WHAT IS MARRIAGE???
1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an
institution for the blind.
3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his
Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.
4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring,
wedding ring and suffering.
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the
first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman
listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man
listens.In the third year, they both speak and the
NEIGHBOUR listens.
6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant
with friends.You order what you want, and when you see
what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that
instead.
7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the
church and found himself married. A year later he muttered
something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the
husband gives and the wife takes.
9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father:
I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That
happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the
alarm clock.
12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before
marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.
But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder
why.
14. There was this lover who said that he would go through
hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through
HELL.
16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge
than to let him keep her.
17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the
rest cheat in Europe.
18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of
a coin. They just can't face each other, but they still stay
together.
19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble
starts when they try to decide which one.
20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.
21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name
was Always.
22. It's not true that married men live longer than single
men, it only seems longer.
23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost
impossible.
24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALLMONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL
GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY
WIFE FOUND OUT.
25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the
hallway
lighs on.
26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another:
AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE
WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I
MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.
27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is
finished.
28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his
job, he still ends up with the same boss.
29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED.
The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all
said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you
can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife
is.
