From Loving You (1-9/20) Author: Celtic Child Rating: PG-13 to R Spoilers: IWRY and I think that's it.

Feedback: This is my first real fic so yes, please! [email protected] Distribution: My site (TWG), Sempiternal Beloved, and anyone who wants it! Just ask first, please. WARNINGS: Rape Warning, Angst, and Fluff. Summary: Angel is human and comes back to Sunnydale for Buffy, but she's with someone else. And it's definitely not who he thought she'd be with. Memories of their past resurface, but will they be able to make it through them?

Behind the Door I never noticed That before you were there, There was a door, Which behind, my heart would live, Never realizing all it had to give. I thought that I knew what lay inside, What feelings lurked, nothing to hide. I thought I understood life and love, My lot, I thought, Fit like a glove. But then I awoke and saw the dawn, I felt the warmth, the dark was gone. It was, as if, I was reborn that day, Your path and mine went the same way. ~ Lauryn Kreutzer ~ Ch. 1 What Happened? Its been almost a year since hes come back. But he didnt come back to me. See Im engaged now. But not to who he thought I would be. No Rileys gone. He left just like Angel did. Wow I actually said his name that time. Willow and I usually dont say his name, not since hes come back anyway. We simply refer to him as A. Thats how I used to refer to him as back when I was 16 and wrote about how hot I thought he was and everything in my diary. Ha! God, we were lame back then. And he was so annoying! I mean think about it. He was always watching me and following me around. I believe we called that stalking! But, then he kissed me that night in my bedroom, and it was all over. Other than my usual worries, he was the only thing I thought about. His eyes, his hair, his lips ooh his lips were definitely thought about after he kissed me. But he said we couldnt be together. Vampire Slayer. We just couldnt mix. Ha! Yeah, that lasted long! So about 4 months later, we were finally doing the whole dating thing. Everybody was ok with us, except Xander, but I dont care what he thinks of us. Whoa! Correction: thought of us. We are no longer together. But we were once The night I turned 17, we were really, truly together that night. I gave myself to him all of me. My heart,

my soul, my body, and oh yeah! My fucking virginity! Hello people?! Did we forget that minor detail? Ugh! Ok, now I sound like Cordelia. She didnt come back with A, by the way. She comes and visits him at his little mansion sometimes. Rather pathetic I think. But, no one really listens to me anymore not since Mom Ok, not going there. Still a little bit of a sore spot. Oh, and Xander finally married Anya. Hes happy and Im glad. Oz came home to Willow about a year and a half ago. They married a little over 2 months ago. It was a simple, but elegant wedding and Willow looked so beautiful. I was her maid of honor and Xander was Ozs best man. But now Im engaged myself and have my own wedding to plan. Giles is going to walk me down the aisle since #1: Hes been more of a dad to me than my real father and #2: Im not, and dont plan on, telling dad Im getting married. I cant wait! Spike and I are going to be so hap oh, well now you know Im engaged to Spike, the now 2nd known vampire with a soul. Ch. 2 Welcome Home BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Alright! Im up! God! said Angel as he smacked the alarm clock next to his bed. It had been going off since 9:00. Hed simply been ignoring it. He looked over at the time: 2:00 in the afternoon. Hed been sleeping in since hed become human, granted, but ever since hed returned to Sunnydale, to her hed been sleeping in even later. He didnt really see a reason to get up anymore. There wasnt anyone to get up for. It wouldnt have been so bad if shed been engaged to Riley. He could get over that with time, a lot of time, yes; but still. But Spike!! Never, in all his 245 years of existence, would he have thought that his Buffy, his girl, would end up with Spike. It was sick! God, if Xander hated him when he was with Buffy, he could only imagine Xanders feelings towards Spike. I dont remember this being in the Powers brochure for becoming human. Note to self: kick the Powers asses next time I see them. He rolled out of bed and headed for the shower. He needed a drink. I think Ill hit the Bronze later, he thought. Buffy should be out patrolling tonight so hopefully I wont run into her. God, I never thought that I wouldnt want to see her. About a year ago, I would have given anything just to see her one more time. Not even talk to her, just just to see her, ya know? Her golden hair in the sun, her sparkling green eyes, and her beautiful little body. Why am I brooding? he said out loud to no one as he stepped from the shower. Its over. Were over! Buffys with Sp someone else. Shes getting married. Get over her and what you had in the past!! he yelled at himself in the mirror. He could do that now, since he had a reflection. Im starting to think that things were simpler when I didnt have one, he said to himself. He went into his closet and grabbed a pair of black slacks and a black V neck sweater. He put them on and went into the kitchen to get something to eat. He opened the fridge and looked inside: empty. Alright Ill hit the store then come back, eat, then go over to the Bronze for my now, much needed, drink. Hopefully, with no Buffy encounters.

How had things gone so wrong in only a year? What a way to come home Ch. 3 Close Encounters Buffy and Spike, Willow and Oz, and Xander and Anya all walked into the Bronze. The girls were dressed to kill in short skirts, tight shirts and pants, and leather boots. The guys were loving it. Everyone except the lonely, brooding, ex-vampire sitting over at the bar. He hated seeing her now in general, let alone with Spike and that she seemed happy with him. He kept his gaze on them and stuck to the shadows. She could feel his eyes on her. She could always tell when he was near. I guess I should talk to him. Maybe just say hi or something. Hey, Will, um Im thirsty. You wanna come with me to get some drinks? Willow knew who was there: A. She had spotted him when they came in but chose not to mention it. Buffy probably wanted to go talk to him, just say hi or something, and needed her to go with her so that A wouldnt cause a scene or something. Uh, yeah, sure! she replied. She followed Buffy over to the bar. 2 strawberry daiquiris, please, she told the bartender. ID? he asked. They both showed him they were over 21, he smiled and went to prepare their drinks. Buffy turned and saw him. Hey, Willow, look whos here, she said nonchalantly. Buffy, I know why you dragged me with you over here to the bar. So that A wouldnt make a scene when you talk to him. I saw him over here when we walked in. Buffy smiled and looked at the floor. She laughed and said, You know me too well, Willow. Yeah well, I AM your best friend! she exclaimed. OK, lets get this over with, Buffy said grimly. They walked over to where A was sitting. When he saw them approaching, he stood. Almost as a reflex, he looked over her body. He couldnt help it. His eyes just sort of roamed over her physique. Buffy suddenly felt uncomfortable and crossed her arms over her chest. Not like Ive never seen it before, he thought to himself. He rolled his eyes, sighed, and mumbled a Sorry, as he, too, crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. So, umm How have you been? Buffy asked, trying to break the ice. You could say Ive been better, he replied bitterly. She let out a breath and angrily replied, Look, Im trying to be friends here, A I, I mean Angel. He gave her a funny look. At least I can say her name out loud, he thought. He glared at her and responded with, Yeah, well friends dont stab each other in the back last time I checked! Stabbed? Stabbed you in the back? Excuse me but youre the one who left me!! she shouted bitterly. People were beginning to glance at them. I could have sworn we covered this a million times, but lets drill it into your head one more time shall we? She gasped at this but he continued before she could interrupt him. I didnt just leave you I left FOR you. So that you could have a normal life. So you could have children a and go out in the sun. Not so you could just move on to some other vampire! She looked at him in disbelief. He continued. Look, Buffy, I just want to ask you something and then Ill leave, Ok? Buffy nodded weakly. Why Spike? he asked. He looked at her desperately, waiting for her answer. She looked down at the floor and could feel Willow watching her, as if asking her the same question. She looked up at him with tears streaming down her face and looked into his dark eyes. Because it was the closest I could get to it being you, she whispered. She paused and saw that he was stunned, a vampire with a soul, she finished. He just kept looking at her. He would have never expected that to be the answer. He moved just to be closer to her but she backed away. Dont touch me, she whispered, holding up her hand. I think we should be going, said Willow guiding Buffy away. Bye, Angel, Willow said as she smiled sympathetically at him. Yeah, he said as he nodded.

Spike walked up scowling. What in the bloody hell did you do to her? Spike had him pinned against the wall. I was just about to ask you the same question, Angel replied. Spike growled at him. What are you getting at, mate? Shes changed. Shes not like she used to be. Strong, glowing, would give up her life to save the world. Now shed give up her life just to get out of this damn world. He threw Spike off of him. Spike looked at him, knowing he was right, and hating him for it, too. No, shes not the same. She hasnt been since you abandoned her, then Fish Boy blew off, then Dawn showed up, oh and lets not forget her mum going and dieing! No shes not the same, but what did you expect? Angel looked away knowing that he was part of, if not the main, reason why her life had been so bad lately. Why, Spike? he said looking up. Why are you letting her think that you can give her a normal life? I couldnt! And youre in the same spot I was in. In fact, if I didnt know any better Id say you wanted to be me, he said. Spike growled at him. Just let her go, Spike. Youre holding her back, and you know it! Let her go, please. Just let her go, he asked pleadingly. Right! So you can have a go at her and now that youre human you two can have this so called normal life, get married, have 2.5 kids, a house with a little white picket fence and drive a bloody minivan?! I dont think so, Peaches. Tell ya what, though. If we ever get a divorce, you can have her. I know youre not much for seconds, but its better than nothing, right?! That was the final straw for Angel. Buffy wasnt anyones seconds. He punched Spike across the jaw with a loud crack. Spike, being caught off guard, fell to the floor. Angel stormed out of the Bronze. Hed had enough for one night. As he left, Spike called after him, You already ruined it for you two! She knows you took that bloody day back, mate! And shell never forgive you for it either!! Angel spun around and looked at Spike in shock and disbelief. Buffy knew about the day he had the Oracles erase? How? And why hadnt she said anything to him about it before? He had to see her. He had to talk to her. He left the Bronze and headed for Buffys house. Spike grinned after him. The great poof didnt know she knew. This outta shake things up a bit. Everyone went back to talking and dancing after Angel left. Back to their lives and out of someone elses. Ch. 4 Talk to Me Buffy was lying on her bed sobbing. How had things gone so downhill so quickly? One minute she was with Angel, the love of her life, and then he left. And then she fell in love with Riley, and he left, too. And now here I am engaged to Spike. I was happy with him and now Angel comes back and I can be with him now, but Im with Spike. Now Im questioning our entire relationship! Some relationship, she thought. Im only using him for sex. Next time I see him, its over! But what about Angel? she said out loud, but to herself. What about him? said a familiar voice from her window. Buffy screamed and fell off the bed onto the floor. Angel rushed to help her but tripped and fell on top of her. They were so close. Buffy could feel his heart racing in his chest. It was the first time shed felt his heartbeat since hed come back. They were looking each other dead in the eyes when Angel finally moved away. He offered her his hand and she took it. A rush of warmth shot through her entire body at his touch. He actually had a body temperature. Sorry, he laughed. Guess I still scare the shit out of ya, huh? He looked at her and saw she had a confused look on her face. Buffy? he asked.

You laughed, she said looking up at him finally. I Ive never heard you laugh, she said grimly. He bent down to be at eye level with her since she was now sitting on the edge of the bed. He held her hands in his. She wanted to pull away because she was still mad at him, but she just couldnt. Why didnt you tell me? she whispered. She looked up at him as if seeing him for the first time. Tell you what? he said, trying to avoid the topic. About two years ago. When I came to see you at Thanksgiving. When you became human and we spent the day making lo together, she stumbled on her last words, still not able to believe that hed given it all up. He looked away, still holding her hands. You werent supposed to remember. They said only I would, the last part was whispered. She touched his face and gently ran a finger over his soft lips. She lifted his face to hers and looked in his eyes. I said Id never forget, she whispered. She leaned closer to him. His mind was protesting, but his heart he kissed her gently. Warmth spread through his entire body. Hed longed for her kiss for so long. He needed her so much. In that kiss, he wanted it all. He wanted be with her forever. Buffys arms went around his neck and Angel slid his arms around her waist. He lifted her up and she locked her legs around his waist, their lips never parting. He growled deep in his throat. She broke the kiss and smiled at him with raised eyebrows. They gave me my vampire strengths when I became human, he mumbled as he nuzzled into her neck and became intoxicated by her vanilla perfume. Ohhhh she replied. She had meant it to be a short reply, but Angel had found a spot on her neck that only he knew. No one, it seemed, could ever hit that spot. Only you, she moaned as he laid her down on the bed. But as he placed kisses down her neckline, a thought crossed her mind: Spike. What was she doing? She was engaged! And here she was about to do it with Angel! Oh my God! she gasped. Angel smiled and nibbled on her ear. No. Angel, wait. Stop! she finally said. He looked at her and said, What is it, Buffy? She looked away as if she didnt want to say what she was about to, but she knew she had to. She held up her right hand and showed it to him. One her ring finger, there was a small diamond ring. Im engaged, Angel, she whispered weakly. We cant do what we were about to do. I mean oh my God, what would I tell Spike? God, hed be heart brok She was cut off. As soon as the name Spike was spoken, Angel growled and angrily pushed away from her. He grabbed his black duster and stormed out of the room. Buffy heard the front door slam and him driving away. Buffy sat on her bed. She drew up her legs and wrapped her arms around her knees and rocked in the dark and stunned silence. Tears streamed down her face as she whispered to the dark, Im sorry Ch. 5 Paybacks a Bitch *When I Talk to You - M. Moore and M. Hagar, 2002 Angel slammed the door to the mansion as he entered. They were so close to being back together. Damnit, Spike!! he yelled angrily as he punched the door. Had he still been completely vampire, it would have shattered. He took a deep breath to calm down. He removed his duster and laid it over the couch. He was heading for bed when he noticed the button on the answering machine was flashing. He went over and pushed the button. Cordelias voice filled the air: Hey, Angel! Its me, Cordy. Ive got some business in Sunnydale this weekend. I was hoping I could stop by and catch up on my favorite ex-vampire. Maybe we could go to the Bronze, get a drink, or grab a bite to eat or something. It doesnt matter. Anyway, Ill be arriving around 7 or 8 tomorrow so Ill stop by your place first thing. Umm, if youre not there then Ill just head to the Bronze and hopefully Ill see ya there! Ok, I have to finish packing. Haha! You know how long that can take! So, Ill see you later Bye!

Angel smiled. He liked when Cordy came to visit. Things were cheerier around the mansion. You know what, he thought, I think I know how to get Buffy back. This was going to be an interesting weekend.

As promised, Cordy showed around 7:30. They left for the Bronze. Cordy could tell something was bothering Angel and figured it was Buffy related. He had told her about Buffys engagement to Spike as soon as he had found out about it himself. She was as stunned as he was. But she knew Angel, and when he didnt want to be broody, he came up with something to distract himself. And when he told her his plan, she was right. Ok, Cordy, you know the plan, he was telling her as they walked into the Bronze. Yes! Yes! We act like were all over each other so you can make Buffy jealous, dump Spike, and come running back to you just like she did to you that time when she did that little dance with Xander. And why her dancing with Xander, of all people, would make you jealous is beyond me. But, for the billionth time, Angel, I know what Im supposed to do! She rolled her eyes at him and he just grinned at her. What? she said. Thanks, he said. She gave him a confused look. For what? For being such a great friend, he finished. Yeah, well I really dont know what you would do without me, honestly. He just smiled at her. Angel and Cordy saw Buffy and the rest of the gang enter the Bronze. Ok, Angel, time for me to put my acting skills to work. Its show time! Cordy whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck and moved closer. Playing along, he put his arms around her waist and kissed her gently on the lips when he noticed Buffy looking their way. Ok, weve obviously got her attention with the kissing. I knew that would get to her. Shell be watching us like a hawk the rest of the night, he whispered into her ear. He smiled while he was saying it to make it look like he was simply whispering sweet things into her ear. Buffys heart did a summersault in her chest when she saw Angel kiss Cordelia. How could he, she thought desperately. No! I dont care who hes with. Im with Spike now. Were getting married, at this thought she snuggled closer to Spike on the couch. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her. He noticed Angel watching, and he kissed her again, more passionately and hotter this time. Buffy snuggled into his embrace. She looked over at Angel. He glared at her, his eyes burning into her soul. She smiled weakly at him. He didnt return it and a wave of guilt washed over her.

The night continued. Angel and Cordy had performed a very sexy dance that sent Angel almost over the edge with guilt. He hated to hurt Buffy but now she would know what he felt whenever he saw her with Spike. But what really drove the stake through her heart so to speak, and sent her running from the Bronze crying was when Angel made it look like he whispered I love you into Cordelias ear. Buffy had immediately burst into tears. Spike went after her, only to be stopped by Willow. I better handle this, Spike. Girl stuff, you know? Right yeah, he said as he nodded and went back to wait for Buffy. Buffy? Willow asked as she exited into the alley of the Bronze. Buffy turned around, sobbing, and collapsed into Willows embrace. Oh, God! she sobbed. How could he, Willow? Did you see him? He told her he loved her! She sank to the ground, unable to stand anymore. Ssh.., Willow tried to comfort, itll be ok, Buffy. No, Willow, it wont. He said I was the only girl hed ever love in 245 years. Only me! HE PROMISED!! she screamed and collapsed back into Willows embrace. Not to switch sides on you, Buffy, but didnt you tell him youd always love him, too? But, last time I checked, youre engaged to Spike. Thats not fair to blame him for moving on, Buffy when you have, too. But he told me to move on! He said he wanted me to have a normal life! Buffy shouted. SPIKES NOT A NORMAL LIFE, BUFFY! Willow shouted back. Shed wanted to say that for almost a year. Buffy

looked like shed been smacked in the face. She looked down, and then stood up. I know, she whispered, but Angels with Cordelia now, so I might as well try and be happy with Spike. With that said, she walked back into the Bronze. Willow looked after her disappointed and then followed. Spike came up beside Buffy and put his arm around her waist. Everything alright now, Luv? he asked. Yeah, Im fine, she said putting on a fake smile, lets dance! They walked out onto the dance floor as a slow song began to play. They walked past Angel and Cordy who were talking to Willow and Oz, and Xander and Anya. As they passed, Buffy heard Cordy excitedly telling Willow, Were engaged, Willow! Can you believe it? Me and Angel!! Buffys heart wrenched in her chest and she had to hold onto Spike to keep from falling. Angel and Cordy also moved onto the dance floor, next to them. Angel came over and cut in. Spike glared disapprovingly but didnt want to risk another punch in the jaw. He went and danced with Cordelia. Buffy recognized the song at once. Damn, she thought, whyd we have to be dancing to this song. Angel pulled her a little closer and wrapped an arm around her waist. He noticed Buffys breathing quicken and said, quoting her, Relax, Buffy. Were just friends remember? Not like anythings happened to change that. She looked up at him guiltily. Im sorry, she whispered. Hey, its ok. Im moving on with my life starting new. So I hear, said Buffy. Congratulations, she said awkwardly. They continued dancing as the song played on Remember me feels like forever Since the days when we were friends Dont understand, all these changes Im still the same No need to pretend Whered it go? Do you know? Maybe it just doesnt matter. Cause when I try to talk to you I feel like Im not getting through to you Where did we go wrong? Its hard to be strong. When I talk When I talk to you There were times, in the beginning When you were there When I needed you most Wed sit and talk About the future And laugh about Us getting old Do you know how it feels? I hope that you know that it matters. Cause when I try to talk to you I feel like Im not getting through to you Where did we go wrong? Its hard to be strong When I talk When I talk to you I want you to know everything that I am Dont want to know what life would be without you * As the song ended, Buffy realized her head was resting on Angels shoulder and his arms were wrapped completely around her. She had one hand resting on his chest so she could feel the steady beat of his heart.

She felt so safe with him, like nothing could touch her when she was in his arms. I miss this, she whispered, looking up at him. I know. Me, too, he replied. As they were leaning closer together, Spike came up. What you think youre doin ere, mate? Spike said furiously. Havent you done enough ere? I mean first you left her and then you went and got her pregnant while she couldnt even remember you knockin her up!! And now you come back again expecting Angels head had snapped up when he heard the word pregnant. He starred into her green eyes, searching for some sign of disbelief, but all he saw was fear. Pregnant? Buffy was was pregnant? he said completely bewildered. Bu - but how? he asked. Well, Peaches, after being around for over 245 years I figured youd know how by now, he replied snippedly. Angel glared at him. Thats not what I meant, asshole! he said through gritted teeth. He looked over at Buffy and moved to calm her but she jumped away. Spike smirked at Angel and went to hold Buffy. She shoved him away with enough force that he fell flat on his ass. Xander let out a loud laugh that was instantly silenced by elbows to the ribs, courtesy of Anya and Willow. Angel was still looking at her. Buffy? he whispered. She looked up at him pleadingly then said in a whisper, You werent supposed to find out. After I lost the baby, I didnt want you to ever find out about it. Oh great! I never told the part about the miscarriage to Spike. Shit! He thought I got an abortion. Fuck! This isnt how it was supposed to happen!! Spike looked at her in shock. She told me shed aborted the bastards child, he thought angrily. She looked back and forth between Angel and Spike. Angel went to speak, but Buffy held up her hand. Please, Angel. I I just cant" she said and ran out of the Bronze. Ch. 6 Surfacing See the problem with loving a guy youre not supposed to is that you tell yourself theres an upside, she told herself. Such as, you get to be such great friends with him. Which, frankly, sucks in a lot of ways, because friend is a major demotion from girlfriend. And lets not even go to the higher planes of relationship hood such as what comes after girlfriend? Because that aint gonna happen, and it would make a lot more sense to jump off the train before it leaves the station. Because its going nowhere near the place you want to be. Problem is, the alternative being nothing to him sucks even more. Life with Angel is always so damn confusing, she thought. She was lying on a bed, but it wasnt hers. She was at Angels old apartment. She didnt want to talk to anyone right now. Not Willow and not even Angel. Especially not Angel, she thought. She pulled the covers over her body and hugged the pillow. She could still smell him, just barely, but after 5 years it was still there. She drifted off to sleep, trying to forget about what had happened earlier.

Angel silently opened the door to his old apartment. Hed looked everywhere: the mansion, her house, Spikes, the cemetery, Willows, Xanders, and Giless everywhere. Then he remember how she had once said that shed always felt safe here. He called Willow one more time to see if shed called her but she said no. He ran the apartment idea by her and she said Buffy used to sleep there a lot when he reverted back to Angelus years ago. Ok, if shes not here, Im going home, he thought. As he looked around, he noticed how much hed left behind. When he left, hed only taken things of sentimental value: pictures of Buffy, drawings, weapons, and things hes collected over his 245 years of existence. He glanced into the bedroom and his beating heart gave a sudden tug. There was Buffy, asleep on the bed. She was curled into a ball and her arms were wrapped securely around one of his old pillows. She looked so content, but as he moved closer, he saw dark circles under her eyes from where her mascara had run, her

cheeks were damp from crying and her hair was disarrayed. He also noticed that she wasnt wearing the clothes she had on earlier. They were in a neat pile on the chair next to the bed. She was wearing one of his old shirts. It was too big in the arms so she had the sleeves rolled up. He smiled sweetly, knowing shed missed him just as much as hed missed her. Just then, Buffy whimpered in her sleep. Angel removed his shoes and coat, and carefully crawled onto the bed and lay on top of the sheets. Buffy didnt wake, she only whimpered again, but began to tremble. He wrapped his arms around her tiny frame and held her close. She was still trembling and whimpering so he began whispering in her ear. Its ok, Buffy. Im here now. Ill keep you safe he paused and then without thinking, whispered, I love you. Buffy seemed instantly at ease after hearing those words. Forever he whispered. As if it was part of her dream, Buffy whispered back, Am I still your girl? He gently kissed her cheek and looped her hair around her ear. Always now sleep, baby. And with that, he too drifted off to sleep.

Buffy awoke around noon. She rolled over to be met by a set of deep brown eyes. Angel, she thought. Hey, he whispered. Hey, she whispered back dreamily. Then se remembered last night. Oh God! she said trying to jump out of the bed, only to be restrained by Angel. She struggled, but he pinned her to the bed. Calm. Down, he said gently. She gave one last struggle, then forfeited. OK, she sighed, what do you want? Just to talk. And dont fight it, you know we need to. Can I at least get on some clothes first? she asked huffily. He gave her a wry grin and released her. He got up off the bed and looked at her. She starred back at him and then asked, Well? As if something had hit him, he jumped back to reality. Sorry, he mumbled and turned his back to her so she could change. Suddenly a familiar memory flashed through Buffys mind. She was sure Angel was having it, too. It was raining. She was cold, wet, and scared. Then he told her that he loved her and everything seemed ok. Perfect. And then she gave herself to him. Everything was perfect A tear found its way down Buffys cheek at the memory. Angel wiped one of his own tears away and headed towards the living room. Buffy came in dressed in her skirt from last night, but had covered up her revealing shirt with a leather jacket. Isnt that the one I gave her, he thought. Buffy sat down across from him. Ok, lets talk. Why didnt you come to L.A. and tell me you were pregnant with my baby, Buffy? Hed been pondering it all night and was anxious to hear her answer. Buffy looked down at the floor and said, You said you didnt want anything to do with me, she said weakly. What? I never said that, Buffy! How had she ever gotten that idea? No, but I know you must have thought it, she said bitterly. Why would you ever think that I wouldnt want anything to do with you? he asked. Oh, I dont know how bout because you fucking left me!? she replied angrily. Angel bowed his head in shame. He ran a hand through his spikey hair and sighed. Here we go again he mumbled. Buffy let out a gasp of shock and punched Angel across the jaw. She didnt wait for a reaction, but stormed out of the room and into the bedroom and slammed the door. Angel got up and ran after her. She slammed the door in his face before he could get in. He dropped his head on the door with a thump. He let out a long breath. This was going to be a long day Ch. 7 Changes Im sorry, Buffy. I didnt mean to be insensitive. Please, come out. We need to talk. Please? Angel said through the bedroom door. Hed been waiting for her to come out for over an hour. Meanwhile, hed called

Willow to tell her that hed found her and asked if she could bring by some food. He didnt want to leave her. He heard the lock click and the door opening. Finally, he thought. Buffy came out looking pitiful. They went and sat back down. This time Buffy sat next to him. Ok, Angel started, we obviously have issues that we need to work through. Buffy nodded slightly. Then she quietly asked him, Are you mad at me? For not telling you I was pregnant with the baby? She looked up at him. I was at first, but you know I can never really ever be mad at you, he said. She smiled weakly at the memories, Yeah. So why didnt you tell me? he asked. Lots of reasons. Which one would you like to hear? she laughed. He looked at her seriously, she sighed and continued. I had only had a couple of dreams about what had happened over that one Thanksgiving. So I wasnt exactly sure. But I knew it couldnt be Rileys because we always used protection and I was on the pill just to make sure. So, you were the only one. Then after Riley left, all the dreams came at once about our day together and everything. Angel nodded and sat silently. Somewhere along the line I ended up with Spike. Anyway, to make a long story short, he discovered I was pregnant by the whole second heartbeat thing he said he could hear. He thought I was cheating on him. Then I told him about the dreams, and he eventually believed it. He told me to get an abortion and I told him that I needed some time to think. She stopped when he placed his hand over hers. She looked at his hand and then up at him, then continued. And a week before I was going to go to L.A. to tell you I I lost the baby, she whispered. He squeezed her hand. She started crying. Im so sorry, Angel. We had the one thing that we never thought wed ever have, and I lost it! Oh God, Im so sorry. Oh, Buffy he said folding her into his arms. Im sorry, she cried again. No, dont be sorry. It wasnt your fault, Buffy. Sshhh he said stroking her hair. Its ok, I dont blame you, baby. I would never blame you. She sniffled and looked up at him. Promise? she asked. He wiped away a tear on her cheek with his thumb and gave her a gentle kiss. Promise, he whispered. She kissed him back. The kiss grew and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He lifted her up and over onto his lap. She straddled his waist and rubbed up against him as he continued kissing her. He took off the heavy jacket to reveal her skimpy shirt that revealed most of her upper body. He kissed her neck and hit that spot again. Angel she moaned. She arched her back and he kissed her collarbone and shoulders. He kissed his way down her neckline and down the edge of her shirt. She ran her hands through his hair and continued rubbing against him trying to get as close to him as possible. He lay back on the couch and Buffy sat straddling his lap. She grinned seductively at him. She bent down and kissed him passionately, her golden blonde hair flowing down around her face. She started to unbutton his shirt, but he grabbed her hands carefully. He entwined his fingers in hers. I dont want that right now, Buffy, he said. Not that I dont want you! he added quickly when he saw her hurt face. I always want you. But right now, I just want I just want to be with you. If were back together, which from the looks of what we were about to do, we are, well then I want to just take things slow. Like we did when we were first together, ok? Buffy smiled at him and kissed him sweetly before lying down next to him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and drew lazy circles on her bare stomach with his fingers. Buffy snuggled closer to him and kissed him on the cheek. I know we didnt do this until a little while longer in our relationship before, but I just want to say it, ok? He looked over at her curiously and said, Ok what is it? I love you, she whispered. He smiled at her and pulled her closer. He kissed her forehead. I love you, too, he whispered back as they fell asleep. Ch. 8 New Beginnings * Weeks later* Things were finally starting to look up. Buffy and Angel were finally together. They were taking things slow, like they agreed. And they were happy with slow. They were doing normal, young couple things. They danced and cuddled at the Bronze, went out to dinner, and went to movies. But most of their time was spent together just by themselves at the mansion in front of the fire. And Buffy was always over there anyway. She officially had her own drawer now. She usually just

slept over anyway, so they thought it was best. They hadnt actually slept together in the full sense, but they did sleep in the same bed. They found out that neither one could sleep unless the other was right next to them. Buffy had of course, called things off with Spike. Shed even finally admitted to him that shed never thought of him as an actual relationship. They had gotten into an argument and Buffy had just about had it and was going to stake his ass, but he took off and hadnt been seen since. Good thing, too, Buffy thought as she snuggled closer to Angel. He had arranged an extremely romantic evening at the mansion. Hed bought Buffy two dozen red, long stemmed roses. He had lit candles all over and had soft music playing. He had also prepared dinner for them. Buffy had recently discovered that Angel was a great cook. When she asked how hed learned he replied, I spent most of my life in Europe, so I guess I picked up a few things here and there. She just smiled sweetly and took a sip of his wine. Now they were laying in front of a warm fire in the fireplace with a blanket over them. Angel was reading Buffy poetry and Buffy was listening with her eyes closed and a dreamy smile on her face. Angel finished another poem and sat the book down. Buffy put on her puppy dog face and looked up at Angel. One more? she asked. He kissed her bottom lip that she had stuck out and she giggled. Ok, one more, he said. He cleared his throat and recited: Through the hourglass I saw you, In time you slipped away, When the mirror crashed I called you And turned to hear you say If only for today, I am unafraid Watching every motion, In this foolish lovers game, Haunted by the notion, Somewhere theres love in flames. Turning and returning, To some secret place inside, Watching in slow motion As you turn my way and say Take my breath away. Buffy looked up at him as he finished. She loved him so much and she wanted to show him. She held his face gently and looked into his eyes. I love you, Angel, she whispered. I know. I love you, too, he replied. But I want to show you, she whispered as they leaned closer. She kissed him slowly at first. The kiss became very heated and passionate and Angel wrapped his arms around her. He picked her up, threshold style and carried her into the bedroom; their lips never parting. As he placed her on the bed, a thought snapped in his mind. He broke the kiss and looked at Buffy. What is it? she panted. Well, its just that we said we were going to take things slow. Well, we can go slow if you want. You can slowly remove my clothing and I can slowly remove yours. And then I can slowly run my hands down your chest and then He kissed her passionately as he quickly started removing the black lace top she was wearing to reveal her red lace bra. He ran his big hands over her stomach and down the sides of her figure. Her breathing quickened at his touch. She pulled the black V-neck muscle shirt he was wearing over his head and ran her hands down his sculpted chest then back up again and wrapped her arms around his neck. He removed her matching black lace skirt to reveal red matching lace panties. Angel, she panted. He bent his head down and kissed her sweetly. Yes, love? he asked coyly. She was panting and her heart was racing in her chest. I want you to I want you to make love to me, Angel. Now please. He kissed her passionately on the lips and then whispered in her ear, Ill see what I can do. As his chest pressed against her now bare one, she noticed how warm he was compared to their first time.

UH!... Lot different from our first time, she mumbled into his neck. Mmm whys that? he asked as he nibbled on her ear. She giggled, Because you have a body temperature this time. Youre all warm she moaned, inside and out, she said wryly. Among other things, he panted as he lost himself in her.

Buffy was laying on Angels chest, listening to his heart beat. She had a perfect smile on her face and was tracing circles on his chest with her finger. She kissed his chest sweetly and he kissed her gently on the forehead. She rearranged herself until she was curled up in a ball next to him. He moved closer and put his arms around her small body. He kissed her arm, shoulder, and neck and then whispered in her ear, I love you. She smiled and turned her head to kiss him sweetly, I love you, too, she whispered back. And with that they drifted off to sleep, entangled in each other's arms. Ch. 9 Bloody Hell Spike took another long swig of Jack Daniels then threw it across the room. It shattered and he smirked in approval. He was drunk. Hed been drunk for about 2 weeks strait now. Ever since that damn bitch dumped me for that, that, fuckin poof! he shouted as he got up off the couch he was laying on. This is great! Fucking great! he yelled as he punched the brick wall. Part of it crumbled. He morphed into his vampire face from the anger. He stormed over to the coffee table and shattered it. He picked up one of the sharp, wooden pieces off the floor. He raised it to his chest, ready to dust himself. He squeezed his eyes shut as he was about to plunge the stake through his heart, but he broke down. He dropped the stake and it clattered to the floor. He slid to the floor, sobbing. His face morphed back. Bloody hell, he sobbed. He clutched his non-beating heart, Wont this aching ever go away? Will it ever quit hurting? He snapped back and morphed again. He growled, I think revenge might just cure my heart. The Slayer and Peaches are going to pay! Theyll beg for mercy!! he began to laugh insanely, and then passed out from the alcohol Ch. 10 Surprise! *Couple weeks later* Buffy felt his arms around her as she woke. She smiled at how well her life was going. Angel was also awake and nuzzled into her neck. Buffy giggled as he tickled her neck with his mouth. He stopped and whispered, Good morning. She rolled over, clutching the sheet to her bare chest. Im still modest, she thought. He wrapped his arms around her. Mmm were you watching me sleep, again? she asked. I didnt want to wake you since you havent been feeling well lately, he replied. Aw, youre sweet, she said as she kissed him sweetly. Well, I try, he said sarcastically. She giggled and he deepened the kiss. But as he pulled her over on top of him, a wave of nausea hit Buffy. She groaned and then quickly got up and ran to the bathroom. Shes been sick for a couple weeks. Shes going to the doctor today whether she likes it or not, he thought.

Buffy and Willow were sitting in the doctors office waiting for him to come back in with her test results. Buffy was fidgeting with her fingers in her lap. What if Im really sick? What if I have cancer? Or or heart disease? Buffy asked frantically. Buffy, calm down. You probably just have a bug or something. A bug?! Theres a bug in me! Buffy! Calm

down! Quit being paranoid. I know you hate doctors and hospitals and everything, but for once its not the end of the world so please, she said sitting Buffy down, sit and calm down, ok? Im sure its nothing to worry about. Just then, the doctor came back in. Ms. Summers I have good news. Congratulations! Youre pregnant! Buffy and Willow just starred at each other in amazement for a while and then started jumping up and down screaming excitedly. Willow gave her a giant hug then pulled away and said, I cant believe it Buffy. You and Angel are having a baby!! Buffy smiled warmly, Yeah, we are, she whispered dreamily.

Buffy ran into the mansion and threw her coat and purse on the couch. Angel?! she called excitedly. Angel?! she called again. He came out of the kitchen. Hey, what did the doctor say? he asked as she gave him a quick kiss hello. She smiled at him brightly and was bursting with excitement. Buffy, he said laughing, what is it, baby? She nodded at the word baby. He gave her a confused look. Buffy, just tell me. What are you so excited about, honey? Were having a baby! she exclaimed. It took a minute to register in his head. When it did, a giant smile was on his face and he grabbed her around the waist, picked her up and spun her around. She giggled. Were having a baby! he shouted. She laughed and he slid her down his body until her feet were back on the ground. He kissed her deeply, pulled her close, and wrapped his arms around her completely. Were having a baby, he whispered as he broke the kiss. Buffy pressed her forehead to his and stared into his dark eyes. She smiled and let out a little giggle, Yeah, me and you, Angel. Were having a baby. He pulled away and looked at her stomach. He put his hand where the tiny baby was now growing inside her. He looked back up at her. I love you, he whispered. She kissed him sweetly and then ran her finger over his soft lips. I love you, too, she whispered. Have you told anyone else, yet? he asked. Well, Willow knows since she was there, but I kinda figured youd want to know first. You being the future daddy and all, she said laughing. Daddy he whispered. I never thought Id ever be called that, he said in amazement. Sooo she said moving closer to him. I was thinking we should celebrate. She ran her finger down his chest and looked up at him seductively. She nipped at his mouth with hers. He put his hands on her hips and she suddenly jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist. She leaned down and kissed his neck and nibbled on his ear. He growled and she looked at him. She giggled, I love it when you do that, she said crinkling up her nose. Mmm I know you do, he said. She jumped down and he let out a groan. She grabbed his hand and twirled herself like they were dancing to music only they could hear. Then she wiggled her hips as she walked up the stairs. She stopped at the top and looked down at him with raised eyebrows. She wiggled her finger, inviting him up to her. You better get it now, Mr. OConnor, because in a couple months we wont be able to. He winced dramatically at the mention of it. He quickly went up the stairs two at a time and scooped her up in his arms when he reached her. She giggled as he kissed her neck. Mmm He picked her up threshold style and carried her into their bedroom. Ch. 11 Preparation 6 months later Come on, Angel! We only have 3 months left! We need to choose a name! You said wed do it today! Buffy called up the stairs. Angel came down the stairs, wiping paint off his hands with a rag. He grinned at her. He loved it when she pretended to be mad at him. She could never really be mad at him, just like he could never really be mad at her. He found her in the kitchen making what looked like pickles and ice cream. He frowned at it and shook his head. At least he didnt have to go out at 3 a.m. to get that. Thank God, he thought. He snuck up behind her

and put his arms around her from behind, wrapping his hands around her now bulging stomach. She smiled, knowing it was him. Well, who else could it be, she thought and mentally smacked herself upside the head. Mmm hi, she mumbled as she placed a spoonful of her creation in her mouth. He kissed her neck and said, Are you eating what I think youre eating? Mmm pickles and ice cream. Its really good. Want a bite? she said holding up a spoonful to him. No, thanks, Im still full from lunch, he fibbed. She giggled. I was kidding. I knew you wouldnt eat it. Normally I wouldnt either. I dont even like pickles! But apparently our little boy in here does, she said placing her hand over his on her stomach. The baby kicked for the first time just then. Oomph! Hey, that hurt! Then she realized what had just happened. Oh my God, Angel! Did you feel that? He kicked! He chuckled. I know, I felt it, too. Pretty amazing, huh? Yeah, amazing how much it hurt. You try getting kicked in the stomach from the inside out. He laughed and kissed her neck again. Mmm 3 more months, baby. Yes, exactly! 3 more months and we still dont have a name, yet! Which is why I called you down here in the first place, she said eating another spoonful of her pickles and ice cream. He sighed in defeat. Ok, lets go look at the list again. She squealed in delight and turned and put her arms around him. I would jump into your arms and wrapped my legs around your waist right now, but being that Im the size and weight of a whale right now She looked up at him for sympathy. He knew shed been feeling down about herself lately. The doctor said it was normal behavior. Just make her feel special, hed told him. But I always do that anyway, he thought. You look beautiful to me. You always do. No matter what, he said and kissed her passionately. She moaned deeply. Only 3 more months, she whispered. They hadnt been able to make love once Buffy reached her 5th month, doctors orders. Buffy and Angel had missed each other dearly. Angel never admitted it to her, but she could tell. She could tell by the way he touched her, the way he put his arms around her, or the way he kissed her, and when they went to bed he slept as close to her as possible. She knew and she felt the same way. She missed his lips on her skin and his hands all over her and she missed the feeling of him inside her. Buffy felt a sharp tug at her heart and snuggled into Angels embrace. I miss you, she whispered. He kissed her head as if hed read her mind. I know, baby. But we can be together again in a few months. Well be together again, I promise, he whispered. She looked up and smiled at him. What would I do without you? she asked. He just grinned and kissed her sweetly and played with her hair. How about Shane? she asked out of nowhere. But Angel knew what she was talking about. He looked up and thought about it. Mmm you know what? I like the name Shane, he replied. Buffy kissed him and giggled excitedly. Yay! We picked a first name! He laughed at her enthusiasm. How about Michael for a middle name? he asked. Shane Michael OConnor I like it! It even sounds Irish! What does being Irish have to do with it? he asked. Well, youre Irish, so I figured our sons name should be Irish, right? He smiled at her thoughtfulness and kissed her sweetly. So hows the nursery coming along? she asked. Pretty well I think. Why dont you put the pickles and ice cream away and you can come upstairs and see she kissed him mid sentence, for yourself, he finished. She put her bowl in the sink and he took her hand and led her up the stairs to the new nursery he was working on. Outside the door, he put his hands over her eyes. Hey! she said. He laughed and kissed her cheek. No peeking, he whispered. Excuse me, but I do NOT peek! she stated. Ha! Apparently you dont remember Christmas! he said. T- That was different! she said, You were giving me this, she said holding up her hand to show him the sparkling diamond engagement ring she was wearing. Hed asked her on Christmas Day. They had decided to get married after the baby was born. He chuckled and took her hand and kissed it. Ok, you win, he said. She smiled. Yay me! she giggled. He uncovered her eyes and her mouth dropped open. He had painted the room a sky blue as a base coat.

But he had gone a step further by sponging on different shades and tints of blue to give it more effect. Wow! Angel, this is awesome, she whispered. He came behind her and put his arms around her stomach again. Mmm you like it? he asked. I love it, she said. How about you, Shane Michael? What do you think of your room so far? Angel said rubbing Buffys stomach and kissing her neck. The baby kicked and Buffy let out a gasp of pain then laughed. I think he likes it, she whispered as she leaned her head back so Angel could kiss more of her neck. She sighed at how lucky she was. She had what she had always wanted. She had Angel, she was having his child, and in a few months, they were going to be married. She ran her hand through his hair as he continued to kiss her neck. He stopped and she let out a cry of displeasure. He took her hand and slowly spun her around. He took both her hands and entwined his fingers with hers. He put his forehead against hers and smiled. How about I go make us some dinner? he suggested. Mmm I think that is a very good idea, she stated. What would you like? And dont say pickles and ice cream, he said chuckling. She giggled and said, Well, Id really like an order of my Irish fianc, she said seductively. But, seeing as how we still have a few more months to wait, Ill take your famous spaghetti instead! she said. Mmm good choice, he said and kissed her sweetly. Then he took her hand and led her downstairs. Ch. 12 The Arrival *3 months later* Buffy was lying on Angels chest fast asleep. Angel ran his fingers through her golden hair and kissed her lightly on the head. He couldnt believe how lucky they were. They were getting married in a few months and their son would be here any day now. Buffy snuggled closer to Angel. He wrapped his arms tighter around her. She sighed happily in her sleep. He looked down at her beautiful face and saw that she had a little smile on it. She must be dreaming, he thought. Suddenly a sharp pain hit Buffy. She screamed and jolted awake. Buffy? Angel asked. Oh God! Ah! Buffy screamed. Buffy, is it time? Is the baby coming? Angel asked in a panic. Buffy clutched his arm. He winced in pain from her slayer strength. She looked up at him in pain and nodded quickly. He jumped out of the bed to get her things. **** Buffy was lying in a hospital bed with her legs propped up. She was panting from the pain. Another wave of pain hit her and she squeezed Angels hand again. He kissed her sweaty forehead gently and whispered, Youre doing great, Buffy. I love you. She screamed in pain again as she gave another push, Aaaaah!!! She looked up at Angel, panting, and whispered back, I love you, too. Ok, Ms. Summers. One more big push and your baby will be here, the doctor said. Angel pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed it gently. Come on, baby. One more push, he encouraged. Buffy sat up and gave another big push. She screamed and grabbed Angels hand even tighter. She had grabbed it so hard he had to grind his teeth together to keep from crying out. A loud cry filled the room. Buffy collapsed back onto the bed and gave a long sigh of relief. Congratulations, Angel and Buffy! You have a son! The doctor exclaimed. Angel cut the umbilical cord and looked down at his son as the nurses cleaned him up. He was amazing. He was crying but when Angel came over, he had stopped and looked up at his father. Hi, Angel whispered hoarsely. He turned as he heard Buffy say his name. She had tears in her eyes and a huge smile was plastered on her face. Her face was shining with sweat and her hair was disarrayed, but she looked beautiful to him. He went over and knelt down next to her and took her hand. Hes beautiful, Buffy. Wait until you see him, baby, he said as he kissed her hand and held it to his cheek. He ran his fingers down her cheek with his other hand. She closed her eyes at his graceful touch and moved into it. She opened her eyes and said, We

have a son, Angel. Yeah, he whispered nodding slowly, We have a son. He kissed her hand again. I love you, Buffy. And I cant wait to marry you, he promised. She took his hand from her cheek and kissed his Claddagh ring. The nurse brought the baby over and placed it in Buffys awaiting arms. Buffy looked down at him and smiled. Angel sat down beside her on the bed and wrapped an arm around her and his son. Hes so tiny, she said looking down at her son. He looks just like his father, she said smiling up at Angel. And he did. The baby had soft, dark brown hair that already spiked up a little in the front. He had Angels jaw line and Buffy was sure that when his eyes turned theyd be the same chocolate brown color as his fathers. Hes going to drive the girls crazy when he gets older. You know that dont you? She said giggling. Why do you say that? He asked giving her a confused look. Well, hes going to look just like you and you drove me and every other girl who had eyes crazy! She exclaimed. He laughed and kissed her gently on the forehead. Then he leaned down and kissed his son on the head, too. Shane shifted around in the blanket, stretched, and yawned and then went back to sleep. Buffy yawned as well. Angel noticed this and said, Hey, why dont you get some rest. Ill go call everyone and by the time they get here youll be all rested up and ready to socialize. Ok? Buffy nuzzled into his chest and sighed. Ok, she mumbled into his chest. And Ill take this little guy down to the nursery so he can finish his nap, he said gently taking Shane from his mothers arms. Angel held him carefully and turned to leave. Angel, Buffy called quietly so she wouldnt wake Shane. Angel turned around and looked at her with a smile on his face. Yes, Buffy? he asked. Thank you, she whispered. Angel gave her a confused look. For what? he asked, unsure of why she was thanking him when he should be thanking her for just giving him a son. For coming back to me, she said finally. Oh, Buffy he whispered. He quickly laid Shane down in the crib in the room and rushed over to her on the bed. He took her in his arms and rocked her, gently kissing her on the head. Hey, he said slowly as she cried softly in his arms. He lifted her face to his and looked her in the eyes. I love you, he said. Were soul mates, remember? No matter what, we have to be together. She looked down and then laughed. Yeah, she said simply, I know. I love you, too. He kissed her sweetly on the lips and then kissed her cheek and forehead. He ran a finger down her nose and then kissed the tip of her nose. He rubbed his hand along the side of her face and she sighed. How long until we can have s -- well you know, she asked. He bowed his head as if he had read her mind. The doctor said we have to wait 6 weeks, he told her. She moved closer to him on the bed and he wrapped both his arms around her. 6 weeks, huh? she repeated. Yep. Why are you in a hurry to have another baby already or something? He asked sarcastically. After the pain I just went through to get that little guy over there you actually think I want to have another one already!? She exclaimed. He laughed. Im kidding, sweetie, he said. Yeah, well from all that pain I just went through, youll be lucky if I ever let you touch me again, she said pointedly. He opened his eyes immediately and turned his head quickly to look at her. What?! he asked worried. Buffy giggled at his reaction. She placed her hand lower on his body and he groaned when she grabbed him. Relax, honey. Im not that cruel. And Im not saying I dont want to have another baby in a couple of years maybe, just not, yet, she said. Ok, he said I agree with you for once. She smacked him playfully on the arm. Hey! She pouted and he pulled her into his arms and tickled her. She giggled and he pulled her onto his lap. He kissed her gently at first but Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. She ran her tongue along his bottom lip. He opened his mouth at once and she slid her tongue in only to be met by his. He moaned as they broke apart for air. He pressed his forehead to hers. She smiled at him. He kissed her sweetly again and then said, Mmm I dont think were going to be able to wait 6 weeks. Do you? Not a chance, she giggled as he pulled her into another passionate kiss. Ch. 13 Home At Last Angel ran around and opened the door of the car for Buffy so she and his son could get out. It was a bright sunny afternoon. Angel felt the sun on his shoulders as he held out his hand to Buffy. She giggled and smiled brightly at him. Thank you, kind sir, she said laughing as she took his offered hand. My pleasure, mi lady, he replied. He led them up the steps to their home.

As they arrived at the door, Angel came up behind them and put his arms around them. Buffy gave a pleasant sigh. Are you ready? he asked in her ear. Yeah, let the social hour begin! she said as she open the door to their home. As they entered, shouts and screams of joy and excitement greeted them. Everyone was there in their living room: Willow and Oz, Xander and Anya, Cordelia, Gunn, Fred, Wesley, and Giles. The girls ran up to see Shane, who was sleeping in Buffys arms. Oh my God! Hes so adorable! screamed Willow. Whoa! Hes like a mini-Angel. He looks just like him! exclaimed Cordelia. Hes small. Why is he so small? Anya asked, looking curiously at the baby. Xander gave her a look. She rolled her eyes and said, Well hes really cute. The guys came up next to Angel, who was staring over at his fianc and son, smiling. Congratulations, man! Gunn said, shaking Angels hand and giving him a pat on the back. Thanks, he replied. Wesley and Giles also shook his hand and offered their congratulations. Xander slowly approached Angel. They locked eyes and after a long pause Xander extended his hand. As long as you make her happy, thats all that matters. Congrats, Dead Boy! Xander said, shaking Angels hand. Thank you, Xander. That means a lot coming from you, replied Angel. Oz simply nodded and shook his hand. He didnt say anything in his usual Oz fashion. Fred brought out the camera and had everyone gather around the baby. Angel placed one arm around Buffy and his other around his son. Willow and Xander were on either side of them. Followed by Oz next to Willow and Anya next to Xander. Giles, Wesley, Cordelia, and Gunn gathered behind everyone else. Ok, 1 2 3! Fred said as she pushed the button. Everyone was smiling. It was the first picture of them all together: Buffy and Angel, Willow and Oz, Xander and Anya, Giles, Wesley, Cordelia, and Gunn. They were one big, happy family.

Later that night, after everyone had left, Buffy and Angel lay in bed with Shane asleep on Angels chest. Buffy was lying almost completely on top of Angel, trying to get as close as she could. Angel ran his hand over his sons soft brown hair and then kissed him gently. Buffy sighed contently. Isnt he just perfect? Buffy asked. Yeah, he whispered, he is. Buffy raised up and kissed Angel gently, trying not to wake Shane. Not that Im complaining, but what was that for? he asked curiously. She just smiled at him and whispered, I love you. She snuggled down next to him and got more comfortable. She gave another pleasant sigh and then mumbled into his bare chest, Good night, Angel. He kissed her head and replied, I love you, too. Good night, Buffy. Ch. 14 Nightmare * A few weeks later* Buffy rolled over and snuggled closer to Angel and stretched her arm over his chest where Shane had been before he had put him to bed. She absent mindedly kissed his bare chest. He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her. She heard Shane cry in his room and moaned. Its your turn, Angel mumbled into her hair. She groaned and slowly moved to get out of the bed. She put on a pair of Angels sweatpants, since she was only wearing one of his t-shirts and her underwear. Buffy sleepily trudged down the hallway of the mansion to her sons room, following his cries. She paused outside his door to rub her sleepy eyes and yawned. She put on her mom voice and entered the room smiling. Hey, sweetheart! Whats a matter, Shane? Cant sleep? Well, mommy and daddy cant either if you keep waking us up. She picked him up and gently cradled him in her arms, rocking him slowly. Buffy played with his tiny fingers and he cooed softly. She kissed him on the head. He smiled up at her. I

love you, Shane. Very much. And so does your daddy. Yes he does! She said as he reached for her blonde hair. She pulled it out of his reach. She rocked him some more and hummed a lullaby softly. She looked down just as Shane yawned and placed his tiny thumb into his mouth. He closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep. Buffy smiled down at him as she placed him back in his crib. Goodnight, my little baby, she whispered. She kissed two of her fingers and then gently placed them on his forehead. She yawned again and mumbled, Now for mommy to get some sleep, too. As she turned around, a shadowy figured wrapped his hand over her mouth and Buffy felt a cold, sharp blade on her throat. She instantly recognized the voice that spoke to her: Spike. She whimpered as he placed the blade further to her jugular when she tried to struggle. Scream or struggle and your great poof will find his son butchered when he comes in to see him in the morning! He hissed in her ear. Tears streamed down Buffys cheeks at the thought. Spike pushed her out the door. Buffy could easily take him, but wouldnt dare risk her sons life. Shed wait until the time was right. As they passed Angel and Buffys bedroom, Buffy looked in to catch a glance at Angel just in case it was the last time she saw him. He wasnt there. Her brow furrowed in confusion. Wheres Angel? Oh God! What if Spike hurt him?! Her questions were soon answered as Angel leapt from the shadows and attacked Spike. Buffy elbowed Spike in the ribs to escape his grasp and the knife. Angel punched him dead in the face and knocked him to the floor. Spike stood, with knife ready, and slashed him across the chest. Buffy screamed as Angel pounced on Spike and they both toppled down the concrete staircase. Shane started crying loudly from all the noise. Buffy ran down the hallway into Shanes room. She checked to make sure he was alright and then closed and locked his door so Spike couldnt get to him. She sprinted back down the stairs to help Angel. When she arrived downstairs, Angel and Spike were battling it out. Angel kicked Spike in the stomach. She was MINE!! Spike shouted and dove at Angel, they both fell on the coffee table, shattering it. Spike quickly got up, bleeding heavily from a massive cut above his eye and one on his jaw. Angel stood and Buffy gasped when she saw him. He was bleeding profusely from the deep knife wound on his chest and bruises covered his beautiful face. His nose was bleeding and from the looks of it, broken. She wasnt yours to own, Angel panted out. Buffy belongs to me! Shes my mate. I marked her a long time ago. And you should know by now, Spike you never mess with another vampires mate!! Spike bent down and retrieved his knife that he had lost in the fight earlier, from the floor. As he did, Angel growled and plowed into him knocking them both through the front window. Buffy screamed again and for the first time remembering that Spike was a vampire. How did he get in here in the first place? She shook her head to remove the thought and ran to get a stake. She found a make shift one out of a piece of the broken coffee table. She went outside, ready to stake Spikes sorry ass, when she noticed that Angel was on the ground and he wasnt moving. Spike was just standing up. He turned with a bloody knife in his hand. Angel Buffy whispered. He moaned on the ground and tried to get up. She let out a breath of relief. Hes still alive! She was so busy worried about Angel, she didnt see Spike and the thick tree branch coming towards her head. She gasped in pain and collapsed to the ground. Angel? she whispered again and then everything around her went black as she lost consciousness. Ch. 15 Trapped Buffy groggily opened her eyes and blinked to adjust to the light. Her head felt like it was split in two and was throbbing at the same time. She reached for her head and heard chains rattle. She looked at her wrists; they were bound with chains over her head and attached to the wall. She looked around to take in her surroundings.

From the looks of it, she was in an abandoned warehouse. Wooden crates and boxes were piled to the sides. Thick, heavy chains were scattered on the floor. There were shards of glass and broken bottles on the ground. As Buffy took in her surroundings, she felt something crawl across her leg. She looked down to see a big, disgusting, gray rat on her thigh. AH! SICK! She sharply moved her leg and knocked the rat off. Now, now, luv. Is that anyway to treat things that are smaller than you? Spike said as he strolled into view from the shadows. Spike. What do you want with me? she asked pointedly. Well, you know the way my bloody mind works. You really sure you want me to answer that question? he asked grinning. She scoffed. Youre a pervert, Spike! He hit her across the jaw and she winced in pain. He then kicked her in the stomach and Buffy lost all the air in her lungs. She was coughing and gasping when Spike delivered four more blows to her face. Tears streamed down her face and mixed with blood from her now open cut on her cheek. She was defenseless with these chains on her and Spike knew it. I thought youd be better than this, Slayer. Really, I mean what would your son think knowing that his super-powered mum cant even defend herself. Buffys head shot up and her eyes locked with his. Shane. Oh God, I hope hes ok. And Angel! OhGodohGodohGod Buffy thought. I swear on my mothers grave, Spike, if you hurt one hair on his head youll lose yours!! Spike glared at her words. And we all know what happens to vampires when they lose their heads now dont we, Spikey. Buffy asked innocently. I can hear them now We need a dust pan on aisle 5!! Buffy laughed at her banter. She sighed and rolled her eyes. Youre pathetic, Spike. You cant even beat me up properly. Well, let me get you a mirror so you can see whats left of your beautiful face, Slayer, he said laughing. Thats not what I meant, you prick! You had to chain me up to beat me! You know maybe you should give Faith a call. I seem to remember her having the same problem once, she grinned at him with a glint in her eyes. And besides, from your past girlfriends, you dont like em sane anyway. Lets see Dru, yeah she obviously wasnt the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree! And your little one night stand with Anya? Yeah, theres a real winner! I actually think that a box of rocks would be smarter than Anya! Yep! Faith would be a perfect match for you, Dead Boy, she snapped at him. He punched her again and opened up a new cut above her eye. She coughed again and lifted her head. Oh you just wait til Angel shows up. He is so gonna kick your sorry ass! And Ill be on the side lines watching. And then when the moment comes Ill shove a nice, long, pointy stake right through your dead heart, she said mockingly. He growled and kicked her in the back. She screamed from the pain. Ive had just about enough of your mouth! Time to shut you up, Spike snarled. He reached and undid his pants. Buffys eyes widened. Oh God! Please dont tell me hes going to do what I think hes gonna do. Please God, no Buffy prayed in her head. W-What are you d-doing, Spike? she asked shakily as he proceeded to undo his pants. He grinned wickedly at her. Just gonna have some fun with my sires supposed mate, he said laughing. Buffy pulled her legs up and cut her bare foot on the broken glass. She huddled as close to the wall as possible. No she said shaking. Please, Spike. Please, no, she pleaded. He pushed her to the floor and tightened her chains. She struggled and tried to kick him off of her. He grabbed a shard of glass off the floor and held it to her throat. She whimpered and tears ran down her cheeks as she continued to plead with him. Please, Spike. Please! He slapped her and she cried out. He tore the sweatpants she was wearing off and her underwear. He bent down and kissed her sloppily. She jerked away and spit. Please she sobbed. Please, dont. He pushed her shirt up and fondled her breasts. He licked the blood and salty tears off the side of her face. She whimpered again and tried to pull away. As he forced himself into her, Buffy screamed bloody murder, screeching again and again. NOOOO! HELP! NO! PLEASE, NO!!!!!!!! AAAAAH! NOO! Ch. 16 Rescue Buffy lay on the cold, hard floor of the abandoned warehouse. Her entire body was battered, bruised, and

bloodied. In the last 3 days shed been kidnapped here, Spike had fed off of her four times and raped her 13. Lucky thirteen she thought sarcastically. She was mentally exhausted and wasnt really there at all. She moved to pull her legs up to her body but screamed from the pain. She had several cuts on her feet and legs, not to mention how bruised her legs were from Spikes constant kicking them. Shed be lucky if she could even stand let alone walk when this was all over. And what the hell happened to my Slayer strengths here? I should have been able to kick his ass off of me and be healed by now!! Buffy thought. Then she remembered what Giles had told her after Shane was born. Hed said that after Slayers gave birth, which had only happened once in the past, their powers were weakened for a while after the birth. Great! She thought snippedly. Then she began sobbing at the thought of her baby boy without her. She pictured him in her head his soft, dark brown, slightly spikey hair. His dark brown eyes. His little fingers that she loved to play with. She began to cry harder. My little baby boy she whispered. Spike strolled into view, playing with the knife in his hands. ww, why the tears, pet? Arent begging for another roll in the hay now are we? Spike said casually. Buffy shuddered at the thought of his hands all over her body and him inside her. She inhaled a deep breath to stop her crying. She had her head down and didnt see Spikes leg coming strait for her head. Before it could make contact with her head, it was stopped by an arm. What in the bloody hell? Spike asked confused as he looked up in confusion. He was met by a growling Angel whose fangs were bared. He punched him across the jaw and Spike fell to the floor. How DARE you touch her! Im going to kick your ass so bad youre going to beg for your undead life!!! Angel roared. As Angel was pulverizing Spike, Gunn and Wesley moved to unchain Buffy. As they tried to pick her up, she screamed in pain and dropped back to the floor as she passed out from the pain. Angel spun and did a round kick on Spike. As Spike recovered, Angel pulled out Mr. Pointy, Buffys favorite stake. Before Spike could blink Angel shoved it through his heart. Spike growled in pain and sighed, Oh, bloody hell! before he turned to dust. Angel quickly turned and ran to Buffy. She was still unconscious as he scooped her up in his arms. He held her tightly, but gently enough not to cause her any pain to her injuries. They ran out of the warehouse and into Angels car. Angel climbed into the back seat, cradling Buffy in his arms and rocking her carefully as he cried quietly into her hair. Wesley jumped into the drivers seat with Gunn next to him on the passenger side. They pulled out quickly and sped back to the mansion where the others were waiting. Ch. 17 Safe? Angel placed a gentle kiss on Buffys small hand. Hed been holding it securely for two days now. He refused to eat or sleep and only got up to go to the bathroom or to take care of Shane. Hed moved Shanes crib into the room with him so he could take care of him as well. Wesley would come in every so often to take her vitals. The rest of the gang made roundtrip stops throughout the day to check on her as well. As Angel was rocking and silently praying to the Powers That Be, Buffy jerked and cried out from yet another nightmare. Shed been having them often. Shed jerk violently, kick, throw wild punches, and scream almost as if she were being burned alive. The worst for Angel was when she cried, which was all the time. Sometimes she wouldnt sob just silent tears that would trickle slowly down her pale cheeks. Angel gently wrapped his arms around her to comfort her. He had been extremely careful not to cause any pain to her injuries in the last two days. Hed never hurt her never. Buffy whimpered. Then suddenly she screamed out his name and her eyes snapped open and locked with his. She took in a loud and sudden gasp. Angel starred at her with terrified eyes. Angel? she whispered. He barely heard it. Are you really here? Or am I imagining you again, like I try to when Spike ra Buffy cut herself off unable to say what Spike had done to her. Instantly Angel

understood the nightmares shed had. Spike had raped her. And she was reliving it. That God damned son of a bitch raped her!! Angel thought with rage. He held Buffy tighter. Wesley had entered the room when he heard Buffy screaming. He made a noise and Angel spun around abruptly. Wesley held up his hands innocently. Its just me, Angel. Wesley. Im a friend, remember? He gave a slight grin and Angel relaxed a little. Sorry, Wes. My reflexes are on edge, Angel stammered. Its quite understandable. My God shes awake!! Wesley exclaimed as he noticed Buffy. Yeah, s-she just came came to, Angel said as he wiped his eyes. After Wes had left, Willow brought in some soup and sandwiches for Buffy and Angel. Buffy whimpered from her secure position in Angels arms. She was curled into a tight ball, her arms wrapped around his waist. Her face was hidden from view as it was buried into his chest. Angel kissed her on the head and pulled the blankets up around them more. Thanks, Willow, Angel said gratefully. She smiled sympathetically and moved to simply lay a hand on Buffys shoulder. Buffy shrieked and jumped and threw Willows hand away. Willow started to cry and looked at her best friend. Buffy looked up at her best friend lost at first, then realized who it was. Willow? she whispered. Willow nodded meekly. Im so sorry, Wills. I thought I thought you were Willow pulled Buffy into a gigantic hug. I know, she said in Buffys ear, I know. But itll never be him ever again, OK? Hes dust. Angel staked him. Youre going to be ok. I promise, Willow said. Buffy cried and inside Angel did, too. He thanked God for Willow almost as often as he thanked God he had Buffy. She was her best friend. If something ever happened to Willow, he knew Buffy would never be able to go on. He always protected her as if she were his little sister or something. Willow stood and wiped her eyes. Angel looked at her in amazement. I guess you girls are stronger than we men give you credit for, he said with his infamous wry grin. Buffy and Willow both laughed. Yeah, except we get choked up and start bawling at the tiniest things, Buffy said. Remember that one TV commercial just last week? Willow said through her giggles. You guys cried over a commercial? Angel asked completely dumbfounded. Willow and Buffy both blushed and avoided eye contact for fear of another fit of giggles. It didnt last long because they all burst into a riot of laughter. Buffy keeled over in pain. Oooh. OW! OW! OW! Willow and Angel immediately were at her side. What is it, baby? Angel asked. Im fine. I just moved wrong. For a moment I actually forgot about everything that had happened in the past few days, Buffy replied sadly. She glanced at Angel. His eyes locked with hers and all she saw was fear and pain. She touched his cheek and he closed his eyes and moved into her touch. Thanks, Will, Buffy said. For what? she asked. For helping me forget. Even if it was just for a few minutes, she replied shortly. Willow nodded. She gave Buffy and Angel both another quick hug and then walked out of the room. Ch. 18 Comfort *A few days later* Buffy readjusted Shane in her arms. She was breast feeding him as she lay in bed. Angel was next to her, one arm around her and one around Shane. Angel had his head resting on top of Buffys, his face buried in her hair. He inhaled her vanilla scent and let out a long sigh. He kissed her crown then readjusted himself on the bed. You have no idea how much I missed you, Buffy, Angel whispered. Oh, I think I do, she replied with a determined nod. He looked down at Shane and gave a slight smile. Shane reached for him and Angel held out his finger for him to grip. Shane released Buffys nipple from his mouth and giggled as Angel tickled him. Buffy smiled sadly at the scene before her. They were a family. She was holding her and Angels baby. Things had been so perfect for them until a few days ago. Shed been kidnapped, beaten, and raped, and Angel was acting like nothing had happened. Did he think badly of her? Did he not trust her anymore, because of what shed allowed Spike to do? Would he still marry her? Did he even want to be near her? Why would he? After all, shed let another man not only touch her, but allowed him to have sex with her. Is

that what he thinks of me? Buffy thought desperately. Angel noticed the look on Buffys face and took Shane from her arms. He got up off the bed and walked over and gently placed him down in his crib. He gave him a quick kiss on the head and smiled down at him. He walked back over to the bed and sat down next to Buffy. He took her in his arms and held her close, giving her a kiss on the forehead. Ok, Buffy. Whats wrong? Buffy looked up at him in amazement. How does he always know? She thought. Nothings wrong, Angel. Im just tired, she lied. Angel rolled his eyes and sighed. Buffy, you dont have nothing face, you have something face. Now tell me whats bothering you, he said. Buffy gave a small smile at his wording. Well, I might as well just come out with it, Buffy thought. OK, she sighed, Angel, do you still want to marry me? she asked. She looked up at him expectantly. She knew what he was going to say. Hes going to say Of course not! Why would I want to marry you after what you let Spike do to you? she thought. But thats not what he said. Buffy, why would you ever think that I wouldnt want to marry you? I love you. Youre the mother of my child and my soul mate. Of course, I want to marry you, Angel said. He touched her face gently and searched her eyes to try and figure out what was currently running through her mind. But, Angel, Ive been unfaithful! I was with another man! How can you say you love me after what I let Spike do to me? How can you still marry me? How can you even still be sitting here next to me pretending that nothing happened? Buffy cried desperately. Oh, Buffy he pulled her to him and she screamed from all the built up frustration shed had over the past few days. She cried until her eyes burned and her tear ducts dried up. Angel simply stroked her hair and whispered senseless words into her ear. His shirt was wet from her tears, but it was strangely comforting to him. Buffy slowly pulled away from him and got up off the bed. Angel followed and placed his hands on her hips, not ever wanting to lose contact with her. What did he do to you? Tell me, Buffy please. She slowly removed his hands from her and looked at him. Im sorry, Angel. I just I cant talk about this with you. He looked down at his hands and nodded. Ok, Buffy. Then Ill go get Willow for you and leave you to your privacy. He went to exit the room, but Buffy grabbed his hand gently. And looked at her. I cant talk to Willow about it either and you know it, she said carefully. He only nodded and said, Well, then who DO you want to talk to, Buffy? It came out a little harsher than he intended it to. She flinched a little and dropped her head. He touched her cheek and she looked up shamefully. Im sorry. I didnt mean for it to come out like that. She looked away again and whispered, Yes, you did. Otherwise you wouldnt have said it like that, Angel. He looked at her for a moment, not knowing what to say. Finally, Buffy broke the silence. Just go get me the phone please, Angel? I need to make a phone call to an old friend. He wanted to ask who, but knew better. He ran his hand down her arm comfortingly and then exited the room. He left her standing alone in the middle of the room. She turned and looked out the window, watching the sunset, and wrapped her arms around herself for comfort. Ch. 19 Sweet Misery Buffy knocked on the small apartment door. She couldnt believe she was here. Yes, she could. She needed this. She needed to talk to someone who wouldnt judge her. Just like she didnt judge me last time, Buffy thought. I cant talk to Angel about it because were too close, she thought. Just then, the door opened and Buffy looked up at the timid, blonde-haired, Wicca shed grown to know as one of her close friends. She smiled weakly. Hey Tara, she said quietly. Tara nodded and motioned her inside. Buffy bowed her head and walked in.

Wow! Nice place, Tara! Buffy said looking around the apartment. Um T-Thanks, Buffy. You uh- you wanna sit down? Can I get you something to drink? Coffee? Tea? Buffy sat down on the couch. Yeah, coffee would be great. Cream and sugar as always. Tara nodded and went into the small kitchen to get the coffee. While she was waiting, Buffy got up and looked around the apartment. You mind if I look around? I havent seen your new apartment since you moved here. Buffy shouted into the kitchen. Yeah, sure go head! Tara yelled back cheerfully. Tara had moved from Sunnydale to San Francisco a few months after the return of Oz. Willow and she had decided to just be friends. She stayed close to Sunnydale in case they ever needed her and they could still visit on occasion. They kept in touch. Buffy had confided in her when she had started her relationship with Spike. She confided in her even more when Angel returned, only because she was too ashamed of being with Spike to talk to Willow about it. Buffy stopped by a bookshelf and looked at a picture that was framed there. It was of her, Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya at the park near the college campus. It was taken their freshmen year. Buffy smiled at the fun memories of that day. Xander had fallen into the pond because Anya had pushed him in to save him from what she thought were evil geese. They had all had a big laugh out of it, especially as Xander walked up to them soaking wet. Buffy smiled again and wiped a tear off of her cheek that had somehow escaped. She placed the picture back on the shelf and walked back to the couch as Tara was bringing in the coffee. They sat down and sipped their coffee. They talked about normal stuff and Buffy showed her pictures of Shane. She showed her the one that was taken of everyone when they first brought him home, some of her and Angel, and a few more of the rest of the gang. Tara asked how Oz and Willow were doing. Buffy could she the hurt in her eyes, but then saw happiness when Buffy told her how well they were doing. She always did only want Willow to be happy, Buffy thought. Finally, Tara asked the big question that Buffy knew had just been hovering over their heads the whole time. S-so B-Buffy Um why dont you tell me what you really came here to talk to me about? Tara asked. Buffy smiled shyly at her and then looked down in her lap at her cup of coffee. That is I mean I-If youre ready to talk about it, Tara corrected. Yeah Im ready, Buffy sighed. And she proceeded to tell Tara about everything. She told her how well things had been going and then how Spike had broken into the mansion. She told her about the fight. About her and Angel being knocked out. How Spike had kidnapped her and rapped her. She told her how ashamed she was and how she didnt think Angel would ever forgive her, and what she imagined Angel now thought of her. Tara only listened intently and added words of comfort where needed instead of words of judgment. And for that, Buffy was grateful. By the end of the day, Buffy was crying. Tara held her as she cried and told her that things would get better. You know Angel doesnt think that of you. He would never think any of that. He loves you, Buffy! He came back to Sunnydale to be with you and only you! And when he found out you were dating Sp um that you were already involved with someone, he still stayed because he loves you, Tara said calmly. Buffy sniffled and nodded quietly. I know he does, she whispered, I think thats why this is so hard because I love him so much, too. And Id never do anything to hurt him, Buffy continued. Tara smiled her usual shy smile and looked at Buffy. Than why dont you go tell him that, Buffy? Tara asked hopefully. Buffy looked up at Tara and then gave her a smile of her own. Then she reached over and gave Tara a tight hug. Thank you, Tara, she whispered. Thank you

Ch. 20 Happily Ever After 3 months have passed (A.N. Song is I Know What Love Is by Celine Dion) Buffy sighed happily from her position on the chair in front of the mirror. Today was really her wedding day. And she was marrying Angel. Is this really happening? She could remember saying that about her and Angel in the past, but it was during a much sadder moment. When he broke up with me She shook her head to remove the memory. Today they were getting married. Today they were starting new. They had a new life with their new baby. The past was just that the past. Buffy smiled at herself in the mirror and adjusted the blonde spiral curls that ran down the side of her face. Willow, Cordelia, Anya, Tara and Dawn stood behind her in their bridesmaids dresses. They all looked beautiful. The dresses Buffy picked out for them were light lilac and were strapless. They had a small line of diamonds running along the top edge of the upper piece of the dress and another along the bottom hem of the long skirt that flowed freely to the floor. All five girls had their hair pulled up with a few styled strands hanging around their faces. They all, including the bride, wore the same necklace; an elegant heart shaped diamond pendant. They were a gift to all the bridesmaids from Angel a few months ago. He had only surprised Buffy with hers just a night ago. Buffy fingered the necklace gingerly and then stood in front of the full length mirror in the churchs dressing room they were in. Her dress was similar in style to those of her bridesmaids; a simple strapless top with a row of diamonds along the top and bottom of the dress. The back was criss-crossed and tied like a corset. There was a long train along the back that had sparkles embroidered in it. Buffys hair was pulled up on top of her head and was curled into spirals. Her vale was embroidered like the train on her dress and was attached to her head with an elegant tiara. Buffy turned to her bridesmaids and smiled. Willow, her maid of honor, handed Buffy her bouquet of lilac colored roses that matched the brides colors. Are you ready to get married? Willow asked excitedly. Buffy grinned at her and nodded. Definitely! she said. Anya yawned and tapped her nails on the desk beside her impatiently. So this party thing after wards whats it called? The rec the recess?? Anya asked quizzically. Cordelia laughed. The reception? Yeah that! Anya exclaimed. Anyway, its gonna go on all night, right? I mean you two have already had sex plenty of times so theres no reason youll want to leave early, right? Anya asked. Dawn giggled. Cordelia choked on the water she was drinking. Tara coughed and tried not to laugh. Willow just shook her head smiling then looked at Buffy to hear her response. This outta be good. Well, Anya just because Angel and I have already slept together before doesnt mean we wont tonight. It is our wedding night after all. Its tradition. Buffy said calmly. Anya rolled her eyes. Its only tradition if youre a virgin on your wedding night. Its called consumption or something, Anya said with a wave of her hand. Dawn and Tara giggled behind her. Um, its consummation, Anya, Willow provided.

Whatever. Anyway, they cant have that because Buffys not a virgin! Anya exclaimed. OK, time to shut her up, Buffy thought. This is just getting embarrassing! I do NOT want Dawn knowing about my sex life! Anya Angel is the one I gave my virginity to back when I was 17. I think its only fitting that hes the one who has me on our wedding night, and all the times after that for that matter. OK? Buffy smiled happily at Anya. Anya got the point. Time to shut up. Got it. Buffy turned to the rest of her bridesmaids. Ok, she sighed. Lets get married, shall we? ***** Angel paced the room. Back and forth back and forth. He stopped in front of the mirror and smoothed his tux jacket and straightened his white satin tie once again. He ran a hand through his spikey hair. He had made sure it was spiked just the way he knew Buffy liked it. He had put on the cologne that he knew she loved as well. He wanted their day to be perfect for her. He knew she had dreamed of this day just as much as he had. He turned and faced his groomsmen. They stood casually as if nothing was happening. How can they possibly be so calm? Angel asked himself. Angel let out a quick sigh, then looked up at his best man, Wesley. Wesley gave him a genuine smile. Youll do fine, Angel, Wesley said. Yeah, man. Dont worry about anything! Gunn said and patted his shoulder. We have everything under control, Dead Boy, Xander said encouragingly with a smirk. Dont call me that, Angel said, which felt like about the billionth time hed told the boy that. Oz approached Angel and attached the lilac rose matching his brides colors to his tux jacket. He grabbed his shoulders and looked him in the eyes. Do you love her, Angel? he asked. More than the world, Angel replied quietly. Then thats all you need, Oz said nodding. Angel nodded and grinned. Thanks, Oz. Oz just smiled back and said, Ok, gentlemen! Lets get our boy here to the alter! The four men grabbed Angel by the shoulders and arms and pulled him out the door of the churchs dressing room. The whole time Oz was humming the old Beatles song, Love Is All You Need ***** The church doors opened and Buffy sighed happily again. She didnt look at any of the guests or her friends. Her eyes went strait to Angels, who was waiting for her at the alter. She held Giles arm tighter for fear she would pass out from the anticipation. Before she knew it she was at the alter. Giles hugged her gently and gave her a peck on the cheek. He handed her to Angel and shook his hand. Take care of her, Angel, Giles told him.

Angel nodded and replied, You know I will. Giles nodded and then took his seat. The ceremony continued perfectly. Their vows and rings were exchanged. Angel and Buffy had said their I dos and then finally Angel kissed his bride. He put his forehead to hers and smiled. She smiled back and giggled. We did it! She whispered excitedly. He kissed her sweetly again and whispered, I love you. I love you, too, she said back. They turned to their guest and the priest made the announcement. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Angel and Buffy OConnor! They both beamed and kissed once again. Their friends and family clapped and cheered. Buffy looked over at Willow. Willow came up and gave them both a hug. You did it!! Willow exclaimed excitedly. Yeah, Buffy said. She turned and looked at Angel and smiled. We did. He smiled back. He leaned closer to her ear and whispered, This isnt all were gonna do, I assure you. Just wait until tonight! Buffy giggled and gave him a mischievous smile. Then they walked down the aisle as man and wife. ***** Buffy sipped her glass of champagne and took a little bite of her wedding cake. She listened to the song that was currently playing end. A slow song came on and Buffy looked over at Angel and smiled. He smiled back at her and grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. Dance with me? he asked. Forever, she replied. He grinned and gave her a small kiss and then led her to the dance floor with the rest of the couples. He took her in his arms and wrapped one arm around her small waist. He took her tiny hand into his large one and held her close. Buffy sighed contently in his arms and swayed to the music and listened to the beautiful words as the man on stage began to sing them. // I was forgotten Until you called my name Lost in the shadows Until you shined your light my way Now I believe again In all my dreams again Im wide eyed and innocent Those doubting days Are so far away and oh // // I will fall And you will catch me always

Time has taught me this I will fly And youll be there to guide me Straight up to my hearts highest wish I feel you close to me And I know what love is // Buffy looked up at Angel from her place in his arms. You requested this song, didnt you, Angel? she said grinning. I heard you listening to it a lot the past week or so and kinda figured you were attached to it, he said grinning back. Thats because it reminds me of you and I every time I hear it, she whispered. Tell me something, Buffy, Angel said. Mmmanything, Buffy whispered back. How do you know what love is? he asked. She only stared at him in amazement. She was about to speak when Angel stopped her. Tell me later, he whispered. He kissed her gently on the forehead and cheek and she returned to her place of resting her head on his shoulder as they continued dancing to the song as it played on. // Now theres no mountain Too high for me to climb No ocean so wide That I could not reach the other side Now I believe in me Cause you live and breathe in me And nothing can come between We are one star No night can darken, oh // // I will fall And you will catch me always Time has taught me this I will fly And youll be there to guide me Straight up to my hearts highest wish I feel you close to me And I know what love is // The others walked onto the dance floor and paired up: Oz and Willow, Xander and Anya, Cordelia and Wesley, Fred and Gunn, Giles and Dawn. Tara sat on the sidelines holding little Shane. Oz and Willow danced near Buffy and Angel. Buffy looked over Angels shoulder and beamed at Willow. Willow smiled back. As Willow and Buffy shared a smile, Oz whispered in Willows ear. I love you, Willow Rosenberg Will you marry me?

Willow broke into happy tears and only smiled and nodded happily. Yes, Oz of course I will, was all she could get out before Oz kissed her. // Its an unspoken thing A quiet opening There are no words that can go that deep But I know I know // // I will fall And you will catch me always Time has taught me this I will fly And youll be there to guide me Straight up to my hearts highest wish I feel you close to me And I know what love is // Buffy looked up at Angel again and just looked in his eyes. I know what love is, Angel she whispered. From loving you Angel only smiled and kissed her passionately. The End