{"@attributes":{"version":"2.0"},"channel":{"title":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/","description":"vickygal - LiveJournal.com","lastBuildDate":"Wed, 28 Nov 2012 08:13:05 GMT","generator":"LiveJournal \/ LiveJournal.com","image":{"url":"https:\/\/l-userpic.livejournal.com\/126615046\/15850458","title":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/","width":"79","height":"100"},"item":[{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/58641.html","pubDate":"Wed, 28 Nov 2012 08:13:05 GMT","title":"Stuck In A Hole (2\/2)","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/58641.html","description":"
Title:<\/b> Stuck In A Hole<\/div>
Summary:<\/b> Mid-Season One Zuko and Sokka are trapped in a hole by some bad men and have to work together to get out. Only problem is, they're feeling not too cooperative. ...Especially Zuko. "Make no mistake, Water Tribe; the enemy of my enemy is still my enemy."<\/div>
Note: <\/b>Should be canon-compliant, if you squint. Also, just a fun fact, was meant to be slash. The boys were having none of that though, so it's friendship instead.<\/div>

Part One<\/a><\/div>

---<\/div>
Zuko woke with a start. He attempted to leap to his feet, but had forgotten about the shackles on his wrists behind his back, and stumbled ungracefully to his knees. Luckily no one had seen.<\/div>

He looked up at the small ring of sky above. It was a dark blue-black color, and the air was still quite cold and damp, but Zuko knew the sun was rising. He could feel it in his bones; it gave him strength.<\/div>

It also proved that the Water Tribe peasant had broken his oath. It had been hours since Zuko had helped him escape, and there hadn't been a single sound of struggle from above. Most likely, the sneaky coward had just slipped away unnoticed. There was no way he was coming back to free his enemy.<\/div>

Zuko knew he should have expected this – and in fact he had<\/i>, but that didn't make it any less disappointing. He'd known from the start that the Avatar had no care for honor (the way he'd broken their agreement the first time they'd met proved it), but had hoped that maybe the scrawny boy who called himself a 'water tribe warrior' would feel at least slightly bound by his oaths. But of course, Water Tribe oaths didn't count if they were making them to someone from the Fire Nation. Zuko scoffed. If it had been him, he would have honored his agreement. Once they'd both escaped, sure he might have tried to kidnap the Avatar's friend himself, but he would have held off until they were well free of the Earth Kindom soldiers.<\/div>

Well, so much for that. He was on his own again.<\/div>

Zuko sighed, and began to reevaluate his options. He might have to break out of the cuffs with firebending. He'd been reluctant to do so until now, as it would be a noisy and painful process – heating his skin enough to shatter rock would burn his own wrists pretty badly, and the explosion would definitely alert his captors. Then again, maybe he could turn that into an advantage.<\/div>

If, as soon as they lifted him out of this hole, he shattered the cuffs, maybe the shards of superheated rock would injure them. Or at least startle them enough for Zuko to get an advantage. He was certain he'd be able to beat them in a fair fight; it was mere chance that they'd captured him in the first place. He had been walking under a rocky overpass when everything went dark – probably they had dropped a rock on his head from above and knocked him out. He'd had a pretty bad headache for the first few hours of his captivity, but it had gone away soon enough that Zuko figured he didn't have to worry about a concussion. Still, by then he'd been cuffed and thrown into a deep pit where he couldn't fight back.<\/div>

This time would be different. Well, he hoped it would, anyway. If they encased his legs in rock as well, he would probably be unable to do a thing. There was no point in thinking like that now, though. All he could do was wait for them to come get him, and be ready to fight the moment they did. He didn't need that idiot's help; he could escape on his own.<\/div>

It was just as Zuko was thinking this that a wailing Earth Kingdom soldier fell from above, momentarily blotting out all light from the rising sun. Shocked, Zuko nonetheless reacted quickly, flattening himself against the wall so as not to be hit. As soon as the man landed with a painful-sounding thud<\/i>, Zuko sprang forward, delivering a single sharp kick to the man's jaw.<\/div>

The soldier's eyes rolled up in his head, and Zuko used his feet to roll the man over onto his back. After a wary glance upward, he crouched down and used his hands to fumble blindly behind him in search of a key in the man's pockets. He hadn't found anything yet when a second shadow blotted out the sky. This time, the man casting it was not falling into his own prison, however; he was squinting suspiciously down at Zuko.<\/div>

"Hey! I told you to quit fighting each oth– Ping? Oi, get away from Ping!" he shouted. "Spirits, what – where'd the other prisoner go?" He turned away from the hole, yelling for his remaining companions to get<\/i> up<\/i>, the prisoners had Ping.<\/div>

Zuko searched frantically behind him. The man must have tripped or something, it didn't matter. This was his chance. If he could find a key and free his hands before the earthbender came back –<\/div>

He didn't get the chance. Not even a minute later, the earth beneath him began to rise to the surface with dizzying speed, the hole filling itself in as its core rose back to the surface. Zuko abandoned his search for a key; instead, he made good use of the momentum the earthbender had provided him by leaping forward into a spinning kick as soon as he reached the surface. He got one of the men, but it was only a glancing blow and not the earthbender. The key to winning this fight was taking out the earthbender before he caught Zuko's feet and robbed him of his mobility. This meant, until he was sure the ground wouldn't be reaching for him, staying off of it as much as possible.<\/div>

Despite his wobbly landing (being unable to use his arms even for balance was really a problem) Zuko launched into a second spinning kick, this time with his foot trailing a whip of fire through the air. He managed to get the soldier he'd hit with his first kick more solidly this time, and the man fell limply to the ground under the combined blow and searing flames – but that only made the odds two to one, and Zuko spun back to face the other two a second too late to dodge the small boulder flying at him.<\/div>

It hit him in the shoulder and sent him tumbling head over heels through the grass. Zuko kept rolling, narrowly avoiding a second boulder, then leapt back to his feet. His shoulder was aching horribly, but he ignored it. He had to keep moving.<\/div>

Suddenly the final – and largest – nonbending soldier was right in front of him, brandishing a sword. Zuko retreated rapidly – right into a tree. He swore and ducked just in time, the metal biting deep into the wood right where his head had been. Taking advantage of the time it took to pull the blade out of the tree, Zuko charged forward, aiming his uninjured shoulder right into the man's gut.<\/div>

He succeeded in knocking the man over and making him lose his sword, but not much more. Earth Kingdom armor prevented his attack from winding the soldier, and he was a large, well-muscled man who still had the use of his arms. Zuko, in contrast, was pretty scrawny and while he was fit, he didn't have anywhere near the amount of brute strength necessary to break loose once the man wrapped his huge arms around him.<\/div>

"Got you now," the soldier leered, standing up and just holding Zuko off the ground in a humiliatingly effective bearhug. The more he struggled, the more he was squeezed, and his weak kicks did no good whatsoever. "Hey, Gen, I think you'll need to try getting his legs in stone too. Then this little runt won't be able to cause us any more trouble, and we can go get the other one."<\/div>

The soldier holding Zuko turned around as he spoke, and both he and Zuko fell silent at the sight of the earthbender crumpled motionless on the ground. The man's grip loosened slightly in shock, and Zuko took advantage of that to squirm down to the ground. He spun on one foot, and kicked high with the other; but the man just caught it in one large, meaty hand.<\/div>

"What have you done to Gen?" he snarled, twisting Zuko's foot painfully. The banished prince hopped awkwardly on the other, trying to keep his balance.<\/div>

"I don't know; it wasn't me!"<\/div>

"Don't lie to me, Fire Nation scum!"<\/div>

"I'm not lying!" Zuko tried to concentrate and build up the heat in his wrists. If he could shatter the cuffs, this would be the moment – but he couldn't focus on such tricky bending when his ankle was in this much pain. He had to succeed, he was so close to escaping, but the man just kept squeezing<\/i> and Zuko was having trouble even standing, let alone bending. Still, if he could just focus for a second…<\/div>

"He's not lying; it was me!"<\/div>

Once again, both Zuko and his captor froze in momentary surprise; once again, Zuko recovered faster. He yanked his foot free of the – once again – loosened grip and stumbled back out of the way as Sokka threw his boomerang right at the soldier. Of course, the man dodged it easily, but Zuko remembered well the trick to that particular weapon. If he just kept the man distracted until it swung back around – this technique was so very useful today –<\/div>

He took a deep breath and exhaled as much fire as he could at the soldier, just as the man reached for him once more. Far from the small amounts he'd been producing last night to see by without alerting the kidnappers, this time the amount of fire was an effective close-range attack. The soldier yelled in surprise and pain as his hands were engulfed in flames, and stumbled back – right into the boomerang as it whistled back around. It hit his head with a sharp clok<\/i>, and he fell like a stone.<\/div>

Zuko straightened slowly, wincing at the pain in his ankle. That could have been bad. He really had to thank Uncle for teaching him the breath of fire. But more immediately – he turned to face Sokka. "You came back?"<\/div>

The Water Tribe boy wandered over, plucking his boomerang off the ground. "Of course I did! Don't you remember that whole thing where you made me swear an oath?"<\/div>

Zuko shrugged. "I thought you broke it. That wouldn't be the first time."<\/div>

Suddenly, the sharp edge of the boomerang was in front of his face. "I've never<\/i> broken an oath."<\/div>

Zuko lifted a finger and pushed the boomerang away. "Your friend has, and you didn't seem to have much problem with it. And anyway, you were gone for hours; what was I supposed to think? You didn't even do much good when you did<\/i> come back."<\/div>

"What!"<\/div>

Zuko ignored the affronted exclamation, turning instead to kneel in front of the unconscious soldier and begin patting his pockets. Maybe this guy would have the key.<\/div>

Sokka bent down next to him. "What are you doing?<\/i>"<\/div>

"Looking for the key."<\/div>

"Oh, right." Almost absent-mindedly, Sokka pushed Zuko's hands aside and took over the task himself. "Back to the point, what do you mean I didn't do much good? I took down three of the four guys!"<\/div>

Sitting back on the ground (if Sokka wanted to do all the manual labor involved in finding the key, he wouldn't stop him) Zuko snorted. "Let's see, one of them tripped into a hole, I took him and the other two out, and you got the bender. You did better than I expected of you – doesn't mean you did much."<\/div>

Sokka puffed up proudly. "For your information<\/i>, that guy did not trip. Well, he did, but he tripped on a genuine Water Tribe tripline, courtesy of me, thank you very much! I didn't attack them all in the middle of the night because I thought attacking in the morning, when they were distracted by packing up camp, would be more effective. So I lied in wait all night just to save your ungrateful ass. And this is what I get?"<\/div>

Zuko recognized the intelligence of that plan, especially as it had given him the added firepower of the rising sun, and given it had ended with him distracting the kidnappers while Sokka attacked them from behind, but he didn't have to admit<\/i> to being impressed. "It took you all night to think of a tripline? Besides, the fall didn't even knock him out. I had to do that." He paused. "Just like I knocked out two of the other three soldiers. Without planning all night. Oh, and with no hands.<\/i>"<\/div>

"…Shut up," Sokka said. "This guy doesn't have the key. Let's move on."<\/div>

They checked the other nonbending soldiers… or at least Sokka did, while Zuko watched him carefully for signs of treachery and participated in a vicious squabble regarding who could really claim to have defeated that last soldier. Sokka's boomerang had knocked him out, just as it had the earthbender, but Zuko's flames had been what put him in position for the boomerang to hit. 'Teamwork' was the obvious conclusion, but neither boy wanted to admit to anything resembling that<\/i> – so they squabbled.<\/div>

By the time Sokka had finished searching (and tying up) all three nonbenders without finding anything resembling a key, Zuko started to get worried. Sure, he always had the option of shattering the cuffs with firebending, but he really didn't want to resort to that unless he absolutely had to. It would burn his wrists, and might even drive stone splinters into his back. Not to mention it would take a lot of energy.<\/div>

Still, they headed over to the earthbender to tie him up as well, and Sokka decided to search through his pockets as well. Zuko didn't see the point – but he was quickly proved wrong as the first thing Sokka found was a square stone key. They both stared at it, confused.<\/div>

"Why the hell would an earthbender need a key to open stone cuffs?" Zuko asked.<\/div>

"Maybe he's not a very good bender?" Sokka said. He elaborated when Zuko frowned at him. "I mean, he only used some pretty basic techniques, right? He dug a hole and threw some rocks. I<\/i> can do that. Did he even make these handcuffs? Someone could have just given them to him."<\/div>

Of course, Zuko had been unconscious at the time so he had no idea whether the man before them had made the cuffs or not, but Sokka's explanation made sense. It was still rather pitiful – but then, he wasn't the best person to scoff at others' bending prowess.<\/div>

"Whatever," he said instead, turning and presenting his hands. "Take these off."<\/div>

"No way," Sokka laughed. "Not until you swear an oath on your<\/i> honor that you won't attack me or follow me back to Aang."<\/div>

Zuko turned his head to glare over his shoulder. Of course. He should have known<\/i> the only reason the other boy would help look for the keys would be to hold them over him somehow. This night had made him drastically reevaluate his opinion of the Avatar's friend. Before now he'd considered the boy sort of worthless; he couldn't bend, wasn't even a great fighter, and had never seemed very helpful in any way. But now it was clear that he had a sharp and cunning mind – he might even be the one behind all the Avatar's clever evasions. This was someone to watch out for.<\/div>

Zuko grit his teeth in reluctant respect. There was no doubt in his mind that he could beat Sokka in a fight even without his bending, but he knew plans weren't exactly his strong point and he had been well outmaneuvered this time. If he refused the oath, he probably would not be able to wrestle the key away from Sokka – not given his injured ankle and the weapon the boy had reacquired. If he said no to the key, pretended to leave, but exploded the cuffs off and followed Sokka back to his camp in secret, he would be tired from the difficult firebending, his wrists and possibly back would be injured, and he would have to sneak about on an injured ankle. There was no way he could capture the Avatar in that kind of condition. And of course Zuko would never dishonor himself by agreeing and then breaking the oath.<\/div>

"As Agni is my witness, I swear upon my honor that I will not harm you or follow you to your companions from this location, once you have freed me." Zuko bowed his head as he spoke, and adopted a formal tone for the binding oath. After he'd finished, he waited with his head still bowed for acknowledgement. None came. "Well?"<\/div>

"What?" Sokka said. "Oh, uh, okay. Wow, that was kind of fancy. Makes my oath sound sort of uncool."<\/div>

Zuko rolled his eyes as he held his hands out once more, feeling Sokka fiddling at each wrist with the key. "That was nothing. That was about as informal as an oath can get. Mine wasn't cool – yours was just very lame. Then again, I guess you are<\/i> just a peasant; its not like you know better."<\/div>

"Oh, shut up, Prince Fancypants," Sokka muttered as he finished with the cuffs. Zuko rubbed his wrists and stretched his arms – his shoulder hurt where the boulder had hit it, but it didn't feel broken or dislocated so it would probably just bruise. Then he snatched the handcuffs away from Sokka.<\/div>

"Hey, what are you doing with those?"<\/div>

Zuko leaned down and cuffed the unconscious earthbender's hands together behind his back. Then he took the key and threw it away into the woods. "Bending training."<\/div>

Sokka laughed. "Man, that's harsh. Kinda funny, too. Bending training.<\/i> Ha!"<\/div>

No one ever liked his jokes. Caught by surprise, Zuko smiled. "Thanks."<\/div>

The moment quickly got awkward. "Yeah, whatever," Sokka grumbled. "I'm more surprised that you didn't burn them all alive or something, after all of this."<\/div>

Any trace of a smile lingering on Zuko's face instantly vanished. "I told you before, I'm not<\/i> a murderer."<\/div>

"So you say."<\/div>

"Agni, you piss me off."<\/div>

"Oh yeah, well the feeling's mutual, buddy."<\/div>

"I'm not your buddy<\/i>."<\/div>

"Obviously<\/i>."<\/div>

"Shut up."<\/div>

"I'll have you know that –" Sokka stopped mid-sentence as his stomach rumbled loudly. He stared down at it for a minute, then turned and walked over to the ashes of the campfire, plunking down on a small boulder next to the Earth Kingdom soldiers' supplies. "I'm going to steal those jerks' breakfast before I leave."<\/div>

After some hesitation, Zuko joined him. He took a seat on the opposite side of the fire, and bound his (probably sprained) ankle in bandages from the soldiers' medical kit while Sokka scraped together some kind of porridge and cooked it over the campfire (which Zuko relit). The whole scene was uncomfortably amiable, even if the porridge tasted awful and they argued about their respective cooking abilities (nil on both sides, but that didn't stop them from fighting about who was worse).<\/div>

It was almost a relief when the soldiers started waking up. Of course, then they started yelling their heads off and saying insulting things about their ex-captives' ancestries, so Zuko knocked them out again. Sokka scolded him halfheartedly but clearly would have done the same himself if they'd carried on much longer.

Still, it served as an incentive to get going. Zuko and Sokka trudged together over to the nearby river, eyeing each other suspiciously.<\/div>

"Remember," Sokka said, "You swore on your precious honor not to follow me."<\/div>

Zuko took a deep breath, and closed his eyes briefly. "I know," he said. "But next time I'm coming for the Avatar."<\/div>

Then he turned and walked away downstream without a single glance back. Sokka knew, because he watched Zuko carefully for a long time before heading upstream himself. Though he'd never admit it, that had been pretty manly just now. Actually, Zuko had been pretty manly throughout the whole night, possibly more so than even Sokka (which was saying something, because Sokka was pretty darn manly). Not to mention that whole breathing fire thing was kind of cool. It was a shame he was evil Avatar-chasing Fire Nation scum, otherwise he would probably be pretty fun to hang out with.<\/div>

And to spar with. Sokka hadn't missed the way Zuko had effectively fought three enemies at once with his hands tied behind his back and actually held his own. Sure, he'd had Sokka backing him up from the shadows (thank Tui and La that Sokka always carried Boomerang with him even to go fishing, and that the soldiers hadn't noticed him quietly stealing it back in the middle of the night) – but even so, he was a pretty good fighter even without his bending. Kind of made Sokka want to train some more, actually (he wasn't feeling threatened<\/i>, just… prudent).<\/div>

It took most of the day steadily hiking upstream, but Sokka eventually made it back his friend and sister. They were flying Appa around in circles above the treetops, it seemed, and swooped down as soon as they spotted him to bestow hugs and much worried ranting.<\/div>

One look at Katara's face, strained with ill-concealed fear, and Sokka couldn't bring himself to tell them where he'd really been. So he told a half-truth instead, that he'd fallen in the river, washed way downstream, and spent the night before hiking back up.<\/div>

The worry on Katara's face seemed to melt away. "You big goof," she said with a grin. "Why don't you just leave the fishing to us waterbenders from now on? It's not like you even catch anything."<\/div>

"Yeah," Aang chipped in, laughing merrily. "You took two whole days and didn't even catch a single fish!"<\/div>

Sokka explained that fishing was a very serious, important, manly duty that only he could undertake, much as sewing and making delicious food were mysterious womanly arts he'd never be able to master. This got him lots of slightly-exasperated ribbing from Katara, particularly about a certain island of lady warriors who could probably fish just as well as they could fight ("That means better than you," Aang pointed out cheekily, the traitor).<\/div>

At Sokka's suggestion, they moved on without any delay. He claimed he was sick of this river; but watched it unwinding far beneath Appa in silent contemplation. Somewhere down there, Zuko could probably see them leaving.<\/div>

---<\/div>
Zuko, standing on the deck of his ship, swore loud and long as he watched the familiar white bison fly off into the distance. His uncle shot him a disapproving glance, but he ignored that in favor of stomping away to his room. He was too late!<\/div>

When he had made his oath to Sokka, Zuko had been careful about how he'd phrased it: he had sworn not to follow the Water Tribe boy 'from that location'. In other words, following him once he had reached the town wouldn't break his word at all. He'd known he wasn't terribly far away from the town, whereas it sounded like Sokka had washed far downriver before being captured. Zuko had hoped that he would have enough time to hurry back to port and use his small riverboat to overtake Sokka and get to the Avatar first. Sure, his injured ankle had slowed him down, but he still should have had plenty of time.<\/div>

The only thing he'd forgotten was that his crew was on leave. The only people on the ship when Zuko arrived were his uncle and three crewmembers in charge of guarding the ship in the harbor. He'd sent all three out immediately to recall their crewmembers, despite Uncle's warnings that the already discontented crew would not like being deprived of their leave. Zuko couldn't care less about the feelings of his crew when the Avatar was finally almost in his grasp.<\/div>

Unfortunately, the crew didn't seem to be nearly so excited about their chance to capture the Avatar and go home. They straggled in one by one over the next few hours, most of them drunk or hungover, and clearly uncooperative. Several had obviously been enjoying the comforts of certain port women, and did not relish the interruption. By the time Zuko had finally gotten enough of the feckless and resentful soldiers together to man the riverboat, it was already afternoon. And then Lieutenant Jee had seen fit to challenge Zuko's authority, complaining about having leave rescinded without warning. It was like the lot of them didn't even care<\/i> about catching the Avatar!<\/div>

Still, he'd finally gotten the riverboat ready and in the water – and now this! Now he would have to wait even longer to follow the Avater as the riverboat was loaded back onto the ship and his crew sobered up. Even Zuko could accept that, while there were enough sober soldiers to man the riverboat, it would not be a good idea to set off in the ship until at least a few more were able to walk in a straight line.<\/div>

At least he'd gotten a good look at where the Avatar and his friends were going. Almost due north; he would be able to follow them up the coastline fairly easily, which was something worthwhile. Sure, he was frustrated, his pride (and shoulder) was badly bruised, and his ankle sprained – but at least he knew more than he had yesterday. The Avatar was close, heading north, and his male friend was definitely no hanger-on but someone to watch out for from now on.<\/div>

Sokka had been unexpected in a lot of ways. Zuko was surprised to find that he hadn't actually hated the boy. Sure, he was a Water Tribe peasant and the Avatar's ally, but arguing with him had actually been sort of… weirdly not so bad. Maybe even a tiny bit fun. It was sort of a shame that he was the enemy.<\/div>

Zuko decided that once he captured the Avatar, he'd try to let the Water Tribe siblings go free. Or at least make sure they received fair treatment in prison. Sokka had come back for him, after all. He clearly valued his honor highly, and deserved at least the respect of acknowledging that. Zuko would give him that.<\/div>

Once he caught the Avatar, anyway. Which he would – and soon. As soon as he could get his crew moving! With a snarl, Zuko left his room to go yell at them some more.<\/div>

He knew where the Avatar was.<\/div>

It wouldn't be long, now.<\/div>
<\/a>
","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/58641.html?view=comments#comments","category":["avatar: the last airbender","gen"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/58596.html","pubDate":"Wed, 28 Nov 2012 07:46:01 GMT","title":"Stuck In A Hole (1\/2)","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/58596.html","description":"
Title: <\/b>Stuck In A Hole<\/div>
Summary:<\/b> Mid-Season One Zuko and Sokka are trapped in a hole by some bad men and have to work together to get out. Only problem is, they're feeling not too cooperative. ...Especially Zuko. "Make no mistake, Water Tribe; the enemy of my enemy is still my enemy."<\/div>
Note: <\/b>Should be canon-compliant, if you squint. Also, just a fun fact, was meant to be slash. The boys were having none of that though, so it's friendship instead.<\/div>

Zuko glared. He did it well. His face was basically made to glare. "Make no mistake, Water Tribe; the enemy of my enemy is still my enemy."<\/div>

Sokka's own retaliatory glare had no choice but to falter. It turned into a full-face scrunch instead, which was probably much more his style anyway. "That's a lot of enemies."<\/div>

Zuko glared harder.<\/div>

Normally, Sokka would have been more than content to glare back, but today was slightly different. Today four no-good Earth Kingdom soldiers were holding him captive for unclear reasons. He hadn't fought them too hard upon being captured, since he hadn't wanted to hurt the good guys and had figured they just didn't recognize him. But when he'd mentioned being best buddies with the Avatar, they'd only laughed at him and high-fived each other. Then they'd put him into a deep pit with a very disgruntled Fire Prince and left. Zuko had been glaring since Sokka first arrived, which was four hours ago.<\/div>

But no measly stinkeye was going to stop Sokka from escaping this literal hole in the ground and rejoining his sister and friend. Even if he had to use Prince Glare to do so. Unfortunately, Prince Glare was implacable so far.<\/div>

"Of course I have a lot of enemies," he retorted, still glaring. "And you're one of them. The only reason I haven't burnt you to a crisp yet is because then I'd be stuck down here with your corpse and I hate the smell of burning flesh."<\/div>

Sokka pulled a disgusted face that was only slightly exaggerated. What kind of freak considered that<\/i> a good reason to spare someone's life (not that his life needed sparing, thanks, especially when Zuko had handcuffs and he did not)? How did that even come to mind? Anyone who knew the smell of burning flesh well enough to consider that sort of thing was not the kind of person Sokka cared to be stuck in a tiny hole with. Why, that pretty much ruled out the entire Fire Nation, didn't it. Funny, that.<\/div>

"You're psycho," he said. "Plus you have handcuffs so you couldn't hurt me if you tried, but mostly you are psycho. You sniff<\/i> your victims?"<\/div>

For the first time, Zuko's glare slipped. "I – what? No!<\/i> There's – what do you mean, victims?<\/i> I'm not some – some murderer!"<\/div>

Sokka snorted, very loudly and disbelievingly. Zuko's scowl returned with a vengeance.<\/div>

"…I'd think it would be obvious why I'd hate the smell of burning flesh, you<\/i> imbecile<\/i>," he muttered, turning his face away. The motion revealed the scarred half of his face, as clearly as it could be revealed in the dim light.<\/div>

"Ohhhhhh," Sokka breathed. For a long moment, he almost felt guilty, because Zuko's scowl seemed kind of emotionally wounded rather than just angry, but then he remembered this was the enemy. "Well – well, sure. I knew that. You jerk."<\/div>

Zuko just sighed. Sokka hung his head; it was true, that had been weak.<\/div>

"…My point is," the firebender eventually said, "that you should stop trying to get me to escape with you. There's no way<\/i> I'm helping you get out of here."<\/div>

Sokka sighed as well. Then he let his head thunk back against the dirt wall he sat against. Then he kicked Zuko in the shin. To relieve stress. It was fairly effective.<\/div>

Well, it was effective until Zuko swore (impressively), leapt to his feet, and kicked Sokka back. This prompted Sokka to stand up as well, and the two soon engaged in a cramped kicking battle.<\/div>

It was difficult to kick well, given the small space, especially since Zuko was taller and wore boots with metal tips. Sokka gained considerable advantage, however, as soon as he remembered that his<\/i> wrists were not cuffed together behind his back as Zuko's were. Being so blatantly evaluated the lesser threat rankled, but it came in useful nonetheless: Sokka was able to grapple his opponent into a hold against the wall. He slid a knee between Zuko's to keep him from kicking any more, leaned an arm heavily across his throat, and gloated.<\/div>

"Ha! Don't underestimate me, you Fire Nation scum! I am a strong, wily warrior and you don't stand a chance<\/i> of beating me when you can't use your stupid bending, so just acknowledge me as boss and obey me already!"<\/div>

Zuko's face was difficult to make out clearly in the shadows, but the sound of his voice made it clear that he was gritting his teeth. "There is no way in hell I'd ever lower myself to obeying you<\/i>, peasant! Don't get ahead of yourself!"<\/div>

All of a sudden, he spat fire. Sokka let go and jumped back to avoid the sudden burst of flames, only to tangle his legs with Zuko's and bring them both tumbling painfully to the ground. Their ensuing struggle only seemed to make things worse, as Sokka shoved at any body part not his own and Zuko flopped around uselessly without being able to move his arms. They were both shouting at each other.<\/div>

"Get off me! Get – ow<\/i>, stop, that's my face – hey, don't kick harder<\/i> you, you – you Ponytail Jerkface!"<\/div>

"What the hell are you – stop it – get off – my arms my arms my arms<\/i>, damn it peasant, I'm going to immolate<\/i> you<\/i> –"<\/div>

"Oh, I'd like to see you try –"<\/div>

"Hold still and I will –"<\/div>

"Yeah, that's<\/i> likely –"<\/div>

"SHUT UP!"<\/div>

Sokka and Zuko both jerked their heads up at the sudden shout. Far above, an Earth Kingdom soldier stood at the top of the hole. He seemed thoroughly fed up.<\/div>

"Oma and Shu, if you don't stop shouting I'll bury you both! You'll be worth less dead than alive, but it'd be worth it for the peace and quiet!" He stomped warningly, dislodging several clumps of dirt that fell down onto his prisoner's faces, before turning and moving out of sight.<\/div>

Fighting momentum gone, Sokka occupied himself with spitting dirt out of his mouth. To his surprise, Zuko didn't attempt to get away from him; rather, he went limp, laying back across Sokka's legs and staring up at tiny sliver of blue sky visible high overhead.<\/div>

"So they're definitely still here, then…" he muttered thoughtfully. "They must be planning on selling us to bounty hunters or slave traders."<\/div>

"Slave<\/i> traders?<\/i>" Sokka asked, horrified. His father had taught him a lot about the world beyond the South Pole, but he'd never mentioned slavery.<\/div>

Zuko's shrug was weirdly nonchalant, given the situation. Also his shoulders were bony and Sokka's thighs didn't appreciate it. "No one will admit to condoning slavery anymore, but with all the chaos of the war, it's hard to effectively police stuff like this… The Fire Nation Prince and the Avatar's close friend would definitely fetch a high price with someone<\/i>."<\/div>

Sokka wanted to protest, but everything Zuko was saying made sense. Of course the underworld would be flourishing during such times as these. All the law-enforcers were too busy fighting the Fire Nation to pay much attention to actual law-enforcing, at least on any national scale. It would be quite easy for slave traders to operate if they were careful about it. Especially with corrupt soldiers like these aiding them.<\/div>

He'd known it already or he would never have tried allying with Zuko, but this was the first time it truly hit Sokka just how much trouble he was in. He could very easily die here, or worse, end up sold into slavery. And Katara and Aang wouldn't even know what had happened to him… he couldn't let that happen.<\/div>

"This is all the more reason we should work together," Sokka said. "I don't want to be your friend; I just can't get out of here on my own."<\/div>

Zuko finally sat up, smoothly as though his arms being bound behind his back made no difference to him whatsoever. "Why are you so eager to join forces with me? The Avatar's going to come get you anyway."<\/div>

Sokka swallowed hard and shook his head. "Aang and Katara don't even know where I am. I went off to fish up some dinner and these guys jumped me."<\/div>

"Still," Zuko said calmly (which was just weird<\/i>), "if we're so close to your campsite, they're going to find you eventually."<\/div>

Sokka cleared his throat. "Well. They would, except. I may have tripped into the river and been carried far away downstream before I ran into those Earth Kingdom soldiers. Possibly that happened."<\/div>

Zuko groaned quietly.<\/div>

"It was an accident, okay!" Sokka snapped. "What about you?<\/i> I thought you had a whole boat full of lackeys who'd be out looking for you!"<\/div>

"I'd expect someone from the Water Tribes should know the difference between a boat and a ship, but I guess you're just special<\/i>," was Zuko's snotty reply. "And no, my ship<\/i> full of lackeys is not going to find me until long after I've been sold."<\/div>

Sokka ignored the dig at his intelligence in the interest of escaping any time soon. "Why not?"<\/div>

Zuko sighed heavily. "Because, they're on leave for the next two days. I headed off on my own to search for news of the Avatar – I knew<\/i> he was nearby. But none of my crew are expecting me back for at least another two days. Even if my uncle organizes a search right away when I don't show up, it would probably still take another full day for them to find this place. There's no way these guys are going to wait around for three more days."<\/div>

Sokka moaned piteously. "Why couldn't you go on leave too? You could be off getting drunk in some dockside bar instead of making me endure your company. Damn obsessive freak."<\/div>

"Shut up," Zuko said. "Would you rather be stuck down here alone? You'd never be able to get out of here by yourself."<\/div>

"Oh, so you're willing to make a truce now, are you?"<\/div>

The sun must be setting. Sokka could hardly see Zuko's face anymore in the dim light, but still, he'd have sworn the prince rolled his eyes. "Obviously. I thought I'd be able to escape when the Avatar freed you, but that's no longer an option. But just because I understand the necessity of working with you, doesn't mean I'm going to trust you for one second!"<\/div>

"That's fine," Sokka sniffed haughtily, "I'd never trust you either."<\/div>

---<\/div>

The only problem was, none of their escape plans worked very well when neither participant was willing to trust the other. Zuko kept insisting Sokka pick the lock of his handcuffs, and then he'd be able to scale the wall, defeat the guards, and let down a rope.<\/div>

There were lots of problems with this plan, in Sokka's mind. First, there was no way in hell he'd free Zuko's arms. Sure, the guy could somehow blow fire out of his mouth, but not all that much and that danger was nothing compared to how much trouble Sokka would be in if he had full use of his arms. Plus there was no way Zuko could climb the wall just like that. Sokka had tried – the dirt was hard-packed and he wasn't able to get more than a few feet up before he inevitably slipped and fell back down to the bottom. And finally, even if Zuko was able to climb to the surface and defeat the soldiers who had captured him in the first place, there was no guarantee he'd help Sokka out of the hole. He would probably just claim him as his own prisoner instead, and try to use him for Avatar bait.<\/div>

Sokka much preferred the plan where he stood on Zuko's shoulders and used that boost to help him<\/i> climb to the surface. Once he was up he'd defeat the guards himself, and let a rope down for Zuko.<\/div>

"Don't be an idiot," was the flat response he got when he voiced this brilliant plan. "At least I'd have firebending, but you would be alone and unarmed in the midst of – I counted four – soldiers, one of whom is definitely a bender. They'd toss you right back down here. That, or you'd run away like a coward and leave me to die. No thanks."<\/div>

"I wouldn't run away!" Sokka insisted. But he had to admit Zuko had a point about the whole one-unarmed-person-versus-four-armed-soldiers-one-of-whom-is-a-bender thing.<\/div>

And so, they found themselves at an impasse. Oh, they argued it out, back and forth plenty of times, but eventually they realized something had to give. It was pitch-black in the hole by now, the sun having long since set. If they wanted to escape (which they did), it was best to do so now, while at least some of the soldiers would probably be sleeping.<\/div>

"Okay, this is ridiculous," Sokka said, breaking the latest huffy silence. "We've been stuck in here for like eight hours, I haven't eaten, and Katara's going to be really worried. We've both agreed that they probably want to take us to the slave traders tomorrow, so this is really our best bet at escaping. Do you want<\/i> to be sold to the highest bidder?"<\/div>

Sulky quiet.<\/div>

"I don't even know how to pick locks!" Sokka whispered harshly, flinging his hands up in exasperation. "It would be morning before I got you free, and then they'd look down, see your hands, and earthbend handcuffs right back on! …Come to think of it, why do they even include a lock anyway?"<\/div>

He jumped when Zuko spoke. The firebender was apparently sitting right next to him. "I think it's so nonbending soldiers can still use them." He hesitated for a moment, then continued: "I do see your point. But I can't trust you not to leave me here. I'd rather drag you down with me than let you get away while I'm still captured."<\/div>

Reaching out blindly, Sokka patted his way across his fellow prisoner's chest (ignoring his protests), shoulder, down his arm, and finally reached his linked hands. He grabbed some fingers at random and squeezed them tightly while waggling them up and down.<\/div>

"Here, we can shake on it. I promise I won't leave you down here."<\/div>

"Not good enough. And let go."<\/div>

Sokka did, grumbling. "Then what the hell is?<\/i>"<\/div>

Zuko took a deep breath. "I want you to make an oath on your honor. That's – Water Tribe warriors value that too, don't they?"<\/div>

They did. A lot (not as much as Zuko seemed to, but he was sort of obsessive so he didn't count). Particularly if they happened to be Chief Hakoda's son. Sokka hesitated for a long moment.<\/div>

Then again, the Southern Water Tribe also highly valued practicality! And what was more practical than making a temporary truce in order to survive?<\/div>

"I swear, on my honor<\/i>, that I will come back and help you escape too." Sokka waited, and then elbowed Zuko when no response came. "Finally good enough?"<\/div>

Zuko elbowed him back, with considerably more force and deadly aim. Sokka collapsed forward, clutching his gut and wheezing. He heard the prince shuffling to his feet in the dark. "I guess it will do."<\/div>

"…Jerk…" Sokka choked out. Zuko ignored him, tilting his head up and breathing a short gust of flame. The red fire briefly lit up the dark hole, allowing Zuko to examine the walls for a moment before darkness descended once more. The prince repeated this technique several times. By the time Sokka had recovered, the latest breath of fire revealed a satisfied smile on Zuko's face. In the dim, flickering firelight, it was a surprisingly handsome expression. Not even the scar could make it look sinister.<\/div>

"I thought so," he said, allowing his flames to go out. "This wall over here is the best. There's a root sticking out near the top that you can grab."<\/div>

Sokka stood and strode over to join Zuko at said wall. It wasn't much of a walk – the hole in its entirety was barely five feet across. He peered up, but all he could see was formless darkness, with a few stars peeking through. He'd just have to take Zuko's word for it.<\/div>

"All right, let's do this!" He cheered quietly, flexing his climbing muscles. "Bend over so I can step on you."<\/div>

Zuko hissed angrily, but when Sokka felt blindly in his direction, he found the firebender already crouched and ready. Grinning a little – it wasn't every day he got the chance to literally walk all over Fire Nation royalty – Sokka placed his hands against the dirt wall for balance, and stepped up on to Zuko's shoulders.<\/div>

"Okay, stand up."<\/div>

Zuko grunted, and smoothly stood. In fact, he moved with such ease that Sokka, who had been expecting some shaky fumbling or hesitation, was caught off guard and lost his balance. He fell backwards, hitting his head on the opposite wall, and his flailing feet brought Zuko down on top of him. For the second time, the two boys ended up sprawled all over each other in the dirt.<\/div>

Zuko rolled over onto his stomach, paused a moment, then firmly headbutted Sokka. Of course, their heads weren't quite aligned in the darkness so it ended up more like Zuko just slammed his face into Sokka's armpit. Which was still painful, but also just felt sort of weird. Sokka retaliated automatically by clamping his arm down and holding Zuko's head in place. It was only when Zuko started struggling to get free that he realized what he'd done.<\/div>

"Ha! Suffer the stench of man<\/i>," he crowed quietly. And then immediately after, remembered that Zuko could blow fire. With a yelp, he let go. "I mean – um, just kidding!"<\/div>

Zuko snarled incoherently and bit his elbow. Sokka had to clap his hands over his mouth to keep from shouting in surprise and pain. He settled for repeatedly kneeing Zuko in the butt (all he could reach). Finally, Zuko let go and spat on the ground.<\/div>

"You taste terrible."<\/div>

Sokka blew gently on his injured elbow. Zuko had teeth like a vise<\/i>. "Oh, shut up, you cannibal. Let's just try again."<\/div>

The second attempt went much better. Sokka managed to keep his balance as Zuko stood, feet planted firmly on the firebender's shoulders. Of course, the rim of the hole was still out of reach. But he was able to dig his fingers into the dirt wall and slowly inch higher, until he was on his tiptoes on Zuko's shoulders. Then he stepped on Zuko's head – for once the prince's mostly bald hairstyle came in handy, since his scalp made for decently solid footing. Not that he seemed to appreciate the boot on his cranium, judging by the steady stream of quiet swears he was muttering, but he didn't have much choice in the matter.<\/div>

Sokka scrabbled upwards, stretching as high as he could in search of the root. Finally, he found it. A couple tugs revealed that it would indeed be strong enough to support his weight, so he grabbed hold and used it to help himself scale the last foot and a half left to the grassy turf above. Heaving with all his might, he managed to flop himself out of the pit like a leopard-seal beaching itself on an ice floe. He lay there, panting, for several minutes before crawling quietly away from the pit into the cover of some nearby bushes. Once he was sure no one had noticed his escape, he peered out between the branches to assess the situation.<\/div>

It wasn't as bad as it could have been – but that wasn't saying much. Sure, three of the guards were sleeping around a low campfire, but the one on watch was the earthbender. Not to mention, they'd all slept in their armor, with their weapons close at hand. At least there really were only four men; if he or Zuko had miscounted then there would have been no chance for victory at all. Sokka's escape had also gone unnoticed so far, which was good. They weren't leaving until morning. He had time to plot.<\/div>

---<\/div>

Part Two<\/a><\/div>
<\/a>
","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/58596.html?view=comments#comments","category":["avatar: the last airbender","gen"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/58208.html","pubDate":"Sun, 14 Oct 2012 21:43:30 GMT","title":"till the end","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/58208.html","description":"Title<\/b>: till the end
Summary: <\/b>There is a girl, Lucy. She is blonde and busty and fond of short skirts, and pouts a lot, and isn't dating him. She laughs like summertime. There's a rock on her finger worth more than his life will ever be.
Note: <\/b>Title taken from, and fic loosely inspired by 'White Houses' by Vanessa Carlton.



love, or something, ignites in my veins<\/i>
and I pray it never fades<\/i>
-White Houses, Vanessa Carlton<\/p>

---<\/p>

He has eleven girlfriends at any given time. They all know about each other, and are willing to share – because he's persuasive and they're not really that invested anyway. At least six of them have more than one boyfriend of their own. They are typically quite fond of makeup and short skirts, and they like to pout a lot and dye their hair blonde, and when they kiss him their mouths taste smooth and fake from lipstick, an oily sensation that doesn't fade for a long time after.<\/p>

There is a twelfth girl, Lucy. She is blonde and busty and fond of short skirts, and pouts a lot, and isn't dating him. She laughs like summertime. Her eyes are blue and innocent and she thinks his dating habits are disgusting, and leans into his side, smiling with her eyes closed, and falls asleep like that while he watches her and ignores his quietly buzzing phone. They stay that way for hours. She is his oldest friend. There's a rock on her finger worth more than his life will ever be.<\/p>

She steals his sunglasses one day and they cover half her face. She's grinning. Loke watches and waits for a chance to take them back, but it never comes so he tells her she can keep them. She tries to return them then, but he reminds her he has several spares so it's fine. Her smile slowly fades, and her fingers slide across the lens over her eyes.<\/p>

"That's right," she says slowly. "I forgot."<\/p>

Loke smiles hard to make up for her slight frown. "You never know when you might need one."<\/p>

He never sees her wearing the sunglasses again.<\/p>

---<\/p>

He visits her one night in her bedroom, climbing up the terrace to her unlocked window and pushing it open. She likes to lean out and count the stars. Usually she would be doing that right now, but she had a talk with her father today and she's sobbing into her pillow. Loke climbs onto the bed behind her and wraps his arms around her. She turns seamlessly to sob into his chest instead, and he rests his cheek on her head and stays there until his shirt is soaked through and his arm is numb from her weight and Lucy's eyes are dry and the stars are shining brighter than the moon.<\/p>

"Thank you," she says.<\/p>

Loke shrugs, but doesn't say anything. Lucy sighs softly, her breath puffing gently against his collarbone, and she is warm against him and her hair is softer than silk. He sighs too. He sometimes wants to ask her if this is worth it, but he's a little afraid of her reply. She has run away before and left him behind. She wrote him a postcard and told him where to find her, and he had been the one to tell her father where she was. It's hard to explain why. He was angry.<\/p>

Now the ring on her finger gleams in the dark and he can't pry his eyes away, but if she left again she wouldn't tell him where to find her. And she's squirming even closer and whispering to him everything her father said in a very small, emotionless voice, and her closet is full of dresses that are the height of elegance and cover her all the way down to her ankles.<\/p>

Loke closes his eyes and listens in silence.<\/p>

---<\/p>

Her legs are long and pale and exposed for the world to see, the dress ripped roughly high across her thighs. Diamonds dangle from her ears and pearls glitter in her hair, long white gloves on her arms and her lips painted a dark pink. She's smiling, eyes bright with triumph. Loke excuses himself from his date and leaves the restaurant to join her. She laughs and loops her arm through his. Her joy is infectious, and he follows where she leads.<\/p>

They go to a park and when he sits on a swing she sits down on his lap. Someone's gone all-out with her makeup. She's facing him and the world is dark, the sun dying and the stars already starting to glow, and her long, smooth legs grip around his own and her hands clench tight on his shoulders as he pushes them into the air.<\/p>

Lucy laughs, and so does he, and eventually a limo arrives to take her back home. He only remembers then what the party was for this time, and wishes he hadn't.<\/p>

"What's he like?" he asks.<\/p>

Lucy's smile doesn't dim. "Very, very rich. Of course."<\/p>

She gets off his lap, the chain links of the swing clinking, her ankles wobbling as the heels of her shoes sink down into the dirt. Loke smiles back very gently. "What an excellent match."<\/p>

Her snort ruins all the elegance she's got going, but she gains it back the next moment, when she leans forward and uses one hand to hold his head still by grabbing his hair. Her other hand grips the chain of the swing, just above his own. Lucy dips her head and grazes her lips across his cheekbone. The limo honks.<\/p>

She pulls back. "He's not as handsome as you," she says with a wink, and then turns and leaves. He watches her go and waits until the limo is long gone before reaching up to touch his cheek.<\/p>

Her lipstick left a streak of wax against his skin, smooth and cool and dark pink.<\/p>

It burns.<\/p>

---<\/p>

She was the first girl he'd ever kissed, but they were so young it didn't count. They had been playing house; he was the househusband carefully baking mud pies in the sun, and Lucy was the adventurer Amazon Queen wife who brought home trophies and gold and vassals in maid uniforms carrying an array of snacks. They ate them while they let the mud pies bake into hard clay under the summer heat, and Loke kissed Lucy while the maids weren't looking because that was what spouses did, and also because it distracted her long enough for him to steal the last strawberry from her plate.<\/p>

Now he kisses a busty blonde girl in a short skirt, and her pouting lips open under his own, and he licks out and tastes wax and sugar, and doesn't stop to breathe for as long as he can. Erika moans, and Loke kisses her again, letting his eyes drift closed, and he doesn't think any more.<\/p>

---<\/p>

Lucy is beautiful in white, but Loke likes her short skirts much better. She laughs and hugs him and he doesn't attend the wedding because he has a date with four of his girlfriends tonight. But he wishes her luck and gives her a present and leaves as soon as possible, walking down the dark street with his hands tucked into his pockets because he broke up with all of his girlfriends two days ago. He watches the clouds as he walks. It's drizzling on and off. He wonders when Lucy will open his present.<\/p>

He ends up waiting at the train station for seven hours, and the clouds have all blown away to reveal an endless universe, the moon large and bright white. It's not the only bright white thing in his vision. Loke turns.<\/p>

She truly is beautiful in white. She's almost glowing, looking like a gift that the stars are going to take back any moment now. When they hug, she smells of flowers he can't identify. He flips her veil back over her head; her eyes are wet, all the makeup scrubbed off her face. The ring on her finger has been joined by another .<\/p>

Loke sighs. "Just a little too late."<\/p>

Lucy laughs, and shoves a duffel bag into his chest. "Hold this while I go get changed."<\/p>

She returns several minutes later in a short blue skirt and a tight blue-and-white shirt. She's tied her hair up on one side, letting most of it fall loose, and has changed into a pair of long black boots. She looks like an entirely different person, much more real and down-to-earth but for the rings still on her finger.<\/p>

Lucy sashays very deliberately over to Loke. She must have left the wedding dress in the bathroom. She holds up the ticket he gave her. "You should have tried something like this sooner. Maybe it would have worked."<\/p>

Loke fingers the matching ticket in his pocket, and wonders what she thought of the letter that went with it. "I'm sorry, princess. I really am."<\/p>

She smiles softly. "I know."<\/p>

Then she's finally close enough, and she leans forward to tuck her ticket in his pocket to join the other one. She takes a step closer, her breasts flattening against his chest. Loke's hands fall to her hips.<\/p>

"Lucy," he says, and she kisses him. Her breath is sweet and warm and he could swear he feels her heartbeat through her lips. He closes his eyes, tilts his head to the side, and deepens the kiss, and she lets him. He slides his hands up her sides, over her shoulders, down her arms, then closes his hands around hers and lifts them up even as he pulls back.<\/p>

He lifts her left hand between them. The rings are small and elegant and beautiful and worth far more than Loke, and there are two of them and they fit together perfectly and he says, "I thought you didn't like my approach to dating."<\/p>

Lucy's lips pout, and he knows<\/i> how sweet they taste now. "Two is not the same as eleven. Loke – my husband is a very understanding man."<\/p>

The back of Loke's throat burns with bile. Lucy's fingers are loose in his grip. "I'm not. Call me a hypocrite, but I'm not understanding."<\/p>

She pulls her hands free of his, scowling. "He has my money. He doesn't want much else right now; so long as I wear this ring, and neither does my father. Can you understand that much?"<\/p>

"It's not the way it should be," he can't seem to help but say, but he's already drawing her back to him, wrapping himself around her and shivering at her warm skin.<\/p>

Lucy's reply is some time coming, because her mouth is so soft and smooth and it doesn't taste like anything but warm delicate skin and Loke won't let it get away long enough for her to form any words. He feels far weaker in the knees than anyone with his amount of experience should feel. Lucy keeps making tiny little noises in the back of her throat.<\/p>

Finally, she pushes him away. Her eyes are serious. "This is how it's going to have to be now," she says. "This is the way it is."<\/p>

Loke should insist otherwise, but he's not an idiot. He nods once. "Okay."<\/p>

And she smiles then, grins wide and open and takes three steps back to twirl under the stars, laughing out loud, giving a huge whoop of success, and Loke watches her with a smirk. After a minute he steps forward and catches her off her feet mid-spin, then sits down in the wet grass and kisses her until the train arrives, and then they get on and ride it far, far away.<\/p>

The ring on her finger reminds them both that they will have to return.<\/p>

For now, they don't care.<\/p>
<\/a>
","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/58208.html?view=comments#comments","category":["fairy tail","loke\/lucy"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/57898.html","pubDate":"Fri, 28 Sep 2012 16:40:44 GMT","title":"Milkshake","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/57898.html","description":"Title: <\/b>Milkshake
Summary: <\/b>Kuroko's milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
Note: <\/b>Everyone\/Kuroko, particularly GoM\/Kuroko and Kagami\/Kuroko.



It all started when Maji Burger discontinued their vanilla milkshake. They took it off the menu due to a lack of public interest, in favor of strawberry milkshakes instead. Kagami ate a giant stack of burgers as usual, chatting idly with his teammate, and only noticed in the middle of his seventh burger that he was talking to an empty chair. Kuroko had disappeared without warning. He grunted in annoyance, but wasn't too bothered because at least it was better for his nerves than appearing<\/i> without warning. After he finished eating, he balled the wrappers up and threw them in the trash, then went home and didn't think anything more about it.<\/p>

When he arrived at basketball practice the next day, a little late due to his history teacher holding him back to yell at him for sleeping in class, Kagami was surprised to find all the Seirin regulars huddled together on one side of the room. He wondered if he was missing out on a strategy session or something. Shrugging, he wandered over to them, only to step back in surprise and no little fear when they all turned on him at once.<\/p>

"You<\/i>," Riko snarled. "What have you done, you Bakagami?!"<\/p>

"W-what?" Kagami spluttered, only to cower back as Hyuuga in full-on clutch mode loomed over him.<\/p>

"You're making life difficult for your seniors again<\/i>," he snarled with a sinister grin. "I think we should teach you a lesson this time."<\/p>

A desperate glance towards the other regulars showed their would be no support coming from that direction – Izuki, Mitobe, Koganei, and Tsuchida all frowned at him, and even Kiyoshi looked disappointed. Kagami desperately whirled around, looking for Kuroko – surely his 'shadow' would be on his side or at least explain why everyone else wasn't<\/i> – only to blink in surprise. He instantly realized the problem.<\/p>

Kuroko was on the other side of the court, practicing some passes with the reserve first-year players. That in itself wasn't unusual – he was a good teacher, so long as his students didn't forget he was there. And passes were of course his specialty. But the aura that surrounded him was extremely abnormal; Kuroko seemed to be radiating a deep displeasure. Even his usual deadpan expression didn't conceal it at all. He didn't appear to be angry, exactly, but he was clearly far from happy.<\/p>

"I didn't do that!" Kagami protested, a little annoyed that everyone's first thought seemed to be that he had done something wrong. "We hardly even talked yesterday! He ditched me and went home."<\/p>

"Why did he ditch you, then?" Riko asked doubtingly, crossing her arms.<\/p>

Kagami snorted. "Who the hell knows? All I know is, we went to the Maji Burger and found out they've stopped selling the vanilla shakes he usually gets. Maybe he went home since he couldn't get –"<\/p>

He was cut off as a basketball zoomed just past his head, rebounding violently off the wall behind him. Kagami totally didn't shriek like a girl. He did jump about three feet into the air, though.<\/p>

"What the hell, Kuroko?<\/i>" he screeched. He'd been able to feel heat coming off that ball. He'd heard it whistling less than an inch away from his ear. It might have taken out a few of his hairs. He might be permanently traumatized.<\/p>

Across the room, Kuroko gave a polite bow, completely ignoring the way everyone in the gym was staring at him as though he'd just attempted homicide on a fellow teammate… which it looked like he very well might have done.<\/p>

"I apologize for the lack of warning," Kuroko said in his usual calm voice. "I was demonstrating the ignite pass. Kagami-kun, please catch the ball next time."<\/p>

Then he turned back to the three terrified first-years, and resumed his coaching.<\/p>

Across the room, the regulars watched Kuroko with wide eyes for a long, long minute. Finally, Koganei broke the silence. "I always thought Kuroko was the most normal<\/i> one out of the Generation of Miracles."<\/p>

Riko swallowed hard, but tried to affect a cheery laugh. "So what if he's in a bad mood? He'll just go get a shake at a different store, and then he'll be back to normal again! Nothing to worry about!"<\/p>

There was no reason why she shouldn't be right. And yet somehow, as the Seiren team watch their pass specialist continue his instruction with a dangerous aura almost visibly darkening the room, none of them could quite believe it would be that easy.<\/p>

---<\/p>

It was a good thing they didn't get their hopes up. The next three days passed much the same as the first had. Kuroko no longer accompanied Kagami home past the Maji Burger, but he didn't seem to be getting his daily milkshakes anywhere else, judging by his continuing bad mood. By the time Friday came around and nothing had improved, Riko declared that something had to be done.<\/p>

"We can't be an effective team if you're all jumping in fear whenever Kuroko passes you a ball! He's our passing specialist!" she snapped. "Quit thinking he's going to murder you!"<\/p>

"But Coach," Izuki protested in a very sensible voice, even forgoing puns for once, "He really might. Look at him."<\/p>

As one, their heads swiveled around to Kuroko, once again aiding his fellow freshman. Though he looked as calm as ever, the basketball he was dribbling was making a strange sound as it kept hitting the floor very<\/i> hard. Hyuuga winced. "I… think those juniors have learned enough lately."<\/p>

It was true; the first-years had been receiving lots of passing lessons the past few days, as none of the regulars felt very safe receiving Kuroko's passes right now. It wasn't really fair to them, but… none of the regulars wanted to deal with Kuroko right now either…<\/p>

Riko was silent for a moment, before rallying. "Fine then! We've got to get him his milkshakes again! This is ridiculous!"<\/p>

Then, immediately ensuring that no one would ever dare to call her a coward as long as she lived, Riko called Kuroko over and asked him, point-blank, why he was not just getting his vanilla milkshakes from another store.<\/p>

Kuroko blinked. "Eh. How did you know that was bothering me?"<\/p>

Everyone gaped. Riko coughed. "Um. I'm very observant. So?"<\/p>

Kuroko's expression, of course, remained the same. "I have been getting Maji vanilla shakes for the past five years. They are the best in this area that are not too expensive. I don't intend to get them from anywhere else."<\/p>

Everyone gaped – again. Was this really Kuroko speaking? Since when had he been so childishly stubborn? Even Riko was lost for words, just staring blankly at the deadpan boy.<\/p>

Luckily, an unexpected visitor saved her from having to think of a response to that. Kise Ryouta slipped into the gym to the tune of shrieking girls, and slammed the doors shut behind him. After panting quietly for a moment, he looked up a wide grin.<\/p>

"Kurokocchi~!" He sang as he made his way across the court. "Let's go have fun today! We can – u<\/i>wah!<\/i> What's wrong?!"<\/p>

Kuroko turned to face his old teammate, radiating doom. "Hello, Kise-kun. Maji Burger has taken vanilla milkshakes off the menu."<\/p>

Kise's face paled instantly. Somehow, he seemed to already know what this lack of vanilla milkshakes entailed, judging by the pitying glance he cast toward the Seirin team. But he brightened quickly enough. "Then you have<\/i> to come with me! There's this place near my house – it's a little expensive but I'll treat you – they make the best milkshakes!"<\/p>

Kuroko was silent for a long, considering moment. The aura of destruction around him seemed to be considering retreat. "…Do they have vanilla?"<\/p>

Kise laughed, and threw an arm around Kuroko's shoulders. Everyone flinched in fear of what would happen to him. "Of course!"<\/p>

Kuroko was quiet for another time. Then he turned his head up towards Kise, and without even removing the boy's arm from his shoulders, spoke. "I will go with you after practice, then. Thank you, Kise-kun."<\/p>

The corners of his lips curved up the tiniest amount.<\/p>

His aura of doom disappeared instantly, replaced with something that seemed to radiate puppies and kittens and rainbows and sparkles and pheromones<\/i> or something<\/i>, because was that a (microscopic) smile<\/i> on Kuroko's face?!<\/p>

Kise fainted. No one could blame him. Riko found herself drooling slightly, for once not because of anyone's athletic prowess. Kagami looked to be blushing. Everyone had to fight down a sudden urge to hug Kuroko, or worse.<\/p>

The smile disappeared, but the happiness surrounding Kuroko did not fade as he crouched to the floor, quietly inquiring, "Kise-kun? Are you okay?"<\/p>

Kise gurgled a little.<\/p>

Riko shook herself out of her trance first. She quickly wiped the drool from her mouth, and cleared her throat loudly until the rest of her team had also snapped out of it. They looked very shaken.<\/p>

"The fuck was that?<\/i>" Kagami muttered, placing a hand on his – no doubt pounding – heart.<\/p>

Riko smiled. "It seems Kuroko has yet another hidden ability…" she murmured.<\/p>

Kuroko poked Kise several times, finally succeeding in waking the model up. He instantly latched on to the stoic boy, enveloping him in a clingy hug and weeping loudly: "Oh, Kurokocchiiiiii!"<\/p>

Kuroko stared across the room. "Kise-kun," he said after a moment. "This is quite uncomfortable. Please release me."<\/p>

…And just like that, he was back to normal. Seirin breathed a collective sigh of relief.<\/p>

---<\/p>

Of course, it didn't last long. Kise's gourmet vanilla milkshake date (as he called it) seemed to tide Kuroko over through the weekend and even partially into the next week, but at that point, his dark mood returned as if it had never left. Once more, his passes were fast and hard, and players receiving them could've sworn the basketballs Kuroko sent their way looked more like grinning skulls than any sports equipment. Once more, Kuroko's silence became ominous rather than just matter-of-course. It was lucky they didn't have any matches coming up, because Riko seriously doubted that Kuroko's misdirection would even be possible like this.<\/p>

Then again, he might just scare all the opposing players away…<\/p>

No. It wasn't worth it, not when Kuroko's own teammates were just as terrified. Even #2 was keeping a distance, cuddling close to Riko (not that she minded). Something must be done. Again. But what?<\/p>

After witnessing for themselves the remarkable power offering vanilla milkshakes to Kuroko currently had, few on the team had been able to resist suggesting it themselves. Kagami in particular seemed vulnerable to this temptation, and nearly every day he would 'casually' suggest that Kuroko go check out some other local diners and stores with him for a good vanilla milkshake. None of these attempts succeeded, however. Kuroko was apparently holding fast to his stubborn decision not to seek out vanilla milkshakes from any regular store except Maji Burger.<\/p>

Nor did he accept Kise's offer to take him back to the store near his house. This came as a surprise at first, until Kuroko quietly mentioned just what sort of price range vanilla milkshakes were in at this 'gourmet' dessert store. The knowledge that Kise had been able to casually pay that<\/i> left several Seirin players grumbling about stupid famous rich models who didn't appreciate their money, and cleared up nicely the issue of why Kuroko had refused to accept the offer a second time.<\/p>

Still, even if Kise and Kagami's best efforts weren't good enough, apparently the rest of the Generation of Miracles was exempt from this stonewalling. At least, just as he had with Kise, Kuroko allowed his ex-teammates to treat him to one vanilla milkshake each.<\/p>

The way this ended up happening was rather odd, and smelled suspiciously of some kind of competition or possibly ritual amongst the Teiko graduates. One day, just as the Seirin team was leaving the school together before splitting up and heading home in different directions, a rickshaw pulled up in front of them. The person riding the bike, Takao, slumped over the handlebars, panting and breathing heavily. The person in the cart sat calmly, holding a small cooler in his left hand. He glanced at the startled team as if surprised.<\/p>

"Ah, Kuroko. What a coincidence seeing you here." Midorima remarked.<\/p>

Takao stopped panting like a dog long enough to laugh derisively. "Coincidence… my ass! Midorima, you jerk – you told me… this was urgent!"<\/p>

Midorima adjusted his glasses, but didn't reply. Instead, he completely ignored his current teammate and instead turned back to Kuroko. "I have my lucky item for the day here," he said, lifting the bag. "A chilled beverage. Of course I got only the best."<\/p>

He paused. Kuroko stared at him, along with the rest of the Seirin team. Midorima sighed harshly, as if he'd been giving some clue that they had all chosen to ignore.<\/p>

"Aquarius has very bad luck today," he said. "Kuroko, I suggest you join me for a milkshake in order to make up for your negative horoscope." He unzipped the cooler and lifted a familiar drink out of it. "They're vanilla."<\/p>

There was another silence.<\/p>

Then Kuroko calmly turned to Kagami and set his sports bag on top of his partner's. "Please carry this home for me," he said, before joining Midorima in the rickshaw, accepting the glass his former teammate handed to him.<\/p>

Kagami wasn't pleased by this turn of events. "Why should I carry this? It's heavy, and stinks like sweat! Carry it yourself!"<\/p>

Kuroko paused just before taking a sip. "Kagami-kun," he scolded, "can't you see that such a heavy bag would add too much weight for Takao-kun to pedal?"<\/p>

Takao made a noise very much like a sob. What about your weight, Kuroko?!<\/i> he wanted to scream, but he was too tired to get the words out.<\/p>

Kagami wasn't thus hampered, however. He opened his mouth to demand Kuroko get down from that stupid rickshaw right this minute and carry his own damn bag –<\/p>

But then Kuroko took a sip of his milkshake. His lips twitched up around the straw.<\/p>

Flowers and hearts and sparkles and those mysterious Kuroko smile pheromones <\/i>burst out in every direction, somehow even more intense than last time. Pulses raced. Cheeks flushed. Brains temporarily shut down.<\/p>

The tiny expression was gone the next moment, as if a dream. Kuroko took another thoughtful sip. "This is quite good, Midorima-kun," he said. "Thank you."<\/p>

Midorima's hand shook a little as he adjusted his glasses. "I-it was merely coincidence," he declared.<\/p>

Kuroko was busy taking another sip, so he wasn't able to respond verbally. His quiet hum sent shivers down the back of every person present.<\/p>

Kagami, face as red as his hair, shut his mouth. Then he opened it, then shut it again. Finally, he spoke, sounding a little faint. "I'll just carry this, then."<\/p>

Kuroko nodded at him, then turned his impassive gaze to Takao. The poor exhausted boy had already been overheated from his exertions; at this point he looked ready to keel over from a fever.<\/p>

"Will you be able to take us to my house?" Kuroko inquired politely. "I can give you directions."<\/p>

Takao didn't even consider refusing. "Sure," he panted, before straining to start pedaling once more. At first the rickshaw moved slowly, but it began to pick up speed soon enough, and by the time it rounded the corner, it was going at a respectable jogging pace. Takao's stamina was admirable.<\/p>

The Seirin basketball team watched it go in silence, unable to process what exactly had just happened. As if to make things even more confusing for them, Kise sprinted around the opposite corner and skidded to a halt in front of them less than a minute after the rickshaw had disappeared. The sound of screaming girls drifted up the street from whence he had come.<\/p>

"Where's Kurokocchi?" he demanded.<\/p>

Mitobe pointed silently in the direction he'd gone. Kise growled, clearly very frustrated. "It was Midorimacchi, wasn't it?!" He received a nod, and actually stomped his foot angrily, like a small child.<\/p>

"Aaargh! Stupid Midorimacchi!" Kise shouted, before crumpling in on himself and mumbling pitifully, "I <\/i>wanted to be the one to see that face again…"<\/p>

The Seirin team stared at him. None of them were really capable of producing words yet. Eventually Kise straightened, and pointed an accusing finger at Kagami. "Kagamicchi! Why didn't you stop him?"<\/p>

Kagami reared back, insulted. "Oi! I did! I – I mean, I was going to! But then he took a drink and he – and he smiled<\/i> and… I forgot."<\/p>

Kise moaned envyingly. "Not fair<\/i>," he whimpered. Before he could say anything further, the female screams in the background suddenly got much louder. The fangirls had rounded the corner and spotted the famous model.<\/p>

"There he is!" One of them yelled. Kise yelped and took off running. The fangirls thundered past, hot on his heels.<\/p>

The street cleared once more.<\/p>

"…I guess we should go home, then," Kiyoshi finally said. Dazedly, his teammates agreed, and they wandered off vacantly towards their respective destinations, still not quite coherent.<\/p>

---<\/p>

The same pattern continued for the next several days. Kuroko seemed normal at first, but slowly began showing withdrawal symptoms by way of impersonating the incarnation of Death itself (at least to his teammate's eyes). This time, taking pity on the first-years, Riko told Kuroko that he should build up his stamina by running laps around the gym. There wasn't really any way to describe how it felt being constantly circled by such a menacing vibe… it was akin to being tied up, doused in honey, and left right in front of a colony of fire ants. Only maybe worse.<\/p>

Kuroko, should he suddenly go insane and decide to murder everyone, would not laugh evilly. He wouldn't seem angry or mental or happy or anything – he'd appear as calm and rational as ever, while he matter-of-factly stabbed you to death with a pen (Riko decided not to ask him to help her with managerial tasks any longer).<\/p>

The package from Murasakibara could not have arrived too soon. It was addressed to the Seirin basketball club, and Riko tore it open with mild interest, confused as to why anyone would need to send them anything, from Akita no less. Upon seeing the contents, her eyebrows raised up high, and she called Kuroko over.<\/p>

"I think this is for you," she told him, handing over the short note that had sat on top of the other contents of the package.<\/p>

This isn't a milkshake<\/i>, it read in large, lazy handwriting, but it's vanilla and it tastes pretty good. Sorry I can't feed it to you myself, but it's a long trip.<\/i><\/p>

There was no signature, but Kuroko nodded in recognition. "Ah, this is from Murasakibara-kun."<\/p>

The rest of the team had been eavesdropping. As soon as they heard the sender was from the Generation of Miracles, they fell all over themselves to gather around Kuroko in hopes of seeing his smiling expression (the first they'd ever seen from him yet). Kagami in particular used his large build to his advantage, blatantly shoving teammates out of his way, and finally peering over their heads when that didn't work.<\/p>

Kuroko did not seem to notice his rapt audience. Instead, he neatly folded Murasakibara's note and tucked it into his pocket. Then he reached inside the box and withdrew its remaining contents: a single bag of vanilla-flavored hard milk candies. Kuroko opened it, withdrew a candy, unwrapped that, and placed it in his mouth. The Seirin team waited with bated breath, not daring to blink.<\/p>

"…As I thought, Murasakibara-kun knows snacks best," Kuroko said, the milk candy clicking slightly against his teeth. His mouth didn't twitch this time – the movement was infinitesimally slower, just barely too gradual to be called a twitch.<\/p>

But his lips curved up slightly for a moment, and oh dear lord<\/i> the candy was stretching his cheek slightly and that shouldn't be so cute but nothing had ever been cuter and the sparkles and the freaking pheromones were just completely overwhelming and there weren't even any distractions this time, they could just bask in the glow<\/i>.<\/p>

So they did.<\/p>

Kuroko finished his milk candy, and swallowed. The team swallowed with him, mouths dry.<\/p>

A thought occurred to Riko – her first since Kuroko had opened the candy. "W-what did he mean, sorry he can't feed it to you?"<\/p>

Kuroko glanced at her, then quietly opened a second candy. He reached out and placed it in Furihata (who was closest)'s palm. "Please toss that to me."<\/p>

Furihata did so, looking a little glassy-eyed. Kuroko watched the candy's trajectory, then positioned himself under it and opened his mouth. He caught the candy on his tongue before closing his mouth once more. Everyone saw the flash of pink. Everyone experienced palpitations.<\/p>

"Murasakibara-kun often used to feed me like that," Kuroko remarked casually. "He liked the way I didn't miss his passes."<\/p>

Kagami spoke hoarsely. "I want to do that."<\/p>

"There's no need," Kuroko pointed out. "I already have a candy right now."<\/p>

"After, then," Kagami insisted, a little desperately. "I'm your 'light', right? I should be the one to send you passes!"<\/p>

"You rarely ever pass to me," Kuroko said. "I send passes to you. In any case, I am fully capable of feeding myself. But for now, we should resume practice. If you would like to pass to me, Kagami-kun, you can do so with basketballs."<\/p>

He set the bag of milk candies back into their box, placed that against the wall, and walked away to retrieve a basketball. The rest of the team gaped after him for a time before they remembered that they were supposed to be practicing too, and trailed behind him to the court. Luckily, it took Riko just as long to recall this fact, so she didn't bother to scold them.<\/p>

As welcome as these moments were, both in general and in comparison to the doom and gloom that had been surrounding Kuroko lately, the Seirin basketball team began to wonder if they weren't slightly unhealthy.<\/p>

…Not to mention addictive.<\/p>

---<\/p>

By the time Murasakibara's candies had run out – which didn't take long – Seirin was already dreading the return of Kuroko's death aura. They were also anticipating the return of his smile when the next member of the Generation of Miracles came by. Kiyoshi remarked that it was a lot like being booted back and forth between heaven and hell; terrifying and rapturous in turns. No one could disagree, but despite hating the way their lives had become more about Kuroko's mood than basketball of late, no one was quite able to want to give this painful pleasure up. They were all becoming masochists or something, simply because of the power of Kuroko's smallest smile and vanilla milkshake addiction.<\/p>

So they suffered his displeasure fairly well, just waiting until it lifted. Of course, they attempted to lift his mood themselves, as much as they were able; but to no avail. Kagami even brought some vanilla-flavored chips to practice one day, and offered them to Kuroko, but the quiet boy showed absolutely no interest in the snack. Apparently, unless it came from Murasakibara, the king of snacks himself, nothing less than a proper vanilla milkshake was acceptable. Kuroko's mood – along with the rest of whatever room he was in, it began to seem – remained black.<\/p>

Thus the arrival of Aomine and Momoi was strongly welcomed, despite the way they disturbed practice by coming almost exactly halfway through it. They sauntered in through the doors of the gym as if they owned it, and captured everyone's attention instantly.<\/p>

Both of them reeled back visibly when they encountered Kuroko's death aura. Aomine winced, and ran a hand through his hair with a mutter of, "Shit, he really wasn't kidding."<\/p>

Momoi, on the other hand, nearly burst out crying. "Tetsu-kun!" she wailed, snatching him up in a hug, "Don't be so sad, it breaks my heart to see you sad!"<\/p>

Normally everyone would be jealous of Kuroko, given the way Momoi was flattening him against her F-cup breasts. Recent events, however, meant that they were almost all as equally jealous of her<\/i>.<\/p>

Kuroko's voice sounded mildly pleased when he spoke, though the way it was muffled against Momoi's ample chest made it hard to tell, and the menace surrounding him didn't really disappear. "Momoi-san, Aomine-kun. What are you doing here?"<\/p>

Kagami stepped forward eagerly, glaring at Aomine. "Come for a rematch? I'll beat your ass into the ground!"<\/p>

Aomine totally ignored Kuroko's current 'light'. "Yo, Tetsu. It's been a while since we've gone out for ice-cream, right? We can play some streetball, too. Whaddaya say?"<\/p>

Kuroko gently extracted himself from Momoi's hug. His dark mood and menacing aura seemed to have, once again, vanished. "That sounds very pleasant," he said. "Will Momoi-san be accompanying us?"<\/p>

Aomine scratched the back of his head. "Eh, yeah, she won't stop nagging me otherwise. Going on and on about how the girlfriend should be the one going out on dates, and crap like that."<\/p>

Momoi pouted, hugging Kuroko's arm. "Well, it's true! You're<\/i> the one that shouldn't come on our<\/i> date!"<\/p>

Aomine rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whatever, you delusional freak. Anyway, at least it's like old times I guess."<\/p>

Kuroko nodded thoughtfully. "That's true. Then, please take a seat. I will join you after practice is over."<\/p>

At this point, Kagami's anger grew too strong to hold back. "No way! I'm not gonna let that guy<\/i> spy on me during practice!" He pointed at Aomine. "Either play a match against me or leave!"<\/p>

Aomine snarled a little. "Like I'd ever need<\/i> to spy on you, you weakling. I still<\/i> don't get what Tetsu sees in you. Maybe I should play you; you need a reality check."<\/p>

The two 'lights' faced off, glaring fiercely at each other. Tension bubbled in the air. Momoi stepped between the two of them, with her arms crossed in an 'X'. "No!" she snapped. "Quit it! We didn't come here to interrupt their practice, Dai-chan, so leave him alone. And you –" she eyed Kagami up and down quickly, then shook her head. "Right now, you'd just lose again. Go train some more."<\/p>

Kagami growled dangerously, and Aomine grumbled, but both of them backed down. For Kagami, at least half of the reason for that was Riko's furious expression behind Momoi. Apparently, she didn't take well to his attempt to interrupt team practice for a second time by challenging a member of the Generation of Miracles.<\/p>

"Triple<\/i> practice for you," she intoned in a low voice, then clapped her hands together briskly. "All right everyone, let's get back to it!"<\/p>

The team separated, heading back to their practice. Momoi and Aomine sat down in the bleachers, idly watching the practice. Aomine got bored shortly into it, and rolled over to take a nap. Momoi, however, focused her full attention on the players – everyone, not just Kuroko. It was always useful to have the most current data, after all.<\/p>

Riko knew what she was doing, but let her get away with it. Their schools wouldn't be facing each other again anytime soon after all, and besides, she felt like bragging a little. Seirin had improved a lot.<\/p>

After practice had finished, Kuroko emerged from the changing room in street clothes and headed over to join his ex-teammates. His current teammates sort of trailed after him – though he was no longer terrifying, he still hadn't smiled and they wanted to see it. They were currently in the process of realizing that he might not smile until he actually tasted the ice-cream – in which case they'd have to join the outing in order to see it. Most of them were willing to give up before going that far, if only for reasons of rapidly dwindling self-respect, but not all. Kagami was still determined to see the one expression anyone had ever provoked out of Kuroko. That smile would be adequate repayment for the indignity of having been forced to see Aomine's stupid face outside of a match. It was only fair, he told himself. And in the interest of fairness, he would stalk Kuroko for the rest of the damn evening if he had to!<\/p>

Luckily, this didn't turn out to be necessary. As he was lifting the strap of his sports bag over his neck, Kuroko asked, "Where would you like to go for the ice-cream?"<\/p>

Aomine, only just having woken from his nap, suppressed a yawn. He shrugged. "I dunno, I was thinking that place we used to go, near Teiko? It's kinda far, but there's a free court there, and it's the only place I really know off the top of my head anyway."<\/p>

And Kuroko said, in an almost nostalgic<\/i> tone: "That place is excellent."<\/p>

And Kuroko finally adjusted his strap correctly, and he lifted his head.<\/p>

And Kuroko was smiling.<\/p>

It was a wider, more defined smile than any of the others had been. Still nowhere close to being a grin or even the kind of smile a normal person would make, but this time it would have been clear even to a stranger that this was a smile, not just some beautiful muscle spasm. It lasted longer, too – a good three beats of silence, during which all of the previous cute imagery that had ever come to anyone's mind in their entire life was completely obliterated by the sheer power of this symmetrical little upward curve, and it was like they couldn't even see<\/i> for the sparkles, and the pheromones were absolutely overpowering, no one could resist, no one wanted to resist, no one wanted anything but Kuroko Tetsuya<\/i> –<\/p>

Momoi lurched forward, hearts in her eyes, moaning incoherently. Clearly all higher thought had completely abandoned her. Aomine reacted quickly, grabbing the back of her shirt and restraining her, though even he seemed a little off-balance.<\/p>

"Geez, Tetsu," he said in a voice that was only slightly strangled. "It's been a long time since I've seen you so happy."<\/p>

This echoed throughout everyone's heads for a moment.<\/p>

A long time.<\/p>

…A long time?<\/p>

"You've seen him this happy before?!<\/i>" Kagami yelled, still bracing himself on Fukuda and Tsuchida's shoulders – his knees had started feeling a little weak a moment ago. Totally the result of all his jumping practice.<\/p>

Aomine's glance was at once dismissive, unconcerned, and vastly superior. "Of course I have. Tetsu's been my best friend for five years."<\/p>

Apparently he had developed quite the immunity to Kuroko's smile in that time, as he was able to casually hoist the still-gibbering Momoi over his shoulder and turn back to Kuroko, who appeared to be politely confused as to why everyone was acting so odd. "Good job, Tetsu – she'll be out of it all night now. We won't have to worry about her going on about dating you the whole time. C'mon, let's head out."<\/p>

Kuroko sighed very gently. "I don't understand, but if we want to get ice-cream, play basketball, and arrive home at a reasonable hour, then we should leave now."<\/p>

Aomine grunted his agreement, and the two casually walked out of the gym together, chatting nonchalantly. This, more than any skills he had ever demonstrated on the basketball court, convinced the Seirin team that Aomine well deserved the title of ace for the Generation of Miracles.<\/p>

They<\/i> had been all but destroyed by the thing Aomine had managed to almost completely shrug off. Even Kagami was impressed. Of course that didn't mean he was happy; he was still really pissed off and if he could be certain that any attempts to walk wouldn't end in his legs giving out completely, then he would have chased after that smug bastard and attacked him without another thought. As it was, however, he just stared vacantly at the place where Kuroko had been standing, clinging to his teammates for support.<\/p>

"I think," Hyuuga said in a slightly shaky voice, "that this is getting out of hand."<\/p>

---<\/p>

Unfortunately, there wasn't really anything they could do. They were all but powerless, and knew it quite well at this point. The crazy cycle of near-homicide and near-heart-attack would just keep happening. There wasn't a single thing they could do to change that. And, despite fear for their lives, sanity, basketball abilities, and (with the exception of Riko) sexual orientation, none of them were entirely sure that they wanted<\/i> it to stop. Kiyoshi had been right – it was a whiplash-inducing trip from hell to heaven and back again, but somehow so very, very preferable to purgatory.<\/p>

Given this faltering resolve, perhaps it was a good thing that Riko soon realized there was only one more member of the Generation of Miracles left. Kuroko had only allowed each of his previous teammates to treat him once – actually, after Kise was refused so many times, none of the others had even made a second attempt. Perhaps once was too much for them. Or maybe they were all too acquainted with just exactly the emotional rollercoaster Team Seirin was on, and had no desire to experience it again. Or maybe there was some other reason altogether. In the end, it didn't really make much difference. The fact was, with only Akashi left, there would only be one more smile. After that, nothing less than a lifetime of Kuroko the Reaper awaited them. At least it would probably be a very short<\/i> lifetime. Even so, none of them were looking forward to it.<\/p>

So when Kuroko answered his cell-phone with the words, "Hello? Akashi-kun?" one afternoon, there were some very mixed feelings regarding the call. On the one hand, this would probably mean a brief respite from the way his stare seemed to beckon his teammates' souls out of their bodies, and his passes hurt<\/i> to catch. They'd get to see his smile again, and at this point the mere thought was almost enough to start Kagami blushing and Riko drooling.<\/p>

On the other hand… after this smile, there wouldn't be any more. Unless something drastic happened, the terror of Kuroko-without-vanilla-milkshakes would continue on, unending. The team would fall apart, no doubt about it – the only question was whether someone would get physically injured first, or just have a mental breakdown. This call, in a sense, signaled the end of the Seirin basketball team.<\/p>

Thus the mixed feelings.<\/p>

Kuroko did not speak for a long time after answering the phone. He stood in silence, holding it carefully up to his ear, oddly unaware of the way he was the focus of the room. Then again, that had held true for the past two weeks, and he hadn't seemed to notice yet the way no one forgot him anymore.<\/p>

Finally, Kuroko spoke. "The captain is effective as always," he said, then replied to some comment with, "Yes. Thank you. Well, until next time."<\/p>

He hung up and set down his phone. Everyone stared at him, torn between eagerness and depression. But Kuroko didn't smile. In fact, even as they watched, his extreme aura was fading away. He no longer exuded anger; nor did he seem particularly joyful. He didn't seem much of anything at all, actually, and it was only when Riko said, "Ah, Kuroko, where'd you go?" when the team realized what was going on.<\/p>

Kuroko was back to normal. Even though they had all been looking right at him, Riko had still<\/i> lost track of him. He was like a ghost. They couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling; he was as unreadable as he had ever been. The basketball in his hands was held in a loose, normal<\/i> grasp – not the death-grip he'd been using these past two weeks. Somehow, Akashi had done what Seirin had at this point believed to be impossible – in the space of a two-minute phone conversation, he had completely reverted Kuroko to normal to an extent they instinctively recognized to be permanent.<\/p>

They rejoiced<\/i>. They laughed and basked in the lack of deadly intent aimed their way. They enjoyed being able to look at Kuroko without wanting to either run away from him or sexually harass him. They celebrated the return of their team's future, their dreams, their easy companionship. They were just too happy to even care what Akashi had even said (and perhaps a little terrified to wonder – much as Aomine had proved himself the ace, Akashi had just proved<\/i> beyond doubt why he was captain by the Generation of Miracles).<\/p>

In short, they were having such a good time that they forgot Kuroko was even there. It was a full half-hour before they realized he had left practice; and even then it was only because a certain redheaded basketball idiot had gone missing as well.<\/p>

---<\/p>

Kagami munched his way through the usual stack of burgers. It was kind of nice, having Kuroko back. After he'd gotten used to the companionship, it had felt weird to come here and eat alone every day. Plus sometimes he forgot Kuroko wasn't there and ended up talking to himself and freaking people out (though that happened when Kuroko was there too, sometimes). He was a little surprised that Kuroko had skipped out on the latter half of practice though, much less asked him to come with.<\/p>

Then again, this was<\/i> a special occasion. Kagami eyed the vanilla milkshake Kuroko was calmly drinking. Apparently, Maji Burger had suddenly decided the demand for the beverage was high enough after all. Less than three weeks after they'd discontinued it. Despite all the customers even now complaining at the register that they had preferred the strawberry flavor. Immediately after Akashi had called Kuroko.<\/p>

…Right.<\/p>

He wasn't even going to question that. A lot of people thought he was stupid, but Kagami wasn't that<\/i> dumb. He would never wonder what Akashi had done. Some things were better off not even speculated about.<\/p>

He did have one question, however.<\/p>

"Kuroko?" Kagami asked, frowning thoughtfully and trying to act like he didn't care about whatever answer he might receive. "Why didn't you smile when you found out Maji Burger brought your shakes back?"<\/p>

Kuroko took a long sip, before answering quietly. "I am currently so happy that my face has frozen, Kagami-kun."<\/p>

"But…" Kagami cleared his throat awkwardly, "but you've gone back to normal, right? No more…" he waggled his fingers around his face, trying in vain to physically represent Kuroko's smile pheromones. "No one is all obsessed with you anymore."<\/p>

Kuroko blinked, uncomprehending. "Were they ever?"<\/p>

"…No. Never mind." Kagami shook his head much more emphatically than was necessary. He blamed the wind this created for the red spreading over his cheeks. Obviously that was the reason.<\/p>

After all, another customer had just asked if they could take the chair opposite Kagami since no one was using it. The chair which Kuroko was sitting in. The heaven had vanished as surely as the hell had. Kuroko was completely back to normal, even if he was<\/i> apparently happier than he'd ever been.<\/p>

There weren't any pheromones anymore. <\/i>They had gone when the smiles had.<\/p>

So there was absolutely no reason for Kagami's brain to be slowly emptying of all coherent thought, or for his blush to be getting darker and darker, or for his eyes to not want to drag away from the shape of Kuroko's lips around his straw, or for his ears to be so attuned to that slow, steady slurping that all other sound seemed to vanish. Because Kuroko was back to normal. He was invisible. Even if Kagami was staring straight at him, he would probably forget he was even there within the next two minutes. And he'd prove it, by staring straight at Kuroko until he forgot him, which he would<\/i> because Kuroko was back to normal.<\/p>

Ten minutes passed. Kuroko set his empty cup down on the table and exhaled slightly. "Kagami-kun, I think that was the best thing I have ever tasted," he said blandly.<\/p>

Kagami didn't reply at first. He was still staring at Kuroko, face completely flushed and pupils blown out wide. He looked psychotic.<\/p>

He opened his jaw creakily, and in a low, rough voice, said, "…Shit."<\/p>
<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/57898.html?view=comments#comments","category":["kagami\/kuroko","miracles\/kuroko","kuroko no basuke"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/57820.html","pubDate":"Fri, 14 Sep 2012 17:59:43 GMT","title":"Fire","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/57820.html","description":"Title:<\/b> Fire
Summary: <\/b>Li is just like Jet<\/i> in a way that he's never seen. And they're both still burning, and Jet wants Li more than he's ever wanted anything, and there's no way this could have ended well.
Notes: <\/b>Jet's POV means Zuko is called Li. It also means that Jet's issues feature prominently.


Li is burned, scarred from it, so angry<\/em> because of it – and he's strong despite being so broken down, and he's so full of hate and need and that familiar burning that never ends no matter how long it's been, and Jet wants him immediately.<\/p>

His desire only gets stronger when he hears Li speak, when he watches Li move like he's been made for exactly this, perfectly in time with Jet and silent and so in control but just sizzling<\/em> underneath it all, and his matching swords flash through the dark. And his eyes are bright, and his scar is so red and just everywhere, and every time Jet looks at it all he sees is his village burning.<\/p>

He wonders if it's easier to live with such visible scars. If maybe having them branded across his face would mean they wouldn't constrict his heart and hurt<\/em> so deeply and never ever stop burning inside him so hatefully. But one look at Li shoves that notion aside, because Li is just like Jet<\/em> in a way that he's never seen. No one else has been so exactly injured, burned to the point where their skin hardened into a shell and then cracked and spilled someone entirely new out, someone so terrible and lost and wanting to scream from the nightmares every night. Jet's breath catches because that is what he sees in Li and what he feels every moment in himself, and it makes him want<\/em> so badly.<\/p>

He wants Li by his side. He wants Li to hunt with him in the night, to walk with him in the day and to never leave no matter how terrible Jet has become because Li is exactly the same, he'll understand beyond what Smellerbee and Longshot could ever manage, he breathes the same air that always smells of smoke and burning flesh.<\/p>

Jet wants to grip Li's face in his hands and taste it, to see if the scar is salty or will become salty with tears or if it is completely dry and cracked and rough and hardened like stone. He wants to put his tongue out and taste the fire that lingers there. He wants to taste it everywhere in Li, because Li is made<\/em> of fire, that's all Jet can see in him and he understands, he's the same way, he can't ever escape the burning either. And Jet wants to go to sleep with Li there and wake up with Li there and fight with Li there, blood and steel and flames everywhere, the only light in the dark, and Li's face is still burning even now. It's never going to stop. Jet is never going to stop burning either, it just isn't as visible but it haunts him constantly.<\/p>

Jet wants it all so badly, and he doesn't understand how Li can say no. He's trying so hard to give up on what he's become, he's trying so hard to stifle everything that he's lived for these long years in the forest, and Li is trying too, Jet can see it. Second chances. Why<\/em> can't they do this together? It would be so much easier just because it's Li, because they had an instant connection that Jet knows<\/em> wasn't one-way (Li said yes too easily and moved with him in the dark and met his gaze and their understanding seared the air between them), because they are the same person just in different packaging and they could save each other.<\/p>

Li knows what it's like to live with fire all around. Li knows what it's like to fight yourself because you know it's wrong to be this way. Li had the fire forced upon him just as surely as Jet did, Li was happy once and then the Fire Nation burned that right out and left their embers inside him instead and they caught and lit and nothing can douse them now – but he's trying<\/em>, just like Jet. A second chance. They could do it together.<\/p>

Jet can't put any of it in words but he doesn't plan to give up. He doesn't plan to ever stop until he has Li in his bed and in his Freedom Fighters and combusting right there with him until maybe they destroy themselves or maybe manage to tamp it down to just a candle-sized flicker, something controllable but never extinguished.<\/p>

Jet wants Li. He's never wanted anything so much in his life.<\/p>

And then he sees Mushi bending fire and everything crashes down but he wants to laugh out loud because he still can't think of anything but the taste of Li's mouth and scar and heart, and he wants it more than ever, wants to burn himself all over again because of course he is just the same as Li<\/em>.<\/p>

Li is fire, just as Jet imagined. Except he controls it, not the other way around, and he is not just the one being burned, he's also the one burning Jet's parents and laughing, and Jet is still the same as him because he still wants<\/em> Li and he was going to kill that entire village and he is never going to stop burning no matter what he does.<\/p>

He won't let this break him, no matter how easy it would be to let it. He'll expose Li and maybe even kill him and then Jet will laugh and possibly cry, because Li is firebending scum and Jet has never identified with anyone so strongly.<\/p>

And maybe Li is a spy infiltrating Ba Sing Se and maybe he is just looking for a second chance, and maybe he will burn down the city and maybe he will just let it smother him until his flame goes out and he lives a life made of ashes, serving tea and so much less than he should be and Jet hates<\/em> that he cares so much.<\/p>

He can't let Li destroy the city; he can't let Li destroy himself<\/em> in the name of second chances, it's so painful to watch and he'd rather they both end in a rush of heat and red and that hate that never ends, that constant immolating life<\/em> on the brink of death, which brings nothing but<\/em> death, and Jet can manage that. He'll expose Li. He'll make sure it ends with fire.<\/p>

It can't go any other way. Because Jet still wants Li and they're both still burning, and they won't ever stop.<\/p>
<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/57820.html?view=comments#comments","category":["zuko\/jet","avatar: the last airbender"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/57573.html","pubDate":"Wed, 12 Sep 2012 04:34:21 GMT","title":"Coffee Shop","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/57573.html","description":"Title: <\/b>Coffee Shop
Summary: <\/b>Jet has become obsessed with a coffee shop. Jet hates<\/i> coffee. Smellerbee investigates, and gets a whole lot more than she expected.
Prompt: <\/b>Snuggly winter coffeeshop college AU for <\/a>droolovacocoa<\/b><\/a><\/span> as part of the Annual Jetko Exchange<\/b><\/a>.




Jet, who has hated coffee all his life and will vehemently extol the comparative virtues of any other drink<\/em>, has become obsessed with a coffee shop. He does his homework there. He goes there before class. He goes there after class. Sometimes, he goes there instead<\/em> of class. What's more, he doesn't seem at all ashamed of his sudden turnaround when confronted on it, merely smiling enigmatically and murmuring, "Coffee's not so bad…"<\/p>

Smellerbee, obviously, can't let that rest. There's no way. So she follows Jet one day to a small coffee shop just off campus, and slips in to a seat next to him at his corner table. He's got one of those little coffee stirrers in his mouth and is humming along to the music on the radio (he normally only likes loud rock, not acoustic anything), and doesn't even yell at her for following him there.<\/p>

"It's about time you showed up," he says instead, grinning at Smellerbee. "Isn't this place awesome?<\/em>"<\/p>

It's not so bad, Smellerbee supposes. The heating is just right and a relief from the snow outside, and the atmosphere is busy but still fairly relaxed. Mostly, it's an average coffee shop, and she has no idea why it would induce Jet to do such a complete 180.<\/p>

Then she sees the waiter.<\/p>

He's wearing a black apron and a scowl, with messy hair that he flicks out of his eyes in an irritated manner, taking orders on a little black notepad. He's pretty handsome too, or would be if it weren't for the giant scar taking up half his face. Combined with his grumpy expression, that makes him kind of scary looking, but it's not what's got Smellerbee staring.<\/p>

No, that would be the way the waiter spots them, rolls his eyes, and stomps over to yank the coffee stirrer out of Jet's mouth. "Quit chewing on those!" he snaps. "If you want one, order a coffee!"<\/p>

Jet settles back in his chair, stretching his arms over the back, and smirks wide. "Why, hello, Zuko," he drawls. "And how are you doing this lovely<\/em> afternoon?"<\/p>

Zuko scoffs. "None of your business, Jet," he grumbles. "Just order, would you?"<\/p>

"What did you cook today?" Jet asks, grin edging towards indecent. "Those muffins yesterday were really delicious. Give me whatever you made today – and get her a coffee, would you?" He jerks a thumb at Smellerbee, and the waiter stomps off without bothering to reply.<\/p>

Jet leans out into the aisle to watch him go, leering eagerly, and Smellerbee just has to sigh. "Really<\/em>, Jet? Is that what this is all about?"<\/p>

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Jet says, as he watches Zuko duck behind the counter to retrieve a slice of banana bread. He is not very convincing.<\/p>

Still, Smellerbee doesn't realize just how tedious this is all going to be until Zuko returns to their table with the banana bread, some cream cheese, and not one but two drinks.<\/p>

"Here," he says, plunking the second cup down in front of Jet so roughly that the contents slop over its sides, and dropping a stirrer directly in the middle. "I made you coffee. Drink it and then get lost, the other regulars get really mad that you take the good table all afternoon. You hardly even order anything."<\/p>

Jet picks the stirrer up, licks it very thoroughly<\/em> clean, and then pops it between his teeth, never breaking eye contact with Zuko as he does so. His gaze is soft and his smile knowing as he says, "Thank you for the special service<\/em>, Zuko."<\/p>

Zuko's cheeks tinge pink, and he quickly says, "It's not free!" before retreating back behind the counter to start preparing other orders.<\/p>

Jet sighs fondly, sips his coffee, makes a disgusted face, and takes a bite of banana bread before sipping his coffee and grimacing once more. He keeps his eyes locked on Zuko the whole time.<\/p>

"Just please don't take this stalking act any further, okay?" Smellerbee grumbles, then snatches her coffee and leaves because it's obvious Jet is going to be absolutely useless about this.<\/p>

–-–<\/p>

Of course he doesn't listen. Or rather, he does – just well enough to realize that he can take his stalking act to a whole new level, but not well enough to remember that Smellerbee was specifically asking him not<\/em> to.<\/p>

She realizes this when she finally gives in to his nagging and joins him in signing up for a martial arts class for the latter half of spring semester. Kung fu isn't really to her tastes, and she honestly intends to drop it after the first class anyway, but she agrees because Jet's being a pill about it, and he's promised to give her a ride to watch Longshot's archery match after.<\/p>

So she goes to the first class with Jet. She's being a good sport. And how does Jet reward her?<\/p>

By smirking widely at their teacher, who stumbles through his introductory speech, and finally abandons it altogether to snap at Jet: "Spit that gum out! Do you want to choke on it when I'm throwing you to the floor?"<\/p>

Smellerbee thinks Jet may have actually choked on his gum then and there, speechless for once. Zuko realizes the double-meaning behind his words (Freudian slip, anyone?<\/em> Smellerbee thinks) right away, and his face turns a deep red as he sputters to explain that he meant Jet was going to be his demonstration partner for today, that was all, so he'd better just stop smirking and spit that gum out right now so they could get to the lesson!<\/p>

And as if that weren't bad enough, Longshot's practice doesn't start until half an hour after their class ends, so Smellerbee has nothing to do but sit around being forced to listen to Jet flirting.<\/p>

"So you're a black belt, huh? You must be really good at kung fu, to be teaching classes already. How long have you been doing it?" Jet's words are fairly innocent, but the tone is just dripping<\/em> with sleaze. Smellerbee doesn't blame Zuko for his slight shudder.<\/p>

"Firstly, we don't measure skill with belts in kung fu. That's for an entirely different martial art – the sash is just part of my traditional uniform. There are only three main levels of skill: beginners like you<\/em>, disciples – which I am – and masters. My uncle is a master; this is his dojo, so I've been learning since I was little. And finally, if you really cared<\/em> about learning kung fu, you probably would've known all this already, so why don't you just quit now and stop distracting me during classes?" Zuko starts off calm, but by the time he's done with his little lecture, he's flat out ranting – quite loudly too.<\/p>

Jet just waggles the pen he's got in his mouth up and down, curling his tongue around it suggestively. "Couldn't keep your eyes off me, huh?"<\/p>

Zuko throws his hands up in the air and storms out of the room, but not before blushing yet again. Smellerbee has sympathy for him, but really, it would be better if he'd just give up and bang Jet already so that they can all get back to business. Jet's little obsessions never last post-intercourse. He just isn't the type to date, Smellerbee knows.<\/p>

–-–<\/p>

So when the end of the semester rolls around and Longshot texts Smellerbee in the middle of her History final asking her if she's willing to go on a double-date with Jet and his new boyfriend, she just rolls her eyes and agrees. She doesn't think anything of it, at least not until it's time to meet up and Longshot tells her to go to the coffee shop just off of campus. Even then, all she does is wince at Jet's crassness, to go flaunting his new boytoy right in front of (what must have been) his last boytoy. He makes a loyal and worthy friend to her and Longshot, but Jet is an absolute dick to the rest of the world.<\/p>

Smellerbee is still thinking this as she sits down and snuggles in next to Longshot. She stops thinking it when Jet arrives and sits down opposite them, with a weird look on his face. It's eager and nervous at the same time. For once Jet's got nothing in his mouth, and he starts drumming his fingers rapidly on the table and glancing jerkily around the shop.<\/p>

Smellerbee is just about to inquire about his lack of boyfriend, when Zuko makes his way over to their table and hands Jet a coffee stirrer.<\/p>

"Here," he says casually. "Go ahead and appease your oral fixation already. I'm just gonna go clock out and then we can head out."<\/p>

Jet takes the coffee stirrer in silence, and his smirk is a little lopsided as he leans out into the aisle to ogle Zuko's butt. The ogling actually looks more habitual than anything. And Jet doesn't put the coffee stirrer in his mouth, but just turns it over and over in his hands before tucking it carefully into his pocket as though it's something much more delicate than a little piece of plastic.<\/p>

Smellerbee turns to Longshot. "What the hell?"<\/p>

Her boyfriend just smiles. His expression clearly tells her, Jet really likes this guy. Let's support him.<\/em><\/p>

"But – but he was hitting on him weeks<\/em> ago, there's no way he can still be into him –"<\/p>

Smellerbee,<\/em> Longshot's serious gaze admonishes. Can't you tell? It's different this time.<\/em><\/p>

When Zuko returns a minute later, sans apron, Jet suddenly stuffs the coffee stirrer in his mouth as though he's been chewing on it this whole time. The way he sneaks it back into his pocket as soon as Zuko's not paying attention is all Smellerbee needs to see to know Longshot is right as always.<\/p>

She looks at Zuko critically after that. Just what is it about this coffee shop waiting, kung fu disciple that's got Jet actually caring<\/em> for the first time?<\/p>

Whatever it is, he'd better not break her friend's heart. Or he'll find out the hard way that no martial art is a match to Smellerbee's fury.<\/p>

–-–<\/p>

Over the next several months, Smellerbee finds herself warming up to Zuko. He's kind of weird – the huge scar is intriguing, for one, and he seems constantly torn between being a jerk and being a dork. The first is a little annoying, but understandable given that he's interacting with Jet whenever Smellerbee runs into him. The second is just plain adorable. He almost makes Smellerbee wish Longshot were prone to nervous babbling, though one glance at her boyfriend sends that notion flying. He's perfect the way he is; she wouldn't trade his silent understanding and support for anything.<\/p>

Jet, though, is seriously digging this Zuko guy. He loves it when Zuko's a jerk to him (seriously loves it. He gets really turned on<\/em> by making Zuko mad) and whenever Zuko does something really inadvertently dorky Smellerbee's best friend gets this… well, it can't be described as anything other than a mushy<\/em> look on his face. And this happens fairly often, because Zuko acts pretty darn dorky when he's flustered – and Jet just loves to fluster people.<\/p>

They meet Zuko's friends, a weird if enjoyable bunch. Smellerbee really gets along with Toph, who seems to act like some weird combination of little sister and buff older brother to Zuko; the first time the tiny blind girl met Jet, she promised him lots of pain if he ever "made Sparky weep like a little girl, which is totally how he cries 'cause he's a wuss". That pretty much sums up how awesome she is. Katara and Aang are an almost sickeningly cute couple, as are Zuko's best friend Sokka and his girlfriend Suki.<\/p>

Actually, Smellerbee gets to witness the extremely memorable event of Jet getting jealous when Zuko introduces Sokka to them. The two of them are so friendly and touchy-feely and have some really pathetic in-jokes and everything, so Jet gets all prickly and sulky, and tries to grope Zuko in public just to prove a point (Zuko about breaks his hand).<\/p>

Luckily, Sokka and Suki are very prone to PDAs of their own, so Jet doesn't take long to learn he has nothing to be jealous about. It was still pretty funny to watch him bristle, however.<\/p>

Zuko doesn't talk much about his feelings for Jet, but Smellerbee watches carefully and she sees lots of little hints. For all he grumbles, Zuko's a pretty attentive boyfriend. He's constantly showing up with little treats, 'leftovers' from whatever he made at the coffee-shop that morning. Including days when he's off work. He even has picked up on what sort of things Jet prefers to chew on (Jet must always<\/em> have something in his mouth) and seems to hand him a straw or coffee stirrer or pencil whenever Jet starts absently chewing his lips.<\/p>

Jet always suggests that Zuko take a slightly more personal<\/em> approach to helping out with his oral fixation. Often he waggles his tongue suggestively as well, or makes obnoxious kiss noises. Zuko, not a guy inclined to PDA, just rolls his eyes and tells him to shut up, sometimes with an added shove on the shoulder, always with a ridiculous blush.<\/p>

Jet saves everything Zuko ever gives him, hardly chewing them at all, though no one else seems to have noticed. Well, except Longshot, but he notices everything.<\/p>

So – yeah, Smellerbee is starting to relax. The summer's getting hot, things are going well, and Katara and Sokka have invited them all to spend some time at their beach-house to celebrate not having to study until fall. Smellerbee is looking forward to the sand, the surf, and the seeing the shirtless bodies of the various very attractive boys she is friends with (what, can't a girl just look?<\/em>).<\/p>

Of course things have to go wrong.<\/p>

–-–<\/p>

It starts with a trio of pretty girls on the beach. One flirty, one grumpy, and one sadistic, they seem to know Zuko quite well, even if he doesn't appear to want much to do with them.<\/p>

"Zuzu, I've missed you," the sadistic girl croons. Jet snorts, and Zuko shoots him a glare. Smellerbee sides with Jet here; that is pretty funny. But the humor dissipates fairly quickly when the sadistic girl speaks again with a cruel smile.<\/p>

"Then again, it's not like we get many chances to see each other, what with you being disowned and all. How is poverty treating you, brother? Don't tell me you can't even afford a haircut now."<\/p>

Jet, who is very fond of Zuko's messy hair and often tells Smellerbee how much he likes to run his hands through it despite her total lack of interest in the subject, bristles indignantly.<\/p>

"Who's this, Zuzu?<\/em>" he asks, because he might be a protective boyfriend, but he's still a dick too.<\/p>

"Shut up," Zuko mumbles. "Jet, Smellerbee, Longshot, um, this is my sister Azula. And her friends, Ty Lee and Mai."<\/p>

The grumpy girl raises a sardonic eyebrow. "Just Azula's friend now, am I?"<\/p>

"Ah – um, well, uh, yeah. She's my ex-girlfriend too, I guess," Zuko says awkwardly. Jet squints menacingly at her upon hearing this, which she ignores.<\/p>

The encounter ends shortly after that, but it only serves to open up an apparently huge can of worms. Jet wants to know why Zuko's been disowned, Zuko doesn't want to tell him, they end up in a huge fight: it's fairly predictable, really.<\/p>

Less predictable is the information let fly during the fight: that somehow Zuko's dad is responsible for the scar on Zuko's face, which is why he's living with his uncle now. That Zuko's dad doesn't know about his son being gay, and that Zuko has no intention of telling him. Zuko, in fact, plans to study and work hard to get back in his father's good graces so he won't be such a 'disappointment' to his father, and when that day comes he intends to say goodbye to Jet for good.<\/p>

Jet obviously calls bullshit on all that crap, but since he's Jet and he's got plenty of his own issues about big rich heartless business moguls like Zuko's dad has turned out to be, he does so in the most painful way possible. Zuko is borderline grumpy most of the time, sure, but that's the first time any of them have seen him really mad<\/em>.<\/p>

Smellerbee didn't hear the whole argument; that's their business, but when things start crashing into the walls she and Longshot venture in to make sure everything's alright. And they find Jet holding Zuko by the collar, slammed up against the wall, hissing in his ear about being "a worthless little coward".<\/p>

Smellerbee has seen Jet get like this before. It used to happen a lot back in the orphanage. And usually, the best thing anyone can do is just to get out of his way until he's had enough time to calm down. To do otherwise can be really dangerous.<\/p>

But as soon as Jet calls him that, Zuko just explodes<\/em>.<\/p>

All of a sudden, he's moving almost faster than Smellerbee can see, a flurry of kung fu stuff or something, and Jet winds up lying on the floor, groaning and cradling his arm. Which is fairly impressive, as Jet is no stranger to fights, and can usually more than hold his own, especially when he's in one of his moods. But Zuko isn't even stopped.<\/p>

"Screw you, Jet," he says bitterly, and stomps out of the room, leaving Smellerbee and Longshot to pick up the pieces.<\/p>

–-–<\/p>

And there are a lot<\/em> of pieces. For starters, Zuko apparently broke Jet's arm, and none of them have the funds to pay for that kind of crap. Even if they're doing pretty well now, it's not like they're ever had insurance in their lives. So that's the primary concern.<\/p>

Luckily, it gets resolved pretty easily. Toph shows up in the ER, waving a credit card around, and covers all the costs. Jet hates her for this, obviously, and swears that he doesn't need her pity, but the girl just levels a cloudy glare in (mostly) his direction.<\/p>

"I don't pity<\/em> you, you dumbfuck," she snorts. "Actually, I want to break your other arm myself! Sure, Zuko's dad is an asshole, but you can't just tell him that! I'm only here so Sparky doesn't start to get all guilty and try to cover the costs himself. Remember, that 'spoiled little rich boy' is disowned<\/em>. He doesn't have any more money than you do."<\/p>

Then she turns and leaves, head high. Her cane whacks hard into Jet's foot on the way out, and no one believes for one second that it's accidental.<\/p>

So at least that is resolved. And according to the doctors, it was a clean break, and shouldn't take more than five weeks or so to heal. That's assuming Jet takes care of it like he should, of course, but Smellerbee and Longshot are both fully prepared to bully him into doing so.<\/p>

The next problem, of course, is less of a fiscal issue and more of an emotional one. As soon as the whole deal with the hospital is over and Jet has come back home to the tiny apartment they all share, he shuts himself in his room and doesn't talk to anyone for the longest time. Smellerbee's not positive, but she thinks he might have been crying in there at one point.<\/p>

All she knows for sure is that she finds Jet's sweet and yet really creepy collection of coffee stirrers and other stuff Zuko's absentmindedly handed him to chew on in the trash. She takes it out and hides it, not really sure why. After all, she's extremely pissed off at Zuko herself. Sure, he might have his own issues, and Jet might not have handled things well, but that's not important. Jet is Smellerbee's best friend, and she's always going to be on his side, and Zuko has reduced him to moping around the house in a cast.<\/p>

Hell no, Smellerbee's not going to let that stand.<\/p>

–-–<\/p>

She's greeted at Zuko's address by a somewhat portly old man with a kind smile, who somehow manages to get on her good side despite calling her a charming young man<\/em>. She's not sure how or even when it happened – this geezers's even more charming than Jet can be, and that's saying something. It's a shame he's on Zuko's side.<\/p>

"I need to go beat up your nephew," Smellerbee admits, blowing on her tea to cool it off.<\/p>

Iroh just chuckles. "Many people have wished to do so in the past. My nephew finds it easy to make enemies and difficult to make friends, I am afraid."<\/p>

"I was<\/em> his friend," Smellerbee growls. "But not anymore."<\/p>

Iroh arches an eyebrow at her, and for some reason she just ends up telling him everything. She even tells him all about Jet's past in order to explain just how important Zuko obviously was to him, and how much this must be hurting him. Normally she would never<\/em> tell anyone that. She eyes the tea suspiciously.<\/p>

Then Iroh starts in. He gives her Zuko's backstory, and Smellerbee's anger becomes harder and harder to maintain the longer he talks. By the time he finishes with, "…and so Zuko longs for nothing more than to have his father welcome him back home," Smellerbee is fully sympathetic.<\/p>

But sympathy just isn't enough. "I feel bad for him," she says, "but Jet matters a whole lot more to me. And he just stomped all over Jet. I'm not going to let him get away with that!"<\/p>

"Yeah, well, I think the two of them are both<\/em> idiots," a sardonic voice speaks up out of nowhere. Moments later Toph rounds the corner. "I'm tired of eavesdropping, pour me tea."<\/p>

Iroh smiles and hands her the cup he has already poured. "What a lucky old man I am, to share tea with two such delightfully outspoken young ladies."<\/p>

Toph grins at him, but then turns to Smellerbee after a rough slurp of tea. "They're being idiots. It's up to us to make them stop. You in?"<\/p>

And Smellerbee thinks for a moment, about that seriously disgusting mushy look Jet gets when he watches Zuko sometimes, and how she's never seen him smile like that before, never seen him that happy <\/em>before.<\/p>

She nods. "But if they don't get their acts together soon, I'm still beating Zuko up."<\/p>

Toph toasts her with a teacup. "Perfectly understandable."<\/p>

–-–<\/p>

The first problem Smellerbee faces is that she's never set anyone up with anyone else before. Let alone Jet. Before Zuko came along, she'd always thought Jet was incapable of focusing his affections on any one person, so why would she have even tried?<\/p>

Plus, Jet's mad and miserable and in pain right now. Smellerbee doesn't want to make him feel any worse, and she's pretty sure talking about Zuko would do just that. But she doesn't really see a way to get them back together without talking about Zuko and calming Jet down – mopey as he is, if Zuko showed up right now begging to be taken back, Jet would slam the door in his face. He's got too much pride for these sorts of things, and it will be hard for him to admit that he's made mistakes too.<\/p>

So Smellerbee starts off small. Crafty, annoying little things designed to make Jet want to mention Zuko first<\/em>. She drinks coffee all the time. The apartment reeks of the stuff – when it doesn't stink of burnt baking, the inevitable result of Smellerbee's attempts to make the usual treats Zuko typically supplies (she does really miss those, they were delicious). And, when she thinks she can get away with it, she leaves the TV on martial arts movies.<\/p>

And it works! It definitely works. Jet's temper has gotten shorter since Zuko broke his arm, since he hates being in any way reliant on someone else, and now it gets even more strained. Every time Smellerbee takes a slurp of coffee, every time she watches some bearded old guy beat up a bunch of young thugs to save his future disciple, Jet gets noticeably grumpier. Smellerbee knows Jet's going to crack soon.<\/p>

What she doesn't expect is Longshot to be the one to cause it.<\/p>

Usually, Longshot is very subtle. But his setting up an easel in the center of their small communal space, along with a huge blown-up photo of Zuko, can't be described as anything but blatant. He even sets all these things out right in front of Jet.<\/p>

"What are you doing?<\/em>" Jet asks dangerously, receiving nothing but a brief glance in response.<\/p>

"Um, you remember Longshot's art class?" Smellerbee leaps in, eager to support her boyfriend, not to mention prevent Jet's impending rage if possible. "It's an assignment. He has to draw something with the theme 'contrast.'"<\/p>

It's obvious why Longshot chose Zuko for that; the 'contrast' between the scarred and unscarred sides of his face is undeniable. Still, there were plenty of other options he could have used, and Jet clearly knows it. He gets a very scary look on his face, and Smellerbee thinks for a minute that he is going to explode.<\/p>

Instead, he slumps down pitifully in his seat and moans miserably, dropping his head into his hands. "Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it, fine <\/em>I miss him. You don't have to be such assholes about it!"<\/p>

Smellerbee tries not to be too obviously excited in front of Jet, but she can't resist giving Longshot a giant silent smooch because this is exactly the chance she's been waiting for. He smiles, then picks up his pencil and starts to draw, leaving the rest of the conversation up to her.<\/p>

Smellerbee crouches next to Jet, putting a careful hand on his shoulder. "We're not trying to be assholes about it, Jet, just… We want to talk to you. Did you really have to break up?"<\/p>

Jet shoots up, furious. "What the hell was I supposed<\/em> to do?! He's being a fucking dumbass! He was planning on it anyway, this is just sooner rather than later!"<\/p>

"I know that! And obviously that's not something you can just take, but..." Smellerbee struggles to phrase things right. "Jet, I've never seen you as happy as you were with Zuko. And I don't think you should give that up so easily. There's got to be something else you can do, right?"<\/p>

Jet doesn't say anything for a long time. But when he does, Smellerbee knows she's done it. She's going to be able to get him back with Zuko, even if it takes some time.<\/p>

Because he says: "I don't know what to do, Smellerbee. Okay? I don't know what to do."<\/p>

It's the first time Jet's ever admitted that. He's always been their leader, always in charge. He's the reason they are where they are now. He's always<\/em> known what to do. But this isn't about their little group, this is about Jet's happiness, and he's stumped.<\/p>

Smellerbee grins. "Then it's our turn to take charge."<\/p>

–-–<\/p>

The solution that eventually gets worked out is pretty awkward. Smellerbee and Jet sit side by side at a booth in the Pao Family Diner, facing Zuko and Toph across the table. Jet is chewing violently on the straw for his lemonade, glaring out the window. Zuko at least seems to feel pretty bad, but his dorkiness is acting up again so he can't seem to form any coherent words. Toph probably would get things started, but she's ears-deep into some sort of pot-pie that has all of her attention occupied. It's up to Smellerbee.<\/p>

"Jet's sorry," she says, snapping Zuko's attention to her. Jet's as well, unfortunately.<\/p>

"What?" he snaps. "No I'm not! I<\/em> haven't done anything wrong!"<\/p>

Smellerbee glares at her friend. "Jet, you said you'd let me<\/em> do this."<\/p>

He grumbles, and spits some straw pieces out of his mouth before continuing to sulkily mangle the small piece of plastic.<\/p>

"Jet's sorry," Smellerbee resumes, "about saying the stuff he said about your dad. And you. And probably your mom too."<\/p>

Zuko's jaw is tight. "My mother was an excellent woman."<\/p>

Jet rolls his eyes and scoffs. Smellerbee elbows him. Toph shifts a little in her seat (still engrossed in her meal) and Zuko eyes her warily before he speaks again. Smellerbee reflects that there has probably been a lot of threatening going on for him to react like that. Knowing Toph, that's not much of a surprise.<\/p>

"But… he was pretty mad and, um, it's not like I didn't do stuff I shouldn't have too." Zuko glances at Jet's cast, which has been on prominent display this whole time in a typical Jet guilt attack. "I… I'm sorry too."<\/p>

It would have been better if Zuko said that to Jet himself instead of directing it at Smellerbee, but whatever. They're boys.<\/p>

And Jet may think he's being subtle, but Smellerbee knows he's just looking at Zuko's reflection in the window. Judging by the way Zuko is staring off and on at Jet in return, it shouldn't take too much more intervention from Smellerbee before they get back to humping and such. Whatever they did when they were dating. From the way Jet tells it, there was a lot of humping and such going on, though Jet is prone to exaggerating and Zuko doesn't seem<\/em> like the nookie-all-the-time type. Then again, neither does Longshot. People surprise you.<\/p>

But anyway, all Smellerbee has to do is to get them to meet talk a little bit and then the romantic violin music – or maybe porn music, this does involve Jet after all – will probably start of its own accord, she's sure. Whichever, it'll rapidly turn into the sort of scene Smellerbee does not want to have to witness, and she'll be able to leave. Neither of them really want to be broken up, that much is obvious.<\/p>

Smellerbee is just wondering how best to get some sort of conciliatory conversation going, when Zuko swallows hard and says, "Um, Smellerbee, Toph, could you – could you leave us alone?"<\/p>

Jet chokes on his straw, spewing tiny bits of plastic all over the table. Smellerbee's eyebrows raise up high. Zuko's never been very confident, at least not when it comes to dating Jet. He's been more embarrassed than anything else, really. At least in public. It's kind of weird that he's being the mature one now. But hey, Smellerbee's not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.<\/p>

"Sure!" she agrees quickly, and hustles Toph and her pot-pie across the room to a different table. She can no longer hear what's going on, but she can see, which might be necessary if Jet starts to run or attack Zuko or do some other stupid thing.<\/p>

He doesn't though. For a long time, Jet just hunches in his chair and stares out the window (at Zuko's reflection) while Zuko leans forward earnestly and blushes a lot and talks for nearly ten minutes with frequent pauses to run his hands frustratedly through his hair.<\/p>

By the time Zuko's done speechifying, Toph has finally reached the bottom of her dish, and lets out a belch that can probably be heard on the other side of the city. Heads turn all over the diner – even Zuko's, but not Smellerbee and so she's the only one who notices the expression on Jet's face.<\/p>

It's kind of just broken<\/em>. His mouth is this wavery little line, his eyes bright and focused completely on Zuko, and nowhere in his face can Smellerbee find any trace of Jet's usual confidence or smugness or anything really but a deep, deep vulnerability.<\/p>

And for a moment, Smellerbee wants nothing more than to bundle Jet up and take him far away from Zuko. It's pure madness, letting him stay near someone who has so much power over him; Zuko could break<\/em> Jet. Why the hell is she letting her best friend become so vulnerable?<\/p>

And then Jet answers that question for her, with a blinding smile before he rounds the table to catch Zuko in a kiss. Most of his grins are very deliberate, 90% smirking or lewdness or careful charm. Even among his friends Jet is careful with how he rations out his real smiles, and Smellerbee hasn't seen him really grin more than a handful of times, in all the years she's known him. It's no surprise – Jet has issues, that's why he always has to be in control, the same way Longshot still almost never says a word, and Smellerbee herself (the most adjusted) is kind of a bitch to most people she meets.<\/p>

She doesn't love her friends any less for their faults. That's just another part of them, and so an extra level of meaning is added whenever they let their guards down. Longshot last spoke to Smellerbee three years ago, when he told her, "I love you." She'd known then just how much he meant it, in the same way she knows just how much Jet loves Zuko now. He probably hasn't said it yet, but it's there. Smellerbee can tell, and she is so happy for Jet because she thought this was something he'd never have.<\/p>

Happy for him, but also started to get a little grossed out. That kiss is getting less and less PG over there. Maybe that should be a sign that Zuko feels the same way or something, since he normally hates that sort of stuff, but it really doesn't make Smellerbee any happier about seeing his hands cupping Jet's butt while they lean over the table in a hideously sexual way.<\/p>

…Well, okay, maybe she is a little happy to see it. This will fuel a daydream or two, and it certainly answers some of those nagging questions about Zuko's bedroom preferences. Why, just look at them go! Smellerbee thinks she might be blushing.<\/p>

She's not sure whether she's more relieved or disappointed when Jet and Zuko's little porn show gets cut short by their eviction from the premises (they may actually have been permanently banished, probably because of the way Jet was trying to take off Zuko's shirt).<\/p>

–-–<\/p>

While the passion in their relationship is clearly still there, Jet and Zuko get tested on their commitment fairly soon. Or Zuko does, anyway; Jet's commitment isn't really in question at this point – when Smellerbee returned his creepy Zuko-gift collection, he only pretended not to recognize it for five minutes before squirreling it away in his room once more.<\/p>

But Zuko's emotional involvement is less clear, at least until Azula turns up at Iroh's (the gang's default hangout spot when they're feeling lazy) one afternoon, with Mai and Ty Lee in tow. All three are just as sadistic, grumpy, or flirty as they were before. Ty Lee coos at Sokka, despite Suki being right there, Mai sits in a corner and levels a glare at Aang and Katara (who must just be too happy for her to bear), and Azula offers Zuko the chance to go back home.<\/p>

"Father has a lot on his plate lately, what with the merger and all," she murmurs, examining her very shiny and sharp fingernails. "He's decided family is important, and he wants to let you come home and attempt to make yourself useful once more… Well, once you clear up any little indiscretions that won't suit the public eye."<\/p>

The glance Azula flicks towards Jet is unnecessary; everyone knows what she's saying, and they're all watching Zuko for his reaction. It doesn't take as long as expected.<\/p>

"You're a liar, Azula," he snaps, with hardly any hesitation. "That's all you do. Dad couldn't care less what I do, and he certainly doesn't need my help. I'm not going to go home, not if it means giving up Jet."<\/p>

Jet grins smugly, though Smellerbee definitely notices the relieved edge to his next words. "You tell her, Zuzu<\/em>."<\/p>

Azula ignores this comment, choosing instead to berate her brother about his foolish life choices. "How do you even expect to support yourself in the future, Zuko?" is a major point of hers, and it has Zuko (major still undecided) a little bit flummoxed.<\/p>

He's not backing down, he just doesn't have any answer better than, "I'll figure something out!" and while that sounds perfectly reasonable to Smellerbee, it doesn't get very far with Azula. And everyone else in the room is sort of paralyzed by the sibling battle, unable to jump in as they all normally would.<\/p>

So Iroh comes to the rescue, with his casual, "I was hoping Zuko would take over the dojo, actually. There is no one I would rather have it."<\/p>

Everyone jumps. None of them even saw him arrive, but he seems relaxed and calm despite the shouting going on in his living room. "I was thinking of retiring and starting a tea-shop in a few years," he admits with a grin. "I'm thinking of calling it the Jasmine Dragon. Or maybe the Tea Weevil! But, no, that's just stupid…<\/em>"<\/p>

Zuko (rather gently for him) directs the conversation back to where it should be, with a formal bow at his uncle. "I would be honored to take over the dojo after you retire," he promises, sounding like he really means it. Smellerbee is impressed by his solemnity and sincerity.<\/p>

Jet, she notices, is just looking at Zuko's butt when he bends over.<\/p>

Azula looks lost for words, and maybe even a little hurt. Still, she opens her mouth to argue even more – but then Mai speaks up.<\/p>

"Let's just go, Azula," Zuko's ex-girlfriend says dryly. "It doesn't look like he's going to change his mind. Listening to you guys argue is so boring."<\/p>

Ty Lee jumps up from where she was standing on her head across the room. "Yeah!" she chirps. "Let's go shopping!"<\/p>

And then both girls herd Azula out of the room. It's all rather anticlimactic, really, except for the way Zuko is staring happily at Iroh and Jet is trying desperately to catch his boyfriend's eye so they can sneak away and do inappropriate things (which is actually pretty normal, anyway).<\/p>

–-–<\/p>

It's been just over half a year since Smellerbee first entered this coffee shop, following determinedly on Jet's trail. Except for that first double date, she hasn't really been here since as it's not in the area she usually hangs out, but she and Longshot were going for a walk today when Mother Nature decided to snow all over everything way<\/em> too early in the year. It's October! Smellerbee isn't ready for this kind of cold!<\/p>

So they burst inside, she and Longshot, dropping their linked hands in favor of wrapping them around warm coffee mugs as soon as possible, and sinking into the deep, warm, cozy couch against one wall.<\/p>

The coffee shop is much more crowded today than it was either of the other times Smellerbee visited, probably because of the crazy weather, and that's her only excuse for why she doesn't notice them at first.<\/p>

Jet and Zuko, sitting squished together at Jet's corner table, huddled together on one chair with a single scarf wrapped around both their necks. Jet's kind of leaning his head on Zuko's shoulder a bit (something he normally never does because he hates to admit that he's shorter) as he devours a muffin, and Zuko is laughing into his coffee, obviously on his break or whatever since he's still wearing his apron. Actually, given their seating arrangements and the scarf, it looks sort of like Jet just lassoed him as he passed by, and Smellerbee really wouldn't be very surprised.<\/p>

Zuko holds the coffee up to Jet's lips, forcing him to take a sip. Jet does so, only to gag exaggeratedly, and they laugh together in a way that makes Smellerbee feel like she's intruding just watching<\/em>, and she forgets all about her frozen toes because really, everything just seems right in the world at this moment.<\/p>

"You see them?" she whispers, leaning back into Longshot. He wraps his long, warm arms around her and rests his chin on her head, and she can feel him nodding. She can't feel him smiling, but she knows he is.<\/p>

Smellerbee reaches up to lace her fingers in his, the same way Jet and Zuko are doing under their table.<\/p>

And she smiles too.<\/p>

–-––-––-–<\/p>

Some small notes: kung fu<\/strong> because it's what firebending was largely based on in the show. Pao Family Diner<\/strong> because Jet and Zuko fighting in the show basically ruined that shop and would have both been totally banned if not for Iroh. Speaking of, Iroh's line<\/strong> about what to name his teashop is pretty much a direct quote.<\/div>
<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/57573.html?view=comments#comments","category":["zuko\/jet","avatar: the last airbender","prompted"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/57216.html","pubDate":"Sat, 08 Sep 2012 16:36:35 GMT","title":"Mood Lifting","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/57216.html","description":"Title: <\/b>Mood Lifting
Summary:<\/b> Sokka visits Toph after breaking up with Suki. She cheers him up.
Spoilers: <\/b>Series, minor ones for The Promise<\/i>.
Note: <\/b>Set after both the series and The Promise<\/i>. I think of Toph as sixteen or seventeen in this.



In a sense, it was inevitable. Sokka was going to become Chief of the Southern Water Tribe one day; it simply wasn't possible for him to relocate. And though not quite as set in stone, Suki's identity as the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors was just as important a responsibility and lifestyle for her. It wouldn't be right to ask her to give that up to go live on the South Pole with Sokka. They had been dating for a while now, and had reached the point where commitment had to be made: long-distance just wasn't going to cut it anymore, not if they planned to raise a family one day.<\/p>

The breakup had been a long time coming. But somehow, no one had realized. They'd all tried to believe that everything would just work out, somehow – they always seemed to think that these days. The Gaang had managed to defeat the Fire Lord and restore balance to the world, ending a century-long war; how could anything stand before them now?<\/p>

Very easily, it turned out. Zuko was the first (and least surprised) to be confronted with this, in the form of his first prevented assassination. Toph had faced her own lack of ability to conquer some enemies in a tragic talk with her parents not long after that – she had been forced to realize that although they loved her, they were never going to understand her, and never going to stop trying to 'protect' her. So far, Katara and Aang had been fairly blissful, neatly evading any such heartbreaks in typical airbender style, and Toph truly hoped they stayed that way, even if their pet-names for each other were annoyingly mushy.<\/p>

But Sokka hadn't been able to do the same; he'd just faced his personal Ba Sing Se, his own unconquerable wall, and he'd broken himself against it as surely as Uncle had so many years ago. Worse still, this wasn't the first time for him. Toph knew that, as the only non-bender in their group, Sokka had been faced with his own helplessness more often than anyone else had (again, with the possible exception of Zuko, who always got special allowances for his psycho family). It just didn't seem fair that he had to be the one who suffered this time, too.<\/p>

And he was<\/i> suffering. He'd shown up on Toph's doorstep, making terrible jokes and laughing when no one else did, and had ruffled her hair and told her she was really growing up. And when she'd asked what the hell was wrong with him, he had said, "nothing" and his heartbeat raced far ahead of him in an attempt to escape the lie.<\/p>

Toph said, "Liar," but didn't pursue the subject any further than that, because Sokka already knew she knew he was lying and he lied anyway. So the first week passed without any explanation, just an impromptu visit drawn out too long and aching in a bittersweet sort of way.<\/p>

Toph might have just let things drag on that way, but Sokka was chafing under a lack of purpose and it was getting irritating. He spent all his time following her around, trying to convince her to go shopping with him and complaining about her lack of a library ("Yeah", she'd said, "I should read more but I get eyestrain, you know," and waited for him to catch on.) Friendship was important and Toph knew he was hurting deeply for some reason – but she was getting very close to burying him under a ton of rock until he just shut up<\/i>.<\/p>

So she took a deep, calming breath, pummeled some earth, and invited Sokka out for a drink. He made a lot of astonished comments regarding her ability to drink, and she was so little, didn't it go straight to her head? And she rose up and demanded to know if he really thought she wasn't man enough to drink him under the table, and he scoffed in his offended-male-pride way and told her she was on<\/i>.<\/p>

They went to the nearest pub that had learned its lesson about Toph being of age<\/i> (not to mention fully able and willing to sink the entire building under the earth), and ordered some of the hardest liquor it had, and Toph drank Sokka literally under the table within the first hour.<\/p>

She dragged him back into his chair.<\/p>

"So what's got you all messed up, anyway?" she asked, slamming back another shot and savoring the burn.<\/p>

Sokka giggled and fell off his chair again and said, "Suki and I broke up," and then started crying. Toph froze. Whatever she'd been expecting, it wasn't that, and the anger that overtook her was on par with any avenging god.<\/p>

"I'll bury her<\/i>," she snarled, slamming her glass down, but Sokka grabbed her leg pitifully.<\/p>

"No!" he said earnestly. "No, don't. We both agreed to do it. It's not her fault. It's not anyone's fault," and then he explained why.<\/p>

Toph slid down to sit under the table with him, and hugged her knees as she listened, all the fury draining out of her. She understood<\/i>. She didn't want to, but she got it. Sokka couldn't leave, the same way Zuko couldn't get out of being Fire Lord – neither of them really wanted the job, but it was their duty and there was nothing they could do about that. Sokka might not harp on about it as much as Zuko did, but he valued his duty to his tribe just as much as their firebending friend. Katara may have been the waterbender of the two, but she was much less Water Tribe than Sokka in that respect – she was happy to continue traveling the world with Aang, righting wrongs, but Sokka knew he had to go back home to his people. And Suki's freedom was no less important – forcing her into a parka and making her into some fish-cooking igloowife would be just as horrible as anything Toph's parents ever tried to do to her. Of course she had refused that. And of course Sokka hadn't wanted that for her – he loved her for who she was, and would never want to take that away from her.<\/p>

Toph listened and Toph understood and Toph didn't know what to do because there wasn't anyone to beat up and Sokka was trying to laugh like it didn't even matter to him.<\/p>

"It'll be okay," she said awkwardly, patting his back. "You'll – you'll find someone. Maybe from the Northern Water Tribe or something."<\/p>

Sokka shook his head and mumbled something about Yue, a name Toph had never heard before. But it was clear that he didn't think too much of her attempt at comfort, which wasn't any real surprise. Toph didn't think too much of it either. She wished Katara were here; she could handle these sorts of things much better than Toph ever could.<\/p>

But Katara wouldn't understand why Sokka couldn't just make<\/i> it work, not the way Toph did. There was a reason Sokka had come to visit her, and she wanted desperately to live up to his faith in her but she didn't know how to fix this. It wasn't fixable. It plain wasn't<\/i>, just as lots of people in the Fire Nation and out of it would always want Zuko dead, just as Toph's parents would always think she was helpless and weak and in need of being locked away for her own protection no matter what she did. This was Sokka's Great Wall, and all Toph could do was try to help him cope.<\/p>

So she patted him on the back a few more times, and then stole enough money from his man-purse to pay for everything and carried him home on a rock sled and dropped him roughly into bed. Then she sat in the garden staring sightlessly up in the general direction of the moon and wondering what she should do until she fell asleep.<\/p>

---<\/p>

Most people waking up flat on their back in the dirt after a night of heavy drinking would not be happy. Toph wasn't most people; she woke with a grin at the feel of her element's embrace, and arched in a toe-curling stretch that softened and shifted the dirt around her into a comfortable chair. The warm sun on her face was particularly pleasant and Toph soaked it up like a gilacorn for several long minutes before she hopped to her feet in a cloud of dust and headed inside.<\/p>

She had a bit of a headache, but nothing too terrible. She was still perfectly capable of handling loud noises and sudden movements, so Toph wasted no time in shooting a slab of the wall forward to throw Sokka violently out of bed, before slamming his door open and grinning widely at him.<\/p>

"Wakey, wakey," she shouted.<\/p>

He mumbled something evil sounding and tried to roll under the bed. Toph laughed, blocking him with a stone wall, and then stepping on him just because.<\/p>

"Get up and make me some breakfast, lightweight<\/i>," she snickered. "I want something with lots and lots of meat. Pig-deer bacon sounds good, don't it?"<\/p>

Sokka groaned and clutched his stomach like a baby, but did eventually drag himself to his feet and stumble to the kitchen because he was Sokka<\/i>. He was physically incapable of turning down bacon, no matter how hungover. Toph followed, and as an act of mercy refrained from harassing him any more (unless pointing and laughing counted, because she did that quite a lot.)<\/p>

They ate lots of bacon, lots of cheese, a couple of pig-chicken eggs each, and then shared a long, melodious unison burp. There were reasons why Sokka was Toph's favorite.<\/p>

Toph's metalbending students were annoying, so she had sent them packing several days into Sokka's visit with the demand that they master bending a metal rod into her name before they return. She didn't really expect any of them to be able to do so for at least another week, so she had time to pry Sokka out of his funk. It might be tough; if Toph had learned anything about boys during her travels, it was that they loved a chance to mope and were near-impossible to stop once they'd gotten started. Occasionally getting beaten up did the trick, but about half the time it only made them mope longer, and Toph was never good at telling when it would have which effect.<\/p>

So, for lack of a better idea and with confidence instilled by her pleasant morning, Toph went her usual route: blunt and tactless.<\/p>

"I'm going to cheer you up until you stop moping about Suki," she announced.<\/p>

Sokka's head turned to face her. All was quiet.<\/p>

"Stop giving me that look," she told him. "I hate it when you give me that look."<\/p>

Sokka apologized, then realized a second later what he'd just done and said, "To-oph!<\/i>" in a scoldy fond big-brother sort of way.<\/p>

She both loved and hated that.<\/p>

"Oh, c'mon," she said. "If you visit the badgermoles with me, I'll let you take me shopping."<\/p>

---<\/p>

The next three days passed swiftly, full of fun. A lot of meat was consumed, belching contests were had, Sokka had a love\/hate relationship with riding on badgermoles, and Toph had a hate\/hate relationship with going shopping. They sparred each other, they played Pai Sho with stone tiles, Toph made tea and imitated Uncle so well she made Sokka spit it out his nose laughing, Sokka read her books that she pretended bored her to sleep but actually fascinated her. There was nothing to get done, no schedule to follow except that Sokka would have to go home 'soon', and Toph's students would supposedly come back at some point. There were no rules and no vegetables and no boundaries, and Toph started slipping back into something she had told herself had long been over.<\/p>

Sokka loved almost every minute of it, but he didn't really feel any better and Toph knew she wasn't helping all that much. She was distracting him, but only briefly, and at the close of the third day she was already getting sick of coming up with new things to get excited about every time Sokka started to get quiet and a little crumpled. It was wearing on him too, she could tell.<\/p>

But Toph didn't know what to do<\/i>, so she goaded him into challenging her to a drinking rematch and then joined him under the table to ask about Yue. It wasn't what she had planned to say, and she didn't know why she'd mentioned the name, especially as it was something he clearly wasn't drunk enough yet just to blurt out.<\/p>

"Don't you remember her from The Boy in the Iceberg<\/i>?"<\/p>

Toph shook her head. "I wasn't really paying close attention to that play, Sokka."<\/p>

"Oh. ...Let's leave," Sokka said very quietly, and paid without even protesting the outrageous prices before leading Toph almost all the way back to her house. He halted on a large, grassy hill, and tilted his head upwards in a way Toph knew meant he was watching the full moon. He was kind of obsessed with the moon, even more so than Katara, which had always been a little weird.<\/p>

"Yue… was my first love," Sokka said, in a voice that caught and ripped on the word 'love' and hit Toph so hard she sat down on the spot. "She was the Princess of the Northern Water Tribe, and I only knew her for a couple of days, but…"<\/p>

He trailed off. Toph already knew this story wasn't going to end well, and she had felt bad for Sokka when one love didn't work out but now he was zero for two and that just wasn't fair<\/i>.<\/p>

"You know what happened when Zhao attacked the Northern Water Tribe, right?" Sokka asked.<\/p>

Toph shrugged. They'd never talked about it, but she'd still eavesdropped the gist of the story long before meeting her friends. "Sure. Aang turned into a big fish and kicked the Fire Nation Navy's ass."<\/p>

Sokka snorted. "Well, yeah, but that's not the whole story. Basically, Tui and La, the moon and ocean spirits, are actually a couple of fish that spend all their time swimming around in circles in a sacred pool. Zhao killed the Tui fish, and the moon disappeared."<\/p>

Toph knew this was a big deal by the way Sokka said it, but it didn't make much difference to her – she couldn't even feel moonlight like she could the sun. She nodded gravely anyway.<\/p>

"Tui had saved Yue's life when she was a baby, and so she had a connection with it. Sh- Yue sacrificed herself to save us. She became the moon, and everyone was able to waterbend again."<\/p>

So that was the importance of the moon – it was like the sun was for firebenders. And… and that was the cause of Sokka's obsession with the moon. Oh. Toph tilted her head up to the sky, aiming it in the same direction as Sokka, and tried to sense the moon. Nothing.<\/p>

Sokka swallowed loudly. "Iroh was the one who told her to do it. I hated him so much for that… But he was right. She knew it, and – and she kissed me, and she said she'd always be with me, and then she died."<\/p>

Toph didn't know what to say. There wasn't<\/i> anything to say, not really. In a sense, this was even worse than breaking up with Suki. At least this time Sokka had some illusion of choice – then, he had been unable to do anything no matter how much he wanted to.<\/p>

She reached up and grabbed Sokka's arm, pulling him down to sit next to her. Then Toph leaned against him, hoping that her body could say what she couldn't, at least to some extent.<\/p>

Sokka took a deep, shuddering breath, but then leaned into her too, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He rested his cheek on her head, face still turned up toward the sky.<\/p>

Something came over Toph then. It wasn't anything unexpected, not really, but it was<\/i> unwanted. She'd gotten over Sokka a long time ago. Or at least she'd told herself she had, and seeing him so rarely had helped, but she still wore her meteor bracelet all the time and she had known, these past several days, that it was coming back – if indeed it had ever really left.<\/p>

And it didn't make any sense whatsoever, it was just as pointless and twice as impossible as Suki – even if Sokka ever saw her as anything other than a friend and little-sister figure, there was no way Toph was going to become an igloowife. She'd only gone to the South Pole once, and had hated it – there was hardly any dirt, and what earth there was<\/i> had frozen solid. She was completely blind almost all the time and couldn't even connect with her element without running the risk of frostbite. Toph was never going back there again. Nothing could make her do it.<\/p>

So it was completely hopeless from the beginning and Toph knew it. This wasn't going to make anything better at all, and there wasn't really a point at all, but something overflowed inside of her when Sokka held her, and she didn't even care anymore.<\/p>

Toph elbowed her way out of Sokka's embrace, then sat up and turned to face him. She could tell she was blushing, and if the moon was bright enough – if Yue was bright enough – then Sokka probably saw it. She'd always tried to avoid letting him see her blush before, but it was sort of too late to matter now.<\/p>

She grabbed his head and held it still, then leaned forward and kissed him, very gently.<\/p>

(Toph didn't usually like gentle, but this was different.)<\/p>

Sokka made no move to kiss back, but she hadn't really expected him to, anyway. His lack of participation still caught in her throat and made it hard to swallow. Toph grit her teeth.<\/p>

"Get over yourself," she mumbled, entirely too caught up in the speed of Sokka's heartbeat and what she knew it didn't mean. "You're a popular guy. Lots of people love you."<\/p>

Sokka jerked a little in her grip, and Toph tightened it. She felt her face heat up even more but ignored it. She steadfastly chose not to consider what she'd just said any kind of declaration, just a statement of fact.<\/p>

Then she kissed him again, despite herself. His mouth was warm, and slack from surprise, and he shivered when she touched him. Her hands were sweating. Sokka didn't move at all.<\/p>

Toph pulled back. "You're going to find someone. And you're going to be really, really happy with her, okay?" Her throat hurt. Her eyes pricked, but Toph blinked hard once, and the feeling disappeared. "So quit your whining and cheer up already."<\/p>

Toph let go of Sokka's face, and scrambled to her feet, turning away from him to start up the hill. She felt him slowly getting to his feet behind her, felt his every vibration traveling through the earth straight up into her, and her steps turned into stomps as she led the way back home.<\/p>

He didn't say anything the whole way back, and then went to his room immediately. Toph bent a cone of earth completely around herself and curled up inside like an unhatched platypus bear, watching him toss and turn, pace and kick his bed and hop around in pain, then lay back down and stay very, very still for a long time, heart beating much too fast for sleep. He leapt up abruptly and stared out the window for several minutes. Then he slumped to the floor and buried his head in his hands, before finally getting back into bed and slowly falling asleep.<\/p>

Toph bent herself out of her cocoon. Her nose was stuffy and her head hurt. She hoped she hadn't messed everything up. She went to bed and slept with her feet wrapped in the blankets, trying to blot out the world.<\/p>

---<\/p>

The next morning, Toph woke to the smell of porridge, and when she slumped into the kitchen, it was to the familiar vibrations of her metalbending students gathered round the table.<\/p>

She sort of wanted to thank them for their convenient timing; even if they all hadn't presented her with her name in metal (Toph<\/i>, Beifong<\/i>, Metalbending<\/i>, Academy<\/i>, and kickass<\/i> were the extent of her literacy) as soon as she entered the room, she might not have beaten them up, simply out of gratitude.<\/p>

Well, no, she probably would have – if only to keep face.<\/p>

Sokka was nowhere to be seen, but no one else had been either for as long as Toph had lived; she knew he was in his room. She could feel him packing his things.<\/p>

Her kind of sight was way more useful than most peoples'. She was able to prepare herself for his leaving long before he came out into the kitchen and announced his intention to return to the South Pole.<\/p>

Toph just grinned, and slurped up enough porridge to burn her tongue. "About time," she lisped around the mouthful. "I'll give you a ride to the harbor."<\/p>

She half-expected Sokka to argue, but he didn't. She wasn't sure if that meant anything significant or if it was just his laziness acting up again. It didn't really matter. She'd screwed things up last night, and Toph knew it. If Sokka wanted to run away, she wasn't going to stop him. Some other time she might have – but he'd come to her for help, and instead she'd just put even more on his plate. She deserved a little penance right now.<\/p>

That didn't mean she had any desire to be alone with him, though, so Toph commanded her students to come along. The Dark One – a prime example of ridiculous boy moping – grumbled, which gave her an excellent excuse to punch a small boulder at him. It hadn't felt right holding back for so long.<\/p>

"Shut up, you need the practice," she told them, and that was that. Toph rather liked her word being law. She totally didn't understand why Zuko whined about it all the time in his letters (which she made Ho Tun read aloud to her because he was always so hilariously terrified by having to read Sparky's snotty comments about her).<\/p>

They got moving fairly quickly. Sokka had always been efficient about that sort of stuff, and under Toph's supervision, their rock chariot far outstripped any ostrich-horses on the road. It made a lot of noise, too, enough to prevent any conversation.<\/p>

Despite all their speed, it was somehow much too long a journey to the nearest coast. Sokka leapt to the ground as soon as they arrived, and Toph only followed because he'd grabbed her arm and yanked her down after him.<\/p>

"I'm going to borrow your teacher for a minute!" Sokka shouted, and then dragged her forcefully across the street. Toph could have dug her feet into the ground (literally) and refused to go with him, but she wasn't that much of a coward even about this. She contented herself with ripping her arm free of his hold and walking by herself.<\/p>

Sokka led through the marketplace for a while before coming to a halt at a stand, where he then proceeded to haggle viciously with the salesman for over fifteen minutes. In the end the man threw whatever it was at Sokka, spit angrily on the ground, and accepted only five coins. Toph stood to the side, tapping a foot impatiently all the while.<\/p>

He didn't even bother to pretend that it wasn't a gift for her: he just handed Toph a small jade hairpin. He didn't ask her to put it on, or explain the gift, just began leading the way back to the docks. Toph followed grumpily, hairpin squeezed tight in her fist. Neither spoke until they reached their destination.<\/p>

Then Sokka turned and caught Toph up in a fierce Water Tribe bearhug, lifting her right off the ground. For several long seconds, she was blind; her senses limited only to what she could feel, which was all Sokka. His warmth, his strength, his stupid furry collar tickling her nose.<\/p>

He set her down.<\/p>

"I'll come visit again," he said, and turned to go. Toph almost let him. She understood what he'd been saying with his hug – they'd still be friends. She hadn't ruined everything, at least. Sokka was never going to mention this again and she didn't have to either, and they wouldn't stop being friends. That was what the gift meant, too. He wasn't going to let her stupid mistake ruin them, and that was great, but it wasn't enough.<\/p>

She called out after him. "Are you going to stop moping now?"<\/p>

Sokka stopped walking. Toph's eyes began to sting again, and she clenched the hairpin in her hand so tight that it began to really hurt. She felt like a child. But she didn't care. She asked again, a stupid tremble in her stupid voice: "Did I cheer you up?"<\/p>

She felt Sokka turn and walk back towards her. Toph held her breath, but then she got mad at herself and blew her bangs out of her face instead. Sokka stopped in front of her. He reached out and gently peeled her fingers away from the hairpin. He used it to clip her bangs back off her face.<\/p>

"Yeah," Sokka said softly. "Yeah, you did. Thanks, Toph."<\/p>

Then he bent down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. His lips were warm, and gentle, and Toph didn't move at all. She just watched him step back and start walking away again. She concentrated solely on him, and followed his unhurried progress through the crowd, all the way to when he hit the dock and she could no longer feel his presence at all. Only then did she move.<\/p>

Toph reached up and touched the hairpin. Then she slid it carefully out of her hair and put it in her pocket, letting her bangs fall back into her face. She closed her eyes and then opened them, even though it made no difference whatsoever. She touched her forehead with a single dirty finger, leaving a dark smudge behind.<\/p>

Then Toph smiled – slow and wide and the greatest earthbender in the world, the inventor of metalbending, just a girl made of pure awesome.<\/p>

And she began to swagger back home.<\/p>
<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/57216.html?view=comments#comments","category":["toph\/sokka","avatar: the last airbender"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/56928.html","pubDate":"Tue, 04 Sep 2012 15:08:24 GMT","title":"Want","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/56928.html","description":"Title: <\/b>Want
Summary: <\/b>He knows he didn't want it to be like this.
Spoilers: <\/b>Chapter 71 tag, so expect spoilers for that. Though not many.



He knows he didn't want it to be like this. He didn't want this to happen now, he didn't want it to be some sort of apology, didn't want her to be crying<\/em>. He didn't want this, and shouldn't want this, and should know better, and should have done things differently, and should stop now to explain. He shouldn't do this, not this way.<\/p>

He's incapable of doing otherwise. Sawako's coat is soft under his fingers, her shoulders trembling, her own hands trapped between their bodies and slowly curling into his coat. She's closed her eyes again. The tears on her face glisten like the snow does all around them and the rest of the world has cut out completely.<\/p>

He wanted to treasure her. He wanted something completely different. He wanted – he tried so very hard<\/em> not to want this, not to do this, tried to control himself every moment, tried to be good enough for her. Sawako is somehow beyond such commonplace physical actions, and he shouldn't try to force her to do something she's not ready for yet. It – it's only been half a year, and that may be an eternity<\/em> to Shouta, who wanted to kiss her for the first time on the day he met her, when she smiled so peacefully under the sakura and his heart lurched a little and he wondered just who this girl was, and he's only wanted her increasingly more since – but Sawako has had to try so hard just to make friends. The fact that she likes him back is far more than he should ever ask for. It should be enough for him. He's told himself this so many times.<\/p>

But she thought he didn't like her anymore. Shouta never thought – he can't have been thinking at all. It never even occurred to him that Sawako would doubt his love for her. It's not the sort of thing that's possible to doubt. It's as true and unrelenting as the very air around him, though perhaps he needs a better simile as the air doesn't seem to exist anymore now that his lips are touching hers. Shouta can't comprehend not<\/em> loving Sawako, lives every day incredibly thankful and yet perplexed as to why no one else seems to see her the same way he does – so he didn't realize what his efforts to restrain himself must have looked like. But of course, of course<\/em> he was going about it all wrong, but this can't be right either, she's crying<\/em>, it should have been more than this.<\/p>

He should want it to be more than this, at the very least. He should feel at least the tiniest smidgen of guilt. But the cold has disappeared entirely, flushed away in a rush of tingling heat, somewhat like the head-rush one gets from standing up too quickly: Shouta is dizzy and dazed and can't want anything else. That single press of his lips to hers, that decision he didn't make, the action he had no choice but to take, their first kiss and the moment his heart stopped beating – it's driven everything from him, everything but Sawako.<\/p>

He wants her<\/em>. He tries to pull away, sucks in a breath – but oh god her eyes are so wide and he can do nothing else but shut his own, squeeze them tight and lean in again. It's so quick, but still far more than he can take; Shouta might be shaking except every part of him has frozen still, trying to savor this until the world dissolves around them… It's so much, too much<\/em>, he has to pull back. But then their eyes meet again, and he can't breathe again, and the world fades again, and he's drawn in again even though he knows better, should know better, knows nothing but Sawako's lips and breath and love meeting his own again, and he can't help but fall into her again…<\/p>

Four kisses. Forty seconds, fifty at the most. Mouths closed, hands clinging to her shoulders only. In the snow, in the middle of the street, tears on her face. This is nothing like what he wanted – he'd dreamed of so much more, so many more things, and tried so hard to hold himself back, to make all of it come so slow and count so much more than this.<\/p>

He can't understand what he was thinking at all, let alone anything else. He's unable to bear this, unable to stop, unable to think or kiss her for any longer a time or any less, torn completely apart by Sawako as always.<\/p>

And this is more than he could even have dreamed, the consequences and reasons and everything else just don't matter, not in the face of this. Perfection is the space of a less than a minute that outlasts his entire life up to this point, and Shouta knows of nothing but that he loves her, his Sawako, Sawako.<\/p>

He knows he didn't want it to be like this. He can't bring himself to care.<\/p>
<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/56928.html?view=comments#comments","category":["kazehaya\/kuronuma","kimi ni todoke"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/56667.html","pubDate":"Mon, 06 Aug 2012 04:26:41 GMT","title":"Tiny Turnabouts 6","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/56667.html","description":"Title: <\/b>Tiny Turnabouts
Summary: <\/b>A series of short, humorous fills from the kink meme.

Chapter Title: <\/b>Parting Ways
Chapter Prompt: <\/b>Any major character is lying on their death-bed. Everyone that he\/she knows gathers around the bed, and he\/she tells each of them how they changed his\/her life. Bonus points for last-minute confession of love.
Chapter Warning: <\/b>Slash.


"Miles Edgeworth, you shot me in the shoulder, were a pain in the ass during puberty, and then I didn't even get to convict you of your father's murder. I hate you.<\/p>

"Phoenix Wright, come closer so I can taze you again. And again, and again, until you've stopped twitching. You sent me to prison and ruined my perfect record<\/i>. I HATE you.<\/p>

"Gant - it's time we parted ways. I'll miss you and those late-night swimming sessions. It never was the same after you invited the Judge along. I - oh, there's no point in hiding it now - I love you, Gant. Kiss me<\/i>."<\/p>
<\/a>
","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/56667.html?view=comments#comments","category":["tiny turnabouts","prompted","phoenix wright: ace attorney","manfred\/gant"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/56388.html","pubDate":"Mon, 06 Aug 2012 04:24:06 GMT","title":"Tiny Turnabouts 5","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/56388.html","description":"Title: <\/b>Tiny Turnabouts
Summary: <\/b>A series of short, humorous fills from the kink meme.

Chapter Title: <\/b>Detachable
Chapter Prompt: <\/b>I want Penix Wright, an anthropomorphic penis who practices law with the PW cast. I can't be more serious.
Chapter Warnings: <\/b>Genitalia in a suit.
Chapter Notes: <\/b>Title, some paraphrased lines, and the basic idea borrowed from 'Detachable Penis' by the Butthole Surfers.



"So, um..." Maya asked, "how exactly did this start happening?"<\/p>

Phoenix scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "Well, it's always been detachable. You know that - I mean, you found it lying around the office often enough. I've always kind of liked that, it made me feel unique."<\/p>

With a huff, the Master of Kurain gestured down at the defense's bench. "Yeah, but when did it start practicing law?<\/i>"<\/p>

Phoenix sighed. "After I lost my badge, I went through a... tough time, at first. I was feeling pretty depressed. Spent a lot of time just sitting around drinking grape juice, you know."<\/p>

Maya nodded sympathetically. "I'm sorry I couldn't come help you. I was so worried, but they really needed me at Kurain."<\/p>

Phoenix smiled at her. "You know I don't blame you. But, anyway, one night I woke up at two in the morning and it was gone. I looked everywhere for it, and I was getting pretty worried when I eventually found it in the office around lunchtime, studying my law-books."<\/p>

A cheer rose up from the crowd in the gallery around them as the lawyer below made an excellent point that rendered the witness's faulty testimony obsolete. "Mr. Wright, astute as always," the Judge said fondly.<\/p>

Phoenix sighed. "And then next thing I knew, I got a little blue suit in the mail, and it went off to court. I don't even know when it ordered the suit."<\/p>

Even though the evidence was right before her, Maya still shook her head disbelievingly. "This is just so weird, though. I mean, it was weird when everyone bought Xin Eohp's act, but this is even weirder."<\/p>

"I try to think of it positively," Phoenix said. "At least a part of me is still involved in practicing law. I mean, sure, going to the bathroom is kind of annoying when it's out investigating or in the court, and I admit going without it for too long makes me feel like less of a man somehow, but it's not too bad. It's kind of nice to be able to hear people talking about the defense lawyer, 'Mr. Wright' again."<\/p>

Maya nodded thoughtfully. "I guess that's true. But - doesn't it bother you a little? I mean, the way everyone is so..."<\/p>

She was cut off by another loud cheer from the crowd, and the familiar sound of the Judge's gavel. "Well! Irrefutable evidence, as always. Undeniable logic! All the witnesses' lies unraveled and the truth clearly revealed! I feel almost unnecessary when you're in the courtroom!"<\/p>

The prosecutor attempted a feeble, "Objection!" but the Judge drowned him out with another bang of his gavel.<\/p>

"No further deliberation is necessary. With Penix Wright as the defense lawyer, why would it be? The defendant is NOT GUILTY!"<\/p>

"...Yeah," Phoenix admitted quietly, having to whisper into Maya's ear in order to be heard over the jubilant crowd. "That's the only real downside - everyone loves my penis way more than me."<\/p>
<\/a>
","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/56388.html?view=comments#comments","category":["tiny turnabouts","prompted","phoenix wright: ace attorney","gen"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/56096.html","pubDate":"Mon, 06 Aug 2012 04:21:06 GMT","title":"Tiny Turnabouts 4","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/56096.html","description":"Title: <\/b>Tiny Turnabouts
Summary: <\/b>A series of short, humorous fills from the kink meme.

Chapter Title: <\/b>The Moment of Truth
Chapter Prompt: <\/b>In another time, another place, trials are conducted via gladiatorial deathmatches.
Chapter Warnings: <\/b>Violence, minor language.



"Relax<\/i>, Phoenix, you'll do just fine. This really isn't that hard of a case at all, and I'll be at the bench supporting you," Mia assured her protege as she helped him strap on his armor. "And, remember - no matter how fierce they may seem, every prosecutor has a weak spot." She decided not to mention the legendary Von Karma just now.<\/p>

Phoenix nodded, trembling a little and clearly experiencing that same terrifying why-did-I-ever-want-to-do-this?<\/i> panic of every first-timer. Mia smiled fondly. He'd change his tune once he experienced the true thrill of the kill.<\/p>

"Now, what's left... oh yes! You can't go in there without your tie." Mia slipped the red fabric around Phoenix's shoulders, before tying it in place with practiced ease. Though she never wore a tie herself, she was still infinitely better than Phoenix was at avoiding getting it caught on the spikes of his armor or helmet.<\/p>

This action was completed just in time, as the BOOM<\/b> of the Judge's gavel rang out, signifying their turn to enter the courtroom. Defense attorneys always entered second. The gates in front of them creaked open ominously, the bailiffs operating them giving Phoenix pitying looks as he tried not to cower. Mia nearly snickered; they would be quite surprised at the outcome of this trial, she was sure. Even though Phoenix was up against the famed Rookie Killer, Prosecutor Payne (who had reigned almost undefeated once he'd recovered from the near-mortal wound she had inflicted on him in her<\/i> first trial). Phoenix had that special something a true lawyer needed, that ability to think in the moment, to object with unrelenting force, to press and press and unrelentingly press until he found the weak point in both the witnesses' testimony and the prosecutor's armor. Mia just knew it.<\/p>

Also, he was damn lucky. That was a skill all its own, in a court like this.<\/p>

So Mia wasn't terribly surprised when Phoenix managed to, in between parrys with Payne, unravel the truth behind the murder of his friend Larry's girlfriend. She wiped his sweat and gave him advice (both legal and martial) during the recesses and in-between witness testimonies, watching with pride as Phoenix's earlier fear all but vanished in his quest for the truth. And, in the final crucial moment, she reached into her bag of evidence and tossed him the clock just in time for him to smash it into his opponent with a battle roar of, "OBJECTION!"<\/p>

Yes, though he may not look like much to others, and though he was still in need of guidance and training, Mia just knew Phoenix Wright was going to be the kind of lawyer that lived long enough to retire. That was why she had taken him in as her pupil in the end, not because of his relentless begging. And certainly not because he was just the right type of underdog to make the crowd scream in bloodthirsty glee and allow her to win huge<\/i> in the betting pool (though that certainly helped).<\/p>

All his earlier fear was gone now, swept away in that oh-so-familiar exuberance one could only experience by fighting for their own and the defendant's lives - and succeeding<\/i>. Pheonix towered over Payne's prone form, clock pointed threateningly down at the prosecutor's unmoving body; and though he was bloody and bruised, though his armor was dented and scratched and half-torn off in some places, though his tie had been completely ripped in two - he'd uncovered the truth, and that was all Mia needed to see to convince her she had chosen her successor wisely.<\/p>

All she needed to hear came next: the pounding of the gavel, followed by those eternally sweet words: "NOT GUILTY!"<\/p>
<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/56096.html?view=comments#comments","category":["tiny turnabouts","prompted","phoenix wright: ace attorney","gen"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/55871.html","pubDate":"Mon, 06 Aug 2012 04:17:43 GMT","title":"Tiny Turnabouts 3","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/55871.html","description":"Title: <\/b>Tiny Turnabouts
Summary: <\/b>A series of short, humorous fills from the kink meme.

Chapter Title: <\/b>Unforgivable
Chapter Prompt: <\/b>Klavier gets a really bad sore throat the night before a big concert. He can't bring himself to cancel the concert, so the only option is to go on stage and *gasp!*...lip-sing<\/i>. I want to see how Klavier handles this. Bonus if a vengeful Daryan is in the crowd and looking for a scandal.



Everything had been arranged, as it must be. Klavier had been in agony; he couldn't even say two words without breaking into a terrible coughing fit. Every doctor he consulted had been quite firm in stating that his strep throat would simply not allow him to perform a concert.<\/p>

But, of course, the show must go on... The Gavinners did not cancel. That was a rule set even deeper in stone than all of Klavier's perfectionist commands about performance quality – to cancel would be an unbearable affront to their fans' time and money, not to mention expectations. And, in the end, the concert had actually gone wonderfully. Klavier had practiced his lip-singing long into the night in preparation, determined that if he be forced to do such a thing, then he would at least do it perfectly<\/i>. The fans hadn't noticed the difference (which, though it broke Klavier's heart a little, was the desired outcome) and overall the concert went off without a hitch.<\/p>

That was, until a certain ex-band-member contacted the press. Daryan had somehow noticed the switch, and went public with it immediately, even presenting evidence in the form of a video showing the slightest time lapse between Klavier's movements and a single line in the three-hour show. Reporters swarmed Klavier's home, determined to discover the rock star's justifications for his actions... but they never did.<\/p>

Klavier Gavin was gone. No one could find him, no matter how they searched. Broken-hearted, hating his fall from perfection and his betrayal of his fans, Klavier had simply vanished, as if into the wind.<\/p>

The only thing he'd left behind was a six-word note, which sent the press into a tail-spin of wild speculations. Fans across the world cried that they forgave Klavier, that they understood he'd been forced by his ill health, that everything would be fine so long as he just came back to them - but to no avail. Klavier was gone, and all that remained of him was a single note, eternally depressing in its implications.<\/p>

Rock god Klavier Gavin chooses death.<\/i><\/p>
<\/a>
","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/55871.html?view=comments#comments","category":["tiny turnabouts","prompted","phoenix wright: ace attorney","gen"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/55671.html","pubDate":"Mon, 06 Aug 2012 04:14:26 GMT","title":"Tiny Turnabouts 2","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/55671.html","description":"Title: <\/b>Tiny Turnabouts
Summary: <\/b>A series of short, humorous fills from the kink meme.

Chapter Title: <\/b>W-pssh!
Chapter Prompt: <\/b>Edgeworth is kidnapped by someone who has a personal vendetta against him (author's choice!) and tortured mainly by whipping (other forms of physical abuse can be included too, but no rape\/dismemberment please). Edgey is defiant at first but slowly starts to break down.
Chapter Warning: <\/b>Violence.


With a loud crack!<\/i> the bullwhip whistled through the air to impact sharply against Miles Edgeworth's naked back for the 64th time that morning. Panting, arm aching, the villainous kidnapper who had been doing the whipping decided to take a break, and sat down on a nearby chair to gulp down a bottle of water.<\/p>

"I don't understand," he complained between gulps. "How... how is this even possible?"<\/p>

Edgeworth, though suspended shirtless from chains, despite having been kidnapped and whipped violently for days on end, merely smirked, and made a 'tsk<\/i>'ing sound between his teeth. "I lived with Franziska von Karma for years, from the time she received her first riding crop until the day she mastered the cat o' nine tails - and what's more, I was her competition for her father's attention." Shaking his head condescendingly from side to side, the prosecutor shrugged his completely uninjured shoulders. "I'd advise you to look at this logically and recognize you'll never break me. Now, if you would be so kind as to release me, I have paperwork to be getting to."<\/p>
<\/a>
","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/55671.html?view=comments#comments","category":["tiny turnabouts","prompted","phoenix wright: ace attorney","gen"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/55423.html","pubDate":"Mon, 06 Aug 2012 04:10:36 GMT","title":"Tiny Turnabouts 1","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/55423.html","description":"Title: <\/b>Tiny Turnabouts
Summary: <\/b>A series of short, humorous fills from the kink meme.

Chapter Title: <\/b>Animal Magnetism
Chapter Prompt: <\/b>Klavier\/Polly. As in the parrot.



Klavier grinned charmingly, leaning forward on one hand. He looked like he was flirting at a bar rather than questioning a witness in a murder trial, and the sound of swooning women filled the audience.<\/p>

"Your name, Fraulein?" he purred.<\/p>

From the consultant's seat in the defense box, Phoenix Wright spoke up. "Oh, that won't work. You've got to use its name or it won't answer. You have to call it -"<\/p>

"Polly!" Squawked the parrot suddenly, flapping its wings and ducking its head bashfully. Apollo stared, but as the bird began to peek up at the still-smiling prosecutor before quickly hiding its head under its - or rather her<\/i> wing again, he felt himself starting to blush on its behalf. He had plenty of experience being flustered by Klavier himself... as did most of the world when Klavier looked at them like that<\/i>, but still, this was a bit much.<\/p>

Klavier thought so too, judging by the way his smile hitched a bit before he resumed his questions. Throughout the whole process, the parrot at the stand was very cooperative. Perhaps a bit... too cooperative; by the time his cross-examination came around, Apollo had to take a deep breath to stifle his laughter before beginning his own enquiries.<\/p>

Polly turned her head haughtily away (one eye cracked open and trained on Klavier), and did not answer, until Apollo finally took Phoenix's advice and prefaced every new statement with her name - and even then, the responses were short and blunt. It was a little frustrating to be treated so rudely, but the consternation on Klavier's face when Polly was released from the cross-examination only to flap straight to him and attempt to nibble his ears was definitely worth it.<\/p>

"Er... Fraulein, please," Klavier hemmed, awkwardly trying to fend off the amorous avian's advances while still maintaining his trademark charm and courtesy, "I don't... um... Ah - your wing's getting in my eye -"<\/p>

Apollo had never seen a more beautiful sight, and spent the next month telling Klavier that this was exactly why he always told him not to flirt with witnesses, and teasing him about his "animal magnetism". Once again, the slightly confused blush on Klavier's face was hilarious - smooth talker though the prosecutor was, having a parrot<\/i> fall for his charms was a little more than even he could handle, and he eventually agreed to tone it down.<\/p>

The only downside to the whole affair was when Phoenix relayed the tale to Trucy, who promptly began to crack jokes about 'Klavier and Polly perching in a tree' while shooting meaningful glances at Apollo.<\/p>
<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/55423.html?view=comments#comments","category":["tiny turnabouts","prompted","phoenix wright: ace attorney","gen"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/55206.html","pubDate":"Mon, 06 Aug 2012 04:05:10 GMT","title":"What Once Was","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/55206.html","description":"Title: <\/b>What Once Was
Summary: <\/b>Sometimes Calisto does things she doesn't mean to. Calisto\/Kay femmeslash, with a supernatural twist.
Prompt: <\/b>Kay Faraday\/Calisto Yew with Calisto a fallen angel with no memory of being an angel.



Sometimes Calisto does things she doesn't mean to.<\/p>

Most of the time, her every action is controlled, her disguise complete except for her tell-tale laughter (the only thing she can't change about herself). She goes by 'Calisto Yew' now because that is how Kay knows her, but the truth is 'Calisto' is just another alias. Every identity she's ever had is an alias, because Calisto has no memories before Quercus Alba. So it's very possible that there is some dark secret hidden in her past which is the cause of these strange things she does.<\/p>

She doesn't say anything about this though, because the things that Calisto doesn't mean to do are impossible. They are the kind of things that most people don't connect to her, because to connect such occurrences to Calisto would mean they believed in magic. But Calisto knows these things are all her fault: the lightbulbs that flicker out, the storms, the convenient accident that befell the other prisoner who used to leer at Kay whenever she visited. That woman can't leer at anyone anymore, because she has no eyes. And Calisto can't control these things that happen, but she knows they are her fault, and she wonders if she should feel guilty.<\/p>

She can't, even if she ought to. Calisto hasn't felt much of anything as far as she can remember, except shallow amusement or satisfaction at a job well done. She devoted her every action to serving Quercus, but it wasn't out of any true loyalty. Calisto just had nothing else to cling to, and perhaps that's why she is so affected when Kay Faraday smiles at her.<\/p>

The time with Byrne Faraday and Tyrell Badd was doomed to end badly from the beginning. Calisto went into the Yatagarasu as a spy, and knew from the start that she would betray her fellow thieves. When the time came, she did so without hesitation. But afterwards… she felt regret, in a distant sort of way. Byrne and Tyrell had been her companions, her comrades, almost her friends, and it hurt a little to betray them. Calisto didn't like that feeling, so she'd buried it under layers upon layers of duty and deception, and had traveled to Zheng Fa to start a new life.<\/p>

That didn't work out so well in the end, Shi-na the second mask stripped away by that young prosecutor's clear-cut logic and fiery eyes. But this time there was a girl too, claiming to be the next Yatagarasu, Faraday's daughter, and Calisto didn't want to care but she did. Kay's eyes were trained on her, all anger and hate and sadness, and Calisto thought of Faraday's smile, and she let the girl keep the 'hair-sticks' with dirt on the ends.<\/p>

They might not figure it out, she told herself, but the metal of her handcuffs grew hot, the siren juddered in its wailing, and Calisto gave up lying to herself. She had betrayed again, and despite all his multiple layers of protection, she had a feeling Quercus would be joining her in jail before morning.<\/p>

When Calisto thought of Byrne's daughter and how she had held on so tightly to Little Thief, she decided she didn't regret it. And, several months later when Kay first visited her in jail and told her thank you, Calisto experienced her first moment of genuine happiness.<\/p>

Kay's visited every week since then, and while sometimes her gaze is still heavy with hatred, other times she listens quietly to Calisto's stories, or laughs as tells her own tales, of 'Gummy' and Edgeworth and her everyday efforts to become a Yatagarasu worthy of the name. Calisto doesn't know why Kay matters so much, but the girl does. Every smile is another jolt straight to her heart, and Calisto starts to dream things, starts to do things she doesn't mean to because her emotions are so real<\/i> for the first time and she can't control herself anymore. The strange power bursts loose, flickering light bulbs, blinding inmates, humming powerful through the air when Kay leans across the metal table for the first time and presses her lips to Calisto's, mysterious strength thrumming in time with her rapid heartbeat because Calisto loves this girl, and despite all odds is loved back.<\/p>

Kay smiles, and says, "I've stolen your heart."<\/p>

And the air is supercharged with something that once was, and Calisto is so overjoyed with what now is for the first time that she doesn't even notice the metal of her handcuffs searing her skin.<\/p>

"But it's okay," the second Yatagarasu continues, wrapping her hands tight around Calisto's shaking fingers, "because you've stolen mine too."<\/p>

–And Calisto, handcuffed to the table in a secure prison facility, could swear she's got wings.<\/p>
<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/55206.html?view=comments#comments","category":["prompted","phoenix wright: ace attorney","calisto\/kay"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/54958.html","pubDate":"Mon, 06 Aug 2012 04:02:24 GMT","title":"Simple","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/54958.html","description":"Title: <\/b>Simple
Summary:<\/b> Most things in their lives are complicated. This isn't.
Prompt:<\/b> Far too often I see Edgewright fics where they're both like "Demo he'd never love a baka like me, desu," or "It's just a crush and he's not gay, and neither am I!" But what if they both felt comfortable with their homosexuality\/bisexuality and could both read facial cues well (like in canon) and thus figured out their mutual attraction naturally. No need for alcohol to loosen their inhibitions or anything, just a mutual and 100% consensual shindig.



It began with the glances. They lasted a little too long, just enough that Phoenix found himself noticing and wondering. Sometimes their eyes met, and while he always tried to play it off as nothing, he got the feeling that Edgeworth was doing the same.<\/p>

Next were the smiles. Little grins, nothing too noticeable for most, but Phoenix had sharp eyes and he saw. More than saw, he recognized<\/i> those smiles, because they were just the same sort of little grins he got himself, and for the same reasons. He hoped for the same reasons. He thought probably. His own smiles were growing more frequent, and he saw Edgeworth notice them too, and they grew a little wider though he tried to bite them back, just in case he was wrong.<\/p>

He knew he was right when the touching began. Once again, it was only little things; brushing past each other, fingers bumping as they paid for the check, that sort of incidental little touching that happens to everyone, just not nearly this often. Phoenix was responsible for at least half of it – but only half, and finally, the touches began to linger longer and longer, glances colliding, small smiles unfolding identically at each other.<\/p>

The whole thing was very quiet, and gradual – a welcome change of pace from the drama in the rest of their lives. A calm, secret, unspoken little pleasure that persisted for much longer than it should have because Phoenix felt unaccountably nervous about ruining this with words.<\/p>

They never really did talk about it. At first it was just work, then friendship, and then their meetings grew more frequent and finally slid into dates, and Phoenix kissed Edgeworth long and slow outside his front door one night, and the next Edgeworth parked his sports car at Gourd Lake and they necked a little more before going back to discussing their latest case.<\/p>

Even revealing their relationship to the public seemed to happen simply; it just slipped out, the next time Oldbag was having a good rant at Edgeworth: "Sorry, he's taken."<\/p>

Phoenix didn't even especially mind Oldbag flirting with Edgeworth (he thought it was hilarious) but the words seemed to leave his mouth of their own volition and no one was surprised. Maya nodded wisely along, Gumshoe was beaming proudly as though he'd had something to do with it, and Larry just took it as an opportunity to make a pass at Maya. Even Oldbag just huffed in irritation and turned her attentions to the Judge.<\/p>

Phoenix glanced over at Edgeworth, who was glancing back, and they smiled identical small smiles, and it really was that simple, it really was, and after the trial was over they left the courtroom together and held hands in the parking lot where they could pretend no one would see even though they knew everyone probably would.<\/p>

And it was just that, just enough.<\/p>
<\/a>
","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/54958.html?view=comments#comments","category":["prompted","phoenix wright: ace attorney","phoenix\/edgeworth"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/54600.html","pubDate":"Mon, 06 Aug 2012 03:59:54 GMT","title":"Assertive","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/54600.html","description":"Title:<\/b> Assertive
Summary: <\/b>Phoenix has always thought Edgeworth was asexual... so when he realized that the prosecutor only opens the door for him in order to check out his ass, he is understandably surprised.
Prompt:<\/b> Phoenix realizes that the only reason Edgeworth opens the door for him is so he can check out his ass. Bonuses if Edgeworth isn't at all flustered, and uses the confrontation to get Phoenix to admit to having feelings for him.



To be honest, Phoenix had always thought of Edgeworth as being totally asexual.<\/p>

Sure, he supposed it was plausible that the man was merely shy or something… possibly… hypothetically… –or maybe Edgeworth just liked to keep his personal life very private, which was vastly more imaginable, since Phoenix already knew it to be fact. Still, despite knowing that it was feasible <\/i>that Edgeworth wasn't asexual, Phoenix had always considered that to be the truth. Actually, he hadn't really even thought about it.<\/p>

Incredibly gay though it might sound, Phoenix's dedicated pursuit of Edgeworth, spanning over a decade of no contact, and inevitably leading him down the path of law – well, it had always been purely platonic. Yes, always. Even when he'd realized midway through college that he was bisexual (and had a few daydreams about Larry before deciding never to go there<\/i>). Phoenix just had never thought of Edgeworth that way, because Edgeworth and anything involving sex were just so incompatible in his mind.<\/p>

Sure, Maya often tried to subtly get Phoenix to admit that he was in love with Edgeworth – claiming that they were "just so gay for each other" and that it was "cute" – but she was as far off the mark as Pearls was about him and Maya. Phoenix had gone to great lengths for Edgeworth, yes, but it wasn't out of love. He simply valued his friendships just that highly, and if Maya thought back over his acquaintance of her<\/i>, she might realize that Phoenix had done similarly drastic things for her (such as, oh, trying to run across a burning bridge).<\/p>

The accusations never really bothered Phoenix, though. Partly this was because Fey girls were apparently huge fangirls (which made him wonder what Mia would have supported...), and it wasn't worth getting bothered. But mostly, Phoenix was just secure enough in his (assumed) knowledge of Edgeworth's asexuality to let the teasing roll off his back. Phoenix would never like Edgeworth romantically, and Edgeworth would never like Phoenix romantically – both for the same reason. Edgeworth was asexual. It was just incomprehensible to Phoenix that Edgeworth wouldn't<\/i> be, and he'd always been very amused at all the girls (or Oldbags) swooning over his handsome friend.<\/p>

So when Phoenix realized that Edgeworth only opened the door for him in order to check out his ass, he was understandably surprised.<\/p>

At first, he'd thought that door-opening was just another aspect of the Von Karma manners which had been trained into his friend. Then he'd noticed that Edgeworth didn't open the door for everyone. Phoenix had felt a little touched at that, believing that Edgeworth only opened the door for his friends. Then he'd noticed that Edgeworth didn't open the door for anyone<\/i> except Phoenix himself, not even Gumshoe or Larry… and okay, that he could understand, but Edgeworth got along well with Maya and he didn't open the door for her either.<\/p>

Weird<\/i>, Phoenix had thought, but he'd let it go. And then the courthouse's front lobby had undergone a bit of a redecoration, which involved the addition of several mirrors on the walls. Phoenix had happened to glance into one of these mirrors on his way in the front door (which Edgeworth was holding open for him) – only to notice the distinct downward cast of Edgeworth's eyes.<\/p>

Mouth falling open, Phoenix halted in his tracks. Edgeworth's gaze lingered on his rear end for another moment, before lifting to a more respectable height as he said, "Wright, you're blocking the door."<\/p>

"Wha– oh, um, sorry!" Phoenix stuttered, before starting to walk again. He instantly began rationalizing to himself: he must have seen that wrong, or maybe he'd dropped something, or had a stain on his pants or… he must've just seen that wrong. Edgeworth had no reason to be ogling any part of Phoenix. It must be a mistake.<\/p>

But it wasn't.<\/p>

Edgeworth kept doing it. And honestly, now that Phoenix was looking, it was obvious where his friend's gaze was aimed. Edgeworth wasn't exactly being subtle; though, to be fair, were it not for the new mirror, he wouldn't really have needed to be. And there was definitely interest<\/i> in that gaze. Phoenix's butt practically tingled under the level of appreciative interest it was receiving. Phoenix's brain, meanwhile, was hard-pressed not to explode.<\/p>

He considered just ignoring it. Edgeworth had been opening doors for him for a long time, and their relationship hadn't changed. But Phoenix felt so terribly self-conscious<\/i> now that he knew the truth. He didn't think he'd be able to just ignore the fact that every time he went through a doorway, Edgeworth was going to leer at his behind. He'd start blushing horribly, or trying to walk through doors sideways, or something, and give himself away anyway. He couldn't just refuse to let Edgeworth hold doors for him, either. That would be rude and unprovoked, or at least it would come across that way if Phoenix didn't explain his reasons.<\/p>

No, the only thing to do was confront this matter head-on. There would be no more sneaky ass-ogling if Phoenix had his say! All he had to do was bring it up casually, maybe over lunch, and politely tell Edgeworth that being stared at in such a way made him very uncomfortable. Edgeworth got embarrassed pretty easily, so he'd probably bluster a bit, before agreeing not to do it anymore.<\/p>

Phoenix nodded firmly to himself. He would ask Edgeworth to stop the ogling (–and he would continue to steadfastly ignore just what the ogling might mean about Edgeworth's true sexuality and\/or their relationship, because thoughts of that nature were honestly kind of frightening).<\/p>

---<\/p>

"No."<\/p>

"W-what?"<\/p>

Edgeworth shrugged, then crossed his arms, a familiar smirk on his face. "I refuse to stop staring at your ass when I open doors for you."<\/p>

Phoenix felt a blush creeping over his face. Edgeworth sounded so… crass<\/i>. And why on earth was he so calm? "Y-you can't do that!"<\/p>

"I can."<\/p>

"But –" Phoenix halted, momentarily stunned. This conversation was not going the way he'd expected it to. "But I'm telling you not to."<\/p>

Edgeworth tsk<\/i>ed Phoenix. "And I'm not listening. I can direct my eyes wherever I want. It's not against the law."<\/p>

"Well, no<\/i>, but – but it makes me really uncomfortable!" Phoenix insisted.<\/p>

Edgeworth eyed him speculatively. "And why is that, Wright?"<\/p>

Phoenix blinked. "Huh?"<\/p>

"Why should my appreciation of your finely formed derrière offend you?" Edgeworth raised a single eyebrow, still smirking.<\/p>

Phoenix was suddenly very glad they were sitting down (he took comfort in his 'finely formed derrière', what the hell<\/i>, being safely out of sight), but felt a little paranoid about the possibility of someone else in the diner overhearing their conversation. He lowered his voice to an insistent hiss, leaning forward across the table. "Because!<\/i> How would you like it if someone was ogling you<\/i> all the time?"<\/p>

Edgeworth looked blankly at Phoenix for a moment, before glancing pointedly around the room. A total of four women and two men (including as the cook, who should really be focusing on the food he was burning instead) stared blatantly back at him.<\/p>

Oh. Right.<\/p>

"Okay, so maybe it doesn't bother you<\/i>, but it bothers me!" Phoenix grumbled.<\/p>

"The reason it doesn't bother me, Wright, is that I do not care about these people. Their opinion of my body does not matter to me; therefore, their gazes are similarly unimportant. Likewise, my glances should not bother you." Edgeworth's face was blank, but his voice sounded a little strained, somehow. Huh. Maybe he was embarrassed, after all.<\/p>

"There's only one flaw in that statement," Phoenix sighed. "I do<\/i> care about you."<\/p>

"Ah." Edgeworth's expression seemed to… flicker<\/i> for a moment, there was really no other word for it. His hands tensed slightly around his arms, and he uncrossed them to lay them flat on the table. "So you… admire me, then."<\/p>

"Well, yeah," Phoenix admitted, a little puzzled. "Sure. Since we were little kids. What does that have to do with –" He stopped.<\/p>

Edgeworth had made a strange sound. A slightly strangled, back-of-the-throat sound. Phoenix frowned. "Do you need some water?"<\/p>

Edgeworth shook his head, cleared his throat, and then smiled. It was a strange smile – not the usual smirk from the courtroom, nor the somewhat hesitant smile Edgeworth occasionally could be coaxed to wear amongst friends. It was a new smile, wider than those previous, and looked happy. Phoenix liked it.<\/p>

"So I was correct, then," Edgeworth said, still wearing that – that pleased almost-grin, "when I deduced the reason for your discomfort was because you believed my actions evidenced a lack of sincerity on my part? I can assure you, that is not the case."<\/p>

Phoenix opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the waitress, who was staring lustfully at Edgeworth's warm expression. The prosecutor remained unruffled as he made his order, and Phoenix quickly blurted out one of his own, not caring about getting food so much as getting rid of the waitress so they could resume the conversation.<\/p>

"Um, lack of sincerity?" he asked as soon as she had retreated far enough away. "I – um, well I wasn't really thinking about that, actually." He wasn't even sure what Edgeworth meant by it.<\/p>

The eyebrow rose again. "Oh?"<\/p>

Phoenix found himself blushing once more. That 'oh' sounded really licentious <\/i>for some reason. And Edgeworth had that expression again – the same one Phoenix had been seeing in the mirror while the prosecutor was staring at his behind.<\/p>

He squirmed in his seat uncomfortably. "Y-yeah. You're just making me feel really self-conscious. I don't know why. I mean –" Phoenix laughed a little hysterically, because Edgeworth was looking at him like Maya looked at burgers, and this was all just so weird<\/i> – "I always thought you were asexual, so this is just. Um."<\/p>

The hungry expression fell off Edgeworth's face, to be replaced with a look of definite irritation. The irritation of a man being told that he is not very much of a man. "Is that so."<\/p>

Phoenix chuckled awkwardly. "Well, I guess I was wrong. Uh, right?"<\/p>

"You were wrong," Edgeworth confirmed, voice positively icy<\/i>.<\/p>

"I –I see that now," Phoenix admitted. "Sorry."<\/p>

Edgeworth held his glare for a few moments longer, but then sighed and looked away. "It's fine. I suppose I can't blame you. And perhaps I should apologize, if my reserved behaviour ever caused you any pain."<\/p>

Phoenix was a little confused. "…Why would it?"<\/p>

"You just admitted that you have always admired me, did you not? I apologize if you felt that you could not tell me because of how you perceived my sexuality." Edgeworth smirked. "Though it was your fault in the first place."<\/p>

Phoenix was getting the feeling that they were having two different conversations. "I don't really know why you think your sexuality would impact our friendship. I mean, I have<\/i> told you that I admire you. That's part of the reason that I became a lawyer, remember?"<\/p>

The smirk faded away from Edgeworth's face, to be replaced by a pensive expression. "I think," the prosecutor said carefully, after a moment, "that I need to clear up the facts. Do you mind?"<\/p>

Phoenix shrugged agreement. He was a little perplexed, himself.<\/p>

Edgeworth began. "You have always believed me to be asexual." Phoenix nodded. "But this hasn't bothered you in any way."<\/p>

"Of course not!" Phoenix insisted. Edgeworth winced.<\/p>

"I see. And you admire my conduct in the courtroom."<\/p>

"Out of it too!" Phoenix hastened to add. The frown that had crept on to Edgeworth's face did not fade.<\/p>

"You consider us friends," Edgeworth concluded, looking very disgruntled by this fact.<\/p>

"I consider you one of my best friends," Phoenix said, quietly. Edgeworth nodded.<\/p>

There was an uncomfortable silence.<\/p>

"…Were you aware," Edgeworth asked suddenly, "that Ms. Fey is fond of gazing admiringly at you during trials?"<\/p>

Phoenix blinked at the apparent non sequitur. "Well, yeah. I guess. But – she doesn't like me, or anything. She's not really looking at me like that."<\/p>

"And if she were?" Edgeworth asked, expression and voice once again indecipherable. "Would that bother you?"<\/p>

Phoenix scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Well… no, I guess not. I mean, I'd feel kind of bad about it, since she's like a sister to me, but I guess I couldn't really blame her for something like that. …If she liked me. Which she doesn't, for the record. No matter what Pearls says."<\/p>

"I see." Edgeworth met Phoenix's eyes. "In that case, my<\/i> admiring gaze also should not bother you."<\/p>

…Ah.<\/p>

"Well," Phoenix hedged, "it's not really the same thing…"<\/p>

"And why is that, Wright? Perhaps because," Edgeworth asked, leaning forward over the table, "you do not merely view me as a friend?"<\/p>

"W-what?" Phoenix stuttered, flushing. "I don't! I mean, I do! I only think of you as a friend."<\/p>

Edgeworth smirked. "The degree to which you are flustered suggests otherwise."<\/p>

"…No, the degree to which I am flustered suggests that you are flustering me! I don't like you – I've always thought you were asexual, it would be stupid to like you." Phoenix's face felt very hot, and he resented it. When had this conversation turned into him justifying himself to Edgeworth? Shouldn't it be the other way around?<\/p>

"But now you know that I am not <\/i>asexual," Edgeworth said calmly – no, smugly. "Just to clarify, Wright – I'm gay."<\/p>

For some reason, this statement made Phoenix blush even harder. Probably because Edgeworth was saying it with such significance<\/i>.<\/p>

"Furthermore," Edgeworth added, his smirk widening, "I have been, as you noticed, ogling your ass." He stopped, as though to allow Phoenix to fully consider this.<\/p>

So Phoenix considered it for a moment.<\/p>

"…Oh."<\/p>

Edgeworth's smirk was so wide it could only be considered a smile, now, and it looked downright fond. His eyes were warm and his body relaxed, and he looked utterly unguarded in a way that made Phoenix gulp and probably made the rest of the diner happy in their pants.<\/p>

"It would not be stupid to like me, Wright," Edgeworth finished, still staring straight into Phoenix's eyes, and somehow that was making it very difficult for Phoenix to breathe. "I assure you."<\/p>

Everything seemed to have gone quite still, all movement, all sound sucked away. The tension built as Edgeworth stayed put and Phoenix stayed frozen. He was absolutely lost – for words, in thought, unable to react in any other way that this shock. Though dimly aware of his surroundings, Phoenix was far too caught up in his emotions, and it came as a shock when the waitress returned, setting their meals down on the table with a slightly dazed smile directed his companion's way.<\/p>

Edgeworth leaned back in his seat, his own smile dissolving into a slightly irritated glare aimed at the waitress as he made room for her to set down his food. Phoenix, however, was grateful for her timely intervention, even if she was<\/i> completely ignoring him in favor of drooling over Edgeworth.<\/p>

The prosecutor curtly dismissed her with a, "Thank you, that's all we will be needing," before turning back to his sandwich with a sigh. Phoenix had already taken the opportunity offered by the waitress, and was stuffing his face in order to avoid speaking. Judging by his second, slightly louder, sigh, Edgeworth fully understood Phoenix's reasons for eating so vigorously, but mercifully let him get away with it anyway.<\/p>

The lawyers lapsed into silence, eating peacefully despite the intense conversation they had been having only moments before. Of course, that peace was only on the surface – well, for Phoenix at least. Though his mind and emotions were still reeling, Edgeworth on the other hand seemed to be utterly unaffected. In fact, he was projecting an aura of calm self-confidence, which really pissed Phoenix off for some reason.<\/p>

But he was used to Edgeworth being frustratingly smug, both in court and in daily life. What was far less commonplace was this – this weird, half-backwards confession Edgeworth had so nonchalantly tossed his way. It was making Phoenix's mind spin. Edgeworth had admitted to being gay and then had basically implied that he knew Phoenix was into him. He'd also strongly implied that he was into Phoenix in return, but it was so much easier to get all affronted at Edgeworth's presuming to know Phoenix's feelings than it was to consider that. After all, what right did Edgeworth have to intimate that Phoenix liked him? He'd told Maya often enough, it wasn't like that<\/i> between them. And Phoenix had clearly just stated so! How could Edgeworth continue to be so confident about this?<\/p>

And – Phoenix realized grumpily, chomping on a handful of fries – and<\/i> Edgeworth had never even agreed to stop staring at his ass!<\/p>

"You aren't doing a very good job of contradicting what I've been told about defense lawyers, Wright," a wry voice interrupted Phoenix's thoughts. He frowned in confusion, and Edgeworth took a small sip of his Samurai Soda before elaborating: "Your table manners are horrendous."<\/p>

Phoenix felt yet another<\/i> blush rising up on his cheeks, and hastily set down the handful of french fries. Edgeworth was right… but it wasn't his fault! Phoenix was used to eating out with Maya. In comparison to her, he ate like he was at a five-star restaurant. He had a feeling that excuse wouldn't get him very far with the prosecutor, though, so let the comment slide.<\/p>

Clearing his throat, he said instead, "So, about just now. I mean, I admit I'm bi, but… Honestly, I've never thought of you that way. Not ever."<\/p>

"Not even once?" Edgeworth asked. Though the words themselves were almost needy, the tone in which they were uttered was merely one of polite interest. That was weird, wasn't it? Why wasn't Edgeworth getting more worked up about this instead of Phoenix? That would be the way this would normally go.<\/p>

"No," Phoenix confirmed after a moment. He might have tried to phrase it more nicely, but Edgeworth didn't exactly seem to care overmuch and he just wanted to make himself absolutely clear. "Never."<\/p>

"Hm…" Edgeworth took a bite of his sandwich and chewed it thoughtfully for a long time. Then he swallowed, drank some more soda, and suggested, "Do so now."<\/p>

Phoenix, mid-swallow of his own drink, nearly spit it up all over the table. Only Edgeworth's livid glare prevented him from doing so (if he should spew grape juice on the man's cravat, he didn't even dare imagine<\/i> what kind of horrors would await him), and he still coughed painfully into his fist for some time. "Wh-what?" he finally spluttered, "Do what<\/i> now?"<\/p>

Edgeworth set his sandwich down on his plate quite gently. "Take a moment, Wright," he advised in a soft, low voice that should probably be outlawed in any family-friendly venue, "and think of me 'that way'. Close your eyes if it helps. If necessary, I can narrate a scenario for you."<\/p>

Phoenix stared in openmouthed horror. After a moment, he automatically took a bite of his burger, chewed, and swallowed it, still staring.<\/p>

Edgeworth's lips twitched.<\/p>

"…Fine," Phoenix said. "But I've already told you that I don't think –"<\/p>

"Wright. Close your eyes."<\/p>

With a put-upon sigh, Phoenix did so. Squirming uncomfortably down into his seat, he tried to think of Edgeworth romantically. Let's see…<\/i><\/p>

Roses? No. Sweet nothings? No. Paying for things? Please. This was Miles "I'll send you the bill for the chewing gum" Edgeworth. Nicknames?<\/p>

…Phoenix couldn't tell whether he wanted more to laugh or puke at the thought of calling Edgeworth "Miley-Wiley" or something. The thought of being called "Feenie" by the man was equally out of character – but still, maybe he had hit on something. He and Edgeworth always called each other by last names, but if Edgeworth was being romantic, then he probably wouldn't do that. So… "Phoenix" it was, then.<\/p>

At the courtroom, after a successful trial, one in which they'd worked together to reveal the truth and convict the true criminal (not Phoenix's client, who for the purposes of this 'scenario' was Maya again). Of course, the usual group would gather outside the doors – Maya so grateful to be free, Gumshoe just as overly enthusiastic as ever, Larry being a nuisance for some reason even though Phoenix hadn't meant to include him in this imagining – and Edgeworth, quiet amongst all the bluster. Smiling that new, slowly-widening smile, and maybe reaching out to touch Phoenix, too. Something small, but intimate, like a hand on his shoulder with the thumb just touching his neck, and Edgeworth's voice would be pleased and maybe a little secretive as he said, "Well done, Phoenix<\/i>."<\/p>

Phoenix's eyes snapped back open, and he jerked upright in his seat with a small shiver. Across the booth, Edgeworth was observing him patiently.<\/p>

"That seemed a rather… enjoyable scenario, Wright," he said, but although the words were smug, his voice was a little weak.<\/p>

"I wasn't imagining anything like that<\/i>," Phoenix snapped, but paused before revealing what he had actually envisioned. Thinking back on it, he had been very tame in his choice of musings; probably far more so than any 'scenario' Edgeworth would have offered.<\/p>

The mere thought of Edgeworth narrating such a thing for Phoenix to picture, in a family restaurant<\/i> no less, was mortifying. And… a little appealing, actually. Huh.<\/p>

It wasn't like Phoenix could deny that his little daydream had been pleasant. It had affected him – more strongly than it really ought to have, considering just how simple it had been, and that was probably telling. But at the same time, Phoenix knew, beyond any sense of doubt, that he had never liked Edgeworth. He had thought he'd known Edgeworth was asexual after all, and though he could be stupid sometimes when it came to love (as the whole Dahlia experience proved beyond any shadow of doubt), Phoenix wouldn't ever be quite so stupid as to just let<\/i> himself fall for someone who was asexual.<\/p>

…Oh.<\/p>

Suddenly, it hit Phoenix, just what Edgeworth must have noticed earlier. He'd said it flat out, hadn't he? I've always thought you were asexual, it would be stupid to like you. <\/i>Not 'I couldn't ever like you', or 'you'd never be anything more than a friend to me', but 'it would be stupid to like you'.<\/p>

Phoenix had chosen<\/i> not to like Edgeworth. He'd deliberately, if subconsciously, chosen not to fall for Edgeworth because he had thought it would be a stupid and hopeless thing to do. The thought had never crossed his mind – because he hadn't let<\/i> it. It should have. If Phoenix really had never felt anything romantic for Edgeworth, then he would have mused about him for a while, just as he had about Larry – it would only have been natural to do so. But he hadn't<\/i>. He had not even once<\/i> thought of Edgeworth in any romantic sense, because to do so would mean opening himself up to emotions that he had believed would only make him miserable.<\/p>

Phoenix marveled at his own brain for a moment. It had really pulled one over on him. If only he were capable of this level of deception in the courtroom, it would be quite useful in tricking contradictions out of witnesses.<\/p>

But now Edgeworth was ogling and implying things – well, no, by this point he was pretty blatantly coming on to Phoenix. But that didn't change the problem, not really. If Phoenix had cared deeply enough to lock his feelings away for nearly five years (and that was only counting since their reunion in court), then it stood to reason that he would not be able to get involved in something lighthearted. Not that Phoenix was the casual dating type in the first place… he might not have had many girlfriends, but his relationships were always serious.<\/p>

Granted, Edgeworth didn't exactly seem like a one-night stand kind of guy either… Still, with something of this magnitude, Phoenix found himself wanting to be very careful. He would rather not get involved with Edgeworth at all, if the alternative was a quick fling or casual relationship.<\/p>

It might be tough, but Phoenix was confident that he would be able to pull away relatively unscathed at this point. He had only realized (under duress) just what he was capable of feeling for Edgeworth – it wasn't as though he'd fallen instantly in love. And Phoenix knew that when he fell, he fell hard<\/i>. He'd barely managed to recover from the whole Dahlia fiasco – what everyone else had initially blamed on the poison-and-glass mix he had ingested, Phoenix had known to be nothing more or less than a broken heart. He might have been played like a fool, but he truly had loved her – or Iris, at least – and he'd been a mess when it had all gone south.<\/p>

Phoenix wasn't expecting Edgeworth to secretly be a murdering psycho, nor even to have an evil twin who was a murdering psycho, but there were still many ways a relationship could fail. Some more avoidable than others. Before Phoenix agreed to anything, he needed to know exactly<\/i> what Edgeworth was offering.<\/p>

So he decided to ask.<\/p>

Edgeworth, perhaps discerning Phoenix's epiphany, had remained quiet all this time. However, when Phoenix sighed and turned to look at him, the prosecutor adopted an expectant expression.<\/p>

"All right, Edgeworth," Phoenix admitted with another small sigh. He had only wanted to stop the leering looks aimed at his butt. Not realize the deep and potentially very painful feelings he had been suppressing for his friend all this time. Why couldn't he ever catch a break? "I… might be open to what you're offering."<\/p>

Strangely, though his face had been perfectly blank and not wrinkled in the least, Edgeworth's features seemed to smooth out at this admission. That was his only visible reaction, however; he seemed to be keeping himself under tight control. "Might?"<\/p>

"Yeah," Phoenix said, then took a deep breath. "Depending on what exactly you're offering."<\/p>

He didn't say anything more, but Edgeworth seemed to understand instantly nonetheless. For the first time since they had sat down, the prosecutor's cheeks tinged a light red, and he glanced down and to his right. His left hand even made an aborted movement towards his right arm, before Edgeworth clenched it around his glass.<\/p>

"Ah," he said. His voice was a little hoarse, and he immediately took a long drink of his Samurai Soda, then set it down a bit too hard, so that it clinked against the table. "Well…"<\/p>

All this seemed very promising to Phoenix, but he tried not to harbor any hopes. It was best not to get emotionally invested yet, he reminded himself. Wait for Edgeworth's answer, not just potentially misleading body language.<\/p>

Edgeworth closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and met Phoenix's gaze. "Much like what you –" he paused, then, with a self-deprecatory quirk to his lips, amended his sentence. "Much like what I believed<\/i> you to have said earlier in this conversation, I have… I've thought highly of you since childhood. It wasn't always the same<\/i> nature of admiration, but – but still, it has been for some time."<\/p>

Edgeworth looked perfectly composed. He was a man of great self-control after all. But even so, his cheeks were growing redder, and his jaw was clenching oddly between words, and he still hadn't let go of his glass. Little tells, but Phoenix always had been good at poker…<\/p>

"Wright," Edgeworth said. "I l-"<\/p>

"Here's your check~!"<\/p>

Edgeworth jerked, and his jaw clacked audibly shut. Phoenix jumped too; he hadn't noticed their waitress approaching at all. Whether that was because she had been particularly stealthy, or simply because all his attention had been focused on Edgeworth, he wasn't sure. Either way, it didn't change the fact that her timing was terrible<\/i>.<\/p>

She didn't seem to notice the glares both occupants of the table were shooting her way, merely setting the check down on the table (pointedly close to Edgeworth – Phoenix was willing to bet there was a phone number scribbled on there) and inquiring if she could take their plates.<\/p>

Phoenix nodded, and handed over his mostly-eaten burger. Maya would scold him endlessly if she found out he hadn't finished all of it, but some stories didn't need to be shared. Edgeworth was a bit too forceful in passing his own plate to the poor girl, and violently slapped a credit card on top of the check before pushing that at her too. She took it somewhat nervously, and scuttled away, casting pouty glances back over her shoulder in confusion.<\/p>

Edgeworth glared at her until she stopped doing so, then turned back to Phoenix. It wasn't funny – he knew that – but still, it was hard to suppress a chuckle.<\/p>

He was caught anyway. "Wright<\/i>," his companion snapped admonishingly, and Phoenix hastily straightened his expression.<\/p>

"Sorry, sorry. Go on." Phoenix raised his glass encouragingly, then took a swig. Ah, grape juice. Like wine, only not alcoholic, tastier, and much cheaper.<\/p>

"Y-you – " Edgeworth grit his teeth, then ground out the following words: "I would appreciate it if you would go out with me, Wright."<\/p>

It was probably the most underwhelming confession Phoenix had ever borne witness to.<\/p>

His breath still caught.<\/p>

Honestly, he wasn't very surprised at his own reaction at this point. He did feel a little bit like payback for the teasing he had undergone earlier, though, so Phoenix exerted great effort not to let anything show on his face. "Why?"<\/p>

Edgeworth's composure finally seemed to snap at that. He snarled, "Because I like you, why else?"<\/p>

Phoenix opened his mouth… but then shut it without replying. He stood, and leaned forward across the table, reaching past the ketchup bottle to grasp Edgeworth's shoulder. Pulling on it, he drew Edgeworth closer to him until they were both leaning awkwardly into the middle of the table. Edgeworth let himself be moved easily, breathing a bit too quickly – which made up nicely for Phoenix not breathing at all.<\/p>

It wasn't a very romantic setting, and too public by far, but neither of them really cared. Phoenix wet his lips, then touched them to Edgeworth's, very lightly.<\/p>

One or both of them shuddered. Maybe Edgeworth, because immediately after, he jerked a hand up to touch Phoenix's cheek. His fingers were disconcertingly smooth, and barely moving, slowly sliding across Phoenix's skin…<\/p>

There was a loud squeak right next to them, followed by an equally loud thump. Both men leapt back at the sound, to reveal their waitress collapsed on the floor next to their table, check and Edgeworth's credit card clutched to her heaving breast. She seemed to be torn between being highly aroused, and bursting into tears.<\/p>

Phoenix stared at her for a moment, before collapsing into his seat with his hands over his face. What the hell had he just done? In public! He felt a strong urge to climb under the table, or at the very least hide under his coat. Especially when he glanced up to find the entire diner <\/i>staring at their booth, most of them with light blushes on their faces. The cook looked to be drooling, and burning another meal in consequence.<\/p>

Edgeworth, however, was… smiling. Widely. Phoenix almost saw teeth for a moment. The prosecutor cleared his throat, straightened his cravat, then kneeled down to retrieve his credit card from the waitress and tuck it away in his wallet. He left several bills on the table, enough for a generous tip.<\/p>

Then he turned to Phoenix, and said, in a voice that rang all too loudly throughout the silent diner, "I assume that signified your agreement."<\/p>

Phoenix groaned into his hands. He'd never be able to come here again.<\/p>

"…Yeah," he muttered after a moment. "I'm pretty sure I like you too."<\/p>

It wasn't like he could make things any more humiliating at this point, right? He might as well just say it.<\/p>

Edgeworth nodded briskly at Phoenix's confession, a gesture that would have looked purely professional were it not for the affection in his eyes. "Shall we go, then? I have a trial in an hour."<\/p>

Phoenix scooted out of the booth. For some reason, this was all feeling very anticlimactic. Except for the speed at which his heart was still pounding. "Okay."<\/p>

They walked towards the door. Edgeworth gallantly opened it, as was his habit. Phoenix walked outside.<\/p>

He stopped. Smiled. "Quit staring at my ass, Edgeworth."<\/p>

Edgeworth moved up to join Phoenix as they began walking down the street, their shoulders brushing against each other. It was warm outside, and they were both smiling, and Edgeworth made sure to catch Phoenix's eye before he replied: "Never."<\/p>
<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/54600.html?view=comments#comments","category":["prompted","phoenix wright: ace attorney","phoenix\/edgeworth"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/54388.html","pubDate":"Mon, 06 Aug 2012 03:54:41 GMT","title":"Sport In Court","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/54388.html","description":"

Title:<\/b> Sport In Court
Summary: <\/b>Miles Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright face off in the courtroom once again to discover the truth behind a pair of murders... Told in Dr. Suess-style rhymes, a parody of Fox in Socks<\/i>.
Prompt: <\/b>Both Phoenix and Edgeworth, my favorite lawyers
               Well-dressed in court, with pants over boxers
               I don't really care about what's in the story
               I just want Seuss-ness and its rhyming glory!<\/p>

Notes:<\/b> A parody of Fox In Socks<\/i>, by Dr. Suess. Some of his lines were used. Regular text is Edgeworth, bold<\/b> is Phoenix. Story summary at the bottom if it's unclear.

---<\/div>
Sport In Court<\/strong><\/div>

Defense.
Sense.
Prosecution.
Solution.<\/p>

Defense lacks sense.
Prosecution provides solution.<\/p>

Witnesses with lies come.
Witnesses with ties come.
Witnesses with lies and ties and guise and cries come.<\/p>

Look, Wright. Look, Wright.
Let's talk to those cries and ties, Wright.
Let's see through those lies and guise, Wright.<\/p>

First, I'll uncover the truth, via sleuth.
Then I'll tell it to the court, in short.<\/p>

You can bumble and mumble.
You can press and guess.<\/p>

And here's the next step, Mr. Wright…
Defense lacking sense at the bench.
Defense objects without foresight.
Defense is dense and tense.<\/p>

Now we come to "Hold it!"s and "No wit!"s, Wright.
You know what's next, Wright…<\/p>

Defense is dense.
Prosecution makes sense.
Judge needs no nudge.
Very sensibly, he gives penalty.<\/p>

Please, Edgeworth. I don't like this rhetoric of yours.<\/strong>
I won't quit or throw a fit, Edgeworth.<\/strong>
I'll just make sure my client gets an acquit,<\/strong>
Then you'll lose it a bit, Edgeworth.<\/strong>
I will do it, Edgeworth.<\/strong><\/p>

Don't you worry, Edgeworth.<\/strong><\/p>

Here's another witness to question.
The prosecution will win, that's my impression.<\/p>

Blood.
Mud.
Who's blood?
Sue's blood.<\/p>

Who muddied Sue's blood?
Look at Joe's boots.<\/p>

You saw Joe mud Sue's blood, right?
You see Joe's boots have mud, Wright.<\/p>

It's not that simple, Edgeworth, wait.<\/strong><\/p>

What then? …
The hen.
Then Joe took the hen.<\/p>

Who owned the jewels?
Sue owned the jewels.
Joe stole whose jewels?
Sue's jewels.<\/p>

Sue's jewels were in the stuffed hen.<\/p>

Joe took them away, then.<\/p>

But Sue put things in more than one hen.
Joe took the wrong hen, then.<\/p>

Joe's hen.
It has tools.
The picture shows no jewels.
Here's the original, in accordance with the best evidence rule.<\/p>

Edgeworth!<\/strong>
I hate your superior mirth.<\/strong>
The truth is what I'll unearth.<\/strong><\/p>

Mr. Wright, what a shame.<\/p>

I'm afraid there's no way you'll win this one.
I find this rather fun, though it's all the same.
My goal. Your goal.
Truth. Truth.
Your goal. My goal.
Just the truth. Just the truth.<\/p>

Lawyers present the proof to uncover the truth!
That's what the prosecution is doing.
Do you choose to present some proof, Wright?
If you do, Wright, present away, Wright.
Show the court, Wright.
Present your proof.<\/p>

Edgeworth,<\/strong>
I wish I might.<\/strong>
But right now I lack the proof.<\/strong>
Though I <\/strong>do <\/strong><\/em>know the truth.<\/strong><\/p>

Very well, Wright.
Here's another witness.
You can question him after the recess.<\/p>

Joe came.
Moe came.
Moe saw Joe's hen.
Joe showed Moe his hen.<\/p>

Moe looked in Joe's hen.
He saw Sue's tools then.
Sue's tools.
Not her jewels.
Joe took the wrong hen.
Moe was mad then.<\/p>

Moe was mad. Joe had done bad.
Moe attacked. Joe fought back.<\/p>

Moe and Joe fought because of the tools.
Moe and Joe fought because they'd wanted the jewels.<\/p>

Big fight! In the night!<\/strong>
Moe died! What a fright!<\/strong>
But that's not the whole story, though.<\/strong>
There's more truth to find, I know.<\/strong><\/p>

Well then… bring the defendant this way.
We'll see now what he has to say.<\/p>

Joe is sad.
Joe feels bad.
Joe should be sad.
Joe did something terribly bad.<\/p>

Joe killed Sue for her hen.
He killed Moe too, then.<\/p>

I can't believe that of him!<\/strong>
He's actually a victim.<\/strong><\/p>

Mr. Wright. Now come now. Come now.
You don't have to be so dumb now…<\/p>

Try to see this, Mr. Wright, please…<\/p>

The problem is Joe is just slow.
Joe is so slow, he didn't know.
Slow Joe didn't know he committed murder.
But he did, and it was a two-fer.<\/p>

Hold it! Hold it!<\/strong>
That's enough!<\/strong>
I expect you to prove that silly stuff.<\/strong><\/p>

Very well, then, Mr. Wright.<\/p>

Let's have a little talk about the proof…<\/p>

What do we have as proof? Well…<\/p>

We have boots with mud,
And mud in Sue's blood.<\/p>

And the boots with mud are Joe's,
Ergo, the mud was left by his soles.<\/p>

AND we have the matter of the hen,
Let's discuss that next then.<\/p>

Moe sent Joe to take the hen,
And Slow Joe took it, because he's crooked.
Joe took the wrong hen, what happened then?<\/p>

Instead of jewels, inside Moe found tools!
No jewels in the hen, Moe got mad then.
Slow Joe fought back to save his life…
Only to commit a second murder that night.<\/p>

HOLD IT a minute, Mr. Edgeworth!<\/strong><\/p>

I know the true answer, which is that Slow Joe did not know!<\/strong>
Not about Moe's plot, nor Sue's hen! Joe was delirious in bed then!<\/strong>
When a defendant is sick in bed during the murder, that is what we call an alibi; no lie!<\/strong><\/p>

MOE wore the boots, and MOE committed murder!<\/strong>
And when he found tools instead of jewels, Moe hit his head in frustration – he hit his head so hard that he became dead!<\/strong><\/p>

Edgeworth, here is proof that what I say is true. The hospital records have finally come through.<\/strong>
This trial is done. You're right – it was fun!<\/strong><\/p>

---<\/div>So the case basically went like this: there was a rich girl named Sue, who for some reason hid her things in stuffed hens. Moe hatched a plot to steal her jewels, which she kept in a hen because she was rich and weird, but he ended up having to murder her in order to get the hen. He wore his roommate Joe's boots in order to frame him, and since it was rainy the boots left muddy footprints through Sue's blood. I know I didn't mention half of these things, but rhyming was hard enough as it was.

When Moe got home he took off Joe's boots, and opened the hen only to find that it contained Sue's tools instead of her jewels (crazy rich girl). He was so angry and frustrated that he face-palmed (or something of that nature). But since he was holding the tools in his hand, he, um, hit himself with them and then got a bad concussion and passed out and died. Or something of that nature.<\/p>

Anyway, Joe is kind of dumb and impressionable. Since he was really sick and delirious in the hospital, his memories of the night were fuzzy and he became convinced he had committed the murder. Phoenix believed he was innocent, but had no proof until after recess. He got a phone call from the hospital then, and spent the rest of the trial buying time while he was waiting for Joe's records to arrive just in time for his big turnabout. Edgeworth didn't already have the records because Gumshoe was on the case. Yes.<\/p>

...I included lots of rhymes, anyway.<\/p>
<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/54388.html?view=comments#comments","category":["prompted","phoenix wright: ace attorney","gen"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/54176.html","pubDate":"Mon, 06 Aug 2012 03:46:23 GMT","title":"Rock Bottom","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/54176.html","description":"Title:<\/b> Rock Bottom
Summary: <\/b>"Humans are strange creatures, aren't they? When you hit rock bottom, you can't stop laughing." ...And oh, how Izaya laughs.



"Humans are strange creatures, aren't they? When you hit rock bottom, you can't stop laughing."<\/p>

–Bluejam, One Piece <\/em>episode 501<\/p>

When Izaya was in elementary school, he was actually quite a solemn child. At that point in time he looked upon the world not as a source of amusement, but as a tiresome chore he was forced to deal with. Humans weren't lovable; they were nuisances. Nothing really mattered.<\/p>

Well, at some point, it got boring acting like that all the time. After all, Izaya needed some<\/em> way to spend his time, so he decided to start people-watching. And in result, as he entered middle school, Izaya experienced his first love. Not for any of the girls in his class, but for all of them – the boys too, and teachers. Everyone<\/em>. Izaya, just emerging from his shell of distaste, fell in love with humanity during the difficult process of puberty.<\/p>

He still disliked just about everything else though. And to say he was in love with humanity didn't mean that he was especially thrilled about any individual humans. But, again, it was too boring to be totally uninvolved, and during his people-watching he had fallen in love with humanity because of all the wonderful reactions humans made. So Izaya altered his personality, in order to provoke more reactions, in order to test the humans he loved so much.<\/p>

It wasn't actually such a difficult switch. So little of Izaya felt genuine anyway, it was no chore to amp up the pretense, to smile and act crazy and mess with people when he really felt sort of like spitting on their shoes. Izaya had no difficulty changing himself, and in fact actually began to enjoy his new actions quite swiftly. It was fun, screwing with people's heads.<\/p>

Eventually, it was all fun. The life he crafted for himself, the information he gathered, and most of all the reactions <\/em>he provoked. Izaya absolutely lived for that thrill. It was all that gave him satisfaction in life, so he made the most of it and twisted his own self further and further from normal, all in search of provoking the best reactions amongst the humans he so loved.<\/p>

And then he met Shizuo. Right from the start – it was like they were meant to be. Perfect enemies, foils, black and white, both so far from normal, so ridiculous and fearsome and like lightning whenever they fought, or a black hole or the birth of a star, or some other fantastic event –and oh the reactions<\/em> they created. Even aside from Shizuo himself (who was endlessly entertaining on an impossible number of levels), the reactions of the people around them who witnessed their fights practically made Izaya salivate. Whatever people might think or do when they saw only one of the duo, the effect of the two of them together promised at least double the fun, if not more.<\/p>

Izaya's actions throughout much of high school were a direct result of this. By the time he entered the adult world, he'd already made up his mind what he wanted to do, and it wasn't university. Izaya dove into the criminal underworld and it suited him like water does a fish; he quickly rose to the top as an informant, and honestly loved<\/em> the work. It exercised his mind and oftentimes his body, a definite plus, but more than that he was able to manipulate the humans around him with near-complete freedom. He could do most anything<\/em> to his chosen victims, and laugh at them all the while. Izaya was more in love than ever and truly believed himself happy, when he began to fall apart.<\/p>

Typically enough, Shizuo started Izaya's unraveling – though the brute didn't know it (and never would, if Izaya had any say) he'd already defeated his enemy long ago. Nothing special, just a blow that came a little too close, a death threat that sounded a little too real, and on the same day that Izaya happened to observe Shiki shooting a man dead. The shooting wasn't common for Izaya, but it wasn't the first time he'd seen one either, and never before had they bothered him like this one did. He knew that he was too clever to end up as one of those people on the wrong side of the yakuza's guns – but Shizuo was another matter, and fear began to creep up Izaya's spine.<\/p>

Fear, and something else.<\/p>

Suddenly, everything seemed bleak to Izaya. He was going to die, he realized suddenly, and whether it was by Shizuo's hand or of old age the end result would be the same – he'd be gone. He'd be dead, and whether that meant heaven or hell or something else altogether, no one knew, but there was the very real possibility that Izaya might completely cease to be.<\/p>

Everyone died. There was no way around it. So… what was the point, really? There were all those stupid sayings about 'live life without regrets' and 'live like it's your last day' but no one actually did that, too afraid of the possible repercussions or perhaps just too sensible. And in any case, Izaya didn't really have anything he could definitively point to as making his life 'worth living'. In the beginning, after all, he had hated everything, and that had never really changed. Life disgusted<\/em> Izaya, he remembered suddenly, including humans. Life was boring and annoying and really not worth it except that suicide was a stupid decision. Izaya didn't have anything that made his life worth living because he hated nearly everything about his life, but he was too scared to die because he didn't want to disappear.<\/p>

For years he'd pretended otherwise. He'd lashed out at other people and found amusement in their reactions – and then, desperate for something<\/em>, Izaya had focused on that weak emotion, had made it the center and defining point for his entire life, had destroyed any chance he ever had of being normal or truly happy. He really had twisted his personality too far, or maybe it had been too flawed from the very beginning, but the bottom line remained the same, and Izaya quite simply broke<\/em> on realizing this. Something essential within him snapped right in two.<\/p>

And he laughed.<\/p>

He laughed like a madman, cackling and kicking his feet until tears streamed from his eyes and he couldn't even breathe. Humans were so endlessly amusing, weren't they?<\/em> He laughed softly, voice breaking but unable to stop. The best thing about humans was their infinite capability for self-destruction<\/em>. He laughed into his hands, as though crying, and maybe in place of crying, shoulders shaking. He was a human too<\/em>.<\/p>

Izaya laughed.<\/p>

And when he was done, he surveyed his options quite calmly. The best part was, he couldn't change himself anymore. He'd come too far, and there was no way back. So he wouldn't ever reform, wouldn't change his lifestyle and find true happiness or love. He'd continue to cling to this deformed sort of love that was almost entirely hatred, and he would aim his laughter at the humans around him rather than laugh at himself. He would keep going as he had until now, but that wouldn't be enough<\/em> so he'd find something more. He'd find a plan. He'd find a way to change the laws of reality, if he couldn't change himself; he'd find a certain way to live after death. Izaya decided that he would do so, and then his screw-ups now wouldn't matter. Izaya decided that he'd make the world obey him, that if he was only a human then he would become a god to make up for that failing, that he'd never even acknowledge what festered within him.<\/p>

Not even a year later, Celty's head landed in his lap. It was almost like a promise, a reassurance, a sign from on high or from Izaya himself.<\/p>

But Izaya was only human, and a pathetic one at that, trapped at the bottom of the pit he'd dug for himself and somehow this opportunity only sunk the knowledge in further. There was nothing he could do about it now though, and besides he was willing to admit there was a delicious sense of irony about all this, so-<\/p>

Izaya laughed.<\/p>
<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/54176.html?view=comments#comments","category":["gen","durarara!!"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/53874.html","pubDate":"Mon, 06 Aug 2012 03:28:21 GMT","title":"Declaration, ch. 10","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/53874.html","description":"

Title:<\/b> Declaration<\/div>
Summary:<\/b> The Uchiha have always been known for their unfaltering perception. But Sasuke never completed his training with other Uchihas and anyway, with Naruto saying "I love you" left and right, he can surely be forgiven for misunderstanding... right?<\/div>
Chapter:<\/b> 10\/11 -Declaration<\/b><\/div>

Note: <\/b>There will be an epilogue following this chapter. So don't be surprised by the lack of resolution in this chapter, okay?
Chapter Nine:<\/b> Realization<\/a><\/div>
---
Chapter Ten: Declaration<\/b><\/div>
Sasuke was beginning to suspect that he might have a slight case of emotional retardation. Oh, nothing too<\/i> terrible, just… a total inability to understand his own emotions until the absolute worst possible time. After all, if he had realized his own feelings two weeks ago, then he would have been able to respond to Naruto's confession in kind, and then everything would be fine. Though, at the moment, Sasuke was actively trying to block out all thoughts of just what 'fine' might entail, because every time he pondered too long on the subject of what liking Naruto meant he wanted, he started to feel very hot and woozy and altogether humiliated.

…But in a kind of good way.

Anyway, now he was faced with a dilemma. He'd decided, about halfway through the night, to just acknowledge to himself his slowness in the emotional arena and move on to more important matters. Matters such as what the hell he could do now.

His options were kind of limited, after all. Naruto didn't love Sasuke anymore. Oh no, he'd seen to that (idiot, idiot, idiot,<\/i> Sasuke told himself, and then called Naruto an idiot too for good measure). In fact, Naruto had decided quite splendidly to move right on to the next available teammate.

By the way, Sasuke was really disappointed in Sakura. Wasn't she supposed to hate Naruto? Then he remembered that he'd convinced her to work hard as a ninja just last week and that she had probably decided being a good ninja included getting along with one's teammates, and then had stopped hating Naruto in favor of dating Naruto. Then he punched his pillow and ripped it in half, scattering feathers everywhere. Then he decided not to dwell on that little detail, either.

Sasuke moved on to thinking about training, getting off the Naruto subject altogether for a while. This lasted all of ten seconds before he punched what was left of his pillow a few times, clenched his teeth, and stomped out of bed, muttering various obscene words. Really, just – damn<\/i> Kakashi.

…He was running out of coherent thoughts.

Sasuke made himself stand very still. He took a deep breath, held it, and let it out. He closed his eyes. He strove for inner peace.

He swore, kicked the wall, and swore again as the pain in his toe flared up again.

Then Sasuke went to the kitchen to make himself some instant ramen, because he was getting hungry again and he clearly wasn't going to get any sleep tonight.
---<\/div>
Morning came, a perfect summer sun in a perfectly blue sky, and cheerful for just about everyone in the world except for Sasuke. He dreaded meeting up with Team Seven; the thought that when he arrived at the bridge he'd see Sakura and Naruto whispering together over some stupid<\/i> scroll made him feel almost violently ill.

But Sasuke left home at the same time he always had, because there was no way in hell he was going to advertise his emotional state to anyone. He walked swiftly, stomach fizzing in what was either nerves or indigestion from stale instant ramen, and arrived at the bridge exactly on time.

…Or he thought he had. Sasuke stared, all nerves blown right out of him in his utter shock at arriving to a team meeting last<\/i>.

He quickly looked up at the sun, trying to estimate the time from its position in the sky. It seemed<\/i> right, and he could've sworn all his clocks were accurate, but Naruto was known to pull stupid pranks like that and – no, wait, Naruto wasn't grinning. Naruto looked just as stunned as Sasuke felt, and Sakura's face was actually quite pale. Both of them were staring at Kakashi.

"What–" Sasuke stopped, unsure what to say next.

Naruto licked his lips and swallowed nervously. If Sasuke weren't so completely blown out of the water at the scene he found himself in, his new awareness of that sort of gesture may have made him very embarrassed.

"He was already waiting when we got here, too," Sakura eventually whispered, still looking like she'd seen a ghost. "I think he came… early<\/i>."

Somewhere amidst the very world imploding, Sasuke took a moment to want to stab his teammate for her use of the word 'we'. It wasn't like she'd stayed over at Naruto's place or anything – heck, Naruto wouldn't have known what to do with her if she had! Most likely they had just been meeting to do their scroll study again. Sasuke knew that, he wasn't an idiot.

Still, though. Stabbing didn't sound bad.

"Sasuke," Kakashi spoke up, sounding more amused than usual. "You're late. Shame on you. Punctuality is a very important quality in a ninja."

Naruto actually gurgled. Sasuke very nearly saw Sharingan red. Sakura still seemed in too much shock to leap to his defense, and just continued staring.

"I'm not late<\/i>," Sasuke finally grit out. "You're just – evil."

He wouldn't normally admit this, but he was under a lot of stress right now, and besides, it was true. Naruto was nodding fervently, and even Sakura seemed unable to argue otherwise.

Kakashi sounded as though he were pouting when he next spoke: "And here I just wanted to reward my hardworking students! I guess the Road of Life really is preferable to an alarm clock…"

Whatever reaction he may have hoped to provoke, it didn't come. Sasuke poured all his energy into his glare, Sakura was still just staring into space, and Naruto – well, Sasuke wasn't looking at Naruto so it wasn't like he knew what Naruto was doing. He had no reason to be looking at Naruto. He was glaring at Kakashi. Naruto was beside the point right now.

Naruto, Sasuke noticed, was also glaring at Kakashi.

Well… good.

"Anyway!" Kakashi said. "You've all been doing pretty well in your individual training, so I think we can call that quits for now and get to that out-of-town mission." He paused to allow cheers. Naruto was the only one to do so, and even he quickly stopped himself in favor of glaring even harder at his sensei. Kakashi coughed awkwardly. "…Right. But first, it's time you all give each other a little demonstration of what you've learned, yes? It's important for your teammates to know your skills, after all. Sakura, you're up first."

This time, Naruto's cheer was long and loud and heartfelt. Sakura finally snapped out of her daze to smile a small, eager smile. Both of them seemed very excited about this demonstration, and Sasuke's glare grew a little more hateful at the thought that he would be the only one to fail in producing something impressive.
---<\/div>
He slouched against a nearby tree, watching sullenly as Sakura walked out to the middle of the clearing in front of them. She took a few deep breaths, then reached up with both hands to tie her long hair back. After doing so, Sakura lowered her hands, and stood still with a look of deep concentration on her face. For a long time, nothing happened.

Then, Sakura began to float. She went higher and higher, until she was standing even with the tops of the trees, where she then proceeded to bow proudly.

"You can FLY?" Naruto shouted in shock. "What was in<\/i> those scrolls?!"

Sasuke, on the other hand, merely clicked his tongue in irritation, linked his hands together in a single seal, and said, "Kai!<\/i>"

The genjutsu broke; Sakura wasn't up in sky, but standing right between her teammates, grinning widely with her hands held loosely behind her back. Naruto jumped in surprise, and started to yell again, but Sasuke cut him off quickly.

"It was just an illusion, Naruto. And an obvious one at that; don't tell me you're really such a bad ninja as to be fooled by something like that<\/i>. She made the seals when she was tying up her hair."

Rather than wilting under Sasuke's less-than-glowing evaluation of her new skill, Sakura's grin grew even wider. "Actually," she said, "I never even left this spot. That was an illusion too."

That<\/i> caught Sasuke's attention. He'd detected the obvious pulse in Sakura's chakra levels when she'd been tying up her hair, and had instantly (and scornfully) realized it was a basic genjutsu at work. But if she had actually cast the genjutsu much earlier, then that meant she was far better at this than he had initially supposed. He hadn't even noticed her casting the jutsu, despite her standing right next to him, and then she'd been clever enough – and had enough chakra control – to willfully pulse her chakra at the right moment in her illusion to completely fool the more observant Sasuke as well as Naruto. That really was<\/i> impressive – she could have stabbed either one of her teammates before they could ever respond, thus transforming a fairly simple jutsu into an effective weapon. Sakura really did deserve praise.

But Sasuke didn't feel inclined to give her any, not when he had just been made a fool. Naruto was already laughing hysterically; it would compromise Sasuke's pride too much to actually go complimenting<\/i> Sakura now.

"Hn," he said instead, looking pointedly away. Naruto's laugh grew a little louder, and even Sakura giggled a little. Sasuke did not like the feeling of those two<\/i> laughing together at his expense. His already dark mood got a bit darker.

"Excellent job, Sakura," Kakashi interjected before the Naruto's mocking could get too out of hand. For a moment, Sasuke felt grateful. "This is, of course, only one of the many ways you can utilize your chakra control and natural intelligence in battle. These qualities could aid you in becoming a genjutsu specialist, or perhaps even a field medic – I'd encourage you to start thinking more about what you want to focus on in the future. But fooling Sasuke's good enough for now."

No, on second thought, there was no reason for Sasuke to ever be grateful for anything Kakashi ever did, because all of the man's actions turned out to be evil in the end. That<\/i> was the real meaning of his stupid "look underneath the underneath", Sasuke knew it.

"…Speaking of which, Sasuke, it's your turn to show off your new skills."

Sasuke trudged out to the center of the clearing very slowly, trying hard to think of some new skill he could demonstrate. None came to mind. Finally he decided that he'd just have to use an old jutsu, one he already knew but had never demonstrated before his team… only to think over his list of techniques, and come to the depressing conclusion that he'd revealed all his cards over the course of the Wave mission. Sasuke had absolutely nothing to show, Sakura had just made him look like a dunce, Naruto was watching, and it was all Kakashi's fault.<\/i>

But just as he opened his mouth to admit his utter lack of progress (a slight increase in speed just wasn't enough to match up to Sakura's genjutsu trick), his sensei wandered out to join him in the field.

"Now, Sasuke's new trick might be a little hard to demonstrate on his own, so I'll give him a hand," he announced. "Sasuke, go ahead and use your Sharingan. I want you to copy my hand-seals exactly, as fast as you can."

Then, without even giving Sasuke a single moment to prepare, Kakashi launched into a blindingly fast series of seals. Quickly, Sasuke activated his Sharingan and copied the movements as well as he could. Much to his surprise, he was able almost to keep up, and could even detect the shape of the chakra Kakashi was forming and pouring into the technique. Oh, <\/i>he realized, those seals were just a diversion. The real move is –<\/i>

Then the world blurred around him, and Sasuke focused all his attention on controlling his movements and coming to a sharp stop before he hit a tree. Instead he stumbled a bit, and caught himself with a hand on Naruto's shoulder. His teammate was staring at him in apparent awe.

"He taught you that teleportation jutsu all the jounin use? That is so cool.<\/i> Can you go anywhere in the world? Can you take me with you? Sasuke? Hey!"

Sasuke didn't answer, too surprised even to get annoyed at Naruto's misunderstanding of Shunshin – it wasn't a teleportation jutsu, it just gave the user incredible speed so that it looked as though they had disappeared. They'd gone over that in the Academy, but then again Naruto had probably been asleep during that lesson.

No, Sasuke was more focused on the fact that he had managed to complete the jutsu – or rather, he'd been able to accurately discern the flow of Kakashi's chakra instead of just watching his physical movements. Up until now, only one of his eyes had been capable of doing this, and that ability was iffy at best. Now, it had been almost automatic, and as a result he'd been able to master a new technique without any forewarning whatsoever.

Kakashi was chuckling. "You may have thought this week's training was useless, but speed and battle stress are both essential to the development of any Sharingan user. You've managed to gain another tomoe now; isn't that great? And although Shunshin is a D-ranked jutsu, we still don't usually teach it to genin as they're not typically capable of controlling their movements at such a high speed. It's very impressive that you didn't launch yourself halfway through a tree – well done, Sasuke."

The praise went a little way towards appeasing Sasuke's temper of the morning, and Naruto's open admiration went a little further (Sakura was equally admiring, and had in fact been praising Sasuke too this whole time, he'd just chosen to ignore her). Of course, Kakashi could have just told him all of this at the beginning of the week and spared Sasuke all that stress and frustration, but... better late than never. After a moment, he smirked a little, his bruised pride slightly recovered.

And so, it was Naruto's turn. He sauntered out into the middle of the field with a skip in his step, clearly eager to show off his new abilities. Once he was a good distance away from his teammates, he formed a very familiar seal and shouted some very familiar words: "Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Honestly, was Naruto even capable of going a single day without making clones?

Sasuke sighed, but continued to watch expectantly, using his new Sharingan to the fullest as he analyzed Naruto's chakra flow. Naruto grinned widely, then said, "Okay, flying and teleporting might be awesome, but you guys've got nothing on me! Check this<\/i> out! Bunshin Daibakuha!"

The single clone Naruto had created exploded. It was mostly a vertical blast, but there was still a fair bit of damage all around it – and anyway, Naruto had been standing idiotically close to the clone when he activated his jutsu. He was directly within the circle of destruction.

Or, he would<\/i> have been, if Sasuke hadn't detected the unstable change in the clone's chakra flow just in time and used his own new technique to dash across the field, catching Naruto on the way. He doubted Naruto's reflexes were fast enough to perform Kawarimi. Or he would have if he had been thinking. Mostly he just acted, and moments later came to a painful halt on the other side of the field, having lost his balance with the combination of great speed and Naruto's added weight. The pair tumbled to the ground as the explosion shot up behind them, and Sasuke really should feel angry at Naruto's idiocy, or at least worried about it, but he just couldn't bring himself to care. Not when Naruto had landed directly on top of him, and his wide blue eyes were staring down at Sasuke, and his body was very warm, and his face was very close<\/i>, and Sasuke couldn't breathe.

With a single, quick movement, Sasuke shoved Naruto off of him and stood up, turning away to hide his blush. "Idiot! If you're going to make an explosion, then make sure you're out of the blast zone!"

He began stomping back across the clearing, stepping carefully around the smoldering wreckage Naruto's new jutsu had left behind. He did not wait for Naruto. He did not look at Naruto.

Thus, he was unprepared for Naruto latching on to his arm. "Aw, you really do<\/i> care," the idiot laughed. "Thanks, Sasuke, I wasn't thinking. I mean, I would've been fine, but –"

"You don't know that!" Sasuke snapped, yanking free.

Naruto chuckled sheepishly, following Sasuke back towards their teammate and sensei. "Um… No, I kinda do. I sort of exploded some on myself already, earlier in the week. It's a really hard technique to control, that's why I needed Sakura to help me, and I still can't do more than one clone at a time when I'm using it – but still, isn't it totally awesome?"

Sasuke really did consider yelling at Naruto about his idiotic self-endangering tendencies, but at this point Sakura had probably done more than enough of that. So he shoved that impulse down, and smirked instead. "Totally awesome? Please. If you really can get caught in that explosion and come out of it fine, then it's basically useless. It took you all week<\/i> just to master a jutsu that doesn't do any good? You really are the dead last, aren't you."

This had the desired effect of starting Naruto off on a furious and mostly illogical tirade that finally ended in him proclaiming, "You're just jealous<\/i>, Sasuke!"

And okay, yes, that particular choice of words had Sasuke tensing up for a minute, but Naruto clearly didn't mean it that way. He was totally oblivious to how Sasuke felt – and what's more, Sasuke realized with an odd sinking feeling in his gut, Naruto would remain oblivious forever. The imbecile wasn't ever going to notice Sasuke's feelings for him, and Sasuke couldn't really blame him – he had just noticed himself, after all.

But he wanted<\/i> Naruto to notice. He wanted Naruto to already know, to at the very least be aware of how Sasuke felt, so that he'd understand the ramifications of saying stupid things like that. Even if it was selfish to reveal now; maybe even especially because it was selfish. Sasuke was a selfish person. He always had been. And he wanted Naruto to know how he felt. Even if it was too late, even if he was happy with Sakura now, Sasuke wanted Naruto to know<\/i>, damn it.

But the only way to ensure that was to tell him.
---<\/div>
To say Sasuke wasn't well acquainted with the art of confessing love was something of an understatement. Oh, he had tons of experience receiving<\/i> such confessions, and as such knew quite well how they usually went.

But if he dragged Naruto to stand under a sakura tree in full bloom, it would only remind him of Sakura. Most other 'romantic' places would do the same, unless they made Naruto hungry or bored – both very likely possibilities, and not the sort of mood Sasuke was going for.

If he cooked him a bento with a love confession written inside, not only would Naruto eat so fast he wouldn't notice the words, but he'd complain that it wasn't ramen. And Sasuke's cooking wasn't so great, so he'd probably also accuse Sasuke of trying to poison him.

Sasuke refused to even consider giving a Valentine. For one, that was practically a year away. And also that would make him the girl, plus<\/i> it would automatically give Naruto a month before he had to reply. Not to mention Naruto didn't seem to know what Valentine's Day even was.

Also off-limits were any love letters, stalking, fawning over, and general fangirl nonsense. Of course, Sasuke could always just go the 'Naruto route', and break into Naruto's home at two in the morning to whisper his feelings, but Naruto would think it was either a dream or an ambush.

There was, of course, the basic fallback, which was just to get Naruto to accompany him somewhere private and not located near any sakura trees in full or even partial bloom, and just flat-out tell him: "I love you." But there were complications even with that; Sasuke would have to explain why he'd already claimed not<\/i> to love Naruto, and then he'd have to listen to Naruto reject him in favor of Sakura, and there just wasn't going to be time for a private conversation of that length during their upcoming mission. Said mission, to escort a merchant from his home village in the outer reaches of Fire Country to Konoha so he could sell his merchandise, was going to last several weeks. And even if there probably wasn't going to be any A-ranked missing-nin attacking them this time around, Team Seven were still going to have their hands full guarding the merchant's goods from bandits. Not that bandits were really a challenge, but they should be fairly time-consuming at least, and on a guard mission getting any alone time would be rather difficult.

Sasuke supposed he could just wait until the mission was over. But, in much the same way that he was selfishly determined that Naruto know how he felt, he also wanted Naruto to know now<\/i>. Or at least as soon as possible, so he was determined to confess some time during the mission. Plus, if he confessed far from home, Naruto would be less likely to inadvertently go spreading the news of Sasuke's feelings around to all the ninja in town. That was a humiliating prospect, and highly probable to boot.

Really, Sasuke was starting to wonder if it would be best just to tie Naruto up, gag him, and then<\/i> confess. That way he could avoid the conversation part entirely, and the whole problem would be solved. …He had a nagging feeling, though, that that probably wasn't the best way to convey his feelings.

Kakashi had only given them two hours to go home and pack what they needed, and most of that had already elapsed while Sasuke packed and panicked. Seeing as Kakashi might actually be on time<\/i> again today, he didn't have time to go ask Iruka for more advice. He almost desperately wanted to, but there was no way in hell he was going to be later than Kakashi twice in one day. No, Sasuke was going to have to do this himself.
---<\/div>
…And he was going to have to do this fast<\/i>.

He was running out of time. Since their client was waiting at his village, Team Seven had been able to travel at full ninja speed (well, for Sakura, anyway – everyone else could have gone faster, but she wouldn't have been able to keep up) on the way there. It had taken them only three days to travel eighty percent of the journey.

The first day, Sasuke had been frantic, recalling every single confession he had ever ignored in an attempt to figure out which would work for Naruto. In the end, he'd only confirmed his initial thoughts that none would be suitable. That, and wasted a day.

The second day, Sasuke spent alternating between wishing Iruka was around to ask for advice, and wishing Konohamaru was around to drop-kick his frustrations out on. He also dedicated some time to staring furtively at Naruto, realizing how attractive his friend was (in a stupid sort of way), and then getting embarrassed for thinking so – not to mention paranoid that Kakashi or Sakura had figured everything out from his furtive staring. Naruto stripping down to his boxers so that he could cannonball some fish out of a river for dinner probably did not help matters.

The third day, Sasuke had been all sorts of useless, because Sakura finally got worn out from their grueling (for her) pace, and Naruto volunteered to carry her until she felt better. Sure, she didn't actually let<\/i> him, but he still spent the whole day hovering worriedly near her and making Sasuke want to practice his fire jutsu in their direction.

Now, it was the night of that third day – the last night. Tomorrow they would arrive at their destination, where they would be busied with civilians and pottery in desperate need of guarding. There wouldn't be another chance for the next several weeks as they traveled back to Konoha at civilian speed. Sasuke couldn't wait for weeks. He was itching constantly with the (fairly ironic) unpleasantness of unspoken emotions, and wanted nothing more than to throw them at Naruto for him<\/i> to deal with. Once the pressure was on Naruto<\/i> to respond, for once, Sasuke thought he'd be able to finally relax a little.

The only problem was, Kakashi was sleeping in the same tent as the boys and he'd refused to take watch at any point so far, claiming jounin rest took higher priority than genin rest, especially if another Zabuza happened along and he was too exhausted to take care of him this time.

("What would you do then?<\/i>" he'd asked the first night, with what sounded like a yawn behind his mask as he unrolled his bedroll.

"We'd beat him on our own, just like we did when you got caught last time!" Naruto snarled in return. Kakashi, unimpressed, put him in charge of cleaning up after dinner and erasing all signs of their having camped there the next morning, then stayed up half the night reading his porn.)

But for once, Sakura and Kakashi both seemed to be on Sasuke's side – she was allowed to sleep through the night to catch up on her rest, with Kakashi taking over her shift. This left Sasuke and Naruto with a three-hour window alone in their tent, from two to five AM. Not ideal timing, to be sure, nor the ideal location, but at this point it was the only option Sasuke had left. He'd just have to go for it.
---<\/div>
So here he was.

Two in the morning, hovering over Naruto as he slept, preparing to whisper, "I love you" and then probably get punched in the nose (Naruto didn't know any fire jutsu). Sasuke really hadn't wanted to go this route, but he was out of options now so it looked like he'd just have to copy his teammate and hope it wasn't taken as a mocking gesture.

At least there wasn't much to it. No cooking, chocolate-making, or letter-writing involved. He hadn't even had to scout out the location – that, along with the crucial timing factor, had been taken completely out of his hands. All Sasuke had to do was say three simple words. Three very small, simple words.

Three very terrifying words, which he'd only said to three people ever<\/i> in his life, over five years ago.

…Shit, he couldn't do it.

It was impossible. What the hell had he been thinking, anyway? Why did he even care? Sasuke curled up in his bedroll, facing away from Naruto, and closed his eyes very tightly. There wasn't any point<\/i> in confessing. It wasn't like it was going to change anything, or accomplish anything except his own humiliation. Naruto was dating Sakura. Sakura<\/i>. He'd been very vocally crushing on Sakura since he was seven! Sure, he'd liked Sasuke, but that was pretty well ruined by now.

And besides, was Sasuke even ready to call this love? He'd realized he was jealous, yeah. And his stupid imagination had returned with a vengeance to supply him with idiotic daydreams aplenty, but that didn't exactly mean this was anything serious. Just because Naruto was the person Sasuke cared about most in the world, that didn't mean this infatuation was going to last or anything. Why should he waste his words of love on something like that? There was no reason. None at all.

Sasuke had just about decided that he didn't like Naruto very much at all and would be mostly over him by morning, even, when Naruto snored loudly, kicked him in the butt, and mumbled, "Miso's the best…"

And the wave of stupid<\/i> affection that washed over Sasuke at that was impossible to deny. He had to admit it. His feelings were real, no matter how recently he'd realized them. He knew they were; he was just too scared to make himself so vulnerable again.

Sasuke had been hurt by someone he loved in the past. He'd even done it to Naruto recently himself. He knew<\/i> how much worse such a hurt was than any physical pain, and he didn't want to experience that again. He didn't want to lose what little he had now, which was almost solely Naruto's friendship. Sure, he had Kakashi and Sakura too, and even the rest of the Rookie Nine, but they meant so much less than Naruto did. Sasuke knew all of Naruto's secrets, and even if Naruto didn't know all of his, he thought he'd probably be able to share them, and trust Naruto to keep them secret as well. There were plenty of challenges to their relationship – recently, more than most – but they'd always made it through, and even become closer because of them. Hell, Sasuke had valued Naruto enough to die for him in Wave, and they'd hardly even known each other then, at least compared to now.

…Maybe they would make it through this, too. If not, Sasuke only had himself to blame. And he had no excuse not to try – Naruto had, after all. They were rivals; Sasuke couldn't lose over something as stupid as three one-syllable words.

He rolled over determinedly. He had to do it now. His last-minute cowardice had wasted nearly all his time; the sun would be rising soon. There would be no more backing out. It was time for action.

So Sasuke acted, copying Naruto at the start of it all, bringing the whole debacle full circle. He crouched over his teammate and poked him in the cheek until Naruto woke with a bleary, "StoppitSasukeeee."

Sasuke waited until Naruto had finished yawning. Then he leaned forward until their eyes met. What the hell,<\/i> he thought, and copied even the grin Naruto had worn so long ago. It felt awkward, but so did everything else, and at least it got Naruto's attention. "Listen up, dumbass," he said, stomach flipping uncontrollably and palms sweating and face too hot by far – "I love you."

Then he kissed Naruto, because he felt like it and because there was no way he was just going to copy the idiot without beating him at his own game, at the very least.
<\/a>
","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/53874.html?view=comments#comments","category":["naruto\/sasuke","naruto"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/53577.html","pubDate":"Mon, 23 Apr 2012 03:13:34 GMT","title":"Declaration, ch. 9","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/53577.html","description":"
Title:<\/b> Declaration<\/div>
Summary:<\/b> The Uchiha have always been known for their unfaltering perception. But Sasuke never completed his training with other Uchihas and anyway, with Naruto saying "I love you" left and right, he can surely be forgiven for misunderstanding... right?<\/div>
Chapter:<\/b> 9\/10 -Realization<\/b><\/div>


Chapter Eight: <\/b>Abnegation<\/a><\/div>
---<\/div>
Chapter Nine: Realization<\/b><\/div>

Sasuke found himself justifying his feelings wildly to himself, much in the same way he had after Naruto had hugged him. It wasn't anything wrong<\/i>, or weird<\/i>, he told himself. He'd just gotten used to Naruto's confessions; that was all. They had been going on for some time, after all. It wasn't like Sasuke was counting on them, or anything. He didn't look forward<\/i> to hearing Naruto say he loved Sasuke practically every day. It was just… expected, now, and so of course it threw him to not hear any confessions.<\/div>

But really, Sasuke had specifically asked Naruto to stop telling him such things. It would be really hypocritical of him to turn around and be upset at not hearing them anymore – not that he was<\/i> upset, he just found it a little disconcerting! Obviously he wouldn't like the sensation of waiting for something and never receiving it, no matter what the something in question was. If he ordered a meal at a restaurant and it never came, Sasuke would have been irritated too, regardless of whether he actually was hungry or not. Just to reiterate: it wasn't like Sasuke actually wanted<\/i> to hear Naruto say those three words again.<\/p>

…Except he really, truly did.<\/p>

Sasuke typically was a master of ignoring issues he didn't want to deal with, but that skill somehow didn't extend far enough for him to successfully fool himself this time. Much as he wanted to deny it, he had<\/i> enjoyed Naruto's confessions when they had been coming, and he really did miss them now that they were gone. The truth was, even given the way Sasuke had worked himself up into a panic about how to react to the confessions, it had felt good<\/i> to know that he was loved so much. He'd been kind of flattered, even. And now – well, he'd just gotten spoiled. Normal people didn't receive love confessions on such a frequent basis, regardless of what sort of relationships they might have. Even if no one was telling him constantly, that didn't mean no one loved Sasuke anymore.<\/p>

…Even if Naruto wasn't telling him, that didn't mean he'd stopped loving Sasuke.<\/p>

Oddly enough, it was this small, simple thought that eventually ended up calming Sasuke enough to finally fall asleep, heart still thumping a little too hard from his inner panic.<\/p>

Naruto still loved him. Of course he did. Naruto was too stubborn to stop loving him over such a little thing; he definitely still loved Sasuke whether he was saying so or not.<\/p>

Naruto loved him.<\/p>

---<\/p>

…Did Naruto love him?<\/p>

Sasuke felt like an idiot – a sensation he was experiencing altogether too much these days. When he had gone to sleep, it had all seemed so simple: Naruto loved him, of course he did.<\/p>

But as soon as he woke up, Sasuke's analytical brain started poking holes through that comforting certainty. No matter how<\/i> stubborn Naruto was, there was virtually no chance he could love Sasuke anymore, not after the way Sasuke had been treating him.<\/p>

Sasuke went about his morning routine in a daze, mentally reviewing his behaviour since the first confession, trying to look at it from Naruto's point of view. He didn't know when or why Naruto had developed such feelings in the first place, but… Wave might have had something to do with why he'd worked up the courage to confess them in the first place. Sasuke had to admit that if the person he had a crush on had suddenly died (or seemed to die) to save him, he would feel a bit more confident about letting them know his feelings.<\/p>

So, Naruto had confessed. And… well, even if he had<\/i> been a little more sure of himself, he did still know Sasuke very well, and it was clear that he still would have been nervous about his reception based on that factor alone, let alone the fears he must have had about his status as the Kyuubi's jailer. Given Naruto's personality… and given the way Sasuke had<\/i> reacted (a fireball, a punch, steadfastly ignoring each new confession for the longest time) maybe Naruto had been right to go the road he had in treating his confessions like a prank. It had to make Sasuke's nonverbal rejections easier to accept – they weren't serious<\/i> after all, because the whole thing was just a prank anyway, nothing to get upset over.<\/p>

And in fact Naruto had shown no sign of intending to deviate from his joking, pranking style of confessions. He hadn't been asking Sasuke for anything. Even if he hadn't been giving up<\/i>, it wasn't like he was trying terribly hard, either. That attitude was quintessentially Naruto – making a joke out of anything that mattered too much.<\/p>

If Sasuke hadn't lashed out at Naruto and then discovered his secret, things on Naruto's end probably wouldn't ever have changed. He would have kept up the act of asking Sakura out, would have kept confessing to Sasuke, would have kept smiling and playing the fool and not acknowledging his own feelings as truly important. The thought made Sasuke's stomach clench up.<\/p>

But then, Sasuke had<\/i> learned about the Kyuubi. That must have been a scary time for Naruto – his best friend, his crush<\/i> had discovered his secret, and by all signs had reacted exactly the way Naruto most feared people reacting. Sasuke's visit to Naruto's flat, and his casual acceptance of the matter must have been …simply unbelievable. No wonder<\/i> Naruto had hugged him.<\/p>

And no wonder Naruto had, after that, gained enough confidence to face his feelings head on. He'd told Sasuke how he felt – honestly, without pretense. And (although Sasuke hadn't interpreted the scene this way at the time) without even asking anything in return. Naruto had probably known by then that Sasuke didn't feel the same way about him. But he'd wanted to honestly convey his own feelings regardless, and so he'd trusted Sasuke with his feelings, as well as with his secret.<\/p>

Those two things might very well be what Naruto held dearest in all the world – and what had Sasuke done with them? He'd distanced himself from Naruto for days… and then he had delivered a needlessly harsh rejection, and had even (for a moment) led Naruto to believe he had leaked the secret of the Kyuubi too.<\/p>

And yet, despite all of that<\/i>, Naruto hadn't stopped being Sasuke's friend. Sasuke<\/i> would have. If someone he trusted and loved had stepped all over his emotions in such a way, he would have broken the relationship then and there. He would have hated<\/i> them, not sparred with them the very next day.<\/p>

Naruto had been forgiving of him, almost impossibly so, and Sasuke's insides shriveled up horribly at this realization. Could he really expect such forgiveness to extend to the point that Naruto still loved<\/i> him despite everything?<\/p>

There was no way, Sasuke concluded regretfully. Not even Naruto could possibly value a bond that unconditionally.<\/p>

Naruto didn't love him anymore.<\/p>

---<\/p>

Sasuke didn't make a big deal out of it. Of course he didn't. It would be beyond unreasonable to do so. Just because Naruto didn't love him anymore, that didn't mean anything had to change. It was clear from the way he was behaving that Naruto, while perhaps no longer romantically interested in Sasuke, did still value their friendship. That was fine by Sasuke. That was the way it should be.<\/p>

And, okay, fine. He admitted it (to himself and no one else). In some weird, demented way, Sasuke had actually sometimes sort of enjoyed being loved by Naruto, and missed it a little, even now. But<\/i> that was only because Sasuke had a very screwed-up history when it came to love, and had become accustomed to receiving Naruto's. And, just like Naruto, Sasuke really did value their friendship. He wasn't going to compromise it now, not when the current situation was basically all his fault anyway. No, Sasuke was going to value Naruto as a friend<\/i>, and Naruto was going to be his friend<\/i> right back, and there would be nothing else to it. And that wouldn't bother Sasuke at all, because he couldn't let<\/i> it bother him – to do so would be absolutely despicable of him, and cruel to Naruto all over again.<\/p>

Basically, Sasuke was sick of feeling guilty and sentimental, and vowed to himself that he would just selectively forget anything and everything relating to Naruto ever loving him. He was pretty good at ignoring things he didn't like; this wouldn't be hard at all, easy even.<\/p>

And – aside from the constant twisting ache in his gut whenever Naruto got too close, or too far, or too quiet, or smiled too widely, or looked too serious, or took off his shirt, or didn't say 'I love you' – it was. Sasuke eased off on the over-friendliness born of his guilt, and things began to settle back to normal. It was just like before, really, except for Sasuke and Naruto being a little more openly friendly. Even the discomfort Sasuke felt around Naruto was fading, bit by bit. Life was… if not good quite yet, then certainly getting there.<\/p>

So of course Kakashi had to ruin it all.<\/p>

---<\/p>

For once, it didn't seem to be on purpose. In fact, this time Kakashi's actions were actually those of a responsible sensei, for probably the first time since he'd allowed Team Seven to pass the bell test. Not that this meant Sasuke forgave him. No, he was even angrier at Kakashi for that very reason – if only Kakashi had been acting like a responsible sensei all along, they wouldn't even be<\/i> in this mess. But no, of course Kakashi had to put off teaching his students anything useful until doing so would wreak absolute havoc on Sasuke's personal life. That was just typical<\/i> of him.<\/p>

It all started with Kakashi's proclamation, one sunny afternoon (moments after the man arrived, though he'd instructed his students to meet him at nine in the morning), that it was time he start doing more individual, focused training with them.<\/p>

Naruto, halfway through his usual greeting shout, switched tacks instantly: "That's a li- really?<\/i> What do I get to learn? Is it a super-cool A-class jutsu? I want to know how to –"<\/p>

Sasuke tuned the babble out at that point, suddenly recalling just how annoying Naruto was capable of being. He'd improved a bit from the Academy, but his voice was still rather grating when he got excited like that…<\/p>

Sakura, too, seemed to lack the patience to deal with Naruto's excited ranting, as she promptly hit him over the head. She was excited too, though, and had a bit of a sparkle in her eyes when she turned to Kakashi. "What do you mean by that, sensei?"<\/p>

Kakashi's eye curved up in a smile. "Until now, we've been working mostly on improving your weaknesses – taijutsu, teamwork, chakra control (though that last doesn't apply to you, Sakura!). Now it's about time to start playing to your strengths a bit. If you guys do well on this, we can start taking more out-of-village missions again."<\/p>

Even Sasuke perked up a bit at that one. After the disaster in Wave, despite the mission technically being a success, Kakashi hadn't taken any missions outside of Konoha limits, and Team Seven was getting a little stir-crazy.<\/p>

Kakashi actually giggled at the look on his student's faces… though he'd just opened his book, so maybe it wasn't because of that at all. Still, he continued on: "Sasuke, it's time for me to start teaching you more about your Sharingan. Sakura, your chakra control is excellent – we'll start putting that to use in battles. Naruto…"<\/p>

Kakashi trailed off, staring thoughtfully at his final student, who was bouncing up and down excitedly.<\/p>

"What? What do I get to learn?" Naruto asked eagerly.<\/p>

"Naruto… your chakra reserves are enormous. Given that, I'm going to teach you some useful jutsu that require more chakra than most. Enemies won't be expecting something like that from a genin either, which will work to your advantage."<\/p>

Naruto leapt straight up in the air. "YES! Jutsu! Finally!"<\/p>

"Yes, finally!" Kakashi agreed, before tossing a scroll each to Naruto and Sakura. "So, you two study those until you can perform those techniques properly, then come back here. If you don't get it today, we'll meet as usual tomorrow and you can ask me any questions then… we'll continue doing that until you manage the jutsu, even if it's not tomorrow. Sasuke and I will be in Training Grounds 10. Sasuke, get moving."<\/p>

Their sensei paid no attention to the increasingly dejected looks on both Naruto and Sakura's faces, and merely lifted two fingers in a casual salute before disappearing in a swirl of leaves.<\/p>

In the pause that followed, Sakura sighed. "I guess it makes sense," she said. "Sasuke's not going to learn how to use his Sharingan from a scroll, and we can."<\/p>

"But - but – that's not fair!" Naruto moaned. "Sasuke, you bastard, why do you get all the special treatment?"<\/p>

Well, at the time Sasuke had actually been pleased to be the only one training directly with Kakashi, so he'd just dashed off to Training Grounds 10 without deigning to answer Naruto. However, several days later, he was beginning to regret being so secretly happy, for a few reasons.<\/p>

Firstly, Kakashi was a slave driver. When training all of Team Seven he'd always been rather laconic and lazy… and he still was, just in a very demanding, mean way. He told Sasuke the bare minimum of a hint about how to use his Sharingan more effectively, and then spent two hours casually attacking Sasuke while giggling into his porn and occasionally complaining about Sasuke's lack of progress. Of course, Sasuke was trying his hardest just to fend off his sensei's attacks, which always became extremely vicious the moment he attempted to activate his Sharingan, and so the lazy taunting was extremely<\/i> aggravating. But there was nothing he could do about it, given their relative skill levels, though that didn't mean he wasn't going to try his hardest.<\/p>

Secondly, the training was boring. Sasuke realized he shouldn't really be complaining about valuable one-on-one training in such a way, but really, he didn't see what was too terribly different than before, except that Naruto and Sakura weren't around. He didn't feel like much progress was being made. All he was doing was defending himself from Kakashi, while practicing making seals as quickly as possible, and unsuccessfully attempting to utilize his Sharingan. He hadn't learned any special jutsu, or even any particularly amazing taijutsu techniques. In contrast, Naruto and Sakura were making regular progress.<\/p>

Yes, the third reason had to do with Naruto and Sakura. From the very beginning, Sakura had been making steady progress through the scrolls Kakashi tossed to her every morning, which Sasuke gathered were teaching her some method to weaponize her finely-tuned chakra control. He didn't know how exactly she was doing so, but apparently she was doing it very well. Even though this spoke well for her future career as a ninja, it irked Sasuke to have Sakura surpassing him in any regard.<\/p>

But at least he was able to take some comfort in the fact that Naruto wasn't making any headway whatsoever on his scroll. He complained about how confusing it was every morning, though as soon as Sasuke had offered to help him figure out the instructions, Naruto had clutched the scroll to his chest and refused, claiming there was 'no way he'd help<\/i> Sasuke steal his precious jutsu!' Since Sasuke had actually planned on attempting the jutsu himself if possible, there wasn't much he could say to this, but it was still annoying.<\/p>

What was even more<\/i> annoying, though, was when Naruto asked Sakura to help him learn his jutsu. For some reason, she didn't refuse, and ever since then, every morning Sasuke would arrive to find his teammates crouched over the difficult scroll in question, discussing it in low voices – only to quickly roll it up as soon as Sasuke arrived. In his quest to master the jutsu (whatever it was) Naruto had actually taken to arriving even earlier than Sasuke.<\/p>

It kind of made Sasuke want to arrive even earlier himself, just to spite them, but he resisted the urge. Somehow, doing that would feel too much like giving in. And besides, if Naruto was irritating him, all Sasuke had to do was wait for their regular extra training session together, and beat his friend up until he felt better.<\/p>

---<\/p>

…He didn't feel better, though. The whole time they were training, Naruto kept demanding that Sasuke show off his new skills. Of course, not really having any new skills to speak of, Sasuke declined. He didn't admit his real reasons, obviously, just said, "I don't need any new techniques to beat you," which got Naruto all fired up anyway.<\/p>

But Sasuke (despite winning the spar) still felt irritated. Every day, he made no progress, and Kakashi was infuriating, and he didn't get a single respite because Naruto and Sakura were off training together somewhere, looking all cozy together even though Sakura was supposed to hate Naruto, and having so much fun<\/i> learning their fancy new jutsu from their top-secret scrolls, and –<\/p>

Sasuke started off his next set of attacks with a large fireball in Naruto's direction, but the angry heat within him didn't subside.<\/p>

---<\/p>

It all came to a head the day Sasuke ran into Konohamaru on the street.<\/p>

Well, actually he didn't run into the little brat. It was more the other way around, except Sasuke dodged and Konohamaru ended up slamming face-first into a stone wall. Sasuke rather enjoyed that sight, actually, but of course the little imbecile started wailing then and drew the attention of just about everyone on the street.<\/p>

Including Naruto and Sakura, just turning around the corner.<\/p>

For a moment, Sasuke's vision went white-hot with rage. He couldn't comprehend what they were doing together. Training was over for the day – it was nearly dinnertime. Didn't Sakura have to be getting home? What reason did she have to hang out with Naruto when they weren't training? She was supposed to hate Naruto. She was supposed to like Sasuke<\/i>, not Naruto. And as for Naruto – he was also supposed to…<\/p>

Well, no. Naruto didn't like Sasuke anymore. But why was he hanging around Sakura so much? Did he like her again? Why would he? Okay, so she was far less annoying now, and she had been helping Naruto a lot with that stupid scroll, but why the hell would Naruto start liking <\/i>her again? And why hadn't Sasuke known about it?<\/p>

All these questions sped through Sasuke's mind in a furious loop as he watched his teammates approach. Konohamaru's wailing cut off as soon as he noticed Naruto (it had been nine-tenths melodrama in an effort to gain pity), to be replaced by a wide grin, and a cheerful, "Hiya, boss!"<\/p>

Naruto waved back. "Yo. What's up, Konohamaru, did Sasuke beat you up?"<\/p>

"You're teammate's a jerk!" Naruto's fanboy proclaimed, and Sasuke grit his teeth, trying simultaneously to resist the urge to thwack Konohamaru about the head, and to pry his eyes away from the comfortable distance between Sakura and Naruto's shoulders.<\/p>

Luckily, Sakura thwacked Konohamaru for him. "Sasuke's not a jerk!" she snapped.<\/p>

"Oh yeah?" Konohamaru challenged. "You're just saying that 'cause you've got a crush<\/i> on him, you ugly girl!"<\/p>

Moments later, Konohamaru collapsed to the ground, several large lumps sprouting from his head. Sakura smiled sweetly down at the twitching, moaning mass he had become. "What was that?"<\/p>

The child merely glared up at her, prompting Sakura to begin an angry lecture on proper respect to one's elders and pretty girls.<\/p>

Naruto, watching the whole affair with a hand rubbing awkwardly at the back of his head, chuckled nervously. "Um, I'm not even going to get involved," he decided. "Hey Sasuke, how are you doing? It feels like I haven't seen you in a while, even if it's only been a few days… Do you want to come get ramen with us?"<\/p>

Us<\/i> suddenly seemed like a very large word. It spread through Sasuke's mind, obliterating all else. Us<\/i>. Ramen with us<\/i>.<\/p>

Naruto was smiling. Sasuke felt like punching him right in the center of that smile, for some reason. He really didn't know why. It wasn't like it concerned him whether or not Naruto was eating ramen with Sakura. He didn't actually care.<\/p>

"…Are you on a date?" Sasuke asked, because he could lie to himself all he wanted, but he still couldn't explain why he felt such bone-deep anger<\/i>.<\/p>

Naruto blushed. "Wh– No! …Does it look like we are?"<\/p>

Sasuke frowned. "You're eating dinner alone together. How is that not a date?"<\/p>

Naruto's blush only grew, and he avoided Sasuke's eyes. For some reason, that seemed very suspicious, and Sasuke began to feel very warm himself, and a little tense. For some reason.<\/p>

"Um, I didn't ask her out," Naruto admitted. "Sh-she's taking me out to celebrate."<\/p>

"…Celebrate what?"<\/p>

"None of your business." Naruto was definitely avoiding his eyes now. Sasuke abruptly came to the realization that his teammates were undoubtedly dating, but didn't want him to know. Of course Naruto wouldn't, after what had happened such a short time ago. Though it wasn't like Sasuke was going to oppose their relationship. It wasn't like he cared. He didn't. He was just…<\/p>

He was just really pissed off<\/i>.<\/p>

"Fine!" Sasuke snapped, and spun jerkily on his heel to stomp away home. He could find something to eat. Even if he hadn't been able to go shopping for a while, he probably could fashion some sort of meal out of the contents of his kitchen cupboards.<\/p>

Above all, he was not in the mood for ramen with Sakura and Naruto.<\/p>

---<\/p>

In some sick twist of fate, all that Sasuke had in his kitchen cupboards was a pack of instant ramen. He stared at it for a few seconds, before slamming the cupboard door shut and storming off to bed. Fine. He didn't need to eat dinner then. He wasn't hungry.<\/p>

Sasuke's stomach growled, and he kicked the wall before flopping face-first into bed. Shut up<\/i>, he told his belly. Stop contradicting me.<\/i><\/p>

He was really angry. At Naruto, and at Sakura, and at Konohamaru, and at that idiot pervert Kakashi for starting all this, and at his stomach for being hungry, and his kitchen for only containing ramen, and his wall for being hard enough to make his toes really hurt<\/i> now, but mostly at himself for being so unreasonable.<\/p>

Sasuke just didn't understand why he was so pissed off. Okay, so he wasn't learning as much as he'd thought he would. He hadn't even activated his Sharingan all week, as Kakashi had told him not to use it outside of training, and every time he tried to use it in training, Kakashi just about murdered him until Sharingan was the last thing on his mind. At least his reaction times were becoming a lot faster, and his speed in making handseals was on the rise, too. That was something.<\/p>

And, yes, Sakura was doing well too. She had actually been working quickly enough to receive a new scroll every morning, even after she'd started helping Naruto as well. Sasuke might not have seen the results of her apparently-successful training yet, but that didn't really matter – he knew the results were there, whereas he wasn't receiving many at all. But her increasing abilities were actually a boon for the team, and Sasuke was confident he'd still be able to defeat her in the end, so Sakura's progress wasn't really bothering him that much.<\/p>

As for Naruto – well, that was where Sasuke kept getting stuck, his thoughts losing all coherency in a swirl of rage. That<\/i> was where the anger was coming from. But there wasn't really any reason for Sasuke to be angry at Naruto – he knew that. So they weren't spending much time together anymore – that wasn't Naruto's fault any more than it was Sasuke's. No, that was purely due to Kakashi. And even the fact that Naruto was training with Sakura was (sort of) Kakashi's fault. The fact that Naruto was dating<\/i> Sakura, however…<\/p>

As soon as he thought that, Sasuke knew what was going on. The true cause of his anger – it was because Naruto was dating Sakura. And Sasuke wanted that to be because Naruto hadn't told him. He wanted it to be because Naruto was going out with Sakura so soon, which must mean he'd never felt so strongly for Sasuke in the first place. He'd even prefer it if he was angry because he liked Sakura himself.<\/p>

But that wasn't it. That wasn't it at all, Sasuke realized all of a sudden. He couldn't care less about those reasons. They didn't explain why the lack of Naruto's 'I love you's were still<\/i> bothering Sasuke, and they didn't explain why Sasuke was so angry at Sakura for being nice to Naruto. Those reasons just plain weren't true.<\/p>

What was true, was infinitely worse. The truth was… horrible, but suddenly Sasuke was realizing<\/i> it, and he wasn't hungry at all now. Actually he felt kind of like throwing up.<\/p>

The truth was that Sasuke was jealous.<\/p>

The truth was that Sasuke… liked Naruto.<\/p>

"Damn you, Kakashi," he whispered into his pillow, face probably literally on fire. "This is all your<\/i> fault."<\/p>

---<\/p>

Chapter Ten:<\/b> Declaration<\/a><\/p>
<\/a>

<\/p>","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/53577.html?view=comments#comments","category":["naruto\/sasuke","naruto"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/53316.html","pubDate":"Sun, 15 Apr 2012 03:55:47 GMT","title":"Secrets: Unpacking","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/53316.html","description":"

<\/p>

Series:<\/b> Secrets<\/div>
Series Summary:<\/b> At age eight, Natsume goes to live with the grandmother he's never met, Reiko. A series of shorts regarding various aspects of their lives as Natsume grows up. AU.<\/div>
Prompt: <\/b>The Book of Friends: Natsume Yuujinchou<\/i> prompt by aishiteru<\/span> for an AU wherein a still-living Reiko takes Natsume in.<\/div>
Chapter: <\/b>Unpacking<\/div>
Chapter<\/b> Summary: <\/strong>Natsume's belongings arrive, and he takes a step forward.<\/div>

A month after moving in with Reiko, the rest of Natsume's things arrive in the mail. He doesn't have much, just two cardboard boxes. Until now he's managed with the contents of his backpack: a single school uniform, a set of pyjamas, and a few casual clothes, as well as the necessary basic toiletries and school supplies. It has been very much like living in someone else's home rather than his own, with a relentless feeling of temporariness, and if Natsume weren't long used to such a thing, he'd have hated it.<\/p>

As it is, Natsume is simply glad to finally receive his own belongings. He hasn't unpacked most of them in some time; after a long string of short stays, Natsume simply got into the habit of removing only what he needed and leaving the rest of his belongings carefully packed away until he next had to move on. The last time he'd unpacked all of his things had been when he was living in a small, flower-cluttered apartment with a distant aunt of his, a kind woman who smiled at Natsume and stroked his hair.<\/p>

Natsume had liked it there; he would close his eyes and pretend it was him she was seeing, not the little girl depicted in the photograph behind the mortuary tablet on her altar. The scent of alcohol around her was overpowered by the flowers, and Natsume became willfully blind – he unpacked his boxes and selfishly wanted nothing to ever change.<\/p>

But one morning his second uncle picked him up from school and took him away from there without an explanation, and he never saw that woman again or heard any news about her – though, he never asked. When Natsume's things were finally sent to him at his uncle's house, they had been packed roughly and the frame for Natsume's only picture of his parents had broken. Ever since then Natsume has held himself ready for sudden departure, and hasn't dared to remove anything truly important to him from the boxes for any longer than a few hours. Some of his relatives find this rude, but Natsume thinks it's far better to be prepared, just in case.<\/p>

Leaving the majority of his belongings packed away has been a matter of course, but now Natsume finds himself hesitating. He kneels in front of the boxes with a craft knife in his hand, uncertain how to proceed, and his heart is beating hard.<\/p>

He feels a little silly. Natsume realizes that he is thinking too much about this. But it feels too monumental, too terrifying, too easy to think of just being taken away one day, never to see his belongings again because they will have been lost or broken.<\/p>

If Reiko knew he was putting so much thought into this, she would probably laugh that gruff, rude, lonely laughter of hers. The thought is – like Reiko herself – a little comforting, sad, and scary all at once, and it makes Natsume's chest feel too tight, his breath coming short.<\/p>

He clicks the knife shut, and walks carefully down the stairs, sitting on the bottom step to watch the door. It's foolish to wait for Reiko to arrive home, because there's no way to predict what time she'll arrive, but Natsume doesn't care. He wants to be there, no matter how long he has to wait.<\/p>

When she eventually walks in the front door, banging it shut behind her and roughly toeing her shoes off, he stands up and takes a step forward. She mutters an automatic, "I'm home," under her breath, more to the wooden floorboards than to him, but Natsume's breath catches anyway.<\/p>

"W-welcome back," he says for the first time, and his voice is mostly steady. Natsume feels extremely vulnerable and more than a little bit childish.<\/p>

But Reiko's gaze is heavy, and thoughtful, and looks to hold many secrets. "I haven't heard that since…" She trails off, then scowls and adds, "It's been a month! What took you so long? Impudent brat."<\/p>

Natsume opens his mouth to respond somehow, but Reiko is already brushing past, using her cane to nudge him out of her way. "Shoo."<\/p>

He turns to watch her enter the kitchen, dropping her coat on the table and glaring at the contents of the fridge. This is foolish, but… he has friends here now, and she's told him before that this is his home too, and she sees what he sees, and maybe that will be enough.<\/p>

"My things came so… I'm unpacking today," Natsume announces, trembling a little, and although Reiko merely hums and bends down into the fridge to retrieve the beginnings of a meal, he feels very brave. "I'm throwing my boxes away."<\/p>

He turns around and goes upstairs after that, not quite seeing the way Reiko closes the fridge door and turns to watch him, eyes narrowed and lips pressed thin together. He doesn't notice her quietly following after him, either, nor the way she leans against his open doorway and watches as he cuts open the first box and starts removing clothes, books, and a single picture without a frame.<\/p>

Natsume hardly looks at it for a moment, before quickly folding it and tucking it away into a book. He does so rather roughly, features twisted up into something dark and painful – but then he hides the book away in the closet with evident care, and Reiko laughs out loud.<\/p>

"My grandson is an idiot," she comments loudly when he jumps and stares at her wide-eyed, before turning to leave.<\/p>

But she doesn't go very far; Reiko remains in the hallway, listening to the sounds of Natsume settling in to stay, and eventually murmurs to herself, in a tone almost pleased: "…Welcome home."<\/p>
<\/a>

<\/p>","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/53316.html?view=comments#comments","category":["natsume yuujinchou","prompted","gen","secrets"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/53194.html","pubDate":"Tue, 03 Apr 2012 04:26:51 GMT","title":"Secrets: Friends","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/53194.html","description":"

Series: <\/b>Secrets<\/div>
Series Summary: <\/b>At age eight, Natsume goes to live with the grandmother he's never met, Reiko. A series of shorts regarding various aspects of their lives as Natsume grows up. AU.<\/div>
Prompt: <\/b>The Book of Friends: Natsume Yuujinchou<\/i> prompt by aishiteru<\/b> for an AU wherein a still-living Reiko takes Natsume in.<\/div>

Chapter: <\/b>Friends<\/div>
Chapter Summary: <\/b>Natsume has a little difficulty settling in to his new home.<\/div>

Friends<\/strong><\/div>
Reiko, much like her grandson, has a reputation for being weird and eerie, as Natsume soon learns. After class ends on his first day, Natsume is approached by an excitable group of his classmates. He's used to this fascination with a transfer student, and knows that it's not so much about him personally as it is the novelty of seeing a new face. The popularity always dies down quickly, especially when there are youkai in the area.<\/div>

Usually, though, the fascination is centered around Natsume's own past – where he has come from, why he's moved here, what it was like in his old town – most questions that Natsume can only give vague answers to, for fear of being called a liar again. He's used to that. He wasn't expecting to be approached by a boy with messy brown hair who asks if he's living with that witch<\/em> as though the single word is all the description necessary.<\/p>

Well, it sort of is, though.<\/p>

When Natsume says yes, the boy introduces himself and his friend, and asks Natsume to invite them over sometime to search her house for the tools of her trade. Natsume smiles politely and says, "No, thank you."<\/p>

This reaction is partially automatic, as Natsume's already well in the habit of deflecting any sort of attention away from him. Besides that, he is not willing to allow anyone to mock his grandmother – not that it would bother her. Reiko is utterly unaffected by the neighborhood's scorn, a facet of her personality Natsume would envy if it weren't for the way she scorns them right back, evident in the expression on her face as she had walked him home from the train station that first night.<\/p>

Natsume doesn't mind that, though. She may be cold and stiff, but she sees what he sees, and that makes all the difference. When he first arrived, he had been so overjoyed to find someone who shared in his ability, that he had naively assumed they would become inseparable confidants. It takes only a few short, sharp conversations with Reiko over the first week of living with her to understand that such a thing will never come to be. Reiko has no trust left, in anyone, and she only took Natsume in due to his similarities and blood-relation to her. She understands what he has gone through, but only to a point due to their differing personalities, and she is not willing to open up to him or to allow him to open up to her. Though he had hoped for more, Natsume treasures his current relationship with Reiko regardless, even if he is almost certain that she cares very little for him at all.<\/p>

She still took him in. That's what matters most.<\/p>

So Natsume spends his days alone, keeping his distance from the other children at school (frequently fending off the brown-haired boy's repeated requests to visit his house) and trying not to get in Reiko's way at home. He knows that she often finds him aggravating – Reiko can't seem to stand Natsume's good manners and careful attitude around her. It probably doesn't help that, despite not being allowed to call her 'obaasan', Natsume really isn't comfortable calling her 'Reiko' so easily. Instead he says 'obasan', on the rare occasions he talks to her at all, and watches her expression twitch with irritation every time he does.<\/p>

It's not much of a problem, though, because Reiko is rarely around when Natsume is. He doesn't know what she does for a living, but it must be very demanding, as Reiko often returns home after the sun has set. Natsume makes sure that he doesn't leave any mess out to get in her way.<\/p>

After a week of this, Natsume is starting to feel a little lonely. He shouldn't be, he knows that – the fact that Reiko is providing him with a home ought to be more than enough for him. And he hasn't been attacked by any youkai so far. Natsume should be feeling happy<\/em>. But instead he's lonely and plagued with just as many nightmares as before, and wanting so much to go to Reiko and talk to her, to see her smile again, to return from school every day to her waiting for him and telling him 'welcome home'.<\/p>

Natsume wants too much, but he doesn't make any attempts to get it, because more than any of that, he wants to stay here. Even if Reiko never says another word to him, simply knowing that she can see what he does is comfort enough. Natsume is terrified of leaving this place, but experience has taught him just how likely that possibility is, just how important it is for him not to push his boundaries.<\/p>

He is resigned to that, to reality. Natsume might want so much more, but he doesn't actually expect to get any of it… so it's a surprise when one day Reiko is home for dinner. They eat in near-silence after his unacknowledged compliment of the food, the only sound the scrape of their chopsticks: Natsume's quiet and even, Reiko's fast-paced and hard.<\/p>

Reiko finishes first and drops her dishes in the sink with a clatter. Natsume tries to eat a little faster in order to catch up, and she leans against the fridge to cross her arms over her chest and watch him. Her expression is unreadable, but deep thought and a sort of sadness lurk behind her eyes. Eventually, she says, "You can bring your friends over sometime, if you want."<\/p>

It takes a strong effort not to jerk in his seat. Instead, Natsume goes completely still. A kind of crazy energy thrums through his veins as he says, "I… don't want to bother you."<\/p>

Reiko snorts. Her fingers tapping rapidly against her arm reveal how uncomfortable she feels. "This is your house too, Takashi. You're ten already, be bolder."<\/p>

Natsume decides not to tell her that he is only eight. Nor does he mention how warm and almost dazey being told this is his house too<\/em> feels, like a daydream under the summer sun. Instead, he smiles, and makes sure she sees it. "Thank you, obasan. If I make any friends, I'll ask you if they can come visit."<\/p>

"The whole point is that you don't need to ask. …And call me Reiko<\/em>."<\/p>

Natsume nods, then stiffens when a rough hand lands on his shoulder in a hesitant pat. It's gone before he can relax into the touch, and Reiko is already rounding the corner without another word.<\/p>

He wishes he hadn't flinched. Maybe then she would have stayed longer. But then, if she had, she would have noticed the way his eyes are getting blurry. Natsume stares down hard at his plate, trying not to let any moisture fall. The smile on his face is a little too shaky for its width, a little too fragile, but that's okay. Natsume's shoulder feels warm where Reiko touched it, and her voice was – under the usual brusqueness – almost kind.<\/p>

Maybe she cares more than he thought.<\/p>

Eventually, Natsume sniffs one last time and stands to wash the dishes and slip quietly upstairs to his room to do homework. The next day at lunch, when the brown-haired boy asks his usual question, Natsume smiles his normal polite smile, nerves fluttering in his gut.<\/p>

"If... If you really want to come, it's okay," he mutters, just barely audible. "My grandmother said my friends could visit."<\/p>

The boy stares at him for a long time, then grins widely back, displaying a piece of seaweed trapped between his teeth. "How creepy. She probably wants to eat us. My name's Nishimura, let's be good friends!"<\/p>

At this, Natsume's smile softens into something much more genuine, something bruised and yet still hopeful, and he doesn't notice but it makes Nishimura smile a little softer back. "Okay."<\/p>

------<\/p>

Chapter Notes: <\/strong><\/p>

Reiko's job (no clue yet what it might be, any ideas?) is not actually that demanding. She's mostly just beating up youkai instead of coming home at a reasonable time.<\/p>

Of course, she is infamous in town. Nishimura seems like the type to get very excited about the local neighborhood 'witch' and try very hard to prove her witchy activities. He's been trying to figure out a way in her house without getting murdered for ages, thoroughly annoying Kitamoto in the process. Natsume's arrival is just the chance he's been waiting for.<\/p>
<\/a>

<\/p>","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/53194.html?view=comments#comments","category":["natsume yuujinchou","prompted","gen","secrets"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/52780.html","pubDate":"Tue, 03 Apr 2012 04:23:29 GMT","title":"Secrets: Home","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/52780.html","description":"Series:<\/b> Secrets
Series Summary:<\/b> At age eight, Natsume goes to live with the grandmother he's never met, Reiko. A series of shorts regarding various aspects of their lives as Natsume grows up. AU.
Prompt: <\/b>The Book of Friends: Natsume Yuujinchou <\/i>prompt by aishiteru<\/b> for an AU wherein a still-living Reiko takes Natsume in.

Chapter:<\/b> Home
Chapter Summary: <\/b>Eight-year-old Natsume arrives at the house of yet another relative who has agreed to take him in. Something is different this time, though.


Home<\/strong><\/div>

The woman isn't terribly old, but she looks it because her hair is long and wild and grey. She's not ugly – actually, she's very good-looking for her age, with very few lines on her face, but something about the look in her eyes is warning enough to stay away, or something mysterious and unpleasant might befall you in the near future.<\/p>

Natsume wonders, halfheartedly, if she is a witch. The other half of him wonders if she is one of those things he's not supposed to see, not supposed to mention – certainly not supposed to be choked, chased, or chomped on by. It doesn't really occur to him that she could be fully human – there's a strange quality in the air around her, a sort of buzzing presence that prickles at the edges of Natsume's awareness. It's a little scary, but somehow familiar, too, and not all bad.<\/p>

"So," she says. "You're my grandkid, huh."<\/p>

Natsume stares up at her for a long moment, eyes unfocused. Well, to anyone else they'd seem unfocused – he's actually watching the long, thin wisp of shadow wearing a mask with three eyes on it, swooping through the air behind her. But he gathers his control up quickly, blinks his attention back to her, and nods quietly.<\/p>

She stares at him.<\/p>

His hands tighten on the straps of his backpack.<\/p>

"I wouldn't be taking you in," she says, abruptly turning to lead the way into the house, "if I hadn't heard that you'd already been through just about every other branch of the family there is. They told me you have problems."<\/p>

Natsume might have been upset to hear this, even as little as two years ago. But he's learned a lot about how the world works in the past several years, and he understands that there are many reasons his grandmother might have for never having even visited before. Despite the fact that she is his closest relative, he's been told that she and his mother had a falling-out before he was born and she'd lost all contact with his family for some time. Also, as she said, he causes problems for the people who take him in. No old lady would want to have to deal with that, with a boy who talks to things that don't exist, and attracts bad luck like a carcass does flies. He's not angry that she's only accepting him into her home as some kind of last resort.<\/p>

"I heard you lie all the time," the woman says. "And you do bad things to the people who take care of you. And you talk to the empty air, and yell in public, and throw fits for no reason, and hurt yourself."<\/p>

Natsume doesn't deny it.<\/p>

She uses her cane – a long, smooth piece of wood covered in various symbols and many small strips of paper, which she hasn't used for balance at all so far – to knock open the door at the end of the hall. It slams loudly into the wall, revealing a small, but tidy bedroom.<\/p>

"This'll be yours," the old lady grunts. "Go put your stuff inside."<\/p>

Natsume stares at the doorway, and bites his lip. "I'm okay."<\/p>

"Do as I say! Put your things inside so we can finish up here."<\/p>

Natsume doesn't reply for a long moment, busy doing some math. If he counts the two hours he waited for her to come get him from the train station, and the walk here, then this won't actually be the shortest amount of time he's ever stayed with someone. It's pretty close, though.<\/p>

"I… I can't go in," Natsume murmurs, ducking his head. "There's a big head in the way."<\/p>

The old woman's breath hitches. After a short pause, she speaks while Natsume examines the floor. "Already causing trouble? …His name isn't 'Big Head'. It's 'Big Nose'."<\/p>

The big head taking up the entire room frowns, and grumbles, "That's not it, either…" in a voice deep enough to crack boulders.<\/p>

Natsume slowly looks up. He first blinks at the big head, then at the old woman. She is staring back at him with an odd expression, something all mixed up between sadness and loneliness and happiness and hatred and a little bit of understanding, all at once.<\/p>

"I hate people, and I hate formality," she finally says, brandishing her cane at the big head. "Get lost," she tells it, and in a bright flash of light, it does.<\/p>

"So I don't want you calling me 'obaasan', understand? I'm Reiko! Natsume Reiko! And you, kid?"<\/p>

Natsume hesitates for a long time, unsure if she really doesn't know his name or if this is just a formality, then whispers, "Natsume Takashi."<\/p>

Her smile, when it unfolds, is wide and welcoming, like a sunny spring morning just after a very harsh winter. It registers like a cool breeze on Natsume's temple, like warm arms encircling him and never letting go, like a secret finally shared.<\/p>

"Welcome home, Takashi," says Reiko.<\/p>
<\/a>

<\/p>","comments":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/52780.html?view=comments#comments","category":["natsume yuujinchou","prompted","gen","secrets"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/52669.html","pubDate":"Tue, 03 Apr 2012 04:18:17 GMT","title":"Smile","author":"vickygal","link":"https:\/\/vickygal.livejournal.com\/52669.html","description":"Title: <\/b>Smile
Summary: <\/b>Tanuma encounters a youkai with a familiar face, and comes to a few realizations about himself.
Prompt:<\/b> The Book of Friends: Natsume Yuujinchou Exchange<\/i> prompt by Qem<\/b>. Details below the fic.<\/span>


Tanuma was walking home when Natsume stumbled out of the woods in front of him, covered in leaves and panting heavily. He dashed forward to catch Natsume's arm before he fell, and supported him carefully.

"Natsume! Are you alright?" Tanuma glanced at the still trees around them, unable to see anything, yet uncertain if that meant nothing dangerous was there.<\/p>

Natsume straightened; but his leg buckled, and he had to lean on Tanuma to support himself. His eyes were half-closed, his expression strained.<\/p>

"…I'm okay," he murmured. "It's gone."<\/p>

Tanuma sighed in relief, and ceased his frantic looks around the area in favor of lifting Natsume's arm around his shoulders and beginning to guide his friend to a nearby hillock. "What happened to your leg?"<\/p>

Natsume sat down easily – then winced a half-second later, as though the mention of his injury reminded him of the pain. "Don't worry about it," he said with a smile. "I just twisted my ankle."<\/p>

His smile looked a little off, somehow. It lacked the usual gentleness, the almost serene sadness that always lurked behind it in moments such as these. Instead, there was an edge of almost… glee.<\/p>

Tanuma frowned.<\/p>

"You're not Natsume. Are you."<\/p>

For a moment, Natsume's eyes went wide and innocent. Then that expression collapsed, as the faux Natsume dissolved into malicious snickers. "Oho, that was quick<\/em>, Tanuma!"<\/p>

Tanuma tried to yank back, but not-Natsume latched onto his wrist, with telling strength. If Tanuma hadn't already known, this would have been all the indicator he needed that this was a youkai.<\/p>

"How do you know my name? What do you want?" Tanuma demanded. The youkai smirked at him, the expression odd on Natsume's face.<\/p>

"Nothing much," not-Natsume said, baring his teeth in a malicious grin. "Just to eat you."<\/p>

"To – uwah!" Tanuma flailed back in a panic as the youkai leaned closer, licking its lips and opening its mouth fully to reveal teeth that were much sharper than any human's. It bent over Tanuma's arm, still grinning, and sniffed at his skin, completely unaffected by Tanuma's efforts to pull his arm free or kick it away.<\/p>

The smile on the youkai's face upended itself as it inhaled deeply against Tanuma's arm. "Blech! You smell like that old fool's wards!"<\/p>

Not-Natsume let go of Tanuma abruptly, causing the boy to fall over backwards since he'd been pulling away so hard. When he straightened warily, the youkai had flopped back on the grass, folding its arms under its head. It looked disturbingly human.<\/p>

He knew he should running right now. It was pure luck that the youkai hadn't eaten him already. He should be sprinting to the safety of his warded home, calling Natsume and reporting that a dangerous youkai was taking his shape. He should hand this problem over to someone capable of dealing with it, before his luck ran out.<\/p>

But if Tanuma did that, Natsume would be the one in danger instead.<\/p>

He stood his ground, glaring at the creature wearing his friend's skin like a mask. "You still haven't answered my question. How do you know my name? Why are you… looking like that?"<\/p>

The youkai glanced at him, then away. It yawned rudely. "What, you haven't left yet?"<\/p>

Tanuma persisted, despite the knowledge thrumming through him that he was an idiot; that he was probably going to die. "Tell me! …Please!"<\/p>

Not-Natsume lay very still for a long moment. Then it leapt lightly to its feet, and stalked over to Tanuma. "Does it bother you, me looking like this? It must, for you to risk your life by hanging around here."<\/p>

Tanuma opened his mouth to reply, but didn't get the chance. The youkai had already ghosted forward until it was mere millimeters away from him, staring straight into his eyes.<\/p>

"Too. Bad," it enunciated clearly. "I'm interested in you, Tanuma<\/em>. I want to know what makes you tick."<\/p>

And then, with a sudden gust of wind, it was gone.<\/p>

---<\/p>

Tanuma lay awake late into the night, staring at the ripples on his ceiling.<\/p>

He was frightened.<\/p>

It wasn't something he wanted to admit. It felt… weak, acknowledging that he was scared. Tanuma hated<\/em> feeling weak, all the more since he actually was weak. He hated feeling helpless while Natsume faced off such terrifying dangers, and he hated that he was secretly glad he was weak enough that none of them had ever targeted him instead.<\/p>

Once, he'd wanted to be able to be as strong as Natsume. Omibashira had effectively killed that desire, or at least the selfish portion of it: now Tanuma wished he were stronger so that Natsume wouldn't have to face such things alone (and he didn't think about Natori and Ponta and the fact that Natsume wasn't really quite so terribly alone and probably didn't need him at all anyway). Even if he was enough of a coward to be secretly, shamefully happy not to be able to see youkai clearly, Tanuma was still brave enough to attempt to help despite that.<\/p>

Or if not brave, then at least a little desperate. Natsume was what he cared about, in the end: being able to protect and help Natsume, just as Natsume had always done for him. Being able to lighten that burden Natsume carried, being able to be Natsume's equal, not to be left behind.<\/p>

Tanuma was frightened. But he didn't tell Natsume about the youkai, and several days later, it returned as he'd expected.<\/p>

---<\/p>

It wore Natsume's form once more, and as before, the mask was initially perfect. Tanuma wouldn't have known the difference, had he not just parted ways with his friend only minutes ago, Natsume walking away in the opposite direction from where this<\/em> Natsume was coming.<\/p>

"What do you want?" Tanuma asked immediately, and not-Natsume smiled charmingly, Natsume's lips curving up smoothly at both ends.<\/p>

(Tanuma dragged his eyes away, feeling somehow guilty.)<\/p>

"Tell me, Tanuma," it said, gesturing down at the body it wore, "what do you think of this kid?"<\/p>

Tanuma swallowed hard. "I don't have to tell you that."<\/p>

"Nooo," the youkai drawled, irritation prickling across Natsume's features, "you don't. I also don't have to let you live."<\/p>

"You don't," Tanuma agreed, throat dry, "but even so, I'm not telling you anything you can use against Natsume."<\/p>

The youkai squinted angrily at him. "You little wretch," it snarled, "How dare you presume I want anything<\/em> to do with that brat!"<\/p>

This caught Tanuma off guard. Up till now, he'd naturally assumed that the youkai merely saw him in regards to Natsume – as a source of information, nothing else. If that wasn't the case… Tanuma had no idea what was going on. "But – didn't you want to know-?"<\/p>

"I want to know<\/em>," the youkai spat, "about you<\/em>. You annoying imbecile."<\/p>

Tanuma stared in silence.<\/p>

"Why didn't you tell Natsume about me?" the youkai demanded, voice rising. "Do you also prefer being eaten to receiving help?" It snorted derisively. "You're too weak to even scratch me, so don't go thinking you might be able to defend yourself without getting him involved."<\/p>

"I – I wasn't thinking that," Tanuma replied. "I… know I'm weak. But – there's still some things I can do."<\/p>

The youkai crossed its arms, glaring at him. It felt strange, to have Natsume's face looking at him in such a way. It felt as though he'd done something wrong, and should apologize, and beg forgiveness. It felt horrible, and worse for the knowledge that this wasn't Natsume at all, so he shouldn't let it bother him like this.<\/p>

It felt worse still, when the youkai next spoke, in Natsume's voice: "No, Tanuma, there's not. There's really nothing you can do. You're useless, you do know that, right?"<\/p>

Tanuma took a deep breath. The summer air felt cold in his lungs. For a second he forgot entirely to fear for his life, because it seemed to have ended already.<\/p>

"I'm not," he said dully, voice singularly lacking in conviction.<\/p>

Natsume's eyes regarded him frankly, Natsume's face smoothing out to a blank matter-of-factness that was worse even than the anger had been. Natsume's voice reached out to him, seemed to swirl around him, leaving shivers in its wake: "Yes, you are."<\/p>

---<\/p>

"Are you feeling okay?"<\/p>

Tanuma jerked, startled. "What?"<\/p>

Natsume smiled slightly. It didn't disguise the worry in his eyes. "You nearly walked into a rice patty just now."<\/p>

Tanuma slowly looked down. Indeed, he was mere inches away from plunging off the road and into a rice patty. Carefully, he took several steps back. "Um, no, I'm fine."<\/p>

They began walking again, silently. Several minutes passed before Natsume spoke again, eyes darting towards Tanuma then away. "If… You can tell me, if anything is wrong."<\/p>

"No," Tanuma insisted quickly, too quickly, it was obvious he was lying. "Nothing's wrong at all, I'm just a little absentminded today."<\/p>

Natsume didn't reply for a few more steps, and when Tanuma glanced over at him, his friend was looking at ground, hand squeezing tightly around the handle of his bookbag. He had a small, resigned smile on his face, and Tanuma instantly felt like scum.<\/p>

"Oh," Natsume said, no hint of his distress in his voice, just careful politeness. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry…"<\/p>

Tanuma normally would have broken into Natsume's apology here, saying something about how it wasn't necessary or how Natsume should realize that Tanuma was willing to listen to his problems, too.<\/p>

But today all Tanuma could think was useless<\/em>, and he didn't say a thing. Natsume's apology trailed off into the quiet, and they continued walking without speaking.<\/p>

---<\/p>

"Yo! Tanuma!"<\/p>

The youkai was grinning cheerfully, hands shoved in its pockets as it leaned up against the stone pillar at the gate to Tanuma's home.<\/p>

Tanuma eyed it wearily; angry at himself for the way his gaze got caught on its happy smile, lingered there for a while. "What do you want?"<\/p>

"Oh, did I make you angry?" The youkai's grin grew a little sharper. "It's true, though."<\/p>

Tanuma sighed. "Shut up."<\/p>

A flash of malice, then. A voice suddenly too deep, too powerful, too altogether inhuman, rumbling out of not-Natsume's chest: "Do you want to die?"<\/p>

Tanuma flinched back, cursing himself for forgetting the danger he was in. Youkai were deadly. He'd witnessed that, firsthand.<\/p>

As if mollified by his obvious fear, the youkai settled back against the pillar, seeming to relax back into smug pretense. "Tell me about yourself, Tanuma," it cajoled, flashing that not-Natsume grin his way once again. "Go on."<\/p>

Tanuma hated this youkai. Hated<\/em> it. "No."<\/p>

"You know," not-Natsume said, "I'm not very patient."<\/p>

It stepped aside to allow Tanuma past, and he walked stiffly by. He felt it watching him all the way up to the door, but he didn't look back.<\/p>

That night, he asked his father to teach him his exorcism chants.<\/p>

---<\/p>

Walking through the halls in school, mumbling the chants under his breath. Tanuma couldn't seem to get them right. He didn't know if it would even work, anyway; even when he managed to successfully say the whole thing he didn't feel as though anything was happening. Still, it was the least he could do. And at least it was something to do<\/em>.<\/p>

Taki smiled at him in passing, and Tanuma stopped mumbling to say hello to her. He wondered if he could tell her about the youkai. She would probably understand why he hadn't told Natsume yet, at least. And maybe she would be able to help him somehow.<\/p>

Telling her would probably be wise. But Tanuma couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to tell her what the youkai had said to him, of what he knew to be true. Which was stupid, because she was in the same boat, but Tanuma sometimes thought her desire to help Natsume was nothing compared to his own, a mere droplet to his rainstorm, and so her weakness mattered correspondingly less. It wasn't that she didn't want to help Natsume, but Natsume held far less sway over her. She wouldn't be so destroyed by those words spoken in Natsume's voice, she – it was just different<\/em> somehow, and Tanuma didn't want her meeting not-Natsume.<\/p>

He had to do this himself.<\/p>

---<\/p>

He sat, back against a tree, waiting. It didn't take long – five minutes, and then Natsume stepped out from behind a tree, and came to sit in front of him.<\/p>

Tanuma spoke before the youkai could. "If I tell you what you want to know, what will you do?"<\/p>

It grinned goofily, in a way that felt all wrong and made Tanuma's chest ache a little. "Well, I'll probably go away."<\/p>

"What if I don't?"<\/p>

The youkai shrugged, stretching a finger out to draw in the dirt. "Do you want to find out?"<\/p>

The lines in the dirt formed a name: Natsume<\/em>. Tanuma swallowed, feeling sick.<\/p>

"No," he said quietly. Then he began to chant, carefully, pressing all his energy into every word, intent on banishing this malevolent youkai forever.<\/p>

Even before he finished speaking, he knew it was no good. The youkai didn't even flinch, didn't move to stop him. It simply watched and waited, until Tanuma was done, at which point it smiled, and scuffed its foot across the name written on the ground.<\/p>

"My first question is, what do you want with this face I'm wearing?"<\/p>

Tanuma spoke carefully, voice catching against the lump in his throat. "I just – " he couldn't look away from that name in the dirt, half-erased – "want to help him."<\/p>

The youkai made a sound of understanding, a low hum. "Even though you can't."<\/p>

Tanuma didn't answer. Not-Natsume didn't seem to mind, simply smiling at him. "Even though he won't let you help him, even though he tells you nothing, even though you just barely have the ability to see shadows, you still want to help him. Why is that? It can't just be this charming face."<\/p>

The youkai suddenly lifted its arms, flexing them and posing in front of Tanuma with an arrogant look on its face, one eyebrow raised. "Though I am<\/em> pretty handsome."<\/p>

The suddenly childish behaviour was so at odds with all the subtle menace up till now that Tanuma gaped. The youkai snorted at him and dropped its arms. It seemed amused at the reaction it had caused, and Tanuma quickly forced himself to glare at it, provoked into anger.<\/p>

"I'm his friend!" Tanuma snapped. "Do I need any more reason?"<\/p>

"But you do<\/em> have another reason. That's what I want to know."<\/p>

Tanuma shook his head. He felt sick again, helpless, weak, unable to make a difference, not-Natsume just watching him, just waiting for him, just sitting there<\/em> and he couldn't do a thing –<\/p>

"I can help him," Tanuma insisted quietly, because everything would break if he admitted otherwise. If he gave up on that, on helping Natsume, then it would be as though he'd never changed at all. He would still be that same weak, ill Tanuma whose health waxed and waned with the shadows around him, that boy who was all alone and with no one to understand, that same child just on a slow slide to the end, and not able to do anything about it. "Even if it's just… knowing, I can help him that way."<\/p>

"But you don't just do that, do you? What about when you get yourself put in danger? When you try so hard to help him that you end up doing extremely foolish things that cause him to have to save you?<\/em>" It had Natsume's smile almost exactly right this time, gentle and a little sad, and Tanuma felt on the verge of something terrifying.<\/p>

"That's not–!" Tanuma stopped himself. "I… even if I know it's stupid, I want to help him. Even if I…" he shuddered, but said it anyway, feeling dizzy and foolish and very sad as he finally realized, "Even if I'm too weak, I'll try to help him anyway. Because I – I don't want him to leave me behind."<\/p>

Tanuma hung his head. It hurt to realize, to actually admit that his endless efforts to be helpful to Natsume weren't really about helping Natsume at all. They were nothing more than the result of his own selfish desire not to be left out, to be pushed away from Natsume's life, to be left alone<\/em> again. Even though he knew Natsume had been through so much worse! Even though he knew he was lucky<\/em> not to be caught up in the world of youkai any more than he was! Even though he was scared of the youkai, Tanuma still wanted more power, more sight, enough to match Natsume. Not for any of the noble reasons he'd told himself, no, Tanuma was just a lonely coward, latching on to Natsume, weak, pitiful<\/em> –<\/p>

"Oh." The youkai's voice brought Tanuma out of his daze. It was looking at him with a thoughtful expression, which soon morphed into boredom. "Well, that's a lot of time wasted."<\/p>

With a pop, Natsume vanished, a familiar maneki neko<\/em> flipping to land on the forest floor instead. With a strident voice, he demanded, "I want you to buy me a hundred cakes to make up for it!"<\/p>

Tanuma stared. "Wh – Ponta?<\/em> Why did you…?"<\/p>

The fat cat blinked sourly up at him. "You were annoying me. There was something about the way you were acting around Natsume… It made me suspicious."<\/p>

Tanuma was almost too shocked to be offended, but not quite. He was also starting to grow very angry. "You actually thought I wanted to hurt Natsume? How could you think that!"<\/p>

"I didn't think that. Stop yelling. Don't make me kill you." Ponta sniffed haughtily, then jumped without invitation up onto Tanuma's shoulder. "I just didn't understand why you kept getting yourself involved in stupid things when you're so pathetically weak. You're almost as bad as Natsume. He's so foolish, always worrying by himself and not saying anything. At least that's one<\/em> thing you're not useless for."<\/p>

Tanuma's anger stilled. As did his breathing, his heart, every particle of him frozen on hearing those words. Time, his thoughts, all of it ground to a halt as he slowly, slowly took in what Ponta had said. Then it all jerked back into being with an almost painful thump of his heart, words escaping his mouth near breathless in their haste: "What do you mean?"<\/p>

Ponta kicked him. "I'll tell you if you buy me cake."<\/p>

Tanuma stood and started to walk without hesitation. "Okay."<\/p>

The heavy weight over his shoulder settled down into what seemed to be a more comfortable position, and that familiar voice spoke into his ear. "That idiot used to be so stupid, he'd always suffer by himself. Now at least you don't let him just keep doing that so easily… and the better he feels, the more he's willing to buy me treats!"<\/p>

Tanuma ignored Ponta's continuing musings on food, all his attention focused on simply walking without losing control of his legs and falling to the ground. It was one thing to hope<\/em> that he was helping when he insisted that Natsume share at least his stories if not his responsibilities, but it was completely another to hear it spoken as a simple truth, that what Tanuma was doing made a difference. That Natsume cared was something he'd known, but intellectually rather than instinctively; it was hard to truly believe it, when Natsume spent so much time trying to keep Tanuma out of things. He knew that was just because Natsume was no good at sharing his burdens, but he'd begun to doubt whether it wasn't also simply because Natsume didn't want<\/em> his help – to wonder whether even in such a simple regard, he wasn't more of a hindrance than anything else.<\/p>

Did it really matter, if he was spiritually weak? Maybe he couldn't help enough in that regard – not yet<\/em>, there had to be more than chants, something he could do – but if he truly helped Natsume just by knowing, just by being his friend and being ready and willing and even pushy enough to demand<\/em> inclusion in his troubles, that might be good enough. So long as that was true, Tanuma wouldn't be left behind.<\/p>

And his reasons were selfish – but so long as he was helping Natsume, did that really matter? That was what was most important, in the end – Natsume, and the thought that maybe one day he'd be able to smile at Tanuma like Ponta sometimes had as not-Natsume, without that shadow behind his eyes, without that distant sadness that still lingered in everything he did.<\/p>

Tanuma felt giddy, stupid with an idiotic sort of euphoria, and he bought five expensive cakes for Ponta without complaint. The cat tore into them, moaning in bliss around mouthfuls of the baked good, and Tanuma watched him bemusedly, almost unable to reconcile the smooth, menacing youkai he'd feared for the past week with this greedy pig.<\/p>

He still didn't understand exactly why Ponta had done that at all. The cat's explanation was vague and a little strange, but Tanuma had a feeling that his real reason had been concern, in some way, for Natsume. Ponta was a good bodyguard after all, sometimes.<\/p>

"AH! Nyanko-sensei! There you are!"<\/p>

Tanuma looked up at the shout, although the one being addressed ignored it in favor of his cake, only noticing his 'master' when Natsume picked him up and hugged him to his chest.<\/p>

"Touko-san was looking everywhere for you!" Natsume scolded the feebly struggling cat in his arms. "And here you are, eating cake!" He turned to Tanuma, smiling a little nervously. "Sorry. He didn't make you buy that, did he?"<\/p>

Tanuma smiled in return, something swelling very large in his throat at the way Natsume's eyes met his before darting off. "No, it's fine. I met him in the woods just now, and I didn't mind getting it for him."<\/p>

Natsume winced. "Sorry!" He glared down at the subject of discussion. "Some bodyguard you are! Wandering around and making people buy you sweets instead of guarding!"<\/p>

"Nothing happened, anyway, leave me alone," Ponta whined, finally wiggling free and landing back on the bench to eat the remaining few bites. "If you couldn't stay alive that long then you'd deserve to die!"<\/p>

"That's not what a bodyguard should be saying!" Natsume snapped back, before turning to Tanuma once more. "Sorry, again, Tanuma."<\/p>

Tanuma didn't bother to suppress his grin. "No," he said, warmth spreading through him when Natsume's eyes met his. "No, actually, thanks. For asking about me earlier this week," he added at Natsume's confused expression. "I… you were right, I wasn't okay, but I'm fine now, so thank you."<\/p>

As Tanuma watched, a slow, embarrassed blush rose on Natsume's cheeks. "Oh – no, I didn't do anything. I'm… glad you're okay. Like I said, if I can help, you can…"<\/p>

Tanuma's grin grew even wider, "You too. Take your own advice! I want to listen, even if I can't do anything… okay?"<\/p>

Over the past four days, Tanuma had come to realize just how weak he was, just how pathetic and selfish and pitiful, how small he really was. But none of that mattered now – nothing mattered – the whole world had condensed down to one small and simple fact, his heart racing and breath catching, soul swelling within him at this one little thing –<\/p>

Because he might be selfish, might be weak and small and unworthy, but Tanuma was smiling at Natsume and Natsume was looking back at him, and Ponta, now snarfing the last few bites of cake and belching loudly, had told him that these things Tanuma did mattered<\/em> to Natsume, made him happy, helped him and if that were true he wouldn't leave Tanuma behind, instead he'd do what he was doing right this instant, that one small thing without a hint of sadness –<\/p>

Natsume smiled.<\/p>

------<\/p>

This fic explores the following requested Tanuma issues<\/b>:<\/p>

- only partially seeing youkai, spiritual power
- the way he's apart from other people - can see things they can't
- the way he feels frustrated as his sight is weak - can't see things Natsume can
- learning to improve his own power
- interest in getting close to Natsume
- having him talk with spirits (Madara)<\/p>

The idea of Madara changing his shape also came from the prompt, with inspiration from the Omibashira arc. My justification for why Tanuma didn't suspect Madara of being the youkai is that Madara had never acted that way around him (call it flimsy if you wish).<\/p>
<\/a>

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