A New Term At Woffwarts

 Don't bother with the Sorting Hat: they're all wrong 'uns!

Pass The Cheese: Wood Elves vs Skaven

Round 2: versus Skaven

This was actually versus United Legions of the Everchosen (to gain Reign of Chaos effects - I wasn't exaggerating about the cheese), but was, in reality, an all-ratmen army with a Verminlord special character.

Facing a big horde of low-toughness critters, I went into this battle with a confidence that reflected my ignorance of the Skaven army book.

Armies

The Grand Legion of the Everchosen - Skaven

The Abomination is a proxy Verminlord
The Rat Ogres are proxy Stormfiends
The Jezzail is a proxy Ratling Gun
The Skullcannon is a proxy Warp Lightning Cannon
The Clanrats are proxy Stormvermin
The Warlord, to be fair, is a Warlord.

• Warlord
• Verminlord Deceiver
• Chieftain (BSB)
• Warlock Engineer
• 37 x Stormvermin
• 1 x Ratling Gun
• 1 x Warp Lightning Cannon
• 3 x Stormfiends

The Year of the Rat

It looks like the next instalment of End Times the will be featuring the most hated rat of them all...

Eahhhhhh!

Sorry, the second-most hated rat: Thanquol!

“I can still tend the abominations, George? I didn't mean no harm, George.”
Of Mice And Ratmen

Warriors of Chaos vs Skaven: Ugly Pug

Time to take the training wheels off these Chaos Warriors, I think.

I've been collecting and painting them for a year and a half, and they've never played a single match. This feels frustrating, to say the least.

Thanks to the UK's interminable processing time for any bureaucracy, I wouldn't have been able to get to this year's 'Boot, I was waiting on a new passport. But the original reasons I couldn't make it (money and being in a sitcom) turned out not to be valid come the actual week. I got an unexpectedly large tax return, and the director postponed the filming for three weeks five days before it was due to start.

I'm not a patient man, sadly. I just couldn't wait any longer to unleash a tide of darkness upon the realm of mortals. So I entered into a pact with an entity whose very name is redolant with horror and corruption of the weak, and did something very few reasonable or sane men would contemplate.

I went into the local GW on their late opening night.


General Kraken - The Unbloodied

2000 points of WoC

Chaos Lord - Helm of Discord, additional hand weapon
Sorceror Lord - Lvl 3 Lore of Shadow, barded chaos steed
Sorceror - Lvl 1 Lore of Fire, Scroll of Shielding
15 Chaos Warriors - shields, full command, War Banner
25 Marauders - Mark of Khorne, light armour, flails, full command
25 Marauders - Mark of Tzeentch, light armour, shields, full command
15 Marauders - Mark of Nurgle, light armour, great weapons, full command
1 Chariot
1 Chaos Warshrine

"You can't field that," the store chap says. "It's too many points for the hobby night. Half it, there's a table free soon. These guys are nearly finished."

So before I've even started, I take a truckload of hits with no saves allowed.

General Kraken (revised) - The Unexpectedly Bloodied

1000 points of WoC

Exalted Hero - Additional hand weapon, Helm of Discord
Sorceror - Lvl 1 Lore of Shadow, Barded Chaos Steed
10 Chaos Warriors - shields, full command, Gleaming Pennant
15 Marauders - Mark of Khorne, flails, light armour, full command
15 Marauders - Mark of Tzeentch, shields, full command
Chariot

VS

General Ratbeard - Ratmass

1000 points of Skaven

Warlord - Warpstone armour, not sure what else
Engineer - Dispel scroll
Engineer - Lvl 2, Condenser
30 Clanrats, banner
30 Clanrats, banner
20 Stormvermin with halberds, full command
Poison Wind Mortar
Warp Lightning Cannon

Savage Orcs vs Skaven: Challenging Times

"Rats," spat Bonekrunk Stonesplitter.

"Wot's da matter?" asked Ramgut, eyeing his warboss for a sign of weakness.

"Rats," Bonekrunk pointed to the far end of the cavern. Two regiments of Skaven had emerged from the side tunnels of the Gazarkhame, almost as if they had been waiting for them.

One of the units was unusually well-ordered and clad in good armour, more like 'ooman soldiers than ratmen. Lumbering out before both troops was a disgusting mass of warped flesh - an Abomination from the dreaded Hell Pit.

"Scared, boss?" Shaman Ramgut was wondering if, once again, he would need to take charge of the Waaagh!

"Stoopid runt!" Bonekrunk clouted the shaman accross the head. "I ain't scared a' no squeaky warpstone-chewers! Now git over to Da Brave 'Arts and hold da flank. I'm taking da lads down the middle."

WoffBoot VI - Dogs of Empire vs Skaven

"I HATE the ratmen!" Captain Fagiolo spat on the ragged ground. "Come! Let us speak of them no more!"

The battle standard bearer had been in a bad mood ever since they had picked him out of the heap of ratmen corpses. Commissar Pendleton couldn't disagree. There were some in the Empire who doubted the existence of the cursed ratmen, but they were familiar foes to mercenaries of Tilea. Men who had fought in the Blighted Marshes, men who remembered the fate of Miragliano.

And three hundred miles from home, here they were again. A vast chittering horde of innumerable ratmen, teaming towards his exhausted forces. The Riders of Udolpho had done their best to distract the swarm, riding back and forth until they were finally taken down by the long-range shots of the ratmen's evil war machines.

"I HATE that volley gun!" Fagiolo ran his fingers through his bloodied hair. "Come! Let us speak of it no more!"

Pendleton scowled at their experimental war machine, leased from the mad inventor Congreave Mitman at an exorbitant price. For the third battle in a row, the volley gun and underachieved expectations. The master gunner was now staring at it, hands on hips, shaking his head and drawing breath between his teeth in the traditional attitude of a tradesman about to charge a large amount of money to repair a faulty machine.

WoffBoot VI - Ogres vs Skaven

Warlord Quoff of Clan Slavish surveyed the valley before him; some kind of human shrine building off to his left, a wooded area to the right, and a path in the centre up to the hilly area ahead of him.  It seemed horribly familiar.  That was it!  He'd faced the Orcs here all too recently when travelling in opposite direction.  He was lost. 

Without warning, Wayl, his weasley lieutenant, cried aloud and pointed across the valley.  Before he knew it the Ogres had closed to within charging distance of his slave packs and the jezzails on the right were obliterated by cannon fire.  On the left flank, the jezzail team made a beeline for the chapel, in the centre the slaves side-stepped to reveal more of the warpstone weapons (which unloaded into the tusked mammoth) and the main bulk of the party moved cautiously down the hill towards the Ogres. 

The enraged mammoth, not happy about being shot at, charged and broke the slaves on the left flank, causing the nearby jezzail teams to panic and flee the field.  Thankfully, the cannon and winds of magic favoured the skaven at this moment and, save slaughtering a couple of slaves, did nothing. 

The Ogres backed up.  The slaves edged forwards.  The Ogres backed up.  This couldn't continue for long as the Ogres were being pressed back up the hill.

Meanwhile on the left flank, jezzail fire came from the building.  At the same time, the mammoth squealed in pain and the jezzail team ran from the building, clothes ablaze.  It was not going well.

The Ogres, realising they were cornered, now chose to charge with all they had.  It was over in short order, a counter charge by the slaves on the right flank doing too little too late to turn the tide of fortune in favour of the Skaven.

After hiding amongst the numerous bodies of fallen slaves, Quoff, with Wayl following closely behind, skulked off into the woods and licked his wounds.  Today had proved most costly.  He had never much liked being above ground.

WoffBoot VI - Orcs and Goblins vs Skaven

The hoard of Ratmen emerged not far from where the Orcs had pitched their camp the previous night, boiling out of the ground in an endless tide of unpainted  unwashed bodies. Gnashbad nodded to himself, apparently satisfied.

"Dem's Clan Slavish," he said to his boys. "Nuffin' to worry about there. Lot of slaves, mind you, more then us. You boys want victory?"

"WAAAARGH!"

"Right. Stay ere on the hill and don't move til I gives da wurd."