Listener Q&A: How to Be Consistent, Advice for Aspiring Podcasters, Juggling Multiple Priorities, and Preparing for Success

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Today's episode is going to be a little bit more relaxed it's going to be a solo episode with just me doing a little bit of a life update and answering some of your questions it's been a while since I've done a Q&A episode.

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So many of you sent in wonderful questions and we also have a voice notes from some of you so I'm really excited to feature your voices on this podcast I feel like I do so much talking at you that it's

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nice to feel like I'm in conversation with you a little bit more.

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But before we dive into the queue a I wanted to just kind of catch up to give you all a little bit of insight into

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what's going on with me what's going on with balanced black girl just kind of an update because we've been going Full Speed Ahead this year

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we started off with our reframing the reset series on the podcast which was the most like

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listenership engagement excitement the podcast has ever gotten so for everybody who tuned in to the reframing the reset

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series who shared it with your friends who had nice things to say thank you so much because that series.

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Really blew me away your reception to it your reception to those conversations particularly

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to the episode around cleaning and decluttering your really took to that episode that was probably the most successful episode we've ever had on the show

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also the most successful kind of social media content promoting an episode that we've ever had across all social media platforms so it's been really really helpful for me to see what resonates with you all and I'm excited too

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continue bringing some of that content to you later in the year because it seems like you really enjoyed it and got a lot

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out of it and right now we just wrapped up our manifestation and inner Magic series and I really loved the manifestation and inner Magic series I felt like the conversations were just so rich I had an opportunity to learn so much from the guests that we had

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and.

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I will say it did not have the performance that you reframing the reset had I think reframing the reset just resonated so deeply with more people

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however I'm really proud of the manifestation in inner Magic series I really enjoyed those conversations I enjoyed bringing those conversations to you

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and it was also a good learning for me to see what resonates with you to see what doesn't resonate with you we did a lot of testing of new types of content

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also did testing of new types of ads and so it was just a time of a lot of experimentation and I'm still trying to figure out what works and

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you know I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed that the reception to some of those things weren't a little bit higher I did notice that when we tried

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testing having ads at the beginning of the episode I noticed that didn't particularly do as well which was a little bit disappointing I know ads probably aren't everyone's favorite but they are really helpful for keeping things going here.

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But you also can't have add that.

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People don't listen to and so I'm continuing to figure out how do I keep this thing going how do I keep this thing sustaining and also keep

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you all here and a lot of the questions that I got from you all were from aspiring podcasters and people who wanted to know a little bit more about podcasting so I can definitely talk a little bit more about that when I answer those questions but it was really interesting to have

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S Series and to have a format that was a little bit more experimental and to just see that it had a little bit different different results and so it was good for me to see what resonated with you all.

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It was good for me to see things that maybe didn't resonate with you as much so we probably are going to take a break from the more spiritual topics for a while and

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really get back to Wellness and the series that will be kicking off next week is very Wellness focused we're going to be talking about fertility we're going to be talking about motherhood

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birthing new ideas and just the idea of spring and new life and what that represents if you're listening to that Series in real time it'll be April 20 22 which is also black maternal health

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month we have black maternal Health Week.

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Happening right in the middle of the month which is really important and so I'm really really looking forward to bringing those conversations to you we've had some great guests great interviews

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just a lot of insight that hasn't happened on the podcast before there haven't really been conversations about motherhood.

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We've talked a bit about reproductive Health in the past kind of towards the very beginning of the podcast but there's so much more to talk about there that I'm excited to bring back to you all.

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So I think this next series is going to be one that you really want to make sure you tune in to because we're having some very important conversations

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particularly for black folks who are interested in giving birth and ways that we can do so peacefully and

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in a healthy Manner and protect ourselves and protect our families and their conversations that are just really really important even if that's not necessarily in your plans for the time being understanding your reproductive health and what your options are from a reproductive standpoint is so incredibly important

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it's truly like a Vital sign and it's a big part of understanding your health and so I'm really excited to kick off that series next week and that series was actually going to kick off this week but I wanted to take a little bit of a breather and have a little bit of time to just catch up with you.

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I haven't done as many solo episodes lately as I was doing towards the end of last year and so I wanted to just take a breather keep it light hang out with you chat a little bit and that's what we're going to do today.

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So as far as life updates from me y'all I've been going through it

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I will be so honest with you I have been really really going through it it for me personally has been a season of a lot of transition.

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As I'm figuring out what I want out of my life and where I want to be and who I want to be I'm beginning to understand that there are definitely some changes that need to take place and I'm beginning to map out what

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that's going to look like for me

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potential relocations in the next year beginning new relationships and figuring out how.

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That works with this lifestyle that I've built for myself that is very much centered around my Independence and doing everything on my own.

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It is just been a time for a lot of transition and a lot of deep reflection.

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And frankly a lot of me really wanting to invest more in relationships than I had in the past.

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And then I've also been going through it from a business standpoint y'all.

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Really really going through it it has been a really volatile year for balance black girl

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in terms of high highs and low lows and sharp periods of growth and then periods of you know decline if I'm being fully transparent with you.

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That have been really really difficult to navigate those ups and downs and that kind of volatility that comes with.

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Creating content and I've had to learn how to walk away a little bit and how to not be so metrics driven and how to not obsess over numbers the way that I would like.

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And I've had to put some separation between myself and the performance of things a bit for my own well-being and for my own sanity.

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Because as much as I don't believe in comparison sometimes it's hard to not compare yourself to other people and when I see people who have.

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All of these resources and teams and all of this support and all of this press and all of this.

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Stuff you know Network podcasts like handed to them and all of these opportunities and I'm still you know.

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Struggling I shouldn't say struggling but you know I'm still here learning some very hard lessons and you know.

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All the years that I've put into this and all the time that I put into this to be a skilled podcaster and to learn how to facilitate conversations and to learn how to interview people in a meaningful way.

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To feel like that doesn't matter.

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In the grand scheme of things because of the resources that I don't have or because of the connections that I don't have or the support that I don't have has been really disheartening and having built this on my own for as long as I have.

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I'm definitely reaching a point where I'm I'm tired I'm tired of wearing all the hats.

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And so I'm figuring out it's like how how do I bring in support and what does support look like when you don't have a ton of resources classic challenge of anyone who has a business right.

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That we know all too well and so I'm also navigating that and I'm also navigating what it's going to be best for me in all of this.

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Does it make sense to continue doing what I've been doing does it make sense to continue podcasting does it make sense to continue creating content there are some days.

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I'm not so sure and I'm asking myself some of those really tough questions right now and.

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Doing a lot of reflecting and trying to give myself a lot of space to figure out.

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The answers to that because I will be fully transparent the rate that I have been going and.

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As much of myself that I've been putting into all of this from an effort resource time standpoint is really unsustainable and so.

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I'm in need of some major shifts in terms of.

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How much I put into this and what the resources that go into this look like and so I don't know what the final result of that is going to be.

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But I'm going through those motions right now and I'm feeling the strain and the challenge of that.

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And I was definitely not trying to sit here and have this be a Debbie Downer episode.

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But you know I also want to be really honest with you about where I'm at and about how I'm feeling.

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And why the energy that I bring to this space might be a certain way because I do think that as creators.

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Sometimes we can do a disservice acting like everything is rainbows and butterflies and free stuff and

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spunk on and not talk about the challenges of it too

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and so I really want to be more transparent with the challenges that come from being a part of this space in addition to the good stuff because there is good stuff too.

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But there's different seasons and I think we're all different and we approach this work so differently and.

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I think it's just all about figuring out what works best for you like I said we have a lot of aspiring podcasters who submitted questions so we can get into that but.

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I want to pick up the the energy a little bit because I feel like.

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It got a little bit down and actually one of my goals for this podcast while I'm doing it is to make it a little bit more

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fun and to have a little bit more personality so y'all may not know this about me unless you know me

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personally which some people who know me personally listen and but most don't is that

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actually I'm a pretty light-hearted person and that humor is very very important to me and most of the time when I'm communicating with people in real time.

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There's a lot of jokes there's a lot of humor there's a lot of laughing it's very important for me and how I communicate with others and in my relationships.

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But you wouldn't necessarily know that listening to the podcast because the podcast is a little bit more serious and a little bit more stuffy than I am and I feel like the Persona that I put on

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when I come to the podcasts a little bit more serious and a little bit more stuffy than I really am and I think part of that is because I want to be professional and I want to

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present myself as someone who is

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poised and qualified to facilitate conversation and sometimes we talk about hard stuff right we talk about healing and we talk about trauma and we talk about things that are heavy but I don't want to

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only talk about things that are heavy and I don't want to only you know go down those roads because there's also a lot of

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hearing that happens through laughter and sometimes is fun to just have a light-hearted conversation like you're able to laugh with your friends a little bit more

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and that's something that

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I think it's been really missing from balance black girl outside of you know the occasional episode here and there and I wanted more of that I want that to more so be the norm in this space because I think that's more authentic to who I am and how I communicate with people in real life that's more in line with.

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What I like to hear and I think that Wellness can be fun and it can be enjoyable and I think that we can heal through having a sense of joy

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as well I think a lot of us are very familiar with the place and with the oppressions and with the traumas and that's not to Discount those things but it's to say that.

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I don't think I'm telling you anything that you don't know when it comes to the ways that we are oppressed and experience things

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because we're all experiencing it in our own ways and so if we can find Joy together actually think that can be a really beautiful way to find our balance together.

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So I'm going to feel out what that looks like I don't know if I feel fully comfortable just flat-out cracking jokes on air yet.

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Because then I feel like well if they don't land that's awkward.

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And I also know that my humor can be a little bit sarcastic and I feel like with sarcasm you have to tow a fine line like I don't want to offend people if they don't get it yet so I'm trying to

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ease you into it so that you know we can get there together I'm not going to go from 0 to 100 with cracking jokes but just know.

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They're coming and the sense of humor is coming and I hope you are with me on that.

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So that is my life update where I'm at we're balanced black girl is at.

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What's going on for this current time period but I'm ready to bring you on in here and to start answering some of your questions.

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So some questions that were sent in via voice note so excited to feature your voices

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some questions that were sent in Via Instagram so I'm going to start off with the questions that were sent in via voice notes so that we can have conversations so that we can hear your beautiful voices and then towards the end we will get

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to the questions that were submitted on Instagram so let's get into the live questions.

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Hi less I am a 15 year old girl who was really interested in self development.

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And I wanted to know how to kind of regain consistency after falling off of being consistent

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because I found that to be one of the most difficult parts of my self-development journey is kind of getting back on track and into the swing of things after maybe like a big life event happens or occurs and I kind of like lost my motivation for a little bit and how to kind of regain that I'd really like to know your input on

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just regaining consistency in general I love you by the way and your podcast.

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Thank you so much honey I love you and I appreciate you listening I appreciate you submitting your question first of all the fact that you're 15 and.

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Listening to podcasts and interested in self development is such a beautiful.

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Beautiful thing I wish that I was on that wave when I was I was 15

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but I think that that's that's really amazing that you're already off to a really great start when it comes to implementing incredible habits.

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I just want you to know that it is completely normal to have.

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Your habits waiver to have your feelings of motivation kind of go in and out actually think that there's a lot of importance when it comes to Seasons

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in personal development I don't think that we are always meant to be kind of pushing the gas pedal in terms of self-improvement all the time

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I think that there can be Seasons where there are habits that we are working towards or maybe a time where we are Maybe

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beating a bit more personal development in seeking out new skills and then I also think it's really important that we have time after that for application for practice for implementation and for rest

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and it's a really hard to implement things and to apply things when you're constantly consuming them or when you're constantly kind of pushing yourself to do more and to be better so if you're finding yourself having a hard time being consistent

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it could be your body's way of trying to kind of help you

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ab and flow a little bit more of trying to give you down time to let what you're learning soak in so that you can reflect and apply.

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And move forward with it so I don't want you to feel like you need to be on with development

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all the time I don't think anybody needs to be on with development all the time and especially with you being 15 being so young you have so much of life ahead of you.

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That I don't want you to put that pressure on yourself to feel like you need to have everything perfectly dialed in right now because I also think as you continue to navigate life life experience is really going to help you do that in a lot of ways.

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So I really encourage you to take more of a seasonal approach with it have seasons where maybe you're focused on certain skills that you want to learn or a certain habits that you want to implement and then

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after you kind of go through that season have some Town time to let yourself reflect on that reflect on what you've learned really think about ways that you can apply it in your life give yourself time to slowly acclimate to those new habits.

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Then when you are ready to jump into maybe a season of learning and kind of a season of development I definitely recommend starting with one habit or ritual at a time.

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So whether that is maybe wanting to read more or wanting to move your body more or implementing something like a meditation practice when you're wanting to get back in the swing of things I find that it really helps to start with just one thing.

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And have that one thing fit into your day as naturally as possible.

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So let's say for example you're having a hard time meditating but you're really good about taking your daily walks well maybe because walking is already a habit for you

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maybe you can start listening to guided meditations on your walk because that's something that you're going to do anyway and something that will get you back in the habit of that meditation practice

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but it's not going to require a ton of labor on your end to start implementing that habit does that make sense.

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So if you are looking to get back in the swing of things I really recommend starting with just one habit at a time that you want to acclimate into your routine and from there you can then start stacking.

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Habit stacking so we talked about this a little bit and reframing the reset but I'm happy to talk about it more

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haven't stacking as essentially when you group habits together so if you have a new habit you want to start you tack it onto something you're already doing we kind of went through an example of that just now with the walking meditation example.

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So if you know

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maybe you have a period of time where you get ready at the same time every day before you go to school maybe if you want to add a bit more personal development during that time you can use that time to listen to your favorite podcast your favorite audiobook during that time that you would already be getting ready

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right or if you like to have social media time or maybe you catch up on your Tick Tock so you catch up on what's going on Instagram

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maybe you can do that like while you're on a walk to kind of Stack those two habits together like you're probably going to spend some time on social media anyway and combine it with

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to help you out in that regard so you can start looking at ways you can start kind of implementing one habit at a time

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integrating it into things that you're already doing and slowly start acclimating.

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Until you rebuild that routine but I really I promise you it is totally okay to have times where you are feeling a little bit more inconsistent and.

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I don't want you to be too hard on yourself about that if you are having one of those Seasons I promise it's okay.

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Thank you so much for submitting the great question all right so we are going to go to our next question.

00:21:42.721 --> 00:21:48.197

Any advice for aspiring podcasters

direct to the point

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I love it I mean yes honey I have a lots of advice for aspiring podcasters I wish I could ask you for more information I would love to know maybe

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in the aspiring podcaster Journey are you like do you already have an idea of a show that you want to launch and you just need to do it

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or do you know that you really love podcasts and you're super interested in hosting a podcast but maybe you haven't flushed out that idea yet or you know I wish I could contact you directly and ask you.

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Just more clarifying questions so I can give you more direct advice but I can also just give some general advice to cover maybe all of the above.

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So I think for somebody who's interested in podcasting but maybe hasn't figured out there show idea yet.

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My advice would be to get super clear on what your message is so there are a lot of podcasts out there and that's not to discourage anybody you know.

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A lot of times when people are talking to content creators or aspiring content creators they try to scare them off by saying you know the market is saturated

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lots of things are saturated that doesn't mean that you can't do it and that you can't find your people and build a great Community around it I think you totally can and I would love to see more black women

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all ages podcasting because I think we are so self-aware we are so thoughtful

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and we have dope things to say and I would love to be able to hear more of it so I'm always going to encourage us to start podcast I don't care how saturated the space is there space for you and there are people who want to hear from you.

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Before you get there you need to get really clear on what your message is and I think that that's a misstep that aspiring podcasters forget I think people sometimes like the idea of podcasting or they may have an idea for a show

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but they don't necessarily flush out what their key message is right what is it that you want to say.

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And why is it important that that message comes from you what is the unique perspective that you have.

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The next thing that's really important to get clear on is who do you want to listen right now that you know what your message is who needs to hear it

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who do you want to say that message to you and how can you make sure you convey that message in a way that they would want to listen

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sometimes for new podcasters that can be very tempting to just kind of get in your own head and get in your own space and make it all about you

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but if you want people to listen they need to feel included the podcast needs to also feel like it's about them so that they're engaged and they want to be a part of what you got going on.

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So I would get super clear on who your ideal listeners are who it is you want to help or connect with or entertain.

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Can it depends on the genre of your podcast and get super clear on why they would want to listen to you.

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I think that the intersection of those answers of what do you want to say who do you want to say it too and why would they want to listen

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that intersection should really be the basis of your podcast that should be your strategy that drives what episodes are about and I

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I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to really focus on who your listeners are what your listeners are going through and what your listeners want to hear.

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My goal usually when I'm creating content for balance black girls specifically for the interview episodes is when I'm preparing interviews

00:25:19.441 --> 00:25:27.789

I'm thinking okay if my ideal listener I have actually an listener Avatar name is Zoe.

00:25:27.966 --> 00:25:37.854

If Zoe were sitting here having a conversation with this guest what would Joey want to know what would she ask.

00:25:38.256 --> 00:25:46.649

And my goal in doing that as I want someone to listen to the podcast episode and be like oh that's exactly what I was thinking and they just addressed it or

00:25:46.466 --> 00:25:55.291

that's what I've been struggling with and they just gave me a solution to my problem or they just gave me the advice that I needed without me even needing to ask.

00:25:55.324 --> 00:26:04.798

And that's what helps people really connect with what you're saying and want to come back for more and share it with their friends because when it comes to growing a podcast.

00:26:05.038 --> 00:26:09.371

It's pretty hard it's not like a social media platform where there is

00:26:09.179 --> 00:26:18.625

an algorithm where you can just put out a certain amount of content and eventually people will see it when it comes to podcasting there is an organic growth factor and

00:26:18.478 --> 00:26:32.173

people sharing your work with their friends or recommending it to others is actually really really important when it comes to getting new listeners so when you're able to create content to have conversations that your listeners are really interested in

00:26:32.027 --> 00:26:41.752

and want to share with their friends that's how you can really build a community again that is more relevant if you are interested in growing a podcast.

00:26:41.848 --> 00:26:52.258

Also if you're interested in growing your podcast I would say consistency is incredibly important because we can't release an episode one week and then ghosts are listeners for a month

00:26:52.156 --> 00:26:53.149

and then

00:26:53.047 --> 00:27:05.014

have episodes two weeks in a row and then ghost them for another month so also as you're putting your podcast together I want you to really think about a schedule that truly works for you and what you can be consistent doing

00:27:04.948 --> 00:27:12.405

for a very long time with this podcast I did an episode every other week because that was what worked best for me.

00:27:12.501 --> 00:27:27.447

Now I have a better production flow and it is easier for me to do one episode week because I now batch them and I'm not necessarily sitting down to record I'm usually not recording just a week before something goes live

00:27:27.373 --> 00:27:28.681

for most episodes.

00:27:29.191 --> 00:27:41.023

But the gag is for this episode that is that is exactly what I'm doing but it's because it's a Q&A episode and it's more organic I'm telling I'm just told you not to do the thing that I'm literally sitting here doing right now.

00:27:41.146 --> 00:27:50.754

Normally I like to batch episodes a little bit further in advance so that I can be really consistent with coming out with those episodes every week but if you want to come out with an episode every other week.

00:27:50.949 --> 00:27:56.705

Totally works just being super consistent so that your audience knows where to find you.

00:27:57.017 --> 00:28:03.979

And then the last and probably best piece of advice I could give and it's going to sound so annoying.

00:28:04.048 --> 00:28:13.080

Would be to just start and I know it's so annoying when people say that but I promise you you have to just get

00:28:12.996 --> 00:28:21.011

started just get started with whatever idea you have whatever microphone you can afford

00:28:20.936 --> 00:28:34.856

whatever you got right now is all that you've need and to just put it out there so that you can make it better because if you wait to have the perfect idea if you wait to have the perfect mic or the perfect Studio or whatever.

00:28:34.971 --> 00:28:41.383

You're far more likely to not do it and it's going to take too long and you.

00:28:41.515 --> 00:28:51.259

Could easily get yourself distracted and it's very easy to talk yourself out of it if you're trying to make it perfect so I recommend just putting it out there and improving.

00:28:51.283 --> 00:28:54.103

As you go okay

00:28:54.091 --> 00:29:05.707

so I want to kind of recap there because I covered a lot of things so first piece of advice for aspiring podcasters get super clear on what your message is get super clear on who your listener is

00:29:05.596 --> 00:29:13.845

and really figure out how to deliver that message in a way that they want to listen to and that is going to be your strategy for driving your show

00:29:13.833 --> 00:29:26.079

other thing I would say consistency is super important so find a schedule stick with it and then the last thing most important most annoying because I used to hate when people said this to but it's true is to just get

00:29:25.896 --> 00:29:33.704

started and let yourself get better as you go alright we're going to move on to our next question.

00:29:34.746 --> 00:29:48.297

Hi Liz my name is Kiana I just want to start this off by saying I love what you're doing with balanced black girl I love the space that you create for black women that we really don't get to have on the day-to-day basis and in our lives.

00:29:48.447 --> 00:29:52.843

I just also wanted to ask you how do you find time to create.

00:29:53.002 --> 00:29:58.650

Self-care ritual when you work like I work a corporate job like.

00:29:58.854 --> 00:30:06.851

Nine to five Monday through Friday and when I get off work I just want to watch TV and relax but I also.

00:30:06.956 --> 00:30:14.142

A full-time entrepreneur in like I have goals that I want to reach I have businesses that I want to create and I still want to

00:30:14.050 --> 00:30:21.362

get a college degree and it always feels so overwhelming that I'm not accomplishing these goals because

00:30:21.251 --> 00:30:28.285

I have this nine-to-five that I have to make top priority kind of because I want them to know like I'm here for the business.

00:30:28.336 --> 00:30:33.074

I want the money but at the same time I just feel like sometimes my heart isn't in it.

00:30:33.080 --> 00:30:39.781

And I have my family telling me put my heart into it or put my heart into what's best for me

00:30:39.769 --> 00:30:45.272

but I'm having a hard time figuring that out what would you recommend thanks bye.

00:30:46.395 --> 00:30:58.100

Oh Keanu thank you so much for that question and also just for the kind words I appreciate you listening and I appreciate you submitting this question to me and I can relate

00:30:58.053 --> 00:31:09.992

so much to what you're saying in terms of having different goals that you want to reach and working full-time and having a business and figuring out how to take care of yourself

00:31:09.819 --> 00:31:19.337

while you're working towards all these things I'm still in that same boat like I also have a nine-to-five while I do all of this and so I hear you

00:31:19.325 --> 00:31:28.951

I definitely hear you so I want to kind of break this down into a couple of different areas because there were kind of a few different parts to your question.

00:31:29.020 --> 00:31:39.898

So I want to start off with the first part where you talked about just finding space to take care of yourself and that can be really really hard when you have a pact.

00:31:40.003 --> 00:31:48.531

Schedule and when you have all of these different priorities and I think it depends on who you are on what you need

00:31:48.330 --> 00:32:06.095

on where you're at so for me something that has been really helpful my entire career is my true self care dedicated time is in the morning but I also look for ways to incorporate small pockets of care throughout my day so

00:32:05.975 --> 00:32:08.543

I've talked a lot about my morning routine.

00:32:08.873 --> 00:32:19.742

Everyone's probably sick of hearing about it but I've been doing it for a decade because it works and it has been what has really kept me grounded and

00:32:19.658 --> 00:32:25.503

able to do a lot of the things I've done is just having that dedicated time to ground

00:32:25.312 --> 00:32:30.347

to get centered before I start doing everything else in the day

00:32:30.119 --> 00:32:46.740

books that sounds like we have a kind of similar situations going on in terms of the structure of our lives and so for me usually what that looks like is meditation journaling reading and sometimes movement in the mornings it doesn't have to take a lot of time usually for me

00:32:46.566 --> 00:32:57.129

all of that total can take anywhere from 30 to 60 Minutes depending on how much time that I have in the mornings but that for me has been.

00:32:57.441 --> 00:33:00.981

The way I've been able to be most consistent with

00:33:00.916 --> 00:33:08.822

taking care of myself while also managing a job and a business and wanting to achieve these different goals.

00:33:08.964 --> 00:33:16.150

And for you maybe that's just 10 minutes just to get your thoughts down in your Journal of what your intentions are

00:33:16.003 --> 00:33:26.449

for the day or maybe that's just 10 minutes to listen to a guided meditation or to make a cup of tea in the morning and just slowly sip it before you head into work and head into a

00:33:26.419 --> 00:33:35.064

day you do not have to spend an hour doing all of the things but I do think that when you're able to just start your day with a few moments of getting really centered.

00:33:35.115 --> 00:33:38.485

And grounding into yourself and setting intentions.

00:33:38.536 --> 00:33:54.824

It can be really really helpful for you and then throughout the day if there are times that you can take breaks whether you are able to get take a little bit of time maybe away from your desk or way from your work area to just get a little bit of a walk or to get a little bit of fresh air

00:33:54.614 --> 00:33:59.370

again even if it's just for a few minutes those are the things that can really help you I mean

00:33:59.160 --> 00:34:07.724

I know I've been that person who when I worked on the first floor I would take all my bathroom breaks on the third floor.

00:34:07.946 --> 00:34:14.935

Just to give myself a little bit more time to like walk up there and walk back down and more time to decompress

00:34:14.707 --> 00:34:23.640

little things like that that can just help us carve out a little bit more headspace for ourselves can go a really really long way so I encourage you.

00:34:23.727 --> 00:34:33.336

If you can add a little bit of you time to your morning's even if it's just a few minutes and if you can also try to find little pockets of of you time through.

00:34:33.450 --> 00:34:38.683

The day to just kind of get realigned with yourself I think it'll go a really long way.

00:34:39.463 --> 00:34:50.593

Now the other thing I want to say I'm very curious what your human design type is because I was getting manifesting generator Vibes just from you.

00:34:50.698 --> 00:34:58.785

Being multi passionate and having these different goals that you want to reach and be interested in these different things I'm also a manifesting generator.

00:34:59.088 --> 00:35:02.656

I feel like we just have a lot in common so I'm so glad you asked this question.

00:35:02.671 --> 00:35:09.210

And sometimes it can be really hard when we have a lot of things that we want to achieve or a lot of different things that were involved in

00:35:09.162 --> 00:35:17.708

it can be hard to stay centered and to prioritize and so the first thing I want to say is that you can do anything.

00:35:18.146 --> 00:35:27.700

But you can't do everything all at once okay so as a multi passionate person I really learned the importance of having seasons of

00:35:27.581 --> 00:35:32.868

Focus so the seasons at work that are really busy for me

00:35:32.667 --> 00:35:47.587

that you know I have big projects happening or my team needs a lot of support or it's just really time for more of my energy to go there I'm not going as hard with the podcast and content creation and all of those things

00:35:47.413 --> 00:35:53.573

I'm just not because I can't do both and give both Justice and still pouring to myself.

00:35:53.795 --> 00:36:03.575

And you know there are also times and it depends on your work right we also have seasons where things may slow down at our jobs and during that time

00:36:03.536 --> 00:36:13.063

maybe you can kind of just do what you need to do to keep going and then you can focus a little bit more on your business so I really encourage you to look at what your seasons of focus are.

00:36:13.123 --> 00:36:20.841

To see if there is any kind of natural seasonality built into both your business and your job or their Seasons you maybe have

00:36:20.838 --> 00:36:30.149

season where there's a lot of sales and a lot more things going on that you need to pay attention to you and then are there seasons of down time where maybe you can shift your focus elsewhere.

00:36:30.245 --> 00:36:33.615

So that you can not feel as burnt out.

00:36:33.720 --> 00:36:45.237

Because you can't give 100% to these things all the time and you have a lot on your plate you mentioned working full-time and being an entrepreneur and wanting to go back to school and those are all incredible things.

00:36:45.252 --> 00:36:52.133

And you can do all of those things but you can't give 100% of yourself to all of those things at the same time.

00:36:52.175 --> 00:37:01.153

There will come a point where you will have to focus on something a little bit more and it's okay to kind of do what you need to do.

00:37:01.168 --> 00:37:09.165

In the other areas to keep them afloat while you give your energy towards whatever that main goal is at that time.

00:37:09.324 --> 00:37:24.289

So it sounds like you're super ambitious you have amazing goals that you want to reach I have no doubt that you can reach them I know you can but I really recommend you sitting down and mapping out what all of the goals are that you want to reach

00:37:24.268 --> 00:37:32.814

maybe looking at just one to two that are the most kind of low-hanging fruit and achievable for you where you're at

00:37:32.622 --> 00:37:50.350

right now so that you can just start getting some wins and break down the direct steps that you can take to get there sometimes when we have these goals that are so overarching it can feel really overwhelming when it's like how am I even going to get there from where I'm at but if you can just map out the next step you can take

00:37:50.239 --> 00:37:59.758

in the next step and the next step it's going to make it so much more achievable and it's okay to save some things for later if now is just not the time

00:37:59.719 --> 00:38:09.822

so if at your job right now it is really busy and it's demanding of you it just may not be the time to focus heavily on your business and that's okay

00:38:09.666 --> 00:38:24.289

that is okay it doesn't mean that you aren't capable it doesn't mean that you are not successful entrepreneur because you still absolutely can be but if that's what you're doing kind of keep yourself afloat and to make sure your basic needs are taken care of

00:38:24.088 --> 00:38:26.962

then it's okay to devote your energy there.

00:38:27.059 --> 00:38:40.529

I also do want to touch on what you mentioned about just having people in your life saying you know you should really prioritize your job and again I don't I don't know what your job is I don't know what your business is and kind of what that looks like but.

00:38:40.805 --> 00:38:47.254

I think it's okay if your heart isn't in your job and that may be an unpopular opinion.

00:38:47.539 --> 00:38:55.185

I never tell people to quit their jobs I haven't quit my job and I don't plan on it because I think it's important that our basic needs

00:38:55.146 --> 00:39:06.320

be met and for most of us we work jobs to make sure our basic needs are met and I think that that is very very important so I am not the person who's going to tell you to go

00:39:06.174 --> 00:39:07.509

jumping

00:39:07.380 --> 00:39:16.403

do something outlandish by any means but I also think it's okay if you have a job that your heart's not in and you go

00:39:16.310 --> 00:39:20.967

do a job and leave and do what it is that you want to do.

00:39:21.378 --> 00:39:30.924

I think that's okay and I think it's okay that your heart isn't in your job because your heart can only be split in so many different directions.

00:39:31.326 --> 00:39:40.196

And I wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself to feel like you need to love what it is that you're doing to make sure your needs are met.

00:39:40.661 --> 00:39:45.039

No it's good if you don't hate it I don't want you to hate it right but

00:39:45.018 --> 00:39:51.161

you know if it's a place that you go to do what you need to do to fund the other things that you've got going on.

00:39:51.473 --> 00:40:04.169

I think that's okay I don't think there's anything wrong with that in fact I think for some people it could potentially be healthier then having an obsession with a job and letting it destroy your health

00:40:04.112 --> 00:40:13.045

so that's what I would say I would really recommend on implementing seasons of focus getting really clear on what your goals are.

00:40:13.078 --> 00:40:22.642

This is perfect timing as we're heading into Q2 think about what your achievable next steps could be towards reaching your goals from April to July

00:40:22.396 --> 00:40:35.857

right that's that's the quarter we're walking into what a really achievable steps that can get you one step further for whatever that top priority is you can focus more of your Creative Energy on that and then everything else can kind of Hold Steady

00:40:35.818 --> 00:40:48.550

and do the best you can to keep it going and there's also nothing wrong with getting home from work and decompressing and watching TV because that can be self care too but I think when you get to the point where you can maybe

00:40:48.547 --> 00:40:52.871

prioritize maybe 12 to really achievable goals

00:40:52.706 --> 00:41:04.367

break down the steps and not put pressure on yourself to go 100 at everything I think that that would really help you and if I were you that would be the approach that I would take.

00:41:04.454 --> 00:41:12.955

And we sound very similar and that is the approach that I personally take so I hope that that helps.

00:41:13.493 --> 00:41:22.687

Okay we're going to go to our next question I love having the voice notes from you all it makes me feel like a DJ I like a radio.

00:41:22.990 --> 00:41:27.296

Radio Vijay all right our next question.

00:41:27.977 --> 00:41:37.792

Hi there I hope you're doing well I just wanted to ask how do I deal with negative energy in my household I feel like every time I walk in.

00:41:38.366 --> 00:41:46.966

I'm trained by this pressure on me this feeling of not wanting to be here as much anymore.

00:41:47.287 --> 00:41:56.427

And it's pretty hard considering I live here so I just wanted to know any tips or tricks on how to cleanse my area or how to deal with.

00:41:56.992 --> 00:42:02.144

People who are not that good for your mental health but you still have to flip it.

00:42:02.924 --> 00:42:10.147

Oh honey I wish I could give you a hug and I also.

00:42:10.225 --> 00:42:16.331

I really hope that you are safe I don't want to make any assumptions.

00:42:16.338 --> 00:42:33.256

By I just want to thank you so much for submitting this question and I also really really hope that you are safe where you are I also don't know how old you are but you sound pretty young so I don't know if you know you're living with family or friends

00:42:33.091 --> 00:42:37.748

or roommates but I do I do hope

00:42:37.619 --> 00:42:49.622

pure you're safe and I also can definitely relate to what you're saying I have I've definitely had Living Spaces that had just really heavy energy

00:42:49.520 --> 00:43:04.467

there have been times where I have been living with people who have had negative energy and there have been times where I've been the person in our living space who probably is the one carrying a lot of negative energy myself I've been on both sides particularly when living with roommates.

00:43:04.734 --> 00:43:13.334

But I think you know when you do share a space is really hard to have the energies of others that don't align with your energy so I hear you.

00:43:13.673 --> 00:43:18.510

I'm not sure if you have your own room or your own space or even

00:43:18.291 --> 00:43:32.022

you know whether or not your own space is a full room her a section of a room but I really recommend tending to that space that is yours as much as you can so if you're able to you know.

00:43:32.551 --> 00:43:41.160

Have windows open at points during the day to just really let air or air circulate and get some of that energy out.

00:43:41.301 --> 00:43:44.599

I also know sweeping your space back to front

00:43:44.407 --> 00:43:53.322

it really helps kind of move that energy out and then also just really tending to your space by minimize and clutter so there are fewer kind of

00:43:53.148 --> 00:44:03.846

spaces and things for that energy to cling onto and to hide in and also you know when we did that episode on clutter a few months ago talked a lot about kind of the

00:44:03.753 --> 00:44:06.402

mental impacts of clutter and

00:44:06.255 --> 00:44:14.801

things in our space and just the heaviness of that and so if you're already in a space where they are really heavy energies there

00:44:14.636 --> 00:44:25.910

just making sure that you can kind of declutter as much as you can so that you don't then feel anxious and overwhelmed by stuff on top of that can hopefully help

00:44:25.835 --> 00:44:28.467

bring a bit of clarity.

00:44:29.112 --> 00:44:43.906

Also when I've had difficult living situations those were the times I really went all in on my mindfulness practices because when we share space with other people it is so hard to kind of practice quality control

00:44:43.786 --> 00:44:53.745

the energies in that space But the space that you hold within yourself can still be as peaceful as possible while you're in this living situation because it's not forever and

00:44:53.724 --> 00:45:06.753

at some point you know I really really hope that you were able to get into a living situation that works better for you and is more aligned with you but the space that you have within yourself is truly the only thing that you can.

00:45:06.849 --> 00:45:14.126

Control and so really giving yourself time to find a sense of centered and calm from where.

00:45:14.186 --> 00:45:23.074

As best as you can to keep yourself as grounded as possible and find that sense of safety and groundedness and rootedness

00:45:22.865 --> 00:45:36.875

as possible can be really really helpful while you're still in this living situation until you are able to move into a different living situation depending on you know how old you are and where you're at

00:45:36.764 --> 00:45:39.161

and what your circumstances are

00:45:38.997 --> 00:45:55.924

and then also depending on the situation and depending on the relationship that you have with the people you live with and could also try starting to initiate conversations about it just about some of the ways that you have been feeling and some of the ways that you have

00:45:55.750 --> 00:46:00.443

been impacted if you think that you know that.

00:46:00.458 --> 00:46:14.558

Could lead to a productive conversation and if not that's okay definitely don't have to but it is a suggestion to just start thinking through maybe we use that you can talk about that with the people you live with so that you can kind of move forward together.

00:46:14.655 --> 00:46:24.326

If that seems like it could be well-received but if not I would really really focus on tending to the areas of the space that are yours so just keep it as.

00:46:24.395 --> 00:46:31.456

Clean and as clear as possible and really dialing in on your mindfulness practices to.

00:46:32.209 --> 00:46:40.044

To really find that sense of groundedness and sense of safety within your self.

00:46:40.464 --> 00:46:47.371

There are also practices indigenous practices such as smudging you know a lot of people will

00:46:47.207 --> 00:46:56.527

burn things like Sage although I don't believe that that is necessarily recommended because it is often not harvested sustainably or ethically.

00:46:57.154 --> 00:47:11.858

But if you wanted to do a smudging ritual you could also use very simple herbs such as bay leaf or Rosemary I want you to be careful though I don't want to encourage anybody to like get willy-nilly with lighting things on fire

00:47:11.666 --> 00:47:14.693

so be very careful with that take a grain of salt.

00:47:15.222 --> 00:47:30.610

And then there are also smudging sprays so that are usually infused with things like Sage that can really clear the energy of a space if you wanted to go a more kind of sustainable or ethical route because opposed to buying

00:47:30.427 --> 00:47:39.432

you know the sage from some of those not so Savory sources so those are also some practices that you can try to really clear the space if you do use

00:47:39.222 --> 00:47:48.200

smudging or were to smudge some herbs definitely make sure you have the windows open so that those energies can leave the space is very important

00:47:48.071 --> 00:47:59.714

but that is that is what I would recommend but thank you so much for submitting the question I'm sending you so much love I'm sending you virtual hugs and I really hope.

00:47:59.945 --> 00:48:09.850

Things get better

okay so we have one more voice note that we are going to feature

00:48:09.830 --> 00:48:18.367

for today before we get into the questions that were submitted via Instagram so let's get into this last voice note.

00:48:19.417 --> 00:48:33.292

This is Jasmine I am an aspiring podcast and myself and I just want to tell you thank you so much for the work that you've done on your podcast has been nothing but life-changing inspirational since I've come across it you are amazing you are inspirational and

00:48:33.118 --> 00:48:37.451

I just aspire to be so much like you and so many ways and.

00:48:37.557 --> 00:48:46.670

I just wanted to tell you thank you for all the work that you've been putting in because it just really blesses my heart to know that there are people who think like me

00:48:46.622 --> 00:49:00.119

to hear from my older sister like figure almost it's just very very very comforting trying to figure out everything I'm 22 years old still figuring everything out and I feel like you speak on a lot of things that I can relate to

00:49:00.008 --> 00:49:02.622

but with that being said I just wanted to ask you

00:49:02.592 --> 00:49:15.990

as an aspiring podcaster I just started my podcast and I've been getting little wins and little successes and it just dawned on me that I don't really know what I would do if I really did get successful feel like it will be really overwhelming and

00:49:15.897 --> 00:49:19.087

this package is really to help me now live in fear anymore

00:49:18.949 --> 00:49:32.761

operate a anymore I should say so I just want to ask you like how did you deal with the success like how did you not let it over because overcoming overwhelming excuse me in cause you to be egotistical even like how did you navigate that so.

00:49:32.821 --> 00:49:34.391

Thank you bye.

00:49:34.964 --> 00:49:48.083

Jasmine thank you what a lovely lovely message to receive I appreciate you I think you are amazing I'm honored to have you as an honorary little sister

00:49:47.900 --> 00:49:54.340

and my goodness I mean a 22 you're already you're already so why is and

00:49:54.202 --> 00:50:07.168

you're still so young there are there's so much to discover there's so much in front of you that you will continue learning I mean I'm 10 years older than you and I feel like the older I get.

00:50:07.210 --> 00:50:20.455

The more I realized oh I don't know things and that's that's okay that's a good thing I get excited to learn and so I'm really excited for you as you continue navigating adulthood to embark on your own

00:50:20.290 --> 00:50:26.577

journey of that of discovery of self-discovery and

00:50:26.403 --> 00:50:33.086

continuing to share your wisdom with others so congratulations on launching your podcast.

00:50:33.110 --> 00:50:41.421

I love it and I love that you launched it to help move yourself through fear I just think that is incredible so.

00:50:41.590 --> 00:50:50.397

Huge kudos to you and I just I love love love to hear that love to hear that you took the action to do that and I'm so proud of you.

00:50:50.736 --> 00:50:51.630

So

00:50:51.474 --> 00:51:03.567

I would love to talk a little bit more about about your question I am excited to hear that your podcast is picking up traction and you are getting those wins that is amazing and I love that you're thinking about

00:51:03.555 --> 00:51:11.327

how to prepare yourself for incoming success I think that's really important and

00:51:11.297 --> 00:51:23.885

I talked about this a little bit a couple weeks ago and my solo episode about being patient while waiting for manifestations to come in kind of using that time as preparation although I realize that episode came out

00:51:23.819 --> 00:51:25.280

after.

00:51:25.710 --> 00:51:39.450

You submitted this question so you may have listened to that episode already and gotten some some takeaways it's very possible but I love that you are thinking about ways to really prepare yourself for this upcoming Journey.

00:51:39.672 --> 00:51:56.383

And I think for everyone's platform it's a little bit different you know as I've grown this podcast it has happened very gradually so there wasn't necessarily a moment where it was like one day I had nobody listening and then the next day it was a ton of people it was

00:51:56.201 --> 00:51:57.221

every week

00:51:57.218 --> 00:52:07.231

a few more in a few more and a few more until you know kind of where it is now and it still isn't that stage it's still very Scrappy I definitely would not say that

00:52:07.147 --> 00:52:10.085

this is like the Pinnacle of

00:52:09.992 --> 00:52:19.915

podcasting success by any means but I think as an up-and-coming public figure something that I would really recommend you start thinking about

00:52:19.859 --> 00:52:27.819

we just be understanding the ways in which you're okay with people having access to you so for me that is.

00:52:27.997 --> 00:52:39.828

What I felt to be kind of the most overwhelming part as people find your work and get acclimated to you is just how many people have access to you and how that feels

00:52:39.691 --> 00:52:46.346

energetically sometimes that can be a little bit overwhelming when I first started podcasting.

00:52:46.370 --> 00:52:50.334

I just had this like Pollyanna.

00:52:50.340 --> 00:53:02.163

It was truly one of the happiest times in my life the happiest and also the hardest during that time I was going through a lot of personal turmoil but I was so excited about this idea I was so excited about this podcast.

00:53:02.223 --> 00:53:11.021

I knew exactly what I wanted to say I knew exactly who I wanted to say it too and I just felt so moved by that message that I just

00:53:10.847 --> 00:53:13.659

put my all into it and

00:53:13.557 --> 00:53:25.803

while I'm so grateful to have grown it to be what it is today I really think about that time when I first started so fondly because during that time I've felt so Fearless.

00:53:25.863 --> 00:53:36.120

There is a fearlessness that you can kind of have when fewer people are listening like when it was just my mom and a handful of my friends

00:53:36.027 --> 00:53:47.345

I felt pretty fearless and then as more people start listening and you know a platform gets more attention you do start becoming a little bit more conscious of oh.

00:53:47.946 --> 00:54:03.252

I'm being perceived by people I'm being perceived by people who don't know me and things can be taken out of context and now people have access to me in all of these different ways and so that is the part that at least for me has felt

00:54:03.025 --> 00:54:04.504

overwhelming.

00:54:04.861 --> 00:54:18.403

When I started this podcast it was because I truly wanted to help my intention was to truly create a space for black women to have conversations that didn't feel accessible to me.

00:54:18.418 --> 00:54:30.295

At that time and I wanted to create a space where those conversations were being had I wanted to further my Wellness Journey being a wellness student learning from people who understood my lived.

00:54:30.517 --> 00:54:35.850

Experience and so the intention of that truly was to help and so

00:54:35.784 --> 00:54:44.249

also when you grow and sometimes you know things don't land for people or things don't resonate in like you know that you have a heart to help but maybe

00:54:44.138 --> 00:54:54.097

that just doesn't resonate for some people or it just isn't what they need feeling like you let people down can be really really hard and something that I've struggled with is

00:54:54.058 --> 00:54:57.662

hiding a lot and I've talked a lot about this recently.

00:54:57.713 --> 00:55:08.312

Particularly around the new artwork I had a lot of back-and-forth about the new podcast artwork of whether to put my photo on it or not back when I first started the podcast I had a janky artwork

00:55:08.246 --> 00:55:15.802

Genki artwork that I created in canva okay going all the way back to like question number two just start I just put it out there.

00:55:15.862 --> 00:55:23.310

I didn't care that my photo was on it because I honestly didn't think that anybody was really going to listen if we're being totally honest

00:55:23.217 --> 00:55:37.461

I don't know if I really thought people were truly going to listen to the podcast and then as it started growing I started having a lot of insecurity around being perceived and around being like well what if people think that I don't represent them well or what if people

00:55:37.269 --> 00:55:51.199

I think that because I present myself a certain way that that means that balance black girl is only for XYZ even though that's not my intention so I started pulling myself out of it I stopped doing solo episodes for a really long time.

00:55:51.205 --> 00:55:55.916

Took myself off the artwork and had a little bit more of an anonymous.

00:55:55.976 --> 00:56:05.539

Situation happening if you were to just stumble across the podcast and maybe didn't know my socials it was kind of an anonymous situation and

00:56:05.455 --> 00:56:06.520

I

00:56:06.455 --> 00:56:16.288

realized that I was doing myself and this platform a disservice by hiding in that way because I know what my intentions are I know that I have a heart to help.

00:56:16.726 --> 00:56:25.065

I cannot make everybody happy but hiding from the work that I'm creating is not doing anybody.

00:56:25.143 --> 00:56:39.109

Any favors and so I'm slowly coming around to putting more of myself in this work and that also relates to what I was saying earlier about just the humor and showing up and bringing a little bit more of my own personality into it but.

00:56:39.232 --> 00:56:40.738

All of that to say

00:56:40.510 --> 00:56:56.996

thinking about you as you are an up-and-coming podcaster I just really want you to think about the ways in which you are comfortable with having people have access to you and I want you to think about what your boundaries are in terms of what you're comfortable sharing what you're not comfortable sharing

00:56:56.930 --> 00:57:09.879

you know what opinions are you comfortable putting out there what opinions do you maybe hold but the do you want to keep to yourself and you can kind of do reflection based off of that comfort that works for you and I think that

00:57:09.678 --> 00:57:13.767

your answers to those questions and your comfort will evolve over time.

00:57:14.116 --> 00:57:30.107

Because you will evolve we all evolve so much but with you being 22 I mean I think the rest of your 20s is such a time for evolution and we're all always evolving I promise evolving doesn't stop once you're in your 30s but your 20s is like so many quick

00:57:29.888 --> 00:57:41.359

Evolutions in a very condensed time which is why the 20s can feel very challenging so you're going to revolve and your approach that you take to this is going to change and I think just really allowing it to

00:57:41.167 --> 00:57:45.149

grow and breathe with you it's going to be really important

00:57:45.011 --> 00:57:53.476

and I also really loved the last part of your question just about Eco I just think that that's super interesting and good to be mindful of

00:57:53.411 --> 00:57:55.844

I'll be honest I have probably had.

00:57:55.859 --> 00:58:03.865

Opposite problem I have a tendency to be very hard on myself and I actually think that as the podcast has grown I get

00:58:03.682 --> 00:58:14.866

even harder on myself because I feel like the expectations are higher so I don't know if I've necessarily felt like oh certain number of people listen to my podcast that means that

00:58:14.827 --> 00:58:16.567

I can't be told

00:58:16.465 --> 00:58:33.249

nothing like I've almost honestly felt the opposite I felt like oh my gosh now there's more people here and I have this duty to be even better and to deliver better and to make everything better and it's actually caused me to put a lot of pressure on myself and I don't recommend that

00:58:33.057 --> 00:58:39.163

either I don't think either end of the spectrum is ideal I think finding that

00:58:39.142 --> 00:58:49.075

no pun intended balance and being really grounded and firmly rooted where you are is important when you're in that growth stage being

00:58:48.883 --> 00:58:59.139

fully present and enjoying that growth in those wins when you see a few more people listen every week and how exciting that is it's so exciting and when you reach a point

00:58:59.136 --> 00:59:11.310

of growth and you have maybe grown a consistent audience being really rooted in that and feeling connected to that audience and being proud of that but also remembering to approach it with a sense of humility.

00:59:11.496 --> 00:59:16.117

It's really important to do and so whether that is you know

00:59:15.916 --> 00:59:28.153

thinking of the people that you want to help can keep you grounded I know that definitely keeps me grounded you know when I get messages from you all about the waves of the podcast has helped you it reminds me to stay.

00:59:28.186 --> 00:59:41.161

Grounded in why I do this you know having your friends and loved ones and ready to reel you in if it does feel needed can go a really long way in keeping creatives grounded but I would

00:59:41.051 --> 00:59:48.012

urge you to not go the route I did of being too hard on yourself as things grow and

00:59:47.910 --> 01:00:02.128

really letting yourself take up space along with your platform because you deserve it and you can take up space and you can own that and you can be proud of the work that you do and you can do that with humility and both of those things

01:00:01.918 --> 01:00:05.279

can exist at the same time.

01:00:05.447 --> 01:00:16.270

So thank you so much Jasmine again for the the kind words and for the really thoughtful question I really appreciate you sending it in and I wish you.

01:00:16.304 --> 01:00:25.633

Best of luck with your podcast I'm so so proud of you for putting it out into the world and I'm so excited to hear that you are growing and experiencing

01:00:25.531 --> 01:00:26.650

wins.

01:00:29.015 --> 01:00:40.316

Alright so that was the last voice no question there are just a handful of questions that I have chosen from what was submitted to me via Instagram.

01:00:40.394 --> 01:00:47.319

Which I love that to some y'all are like listen less will lead the podcasting to you but I still got this question.

01:00:47.595 --> 01:00:53.657

And I love it I'm here for it listen I appreciate it so as for the written questions.

01:00:54.095 --> 01:01:02.101

The first question was how do you recognize and process your limiting beliefs which I think is such a great question.

01:01:02.422 --> 01:01:09.942

I will be fully honest in my current season of life I don't know if I think about limiting beliefs

01:01:09.849 --> 01:01:17.099

super often I think just because I have so much practice identifying them I'm able to kind of identify them and.

01:01:17.546 --> 01:01:25.642

Act accordingly and adjust pretty quickly but I think if you're still becoming familiar with the concept of a limiting belief.

01:01:25.702 --> 01:01:40.063

Amar you have concerns or feeling particularly held back by limiting beliefs I think that your journaling practice can be a really great way to explore that and when I was beginning to understand limiting beliefs that was really what I use to explore so

01:01:39.935 --> 01:01:47.445

when I found that I was having limiting beliefs come up I would write down the scenario what was the belief that was happening

01:01:47.443 --> 01:01:54.008

are there any that have been recurring that I can recognize if I'm looking through my journal have I been writing about the same fear.

01:01:54.266 --> 01:02:05.846

Day after day or every couple of days what are the patterns here were there certain things that triggered them so if you notice that you have limiting belief come up does it happen at work does it happen

01:02:05.690 --> 01:02:11.950

in your relationships that happen on a certain project what is triggering that limiting belief.

01:02:12.109 --> 01:02:21.591

And from there can you identify the root cause and I think just asking yourself those questions I like to do it in my journal because I like to process things by writing them down.

01:02:21.606 --> 01:02:31.196

Answering those questions for yourself and continuing to reflect on that each time you feel those limiting beliefs come up can be a really good way to

01:02:31.022 --> 01:02:39.686

recognize and process and to also remember that limiting beliefs are your brain trying to keep you safe

01:02:39.683 --> 01:02:47.527

it is your brain trying to keep you safe it's saying actually we maybe did a version of this and I didn't like how that turned out last time.

01:02:47.578 --> 01:02:59.230

So I'm going to keep you exactly where you are because I don't want you to get hurt and while that's great for maybe keeping you safe for like the psychological you know threat that your brain perceives.

01:02:59.263 --> 01:03:09.699

Always the best for growth so also really looking at ways you can remind yourself that you are safe that it is okay to take the step that it is okay to take this risk

01:03:09.687 --> 01:03:15.613

can also be really helpful for helping you move past those limiting beliefs once you recognize them.

01:03:16.880 --> 01:03:22.698

The next question I got was high less how do you honor yourself.

01:03:22.777 --> 01:03:30.431

I love this question so lately I've been honoring Myself by giving myself time to turn off my brain more so

01:03:30.401 --> 01:03:34.176

on Instagram I've been sharing the romance novels that I've been reading

01:03:34.092 --> 01:03:43.331

if you follow my me on Instagram you can check it out actually have a highlight on my profile called books and there I am documenting all of the books that I'm reading this year.

01:03:43.428 --> 01:03:52.145

I know there are so many apps that can do that and you can rate things and that's great but like that's a little bit more work than.

01:03:52.223 --> 01:03:59.410

I'm willing to do right now for me it's easier to just post an IG story with my little thoughts on the book

01:03:59.398 --> 01:04:08.988

add it to the highlight and move on to the next but I realized my whole adult life I've been solely reading business or self-help

01:04:08.958 --> 01:04:15.884

books that were not only dry and boring and kind of hard to get through.

01:04:16.160 --> 01:04:24.922

But I just didn't enjoy them and it was taking me forever to read these books I mean I was reading maybe four books a year because it was take all quarter it would take

01:04:24.703 --> 01:04:31.035

take me to get through this dry book that I just wasn't that interested in but I was reading it because some successful

01:04:30.816 --> 01:04:38.038

white dude read it and recommended it or whatever and so finally I just was like you know know.

01:04:38.252 --> 01:04:49.759

I'm not into this I've tap back into my love of reading from when I was younger and I've been reading fiction largely romance novels and it has honestly been so.

01:04:49.873 --> 01:05:01.849

Healing I've just been getting lost in a story doesn't have to be productive I don't have to gain a strategy or a tip or a tactic I can just enjoy

01:05:01.837 --> 01:05:12.301

the story and that has been a way that I've been honoring myself lately it's been so much fun and has really helped me just feel more calm and centered and

01:05:12.226 --> 01:05:18.098

it's just has been such a nourishing practice I'm telling you romance novels are.

01:05:18.636 --> 01:05:26.542

It they're so fun to read they can get a little spicy too but you know I'm here for a good time.

01:05:26.918 --> 01:05:35.446

I hope my 15 year old friend isn't isn't listening to that part

I've also been honoring Myself by acknowledging my own limits more.

01:05:35.695 --> 01:05:43.116

It's not in a limiting beliefs kind of way we just talked about that but in a girl you can only do so much kind of way

01:05:43.041 --> 01:05:46.735

as I talked about in the intro

01:05:46.597 --> 01:05:59.932

I've been experiencing a lot of challenges in my business I have I just have had a lot of disappointments I've had a lot of obstacles I've come against it has just it's been

01:05:59.776 --> 01:06:07.827

challenging and I know that I will get through those challenges but I'm realizing that I can only do so much that

01:06:07.815 --> 01:06:21.267

only do so much without help and I can only do so much on my own and recently I was talking to a friend and they encouraged me to ask the question what would I do if my choices were only affecting me.

01:06:21.796 --> 01:06:33.357

So I've been asking myself that a lot more and it's really helping me find my footing with these challenges and I'm going through in my business because I realized my business was so focused on other.

01:06:33.382 --> 01:06:44.889

And the audience and who am I helping and what am I delivering and adding value but I'm also forgetting to add value to myself and if it's creating stress and if it's creating

01:06:44.697 --> 01:06:52.703

just this angst and all of these feelings that's not adding value to me and if it were only affecting me.

01:06:53.583 --> 01:07:06.414

I wouldn't be doing any of it if I'm being totally honest and so it doesn't mean that I'm going to stop but it means that I'm going to approach it differently that I'm understanding my limits and that I'm getting more comfortable asking for help so

01:07:06.411 --> 01:07:11.347

romance novels and doing fewer things are how I'm honoring myself.

01:07:12.784 --> 01:07:18.342

The next question is what are helpful apps that can help you with rituals.

01:07:18.366 --> 01:07:23.806

Love the word choice of rituals y'all know if you listen to reframing the reset you know I love a ritual.

01:07:24.262 --> 01:07:29.504

I'll be honest I'm not a big app girl I mean I think it depends on what.

01:07:29.601 --> 01:07:39.416

Rituals you are looking to implement I love a pen and a piece of paper my journal is the best tool that I have

01:07:39.215 --> 01:07:46.357

for writing down my thoughts writing down my prayers writing down my affirmations my gratitude my brain dumps so that

01:07:46.219 --> 01:07:57.520

you know I can have less stuff floating around in my head that has been my most significant ritual but now that I think about it if I were to look at some of my other rituals movement

01:07:57.310 --> 01:08:03.371

and note taking and stuff like that I do use some apps so I would say my favorite

01:08:03.332 --> 01:08:13.877

meditation apps or apps for my meditation rituals would be insight timer I love insight timer because there's so many free meditations there and.

01:08:13.973 --> 01:08:21.600

Their teachers are just amazing there's so many teachers are so many black women teachers new meditations being added every day

01:08:21.544 --> 01:08:35.122

thousands of meditations available on the free version of insight timer so that's the one that I reach for the most headspace is also great if you live in Los Angeles or LA County.

01:08:35.227 --> 01:08:50.831

I think they're still doing this but LA County residents can actually get a free headspace membership if you Google like LA county headspace or if I find the link I'll put it in the show notes you can get a comped subscription

01:08:50.621 --> 01:08:54.567

to headspace as well so headspace is also a great.

01:08:55.140 --> 01:09:04.659

For meditations when I'm thinking about workouts and movement because that's another important ritual for me I really like the Peloton app for yoga.

01:09:05.016 --> 01:09:11.923

Just really really great I don't pay for that I have a friend who has a Peloton and she let me set up an account

01:09:11.866 --> 01:09:20.575

on her app so if you have a friend who has Peloton who has some room on their account you can do that and I do it from my phone I set it up on my TV

01:09:20.347 --> 01:09:28.037

and it's great I love the yoga classes they're specifically I'm not I'm not a huge stationary bike girl but then.

01:09:28.134 --> 01:09:31.845

For strength training and pilates I really love the obey

01:09:31.689 --> 01:09:44.583

fitness app they just have a really really great mat Pilates classes Pilates has really been my jam lately in terms of movement because it just feels really healing and nourishing there's

01:09:44.437 --> 01:09:47.257

and instructor on obey

01:09:47.182 --> 01:09:55.729

named Marcia and I'm obsessed with her usually every Friday morning I take my mat Pilates class with Marcia on obey.

01:09:55.789 --> 01:10:07.269

And she's amazing and I'm obsessed with her and she cracks me up so OB Fitness is great for that and then for all of my goal setting finances projects

01:10:07.041 --> 01:10:16.451

business because I also see that as ritual I kind of see everything we do as ritual I use notion I use notion for all of that and I

01:10:16.296 --> 01:10:26.318

absolutely love it I plan to come out with some notion templates for you all later this year may be a shared notion Hub with some of my favorite template so I'm working on that I just

01:10:26.234 --> 01:10:31.459

realize that all of my stuff just has all my personal information all up in it and I

01:10:31.348 --> 01:10:40.883

I just haven't had time to clean it up and make templates out of it but I will be sharing those so that you can get into notion as well because I just think it's amazing tool.

01:10:40.944 --> 01:10:46.384

So that's what I would say insight timer headspace obey fitness app.

01:10:46.489 --> 01:10:54.468

Peloton app and notion are some of my favorites and then if you have an iPhone something else that you can do that I

01:10:54.375 --> 01:11:07.495

absolutely love would be the new do not disturb setting so I have different do not disturb settings for my morning routine and it makes me only apps that are available to me my meditation apps and my workout apps I have a deep work

01:11:07.402 --> 01:11:17.388

do not disturb and I basically just turn off all of my apps so when I really need to focus I then turn off my notifications and I can't access any of my apps so that's not

01:11:17.223 --> 01:11:27.164

necessarily a particular app but I found that it's really helped me be focused with my rituals by only giving me access on my phone to the things I need when I need them.

01:11:27.189 --> 01:11:31.666

So I highly recommend doing that if you have an iPhone.

01:11:33.337 --> 01:11:38.138

All right we have one last question.

01:11:38.315 --> 01:11:52.884

And this might be my favorite question because it is my favorite thing to talk about and that last question is how do you stay committed to your Wellness rituals on the days when you don't feel like it that is a great question.

01:11:53.016 --> 01:12:02.796

So a lot of my Wellness rituals I have been doing for so long that they truly feel like second nature however there are some things

01:12:02.577 --> 01:12:15.867

even though I've been doing them for so long I still don't feel like doing it and for me movement is probably one of those things even as much as I love working out as much as I love moving my body as much as I love going for walks I still have

01:12:15.801 --> 01:12:22.276

convince myself to get up and do it very often I have to kind of coax myself into it

01:12:22.256 --> 01:12:30.288

I found that really automating these behaviors as much as you can can really help I don't know if you read Atomic habits yet but

01:12:30.250 --> 01:12:38.831

that was where I learned about the Habit Loop which is really really helpful for making those behaviors automatic so the habit Loop

01:12:38.739 --> 01:12:46.384

is essentially when you have a queue or it's like a visual trigger that reminds you of the action you want to take

01:12:46.202 --> 01:12:53.874

when you see that Q or that trigger you do the action and then after you do the action you give yourself some sort of

01:12:53.736 --> 01:13:00.887

report so that could mean if you're trying to implement a movement practice maybe you have a goal of

01:13:00.857 --> 01:13:07.738

intentional movement five days a week so maybe your queue for that would be setting out your workout clothes the night before.

01:13:07.807 --> 01:13:22.358

When you wake up in the morning and you see those workout clothes that's your cue triggers you to put on your workout clothes which tells your brain it's time to start exercising you do the exercise and let's say you for one week get all 5 days of your movement

01:13:22.166 --> 01:13:29.956

in then you would give yourself some sort of reward some sort of incentive that you would really appreciate to kind of reinforce.

01:13:30.178 --> 01:13:37.013

Behavior that's just an example of how you could use the Habit Loop to start to make those behaviors more automatic.

01:13:37.208 --> 01:13:46.033

The other thing I would say is what is one super low hanging fruit practice that you can do each and every day that's

01:13:45.905 --> 01:13:56.962

truly a non-negotiable but that is not going to require a ton of effort so for me that's meditating and reading there are some days I don't feel like working out and I just

01:13:56.833 --> 01:14:00.923

and there is some days I don't feel like going for a walk and I

01:14:00.794 --> 01:14:12.581

just don't but each and every day because meditating and reading or something that I can do with very low energy those are like my non-negotiables I still aim to do every

01:14:12.533 --> 01:14:18.496

day so I also recommend identifying what are some of those low energy Wellness rituals that you can do

01:14:18.439 --> 01:14:28.353

even when your energy is low so that you still feel taken care of you still don't feel like you're forcing yourself to do something you don't want to do but you are still getting some of that good care.

01:14:29.611 --> 01:14:36.446

So I hope that helps let me know if that wasn't clear I realized I explained the habit

01:14:36.425 --> 01:14:52.470

Loop portion kind of quickly I can also maybe do something on social media to talk about it a little bit more maybe something visual that might be more helpful than hearing it but I think just starting with one low-energy practice that is like a non-negotiable it's a great way to start and then

01:14:52.287 --> 01:14:54.000

building from there.

01:14:54.655 --> 01:15:04.479

All right those were all of the questions I got today this was a long episode

01:15:04.440 --> 01:15:17.497

I didn't realize how long this episode was but I love to getting to hear your questions I loved getting to talk directly to you thank you so much for your support thank you for

01:15:17.386 --> 01:15:23.699

being a part of this community and for holding me up the way you do

01:15:23.471 --> 01:15:36.788

young truly are the reason I have done this for so long and regardless of what the future holds just know that I love and appreciate each and every one of you and your support

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so so much.

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So next week we are beginning our new life series all about bringing new life into the world all about bringing new ideas into the world we're talking about fertility we're talking about motherhood we're talking about ways that we can support

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the people in our Lives who are having children and bringing life into the world we're talking about

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birthing new ideas into the world reproductive health so many important topics to touch on so

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if you are not subscribed please make sure that you subscribe on a podcast Spotify Stitcher wherever you listen so that you don't miss.

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These conversations it's the most important.

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Music.

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Ready make sure you leave a rating and improve you if you enjoyed this podcast thank you so much for listening I love you I appreciate you and I'll talk to you next week.

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Music.