Between the Couple and Living Alone

Family Science, 2014

This paper examines how people living apart together (LATs) maintain their relationships, and describes how they view this living arrangement. It draws on a 2011 survey on LAT in Britain, supplemented by qualitative interviewing. Most LATs in Britain live close to their partners, and have frequent contact with them. At the same time most see LAT in terms of a monogamous, committed couple, where marriage remains a strong normative reference point, and see living apart as not much different from co-residence in terms of risk, emotional security or closeness. Many see themselves living together in the future. However, LAT does appear to make difference to patterns of care between partners. In addition, LATs report advantages in terms of autonomy and flexibility. The paper concludes that LAT allows individuals some freedom to manoeuvre in balancing the demands of life circumstances and personal needs with those of an intimate relationship, but that practices of LAT do not, in general, represent a radical departure from the norms of contemporary coupledom, except for that which expects couples to cohabit.

This study focuses on living apart together (LAT) partnerships in Belgium (Flanders) and uses semi-structured interview data from a sample of 54 LAT individuals aged 30–68 years to investigate the extent to which such unions are comparable to marriage with respect to five relationship dimensions: a couple dimension, an enterprise dimension, a value dimension, a role dimension and a form dimension. Although key relationship values put LAT on an equal footing with marriage, our findings indicate that transitional LAT partnerships exhibit far greater similarities to a marital relationship than permanent LAT partnerships in terms of perceptions of coupledom, joint enterprise and partners’ roles and responsibilities within the union. These similarities with marriage again diminish as the form dimension is taken into account.

2013

Over a fifth of those normally classified as "single" are actually in a relationship but not living with their partner-which is 9% of adults in Britain. This sizeable minority has only recently been recognized by social researchers, even though people have long been having relationships without moving in together. In the context of increasing attention to the diversity of ways in which people live and love outside the conventional family, understanding "living apart together" (LAT) relationships is vital for policy-makers, practitioners and researchers who are concerned with couples, families, and individual well-being today. This briefing paper presents the findings of the most comprehensive study of living apart together in Britain to date. A multi-method study The study, conducted in 2011-12, used three complementary methods in order to gain a thorough understanding of living apart relationships: • A quantitative representative national survey of 572 people in LAT relationships 1 , which focused on their social characteristics, motivations, attitudes and how they organise their relationships. • Qualitative semi-structured interviews with 50 people in LAT relationships (drawn from the representative national sample), in which they were asked about their experiences, beliefs, understandings and everyday relationship practices in more detail. • Psychosocial biographical narrative interviews with 16 people who are in LAT relationships (drawn from the representative national sample) which explored their life and relationship histories and personal meanings in greater depth, placing the current LAT relationship in the context of the rest of their lives.

This study focuses on living apart together (LAT) partnerships in Belgium (Flanders) and uses semi-structured interview data from a sample of 54 LAT individuals aged 30–68 years to investigate the extent to which such unions are comparable to marriage with respect to five relationship dimensions: a couple dimension, an enterprise dimension, a value dimension, a role dimension and a form dimension. Although key relationship values put LAT on an equal footing with marriage, our findings indicate that transitional LAT partnerships exhibit far greater similarities to a marital relationship than permanent LAT partnerships in terms of perceptions of coupledom, joint enterprise and partners’ roles and responsibilities within the union. These similarities with marriage again diminish as the form dimension is taken into account.

Population and Development Review, 2020

The increasing proportion of persons living alone has come to be emblematic in many ways of modern Western societies because it represents the importance conceded to the individual and to individual goals at the expense, basically, of the family. Solo living has been interpreted within the context of changing values and preferences, changing personal and conjugal realities, and the changing work contexts so often associated with the Second Demographic Transition. We know little about patterns and trends in living alone over the life course in much of the world because most research to date has concentrated on regional and national portrayals or on living arrangements in later life. This study provides a systematic look at the differences in living alone by age and sex in 113 countries. Our aim is to understand the extent to which behavior differs around the world and the implications this has for society. We also examine the relationship between trends in living alone and levels of human development. Results are taken from three massive datasets: census and survey

Recent research suggests that women can use living apart together (LAT) for a reflexive and strategic undoing of the gendered norms of cohabitation. In this article we examine this assertion empirically, using a representative survey from Britain in 2011 and follow-up interviews. First, we find little gender differentiation in practices, expectations, or attitudes about LAT, or reasons for LAT. This does not fit in with ideas of undoing gender. Secondly, in examining how women talk about LAT in relation to gender, we distinguish three groups of ‘constrained’, ‘strategic’ and ‘vulnerable’ female interviewees. All valued the extra space and time that LAT could bring, many welcomed some release from traditional divisions of labour, and some were glad to escape unpleasant situations created by partnership with men. However, for the constrained and vulnerable groups LAT was second best, and any relaxation of gendered norms was seen as incidental and inconsequential to their major aim, or ideal, of the ‘proper family’ with cohabitation and marriage. Rather, their agency in achieving this was limited by more powerful agents, or was a reaction to perceived vulnerability. While the strategic group showed more purposeful behaviour in avoiding male authority, agency remained relational and bonded. Overall we find that women, at least in Britain, seldom use LAT to purposefully or reflexively undo gender. Equally, LAT sometimes involves a reaffirmation of gendered norms. LAT is a multi-faceted adaption to circumstances where new autonomies can at the same time incorporate old subordinations, and new arrangements can herald conventional family forms

Living Alone, Living Together, 2017

Ageing International, 2002

2014

Drawing on a European cross-national biographical-narrative study of intimate life, this paper discusses the complexity of experiences of “togetherness” and “apartness” amongst people in living apart relationships. We explore the five main ways in which interviewees spoke about and understood their current living apart relationships (as chosen; temporary; transitional; undecided; and unrecognizable), which we argue suggests the need for a broader conceptualisation of this form of intimate relationship than is suggested by the established notion of “living apart together”. The paper points to the varying experiences of receiving or being denied recognition and acceptance by others as belonging to a couple, as well as to the differing degrees of desire for, or rebellion against, expectations that living apart relationships should “progress” towards cohabitation.