THE FUNNY FRIENDS

CHARACTERS:
Don -> aka baba solo (main character)
Abi -> aka spin doctor
Nana-> aka ladies
Andy ->

In a city in a foreign country lived four young men. They didnt have much in
common except same country of origin and ethnic background. Their names were
Don aka baba Solo, Abi the spin doctor, Nana the ladies and Andy. Each of the
friends had certain distinct characteristics in them; especially Don and Abi. Don,
having athletic body, with good muscles and 180 cm tall was one of the most adored
characters among the friends. He was well known for his wit, smooth and eloquent
speech, love for ladies and mostly beer and generosity. Everybody knew about these
habits and the alcohol became almost part and parcel of his daily consumption. Abi
on the other hand was slender in body, almost same height as Don and quite talkative.
He was the source of information to the friends for he knew almost everything about
anything. On the other hand, Nana was silent, smooth talking, considered honest and
a polite family man. Friends liked being around him because he was jovial. He had a
funny way of expressing himself and smiling. He was darker than all the friends in
complexion and this made his teeth to shine whiter than anyone else when he smiled.
Andy was shortest but also the fattest of the friends, he was known for the love for
women, eating and drinking. He was however, a hard working fellow who could
manage to drink a barrel of beer, eat a whole chicken and a loaf of bread till late in
the night but still manage to wake up and go to work the following morning.
Irrespective of all these variances, these friends usually walked together, drunk
together, ate together and did a lot of things together. They kept in touch with each
other practically on a daily basis and were almost inseparable.

THE GENESIS
It all started sometimes back in the year 2001 when Abi first came to the city from the village, Don
was already living in the city with his cohabitant who was at the time pregnant and a sister who had
just come to visit him from his motherland.
It was a Saturday evening, having taken some few beers at home; Don decided to stroll to town to
his normal bar to have some more beers and whisky before going to the club to shake his body.
Upon arrival into the bar, he met a stranger who he had not seen in the place before. Having his last
puff of Marlboro he turned to the stranger and said Excuse me. Are you new here? Ive never seen
you before The stranger, baffled at the audacity of Don turned to him and said politely as he
stretched his arms for a handshake My name is Abi, Im from Kenya and just arrived recently for
my studies. Dons eyes flipped and without saying a word grabbed the hand of the stranger turned
friend in a split of a second towards the counter. What do you drink? He asked removing his
wallet from the jacket pocket. I can take anything you like but not vodka. Happy to meet the
friend with whom he could finally speak in Swahili (their national language), he ordered two shots
of whisky and two glasses of beer.
As was his tradition, the whisky was to be blessed and contents emptied at the counter before
moving to the table with the beers to pass time with friends. He took both the whisky glasses and
handed one to Abi and raised his glass to the air as he said Cheers my brother and welcome to the
club. Having emptied the whisky, he took the glasses of beers from the counter, handed one to Abi
and gestured with his hand that it was time for them to go and sit in his usual sitting place.
The glasses were placed on the table gently as in reverence and after relaxing for a while Don
started the conversation My name is Don; I come from Kenya too from a small village in Nyanza
province. What about you? Which part of Kenya are you from? Abi was now feeling more relaxed,
finally someone from the same country and probably from the same area. Lifting his head with joy,
he said Im from Nyanza too, a place called Oyugis. This opened a whole new perspective to the
trend of the discussion. Both lads from the same home town; meeting in a foreign country in a bar.
This is going to be a good evening, Don said I also come from Oyugis. So you are my homie
man. This calls for a new drink. They gulped their beers as Don reached for his cigarettes from the
jacket pocket. He extended the box towards Abi and asked cigarettes? Abi declined and simply
said politely Sorry I dont smoke. So Don took a stick of the cigarette from the pack and placed
the pack on the table; he lit his cigarette and as he took the first puff his eyes lit as if he had just
made a very important scientific invention. Abi, he started do you like dancing?

Before Abi could answer to the question, a stranger came to the table where they were sitting with
glasses almost empty and Don smoking his cigarettes before going for refuel. Is this place free?
asked the stranger Can I join your table? Having met these people before and knowing their
interference into other peoples discussions, Don rejected and told the stranger to go and sit
somewhere else for the place was fully occupied and they had a lot of catching up to do. Having
dismissed the stranger and finished with the cigarette, He bounced to the counter, highly
enthusiastic about the meeting. Same drinks were ordered and the bar tender requested to do some
table service to their table if possible.
With the drinks on the table, he asked again so where were we? Oh yeah, I was asking you if you
like dancing. Still waiting for the reply, he raised the whisky glass and said cheers to his new
friend again. Abi didnt seem to be a keen whisky drinker and this time the whisky went the wrong
way and he choked. Don still curious just smiled and consoled the friend take it easy man, too
strong for you? Abi liked drinking only beer but was not a good friend of whisky. It was thus
decided that no more whisky for him anymore that night but the beers can do. I dont know but of
course if there are good dancing places I can join you he finally said after clearing his throat and
drying the tears. Deal was sealed and it was the beginning of a long night for Abi and Don.
There was a nice gig in town and the DJ was a good friend of Don. It was a hip hop party night in
one of the famous clubs and Don was more than obliged to introduce his village boy to night life of
the city. Having taken enough dosage of the drinks to jump start the night, the journey started from
the local bar towards the city center. Party time was calling and Don couldnt wait any longer to
reach the place. They boarded a bus to town at around 22.30 in order to avoid the long queues; they
met a friend on the bus on their way. Hey man! Whats up dude? Going to hip hop party tonight?
asked Don, Yeah man! Where else would you go to in this town on a night like this? said the
friend. Abi, meet my friend John. John, this is my friend and home mate Abi, He is new in town so
I thought of showing him places. John and Abi shook hands and that was almost it since John
wasnt so keen on talking to strangers.
There were a series of activities going on within the town, cabs moving all around, police vehicles
everywhere to maintain order, loud disco music from the clubs and some people who had taken a
little bit too much of alcohol a bit too early mumbling words as they walked the street. Abi was
astonished at all these but Don urged him to maintain his calm as it is the usual night life of the city.
One thing surprised him though, there was a drunkard hurling insults at the police officer who tried
to assist him to get up. What? This drunkard is abusing the police and they are just begging him?

This is strange, never in my country. He would have gotten a thorough beating. Don smiled and
replied this is how this country works. Dont worry, here you can argue with the police but they
wont do anything more than asking your id or simply telling you to go away if they have nothing to
do with you. The two walked slowly and briskly to the club and true to their prediction there was
already a long queue to get in.
Sorry sir! You have to go to the end of the queue and wait for your turn. said the doorman as Don
and Abi approached the door. Don was very creative and witty in these kinds of situations. He knew
the other doorman well and using his charm and disarming smile said excuse me but Im on the
VIP list and we are actually late for the show. This friend of mine should be performing with the DJ
soon. Access was immediately guaranteed and the next hassle was leaving the coats in the
cloakroom. People were pushing forth and backwards to get their jackets taken. Realizing that there
was no order, Don turned to Abi and commanded Give me your jacket and wait inside, Ill catch
up with you in a second. Given the advantage of his body structure, he lifted the jackets up on the
air, waited for people to surge back and took that advantage to gather the momentum and pushed
himself past the sea of humanity. Jackets paid, cloak tickets safely in the pockets, the scene was set
for partying.
Abi was mesmerized by the sea of humanity and the mood in the club. Everybody was on the floor
dancing, some ladies wearing mini-skirts and high heeled shoes not able to walk straight, perhaps
due to too much of alcohol or lack of practice on how to use them. He turned to Don curiously and
asked How do these people go home? Dont they feel cold outside in this weather? It was winter
and the weather outside wasnt that human friendly. Don sighed and told his friend Dont worry
man, lets go and get something to drink. Ladies always walk with bags and by the time they are
out, theyll all be in long trousers and heavy clothes. Those are just attires for the club. They went
to the counter, ordered the drinks and started walking around the club looking for a strategic place
where they could see every event on the dance floor. Don happened to know quite many people in
the club both males and females. Hardly could he walk a step before somebody stopped him to have
a quick word with him. He spotted some ladies sitting in a corner and asked Abi to join him to the
place so that they could say hi to the ladies. In his casual and joking manner he advanced to the
ladies and said Hello ladies! How are you tonight? Mind us joining your table? The ladies giggled
and replied almost in unison Hey Don! When will you stop your stubborn jokes? Cmon put your
ass down here with us. No sooner had they sat than Mary, one of the friends got excited and asked
So Don, who is your new friend? Ive never seen him before. He turned to Abi and told him to
introduce himself to the ladies as he excused himself to go and greet one of his old time best
friends, the DJ.

It was time for the show to start; the DJ played one of those old school hip hops favoured by Don
and his friends. Abi was still talking to the ladies when he heard a voice shouting his name from the
microphone This is a welcome song to our friend Abi, ladies take him to the dance floor and show
him how we party. After the announcement, Abi still shy and perplexed found himself on the
dance floor with the ladies dancing around him in circles as Don and the other friends watched from
a distance and laughing their heads off. The music changed and Abi fuming with shyness went
straight to Don where he was now standing engaged in a deep conversation with another lady. Oh
man! gasped Abi What is wrong with you? Next time you better warn somebody if you want to
do something like that. Don was amused at his friends embarrassment, with a wide smile on his
face, he patted his friend on the shoulder and whispered take a drink and relax man, by the way I
think Mary likes you. I could see it from her looks and the moves when you were dancing. Turning
to the table, he took a glass of beer, gave it to Abi and said Here. Lets drink, the party is soon
over. These chaps are closing in about half an hour. They drunk, mingled with friends and through
Don Abi met too many new people who he could later befriend. The party was soon over and it was
time to bid farewell to the friends and thank the DJ for good music. After that Don told Abi that
they have to go to the cloakroom to pick their jackets before the crowd starts moving in order to
avoid long queue.
On their way to the bus Abi asked Don where to catch the night bus to his place. As it turned out, he
was living en route to Dons place and this simplified the whole process of having to wait for him to
get his bus first. On their way home, they both fell asleep in the bus as they were exhausted after the
evening dance and the heavy drinking. Buuuuuu....the bus went as they slept and snored
comfortably. Hey gentlemen! This is the last stop of the bus. Where are you going? The voice
sounded like a sweet dream to their ears as they were deeply a sleep. The driver shook them and
asked the same question, this time with a louder voice almost shouting. They rubbed their eyes,
shook their heads and finally opened their eyes to realize that they were the only people in the bus.
Don looked outside from the window and turned to Abi saying I live there. We passed your stage
and there is no bus to go back. You can come to sleep at my place and leave tomorrow in the day
time. So off the bus they went and started walking towards Dons house.
It is one thing to live with a woman and another to live alone, especially if you want to come home
at odd hours drunk and with a new friend. Don opened the door gently as he could and with extra
care not to wake up neither the girlfriend nor the sister who were already sleeping. Maybe he was
too drunk to be exceptionally careful or then the girlfriend was not sleeping but checking at the
clock waiting for his arrival. As they stepped into the house, the lady sprung from the bed like
someone who just saw the worst of all nightmares with the phone on her hand It is almost 05.00 in

the morning, where are you coming from? You look pathetic and too drunk. By the way who is your
friend? The questions came in a quick series that Don didnt have time to think. All he could say
were Sorry darl. I went to town for a drink but then I met some friends who requested me to go
with them to a party. This is my friend Abi. He is new in town and we slept in the bus and went past
his stop. She looked at them with rage and straight inquisitive eyes that could skin someone alive
and asked again So what is your plan Mister with that friend of yours? The voice, the looks and
the pace of breathe sounded an alarm of an impending tug of war. Tired and drunk, none of the
boys were ready for a duel at this odd hour of the night, Abi was scared to hell and all this time
didnt utter even a word but took refuge by standing behind Don and closer to the door just in case
there is a need to escape.
That your friend is not sleeping here!! were the next words as Don tried to pull the spare mattress
from the bedroom in order to make a sleeping place for his friend. You can go back to where you
were drinking or at least to his place she continued. This night is not going to be easy, Don thought
aloud as he dropped the mattress back to its place and turned to face the lady. He is known to be a
diplomat and a good negotiator but with his condition, he had no time for that; coupled to that is the
fact that he was the main tenant of the house since the lady moved in to stay with him after she was
thrown out by her abusive ex-boyfriend. He looked at the lady in the eye and said softly Darling,
go back to bed and sleep. Ill come soon and lets talk about these issues when we wake up. In the
meantime Abi is spending the night here. If you have a problem with that you can go away and
come back after he has left. That marked the end of the night drama, after the statement the lady
banged the toilet door as Don made the bed for Abi. Finally when all was prepared he said sleep
my friend, good night. Lets talk more tomorrow and have some breakfast together before you
leave
To newcomers, winter might sometimes be really deceiving. It was a bright Sunday morning, Don
woke up with his head heavy and pumping as if someone was pounding a thousand drums. Abi was
already awake, standing by the window enjoying the warm sun rays coming through the glass. Even
though he was tired and having a terrible hangover, the spirits were high as he thought that summer
had come. On seeing Don he shouted Good that you are awake, can we go for a walk outside
today? I would like to know more about town and the weather just seems too good to be true. Its
really warm today. Confused about what his friend meant, he moved closer to the friend,
examined the thermometer and looked at Abi pointing at the meter. Do you know how to read
temperatures? Here, look at this, he said taking a closer look at the meter himself, it is -200C. Try
your luck if you want to freeze till death. Abi did not believe that the weather could be that cold so
Don asked him to accompany him to the balcony as he went to smoke his morning cigarette. As he

stepped out of the house without a jacket, Abi just yelled fuck!! and ran back to the house for
warmth.
Don had many talents and one of them was conflict resolution. He was very good at cooking and
having misbehaved the previous night, decided to make breakfast for everyone. It is what he called
continental breakfast; this was composed of eggs, bacon, cheese vegetables and some other
additives that he designed himself. With breakfast ready and everything nicely laid on the table, he
dashed back to the bedroom and with a gentle touch woke up the lady as he whispered sweetie, the
breakfast is ready. Could you please join us on the table before it gets cold? The lady and the sister
happily joined and everybody was once more in a good mood and no beefs were carried forward
from the last night. Everything was once more settled and the program of the day had to be decided.
After eating, Abi introduced himself to Dons girlfriend and sister and even exchanged some
pleasantries. Don teased the girlfriend about the drama she caused the previous night and joked of
the number of ladies who were craving for him in the club.
Having eaten and rested for a while, Abi, though still enjoying the company of the new friend
started feeling uneasy and wanted to go home since he didnt inform his roommate that he would be
out the whole night. Everybody considered his concern and Don cunningly suggested that he
accompanies Abi to his place just to ensure that he reaches safely. They bade farewell and left for
the bus. However, Don had some other agenda in mind; his belief: Hangover goes away through the
channel it came. So instead of going straight to the bus, he turned to Abi lets go to the shop and
buy some few beers to remove the hangover. We need to be quick since the ladies can come out for
a walk and see us. They rushed to the shop, straight to the beer section and Don picked six cans
and said let us go!
The ride to Abis place lasted only about 10 minutes by bus. The roommate was deeply worried
about him since he was new in town and didnt know places or many people. We explained to him
what happened and he just laughed and showed a sigh of relief. Don reached for his shopping bag
and removed one beer for himself. He then handed the bag to Abi as he opened his can and said
take one if you want then please put the rest to the fridge. He then went to the sitting room, sat
down with legs raised to the table as he enjoyed his beer. Abis roommate was such a charming but
quiet guy who didnt talk much unless asked a question, he however liked drinking too but had not
gotten the chance drink to the previous night since he was at work. With Don and Abi already
enjoying their beer, he also got interested in drinking; so he opened his small cupboard near the TV
stand and pulled out a bottle of Jameson whisky. He held it close to his chest as if hugging a loved
one who has been gone for a very long time. Finally he lifted his head, faced Don and asked care
for some man? It was as if some manna had dropped from heaven, Dons eyes glittered as he rose

up to pick a glass from the shelf and screamed now you are talking my man. Hell yes, give me
some. They drank the whisky and beers while listening to music and having small talks about the
weather, the country and the daily life.
It is approaching 18.00 and the shops are soon closing when Abi realizes that the drinks are almost
running out and there isnt enough food for the evening in the fridge. Given that the following day
is a Monday and everybody except Abi have to go to work early in the morning before going to
school, it is decided that only another 12 beers can be bought and some quick food which is easy to
make. Abi, being the new guy is left behind to man the house and do the dishes as his roommate
and Don rush to the shop to do the shopping. On the way to the shop, Don tells the story of the
previous evening, how things went and how happy he was to have finally met someone from his
village. Andrew, Abis roommate, nods his head in appreciation of the help Don gave to his
roommate and tries to figure out how the night was. He finally turns to Don and says Thank you
Don. That was kind of you to give Abi such a nice treatment. Ill foot the bill for our shopping for
now.
Back in the house Abi is struggling, he doesnt know where to get the shop for the dishes and
cannot read the instructions as they are written in a language completely foreign to him. As Andrew
opens the door, Abi comes running with two plastic bottles on his hand Hey Andrew, which one of
these is for the plates? Andrew smiles as he puts the grocery bag down and hands the beers to Don
then turns to Abi Sorry but none of those. He moves towards to sink, open the cupboard and picks
up a different bottle here, u can use this one he says as he hands over the bottle to Abi. As Abi did
the dishes, Don and Andrew sat in the sitting room watching a movie and drinking their whisky and
the beers. The movie was so interesting that no one noticed how fast the time went by. As it ended,
Don looked at his watch and said Oh my God! Its already too late. I have to go home before my
madam gets mad. Today Im gonna be hanged for my sins. He got up from the sit and walked
towards the door to put on his shoes. As he opened the door to leave, he looked back and waved
bye guys, it was nice. Abi! Lets keep in touch. Next weekend well go somewhere.