Flashback Friday: Hoarder

opinion
Mar 13, 20201 min

You never know when something might come in handy.

Computerworld  |  Shark Tank
Credit: Computerworld / IDG

Pilot fish is looking at what’s taking up disk space on one of her servers. Not surprisingly, some of the biggest files are archives of Microsoft Outlook messages from one user.

But the files have names like Do Not Use__archive1.pst (size: 3,263,697 KB) and Archive4(dont open-is broken down).pst (size: 7,070,993 KB).

“Broken? I wonder if it’s because the file size is 3.5 times larger than the maximum that Outlook supports,” grumbles fish.

“Most people, when they have a corrupted file, they just delete it. This user is keeping the PSTs in hopes that someday the technology will become available to allow him to open his broken archives and recover his emails from them.

“I bet you this guy is paying to have his body cryogenically frozen as well!”

Sharky will be glad to take any true tales of IT life that are cluttering up your memory. Send them to me at [email protected]. You can also subscribe to the Daily Shark Newsletter.

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Questions that Sharky gets a lot

Q: What's a pilot fish?

A: There are two answers to that question. One is the Mother Nature version: Pilot fish are small fish that swim just ahead of sharks. When the shark changes direction, so do the pilot fish. When you watch underwater video of it, it looks like the idea to change direction occurred simultaneously to shark and pilot fish.

Thing is, sharks go pretty much anywhere they want, eating pretty much whatever they want. They lunge and tear and snatch, but in so doing, leave plenty of smorgasbord for the nimble pilot fish.

The IT version: A pilot fish is someone who swims with the sharks of enterprise IT -- and lives to tell the tale. Just like in nature, a moment's inattention could end the pilot fish's career. That's life at the reef.

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A: Yes, as best we can determine.

Q: Where do the Sharky tales come from?

A: From readers. Sharky just reads and rewrites and basks in the reflected glory of you, our readers. It is as that famous fish-friendly philosopher Spinoza said, "He that can carp in the most eloquent or acute manner at the weakness of the human mind is held by his fellows as almost divine."

Q: Do I have to write my story in Sharky-ese?

A: No. Not at all. Just be sure to give us details. What happened, to whom, what he said, what she said, how it all worked out. If Sharky likes your tale of perfidy, heroism or just plain weirdness at your IT shop, he will supply his particular brand of Shark snark.

Q: I've got a really funny story, but I could get fired if my old trout of a boss found out I told you. How confidential is what I send to Sharky?

A: We don't publish names: yours, your boss's, your trout's, your company's. We try to file off the serial numbers, though there's no absolute guarantee that someone who lived through the incident won't recognize himself. Our aim is to share the outrageous, knee-slapping, milk-squirting-out-your-nose funny tales that abound in the IT world, not to get you fired. That would not be funny.

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Q: Where are the Sharkives?

Tales of old can be found in Sharky's archive.

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