All is quietMaybe TOO quietAt this time of the morning, the streets should be bustling with people and traffic Atop The Folly Tower, the sharp-eyed Renfrew McGruel, head gamekeeper of Sir Rufus Pitt-Bulstrode, spots movement to the north. Could this explain the deserted streets of Much Rampling? YES….! Alerted by a hail from McGruel, Sir Rufus, Lord Lieutenant of Borsetshire, prepares his men for the fight against the encroaching Archer gang with an inspiring addressMeanwhile, the loutish Dan Archer, harangues his ruffianly followers Mrs P (centre, in green) and Clarrie (large lady on the right) are already being difficult. Dan would be wise not to rely on their support
It’s all too likely that the peace of Much Rampling is about to be ripped asunder…….
Although all this armed activity is ostensibly intended to punish the Archer gang for their disgraceful assault upon Constable Smallbottom, the man himself is reluctant to take a leading rôle. As Sir Rufus leads his men against the foe, Smallbottom is noticeable hanging back. “Er, I’m just going to make sure everything’s ok in the Old Town” he calls to the rest of the group as they stalwartly advance. Meanwhile, Dan Archer has his own problems with reluctant followers. Mrs P is still arguing the toss. Doris (in blue hat), on the other hand is eager to get to grips with the enemy. She takes up a commanding position in the butter market, supported by Tom ForestDoris can be seen here in the butter market with Tom Forest to her right. Next to him is young Phil Archer and to his right, by the wall, is Dan himself. Further back in the field by the gate is Bert “Sizzler” Fry. The rest of Dan’s gang have made themselves scarce. Sir Rufus’ men are straggling into action. Wrench, with Lewis gun has gained a good position behind the park wall and Freddie Pitt-Bulstrode is at the corner to his right. The rest are still moving up although there is no sign of SmallbottomThat’s because the constable is guarding the entrance to an alleyway which is no doubt an important thing to do
It looks like the time for manoeuvre is over…….
Oh dear…! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear – now that was brutal. Accurate fire from Wrench and Freddie has brought down Tom Forrest and Young Phil. Dan, never the most subtle of tacticians, reacts true to form. With a fearsome oath on his lips, he charges across the open space at Freddie whilst Doris gives covering fire. Dan is now in advanced middle-age and arrives somewhat out of breath so his brawl with Freddie is inconclusive
This gives Sir Rufus the opportunity to join in the melee, supported by von Strepsil and de LeominsterDoris is still trying to help by taking potshots from the shelter of the butter market Wrench spots Sizzler Fry scurrying across the square towards the corner of the Old Town – surely Smallbottom can deal with this? Apparently not – Fry is in position
Fry prepares to aid Dan who is still battling against increasing odds But it is not to be – ever cool in a crisis, Wrench eliminates the threat Simultaneously, Dan is also overwhelmed Doris escapes and joins the faint hearts who evaded the fight and they make their way back to Ambridge. Dan, Tom Forrest, Sizzler Fry and young Phil are all taken into custody – all the leading lights of the Archer gang have now been taken care of. Sir Rufus and his victorious associates hasten to give Smallbottom the good news
And so the local threat to established order and stability in Borsetshire has been neutralised and Sir Rufus can turn his attention to the existential threat from outside the county…..
After the dreadful assault and gumiliation of Constable Smallbottom and the associated insult and threat it implied against the established law and order, Sir Rufus-Pitt Bulstrode made arrangements to bring the malefactors to book. His dispositions are detailed in a previous post, “Dark Days in Borsetshire”.
Before leading her warriors to battle, Lady Ferocity announced that she was changing the name of the group. She didn’t like the title “Distaff Team”, partly because it was Sir Rufus’ selection and partly because she felt it slightly demeaning. “Henceforth”, she pronounced to loud cheers, “we are The Monstrous Regiment of Women.”
Lady Pitt-Bulstrode announces the change of name to her assembled followers. Photo taken moments before the hearty cheering
The Monstrous Regiment (from now on “MRW”) are in position early, north of Waterley Cross. Persistence Pitt-Bulstrode takes up position on her motorbike ahead of the main group to get early warning of the approach of Jack Archer and his mob.
She doesn’t have long to wait before the distinctive Archer van appears and turns off onto a track leading to an old shack. She’s seen enough and races back to report the arrival to Lady Ferocity.
If she’d waited a little longer, she’d have seen Silas Grundy emerge from the shack with some curious companions. Whist his two Detroit colleagues, concealing their astonishment admirably, make the acquaintance of Silas and his helpers, Jack Archer is watching the road and sees Persistence disappear in the opposite direction. Recognising her bike, he correctly assumed that there is opposition nearby.
Both sides are aware of each other and make their plans.
MRW Objectives. They haven’t prevented Jack Archer gaining reinforcements but their main task is to stop him joining up with Dan Archer in his attack on Much Rampling. To do this, they must secure the crossroads where the B999 to Much Rampling crosses the main Ambridge to Waterley Cross road. As a bonus, if they can eliminate Jack’s group quickly, they could take advantage of the B road themselves and reinforce Sir Rufus.
Jack Archer’s Objectives. First, he needed to meet Silas Grundy and add him and his creatures to the group. This he has done. Second, he plans on joining Dan, via the B999. He has to move quickly to get there in time and he now expects opposition.
It looks like the crossroads will be everyone’s objective. Anyone hoping to have an influence on the action at Much Rampling needs to access the crossroads in a vehicle by the end of the 6th turn.
The Fateful Field – MRW start in the green rectangle. Jack Archer and cronies in the yellow circle. Tge red road is the main Ambridge to Waterley Cross road. The blue road is the B999. The direction to Much Rampling and the other action is bottom left. The all-important crossroads is where the two roads cross 😂
Both sides move into action. The MRW march purposefully up the road with the intention of spreading out to left and right nearer the crossroads. Lady Ferocity leads from the front, flanked by her secretary, Audacity Bunty-Thimble
Meanwhile, Jack Archer has struck out across country to the right of the road with his two Detroit colleagues. He tells Silas to get his scarecrows to the crossroads and keep the opposition busy. One of the scarecrows has an issue with some barbed wire and falls behind.
Lurching stumbling and discarding whisps of straw, the scarecrows, urged on by Silas, approach the crossroads. It has to said, the road surfaces in Borsetshire leave something to be desired.
They are spotted by the MRW. Lady F and Miss Bunty-Thimble open fire, although what effect this will have on scarecrows, they’re not sure of. As it happens, it knocks one over. Taking advantage of the covering fire, Persistence, Miss Ping and Anticipation move into the field to the right – a tactical manoeuvre….!
Ladies Recreation and Reality slide off to the left and we are really hitting our tactical straps with this attempt at a double flank envelopment.
There’s a couple of things must be said about the above photo. First, I’d laid the hedges on their side for some reason and forgot to stand them up again; just ignore them. Second, I have to mention the Belonna/Bellona? walls. I got these in about 1970 and recently found them again. They need repainting and general tarting up. I apologise for their current condition.
A second scarecrow lurches forward and almost contacts Audacity before being brought down in a hail of MRW fire. Bitch, the Doberman bitch, attacks the last scarecrow – it’s a maelstrom of fur and straw…!
Recreation and Reality reach the critical road to Much Rampling. Two things occur to them simultaneously. First, Jack Archer and his Detroit friends are approaching them. Second, they (Recreation and Reality) are not particularly good at fighting. An overviewNature red in tooth and straw – this could go either way
Mayhem….! (I do like that word). Bitch is Down; Scarecrow three is Down; Temerity Ping is Down. But are they Down as in “get the Pearly Gates Open” Down? Or are they Down as in “I don’t feel brilliant so I’ll have a little rest” Down? Agonisingly, we don’t yet know. On a positive note for the MRW, Persistence has scooted over from the right flank and is checking over Bitch.
Meanwhile, on the left, Reality is Down (resting or the unthinkable?) and Recreation has wisely taken cover behind the comforting stone buttresses of the church. Jack Archer, Loquacious Lovelace and Miranda Hazebutt have arrived and they mean business.
Meanwhile, in the centre, it’s a knock ‘em down and drag ‘em out free-for-all. Scarecrow three is Up; Bitch is Up but Temerity is….well, not there . Silas and Persistence have joined in for a real Götterdämmerung in the centre.
Back on the left, Reality is technically Up but has sensibly stayed down (not Down). Jack, Loquacious and Miranda are hunting Recreation round the church.
Back to the centre again (this is exhausting) and Persistence takes out Scarecrow 3 with a pistol shot to the head?. If only it’d been hand-to-hand and I could have said she delivered a punishing haymaker to the straw man. Bitch, Lady Ferocity and Audacity pile onto Silas.
Oh – what happened there? It seems the MRW in the centre have cleaned up their opposition and have switched their attention to the developing crisis on the left.
Well Recreation has managed to stay hidden as Jack and Miranda circle round the church having cunningly split up. But where is Loquacious? And what happened to Reality?
Ahh-ha….! Thats what happened to Reality. While Jack and his friends hunted Recreation, she nipped through the gap in the hedge where the footpath led and escaped. She also has Ladies Anticipation (red beret) and Acceptance (purple dress) moving up in support.
Loquacious is ready to take on Lady Ferocity’s group but is distracted by a ferocious attack from Bitch. She Downs the dog but behind her, Jack is felled by a shot from Anticipation.
Jack is Up again and decides to join Loquacious in her unequal fight against Lady F’s group.
Overwhelming firepower proves too much and Jack is Down……
…….slotted by a long range shot from Anticipation. Seeing this, Loquacious and Miranda realise the game is up and surrender. Jack and Silas are wounded and also captured. Temerity and Bitch eventually respond to treatment. The MRW have prevented Jack from interfering with the fight at Much Rampling and have him in custody but have themselves been prevented from helping Sir Rufus at Much Rampling. Will he have prevailed….?
The View From the Hill 