Living with Suffering: Buddhist Wisdom Illustrated by a Widow

Journal of Nursing Scholarship, 2019

Purpose: To describe the meanings of the lived experiences of grieving of Thai Buddhist husbands who had lost their wives from critical illnesses. Design: Hermeneutic phenomenological approach using van Manen's concepts. Seven husbands from southern Thailand who met the inclusion criteria participated in the study. Methods: Individual in-depth interviews were conducted and recorded on tape, while the interview data were transcribed and analyzed following van Manen's phenomenological approach. Trustworthiness was established using Lincoln and Guba's criteria. Findings: Five thematic categories described the meanings of the experiences, which were reflective of the four lived worlds of body, relation, space, and time. The lived world of body was "loss of thoughtful focus and energy," the lived world of relation was characterized by "surrendering attachment with the deceased" and "attachment to the children," the lived space reflected "social connection," and lived time was "healing time." Conclusions: The grief experience did not seem to be complicated, and the hoped-for experience was being healed through surrendering attachment with the deceased while maintaining attachment with children and social connection. The model of grieving may contribute to the knowledge of nursing care processes, specifically in palliative and end-of-life care, and other care processes for healthcare professionals. Clinical Relevance: Hospital administrators can clearly support a bereavement service to provide a continuum of after-death care for Buddhist males. Nurses and healthcare providers can develop a bereavement care process by valuing the religious principles integrating social interaction for male bereaved husbands.

Academia Letters, 2021

Grief theorists, in keeping with Western culture's emphasis on autonomy and individuation as signposts of psychological health, have long held that disengaging from the deceased is necessary for the successful resolution of grief (Marwit & Klass, 1995). For example, according to the psychoanalytic view of Freud (1917), grief work entails decathecting, or detaching libidinal energy from the deceased. Furthermore, the attachment theory of Bowlby (1969) posits that the bereaved individual attempts to maintain a bond to the deceased until he or she realizes the impossibility of doing so, and eventually "lets go" of his or her relationship to the deceased. The predominant beliefs in the importance of disengaging and letting go in resolving grief have been gradually giving way to the concept that continued attachment to the deceased loved one is a healthy and necessary task of the grief process (Silverman & Klass, 1996). The work of Worden (1981, 1992, 2002) can be seen as a bridge between the majority view of theorists beginning with Freud and the more contemporary view of the importance of continuing bonds. Worden originally described one of the major tasks of mourning as "withdrawing emotional energy from the deceased and reinvesting it in another relationship" (1981, p. 13), in keeping with the goal of decathexis described by Freud. Significantly, in subsequent editions of his work (1992, 2002), Worden acknowledged that the bereaved do not in actuality decathect from the deceased. Accordingly, Worden now describes this task as "emotionally relocating the deceased and moving on with life" and suggests that finding a place for the deceased in the life of the bereaved "will enable the mourner to be connected with the deceased but in a way that will not preclude him or her from going on with life" (2002, p. 35). My approach to grief counseling is strength-based and solution focused. Narrative therapy, a relatively new model of cognitive therapy (Carr, 1998), is in accord with this focus. Narrative therapy has been found to be useful for helping clients access continued attachment

As it is discussed in the Roga Sutta of the Aṅguttaranikāya, it is immensely impossible to be a perfect mentally healthy person except an Arahant, one who has reached the highest mental and spiritual development. Enlightened beings who have not yet reached liberation are confronted with very subtle mental distortions. Nevertheless, average people are having various mental problems minute by minute. In this comprehensive analysis on mental problems, grief (soka) is understood in Buddhist discourses as natural phenomenon faced by every average person. In this paper, it is understood with the help of elucidation of Suttas like Piyajālika, Sokasallaharaṇa, and Saccavibhaṅga in which the death of beloved ones is explained as the main cause of grief. In this context, the Buddha, played his role as a great Psychotherapist, has shown how to overcome such grief. The elements of Buddhist Grief Management Techniques scattered throughout Suttas are presented here in a systematic manner with the aim of drawing the attention of professionals who work in the related areas of grief into valuable discussion of several Buddhist discourses that could be adopted to develop the field.

2017

Death anxiety devastates emotional well-being and may produce suicidal ideations, thus lowering life satisfaction. Although much literature suggests that religion reduces this fear, their direct correlation remains controversial. The present case study investigates how a Buddhist perceives life and death, and how she copes with death anxiety through Buddhist teachings and practices. Using multiple first-hand sources, it analyses data through an interpretative phenomenological analysis. It also adopts peer analysis to increase academic rigour, attaining an inter-rater reliability of 93%. Findings reveal that the law of dependent origination, karma, cause-and-effect, and the cycle of life and rebirth expound on the phenomenal reality, giving hope, and producing peace when facing death. Despite the fact that a single case does not aim at generalisation, research outcomes shed light on helping professionals who equip themselves with a wider range of worldviews and life views in order to enhance their professional skills.

Death Studies, 1997

This article is a contribution to the cross-cultural study of grief. The Bardo-thodol (sometimes translated the Tibetan Book of the Dead) and the ritual associated with it provides a way to understand how Buddhism in Tibetan culture manages the issues associated with what is called grief in Western psychology. The resolution of grief in the survivors is intertwined with the journey to rebirth of the deceased. The present article describes (a) the progression of the deceased, (b) the rituals by which survivors separate from the physical incarnation of the deceased, (c) how, by channeling the feelings of grief to support the progress of the deceased, grief is brought to a positive resolution, and (d) the continuing bond survivors maintain with the dead even though the dead has moved on to the next life.

The International Journal of Aging and Human Development, 2013

This study is based on original research that explored family reaction to the death of an elderly husband and father. We interviewed 34 families (a family included a widow and two adult biological children) approximately 6 to 10 months after the death. In one-on-one interviews, we discussed family members' initial reaction to the death, how the family is coping with the loss, and the changes that occurred in family relationships. In this article we focus on family solidarity after the loved one's death and discuss one extended case from the larger study. In reviewing our data, we find that a Zen perspective is useful in understanding the effect of the death on family relationships because this perspective incorporates a focus on the paradoxes of life and death. As death forces the family into the “present in its fullness,” the contradictions of intimacy and distance, past and future, and life and death, emerge. Members of the family explore existential questions about life, ...

Religions, 2021

This paper explores how conceptions of death and the ways in which such conceptions shape responses to death determine ways of living as well as valued approaches to dying. The paper posits the question: can a fundamental understanding of death contribute to the development of adaptive social traits that lead to more sustainable phenomenological experiences of happiness and flourishing? Employing an anthropological lens, this work starts from the initial inquiry of “what is death?” by looking at cross-cultural historical and theoretical accounts of death and comparing the modern (medicalized) death to the Tibetan Buddhist notion of death. The paper presents conceptions of death in Tibetan Buddhist culture, paying particular attention to how death is employed as an adaptive cultural tool in pursuance of positive behavioral changes and happiness at both individual and societal levels...

The current pilot study examines how two women are dealing with divorce through Buddhist teachings. It has been conducted by means of face-to-face, in-depth interviews, together with visual art, and various levels of triangulation for enriching data and enhancing trustworthiness. The emerging data (grouped into nine emergent themes and three super-ordinate themes) indicate that Buddhist philosophy has inspired the informants not to harbour anger towards their ex-spouses, but to accept life changes, and convert their crises into self transcendence by means of the bodhisattva path of serving other people, which gives meaning to their distress. Although this cross-case project involves a small sample size, the research outcomes offer insight into divorced spouses and human service practitioners dealing with their own stressful challenges or with clients who have gone through divorce. Equally significant, the present study exhibits the applicability and practicality of Buddhist philosophy in contemporary contexts.

LIT Verlag, 2023

In September 2021, the author of this chapter, a gestalt therapy professor and Zen meditator, facilitated the workshop ‘Buddhist Practices and Gestalt Therapy’. One subject emerged quite organically, and unplanned: Death. The author describes and reflects upon the exploration of the phenomenon of death and in particular how he approached this as a Buddhist-informed gestalt therapy teacher. Three main themes are identified and reflected upon: Daring to explore death; looking deeply and directly at death; and, dialoguing about death. While these are not simple and straightforward guidelines to follow, reflecting on them can be enriching and a resource for continued teaching practice. The chapter ends with a poem. This chapter is part of Reflective practice research in higher education pedagogies (edited by Michael Noah Weiss and Guro Hansen Helskog, published by LIT Verlag, due in 2023)