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<i>For generations of high-schoolers,</i>
3
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:38,407
<i>you could only be a jock, a geek,</i>
4
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,968
<i>a princess, a bully
or a basket case.</i>
5
00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:43,724
<i>But times have changed.</i>
6
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<i>Jocks play video games.</i>
7
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,807
<i>Princesses are on antidepressants.</i>
8
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<i>And geeks basically
run the country.</i>
9
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,407
<i>I thought we were living
in a brave new world,</i>
10
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:54,891
<i>a place without labels.</i>
11
00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,691
<i>But every so often, there's that
one moment in high school</i>
12
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:01,083
<i>that changes your perspective
on everything.</i>
13
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Ooh. Showtime.
14
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<i>And for me, it happened senior year,</i>

15
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:07,364
<i>about a month before homecoming.</i>
16
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<i>I was cruising the halls
with my two best friends.</i>
17
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,361
Jess Harris.
18
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,164
I would bang her so hard
we'd both need helmets.
19
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<i>Yeah, that's not me.</i>
20
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Casey Cordero.
21
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- I would play "Call of Duty" with her...
- Yeah.
22
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:37,967
- ...all night.
- Wait, what?
23
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And bang her hard too,
to the point of needing helmets.
24
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:42,530
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- That too, yeah.
25
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,809
<i>Nope, not me, either.</i>
26
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,770
Shaw's over. Just Bianca.
27
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<i>That's me.</i>

28
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Martin Van Buren. Nickelback.
29
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Antidisestablishmentarianism.
30
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Ah?
31
00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,647
Jess has the hottest ass.
32
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,167
Casey has the hottest rack.
33
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:34,927
Bianca, she has the hottest friends.
34
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- Yeah.
- Yeah.
35
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Homecoming tickets, homecoming.
36
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Hey, get your
homecoming tickets now.
37
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- Half price now or double at the door.
- We're gonna be late.
38
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,404
Hey, Jess. Hey, Casey.
Homecoming tickets?
39
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,040
- Oh, we bought ours online.
- All right, cool. See you there.
40
00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:53,329
- Thanks.
- And I will not be attending, so...
41
00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,000

Oh, my God, you do this

before every dance.
42
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,003
Yeah, but I don't feel like going.
43
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,206
There's a Vincent Price marathon on,
so I gotta watch that.
44
00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,761
- Who's that?
- Ugh.
45
00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:06,924
Shit, there's Seor Gomez.
I'm failing Spanish.
46
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,127
Okay.
47
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:27,203
Mini Stalin, dead ahead.
48
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,089
<i>Meet Madison Morgan.</i>
49
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,642
<i>As she would tell you herself,
she's the hottest girl in school.</i>
50
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,325
<i>Even the gay guys wanna date her.</i>
51
00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,966
I would totally bang the shit
out of her.
52
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But I Wouldn't like it.
53
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Love.
54
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Sorry.

55
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,809
<i>So, yeah, she was a bitch.</i>
56
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,651
<i>Were we fake friends with her?
Kind of.</i>
57
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Girls, party at my place.
I'm sure you've heard of it.
58
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,967
Can you make sure you get
an insert shot of them opening it?
59
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Yep, on it.
60
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,364
Oh, yeah, I'm doing a video about
the party for my YouTube channel.
61
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Wow, wait, you're having a party
on a Wednesday?
62
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- On a school night?
- Yeah, I can do that.
63
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Damn, dude. All right.
64
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Well, yeah, we're in.
65
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Ooh, um...
66
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,922
Bianca, you have to
have an actual invite to get in,
67
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and I only have a certain amount.
68

00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,962

But, um, if anything changes,
I'll let you know.
69
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- Problem solved.
- Oh, hey.
70
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Look at that.
71
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,521
Wonderful. Heh. Mm.
72
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Can't wait.
Should I bring anything or...?
73
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We'll... Okay.
74
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:43,089
Anupam and Lena, where are we
on the school-lunch article?
75
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:48,367
Uh, we thought we would make it
about how the prices of ice cream
76
00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,046
have gone up 15 cents
in the cafeteria and...
77
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That's a bit vanilla. Pardon the pun.
78
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,731
But you're missing the meat
of the story.
79
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,962
Our school serves pizza
five days a week,
80
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paid by taxpayer money
81

00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:05,167

that is used to cover us
against pizza-induced diabetes.
82
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,408
Now, that's a school-lunch story.
Boom.
83
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Copy that, circle it, write it.
84
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Huh? Nailed it. I'm so proud of me.
85
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,480
We came up with that idea together,
but mostly me.
86
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,251
Okay, next up,
final assignment, all right?
87
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,880
It's a doozy,
but it's a real feather in the cap
88
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,360
for any reporter worth their salt
89
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,926
that wants to comment
on the social life of this school.
90
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Anyone?
91
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,366
Not all at once.
92
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,411
No one?
93
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,491
No one at all? Any takers?
94
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,405
Bianca.

95
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Just the gal I was hoping for.
96
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Hello. Okay.
97
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,808
I want you to step out
of your comfort zone
98
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,804
and bring your special brand
of journalistic gravitas
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to an article about homecoming.
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Specifically, what homecoming
means to me.
101
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I mean, not to me. I never went
to a dance when I was a kid.
102
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:57,082
- Kind of a nerd.
- Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Arthur, heh,
103
00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,368
but, um, with all due respect, I'm...
104
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:04,367
You're honored and thrilled
to lend that Bianca Piper magic?
105
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,851
You wanna do your thing
106
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,844
and put some stuff in the words
and make it pop?
107
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That's so nice of you.

108
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You don't have to do that.
"No, you didn't. I didn't say..."
109
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Yes, you did. And thank...
110
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"No, I didn't, I didn't." Yes, you did.
111
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,330
And I thank you.
112
00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,041
You did. And I thank you.
113
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,601
Yeah, that's not where I was going
with that.
114
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:31,723
I'm sorry,
"What Homecoming Means to Me"?
115
00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:33,325
What are we, 5 years old?
116
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,130
- What is this?
- Look, I'm sorry, B.
117
00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:37,282
I know it sucks,
but maybe it's the universe
118
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:38,885
telling you, you need to be there.
119
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:40,969
Please don't start with the universe
with me
120
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,485
this early in the morning, okay?
121
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,927

Everything and everyone

can suck it.
122
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,809
Okay, it's not the end of the world.
123
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Ho, ho.
Well, that's easy for you to say.
124
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- I don't have a date.
- I can fix that.
125
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:57,048
- Um... Jack Rebis.
- Mm. Tiny hands.
126
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,248
- Mark Warshaw?
- Smells like trash.
127
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:04,083
Charlie Piper.
128
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,685
My cousin Charlie Piper?
129
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:07,804
Well, people don't know that.
130
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,247
Okay, I will keep looking.
131
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,325
We'll find someone.
132
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,131
<i>Although Jess' menu
of dudes was never-ending,</i>
133
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,442
<i>there was only one guy
I wanted to be my date.</i>
134
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,363
<i>And that's him, Toby Tucker.</i>

135
00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:42,250
<i>I couldn't work up the courage
to say three words to Toby.</i>
136
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:43,965
<i>No, literally, three words.</i>
137
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:48,364
Okay, bye.
138
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,571
Ugh.
139
00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:55,408
Whoo! We're gonna kick some ass!
140
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,403
- Jeez.
- I'll see you later, bro.
141
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,483
<i>You know those people
you grow up with,</i>
142
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,927
<i>maybe you took baths with them
when you were little,</i>
143
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,771
<i>but now they just annoy the shit
out of you?</i>
144
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:08,282
<i>I give you Wesley Rush.</i>
145
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,326
- Hey, neighbor.
- Wesley.
146
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,921
Saw you watching some weird
Japanese horror movie last night.
147
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:24,561
Were you spying on me?

148
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,080
A, don't leave your curtains open,
149
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,601
and two, it's kind of hard to miss
a bunch of Japanese people
150
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,728
running and screaming
for their lives.
151
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,121
Looked horrible, by the way,
all that reading.
152
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:35,331
Those would be subtitles.
153
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,403
Super. Where are your girls at?
154
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:41,687
- Who wants to know?
- The only man in your life.
155
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,161
Mm, Wesley,
you wouldn't be in my life
156
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,800
if you were the only man left
on the planet.
157
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,490
Aw. Sticks and stones, B.
158
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,290
Speaking of stones, rock-hard abs.
159
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:51,805
- No, no.
- Touch them.
160
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,962
- No, no one wants that.
- Graze them.

161
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,043
Hey, there you are.
162
00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,322
<i>Wesley and Madison
were known around school</i>
163
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,005
<i>as "the Relationship Strobe Light."</i>
164
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:04,243
<i>On again, off again,
a thousand times.</i>
165
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,165
Okay.
166
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,605
Oh. Bianca. Well, this is awkw...
167
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:18,005
Sorry, were you just hitting
on my ex-boyfriend?
168
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,204
No, no. Just having some me time
at my locker.
169
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,283
- He approached me.
- Oh. Totally.
170
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,249
I agree. That could never happen.
171
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,640
I know you miss me.
172
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,124
That's a healthy thing
you've got going.
173
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,009
Later, B.
174
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,411

B, it's a party.
175
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,204
You should wear something cute.
176
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,601
Here. Lots of options for you.
177
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,127
How about this?
178
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:48,327
Pretty.
179
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,569
- What the hell is this, underwear?
- No, it's a camisole.
180
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,800
No? Not for you? Okay. Um...
181
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:59,488
Ooh. How about this?
It's a little darker, kind of sexy. Hmm?
182
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,524
Fine. Although I did hear Toby's
gonna be at the party tonight.
183
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:06,205
Oh, like that would matter.
184
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,488
I mean, it's not like
she's gonna say anything to him.
185
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:12,531
- Excuse me, I might.
- Mm?
186
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:14,405
Maybe I'll, you know...
187
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,170
Yeah, on second thought,
188

00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:23,167

I think I'm just gonna stick
with the old lucky party shirt.
189
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,288
- Wait for it.
- Bianca, don't do it.
190
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,885
- Huh?
- B.
191
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,166
Says it on there.
192
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,446
- No.
- Mm-mm.
193
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,090
- And, you know, maybe...
- No.
194
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,766
- ...I'll round it outwith old trusty...
- Not the flannel.
195
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,570
- Nice muted tones.
- No.
196
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,370
That is not a good look.
197
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,251
This is a good look.
198
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,084
<i>And that's my mom.</i>
199
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,887
<i>Three years ago my dad left her,
and she did not handle it well.</i>
200
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,004
<i>But one night divine inspiration struck.</i>
201

00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,447

<i>You can expect to go
through five stages.</i>
202
00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,206
<i>- The first is denial.
- No way, because I'm not dying.</i>
203
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,250
<i>- Second is anger.
- Why, you little... Agh!</i>
204
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:04,890
<i>After that comes fear.</i>
205
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,088
<i>- What's after fear?
- Bargaining.</i>
206
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,720
<i>Get me out of this.
I'll make it worth your while.</i>
207
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:13,566
<i>- Finally, acceptance.
- Well, we all gotta go sometime.</i>
208
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,405
<i>And just like that,
she became Dottie Piper,</i>
209
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:19,404
<i>local celebrity
to the 40-and-over self-help crowd,</i>
210
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:22,643
<i>all-around rock star
and occasional mom.</i>
211
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,247
All right, let me tell you something.
212
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,722
I was in the depression stage
about my ex,
213
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,531
but I combined my ex

with "depression,"
214
00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:35,648
and I got "expression."
215
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,008
if you girls wanna really
knock the boys out,
216
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,403
you should project boldness
with a power pantsuit combo.
217
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,169
I'm gonna look like
Hillary Clinton, Mom.
218
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,651
I know, right?
219
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,088
Okay, kids, enjoy your party. I love you.
I have another seminar to prep for.
220
00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,242
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.
221
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,520
- I love your outfit.
- Caitlyn, can you make sure
222
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:05,450
you get a shot of the desserts?
Jess, hair's looking good.
223
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,886
Ugh. She needs a blow-out.
224
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,724
Here, Kelly, take the blue ones.
225
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,168
They're sugar-free, and I know you're
trying to watch that kind of thing.
226
00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:20,206

What?
227
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,840
You've got to be kidding me.
228
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,250
- Wesley?
- Agh!
229
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,004
Caitlyn.
230
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,770
Hey, Mads.
231
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,482
Really? With this?
Does she have to film everything?
232
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,530
Wesley, I'm what's known
as pre-famous.
233
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,206
My life is an audition for reality TV.
234
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,728
So, yeah, um,
I need to chronicle everything.
235
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,120
That was a good take for me.
Get a wide shot too.
236
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,730
Hey, Caitlyn, take five.
237
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,530
- Thanks.
- Ew.
238
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:57,684
This is why we are not dating, okay?
239
00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,724
Because you, my friend,
are a juvenile dipshit.

240
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:02,888
- I could be dating college guys...
- Yeah.
241
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,169
...or famous people or BO-year-olds.
242
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,209
That sounds like an awesome
episode of Dateline.
243
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:09,850
Enjoy those saggy balls.
244
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,970
Fine, I Will. Ugh.
245
00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:19,210
Come on, man.
246
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,127
Guys, I don't see Toby.
247
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:24,448
- I don't know where Toby is.
- Come dance with us.
248
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,000
Do you think he didn't come?
249
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,248
- Party pooper.
- No, no, guys, I don't dance.
250
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,562
Come on, B. Come on, B.
251
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:33,405
- No, no, no.
- Yeah, you do. Come on, you dance.
252
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:34,846
You do. Come on.
253
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,609

- Come on.
- Okay.
254
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:39,000
- There you go.
- Hey.
255
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,686
- Hey.
- Ooh, look at those moves. Whoo!
256
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:44,571
- See?
- Oh, man, all this dancing
257
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,400
made me so thirsty.
I'm gonna get a drink.
258
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,284
B, really?
259
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,450
<i>Let you get away</i>
260
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,080
<i>Now, don't go away</i>
261
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:07,523
<i>My darling
Don't go away</i>
262
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:12,286
Hey, Billy.
263
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,010
- No, just Bianca.
- Jesus.
264
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,770
Looking very handsome tonight.
265
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,445
Why, thank you.
266
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:18,761
Having fun at the party?

267
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:22,442
Yeah, actually, your girls
are looking incredible out there.
268
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,045
Have they asked about me?
269
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,850
When I told them
that you were here,
270
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:30,722
their eyes filled with this, like, sparkle,
you know, with, like, childlike wonder,
271
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:33,247
and then they just started
dancing together.
272
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,129
- It was kind of beautiful.
- Yeah, it was.
273
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:39,080
Do they do other things together
274
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,447
that I might be able to join in on
or just watch?
275
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,410
I'm kidding.
Not kidding at all. Tell me everything.
276
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,325
Yeah, it's actually not my job
to give you pervy intel
277
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,563
- on my best friends, but thanks.
- Well, I mean, it kind of is, though.
278
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,404
People ask you questions
about them, right,
279

00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,608

because that's your job
as their DUFF.
280
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,842
Sorry, as their what?
281
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,168
DUFF. D-U-F-F.
282
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:01,924
Designated Ugly Fat Friend.
283
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:06,050
What did you just say to me?
284
00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,569
It's not like a big deal, okay? I mean,
like, every group of friends has one.
285
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,650
The one who doesn't look as good,
thus making their friends look better.
286
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,485
The one who's approachable
and easy to talk to,
287
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,480
because no one's trying
to get in their pants.
288
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,928
And if you don't know
who it is, chances are it's you.
289
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,970
Say when. Say...
290
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:27,523
Okay, look, I didn't mean it
like that, all right? Urn...
291
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,650
The DUFF doesn't always have to be
some heinous beast, all right?
292

00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,484

Take a look at Robin.
293
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:34,885
Robin's, like, super cute.
294
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,805
Okay, but her friends are super hot.
295
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,849
Oh, God,
that is such a guy thing to say.
296
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:43,690
Guys can be DUFFs too, okay?
297
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,002
You know my boy A.J.,
freshman on the football team?
298
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,280
We're in chemistry together.
299
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,767
Now he's doing the second most
important job a DUFF can do,
300
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,440
acting as, like, the gatekeeper
to their better-looking friends.
301
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,006
The guy with the info people go to
before they make their move.
302
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,367
- Watch, watch.
- Is it true Wes is single?
303
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,363
Ahem. Uh, sure is, yeah.
304
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,803
Got it. Thanks, A.J. You're sweet.
305
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,522
- Hi.

- Hey, Wes.
306
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,126
See? She gets her info,
he gets to talk to a hot senior.
307
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,480
Even got a little action.
I didn't have to do anything.
308
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,404
It's kind of like us right now.
309
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:17,450
Excuse me,
that is not like us right now.
310
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:18,761
B, on an average day,
311
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,127
how many guys ask you questions
about Jess and Casey?
312
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:26,329
- I don't know. It's a fair amount.
- Okay.
313
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,165
On an average day, how many guys
ask you questions about you?
314
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,481
See?
You friended up, okay?
315
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,047
Good for you. Good talk.
You know what? Get back out there.
316
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,690
Have some...
317
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,527
Hey, what the hell was that for?
318
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,001

Stupid Wes.
319
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,083
It's not even...
320
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,689
Really?
321
00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:26,849
Oh, God.
322
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,369
<i>I am the DUFF.</i>
323
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,929
<i>Impress me to get to my friends.</i>
324
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:40,764
<i>I am the gatekeeper.</i>
325
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,883
I'm not the DUFF.
326
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,560
Hey, Duffy.
327
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,768
Shouldn't you be working
with a partner?
328
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:13,490
Shouldn't you be working at all?
329
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,768
Lab partner's got this.
330
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:17,891
Oh, boy. Clearly.
331
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:20,930
Bill Nye over there looks
like she's about to drink that acid.
332
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,171
I work alone.

333
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,641
- Take a hint.
- Why are you so grumpy?
334
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:31,043
You know, I should be mad at you.
You ruined my favorite shirt.
335
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:35,005
You called me fat and ugly, Wesley.
336
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,925
What? No, I didn't.
I called you the DUFF.
337
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,127
Yeah, excuse me.
338
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:43,001
It's just that stands for
Designated Ugly Fat Friend, dick face.
339
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,322
You can't take it literally, okay?
340
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,324
I mean, the DUFF doesn't
actually have to be fat or ugly.
341
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,360
You know, like Tony Romo,
he's a Dallas Cowboy.
342
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,410
It's not like he rides a horse, right?
343
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,847
I have no idea
what the hell you're talking about.
344
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:59,004
I'm just saying,
I would never call anyone fat or ugly.
345
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:01,162
Okay? That's messed up.

346
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,687
But it's the word and it stuck.
It's a catchall.
347
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:07,287
Oh, my God.
Get out of here before I murder you.
348
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:13,046
- Are you kidding? Okay.
- I'll murder you.
349
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:15,963
B, where the hell'd you go?
350
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:17,963
Home. Wasn't feeling good.
351
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:20,043
Oh, well,
you didn't really miss much.
352
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,601
Yeah, except Jess making out
with Ryan Jensen,
353
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,086
the cops busting up the party,
354
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,891
and, like, everyone TP'ing
Rebecca Cutter's house.
355
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,247
She's right, it was pretty awesome.
356
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,570
Hello? Are you okay?
357
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,722
Yeah, just get the food.
358
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,531
- Hey there, Jess and Casey.
- Hey
359

00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:39,927

Hey, Elaine.
360
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,923
Hey, you.
361
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:48,925
Hey, Jeffrey.
362
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,764
<i>It was becoming harder
and harder to deny the truth.</i>
363
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,611
<i>- Without Jess and Casey...
- Hey, Jess, Casey.</i>
364
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:00,370
Hey, Principal Buchanon.
365
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,329
<i>...I ceased to be.</i>
366
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,529
Girls, party at my place.
367
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,285
Hey, Jess. Hey, Casey.
368
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,411
<i>Holy shit. I was the DUFF.</i>
369
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,601
Jess and Casey. Jess and Casey.
370
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:17,724
Jess and Casey.
371
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,128
Jess and Casey.
372
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:24,402
Why was I Bosley?
There were three Angels.
373
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:25,971

Okay.
374
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,800
<i>You know in Batman
when that guy falls into the vat of acid</i>
375
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,081
<i>and becomes the Joker?</i>
376
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,083
<i>This was my "vat of acid" moment.</i>
377
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,005
<i>My best friends made me
the DUFF.</i>
378
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,130
<i>And that made me...</i>
379
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:39,811
Angry.
380
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:49,090
Bianca, let's go.
You'll be late for school.
381
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,527
<i>The world gave me the gift
of in visibility,</i>
382
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,286
<i>a license to not give a shit.</i>
383
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,528
You look crazy.
384
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,603
Crazy amazing.
385
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:29,206
<i>Oh, God, even my car's a DUFF.</i>
386
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,484
<i>I couldn't even look at Jess
and Casey, they made me so mad.</i>
387

00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,804

<i>Our entire friendship was a sham,
and everyone knew but me.</i>
388
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,883
Hey, B, will you take a look
at my fashion piece?
389
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:46,451
I need a layman's opinion.
390
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,247
You're aware I'm a woman, right?
391
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,162
What? Oh, no.
"Layman," it's just a phrase.
392
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,129
I just mean
you're not a fashion expert.
393
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,964
Oh, so I have bad style?
394
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,007
Whoa, someone's in a mood.
Lighten up.
395
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,731
Lighten up? Because I'm so heavy?
396
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,721
Is there a problem?
397
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,969
Outside.
398
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,807
How could you guys not tell me
this whole time that I was your DUFF?
399
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,646
- Our what?
- Your Designated Ugly Fat Friend.
400
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,246

Yeah, yeah.
Wesley told me everything.
401
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,410
Ha, ha. He can't even spell.
402
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:29,722
That's actually pretty creative
for Wes.
403
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,042
Since when do you care
what Wesley Rush says?
404
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,083
He says crazy stuff all the time.
405
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:35,685
Uh, because it makes sense.
406
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:39,083
I mean, why else would two
super-hot, popular girls
407
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:40,765
wanna be friends
with somebody like me?
408
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,406
It's because you're using me
to make yourselves look better.
409
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,245
Okay, just because you think one of us
is better-looking than you...
410
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,051
Oh, my God. There it is, there it is.
You know what? No, no, no.
411
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:50,281
I'm glad you said that,
412
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:54,161
because it makes what I'm about to do
a whole lot easier.
413

00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,251

Yeah, go ahead and check them.
414
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,409
Did you just unfriend me?
415
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,291
You bet your ass I did.
416
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:10,810
Well, fine.
417
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,725
Then I am taking you
off of Instagram.
418
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,085
Well, hallelujah, okay?
419
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,289
I don't have to look at pictures of your
artisanal cappuccinos every morning.
420
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:21,488
How dare you?
You love those foam faces.
421
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,369
- They're foam-tastic.
- Shh.
422
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,488
Look, we're going through
something over here.
423
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:27,130
Guess what else.
424
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,282
Unfollowed y'all on Twitter.
425
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:32,762
Oh, perfect. No more of Bianca's
almost-ironic tweets for the day.
426
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,161
Heh. Oh, that's rich,

coming from this guy

427
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:36,924
who's RT'ing them all day long.
428
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:38,366
They're pity RTs.
429
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:40,841
You know what?
430
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,844
I'm taking you off of my
We Heart It and my Vine feed.
431
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,367
Oh, great,
because I don't like your loops, okay?
432
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,410
And you know what else?
I'm blocking your ass on Tumblr.
433
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,562
And you, you're off my Snapchat.
434
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,370
Well, fine.
435
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:56,842
- Fine.
- Fine.
436
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,480
I'm a free woman.
437
00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:04,489
And don't you dare be creeping
on my Pinterest, whores.
438
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,689
I'm so sorry, Susan.
I'll see you tomorrow.
439
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:13,922
<i>Wes had made me
see the school differently,</i>

440
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,287
<i>and I wasn't happy about it.</i>
441
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,650
<i>It didn't matter what group
you were in, it was unavoidable.</i>
442
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,644
<i>Even if you weren't in a group,
like Creepy Carrie Raskowitz.</i>
443
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,087
I'm my own best friend.
444
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:38,720
<i>Did any of these people know</i>
445
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,161
<i>where they stood
in the social hierarchy?</i>
446
00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:52,929
Cool socks.
447
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:54,406
Really dig them.
448
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,442
I wanna make out with your face.
449
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:03,725
Good, because my face wants you
to make out with it.
450
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,329
Socks?
451
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:20,250
They...
452
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:25,490
What the...?
453
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:33,803
<i>I never knew

why I couldn't talk to Toby.</i>

454
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,610
<i>Now I did.</i>
455
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:39,168
<i>Because, like everyone else in school,
he knew what I was.</i>
456
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,641
<i>And subconsciously I knew it too.</i>
457
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,121
<i>- It was all so easy for Wes.
- Ha, ha.</i>
458
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:46,044
Look, I'm no wine expert,
but I'm pretty sure
459
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,690
you mix red and white, you get rose.
460
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:49,968
<i>- He could talk to anyone.</i>
- Wesley.
461
00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:51,201
Back to work.
462
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,120
Take a seat, Mr. Rush.
463
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,811
That's your third F.
I don't know what's going on with you.
464
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,760
But the principal and I talked
and we decided
465
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,923
until you get your grades up,
you're suspended from the team.
466
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,367
Well, can't we talk

to Coach Grant about it?

467
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,569
Yeah, Coach Grant agrees
with my decision.
468
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,323
Okay, okay, look,
I can't lose my scholarship.
469
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,081
It's the only way
I can get into college.
470
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,766
I wish you would've thought
of that before.
471
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,240
You want me to what?
472
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,244
I don't wanna be anybody's
DUFF anymore, okay?
473
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,209
I wanna be my own person.
474
00:26:45,360 --> 00:26:48,842
I'm tired of being
the approachable one.
475
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,247
I wanna be the datable one.
476
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:54,328
You're asking me for dating advice?
477
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,324
Today of all days?
Are you kidding me?
478
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,521
Look, I have a crush on this boy.
479
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,246
His name's Toby Tucker.

Maybe you've heard of him.

480
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,641
Well, I can't seem to talk to him
481
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,041
without making a total ass
of myself, okay?
482
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,770
And you never seem
to have this problem.
483
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:13,163
- Don't you hate me?
- I'm glad you asked. Yes, I do.
484
00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:15,761
But only because you're a dipshit
and a man-whore.
485
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:17,649
But you're the only one
in this whole school
486
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:19,325
who told me
what was actually going on.
487
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,245
So you're an honest dipshit,
and that's what counts.
488
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:23,765
- Thanks?
- Can we just...?
489
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:25,445
Can we just cool it for a second?
490
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,571
Okay, here's my offer.
491
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:33,407
I will make sure you pass science
if you help me with this.
492

00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,404

I mean, you got the easy part.
You could pass science in your sleep.
493
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,450
I have to reverse-DUFF you.
Are you wearing pajamas?
494
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,807
Oh, my God.
You know, I get it Wesley, okay?
495
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,327
I'm disgusting. I'm a swamp thing.
496
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,245
- I'm a regular Bela Lugosi.
- Who?
497
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,240
I can't even believe I thought that
I could ask you something like this.
498
00:27:52,360 --> 00:27:53,441
Just forget it.
499
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:57,002
You know, have fun playing intramural
Wii golf this season, dick face.
500
00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:58,966
Okay, okay, okay.
501
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:00,931
Come here.
502
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,811
Look, I'm an idiot.
503
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,440
And idiots don't exactly
give great advice.
504
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,287
Well, look at it this way.
505
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:14,966

It's not like you could make me

any more awkward, right?
506
00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:16,645
That's true.
507
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,246
See? Idiot.
508
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,169
So you'll do it?
509
00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:26,121
- Yeah.
- Yes.
510
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:27,406
On one condition.
511
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,602
You gotta ask me in monster voice.
512
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,206
- Wesley. Monster voice?
- Yeah.
513
00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:33,805
- From when we were little?
- Mm-hm.
514
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,928
- No, I don't... I don't remember it.
- You sure?
515
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:37,360
- Yes, I couldn't even...
- Okay.
516
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,005
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
517
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,724
Bianca need Wesley help.
518
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:50,090
- Please, Wesley, help Bianca?
- Ha, ha.

519
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:52,680
- There you go.
- Not bad. You still got it.
520
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,325
So easily amused.
521
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,165
- We got a deal?
- Yeah.
522
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,651
- I was just going low, that's all.
- Just...
523
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:02,446
- Yes. All right.
- Okay.
524
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,001
So, you have to pass
the chemistry midterm, okay?
525
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,924
- So we'll focus on that first.
- Yeah.
526
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:09,481
And where do we start with me?
527
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,004
- The mall, noon, Saturday.
- All right, cool.
528
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,003
Will there be
a lot of walking, though?
529
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,527
Because I'll wear my Shape-ups.
Having some...
530
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:20,205
Text me.
531
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,641

<i>I was nervous,

relying on the school Neanderthal,</i>
532
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:24,609
<i>but what was the worst
he could do?</i>
533
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,684
- Are you kidding me with this?
- I'm not.
534
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:31,367
Wes, if I wanted to go shopping
and talk about girly stuff,
535
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,204
I could've done that
with Jess and Casey.
536
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,806
- I need you to give me real talk.
- Real talk?
537
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,560
You got a uniboob, your posture sucks,
and your clothes fit weird
538
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,126
because you wear the wrong size bra.
Boom, real talk.
539
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,089
I watch a lot of Project <i>Runway.</i>
What's up?
540
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:46,641
Step one: First impressions matter,
541
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:48,410
so take some pride
in your appearance.
542
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,688
Ladies, this is Bianca.
543
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,446
Take good care of her. I'm gonna
get the hell out of this section.

544
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:54,971
- Wes, no, don't go.
- Ach.
545
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,043
- Unibooben.
- S, uniboob.
546
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:06,244
- What do you think?
- Hey, look at those.
547
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,370
- You... You look great.
- Thanks. That's enough.
548
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,045
- Well, I know my boobs.
- Okay.
549
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:12,924
- Can we leave?
- Definitely not.
550
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:16,408
We've got the whole place.
We are just getting started.
551
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,564
Step two:
Time to show the world who you are.
552
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,246
The truth is, I don't know
who you are from your clothes, okay?
553
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,643
You need to start dressing more
like you, and less like Wreck-It Ralph.
554
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:29,800
- Fine.
- Dressing rooms are back there,
555
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,964
and, uh, maybe try on a new attitude
while you're at it.

556
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:37,171
Get in there.
557
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,725
Can we please just make this quick?
558
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,045
Okay, next.
559
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,480
- Try to keep it in your pants.
- Next.
560
00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:59,409
- Nope.
- This one might be my favorite yet.
561
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,369
It... It's not that bad.
562
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,562
Okay, perfect. Hold that pose.
563
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:06,006
Are you filming me?
564
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,208
Game tape, for review.
This is what you look like
565
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:12,046
when you're not overthinking things,
actually having some fun.
566
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:16,041
If anybody ever sees this,
I'll rip your nut sack off.
567
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:17,725
I'll rip it right off.
568
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:20,527
- Okay.
- Rip it.
569

00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:23,160

Super aggressive.
Look, if this is gonna work,
570
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:25,687
you gotta lighten up,
and you're gonna have to trust me.
571
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:32,724
All right.
572
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,121
- It's go time.
- Okay.
573
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,801
Here we go. Yeah.
574
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:39,291
Rub the belly.
575
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:41,444
Oh, uh-oh.
576
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,320
Oh, yeah. You got moves.
577
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:51,245
Oh. No. Mm.
578
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:52,845
Okay, dancing makes it worse.
579
00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,891
No, no, still worse.
580
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,930
- Is that good?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
581
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:04,570
Are you twerking?
582
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:09,049
Ooh. Oh.
583

00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:10,361

What's that?
584
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:12,045
Oh, my God.
585
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:16,924
This is just getting weird now.
586
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:20,169
Look out. Okay. Heh.
587
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:21,890
It's a little weird now.
588
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,686
- Whoo! Yeah. Whoo!
- Okay, I think... I think we're good.
589
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:26,444
We're... No? You're...
590
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:30,047
Actually, I've been meaning
to talk to you, Toby.
591
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:33,488
I'm really, really into you.
592
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:35,762
Don't tell me. Tell Toby.
593
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,969
Toby Tucker.
I didn't know you were here.
594
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:40,724
I have feelings for you.
595
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:42,326
Look at me, Toby.
596
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,648
Don't look at me. Look at me.
597
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,201

Put your arm around me. Whoops.

598
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:48,447
Toby, heh.
599
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:50,489
You're a little excited, aren't you?
Toby...
600
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:55,602
Toby, that is
unbelievably inappropriate.
601
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:57,524
But it doesn't feel bad.
602
00:32:57,680 --> 00:32:59,330
- Okay.
- I need to talk to you.
603
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:02,689
Oh, God, I want you so bad. Toby...
604
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:06,688
Uh... I'm gonna change.
We should... We should go.
605
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:18,246
What the shit?
606
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:21,491
You're messing with the wrong girl.
607
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:25,922
Looks like the lessons are off
to a real great start there, coachy.
608
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,765
- Oh, did you have fun in here?
- No.
609
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,604
No? Hmm.
610
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,162
- You sure about that?
Ha-ha-ha.

611
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:34,771
Oh, God, please, make it...
612
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:36,445
- Make it go away. It's very bad.
- No.
613
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,728
Step three, okay? Smile more.
614
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:40,564
You're really cute
when you're having fun.
615
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:44,088
So we are off to a great start,
smart-ass.
616
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:57,365
Try it on.
617
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:00,770
Um...
618
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:05,810
You know, I'm really tired.
I think we should just take a break.
619
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,291
Okay.
620
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:14,488
All right, what are you really looking
to get out of your boy, Tony?
621
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:15,846
- Toby.
- Tuba?
622
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,970
You wanna blow his horn?
Put your hand on his instrument?
623
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:20,685
- Little meow, meow, meow.
- Ugh.

624
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,040
Was that a little laugh?
There was a little laugh there.
625
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,646
- You laughed. You did laugh.
- I had a small stroke.
626
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:28,041
Yeah, like a midget jerking it.
627
00:34:30,240 --> 00:34:32,242
You get it? Because he's small?
628
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,284
That was...
629
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:37,965
Okay, fine.
630
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:39,929
Talking to Toby scares you, right?
631
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:44,881
The only way to get over it
is to face it right here, right now.
632
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:46,769
See Sweater Guy over there?
633
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:50,005
I want you to walk over
and get his phone number.
634
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:54,124
- No.
- Be totally gangster about it, okay?
635
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:57,200
Just say, "I could tell from across
the room we might be into each other.
636
00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:00,045
Now that I'm here, I know it.
Your move."

637
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:02,241
- Have you met me?
- Okay.
638
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:04,084
I couldn't get through
three words of that.
639
00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:06,925
All right, walk over and say,
"Hey there."
640
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:09,289
- "Hey there"?
- Hop up.
641
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,124
Get up.
642
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,281
All right, deep breath.
643
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:16,124
Shoulders back.
644
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:17,406
Lick your lips a little bit.
645
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:22,730
Ah, don't worry about the lips.
Go, strut your stuff.
646
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,201
- Like a peacock.
- Shh!
647
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:39,407
Hey there.
648
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,082
Hey there.
649
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:46,690
Is that a wiener in your mouth
or are you just happy to see me?
650

00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,206

No, it's a bratwurst.
651
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:52,249
Oh, yeah. No. Um...
652
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:56,485
But is there a place to get a hot dog
here in this mall or...?
653
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,244
Yeah.
654
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:01,728
Oh. Hey-oh.
655
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,087
- Tss, pfft. Pfft.
- Right?
656
00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:05,287
- Okay- okay657
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:06,930
Bye-bye.
658
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:13,969
Did you want to go out
with me, though?
659
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:15,646
Out where?
660
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:17,564
To, uh, dates?
661
00:36:17,720 --> 00:36:19,768
To a date? On a date? To a date?
662
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:22,325
No.
663
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:23,921
No. Okay.
664

00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:26,522

- Oh, you're good.
- Huh?
665
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:29,611
- You're good.
- Oh.
666
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:30,841
Where are the cameras?
667
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:32,883
- Oh, of course.
- It's a YouTube video, right?
668
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:34,605
- It's a joke.
- It's a YouTube video?
669
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:36,683
Who would wanna go out
with this guy, right?
670
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:38,723
- Oh, man, you're so good.
- Thank you so much.
671
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:40,285
- Thank you.
- Totally believable.
672
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:41,441
Great. Thank you.
673
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:43,648
- How many hits did this get?
- Lot of hits.
674
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,320
I'm taking a lot of hits today.
All right, see you later.
675
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:47,606
- Cool.
- Okay.
676
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,809
- Where can I find it online?

- Yep, bye.
677
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,209
Man, so many
unanswered questions.
678
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:56,840
Really good.
Thank you so much for that, teach.
679
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,968
That was an awesome lesson.
I'm humiliated.
680
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:01,441
Okay, look,
it was just the tryouts, all right?
681
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:03,841
We're sizing up your strengths
and weaknesses.
682
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:06,646
- And?
- And...
683
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,121
You're horrible. I hope you like cats.
684
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:10,441
Kidding.
685
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:13,570
Next mission is to talk to 15 guys.
686
00:37:13,720 --> 00:37:18,009
Yeah, 15 guys,
without completely falling apart, okay?
687
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:20,811
Step five: Take a few hits.
688
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:28,365
Ahem. Nope. Okay.
689
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:32,764
I can do this.

How hard could it be? Just do it.

690
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,249
Excuse me, I, uh...
691
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:38,249
...can't do this.
692
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,687
Hey, I see you have a reusable bag.
693
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:43,490
You're not listening.
694
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:46,289
Hey, is this seat taken?
695
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:50,240
Oh, you're busy.
I'll come back a little later.
696
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,680
Oh. We have to stop
meeting like this. Heh.
697
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,446
You're always going up.
698
00:37:57,240 --> 00:38:00,080
Best part about it is it's glass.
Sure, it's cumbersome to carry around,
699
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:01,770
but I don't wanna have
breast cancer
700
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,566
because I'm drinking out of plastic
water bottles my whole life.
701
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:06,285
It's not really worth it, you know.
702
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:10,161
Like, in Japan, the...
You have to go? Okay.

703
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,043
Long day, huh?
704
00:38:19,240 --> 00:38:20,287
Too long.
705
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:24,968
- Just get off work?
- Kind of.
706
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,407
- Do you work here too?
- Oh, I'm at the yogurt place.
707
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:30,609
I'm a toppings consultant.
708
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:33,411
Oh, my God.
I didn't even know they had those.
709
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:37,770
I've actually been making a lot of poor
choices with my toppings lately.
710
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:40,247
Oh, have you?
Well, I got a card I can give you.
711
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:41,925
- I'm Allen.
- Hey, Bianca.
712
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:43,923
- Nice to meet you, Bianca.
- Nice to meet you.
713
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:45,809
All right, so,
what's the number-one mistake
714
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:47,640
that people make
when it comes to toppings?
715
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:49,450
Ooh. Good question.

716
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:50,931
- Granola.
- Granola?
717
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:52,366
- You wanna know why?
- Yeah.
718
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:58,724
Wes, I did it.
I just got that guy's number.
719
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:00,609
- Attagirl.
- I know.
720
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:02,922
Think I deserve a little treat.
721
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:06,607
I'm telling you, I'd really lost hope
around Guy 17, you know.
722
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:08,728
Then came Guy 21.
Couldn't shut him up.
723
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,325
- Easy.
- Real chatty Cathy.
724
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,960
Easy. All right, don't get cocky.
725
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,128
Today was only day one.
726
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:17,931
Still, it felt pretty good, so...
727
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:21,124
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
728
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:23,766
All right, well, you held up

your end of the bargain,

729
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,611
so I guess I will hold up mine.
730
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:28,609
Here are my chemistry notes, okay?
731
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:31,963
Live by this,
and you shall pass the midterm.
732
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:33,645
Yeah.
733
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:35,450
Uh...
734
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,962
Enthalpy, entropy735
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:40,770
Pauli exclusion principle?
736
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,002
- I was...
- Wesley?
737
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:45,367
- Can we run?
- She's coming over.
738
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,007
Oh, my God.
What a coincidence it is
739
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:50,650
- seeing you here.
- Hey.
740
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:54,202
So, urn, you two, huh?
741
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:57,531
We're not... We're not here together.
742

00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,081

We just bumped
into each other here.
743
00:40:00,240 --> 00:40:04,211
Yeah. No, obviously, I don't...
I wouldn't wanna be...
744
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:05,850
I couldn't possibly care less.
745
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,604
Caitlyn, can you make sure
you get a shot
746
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:09,211
- of them together, please?
- Yep.
747
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:13,003
That's what sucking
at life looks like. Oh.
748
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:23,124
I'm gonna, uh...
749
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:26,247
- I'm gonna get started.
- I have to...
750
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:28,442
I am late for an event.
751
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,285
- Yeah.
- So I'm gonna...
752
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,041
Mine is this way, though.
753
00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:46,730
What are you doing?
754
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:48,206
Ooh. Ha-ha-ha.
755
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:52,604

You caught me.

I'm uploading pictures to my profile.
756
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:55,770
Just hang on a sec.
They're still loading.
757
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:58,123
Sorry, your profile for what?
758
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,044
A dating site.
I signed up for all of them.
759
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,487
Match, eHarmony,
ChristianMingle, JDate.
760
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,246
JDate? You're not Jewish.
761
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:08,205
I know. That just makes me
more exotic on the site.
762
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:09,447
Note to self.
763
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:11,364
Okay, here we go.
Here's my profile pic.
764
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,887
- Tell me what you think. Be brutal.
- Okay.
765
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,566
Oh, uh, you're gonna use
the book picture?
766
00:41:16,720 --> 00:41:18,165
Oh, is it too formal?
767
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:20,527
Well, it is a little...
768
00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:24,002

Well, it's either that or all the

duck-head poses people do on here.
769
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:26,606
Oh, no, no.
770
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:30,731
Dear God, it's "duck face,"
and stop that forever.
771
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:35,323
All right. I'm just trying to get more
of these thingies, these, uh, flirties.
772
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:38,211
Hmm. This is a tough conversation
for me.
773
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:40,886
Let's focus on the picture.
Uh, here we go.
774
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:44,930
Oh, look, arm-fold head-tilt.
That's a classic.
775
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,606
I think we can find something better.
776
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:49,489
Let's see.
Oh, yeah, what about this one?
777
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,927
- This is a good one.
- Aw, heh.
778
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:55,482
That was Florida.
Seems like a long time ago.
779
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,769
- Yeah, you look so relaxed and happy.
- Yeah, well, I was.
780
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:00,410
- There you go.
- Thank you.

781
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:02,562
This girl's gonna
have the flirties rolling in.
782
00:42:02,720 --> 00:42:06,725
Well, we'll see.
This is all so new for me.
783
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:11,490
Well, it seems like we're both
trying new things, then.
784
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:15,690
What I'm talking about is
a good old-fashioned crush on a boy.
785
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,611
- Oh.
- Yeah, his name is Toby.
786
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:20,370
Toby.
787
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:24,049
Yeah, I was kind of having trouble
getting him to notice me,
788
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,170
so I've brought on a sensei.
789
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:29,927
Wesley Rush.
790
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:32,489
Wesley Rush?
791
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,290
- From next door?
- Okay.
792
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:36,442
Honey, why don't you just go
to Jess and Casey?
793
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:38,967
You always trust their advice.

794
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:42,966
I just thought I'd branch out.
795
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:44,811
Okay.
796
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,720
Actually, I mean,
what had happened was, I was at...
797
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:49,410
Was this sensei thing your idea?
798
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,291
- Uh, yeah, but I...
- Good.
799
00:42:52,720 --> 00:42:55,087
That means you're being mentally
tough and making decisions.
800
00:42:55,240 --> 00:42:56,924
That's what half of my last book
was about.
801
00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:00,209
When you become proactive,
your problems become subtractive,
802
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,089
and then good things
are bound to happen.
803
00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:06,882
Wow, okay.
Little of the old proactive, subtractive.
804
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:10,328
Got it. I'll remember that
if you remember no more duck face.
805
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,649
- No duck head.
- Duck face.
806
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:17,527

Oh, I got a flirty.

807
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:20,921
Mazel tov, Dottie.
808
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:26,681
Do you know what
you're wearing for homecoming yet?
809
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:29,127
Because I can't find anything.
Do you think short, long?
810
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,282
What do you think?
811
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:37,842
<i>Despite missing my
ex-best friends, my mom was right.</i>
812
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,128
<i>I could sense that good things
were about to happen.</i>
813
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:42,731
Come on.
814
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,322
- It's been 2 weeks. This is crazy.
- I know.
815
00:43:51,720 --> 00:43:55,202
<i>Toby Tucker,
I've loved you for a long time.</i>
816
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:56,727
<i>Mr. Tucker.</i>
817
00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:58,041
Wes.
818
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:01,249
<i>Oh, my God. Big, fat ass.</i>
819
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:03,846
<i>Big, fat ass. Ew.</i>

820
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,128
<i>Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle.</i>
821
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:08,325
At least it only has six views.
822
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:16,331
Oh, Toby, don't stop.
823
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:18,130
Don't stop.
824
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:19,850
I wanna be your wife.
825
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,321
<i>How do we look together?
How do we look together?</i>
826
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:25,165
<i>- The most beautiful couple?
- Oh, my God.</i>
827
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:27,049
Is that Bianca Piper?
828
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,771
Yep. Oh, my God, that is so horrible.
829
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:32,810
I would hate it if that was me
and people saw this.
830
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:36,089
- I should totally forward this.
- Me too.
831
00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:37,969
- Viral?
- Viral.
832
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:09,568
<i>Oh, Toby.</i>
833
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:57,689
Did you read the comments

on that video?
834
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:01,083
Yeah. It says, "That mannequin
just made out with a five."
835
00:46:01,240 --> 00:46:03,925
Oh, my God,
he called her a five. Ha, ha.
836
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:07,004
"Bianca Piper's ass
means the terrorists have won."
837
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:09,567
Ouch. I feel bad for Toby.
838
00:46:09,720 --> 00:46:12,200
"Flash mob hump session
on Toby at 3:30"?
839
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:13,850
He's gotta be so embarrassed.
840
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:16,805
His senior year is going to suck.
841
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,641
Ugh, they do not clean those mirrors.
842
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:25,525
- Oh, that is awful.
- Whatever.
843
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,411
Listen, she's the one
that ended things with us, Jess.
844
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:31,325
<i>- I love your eyes. They're so...</i>
- Just make that go away.
845
00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:34,006
<i>- Toby...</i>
- Casey, shut the site down now.
846
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:35,571

Okay, fine.
847
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:38,369
<i>Oh, my...</i>
848
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:42,568
You know Bianca well. Do you think
she'd put this up to get attention?
849
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:48,768
Not likely.
850
00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:51,002
<i>Don't we just look so cute together?</i>
851
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:53,371
Ooh.
852
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:55,564
Problem solved.
853
00:46:56,240 --> 00:46:58,288
Solved my ass.
854
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:01,808
This school, this entire school,
is filled with cyber bullies.
855
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,890
Do you know what that means?
That means retaliation videos.
856
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:06,565
Comments, likes, Tweets, memes,
857
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:09,525
and whatever the hell else they do
to each other nowadays.
858
00:47:09,720 --> 00:47:11,080
It's like a prison yard out there.
859
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:13,646
Look, don't you think you're
overreacting just a little bit?
860

00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:15,040

Have you not seen <i>Dateline?</i>
861
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,248
<i>Catfish? Pretty Little Liars?</i>
862
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:18,731
- What?
- Nothing.
863
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:21,886
Look, having had experience
in this area,
864
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:25,601
I think we gotta deal with this
in a way that's private and sensitive.
865
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:28,684
Yes, yes, we do not negotiate
with terrorists.
866
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:31,128
That is the opposite
of what I just said.
867
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:38,283
Attention, students.
The halls of our prestigious institution
868
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:43,048
have been compromised
by the stench of cyber bullying.
869
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,441
It is the stench of ones and zeroes
870
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:49,605
and electronic hardware probably
manufactured somewhere in China.
871
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:53,566
But these "YOLO terrorists"
will not be tolerated.
872
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:57,321
Malloy High will now be put
under Internet martial law.

873
00:47:57,480 --> 00:47:58,561
That's right.
874
00:47:58,720 --> 00:48:00,240
<i>Each student will be required</i>
875
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,125
<i>to turn in their phones to teachers
and retrieve at the end of the day</i>
876
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:05,123
<i>until we have gotten
to the bottom of this.</i>
877
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:08,329
No more phone.
Oh, can you hear me now, jerks?
878
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:11,370
There will be no Vine,
no Flickr, no Tumblr,
879
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:14,967
- no Tinder, no Facebook, no Hulu...
- Just say no Internet. We get it.
880
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:19,165
...no Grindr, no WhatsApp,
no Instagram, no Pinterest,
881
00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:21,527
no wiki anything.
882
00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:23,685
<i>That is all.</i>
883
00:48:23,840 --> 00:48:24,921
Fight on, Blue Devils.
884
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:27,287
Oh, and remember, it gets better.
885
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:29,249
- What?
- You heard him.

886
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:30,640
Drop them in the box.
887
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:33,889
You can pick them up
after school, maybe.
888
00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:37,010
God, I've waited a long time for this.
889
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:39,003
All of them, Robert.
890
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:41,885
Mm-hm.
891
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:45,485
All of them.
892
00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:48,601
Thank you.
893
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:52,601
What's that buzzing I hear?
894
00:48:58,720 --> 00:48:59,801
Dick.
895
00:48:59,960 --> 00:49:02,008
That's gross.
896
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:04,682
Oh, I don't think he meant me too.
897
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:07,047
Hit "send," drop.
898
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:12,211
When I went to high school in the '90s,
we didn't have emoticons.
899
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:14,522
We had actual facial expressions.
900
00:49:14,720 --> 00:49:16,051

Look into it.

901
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:18,250
What's up, narc?
902
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:20,721
<i>Not only was I
the school's most famous DUFF,</i>
903
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:22,530
<i>I was now the least-liked
person in it.</i>
904
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:25,570
- Thanks for destroying my life.
- I just thought of something funny,
905
00:49:25,720 --> 00:49:27,848
and now nobody's gonna know.
Hope you're happy.
906
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:29,570
These are useless.
907
00:49:29,720 --> 00:49:32,405
<i>It could not have gotten worse.</i>
908
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:34,280
<i>Oh, wait.</i>
909
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:35,805
<i>Of course it could.</i>
910
00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:00,043
Yeah, Matt and I, last cup, boom, hit it.
911
00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:01,247
You happy now?
912
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,365
Is this one of your lessons?
913
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:07,451
Hey, dummy humper, I found you
a new boyfriend in health class.
914

00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:08,840

This is Toby too.
915
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:10,411
What do you think?
916
00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:11,641
Oh, Toby.
917
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:13,889
Oh, just give it to me, Toby.
918
00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:17,203
Oh, just a little pinch right there.
Just... Oh, he's dirty.
919
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:19,203
Oh, he's going to town on me, Toby.
920
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:21,328
- Oh, Toby.
- Are you gonna do anything?
921
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:24,290
You're my special little Toby.
I can take you home with me.
922
00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:26,808
Boobs look good. New bra?
923
00:50:29,240 --> 00:50:30,685
Thanks a lot.
924
00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:34,409
Oh, peaches and pears.
925
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:36,927
- Can I have peaches and pears?
- Okay.
926
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:56,007
Hey, Bianca, it's Wesley.
927
00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:03,246
Hey, look, I just...
I wanted to say that...

928
00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:07,441
Can I come in?
929
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:10,490
Mm-hm.
930
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,050
I deserved that.
931
00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:19,091
Here.
932
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:22,047
I promise,
I didn't send the video, okay?
933
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:24,771
I overheard Madison bragging about it
to her friends.
934
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:28,242
I mean, the angles weren't even
from where I was sitting.
935
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:33,725
Why is your hand messed up?
936
00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:37,282
Well, you're not the only one
running around punching people today.
937
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:39,602
No one else sees that video.
Tell everyone.
938
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:41,524
I don't know that many people.
939
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:45,207
Well, make some more friends
and tell them.
940
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:47,561
What?
941
00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:50,727

Mm.
942
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:54,884
Thanks.
943
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:58,410
I've never had anybody
go on a punching spree for me before.
944
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:00,086
Well, don't get used to it.
945
00:52:00,240 --> 00:52:02,083
Now there's rumors going around
I'm on 'roids.
946
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:06,725
- Aren't you? Heh.
- Well, irregardless...
947
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:11,568
- Not a word.
- Well, irregardless of that...
948
00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:14,242
- A little peace offering.
- Oh, my God.
949
00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:17,808
Wes, the dress?
950
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:19,405
You didn't have to do this.
951
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,801
I never should've called you
the DUFF, okay?
952
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:23,769
That was stupid.
953
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:26,645
- We good?
- We're good.
954
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:28,484
Thank you.

955
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:31,769
You know what's not good
is I saw Toby today.
956
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:33,325
He could barely look at me.
957
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:36,370
I think I'm just gonna, like,
write him a really long letter
958
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:37,567
just apologizing profusely
959
00:52:37,720 --> 00:52:40,121
and, you know, maybe send him
an Edible Arrangement.
960
00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:41,520
Stop, stop. Edible Arrangement?
961
00:52:41,720 --> 00:52:44,530
Look, you don't have to apologize
for anything, okay?
962
00:52:44,720 --> 00:52:46,961
- Step six...
- Let's let the steps go.
963
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:50,761
Step six: Just own it.
Grow some balls.
964
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:55,084
Tell him you know the video sucks,
but you're into him, and to deal with it.
965
00:52:55,240 --> 00:52:57,208
And if he's still weird, he's a jackass.
966
00:52:57,400 --> 00:52:59,402
Sometimes it's that simple.
967
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:01,608
Now, I'm off to study Hess's law

968
00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:05,446
and how it relates
to enthalpic chemical change. Aww.
969
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:07,807
Who are you
and what have you done with Wes?
970
00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:10,042
Or maybe I'll Google celeb nip slips.
Curtains open.
971
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:13,005
- There he is.
- See you tomorrow.
972
00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:14,685
See you.
973
00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:20,726
- Here are your phones, kids.
- Thank you.
974
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:24,447
- Thanks.
- Oh, yeah.
975
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:27,244
Thanks.
976
00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:28,731
Everyone, get your phones.
977
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:30,166
Thank you.
978
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:32,445
Hey, you're welcome.
979
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:38,405
Hey there.
980
00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:39,846
Hey, Bianca.
981
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:44,283

Got a second to talk to a fan?

982
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:45,965
Yeah, sure, what's up?
983
00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:49,811
I'm assuming you've seen the video.
984
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:54,284
- Heh. Yeah.
- Um, it's true.
985
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:57,171
I am into you.
986
00:53:57,320 --> 00:54:00,210
And so I thought
I should just be straightforward
987
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:01,850
and tell you to your face.
988
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:03,650
Wow.
989
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:05,490
I'm flattered.
990
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:08,166
And impressed. Ha, ha.
991
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:10,846
Not a lot of people would have
the balls to say all that.
992
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:12,923
Well, that's my whole thing.
993
00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:15,811
- Big old balls.
- Ha, ha. Right.
994
00:54:17,720 --> 00:54:20,485
I think this is the first time
that you and I have ever really talked.
995

00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:22,921

It's kind of nice.
996
00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:25,289
Yeah, it is.
997
00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:27,529
- All right, well...
- Okay.
998
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:28,886
- Well, yeah.
- So, uh...
999
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:31,646
- I'll, uh, see you around.
- Okay.
1000
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:33,290
- All right.
- Thanks.
1001
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:35,568
- See you.
- Bye. Ha, ha.
1002
00:54:35,720 --> 00:54:37,848
Bye. We said it at the same time.
1003
00:54:38,040 --> 00:54:40,042
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
1004
00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:42,130
Oh, shit.
1005
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:46,443
We should, uh, hang out sometime.
1006
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:50,449
Yeah, I'd like that.
1007
00:54:50,640 --> 00:54:53,405
- How's this Friday?
- This Friday, hmm,
1008
00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:56,843

is, uh, gonna be fine for me.

It's good.
1009
00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:58,240
Cool. Meet at my house?
1010
00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:01,011
- Seven o'clock?
- Yes, 7 is good.
1011
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:02,924
- All right.
- See you.
1012
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:05,526
- Bye. Ha-ha-ha.
- Bye.
1013
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:07,091
Bye.
1014
00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:28,245
- Wes.
- Hey.
1015
00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:29,845
- What the hell?
- You embarrassed?
1016
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:32,040
- Now you know how it feels.
- Whoa, who let her in?
1017
00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:34,845
- Wes?
- Whoa, Bianca, what the hell is this?
1018
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:37,367
Ah, kind of looks like a penis,
only smaller.
1019
00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:40,450
Wes?
1020
00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:43,761
Wow, boys' locker room. Nice.
1021

00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:46,082

Oh, uh...
1022
00:55:46,240 --> 00:55:49,926
I need to talk to you
about something.
1023
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:52,447
- So...
- Mm-hm. What?
1024
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,570
- You have a question? Hmm?
- Yeah. Don't do that.
1025
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,491
- Hmm? Question? You do.
- Uh... Heh.
1026
00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:00,165
- Stop.
- You don't.
1027
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:03,005
Ha, ha. Come on, please.
It's important.
1028
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:04,889
- What do you want?
- Let's go.
1029
00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:07,168
- Okay.
- Ugh.
1030
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:10,124
- So you asked him out?
- Yeah.
1031
00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:11,361
- That's awesome.
- Yeah.
1032
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:13,329
What's the problem?
1033
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:18,128
If you must know, I've never been

on an actual date before.

1034
00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:21,847
Okay, okay. Sit down, sit down.
1035
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,128
We got this. Come here. All right.
1036
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:31,286
Step seven: the date.
Okay, we need a plan.
1037
00:56:31,440 --> 00:56:33,920
You think a football team runs
on the field without a strategy?
1038
00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:35,451
Eh... Mm.
1039
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:38,524
- Exactly, no. Of course they don't.
- No, of course they don't.
1040
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:41,650
You want this date to end with you
making out, you need to think ahead.
1041
00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:44,644
So give me the vibe of the restaurant
you're going for.
1042
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:46,848
Okay, I'm thinking something
kind of trendy,
1043
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,128
you know, kind of hipster,
maybe unique?
1044
00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:51,601
- Done. Dave & Buster's.
- Huh?
1045
00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:55,009
- The place with the metal claw game?
- You bet your ass.
1046

00:56:55,480 --> 00:56:58,927

<i>Okay, you, Toby. Let's get started.</i>
1047
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:03,003
<i>Worst scenario is if you get seated at
a table right across from each other.</i>
1048
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:06,528
<i>Okay, no one's making out if they're
three feet apart. Simple geology.</i>
1049
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:08,682
You need a booth, okay?
It's better for flirting,
1050
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:12,890
not-so-accidental touching,
making out. Game on.
1051
00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:16,283
Wow, I had no idea guys like you
even thought about this kind of stuff.
1052
00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:19,887
Well, that's because you're racist
against jocks. You're a jock-cist.
1053
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:21,851
Okay, moving on.
1054
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:24,247
Okay, so how do you
set the tone at dinner?
1055
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:28,924
<i>Lighting matters, okay?
The darker the booth, the better.</i>
1056
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:32,564
Lighting, dark booth.
Got it. What's next?
1057
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:33,841
Body language.
1058
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:36,927
<i>Is he leaning in?</i>

1059
00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:39,721
<i>- Is he sitting close?</i>
- I <i>don't know...</i>
1060
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:41,609
<i>And then it's all about interaction.</i>
1061
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:44,730
<i>Is he trying to impress you?</i>
1062
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:48,010
<i>Does he say complimentary things
to you?</i>
1063
00:57:48,160 --> 00:57:50,891
<i>If yes, chances are
he's gonna make his move.</i>
1064
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:53,168
<i>And touchdown.</i>
1065
00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:54,407
Wes.
1066
00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:56,562
I always wanted to do that
to the coach's board.
1067
00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:58,688
It's big because it's on a chalkboard.
1068
00:57:58,840 --> 00:58:01,241
We gotta go. Come on.
Let's go, let's go.
1069
00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:05,767
Hey, DUFF queen, wanna show me
some of them moves?
1070
00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:07,166
Shh.
1071
00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:10,450
- Bianca?
- Yes.
1072

00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:12,921

The video was hysterical. Eat a dick.
1073
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:15,970
Thanks. I just had a bagel,
though, so I'm full.
1074
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:18,805
Mr. Arthur, I'm really sorry. I...
1075
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:21,440
No, don't worry about it.
Step into my hallway.
1076
00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:25,087
I don't play favorites,
but you're my favorite.
1077
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:29,767
You ever heard the phrase
"The pen is mightier than the sword"?
1078
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:31,763
Yeah, and in this case,
1079
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:34,969
a bunch of kids anonymously typing
whatever comments they want
1080
00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:36,645
feels like an atomic bomb,
1081
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:39,770
and that's definitely mightier
than a sword.
1082
00:58:39,920 --> 00:58:43,561
So make your writing
have a positive effect.
1083
00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:46,530
As in a certain homecoming article
that's due.
1084
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:49,047
Oh, please, Mr. Arthur,
1085

00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:51,601

the last thing I wanna do
is go to a place
1086
00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:53,922
where everybody hates me
and then write about it.
1087
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:55,969
I picked you for a reason.
1088
00:58:56,120 --> 00:59:00,091
And whatever you write, I'm running it
as our lead, so make it count.
1089
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:04,848
Inspire us. Remember,
the pen is mightier than the sword.
1090
00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:08,330
Simon, get your finger out of there.
1091
00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:09,601
You're not my father.
1092
00:59:09,760 --> 00:59:11,250
Yes, I am your daddy, Simon.
1093
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:16,761
What do you want me to say?
I have nothing to say.
1094
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:20,561
I do everything around
this house, and you don't do...
1095
00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:22,927
- Oh, here we go.
- Well, it's the truth.
1096
00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:24,520
Wesley, will you get the door?!
1097
00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:27,041
Oh, don't yell at him.
He has nothing to do with this.
1098

00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:29,123

Save it for therapy, okay, honey?
1099
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:32,727
- Wesley, get the door!
- Okay, enough, I got it.
1100
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:34,729
Hey, ready to go get down
1101
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:38,402
- with some bro-valent electrons?
- Yeah.
1102
00:59:46,040 --> 00:59:49,408
- Do you wanna talk about it?
- I'd like to not talk.
1103
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:52,649
Hmm. Well, I know just the place.
1104
00:59:56,840 --> 00:59:59,366
You see why I need
that scholarship?
1105
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:04,683
Hey, B, where the hell are we going?
1106
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:07,161
My special place. You'll see.
1107
01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:09,846
- Is this where you kill me?
- Ha, ha. Yes.
1108
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:11,963
They're never gonna find you
out here.
1109
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:14,411
Aha.
1110
01:00:16,480 --> 01:00:19,609
I give you Think Rock.
1111
01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:23,168
- Huh?

- Wow. Um...
1112
01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:24,890
What happens here?
1113
01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:30,365
Well, it's gonna blow your mind,
but sit on the rock.
1114
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:32,050
- Unh.
- Good, good.
1115
01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:35,568
And then you think.
1116
01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:37,725
Try it.
1117
01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:44,683
How'd you find this place?
1118
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:47,161
I used to run up here a lot
with Pepper,
1119
01:00:47,320 --> 01:00:51,405
and she would always make
a direct beeline to this rock.
1120
01:00:51,560 --> 01:00:53,369
I remember Pepper.
1121
01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:55,324
How's she doing?
1122
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:57,923
I guess she's okay.
1123
01:00:58,080 --> 01:01:01,323
When my parents got divorced,
my mom wanted custody of me,
1124
01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:04,450
and my dad wanted custody
of the dog.

1125
01:01:04,600 --> 01:01:05,806
- Wow.
- Yeah, so I think that
1126
01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:08,770
pretty much sums it up right there.
1127
01:01:15,120 --> 01:01:16,645
Are your...?
1128
01:01:17,760 --> 01:01:21,003
- Are your parents gonna get divorced?
- God, I hope so.
1129
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:23,686
I just... I...
1130
01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:27,444
It's okay.
1131
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:30,004
It's not okay.
1132
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:32,764
But it will be.
1133
01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:34,407
I promise.
1134
01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:49,002
I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't...
1135
01:01:49,160 --> 01:01:51,686
Oh. No, I... It's okay, I...
1136
01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:53,968
- What, um...? Were you...?
- That... You know what?
1137
01:01:54,120 --> 01:01:58,011
That was... Uh, that was practice.
1138
01:01:58,320 --> 01:02:00,129
Sorry, practice for...?
1139

01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:03,045

For step eight, okay, for...
Of the plan.
1140
01:02:03,200 --> 01:02:07,728
That was practice in case you hadn't
made out with anyone in a while.
1141
01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:09,566
Huh.
1142
01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:11,529
It's all part of the plan?
1143
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:15,526
It's just practice, just a guerrilla-style
practice session?
1144
01:02:15,680 --> 01:02:18,126
- Sneak attack.
- Hm, hm.
1145
01:02:18,280 --> 01:02:19,930
Really?
1146
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:22,402
Mm-hm, okay.
1147
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:27,046
Is that what it felt like?
1148
01:02:27,200 --> 01:02:31,649
That I hadn't made out with anyone
in a while or whatever?
1149
01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:35,725
Well, I mean,
I'm more of a tongue guy myself, but...
1150
01:02:35,880 --> 01:02:39,407
You don't say?
I think I felt it poking out my butthole.
1151
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:42,962
- Ha-ha-ha.
- So far down my throat. Ha, ha.
1152

01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:45,441

Are you giving me kissing advice?
1153
01:02:46,160 --> 01:02:47,605
Man, I guess I am.
1154
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:50,001
- B.
- You need it.
1155
01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:51,606
That's how people kiss.
1156
01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:55,247
Uh, in porn, maybe.
1157
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:56,606
What's wrong with porn?
1158
01:02:56,760 --> 01:02:58,410
If this was a porn movie,
1159
01:02:58,560 --> 01:03:00,720
we wouldn't be sitting on a rock
having a conversation.
1160
01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:03,201
You know,
you'd be bringing me a pizza
1161
01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:06,887
or, um, you know, cleaning my pool.
1162
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:09,327
How old is the porn
you're watching?
1163
01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:11,960
That doesn't... That's not...
That's not even a thing anymore.
1164
01:03:12,120 --> 01:03:14,691
- They don't do that?
- Ha, ha.
1165
01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:16,569
All right, you know what?

1166
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:18,729
I'm gonna give you a lesson.
1167
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:21,406
It's gonna be free.
The first one's always free.
1168
01:03:21,560 --> 01:03:23,688
All right,
this is how girls like to be kissed.
1169
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:26,081
- We're doing this?
- We're doing this.
1170
01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:29,408
- Close your eyes. Ha, ha.
- Heh.
1171
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:32,370
- Ready.
- Okay, okay. Lean in.
1172
01:03:32,520 --> 01:03:36,650
Hey-oh. Go slow, okay?
Let the tension build.
1173
01:03:37,240 --> 01:03:38,401
So much to learn.
1174
01:03:38,560 --> 01:03:41,404
- Okay, ready?
- No.
1175
01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:45,530
Okay, now lean in.
1176
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:47,450
Slow.
1177
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:52,410
Oh, no.
1178
01:03:52,560 --> 01:03:53,766
That was a good one.

1179
01:03:53,920 --> 01:03:57,163
- You are a phenomenal kisser.
- Ha-ha-ha.
1180
01:03:57,320 --> 01:03:59,607
- Thank you. That's how we like it.
- What is that?
1181
01:04:02,600 --> 01:04:04,762
Are you feeling a little better?
1182
01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:07,400
- Hmm?
- Yeah, okay, a little bit.
1183
01:04:07,840 --> 01:04:09,683
You're welcome.
1184
01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:11,001
Come on, let's go.
1185
01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:13,009
We have a date
with the periodic chart.
1186
01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:15,601
The only periodic chart I know
is the one that tells me
1187
01:04:15,760 --> 01:04:18,923
what time of the month
to avoid Madison. Hey!
1188
01:04:19,120 --> 01:04:21,885
- I'm not gonna high-five you on that.
- Come on, science jokes.
1189
01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:24,560
<i>Know how they say
"The hills have eyes"?</i>
1190
01:04:24,720 --> 01:04:26,360
<i>Well, it turns out
the shrubs have bitches</i>
1191
01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:28,608
- <i>who videotape everything.</i>

- Oh, here we go.

1192
01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:29,926
Well, you don't.
1193
01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:31,520
Ever been kicked in the nuts?
1194
01:04:31,640 --> 01:04:34,803
Oh, God,
you always come back with that.
1195
01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:40,566
- Hey, B.
- Madison, how are you?
1196
01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:43,451
Do you wanna see something
hysterical? Hold on.
1197
01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:45,524
Watch this.
1198
01:04:47,520 --> 01:04:49,921
Did you see the way
that guy looked at you?
1199
01:04:50,080 --> 01:04:52,447
- This part's the best.
<i>- Definitely not.</i>
1200
01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:55,604
Wait, just look at your face. Ha, ha.
1201
01:04:55,760 --> 01:04:58,604
Oh, don't worry, um,
it's a working title.
1202
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:03,209
You know, I was thinking maybe
"retail slut" or just "slut whore."
1203
01:05:03,720 --> 01:05:05,529
You thought the first video was bad.
1204
01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:08,047
Boy, this one's gonna destroy you.

1205
01:05:08,480 --> 01:05:10,005
What do you want from me?
1206
01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:13,323
Oh, I think it's adorable that Wesley
indulged you in a pity make-out.
1207
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:15,130
Oh, no, no.
1208
01:05:15,280 --> 01:05:17,089
I don't even know how you...
1209
01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:19,083
But it...
That wasn't what it looked like.
1210
01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:20,651
Yeah, no shit, it's not.
1211
01:05:20,800 --> 01:05:22,848
Because Wesley and I
are getting back together.
1212
01:05:23,480 --> 01:05:27,405
- Hmm. ls Wesley aware of this?
- He will be made aware.
1213
01:05:28,040 --> 01:05:31,362
- Look, Bianca, I've tried to be nice.
- Have you?
1214
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:33,887
Shh. So let me put this
a little differently.
1215
01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:36,520
I don't like people
thinking of my ex-boyfriend
1216
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:38,364
hitting it with someone like you.
1217
01:05:38,520 --> 01:05:39,931
The thing you have to understand

1218
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:43,886
is what happens in high school
is gonna stay with us forever.
1219
01:05:44,080 --> 01:05:47,289
Most people don't think that,
but then again, most people are losers.
1220
01:05:47,440 --> 01:05:51,445
- Mm. Fascinating.
- People like me matter here.
1221
01:05:51,600 --> 01:05:53,523
People like you will never matter.
1222
01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:56,891
So stop messing it up
for those of us who do.
1223
01:05:57,880 --> 01:05:59,609
See you in math.
1224
01:06:02,360 --> 01:06:03,885
<i>In the past, her threat alone</i>
1225
01:06:04,040 --> 01:06:06,008
<i>would've been enough
to make me hide under my bed.</i>
1226
01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:09,607
<i>But I wasn't even trying to hook up
with Wesley Rush.</i>
1227
01:06:09,760 --> 01:06:11,683
<i>I couldn't even imagine it.</i>
1228
01:06:11,840 --> 01:06:15,322
<i>I'm horny for sex.</i>
1229
01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:17,767
- Oh!
- Oh, hey.
1230
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:19,729
Someone's pool need cleaning?
1231

01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:22,087

Also I brought pizza.
1232
01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:26,406
And I like to have sex with girls.
1233
01:06:26,560 --> 01:06:28,562
I'm a girl.
1234
01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:34,564
- Ow.
- Hmm.
1235
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:36,280
<i>Okay, maybe I could imagine it,</i>
1236
01:06:36,400 --> 01:06:39,131
<i>but I had to stay focused
on my Toby mission.</i>
1237
01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:46,647
<i>Date night.
I worked up all my courage</i>
1238
01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:48,928
<i>and tried on the dress
Wesley gave me.</i>
1239
01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:52,801
<i>In my head, I think I was expecting
some big reality-show reveal.</i>
1240
01:06:52,960 --> 01:06:54,610
All right.
1241
01:06:54,760 --> 01:06:56,603
<i>But it was just me.</i>
1242
01:06:56,760 --> 01:06:58,649
<i>Me in a dress.</i>
1243
01:06:59,200 --> 01:07:01,771
Ma, I'm off to my big night.
1244
01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:03,809
Whoa, look at you.

1245
01:07:03,960 --> 01:07:05,530
Wow, look at you.
1246
01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:07,489
Look at you not in a pantsuit.
1247
01:07:07,640 --> 01:07:10,211
I know. I have my first Internet date.
1248
01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:13,967
We both like Thai food,
are athletically toned and lying about it.
1249
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:15,963
Oh, my God.
1250
01:07:16,120 --> 01:07:18,726
- That dress is beautiful on you.
- Thanks.
1251
01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:21,406
- Wes gave it to me.
- Oh, what are you two doing tonight?
1252
01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:24,686
Oh, no, heh, not...
I'm not going out with Wes.
1253
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:28,003
I'm going out with Toby.
Toby's the guy that I like.
1254
01:07:28,160 --> 01:07:29,810
Right, well, that should be fun.
1255
01:07:29,960 --> 01:07:33,407
Yeah. I actually kind of feel
nervous about it
1256
01:07:33,560 --> 01:07:36,131
just because I feel like
I might say something stupid,
1257
01:07:36,320 --> 01:07:38,561
- and I don't really know when...
- Honey, stop.

1258
01:07:38,720 --> 01:07:41,929
Believe, retrieve, achieve.
1259
01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:43,969
It is a mantra
that I teach all of my clients
1260
01:07:44,160 --> 01:07:45,650
who suffer
from performance anxiety.
1261
01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:47,882
Believe it happened yesterday.
1262
01:07:48,080 --> 01:07:49,366
Retrieve your confidence.
1263
01:07:49,520 --> 01:07:50,931
Achieve your goals.
1264
01:07:51,080 --> 01:07:53,606
- Just don't conceive.
- Mm.
1265
01:07:53,760 --> 01:07:57,765
Okay. Well, I'm off to do some
believing and hopefully achieving.
1266
01:07:57,920 --> 01:08:00,366
- Love you, have fun.
- Unless there was something else.
1267
01:08:00,920 --> 01:08:03,764
Nope, I'm good. See you, have fun.
1268
01:08:12,160 --> 01:08:14,845
Hey, look at you.
1269
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:16,889
Studying almost like
you were a real student.
1270
01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:19,727
Actually, I'm just waiting
for strangers to walk by
1271

01:08:19,880 --> 01:08:21,689

so I can show them this bad boy.
1272
01:08:22,320 --> 01:08:23,481
Hey-oh!
1273
01:08:23,640 --> 01:08:26,769
Oh, you're not the only B in my life.
Suck it, science.
1274
01:08:26,920 --> 01:08:28,649
That is actually incredible.
1275
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:30,370
I can't believe it. Congratulations.
1276
01:08:30,520 --> 01:08:32,682
Coach says I might get to play
some football this year.
1277
01:08:32,840 --> 01:08:34,080
What?
1278
01:08:34,240 --> 01:08:36,766
- I'm so proud of you. Good job.
- Ah.
1279
01:08:38,680 --> 01:08:39,920
Wow.
1280
01:08:40,680 --> 01:08:45,846
- Ah, my dress.
- Ah? Not bad for a DUFF, am I right?
1281
01:08:46,240 --> 01:08:48,004
It's my big Toby date night.
1282
01:08:48,160 --> 01:08:50,003
Off to a nice evening
1283
01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:53,721
of talking about the finer things in life
with a fellow intellectual?
1284
01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:57,043
Yes, please. Ha, ha.

1285
01:08:57,720 --> 01:09:00,690
So, I mean, how do I look?
Is this good, coach? Come on.
1286
01:09:01,880 --> 01:09:03,291
You look good.
1287
01:09:03,440 --> 01:09:06,410
Good?
Wow, that's really a rave review.
1288
01:09:06,560 --> 01:09:10,485
I just mean that you look good,
but you don't look like you.
1289
01:09:11,560 --> 01:09:14,006
What? What are you talking about?
1290
01:09:14,160 --> 01:09:18,085
- What do you mean? No, tell me.
- Nothing, nothing. You look fantastic.
1291
01:09:18,240 --> 01:09:21,005
I got my grades up, you got your date.
We're good.
1292
01:09:21,920 --> 01:09:24,605
- Are you sure? You're being weird.
- You're being weird, okay?
1293
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:26,928
- Go.
- Okay, I'll tell you how it goes.
1294
01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:28,923
- All right.
- Okay, bye.
1295
01:09:29,080 --> 01:09:30,491
Bye.
1296
01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:32,648
Wish me luck.
1297
01:09:32,800 --> 01:09:34,290
Good luck.

1298
01:09:48,280 --> 01:09:50,521
- Hey.
- Hi.
1299
01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:52,444
Come on in.
1300
01:09:53,520 --> 01:09:56,569
- Wow, you really dressed up.
- Oh?
1301
01:09:56,720 --> 01:09:58,768
This old thing? Ha, ha.
1302
01:09:58,960 --> 01:10:00,610
Um, so hey,
where do you wanna go?
1303
01:10:00,760 --> 01:10:03,127
Because I actually heard
that Dave & Buster's
1304
01:10:03,280 --> 01:10:06,329
is, like, the cool, hip new spot.
1305
01:10:06,480 --> 01:10:08,050
The place
with the metal claw game?
1306
01:10:08,200 --> 01:10:10,646
- Yeah, that's the one. Fun, right?
- Yeah. Ha, ha.
1307
01:10:10,800 --> 01:10:12,080
Well, I do love Dave & Buster's,
1308
01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:14,965
but I actually took the liberty
of making a reservation already.
1309
01:10:15,120 --> 01:10:18,044
Hope this is okay.
Thought we could eat here tonight.
1310
01:10:18,200 --> 01:10:21,363
I've been teaching myself
how to make sushi online.

1311
01:10:21,520 --> 01:10:23,682
I just thought it would be,
you know, more personal.
1312
01:10:23,840 --> 01:10:24,887
Yeah, I like that.
1313
01:10:26,320 --> 01:10:27,970
Oh, uh,
those are the baked crab rolls.
1314
01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:30,561
Make yourself at home.
That's Japanese tea, by the way.
1315
01:10:30,720 --> 01:10:33,121
- So enjoy.
- Okay.
1316
01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:36,761
<i>Nightmare. I'd only been
trained for Dave & Buster's.</i>
1317
01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:40,248
<i>What did Wes say? That "no one's
making out if they're three feet apart."</i>
1318
01:10:41,120 --> 01:10:42,360
Okay.
1319
01:10:46,040 --> 01:10:47,166
Oh, Jesus.
1320
01:10:57,920 --> 01:11:00,400
Hey. Oh. Uh...
1321
01:11:00,560 --> 01:11:03,530
- Everything okay?
- Oh, yeah. No, uh, I was getting...
1322
01:11:03,680 --> 01:11:07,127
I was feeling, like, a draft over
when I was here,
1323
01:11:07,320 --> 01:11:10,563
so I just kind of scooted it on

over here.
1324
01:11:10,720 --> 01:11:13,121
- I can turn off the air.
- Oh, okay. Whatever.
1325
01:11:13,280 --> 01:11:15,123
That's probably a good idea.
1326
01:11:15,560 --> 01:11:18,291
<i>The vibe. Darker the better.</i>
1327
01:11:20,520 --> 01:11:21,931
Okay.
1328
01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:26,761
Really? What kind of light...?
1329
01:11:31,520 --> 01:11:33,841
- What?
- Hey, Bianca. That's better...
1330
01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:37,163
- Oh. Did we blow a fuse?
- I guess we did.
1331
01:11:37,320 --> 01:11:39,846
I was just over here
looking at this picture of you
1332
01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:42,890
in the tiny sweatpants,
and it got dark.
1333
01:11:43,040 --> 01:11:44,246
I don't know. It's crazy.
1334
01:11:44,440 --> 01:11:46,568
I'll just flip the breakers,
turn all the lights on.
1335
01:11:46,720 --> 01:11:50,327
Oh, you're gonna turn all the...?
Turn them all back on? Okay.
1336
01:11:50,880 --> 01:11:54,248
- What?

- Oh! Hey, let there be light, right?

1337
01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:56,402
Yeah. From the Bible.
1338
01:11:56,560 --> 01:11:58,005
Cool. That's crazy.
1339
01:11:58,160 --> 01:12:01,243
- What's the crab doing right now?
- Oh, I'll go get him.
1340
01:12:01,400 --> 01:12:02,765
Okay, great.
1341
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:06,049
I can't believe you made
all this sushi.
1342
01:12:06,200 --> 01:12:09,090
This is like restaurant-quality sushi.
1343
01:12:09,240 --> 01:12:11,480
Like, look at this. Do you have
a special tool for these?
1344
01:12:11,600 --> 01:12:13,568
Ha, ha. It took a few hours.
1345
01:12:13,760 --> 01:12:16,730
If it has to do with my hands,
I usually pick it up really quickly.
1346
01:12:16,880 --> 01:12:18,644
That's actually how I got into guitar.
1347
01:12:18,800 --> 01:12:21,371
- Oh, yeah. Tell me more about that.
- I was a terrible student.
1348
01:12:22,800 --> 01:12:24,689
And so my mom used to stand
outside my room
1349
01:12:24,840 --> 01:12:27,241
to make sure
that I was doing my homework.

1350
01:12:28,840 --> 01:12:30,126
Game on.
1351
01:12:30,320 --> 01:12:33,767
- What?
- I said, go on with the story,
1352
01:12:33,920 --> 01:12:35,445
because I'm loving it.
1353
01:12:35,600 --> 01:12:39,889
So then I just started writing poems,
and those poems became songs and...
1354
01:12:40,080 --> 01:12:41,969
That is so cool.
1355
01:12:42,120 --> 01:12:43,963
I want you to take me...
1356
01:12:44,120 --> 01:12:46,043
Take me on this table right now.
1357
01:13:00,800 --> 01:13:02,928
What's up? Oh, California roll?
1358
01:13:03,640 --> 01:13:05,449
- Mm. Oof!
- Ew!
1359
01:13:06,440 --> 01:13:07,566
Are you okay?
1360
01:13:08,240 --> 01:13:09,730
Ah.
1361
01:13:09,880 --> 01:13:14,124
Ah, yeah, I'm just really
feeling this sushi.
1362
01:13:14,320 --> 01:13:16,129
It's really...
It's doing something to me.
1363
01:13:16,280 --> 01:13:18,282

Ha, ha. Yeah. Well, thanks.

1364
01:13:18,440 --> 01:13:21,489
No, like I said,
it's the poetry of the chord progression
1365
01:13:21,640 --> 01:13:24,166
intertwining with the poetry
of the lyrics.
1366
01:13:24,320 --> 01:13:26,049
It's like two people in love.
1367
01:13:26,200 --> 01:13:28,567
Yeah, like a midget jerking it.
Meow, meow, meow-meow.
1368
01:13:29,960 --> 01:13:32,611
Yeah, funny. Actually,
that kind of reminds me of a song
1369
01:13:32,800 --> 01:13:34,564
that I wrote a few weeks ago.
1370
01:13:34,760 --> 01:13:37,331
I could play it for you later if you like.
1371
01:13:38,720 --> 01:13:40,768
- Yeah, totally.
- Yeah, totally.
1372
01:13:40,920 --> 01:13:42,684
You know, I've been working
on a poem myself.
1373
01:13:42,840 --> 01:13:45,650
<i>There once a boy named Toby Tucker
Bianca Piper just wished he would...</i>
1374
01:13:45,800 --> 01:13:50,328
Okay, I think
I'm gonna use the bathroom.
1375
01:13:50,480 --> 01:13:51,686
Where is it?
1376
01:13:53,080 --> 01:13:55,003

What are you doing to me out there?

1377
01:13:55,200 --> 01:13:57,282
What...?
You're not into Wesley, are you?
1378
01:13:57,440 --> 01:14:00,171
You bet your ass, you are. Whoo!
Who's number one in your brain?
1379
01:14:00,320 --> 01:14:01,840
- No. Get out.
- This guy. This guy is.
1380
01:14:01,960 --> 01:14:03,644
- Yeah.
- Get out.
1381
01:14:03,800 --> 01:14:06,929
Okay, you've gotta
pull it together, okay?
1382
01:14:07,080 --> 01:14:11,290
Toby Tucker is gonna play you a song,
and you're gonna love it.
1383
01:14:11,680 --> 01:14:13,364
Here we go.
1384
01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:20,049
Are you okay? Little cold?
1385
01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:21,804
I'm a little chilly, yeah.
1386
01:14:21,960 --> 01:14:23,928
Oh, hang on.
1387
01:14:30,720 --> 01:14:32,245
There you go. Better?
1388
01:14:32,440 --> 01:14:36,126
Yeah, definitely. Thanks.
1389
01:14:36,960 --> 01:14:39,361
So here's the song.

1390
01:14:39,520 --> 01:14:42,808
- Be gentle. I'm still working on it, so...
- Okay.
1391
01:14:42,960 --> 01:14:48,285
<i>Baby, you set my soul on fire</i>
1392
01:14:49,080 --> 01:14:54,291
<i>And, girl, you are my heart's desire</i>
1393
01:14:55,600 --> 01:14:57,921
<i>Don't you know it's true</i>
1394
01:14:58,080 --> 01:15:01,084
<i>In everything we do</i>
1395
01:15:01,240 --> 01:15:03,971
<i>I just want it to be</i>
1396
01:15:04,120 --> 01:15:07,329
<i>The two of us</i>
1397
01:15:07,520 --> 01:15:09,488
I don't know exactly
how to rhyme that.
1398
01:15:09,640 --> 01:15:12,803
- Oh, no. It's so good, though.
- Thank you. I think it's great.
1399
01:15:12,960 --> 01:15:15,281
I mean, I've been working on it
for a little bit, so...
1400
01:15:15,440 --> 01:15:16,726
But enough about me.
1401
01:15:16,880 --> 01:15:19,201
I mean, how have you been,
after that video came out?
1402
01:15:19,360 --> 01:15:21,362
It's been a little tough.
1403
01:15:21,520 --> 01:15:24,922
A lot of people... A lot of people saw it.

Heh. I don't know.

1404
01:15:25,120 --> 01:15:28,761
To be honest,
the saddest part about it is that
1405
01:15:28,960 --> 01:15:31,281
I kind of got into a fight
with my best friends, and...
1406
01:15:31,440 --> 01:15:32,566
Jess and Casey?
1407
01:15:33,480 --> 01:15:36,211
Uh, yes, Jess and Casey.
1408
01:15:36,360 --> 01:15:40,445
And, um, I don't know,
it's, like, my fault pretty much.
1409
01:15:40,600 --> 01:15:43,285
I kind of wanna reach out,
but I'm not really sure
1410
01:15:43,440 --> 01:15:45,880
- what I should do about it, and...
- You should talk to them.
1411
01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:49,243
I mean, they seem like really caring,
understanding people, so...
1412
01:15:49,400 --> 01:15:51,164
Mm. Mm-hm.
1413
01:15:51,320 --> 01:15:53,243
Sorry, are you friends with them?
1414
01:15:53,440 --> 01:15:55,760
Yeah, Jess is in my drama class
and I have trig with Casey.
1415
01:15:55,880 --> 01:15:58,087
Oh, yeah. You know...
1416
01:15:58,280 --> 01:16:01,523
I mean, Jess is, like,

an amazing actress.
1417
01:16:01,680 --> 01:16:03,762
- Mm.
- And dancer.
1418
01:16:03,920 --> 01:16:04,967
Mm.
1419
01:16:05,160 --> 01:16:06,844
- And dresser.
- Okay.
1420
01:16:07,040 --> 01:16:10,169
And Casey, she's, like,
this, you know, fiery Latina.
1421
01:16:10,320 --> 01:16:11,685
You know, <i>caliente,</i> you know.
1422
01:16:11,840 --> 01:16:13,444
Yeah, she's very spicy.
1423
01:16:13,600 --> 01:16:18,322
But, you know, I'm not really friends
with them right now, so...
1424
01:16:23,920 --> 01:16:25,968
Is it intimidating?
1425
01:16:27,400 --> 01:16:28,845
What?
1426
01:16:29,840 --> 01:16:32,889
Being friends with...
And it's rare that I point this out,
1427
01:16:33,040 --> 01:16:35,805
because I do not subscribe to
the American ideal of feminine beauty.
1428
01:16:35,960 --> 01:16:38,770
But such powerful women?
1429
01:16:38,920 --> 01:16:41,048
<i>Oh, no. No, no, no.</i>

1430
01:16:41,240 --> 01:16:43,447
A friend of mine was wondering,
1431
01:16:43,600 --> 01:16:46,649
do they have dates to
the homecoming dance next weekend?
1432
01:16:46,800 --> 01:16:49,201
<i>I tried to keep my composure, but...</i>
1433
01:16:57,160 --> 01:16:59,640
Are you DUFFing me?
1434
01:17:00,840 --> 01:17:01,921
Excuse me?
1435
01:17:02,080 --> 01:17:03,411
You are.
1436
01:17:03,560 --> 01:17:05,562
This is a DUFF.
1437
01:17:06,120 --> 01:17:10,045
You're using me to try
to get closer to Jess and Casey,
1438
01:17:10,200 --> 01:17:13,204
because you think that
I'm approachable, aren't you?
1439
01:17:13,360 --> 01:17:16,603
Okay, look, when you said
that we should hang out Friday,
1440
01:17:16,760 --> 01:17:18,960
I thought you were hinting
that they were gonna be here.
1441
01:17:19,080 --> 01:17:21,447
Like, I thought you were saying
that they were into me.
1442
01:17:24,080 --> 01:17:25,889
I can't... I can't even believe this.
1443
01:17:26,040 --> 01:17:28,000

I can't believe for five seconds

I thought that...
1444
01:17:28,160 --> 01:17:30,845
- Bianca, Bianca.
- What?
1445
01:17:31,040 --> 01:17:33,361
Can I have my sweatshirt?
1446
01:17:33,760 --> 01:17:36,764
Heh, okay, you know what?
Here, you can have it.
1447
01:17:36,960 --> 01:17:38,121
Oh.
1448
01:17:40,560 --> 01:17:42,403
Oh, hell, no.
1449
01:17:45,480 --> 01:17:46,720
Mr. Sushi?
1450
01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:50,564
- The song was mine.
- Yeah.
1451
01:17:51,320 --> 01:17:53,322
I'm not surprised,
because it was a piece of shit.
1452
01:17:53,520 --> 01:17:56,091
And so are you. Have a nice night.
1453
01:18:01,040 --> 01:18:02,929
<i>- Hello?</i>
- Wes, it's Bianca.
1454
01:18:03,080 --> 01:18:04,411
<i>Just kidding. It's my voice mail.</i>
1455
01:18:05,760 --> 01:18:07,603
Wes, it's Bianca.
1456
01:18:07,760 --> 01:18:11,401
So it turns out that Toby's
been DUFFing me the whole time.

1457
01:18:11,560 --> 01:18:14,131
And I've just been thinking
about some stuff, and I just...
1458
01:18:14,280 --> 01:18:17,682
I'd really like to talk to you, okay?
Call me back.
1459
01:19:11,880 --> 01:19:13,405
Hey, I got your message.
1460
01:19:13,600 --> 01:19:16,410
Yeah, um, forget about it.
Just go home.
1461
01:19:16,600 --> 01:19:19,649
Look, I'm sorry about Toby.
1462
01:19:19,800 --> 01:19:21,450
Okay? He's an idiot.
1463
01:19:23,240 --> 01:19:25,766
You know, I saw you and Madison.
1464
01:19:27,840 --> 01:19:31,367
- Okay.
- You were at my special place.
1465
01:19:31,520 --> 01:19:33,010
You know, that's my Think Rock.
1466
01:19:33,800 --> 01:19:35,370
You said I could use it.
1467
01:19:35,520 --> 01:19:37,807
Not as a Motel 6, Wes.
1468
01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:39,764
You were on a date with Toby.
1469
01:19:41,800 --> 01:19:44,929
Are you seriously mad at me
right now?
1470
01:19:45,080 --> 01:19:46,320

I thought we were friends.

1471
01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:49,606
Come on, we're not friends.
1472
01:19:49,800 --> 01:19:51,848
You know,
people like you don't hang out
1473
01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:54,162
with people like me, you know?
1474
01:19:54,320 --> 01:19:57,210
That's just the way it is.
Football guys, they date hot chicks.
1475
01:19:57,360 --> 01:20:00,170
And people like me
don't date anybody.
1476
01:20:00,320 --> 01:20:02,243
I don't know why I thought
it could be different.
1477
01:20:02,440 --> 01:20:04,647
What are you talking about?
B, this isn't you.
1478
01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:09,124
Please, Wes, you're embarrassed
to be seen with me at school.
1479
01:20:09,320 --> 01:20:10,924
Okay?
1480
01:20:11,080 --> 01:20:12,605
It's just...
1481
01:20:12,760 --> 01:20:13,886
This was an experiment,
1482
01:20:14,040 --> 01:20:15,920
and it worked for you
and it didn't work for me,
1483
01:20:16,080 --> 01:20:18,811
so let's just forget it, okay?

1484
01:20:19,000 --> 01:20:21,048
- B...
- Please, just go home.
1485
01:21:37,760 --> 01:21:40,809
<i>So, what does homecoming
mean to me?</i>
1486
01:21:44,480 --> 01:21:45,720
<i>The word "homecoming" itself</i>
1487
01:21:45,920 --> 01:21:49,208
<i>conjures up feelings
of warmth and comfort.</i>
1488
01:21:51,840 --> 01:21:53,842
<i>High school offers me none of that.</i>
1489
01:21:54,000 --> 01:21:57,288
<i>I know some people will tell you
that homecoming is about celebrating,</i>
1490
01:21:57,440 --> 01:22:00,011
<i>but to the majority of kids in school,</i>
1491
01:22:00,160 --> 01:22:02,288
<i>it's just another night
where you feel pressure</i>
1492
01:22:02,440 --> 01:22:05,284
<i>to find the perfect date,
the perfect outfit,</i>
1493
01:22:05,480 --> 01:22:07,687
<i>and have the perfect evening.</i>
1494
01:22:11,560 --> 01:22:14,086
<i>Come Monday morning,
it's back to reality.</i>
1495
01:22:16,080 --> 01:22:18,287
<i>I don't know about you,</i>
1496
01:22:19,680 --> 01:22:22,524
<i>but I'm happy to sit this one out.</i>

1497
01:22:27,520 --> 01:22:29,409
<i>I didn't regret hitting "send,"</i>
1498
01:22:29,560 --> 01:22:32,609
<i>but I did regret how I left things
with Jess and Casey.</i>
1499
01:22:32,800 --> 01:22:36,009
So all of this because of some word?
1500
01:22:36,520 --> 01:22:38,727
It didn't feel like
just some word to me.
1501
01:22:38,880 --> 01:22:42,362
I think deep down I've always known
you guys were prettier than me,
1502
01:22:42,560 --> 01:22:44,440
and I felt like I couldn't talk
to you about it,
1503
01:22:44,560 --> 01:22:48,645
because you wouldn't understand what
it felt like to be your schlumpy friend.
1504
01:22:48,800 --> 01:22:52,441
But, you know, you're wrong,
because we all have our insecurities.
1505
01:22:53,000 --> 01:22:54,889
The point is, we're a team.
1506
01:22:55,040 --> 01:22:57,930
If anything, we're kind of chumps
in comparison to you.
1507
01:22:58,080 --> 01:23:00,811
Okay, now you went too far.
You had me and then you lost me.
1508
01:23:00,960 --> 01:23:03,804
Oh, no, she's right, B.
You are by far the smartest one
1509
01:23:03,960 --> 01:23:06,088
of the three of us.

You're loyal, you're funny.

1510
01:23:06,240 --> 01:23:10,131
And we can't be Bianca,
Jess and Casey without Bianca.
1511
01:23:11,840 --> 01:23:13,330
Thanks.
1512
01:23:13,480 --> 01:23:14,970
Oh.
1513
01:23:15,120 --> 01:23:16,167
Okay, you know what?
1514
01:23:16,320 --> 01:23:18,846
Tonight how about we ditch our dates
and have a girls' night?
1515
01:23:19,000 --> 01:23:20,729
- Done.
- What? No, no way.
1516
01:23:20,880 --> 01:23:23,406
Guys, it's homecoming.
You're definitely going.
1517
01:23:23,600 --> 01:23:26,251
I just... I can't see Wes.
1518
01:23:26,400 --> 01:23:28,971
Or Toby. Or anyone, for that matter.
1519
01:23:29,120 --> 01:23:32,841
Just let me stay here and lie
amongst the pizza a little longer.
1520
01:23:33,000 --> 01:23:35,321
- Absolutely not.
- Mom.
1521
01:23:35,760 --> 01:23:39,367
- You're listening at the door again?
- Yes, I was. This is juicy stuff.
1522
01:23:39,520 --> 01:23:40,726
Now it all makes sense.

1523
01:23:40,880 --> 01:23:43,611
Mom, I've been through
all of your stages, okay?
1524
01:23:43,760 --> 01:23:47,685
I am already at the fifth
and final stage: acceptance.
1525
01:23:47,840 --> 01:23:51,003
Honey, forget about the five stages.
I have got some real advice for you.
1526
01:23:51,160 --> 01:23:53,766
We're gonna call it, uh, stage 11.
1527
01:23:53,960 --> 01:23:55,928
Yeah, it's sort of acceptance plus,
1528
01:23:56,080 --> 01:23:58,481
where you realize who you are,
you accept it,
1529
01:23:58,640 --> 01:24:00,529
and then you, um,
1530
01:24:00,720 --> 01:24:04,122
turn it up to 11.
1531
01:24:04,280 --> 01:24:06,123
Is that supposed to be
Robert Pattinson?
1532
01:24:06,280 --> 01:24:08,886
No, Spinal Tap.
1533
01:24:09,040 --> 01:24:10,121
The movie, <i>Spinal Tap.</i>
1534
01:24:10,280 --> 01:24:11,964
"This one goes to 11."
1535
01:24:12,120 --> 01:24:13,645
Let's stop.
1536
01:24:13,800 --> 01:24:17,202

All right, honey, you're a weirdo.

1537
01:24:17,400 --> 01:24:20,324
Fine, own it.
Be the best weirdo you can be.
1538
01:24:20,480 --> 01:24:22,280
You have spent the last month
worrying so much
1539
01:24:22,400 --> 01:24:23,960
about what other people
think about you.
1540
01:24:24,120 --> 01:24:27,169
How about tonight you just worry
about what you think about you?
1541
01:24:27,320 --> 01:24:30,403
Now, I want you to get cleaned up,
I want you to go to that dance,
1542
01:24:30,560 --> 01:24:33,928
and rock that homecoming
like my Bianca Piper would.
1543
01:24:34,320 --> 01:24:36,004
Passion plus action...
1544
01:24:36,160 --> 01:24:39,130
- Oh, my God, I'm doing it again.
- No, no, it's okay, it's working.
1545
01:24:39,280 --> 01:24:42,682
You're good at this.
I'm feeling mad inspired.
1546
01:24:42,840 --> 01:24:44,763
I think I have an idea.
1547
01:25:09,680 --> 01:25:10,806
Hmm.
1548
01:25:11,000 --> 01:25:13,606
There it is. I gotta say,
this is some of my best work.
1549

01:25:13,760 --> 01:25:16,730

- You are very talented.
- It's really perfect, Jess.
1550
01:25:16,920 --> 01:25:20,606
All right, I just talked with the guys,
and I told them we're going alone.
1551
01:25:20,800 --> 01:25:24,122
- Ooh. Yes.
- Thanks.
1552
01:25:24,280 --> 01:25:25,691
So shall we?
1553
01:25:27,040 --> 01:25:28,326
Let's do this shit.
1554
01:25:28,480 --> 01:25:30,164
Fucking A.
1555
01:25:30,320 --> 01:25:32,163
- Mom.
- Sorry.
1556
01:25:47,200 --> 01:25:49,601
She looks great. She's pulling it off.
1557
01:25:49,760 --> 01:25:51,603
- Dude, she's 15 years old, man.
- She's a ten.
1558
01:25:51,760 --> 01:25:53,410
I don't care about 15. She's a ten.
1559
01:26:05,240 --> 01:26:09,165
And then she was all like, "Bitch,
if I wanted your opinion, I'd ask."
1560
01:26:09,320 --> 01:26:12,244
And I was all like, "Bitch, if I cared
what you thought, I'd ask."
1561
01:26:12,400 --> 01:26:14,528
Ugh, my grandma is so annoying.
1562
01:26:14,680 --> 01:26:17,968

- Ha-ha-ha.
- Wesley, what time is it?
1563
01:26:19,280 --> 01:26:20,361
Nine-fifteen.
1564
01:26:20,920 --> 01:26:22,968
Okay, they're announcing
king and queen soon,
1565
01:26:23,120 --> 01:26:26,124
so, Caitlyn, I wanna go over by the
stage and get the very best lighting.
1566
01:26:26,320 --> 01:26:28,049
I'll be right back.
1567
01:26:52,560 --> 01:26:54,130
Wow.
1568
01:27:01,000 --> 01:27:04,129
Um, you guys,
I'll be right back, okay?
1569
01:27:07,640 --> 01:27:09,802
- Awesome dress, Bianca.
- Thanks, Robin.
1570
01:27:09,960 --> 01:27:11,962
- Hey, Bianca, about the other...
- Shh, shh, shh.
1571
01:27:12,160 --> 01:27:13,525
Uh...
1572
01:27:14,160 --> 01:27:16,322
- Hey.
- Hey.
1573
01:27:18,440 --> 01:27:22,286
I could tell from across the room
that we might be into each other.
1574
01:27:22,440 --> 01:27:24,886
Now that I'm here, I'm sure.
Your move.
1575

01:27:25,040 --> 01:27:26,451

- Wow.
- How was that?
1576
01:27:26,600 --> 01:27:28,887
That was not bad.
1577
01:27:29,040 --> 01:27:30,929
Should I've gone with
"wiener in your mouth"?
1578
01:27:31,080 --> 01:27:34,289
- No, no. Definitely not.
- Ha, ha.
1579
01:27:34,440 --> 01:27:37,683
- Um...
- Wow, um...
1580
01:27:37,840 --> 01:27:39,001
You look beautiful.
1581
01:27:39,160 --> 01:27:40,924
Thanks.
1582
01:27:42,000 --> 01:27:45,686
Look, um, about what I said
the other day,
1583
01:27:45,840 --> 01:27:49,890
of course we're friends,
and that's cool.
1584
01:27:50,800 --> 01:27:57,524
But a guy I know once told me
that if you like somebody,
1585
01:27:57,680 --> 01:28:00,365
you should just
be straight-up with them
1586
01:28:00,520 --> 01:28:03,683
and tell them that you're into them.
1587
01:28:03,920 --> 01:28:07,891
So I guess that's
kind of what I'm doing.

1588
01:28:08,520 --> 01:28:10,841
Wait, you're into me?
1589
01:28:12,960 --> 01:28:14,166
Yeah.
1590
01:28:14,320 --> 01:28:16,004
Um...
1591
01:28:16,160 --> 01:28:20,927
I, uh... I kind of just got back together
with Madison.
1592
01:28:21,800 --> 01:28:23,040
Oh.
1593
01:28:24,000 --> 01:28:27,004
But that's good if you're happy.
1594
01:28:27,160 --> 01:28:28,924
- What the shit?
- Ow.
1595
01:28:29,080 --> 01:28:30,969
Get out of my way.
1596
01:28:33,440 --> 01:28:36,683
Wow, that is an interesting dress.
1597
01:28:36,840 --> 01:28:38,922
Who makes that, Build-A-Bear?
1598
01:28:39,840 --> 01:28:42,491
Since you can't seem
to leave my boyfriend alone,
1599
01:28:42,640 --> 01:28:45,211
I cannot wait to release
your video tomorrow.
1600
01:28:46,160 --> 01:28:49,528
Good. I'm glad you're excited about it.
Go right ahead.
1601
01:28:49,680 --> 01:28:51,967
Fine, I Will.

1602
01:28:52,880 --> 01:28:56,282
Plus, Wesley would never leave me
for some DUFF anyway.
1603
01:28:56,440 --> 01:28:58,169
- Look, Madison...
- It's okay.
1604
01:28:58,920 --> 01:29:02,720
Ooh. Madison,
you used to make me so upset,
1605
01:29:02,880 --> 01:29:04,882
but now I just feel bad for you.
1606
01:29:05,040 --> 01:29:06,610
Yeah, I'm somebody's DUFF.
1607
01:29:06,760 --> 01:29:09,604
Guess what, so are you.
So is everybody.
1608
01:29:09,760 --> 01:29:12,923
There's always gonna be somebody
prettier or more talented
1609
01:29:13,080 --> 01:29:14,809
or richer than you,
1610
01:29:14,960 --> 01:29:16,803
but it shouldn't affect
how you see yourself.
1611
01:29:16,960 --> 01:29:19,327
You label everybody
to try to keep them down,
1612
01:29:19,480 --> 01:29:22,131
but you end up missing out
on all this great stuff around you.
1613
01:29:22,280 --> 01:29:26,524
You have Wesley, and you treat him
like he's stupid, but he isn't.
1614
01:29:26,680 --> 01:29:28,603

And people don't like him,

because he's with you.
1615
01:29:28,800 --> 01:29:31,007
They like him
because he's, like, an amazing guy.
1616
01:29:31,160 --> 01:29:33,640
Look, I like myself.
1617
01:29:33,840 --> 01:29:35,808
I wouldn't wanna be anybody else.
1618
01:29:35,960 --> 01:29:39,009
And I realize now
that none of this matters to me.
1619
01:29:39,160 --> 01:29:41,640
But it does to you. It's your dream.
1620
01:29:41,800 --> 01:29:43,325
And I totally support that.
1621
01:29:43,520 --> 01:29:46,808
Just don't tear me down
for not giving a shit about your labels,
1622
01:29:46,960 --> 01:29:49,440
because in the end,
they're meaningless.
1623
01:29:49,600 --> 01:29:50,886
What?
1624
01:29:51,040 --> 01:29:53,646
Whatever you said
was meaningless, okay?
1625
01:29:53,800 --> 01:29:56,087
You don't even get it.
This is not my dream.
1626
01:29:56,280 --> 01:29:58,200
- I don't need to...
- Okay, Blue Devils.
1627
01:29:58,320 --> 01:29:59,401

Oh, my God, here it is.

1628
01:30:00,080 --> 01:30:01,605
It's happening.
1629
01:30:03,160 --> 01:30:07,290
Okay, Blue Devils,
it's time to crown our king and queen.
1630
01:30:09,440 --> 01:30:11,249
Hey, how'd it go?
1631
01:30:13,160 --> 01:30:16,721
- Actually, really good.
- This year's homecoming queen is...
1632
01:30:16,880 --> 01:30:19,008
This one's got me a little nervous.
1633
01:30:19,360 --> 01:30:21,249
...Ms. Madison Morgan.
1634
01:30:22,640 --> 01:30:24,165
Me? What?
1635
01:30:24,320 --> 01:30:25,890
Oh, my God, of course.
1636
01:30:26,040 --> 01:30:28,122
Madison!
1637
01:30:31,200 --> 01:30:33,043
- Congratulations, Madison.
- I knew it was me.
1638
01:30:33,200 --> 01:30:34,690
Keep it to yourself.
1639
01:30:35,080 --> 01:30:37,845
- Yeah, Madison.
- All right.
1640
01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:42,085
And this year's homecoming king is...
1641
01:30:42,240 --> 01:30:44,083

Drumroll, please.
1642
01:30:45,280 --> 01:30:48,090
...Mr. Wesley Rush.
1643
01:30:58,240 --> 01:31:00,083
Wesley Rush.
1644
01:31:00,240 --> 01:31:02,686
Homecoming king. Come on up.
1645
01:31:02,840 --> 01:31:05,810
Wesley. Wesley.
1646
01:31:06,600 --> 01:31:07,726
Wesley.
1647
01:31:11,560 --> 01:31:12,641
Where's Wesley?
1648
01:31:21,120 --> 01:31:22,724
Aren't you gonna go get your crown?
1649
01:31:24,240 --> 01:31:26,607
No, I'm gonna get the girl.
1650
01:31:46,320 --> 01:31:49,767
- Yeah, Bianca!
- Let's get the hell out of here.
1651
01:31:49,920 --> 01:31:53,083
All right. All right.
1652
01:31:54,160 --> 01:31:56,128
Yeah, all right.
1653
01:31:56,600 --> 01:31:58,090
Damn.
1654
01:31:58,280 --> 01:32:00,726
It was definitely the dress.
1655
01:32:00,880 --> 01:32:04,009
- That is really great.
- Yeah, he is hot.

1656
01:32:08,960 --> 01:32:10,720
Are we breaking into the newsroom
to hook up?
1657
01:32:10,800 --> 01:32:12,689
- You bet we are.
- Who are you?
1658
01:32:20,480 --> 01:32:21,606
- Wesley?
- What?
1659
01:32:21,800 --> 01:32:23,962
I just want to... I just want to...
One more thing.
1660
01:32:24,120 --> 01:32:26,805
- What? What?
- Just one thing.
1661
01:32:26,960 --> 01:32:29,042
No, they block out all the good sites.
1662
01:32:29,200 --> 01:32:30,929
- What are you doing?
- I just have to...
1663
01:32:31,360 --> 01:32:34,011
No, no, if you're doing
homework, I'm gonna kill myself.
1664
01:32:34,160 --> 01:32:36,242
It's just one quick thing.
It's for my article.
1665
01:32:36,440 --> 01:32:38,761
I'm feeling inspired.
1666
01:32:38,960 --> 01:32:41,645
- Okay, here, just rub my shoulders.
- Right.
1667
01:32:45,000 --> 01:32:47,241
<i>What does homecoming mean to me?</i>
1668
01:32:47,400 --> 01:32:49,448
<i>If you asked me

at the beginning of senior year,</i>

1669
01:32:49,600 --> 01:32:51,807
<i>I would've told you,
"Absolutely nothing."</i>
1670
01:32:52,000 --> 01:32:54,571
<i>But tonight,
possibly the greatest night of my life,</i>
1671
01:32:54,720 --> 01:32:56,324
<i>I have changed my tune.</i>
1672
01:32:56,760 --> 01:32:59,331
<i>You know that one moment in
high school that changes everything?</i>
1673
01:32:59,480 --> 01:33:01,767
Okay, I think I can
probably finish this later.
1674
01:33:01,920 --> 01:33:05,322
<i>It all started senior year,
about a month before homecoming.</i>
1675
01:33:05,480 --> 01:33:08,324
<i>I was cruising the halls
with my two best friends...</i>
1676
01:33:13,520 --> 01:33:15,761
Wow, she's awesome.
1677
01:33:15,920 --> 01:33:18,685
Yeah, she is. I should forward this.
1678
01:33:18,840 --> 01:33:21,969
- Viral?
- Viral.
1679
01:33:22,120 --> 01:33:24,009
I'm a DUFF.
1680
01:33:24,880 --> 01:33:26,723
I am a DUFF.
1681
01:33:26,880 --> 01:33:28,370
Yep, that's me.

1682
01:33:28,520 --> 01:33:30,727
- I'm a DUFF.
- I'm a DUFF.
1683
01:33:34,400 --> 01:33:36,926
Okay, girl, I know some DUFFs too.
1684
01:33:37,880 --> 01:33:39,120
Wow.
1685
01:33:39,280 --> 01:33:41,203
For what it's worth,
what you wrote here
1686
01:33:41,360 --> 01:33:43,203
struck a chord with me as well.
1687
01:33:43,360 --> 01:33:48,526
I mean, I know you won't believe me,
but I was the DUFF out of my friends.
1688
01:33:49,360 --> 01:33:51,203
What? No.
1689
01:33:51,360 --> 01:33:54,443
There was no cool name for it
like "the DUFF."
1690
01:33:54,600 --> 01:33:58,002
It was, like, "the dipshit,"
uh, douche bag.
1691
01:33:58,160 --> 01:34:00,811
A. Urkel. Asian Urkel.
1692
01:34:00,960 --> 01:34:03,440
- Nerd ass.
- Okay, no. Didn't need...
1693
01:34:03,600 --> 01:34:05,489
- Didn't need the help, you know?
- Oh, sorry.
1694
01:34:08,480 --> 01:34:09,606
Whoa, look at this.

1695
01:34:10,160 --> 01:34:12,640
The site has thousands
of comments and likes on it.
1696
01:34:14,080 --> 01:34:15,570
But they're positive this time.
1697
01:34:15,720 --> 01:34:17,085
<i>Mr. Arthur was right.</i>
1698
01:34:17,240 --> 01:34:19,561
<i>Kids started writing to me
with their own DUFF stories,</i>
1699
01:34:19,720 --> 01:34:20,801
<i>and when I posted those,</i>
1700
01:34:20,960 --> 01:34:24,442
<i>more kids responded
until it just became its own thing.</i>
1701
01:34:25,560 --> 01:34:27,847
<i>Oh, and Wesley?
He passed science.</i>
1702
01:34:28,000 --> 01:34:29,684
<i>He's going to Ohio State in the fall.</i>
1703
01:34:29,840 --> 01:34:32,160
<i>And since I got into Northwestern,
we can visit each other.</i>
1704
01:34:33,560 --> 01:34:34,971
<i>A lot.</i>
1705
01:34:46,280 --> 01:34:48,203
Hey, neighbor-slash-boyfriend.
1706
01:34:48,360 --> 01:34:50,886
Hi, neighbor-slash-girlfriend.
1707
01:34:54,240 --> 01:34:55,810
You hungry? I'm hungry.
1708
01:34:56,000 --> 01:34:57,490
- Yeah, I could eat.

- Good.
1709
01:34:57,640 --> 01:34:59,449
Because I was hoping
to take you to dinner.
1710
01:34:59,600 --> 01:35:01,921
Ooh. How about a little
Dave & Buster's?
1711
01:35:02,080 --> 01:35:03,206
- Skee-Ball?
- Ah!
1712
01:35:03,360 --> 01:35:06,887
- A dark booth? Yeah.
- Ah! I love it when you talk dirty to me.
1713
01:35:07,040 --> 01:35:11,250
- Maybe we'll accidentally touch knees.
- Oh, can I?
1714
01:35:11,400 --> 01:35:13,687
Bianca kiss Wes now?
1715
01:35:13,840 --> 01:35:16,127
Oh, monster voice sexy.
1716
01:35:17,600 --> 01:35:21,650
<i>In the end, it's not about
popularity or even getting the guy.</i>
1717
01:35:21,800 --> 01:35:22,961
<i>It's about understanding</i>
1718
01:35:23,120 --> 01:35:25,327
<i>that no matter what label
is thrown your way,</i>
1719
01:35:25,480 --> 01:35:27,642
<i>only you can define yourself.</i>
1720
01:35:27,800 --> 01:35:29,882
<i>Take it from a DUFF.</i>
1721
01:35:51,040 --> 01:35:53,884
Hit that... Hit that, uh...

That long one in the middle.

1722
01:35:54,040 --> 01:35:55,849
It's called a spacebar.
1723
01:35:59,200 --> 01:36:01,282
<i>- Hey.
- Now, that's a classic look.</i>
1724
01:36:01,480 --> 01:36:04,848
<i>You could be on the cover of GQ.
Back cover.</i>
1725
01:36:05,000 --> 01:36:07,685
<i>Just a vest. Okay, MacGyver.</i>
1726
01:36:07,840 --> 01:36:10,844
<i>You talk about my son
one more ******* time.</i>
1727
01:36:22,640 --> 01:36:23,687
Bluh!
1728
01:36:23,880 --> 01:36:26,326
I swear,
I'm just feeling the pressure.
1729
01:36:44,040 --> 01:36:45,485
If this makes it to Toshi,
1730
01:36:45,640 --> 01:36:47,642
- I'm telling you now...
- Toshi.
1731
01:36:49,840 --> 01:36:51,683
- Now I know you...
- Ha, ha.
1732
01:36:52,240 --> 01:36:53,730
- Now I know that you...
- Ha, ha.
1733
01:37:03,960 --> 01:37:05,962
- Ha-ha-ha.
- </i>This is not...</i>
1734
01:37:06,120 --> 01:37:08,088

- This is a...
- Hmm. Not the article I want.
1735
01:37:08,240 --> 01:37:10,607
- Dad, 17 pa...
- But it article we need.
1736
01:37:15,720 --> 01:37:17,768
<i>- Hey, Trevor.
- Have fun tonight, Trevor.</i>
1737
01:37:17,920 --> 01:37:20,241
<i>- I hate you.
- No, you look adorable.</i>
1738
01:37:20,400 --> 01:37:22,562
<i>Mm. Ish.</i>
1739
01:37:22,720 --> 01:37:24,484
<i>I'm not happy!</i>
1740
01:37:24,640 --> 01:37:26,529
I haven't been kissed in years.
1741
01:37:26,680 --> 01:37:29,160
- Can we do one more...?
- Okay, not again.
1742
01:37:32,960 --> 01:37:34,564
Oh, are we making a movie?
1742
01:37:35,305 --> 01:37:41,410
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