ulitave

Years and years ago, I bought this wine rack. I'd seen the rack sitting outside of a local coffee shop against the wall and I downright coveted the thing. It was 6 feet tall, wrought iron, and held about 75 bottles. I knew the owner, so I asked what was up with the wine rack. Bunny told me the rack was too large for her restaurant and they couldn't really use it. I asked if I could buy it off of her. She told me she'd have to consult with her partner, but she didn't see why not.

I went home and talked this over with 2nd Ex. We agreed on a price range - I'd start the bidding at $100 and stop at $200. We might not get the rack for under $200, but our finances couldn't handle anything higher. I went back the next day and asked Bunny if she'd had a chance to talk about the sale. "Oh yeah", she said. "We can't let it go for less than $35."

0_o

Seeing the look of utter shock on my face, she quickly followed up with, "but no more than $50."

I remember the sensation of conscious control of each individual facial muscle. "Whatever you think is fair," I replied. We agreed on $45 and I still have the rack. The coffee shop went out of business. I don't think that was my fault.

So suddenly I had this massive wine rack and no way to fill the thing. I didn't know much about wine. I developed a simple set of rules for guys who have to buy wine but don't know jack about wine. These rules don't guarantee that I get a great bottle every time. They will also exclude a number of fine wines. These rules were developed to make sure I didn't buy any crap.

1. Good wine comes in a regular size and shaped wine bottle, made of glass. Good wine does not come in a box, and it definitely doesn't come in a gallon jug.
2. Good wine has a cork, made of cork.
3. Anything advertised on television,radio, or in a popular magazine should not be bought.
4. Good wine does not go on sale. Ever. (unpopular wines get discounted. If a popular wine is discounted, it may be due to improper storage - tip from a liquor store guy.)
5. Wine lables should be simple and understated. Line drawing of the winery are acceptable. Italian wines are the exception to this rule.
6. just FYI - White Zinfindel is made by sqeezing puppies until they cry, then collecting their tears in bottles.
7. Expensive does not necessarily equal better quality, except in champagne, where it pretty much does. Same for house paint.

I fully admit Vince Young's knee was down. We'll keep the points. Now if we can plug up the middle of our defense...

TEXAS FIGHT!

I actually gave myself an asthma attack from yelling at the TV. And yelling out the front door. We won. TEXAS WON. We beat USC on their own turf, with half our defense down due to some mysterious cramps and one guy breaking his arm during the game. TEXAS WON. We beat the team no one thought we could beat. That may have been the best game of football I've ever witnessed.

In other news, the Bionic Sis turned 29 today. Happy Birthday Sis!