding horror stories, and tips from brides,
grooms and members of bridal parties along with a few
good laughs so others can learn from their mistakes.
Of course, there are some things you just cant plan
for. One time, Good recalls, a bridesmaid misjudged her
foot size when she ordered her shoes, and couldnt keep

her shoes on when it came time to dress for the wedding.

They had to tie her shoes on with ribbon from the craft
closet. And at more than one wedding, Good has wished
for more long mirrors in dressing rooms, as well as a spare
iron and steamer for pesky wrinkles. Bear these tips and
tricks in mind when planning for the day of, and youll be
Creators.com
better prepared than many. 

Stain remover sticks and a cloth to get makeup off

dresses and tuxes.
Tissues for when things become too emotional nobody
wants runny makeup and a mess on their best fabrics
First-aid items including Band-Aids, smelling salts, and a
headache remedy of choice.
Bottled water and a white soda that wont stain, especially if its a hot day or in case the nerves hit and someone
isnt feeling well. It would be wise to throw in a stick of
deodorant here as well you never know.
Small collection of snacks that dont stain or make a
mess, such as soda crackers. No one thinks they want to
eat before the wedding, and they get hungry.
For faces, hair and teeth makeup, hairspray, toothpaste/toothbrush, and mints. No gum, absolutely no
gum, says Good.
Extra pantyhose and depending on the style of the
dresses extra body tape to prevent wardrobe malfunctions from your worst nightmares.
Paperwork: an assignment list of people to gather up
the flowers, rentals and decorations, etc.; a card with any
original vows written on it; the order of the service and
whos who; essential phone numbers. Its best to have all
of this critical information on you in order to stay on top
of things its these little things that add up!
Last, but certainly not least, bring the wedding license
with you on the wedding day. You would think that would
be obvious, but youd be surprised.
For other professionals ideas, search bride emergency
kit online, and youll find such online vendors as With You
in Mind, Darice, Pinch, Yacanna, Philosophy, C.R. Gibson,

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S-10 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2016

BEAUTIFUL BEGINNINGS

Decor Looking Up
Ceiling wedding trends
Sharon Naylor

Decorate a chandelier for a fresh way to liven up a venue.

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wedding decor: the ceiling. A myriad of online wedding forums, Pinterest pages, blogs, and other wedding planning platforms feature ceiling
decorations for ballrooms or tents. You
might find lush, blooming floral designs
so extravagant they seem like upside-down
gardens. And billowy drapes add an ethereal feeling to your wedding.
Wedding planner and designer Kristin
Rockhill, creator of the Details of I Do
blog, attributes this new wedding design
trend to a change in the desired look and
feel of spaces, saying that Couples are
moving away from oversized ballrooms
and looking for romantic, intimate settings
that have a homespun feel with natureinfused decor and organic touches.
According to Rockhill, Ceiling decor is
quickly replacing tall centerpieces. Now
brides are opting for low, lush arrangements that allow for easy conversation and
adding decorative touches to the ceiling
instead to create depth and drama.
Utilizing the space above is a wonderfully fresh way to liven up a venue or transform a blank space like a tent or industrial
loft. Rockhill suggests having lush floral
chandeliers, ceilings draped with greenery
or unexpected unique lighting fixtures like
crystal-draped wagon wheel chandeliers.
Beyond these suggestions, here are some
top trends in wedding ceiling decor:
Create a ceiling garden using one type
of flower, one flower hue or multiple coordinating flower types.
Play on the wedding bouquet trend by
creating a ceiling garden with an eclectic
assortment of flowers.
Use greenery of different styles and
textures to create an all-green ceiling
cover. This simple blanket look may be

balanced with lavish table centerpieces

featuring dramatic florals with pops of
color and texture.
Decorate only above the dance floor
to create drama.
Draw attention to your sweetheart
table by hanging a flower arrangement
above it.
Using clear wire, create an effect of
flowers raining from the ceiling.
Hang indoor or outdoor crystals in a
carefully lit space to add an extra sparkle.
Drape lofty fabric swags from the ceiling center to the venue walls for a warm
yet ornate look. Or fix sheer fabric in
undulating wave patterns across the ceiling for a modern, trendy look.
Dangle bistro light strings or lanterns
to establish a homey and comfortable
ambience.
Extend floral or greenery garlands
from the ceiling center to the outer walls.
Design a projected light show to liven
up any blank wall or ceiling: Project your
names, wedding date or any custom pattern up above, rather than on the dance
floor where this has been seen many
times over. This can be a budget-friendly
accent. Consider contacting a lighting
company for assistance, especially to
accommodate vaulted ceilings and balance out other lighting effects.
As you ponder these options, take a few
things into consideration to avoid any wedding planning woes: Make sure to inquire
about any rules or restrictions for altering
your space. Discuss your ideas with the
venue organizer or even obtain a rendering
of your imagined decor from your florist or
wedding planner. Additionally, you or your
planner will need time to plan the setup
and takedown of the decorations on the
day. Lastly, leave enough time to concept a
few different executions to, hopefully, find
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The Event of a Lifetime

Jewish Standard

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S-11

S-12 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2016

Tips for a successful second wedding

Chelle Cordero

econd weddings are just as special as first weddings.

Like any marriage, they represent a union between
two people and a commitment to each other to
love, cherish, support, and be friends. If either partner has children from a first marriage, the new marriage
is also the blending of families: a promise to not only be a
good wife or husband but also a good father or mother. A
second wedding should represent who the couple is and
be the beginning of a family for the partners and children.
There are few, if any, hard-and-fast rules for second
weddings. The couple can use their past experiences to
plan the ceremony and reception exactly as they want it
to be. Most likely the bride and groom will not be depending on parents to pay for the wedding and will feel freer to
make choices without pressure. It is recommended that
the ceremony and reception be different from the first
time and that former spouses not be included (for comfort of the new spouse and guests).
The couple can decide on any venue: a restaurant or
catering hall, a beachfront, a backyard, a park, or the family living room. Couples may find it fun to plan a surprise
wedding where an intimate group of guests are invited to

a party, a backyard barbecue or other occasion and the

wedding just happens.
If theyre planning a religious wedding, its a good
idea to contact the house of worship and officiant before
choosing the ceremony site, because there may be some
constraints depending on how and why the first wedding
ended.
Brides and grooms can and should write their own
wedding vows; they have the confidence, experience,
and maturity to know why this wedding is important to
them and what their expectations are. Some key words
and terms the wedding partners could use in their vows
are: a new life together; starting over; a fresh start;
drying tears and learning to laugh; loving with eyes
wide open; or a new and exciting journey. When there
are children, in addition to promising to be there for each
other, the couple may want to promise their children, by
name, theyll be there for them as well.
Additionally, any children should be included in the
wedding ceremony, and its a nice idea to incorporate
a trinket or medal for them after the couple exchanges
rings. That way the kids feel like part of the union, too.
The wedding dress can be any color or style the bride
chooses, including white (the use of a blusher veil, though,

BEAUTIFUL BEGINNINGS

is discouraged). The groom is also free to choose his garment. Attendants could be given more leeway in choosing
their garments, or the couple could offer to pay if the outfits are not apt to be worn again.
While immediate family members may give wedding
gifts to the second-time-around couple, many other guests
may opt not to, especially if they were present at the first
wedding and gave a generous gift then. It is still all right if
the couple chooses to sign up for a gift registry. However,
the newlyweds probably dont need the normal items
for setting up a first-time home; instead, choices could
include couples ski equipment, travel vouchers, game
accessories (such as pool sticks) for two, theater tickets,
etc. Its a thoughtful gesture if the couple chooses lowerpriced items for the registry so that previous gift-givers
dont feel taken advantage of.
Intimate family destination weddings and familymoons are ideal ways for new, blended families to begin
their lives together. Enjoying special time together, as a
family for the first time, will create many wonderful memories, which will be sure to set the mood for a lifetime
of happiness. When planning a family-moon, choose a
setting that will provide romance and together time for
the newlyweds as well as family time and child-oriented
activities. Many resorts, cruises, theme parks, and campgrounds can provide a range of attractions and accommodations for couples and children. 
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Jewish Standard

Weddings afloat
Sharon Naylor

achts have quickly become a top trend in wedding

locations, offering guests a unique setting, spectacular views, and the thrill of VIP treatment aboard
a multimillion-dollar vessel. Every element of a
glamorous ballroom wedding including top-tier catering and service, entertainment and dancing can occur
inside a yacht or on its top deck for an open-air ceremony
and celebration.
They are ideal for people who desire a venue thats
different from the four-wall ballroom overlooking the
parking lot venue that all of their friends have had their
weddings and events in, says Camille Cerria, nautical
event planner for Smooth Sailing Celebrations. So many
yachts are upscale and glamorous, and many sail through
breathtaking scenery including historic sites viewed so differently from the water.
Top yacht event companies offer fleets of boats, accommodating a range of guest-list sizes and budgets. They may
be booked to sail or to remain docked, cutting down on the
need for sea legs or experiencing on-the-water discomfort.
Yachts obviously host just one wedding at a time, which
affords you privacy and the full focus of the yacht staff.
Yacht companies are well-connected to their trusted
wedding vendors, who can provide any rentals, decor,

A vibrant sky makes a dramatic backdrop for a

wedding afloat.

lighting, and other elements to make your wedding design

wishes come true. And outside caterers know exactly what
is needed for the yachts galley for the food preparation, if
it is not prepared on the boat itself.
Adding to the popularity of yacht weddings is the
boats design, offering indoor and outdoor areas, gathering spaces, existing bars and other design elements that
create excellent opportunities for guests to mingle or to
steal some private time. And if spending the night on your
yacht isnt feasible, usually luxury hotels are situated by
the boats marina for easy guest accommodation.
Cerria suggests the following tips for yacht weddings:
Choose a budget-friendly buffet reception: With so

much to do on a yacht, guests hate to be tied to their dining room chairs. Buffet service goes more quickly than
plated service does. Allow you and your guests enough
time to enjoy the yacht experience of mingling, dancing
and sightseeing under the stars.
Have your vendors set up beforehand: Ask your vendors to take advantage of the two-hour early boarding
time thats allotted to all vendors. In this way, the boat
will be festive and all decked out with music playing for
your guests boarding.
Say Cheese! early: Use the early boarding time to
take staged photos. This will allow you to enjoy your
wedding without being dragged away from the festivities for pictures, while letting your photographer take
impromptu images of you and your guests having a wonderful time, says Cerria. Also, think about the timing
of sunset and the beautiful colors of the sky over the
water; an earlier photo session might capture that gorgeous scenery.
Find a spot for a group shot: Many boats have an outdoor level where the photographer can take a group photo
of guests on a lower outdoor level. Its a special memento
to have one picture where every single one of your guests
is present in the same image.
Considering that celebrities and professional sports
teams host parties and celebrations aboard yachts, you
can add a distinct VIP, good-life feel to your special day
when you plan a yacht wedding. Plus, you are literally
sailing off into the sunset with your beloved. 
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S-14 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2016

BEAUTIFUL BEGINNINGS

Registry regrets
When it comes to gifts, be careful what you ask for
Kristen Castillo

ets take a quiz: Registering for gifts is A) exciting, B) exhausting, C) overwhelming, D) a dream
come true or E) all of the above? Chances are you
answered E.
Registering for gifts involves a bundle of emotions.
From what to register for to how to notify wedding
guests, registries can cause a lot of angst, says Sara Margulis, founder and CEO of wedding registry site Honeyfund.com, who says etiquette is the No. 1 concern for
couples.
Still, the registry process can be very rewarding, especially if youre detailed in preselecting items and experiences that are a fit for you and your spouse.
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what they frequently wish they had, says Laura Holliday,

CMO of Zola, a modern registry platform that combines
gifts, experiences and cash. The same rule that applies
to clothes applies here: If you dont use it for over a year,
you should get rid of it. Or in this case, dont get it in the
first place!
While its easy to sign up for lots of stuff, you need
to make sure you really want and will use the gifts you
receive. Some items are fun but youll never use them;
others are practical but not your style.
Your registry is a place to ask for the gifts youd never
buy yourself, as well as to upgrade what you already have
and use, says Lizzy Ellingson, founder of Blueprint Registry, which creates a customized wish list based on the
couples home.
No matter what you ask for, make sure your registry

choices are spot-on. Gift-giving experts share their advice

on how to avoid registry regrets.
Registering for things you think youll need in the
future (but end up never using).
When Einat Naveh, founder and CEO of Bridal Boost,
got married seven years ago, she registered for a variety of
things even though she didnt have enough space to store
them.
We were in a tiny one-bedroom apartment in the West
Village when we got married, so I registered for a wine
fridge, among other items, she says. That wine fridge is
still in my parents attic, she adds.
Naveh suggests registering for high-quality pots, pans,
knives and small kitchen appliances, which can be used
every day.
Not registering for big pieces.
While you dont want to register for big-ticket items you
wont use or wont be able to store, you should consider
your party and holiday entertaining needs.
When its just you and your fiance at home, its easy
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Thanksgiving, says event planner Alexandria Proko of
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Not requesting nontraditional items youll really use.
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Feeling obligated to register for certain things.
Did you register for a gravy boat because you feel like
every couple needs one? Did you ask for a blender even
though you already have one? Dont register for what your
mom wants you to have.
When couples have regrets about the gifts they receive,
0002441714-01.qxd 10/15/08 5:09 PM Page
1
its usually
because they registered for what they think
they
should
register for, and not what they really want,
Certified Cantor with
says Holliday, who admits she has a box of platters in her
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Parent Paper
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Carinesomething you will use or do together.
Officiant at Bar/Bat Mitzvah Ceremonies,
No matter what gifts you get, Receive every gift with
Baby Namings and Weddings
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and gratitude, even if you dont need or want it,
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