![](\"https:\/\/l-stat.livejournal.net\/img\/userinfo_v8.png?v=17080&v=916.1\")
<\/a>ethrosdemon<\/b><\/a><\/span> \/ Kassie and my heart broke into a thousand pieces.For those of you who don't know, about 8 years ago, Kassie wrote an epic in the bandom arena - Bandpires. It set the bar of everything I'd ever want to read ever again. And not just that, her musings were always insightful, amusing and dead on. She is another LJ friend I have lost and it hurts. It really hurts.
I am going to miss her.
If you want to read her stuff - head over to my memories for the tag - I want to live forever."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:100667","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/100667.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=100667"}}],"title":"Connections","published":"2016-09-07T01:43:48Z","updated":"2016-09-07T01:43:48Z","content":"So, after my little self indulgent existential crisis last night, I woke up feeling better. Despite this weird muscle spasm that has taken hold of my right shoulder and neck, but that's being medicated and massaged into submission.
Anyway, I am feeling better. Not hundreds, but still, not as low.
But then, I get a voice message from my best friend and he wasn't in any better shape than I was. We're half a world away from eachother and it's really highlighting how much we need eachother in our lives. I wish I had the cash to buy him a plane ticket to come visit me, but I had to pay tuition so I'm broke AF (I blame Buzzfeed for the use of AF in my life).
I also saw the news that Hiddleswift is over. I'm kinda happy about it and a little smug about it as I had a feeling it would implode. Although based on the news, the Swift PR camp is earning their money and making Tom the bad guy. This makes me upset. And it also makes me realise I am far too invested in other peoples lives when my own needs some serious TLC.
Which starts with joining a Zumba class."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:100373","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/100373.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=100373"}}],"title":"older","published":"2016-09-06T12:48:44Z","updated":"2016-09-06T12:48:44Z","content":"I turned 32 yesterday.
According to science, I only have 12% of my eggs left. And those that are left will be less than perfect.
This saddens me.
I turned 32 yesterday.
And after 3 years, I am still alone.
I'm okay with being alone in general, but I find my moments of Bridget Jonesing happen more and more often.
I turned 32 yesterday.
I was accused of being bitter. I prefer the term - realist. I know what I look like to the world, and I know I am not an eligible young sprite. I have seen wars. I have lived through a lot. My body shows it. My body feels it.
I turned 32 yesterday.
My mind is a whirl with a thousand different thoughts that not even meditation can calm and quell.
I turned 32 yesterday.
The world should be my oyster yet I am not gulping it down. I am not going out and living it. I don't see the point really. Everyone says go on adventures, but I turn down invitations. I turn away from gatherings. Because I know I shall not enjoy them. I know the kind of people I'll meet.
I turned 32 yesterday.
And I am bored out of my mind."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:100119","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/100119.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=100119"}}],"title":"R Words","published":"2016-08-02T04:11:42Z","updated":"2016-08-02T04:11:42Z","content":"First R word: Rape
Now, if you've read my fics, you know I like to keep them light and funny with a touch of darkness. But never, have I ever written something with the purpose of triggering things in people. And apparently that's what happened when I received this comment from a reader on AO3:
\"She rapes him. Various times. Deceives him to have sex with her pretending she's someone else, stalks him to the coffee shop and his house, then has the n.e.r.v.e to call him a bully and still gets a happy ending? Wow.\"
Now, here is the link for the fic: http:\/\/archiveofourown.org\/works\/1028143<\/a>
I need a little help responding to her as I don't want her comments to go unacknowledged, but I also don't want a shitstorm in the comment section.
2nd R word: Retail Therapy.
I have been forced to buy clothes off the internet because I outsize the average Thai person by a lot - I'm not obese, just buxom. (UK size 14\/16)
And because I haven't bought any clothes in two years, I needed some new items. The first was a new bra or two. Now thats an exercise in depressing me. I have a big size that is super expensive - Never spent so much time just searching for a bra that wouldn't bankrupt me.
Then there were the shoes I had to get as its frowned upon for teachers to wear trainers to school.
And then there's the shirt situation.
Urgh.
I'm gonna need therapy for all this shopping."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:99941","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/99941.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=99941"}}],"title":"Just Say No..","published":"2016-07-02T07:03:47Z","updated":"2016-07-02T07:03:47Z","content":"While other people out there are saying yes to everything, I need to start to say no.
I offered to help a friend out by covering a class this afternoon. I was keen to do it. The money didn't hurt either.
But my body decided to make life difficult for me - or it may have been that 7\/11 tuna sandwich I devoured after the show last night.
Anyway, I have been sick the whole morning. I texted the woman with the job as soon as I could to let her know I couldn't come in. I sent word out amongst the teacher community about the job to find a replacement.
Nothing.
And now my friend is super pissed at me for flaking on him.
And now I'm annoyed at myself for being forced into feeling like shit.
And the thing is, I love to help out. I really, really do. I will bend over backwards to help you with anything you ask. I will give you the shirt off my back. And it has bitten me in the ass a few times.
So, I think for the sake of my sanity, I will no longer offer to do anything or help anyone ever again.
They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I never really got it until now. Well, no more. Seriously. No More."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:99710","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/99710.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=99710"}}],"title":"Debut!","published":"2016-05-24T03:50:30Z","updated":"2016-05-24T03:50:30Z","content":"So, I found some acting companies here in Bangkok.
In April, I did a production of Up Pompeii with BCT - amateur bawdiness - It was awesome.
And now, I am doing a proper, professional production with Culture Collective.
Deathtrap by Ira Levin
It has been one of the most interesting experiences of my life. I'm learning to act in a whole new way now, and the pressure to perform is on.
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/ic.pics.livejournal.com\/tygermine\/13598264\/8584\/8584_300.png\" "\\"\\"")
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:99429","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/99429.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=99429"}}],"title":"Brain Failure","published":"2016-03-22T04:36:55Z","updated":"2016-03-22T04:36:55Z","content":"Oh dear, my brain has turned into a sieve.I forgot about an important meeting yesterday and I realised I signed up for a fest and now i can't remember why or what my prompt was.
I think its because the past month has been a rollercoaster. End of school pressure, then my mate moving in with me for the month and my week long break to a tropical beach where I read a dozen books.
That's why...isn't it?
I'm on holiday until May. Oh dear."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:99140","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/99140.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=99140"}}],"title":"Here we go again...","published":"2016-01-27T06:10:43Z","updated":"2016-01-27T06:10:43Z","content":"So, you guys recall that woman I worked for in Mozambique who went out of her way to make my life hell for the 18 months I was there?
Remember how the stress of that as well as losing my fiance resulted in me having PTSD?
And then I moved to Bangkok to try a new thing in my life with less stress?
Yeah, well, my new job that I was really enjoying at my new school has managed to become awful because my co-ordinator \/ direct supervisor is a cloned copy of my previous boss.
I get palpitations every time I see a message from her or sit in a meeting with her. I panic about the smallest things because I can't seem to do them exactly as she wants because my kids haven't been trained like hers.
And she doesn't have a sense of humour.
Now, my last strategy was to be employee of the month. I am changing that to be the invisible employee of the month.
And i'm going to ask for a transfer to the high school section. It was recommended to me by another teacher who says its far less work than primary and no bitch supervisor, AND drama department needs a supervising teacher.
I'm tired of having women like that in my life. I can't handle the anxiety, especially when I can't afford to medicate it.
So I'm on a mental health day today and will return to school tomorrow with a can do attitude and smile. Just not today. Today I may make small children cry."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:98854","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/98854.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=98854"}}],"title":"Hiatus","published":"2016-01-03T10:46:42Z","updated":"2016-01-03T10:46:42Z","content":"Hello one and all,
Just a PSA - I am the slowest writer on the planet generally but recently my well has run dry.
Why?
Because I like writing stories about people falling in love. The problem is, it happened so long ago and was overcast by such a tragedy, that I can't remember what its like. I can read all the stories out there, but my very own visceral experience has been erased. And without it, I am shooting blanks.
Sorry."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:98774","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/98774.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=98774"}}],"title":"Auld Lang...zzzzzz","published":"2015-12-31T07:57:18Z","updated":"2015-12-31T07:57:18Z","content":"I currently have a man sleeping in my bed.
Not like that you sewer thinkers...
We worked together about ten years ago and earlier this year, he texted me on facebook asking about Thailand. I told him the truth about the madness of expat life. He sold up everything and landed at Bangkok airport at 00:30am. We left the airport at 5:30am. Finally crashed at 7:30am.
I'm exhausted. And I can't sleep anymore. its now 3pm and I need to get another power nap in so I can at least see in the new year.
I have plans. Not external big plans. Just small ones, for myself.
Mostly - Self Discipline.
If I can have more of that in my life, then I should make 2016 an amazing year.
I hope the coming year will be your bitch, my friends."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:98525","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/98525.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=98525"}}],"title":"Xmas","published":"2015-12-11T08:38:14Z","updated":"2015-12-11T08:38:14Z","content":"so xmas is upon us...not that you'd know that from where i'm living. Xmas isn't really a thing to the buddists of thailand.
Thing is, I love xmas. i love the romance, the possibility, the cold weather, which in all honesty i've only had two of in my life. Is it the cold weather that makes xmas all it is?
I guess when you spend xmas on a beach, little else matters in life.
So, here's my xmas list:
Dear Santa,
All I want for xmas is y two front teeth...
Not really...
All I want for xmas is someone.
Thats all.
Someone to give a shit about me. Family excluded, of course. and friends.
Can I have someone for my own. Someone who thinks I'm amazing? someone to surprise me on xmas day with hot sex and a good brekkie?
i imagine a farm, one day, when i'm older. Its huge and the vines and hops are chilling and I have a big house and a huge tree and we're all hanging out. I'll be cooking all weekend, because I love it. Boozey cocktails and listening to my alternative xmas songs all the time.
I want my four kids and their kids running around. Everyone laughing.
But how do you start that? Find that right person...
Who is that right person??? If you're out there, please, please find me."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:98299","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/98299.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=98299"}}],"title":"Its beginning to look a lot like...","published":"2015-12-01T14:34:55Z","updated":"2015-12-01T14:34:55Z","content":"Wow, so November happened to me and happened in so many ways.
I got a job. A pretty good one. Not fabulously paid but better everything. Unfortunately, I still spent November in a state of borderline poverty. And that was when I had to:
1) buy new battery for scooter
2) buy new tyre for scooter
3) replace scooter oil
4) live on nothing.
My usual route of extra cash dried up as the kid was busy with school stuff and the other kid was drowning in homework so I had to swallow my pride and ask for help.
And wow - people are amazing. I made it through the month, got paid. Paid 50% f my back owed rent plus a full month so I won't be homeless and got money put aside for a new laptop as this one can't go unplugged and randomly shuts down due to power issues.
So essentially, November has been a rollercoaster. Emotionally most of all.
Highlights include going to the St Andrews Bangkok Society Ball (big deal) where a guy who is the MD of a HUGE PR firm asked for my resume. I sent it. He responded that he wanted it for when something comes along - so...not bated breath, but budding daydreams.
My kids are awesome. My class is full of these amazing personalities and I've had to figure out five different ways to explain ones and tens to a certain little girl - making me realise I have no business teaching first grade maths.
My sister surprised me with a last minute visit this past weekend which was awesome, but i'm still recovering.
The next 23 days are going to be like living in a Marvel movie - full fucking tilt. and then I shall head to Koh Samet for xmas on the beach. If only to catch my breath.
thats it. I need to take a long, deep breath.
I don't know when I'll post again, possibly in the next month.
Y'all have a brilliant holiday season and I hope Santa spoils you rotten."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:97936","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/97936.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=97936"}}],"title":"Update","published":"2015-10-03T15:11:41Z","updated":"2015-10-03T15:12:36Z","content":"So...I am on the last few scenes of my reel_merlin fic. I shall send it in by midnight or something. My dramione_duet needs so much work. I have to reset it as I'm questioning why I set it in Vienna....
So, I'm officially a student and I'm loving it. Downside, I lost my job because of it, so i'm hustling on the job hunt.
I also woke up this morning and decided I was sick of my longish hair, so I cut it. Myself. In my bathroom. Its not great but its working for me.
I'm rewatching Sleepy Hollow. I'm not sure why. The fall season has some awesome new shows that are rocking my world. BUT, the stand out this year has to be KILLJOYS. what an awesome show.
I need to write a MCR reunion fic. Cos I miss them. And Bandom has died a swift death around here.
So, the motorbike accident I had a month ago has come back to haunt me. My right knee does this funny thing that if i touch under my knee cap, it burns on the right side of my calf. I'll go doctor it when I have time and money.
What's happening with you ladies out there???
Also, is it weird that I have better orgasms with my showerhead than normal sex???"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:97692","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/97692.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=97692"}}],"title":"Bangkok Happened...","published":"2015-09-07T13:58:08Z","updated":"2015-09-07T13:58:08Z","content":"Please please don't ask me how my Reel_Merlin is going. I had 12 pages, read it and decided it was shit, so three days from the deadline I'm starting from scratch.
I would have had it done sooner, but things have been happening.
1) Border visa visits to Laos (two days of my life wasted - I would not reccommend Laos to anyone.)
2) University - I am now officially a student!!! I start classes in October!
3) School.
Let me tell you a secret about the Thai school system, which is a reflection of the Thai culture - THEY DO NOT ENCOURAGE INDEPENDENT THOUGHT!
The entire country is a mother state where citizens are told - don't worry - the King or Military government will do all your thinking for you. And that's how you breed a state of beaureucrats. Seriously. My school director is all about the written lesson plans and such. then I'm spending too many lesson teachign them how ot talk, then too few, then I'm ahead of the other teachers, then I'm behind. ARGH!!
AND, AND, in one class - I have 7 - count them -7 psychopaths. One kid stabbed another with a pencil in the arm. I saw him spontaneously punch another kids the day before for no reason! And no actions were taken. Because in Thailand they do not punish \/ discipline their kids.
It is emotionally draining, to say the least.
Mostly because these are all spoiled Bangkok kids who are raised by Phillipino nannies.
My mate is currently squatting on my floor until she finds a place to stay.
This past weekend was my birthday - I had a few friends at a pool party hosted by a gay club entertainment group - cos they throw the best parties. Got spoilt rotten with free champers until the Fuzz shut the party down for sound level violations. It was a good night.
Next weekend, I'm pulling a Cinderella and attending a proper ball hosted by the South African Embassy. I need to go borrow a ball gown late this week from a new friend I made. I hope it'll be awesome. I even found glow in the dark nailpolish!!!!
Right..off to work on the fic..."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:97280","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/97280.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=97280"}}],"title":"Procrastination 101","published":"2015-08-06T10:52:35Z","updated":"2015-08-06T10:52:35Z","content":"Things I Should Be Doing:
Completing 4 Reader tests for my kids (Due last Monday)
Paying my bills (Due yesterday)
Finishing my Reel Merlin fic (Due - soonish)
Finishing my Dramione Duets fic (Due - soonish)
Things I Am Doing:
Listening to Pandora
Trawling AO3 for inspirational fics
Waiting for my laundry to finish so I can hang it up to dry.
Waiting for 7:30pm to do an online tutor session
My sister and her fiance are here until Saturday and while I love seeing them, the timing always sucks cos I'm working and I have adult responsibilities to take care of and I'm always always tired.
PLUS I am short on cash due to visas so I can't really take them out.
BUT I have two new students to pick up once this current contract is done, so that saves me some hassle in the finances department.
Anyone on Bangkok time to kick my ass into gear???"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:97143","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/97143.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=97143"}}],"title":"tygermine @ 2015-07-10T19:19:00","published":"2015-07-10T12:19:43Z","updated":"2015-07-10T12:19:43Z","content":"I have cancelled my weekly extra corporate gig because it was killing me.
I now only teach for two hours per day on the weekends, which is comfortable - except for the part where i spend an hour on my scooter either way weaving through Bangkok traffic.
This gives me more time to hang out in my apartment and discover things about myself.
A List:
1) I am actually a pretty good cook.
2) When I sit at my desk without a bra, I can rest my boobs on the desk top. This leads to my back feeling unbelieveable amounts of relief.
3) I like the new shows that have come out eg Scream, Stitchers, Killjoys etc
4) I have successfully applied to do my degree and shall be studenting shortly.
5) My Dramione Duet is about 500 words in. My Reel_Merlin is 8000 words in and I've only hit one plot point so far. gaaaahhhhh
6) I rediscovered my love for Asterix comics.
7) My new spirit animal is Miranda Hart
8) I am definitely suffering from PTSD from the events of 2013-2014.
9) Hanging out naked in my apartment is not just a luxury, its a nessecity.
10) Doing yoga in my apartment turns into Bikram yoga with a lot of gross sweaty slipping.
11) There are no good yoga videos on youtube. Every single one of those yogis are as dry as a bowl of the granola they eat - without the nice raisins to make it fun. WHERE ARE THE FUN, JOKEY YOGIS?????
12) Y'all are Jon Snow when it comes to the heat. I live in a permanent summer. Haven't worn a sweater in nearly a year. And I love it!
And yes - I'm still here."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:96844","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/96844.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=96844"}}],"title":"Unsupervised Adulting","published":"2015-06-13T05:18:55Z","updated":"2015-06-13T05:18:55Z","content":"Just when I thought I had got myself on track and was getting ahead with this being an adult thing, I do something so stupid.
I put in a day's leave from work to go to the embassy and my uni to get some red tape handled.
The night before, I end up at Pattys enjoying their buy1get1 cocktail special. Next thing I know, I'm meeting up with a guy, buying late night pastrami sandwiches and heading to mine for some action. (That was awkward).
The next morning I'm so hungover I can't move. I sleep for most of the day.
Now, It's Saturday. I woke up early and had a feeling I had to be somewhere. Around lunchtime I remembered I had a tutor class! I quickly rescheduled for tomorrow.
I should just never leave my apartment. I should also stop going to Pattys."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:96555","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/96555.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=96555"}}],"title":"Work It!","published":"2015-03-01T13:58:38Z","updated":"2015-03-01T13:58:38Z","content":"So, the end of my first semester here in Thailand has come to an end. But not my time here. The school has decided not to renew my contract and in a way, I'm relieved. It was rather stifling.
So, I am now a freelance english tutor and have a really good corporate contract for the next 15 weeks. In order to prep the classes (because this is something you can't wing - I've tried) I spent my morning getting a CISS added to my printer so I can print out the material.
Its now 9pm and I'm still printing stuff.
And I signed up for reel_merlin - oh my god! Can I do this??? Its been a long hiatus from writing.
Anyway, my mom is flying out in April and we will be spending Songkran fest in Phuket (I will send pics). Its exciting, but I need to budget so carefully as I have to start paying uni tuition too. And I have to buy a motor bike as transport here is expensive. And slow. And unreliable.
Right. So, that's my update from hot and humid Bangkok."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:96286","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/96286.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=96286"}}],"title":"Silver Linings","published":"2015-01-08T15:02:36Z","updated":"2015-01-08T15:02:36Z","content":"Guys. GUYS!
You know how people always say trust the universe, ask and it will provide. What they often forget is that the universe needs you to do the legwork.
Up to this afternoon, I was close to a melt down. Stressed beyond healthy.
I have so much to get set and planned.
Student visa, but for a student visa I need to be a student so I need tuition money. My school will be closed over March and April for major holidays - I won't be getting paid, so I need to cover rent and food as well.
I needed extra work and I needed it urgently.
I placed a few ads and today things came together. My one tutor student wants 6 hours a week - Tuition covered!
I have my regular Sunday School session - food covered
I have 2 new potential students - rent covered - possibly with savings.
So, in exchange for having a somewhat stable income stream, I will have no free time. Its a small price to pay until my new contract.
Oh and I'm looking for a new condo closer to town. Going to view them tomorrow and Sunday. Can't wait!
Now I just need to get laid. or have an awesome massage. Either one will do."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:96070","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/96070.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=96070"}}],"title":"2015","published":"2014-12-31T14:54:42Z","updated":"2014-12-31T14:54:42Z","content":"As I type this, I realise that is truly the first time I have ever spent a NYE alone.
Not that I didn't have options for social frivolity, but I chose this solo en devour. And I'm in two minds now that I made my choice.
I would have loved to have been surrounded by people, having a good time, celebrating a new year and all that. But two reasons sent me to the alone part.
1) My salary was dismal
2) I would have spent the evening with thousands of other people - none of whom I really like.
My chances of a NYE kiss are the same whether I'm home or out, and home has cheaper booze and a toilet that I trust.
This whole year has been mental. I started it out with ideas and plans and dreams and by June, everything had changed.
I love change.
And yet now- I don't want as much change as I did.
I have only two resolutions for this year.
1) Be a brilliant teacher
2) Learn to play my uke.
The rest - the personal growth, the dreams, the ambitions - I have them, but I've learnt that putting a time line on these things will just cause undue stress and possibly the world ending.
And I am truly scared. I have no idea what comes next. Usually its liberating, but at the moment, it's scary as hell. I really have no idea what to do.
This is based on my revelation that I had - I'm all for feminism and such but the past week made me realise that I don't actually want a job.
I want a family. I want a veggie garden. I want a big kitchen. I want laughter and hugs and crayons on the walls. I want PTA meetings and school plays and holidays with stupid traditions. I want everything I shouldn't dream of asking for.
I always wanted it. I just never thought it was appropriate under my circumstances.
Happy New Year people.
Let's make 2015 our bitch."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:95797","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/95797.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=95797"}}],"title":"Another Meme - cos I'm procrastinating","published":"2014-12-28T05:36:04Z","updated":"2014-12-28T05:36:04Z","content":"taken from
<\/a>bunney<\/b><\/a><\/span> to do whilst I listen to the Good Omens radio play and put off doing lesson plans.***********FOOD-OLOGY**********
What is your salad dressing of choice? Balsamic
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? My old local pub - The Keg
What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of? Grilled Cheese
What are your pizza toppings of choice? Chicken, shrooms and extra cheese
What do you like to put on your toast? Butter and marmite
***********TECHNOLOGY***********
How many television sets are in your house? 1
What color cell phone do you have? Blue Samsung Galaxy S3
**********BIOLOGY***************
Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right-handed
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? tonsils, wisdom teeth
What is the last heavy item you lifted? my laptop
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Nope. I have a thick skull.
**********BULLCRAPOLOGY*********
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Yes.
If you could change your name, what would you change it to? My name is unique, so i'm gonna keep it.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Nope.
***********DUMBOLOGY************
How many pairs of flip flops do you own? one
Last time you had a run-in with the cops? ummmm...uhhh...
Last person you talked to? my sister
Last person you hugged? i was hugged by my class of 6 year olds...
**********FAVORITOLOGY***********
Season? Summer
Holiday? Xmas
Day of the week? Saturday
Month? September
***********CURRENTOLOGY**********
Missing someone? no.
Mood? okay
What are you listening to? Good Omens radio play
Watching? my spelling
Worrying about? making 50 baht stretch to pay day. saving enough cash for uni and student visa.
***********RANDOMOLOGY***********
First place you went to this morning? the bathroom
What's the last movie you saw? The Thin Man (1934)
Do you smile often? Not anymore
QUESTIONS
1) Do you always answer your phone? Nope.
2) It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it? spam from network
3) If you could change your eye color what would it be? brighter green
4) What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? Not sure what Sonic is.
5) Do you own a digital camera? nope
6) Have you ever had a pet fish? nope
7) Favorite Christmas song? Santa Baby
8) What's on your wish list for your birthday? Boobjob
9) Can you do push ups? yes. just not many.
10) Can you do a chin up? i haven't tried.
11) Does the future make you more nervous or excited? Nervous - I have no idea what's coming.
12) Do you have any saved texts? no.
13) Ever been in a car wreck? nope.
14) Do you have an accent? yeah - british with a few south africanisms thrown in.
15) What is the last song to make you cry? can't recall
16) Plans tonight? pretty much the same as what i'm doing now.
17) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? A few times
18) Name 3 things you bought in the last week: coffee, drinking water, cigs.
19) Have you ever been given roses? yes.
20) Current worry? money and lack thereof.
21) Current hate right now? Bangkok. and being broke.
22) Met someone who changed your life? Yes and then he died.
23) How did you bring in the New Year? 2014 - wine and family. 2015 - wine and strangers.
24) What song represents you? All by myself by Celine Dion (at least for now)
25) Name three people who might complete this? No one reads my journal anymore
26) What were you doing 12 AM last night? attempting to sleep.
27) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? waking up alone again."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:95592","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/95592.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=95592"}}],"title":"Update - I'm still alive","published":"2014-12-21T02:50:22Z","updated":"2014-12-21T02:50:22Z","content":"So, Bangkok has been keeping me busy. Mostly with work.
My kids are equal parts amazing and assholes. I will be spending my xmas break doing lesson plans for the second half of the semester - fun.
I'm also doing TESOL tutoring online, so goodbye free time.
Thailand, being mostly Buddist, doesn't celebrate xmas except on a purely commercial level. All the malls are done up and to be honest, it looks amazing.
I have been reading a lot, mostly about the dark ages - I've rekindled my love for history.
I have read - An Utterly Impartial History of Britian<\/a>
Keith Ramsbottom<\/a>
and - 1000 years of Annoying the French<\/a>
All three are hilarious historical insights.
I also joined an expat wine club, so, I'm peopling once a week. Which is good.
I had to pop over to Cambodia yesterday for a visa renewal. It's green. That's about it.
I plan to do more touristy things next year, when I have cash. Which is still pretty tight.
Merry xmas you lot. Hope its a good one."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:tygermine:95411","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/95411.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/tygermine.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=95411"}}],"title":"Meme","published":"2014-12-21T02:27:40Z","updated":"2014-12-21T02:27:40Z","content":"Borrowed from
<\/a>mizzy2k<\/b><\/a><\/span>Give me a show\/fandom and I'll answer -
Top 5 favourite characters:
Other characters you like:
Least favourite character:
Otps:
Notps:
Favourite friendship:
Favourite family:
Favourite episode:
Favourite season\/book\/movie:
Favourite quote:
Moment that made you fangirl\/boy the hardest:
When it really disappointed you:
Saddest moment:
Most well done character death:
Favourite guest star:
Favourite cast member:
Character you wish was still alive:
One thing you hope really happens:
Most shocking twist:
When did you start watching\/reading:
Trope you wish they would stop using:
One thing this show\/book\/film does better than others:
Funniest moments:
Couple you would like to see:
Actor\/Actress you want to join the cast:
Most boring plotline:
Best flashback\/flashfoward if any:
Most layered character:
Scariest moment:
Grossest moment:
Best looking male:
Best looking female:
Who you\u2019re crushing on (if any):
Most beautiful scene (scenery\/shot wise):
Unanswered question\/continuity issue\/plot error that bugs you:
At what point did you fall in love with this show\/book:"}]}