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Jynx Guthrie
Professor Bladl
UWRITE 02
28 November 2016
The Modern Woman
Over the last 50 years, the role of women, and subsequently marriage roles and vows,
have changed a lot. For example, nowadays anyone, of any race, of either sex, can be married.
Additionally, in the modern marriage, the role of caregiver has opened to include both genders.
This paper will detail the research of the evolution of women, from marriage vows to roles in
society over the last 50 years. Specifically, it will look at the removal of the wifes vow to obey
in wedding ceremonies and the decision faced by women to choose between having children or
starting/pursuing their careers. Traditionally a wifes role has been that of the submissive stay-athome mother, however that has changed significantly over time. The modern woman boasts both
a steady job and happy household. In the last 50 years American women of the South have
changed their marriage goals and ceremonies, have started having children later in life, and have
put their focus on their careers and education instead of starting families.
MARRIAGE GOALS AND CEREMONIES
Bachelorette Parties. The modern wedding has evolved significantly from traditional
weddings half a century ago. One significant but well-known change is the idea of Bachelorette
parties. Beth Montemurro, an associate professor of sociology at Penn State Abington, notes in
her book Something Old, Something Bold: Bridal Showers and Bachelorette Parties, that the
term Bachelorette party wasnt even coined until the 1980s. Montemurro notes that, "For the
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bachelorette party to become standard, society needed to accept that many women had a sex life
prior to marriage that women too are committing to monogamy with marriage (Parker).
Montemurro brings up a good point about gender equality and how we have evolved as a society
as she notes that, When we have gender equality, we have to acknowledge that both parties are
gaining something and losing something (Parker)."
Vows. Speaking of equality in the modern world: some women have started changing
their marriage vows to omit the vow to obey. The vow originates from the first Book of
Common Prayer, written in 1549 (Harris). However, there is more to the to obey story than
most people know. Over the years some of the original vows have been lost. In the original vows,
the woman vows to love, cherish and obey her husband whilst her husband only vows to love
and cherish her. However, in the original vows during the ring ceremony, the man further vows
With this Ring, I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee
endow (Harris). So perhaps the medieval vows were not as sexist as some have been led to
believe. In these vows, the woman vows to obey her husband in exchange for his vow to worship
her with his body, as well as inheriting everything that belongs to him. The idea of equivalence
has been muddled throughout the years, and most modern ceremonies lack the second part of the
vows. In exchange, some women have taken to changing their vows; be that one word or by
writing their own. Vows now can be self-written, traditional, or tweaked with the increasingly
popular choice to replace the vow to obey with one to honor their husband.
Why The Wait. In addition to changing their vows, women have also changed their minds
on when the time to get married is. Traditionally women have been married rather young. In the
medieval and Victorian days it was when women first started their periods but more into the
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modern era it became after high school. Now, in the modern era of the 2000s, it has become
more and more appropriate to wait until after college, or even later into a womans 30s-40s. " In
1970, you were much more likely to have married by the time you were 24 years old, says Jason
Fields of the Census Bureau. Now, over half the population is waiting until after that point in
time (Href). The facts beg the question of why? Why are so many women waiting until later in
life to get married in the first place? Well, there are two main reasons. First, more than twice as
many women are going to college than 30 years ago. Second, many women are putting their
careers first, so they can put some money in the bank before settling down (Href).
HAVING CHILDREN
Single Moms. Researchers say marrying later can mean marrying wiser, with more
maturity and financial security. But there can also be downsides to delay. One of the more
worrisome problems is that more and more women who have postponed marriage are not
postponing having children. One-third of babies are now born to unmarried moms (Href).
Modern women are increasingly becoming a single mother, but this term isnt meant to mean that
they are raising the children on their own. Single here means that the women are not married.
One might ask why women wouldnt get married to the man whom gave them a child, but for
many women this option is either unavailable or unfavorable. This is a huge advancement for
women, because a couple years ago women were shamed for having children outside of wedlock,
thus forcing many women to stay in toxic or unhealthy relationships. Some researchers suggest
that the reason more women are hesitating to get married is a direct result of the rising divorce
rate. Many children have parents who got divorced and after watching how divorce ruined their
childhood, they are in no rush to marry for fear of an impending end of their relationship. Why
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fix what isnt broken? This idea is held by many women who are college-aged and living with
their significant others.
Medical Advancements. Thanks to modern medicine, women are able to have children
later in life without worrying about how strenuous it will be on their bodies. Half a century ago
it would have been unheard of for a woman in her 30s to give birth to her first child. Many
women are prioritizing [their] career over landing a man and starting a family The number of
women having kids after age 35 is again on the rise, according to a CDC report (Sifferlin).
Additionally, over the last forty years, there has been an increase in the age of first-time moms
who are over 35 years old (Sifferlin). TIME magazine writer Alexandra Sifferlin quotes Dr.
Rebecca Starck, chair of the department of regional obstetrics and gynecology at Cleveland
Clinic, and writes that A healthy 40-year-old can have a much less risky pregnancy than a
healthy 28-year-old, says Starck. especially if she prepares her body for pregnancy with healthy
food and exercise (Sifferlin).
Income. Sifferlin goes on to write, [a] new report also shows that first time older
mothers are generally more educated and more likely to have more resources like higher
incomes. This supports the fears that most women have when thinking about starting their
families. Women want to be financially stable, and not just financially stable with a partner, but
financially stable on their own. This shift in emphasis has also supported women deciding to wait
on marriage, too. Thanks to equality movements, women have started to shift away from
depending on a man to provide for them and have begun to seek their own education and careers
to be able to support their families on their own. This all ties in together to the collective fear that
women have about committing to a partner whom might leave them unstable and alone in the
world. For the first time, women are able to hold their own jobs and money and save for
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themselves instead of working for their fathers benefit or for the benefit of a spouse. A modern
woman no longer needs a knight in shining armor to save her from the beast of capitalism. A
modern woman is her own savior, and in some instances, women have become their own dragons
of the corporate world. Due to fighting their own battles, many women have put off having
children in favor of saving money (careers) and educating themselves until they feel they are
financially stable enough to support their family should they find themselves alone.
CAREERS AND EDUCATION
Opportunities. In a speech addressed to the Hays-Caldwell Womens Center at Texas
University, the university president Dr. Denise Trauth mentioned how far women have come in
the corporate world. Trauth states in her speech that 34% of women worked outside the home in
1950, and addressed that its 60% today, which compares to 75% of men. However, despite
this increase, currently women, who occupy almost half of the workforce, hold only 23% of
full-time management positions and 5% of senior management positions (Kellam). She goes on
to mention that there have been Changes in job compensation. She notes that although pay is
not yet equal, she encourages her audience by mentioning how far women have come. In 1979,
young women made 68 cents to every dollar a young man made. Today its 82 cents (Kellam).
Trauth further accents her point as she reflects upon her niece:
The changing role of women is one of changing options. My own little niece is
an example. Shes in third grade. When her parents asked her about something she might
like to take classes in, she said without hesitation, Tae Kwon Do. When I was her age,
the thought of taking classes in the martial arts wouldnt have crossed my mind. Her
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options are broader than mine were. Good for her. And good for us in helping to open
those options for her, whether or not she ever knows what tools we used to open them.
Trauth continues on to caution against the downsides of being a career driven woman in a world
of opening opportunities, and ends on a ray of hope for women who want to have a strong family
and a solid career. She says:
Oftentimes, working outside the home means that women have two fulltime jobs
the one at work and the one at home. Women, more than men, are still the keepers of
the house, the planners of family events, the bill payers and errand runners. Mothers,
more than fathers, are the ones who stay home with sick kids, join the PTA, plan school
dances and banquets and field trips. However, this is changing.
In a survey done of 257 corporations, only two had women CEOs (Pai). Thats only .78% of
nearly 300 companies, thus suggesting that although women are having more opportunities in the
workforce, they are not yet being given equal opportunities to men.
CONCLUSION
Thanks to modern advancements in opportunity and medicine, women are able to take
their time starting families and have started demanding equality of the sexes. Women are
becoming less dependent on men for success, but continue to struggle for an even playing field.
For example, we have yet to have a female president despite over half of the population in
America being female. Historically, women have only recently gotten the rights to even vote in
such an important election. However, things are changing. An Uber driver was quoted by his
passenger, Jackie Lenhart on twitter: God made Eve for Adam not Adam for Eve so when you
girls realize men need u more than u need them, ur gonna rule the world.
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While women might not be out to rule the world, they are striving to at least have an
equal say in it. In the last 50 years, American women of the South have changed their marriage
goals, and ceremonies, have started having children later in life, have put their focus on their
careers and education instead of starting families and in a modern world, where women can
run for president and be the CEO of companies and walk with her head held high as a single
mother: thats just fine. Womens roles have changed a lot in the last 50 years, but with the goal
of equality in mind and more opportunities developing each day, they still have many more
changes to make.
Works Cited
"Biography." Denise M. Trauth Biography. Texas State University, n.d. Web. 12 Oct. 2016.
Gordon, B. (2016). CONSIDERING HOUSEWORK: AN UNEVEN ANTHOLOGY. Feminist
Collections, 37(1), 7-8. Web. 10 Oct. 2016.
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Harris, Rev. Dan. "Does The Bride Have To Say." Chicago Marriage. N.p., 15 May 2015. Web.
27 Nov. 2016.
Href, Http, MORE.ABCNEWS, GO.COM, Sections, Worldnewstonight,
HAYES_ERIN_BIO.HTML, and Erin Hayes. "More Americans Waiting Longer to
Marry." ABC News. ABC News Network, 29 June 1970. Web. 30 Nov. 2016.
Kellam, J. C. "The Changing Role of Women." Texasstate.edu. N.p., 21 Oct. 2002. Web. 28
Sept. 2016.
Pai, Kalpana, and Sameer Vaidya. "Glass Ceiling: Role of Women in the Corporate World."
Competitiveness Review. 19.2 (2009). Print.
Parker, Bethany. "Probing Question: How Has the American Wedding Changed? | Penn State
University." Penn State University. N.p., n.d. Web. 25 Nov. 2016.
Patton, Elizabeth, and Mimi Choi. Home Sweat Home: Perspectives on Housework and Modern
Relationships. , 2014. Print.
Shiner, By Josette S. ""Role of Women in the 21st Century" by Josette S. Shiner." "Role of
Women in the 21st Century" by Josette S. Shiner. N.p., n.d. Web. 09 Oct. 2016.
Sifferlin, Alexandra. "Women Are Having Babies Older (again)." Time. Time, 12 May 2014.
Web. 20 Nov. 2016.