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The Houses That Cried

2012, European Journal of Life Writing

Abstract

This essay revisits physically and metaphysically the houses of my childhood, in an attempt to discover and recover a sense of self from the architecture of my past. from suburban houses in the eastern and South Western suburbs of Sydney, to the gothic turrets of Dalwood Children's home on the northern Beaches (which, in the 1930s and 1940s was advertised as 'The house on happiness hill') and to a foster home now found to have a Child Safety house sign on the front veranda, the discrepancies of time and memory are conjured up in narrative, and hand-drawn image and photography. Born in Sydney in 1940, i was abandoned at three years of age into a Children's home and am now known as a "forgotten australian". The houSeS ThaT CrieD one golden day in a late winter, i picked up my aunt in the car, bought two red "poppa Mia" roses, and drove south to see my father. i wrapped my arms around the potted roses, and looked at his newly erected headstone. engraved in gold on the dark green slab of polished granite, in Times new roman, were my two siblings' names. Mine stood out in its absence. The roses slipped from my hands. My aunt, my father's sister, put her arms around me. You're my niece, but … there was something-about your mother. She searched her memory. I've forgotten a lot. i drove her home to the Central Coast and drank tea while she looked in the family fruit box and wrote on perfumed notepaper. She handed me the folded paper. Here you go. Names and places from your father's side. That's all I've got. During holidays, i travelled from Bathurst to Wellington, to guyra,