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I would have been 30 weeks pregnant by now :( I know it was for the best, and it was in God's hands but it still hurts at times. I now have the Mirana IUD, so I can not have babies for 5 years, and I think thats for the best. That will give my babies time to be babies, and if I decide to have another by then, I think that will be good timing.

Kylee has an appointment with the pediatric Urologist in November. She is still struggling with incontinence.(sp?) It isn't so frustrating since I have stopped making it an issue, I know she can't help it, so she simply changes herself throughout the day, usually just once and she wears a pull up at night so I'm not washing sheets and blankets every night anymore. She's doing well in Kindergarten, her first report card was really good!

Layla is potty trained 100%, throughout the night as well. She is staying home with me this year, and I am glad I made that decision. She will go to preschool next year and Kindergarten the following. She's so smart!

Nevaeh is talking up a storm, and even using sentences. She constantly asks me what I'm doing, it's so cute and so is she!!

Other than that life is going well, Heath's working alot but we're getting along great.

Chow!

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Figures, when I finally start updating semi regularly the cord to my laptop gets broken and I have to wait for a new one to be mailed! haha... That is just my luck. Anyways, we had Kylee's Birthday party on Sunday.. she got a lot of nice things (a new bike, doll house, tons of clothes and books) I seriously can not believe she is 5 years old. It has been 5 years since I became a Mommy :) Doesn't seem right!

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Well it went pleasantly well today. The girls were super excited to see him. He showed up while Layla was napping, so he woke her up and she had a huge grin on her face. He walked down with us to get Kylee off the bus. She didn't realize it was him for a minute, but quickly realized and jumped into his arms. It was sweet. So he stayed and played with them for a couple of hours, and it supposed to take them swimming on saturday. I didn't talk to him much, but like I said before.. he's like a stranger and it's totally awkward. Anyways, wasn't as traumatic as I had anticipated. Heath was a little pissy about him being here when he got off work, because he seems to think that since Mike doesn't pay child support that I shouldn't let him see the girls. That doesn't fly with me.. I had to explain that I will never keep the girls from their Dad. As long as they want to see him anyways.. if that ever changes it will be a different story.

Can you believe Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett died in the same day? Bizarre!

Off to chill out for a while before I have to be at work. :)

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I hate waking up with a headache! Anyways, todays the big day for the girls. They don't know that Mike will be here this afternoon. He is supposed to be here to get Kylee off the bus. I've got mixed emotions about it. I don't hate him anymore, I just hate how he doesn't have anything to do with our kids. I haven't seen the guy in 2 years, so he is a stranger to me.. and I am kind of nervous. I want him to see how well the girls are taken care of and everything I've worked hard for so he can go home and kick himself for being such a loser.. haha. Oh well, we'll see how it goes.. I'm sure I will write about it.

This new kitten we have is driving me up a wall. First off, I normally don't like female cats. We were told it was a boy.. it's a calico, which means it is most definitely a girl. Her name is Mia, or Mi Mi as the girls call her. She is into everything! She's like having a baby. And for some reason, instead of liking cat food she bugs us for ours.. and she eats it! I mean anything.. chips, bread, you name it she will eat it. Ugh! I miss my Sammy boy so bad :(

I also don't think I mentioned in my update that were fostering an american bulldog. He is a friends dog, and she lost her home. He's the biggest baby, and the girls love him. I have to admit, I do too. He's so well behaved.. but he sheds more than any other dog I have ever seen. I have a plum colored couch, and he's white. So he's been confined to the kitchen and dining room because I am not ruining my couch with dog hair. Every day I sweep up a huge pile of dog hair, and it totally grosses me out! I am afraid Heath and the girls think we're keeping him for good, but I don't want to!

Kylee missed summer school yesterday. She woke me up at 5am and had almost completely lost her voice, and had a dry cough and fever. Not sure what was up with that, but she seemed better today and went to school. She has had a serious problem with peeing her pants for the past couple of months. It gets better, and then worse again. She says she just can't hold it. I've had her tested for a UTI, but that was negative. I've had her drinking nothing but water, milk and cranberry juice for the past week because she is wet every day when she gets home. My guess is that she's doing it on the way home on the bus, because I would think if she was doing it at school the teacher would let me know! It is getting very frustrating nonetheless, and I am definitely going to bring it up to her Dr at her 5 yr check up. I don't know if she's waiting until the last minute to go and can't make it, or if there is something wrong. We have begged her to stop, but she just won't. Something has to give before she starts Kindergarten, I know they will send her home and make her wait a year if she does it then. Part of me thinks it is something psychological. She also has had a really hard time with her cat being run over, which is understandable considering she watched the whole thing and it was not pretty. She now has nightmares, hates being in her bedroom because she says she sees Sammy (her cat) and she wants the bathroom light left on and makes me put a baby gate up so that the new kitten can't get into her room. She's been through so much in her short life, I'm hoping the Dr. can refer a counselor or something for her.. I think it may help.

Okay, sorry to ramble. I have to get going and get some stuff done now!

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Wow, am I actually posting an update? I think I am!! haha... SO anyways, I guess I should give the run down from the past few months since it has been that long since I've written.

Well, things with Heath and I were rocky for a while. I just hadn't been feeling like he is the person I was meant to be with. He started drinking heavily on the weekends, and that just added fuel to the fire for me. So back in March, I had starting sharing our problems with what at the time was a mutual friend of ours. I had no idea from the start that this guy had other intentions, and wanted me to leave Heath and be with him. So when I finally decided that he was pushing too hard, the guy flipped and became an obsessive weirdo. He kicked the side mirror off of my car, and started an ongoing fight with Heath.

Fast forward to Mother's Day. I realize that I am 2 weeks late for my period... and guess what? I'm pregnant.. I was devastated. I do not want more children, and can not believe I had been that irresponsible, AGAIN! I did not go in for my Depo shot, in plans to have a copper IUD placed, but missed my appointment. GAH!! Anyways, I had honestly debated having an abortion.. and that is so against my beliefs, I was just desperate I guess. Heath on the other hand was excited, and encouraging... promising the drinking would stop, and things would get better.. etc. etc. His Mom was excited, and told all of his family... I told no one, I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. So I went from that to total denial. I didn't want to talk about it, and pretty much just acted like it wasn't true. 2 weeks later while I was at work I felt like a peed my pants, when I looked down I couldn't believe the blood that was running down my legs... so I spent the next 2 days in the hospital, I should have been about 8 weeks pregnant, and was told that the baby had died at 6 weeks. Heath was a wreck, I was numb. Did my baby know that I didn't want him/her? Did I do something wrong? I would have loved that baby the same as my other 3... I just needed to let it sink in! Heath blamed me, in fact he almost left me at the hospital but finally realized that it was not my fault, and there was nothing I could have done. The Doctor explained that most times a miscarriage happens because there is something genetically wrong with baby. I opted to pass the baby at home instead of having a D&C...definitely the wrong choice.

The next week is a blur of me sleeping/crying, and basically shutting down. Having a miscarriage is a lot worse than I ever imagined. I always thought that if it was early on, it was just like having a period. Wrong, it is like giving birth... I was like the biggest weirdo ever, constantly in the bathroom drowning in tears every time I passed clots/tissue. Not to mention 3 days after returning home, Heath accidently runs over our family cat, Sammy. We have had him for over 2 years, and the girls watched it happen. It was the biggest mess I have ever seen and was like the hugest kick in the gut after what had already happened that week. 2 days later we got the girls a kitten, and they are slowly getting over it.

I finally started to feel like myself again around my birthday, but I seriously did not want Heath to be a part of my life anymore. His drinking was worse than ever after I lost the baby, and he just disgusted me. The night of my birthday I went out for drinks with my best friend, to only be called home because Heath had taken a baseball bat to the guy that he had been feuding withs truck. That was just the straw that broke the camels back. I kicked him out, and thought I would never look back. He was dumbfounded that I actually did it. He cried like a newborn baby, begging and pleading to come home but I stood my ground... Until I got a knock on the door from an officer letting me know that I had to let Heath in because it is his residence also. Not to mention that Heath's Mother put her 2 cents in resulting in a huge fight with her and I. She was convinced I was cheating, and Heath was doing nothing wrong. Imagine the shock when I told her that her son gets so drunk he pees himself... I got a half hearted apology from her, but I can't stand her anyways so it was no chip off my shoulder. So anyways, Heath and I ended up talking more than we probably ever have, I told him there would be no more drinking in our home, and he agreed. He also finally admitted to having a problem, and has been attending AA meetings ever since. He is currently 16 days sober, and has done a huge turn around. I realize that it's just the beginning of the road, but it's a start. I am realizing now why I fell in love with him, where 3 weeks ago I had no clue what I ever saw in the man. So we are on a road to recovery, and healing and hopefully it is a smooth one.

Now on to update about the kiddos! Kylee will be 5 next week, how in the heck is that possible? She's currently going to Kindergarten Summer School, and loving it! She goes all day, and rides a big bus. She absolutely loves it! She is probably the most trying of my 3 girls, but we are working on that.. she is just super emotional, and very hyper! Layla on the other hand is the complete opposite. She's 3 1/2 now, super independant (aside from carrying around her blankie still!) She is calm, and very easy going...just a very big tom boy. Nevaeh will be 2 on July 10th. She is the biggest Daddys girl you will ever meet. She's spoiled rotten, but she really is a good baby.

Kylee and Layla have not seen their Dad in over a year (It has been 2 for me). He currently lives in Texas, but will be flying in this week. This will be really strange for me, but I am going to do my best to be nice. I've given up on his paying child support, but I seriously hope he will finally start at least being in their lives.. wishful thinking I know.

Anways, this is what I've been up to. On top of working 40 hours a week now between nights at the library and cleaning a day care 3 times a week. I also babysit the neighbor boy who is 2 years old, 4 days a week from 9:30 am til 2:45. I'm a walking zombie!! I just have to remember one step at a time, one foot in front of the other. Bye kids!

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STEP ONE
Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fun ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

If you wish for "real life" things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.
Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post so that the holiday joy will spread
STEP TWO


Surf around your friendslist (or friendsfriends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. Here's the important part: If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use, or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free...do it! Once a wish has been granted, it will be crossed off the list.

You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf, to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not, it's your call. :)

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. You'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

MY WISHLIST

1) Candles, love them!
2) Picture frames
3) A letter, I love getting letters and never get any.
4) Girls Clothes (5T, 4T, and 2T or 24 months)
5) Coloring books and crayons for the kids.
6) Christmas cards!
7) socks for kylee and layla
8) stickers for kylee
9) socks for me!
10) and another car, that fits 3 kids comfortably!





CONTACT INFO; christina whitehead 3021 pembroke ln. apt 6 high ridge mo, 63049

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So I'm sure you're all aware that I barely ever post in here anymore. I do still read everyday, but I just have no motivation to write in here, I wish I did. However, I do still blog on myspace so please add me there if you haven't already and are curious as to whats up with me!

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=11785346

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1. First Name: Christina

2. Age: 23

3. Location: High Ridge, MO

4. Occupation: I work nights at the local library and I do a little of everything, mostly cleaning and organizing. I work about 25 hours a week- 8:30pm-1am 6 days a week. Oh yeah, and I'm a Mommy during the day to three kids under the age of four... that is by far my real "job"

5. Partner?: Heath- We've been together for 2 years now. I love him and am so glad that I have such a great guy in my life.

6. Kids: Kylee- almost 4
Layla- 2 1/2
Nevaeh- almost 1

7. Brothers/Sisters: I have 2 half brothers (both 5 years old) and a step-brother (12).


8. Pets: Two kitty cats, Sammy (orange tabby) and Smokey (Siamese). And a baby leopard Gecko.(sex and name to be determined) haha

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:

1. Kylee will be turning FOUR on the 29th. Can't believe that!! She's growing so fast!
2. Nevaeh will be ONE on July 10th. She's getting so big!
3. Kylee will be starting pre-school in August.

10) Where and for what did you go to school for?:
Midwest Institute for Vet Assisting.

11) Parents?
My Mom lives about an hour from me, we talk a few times a week and visit every couple of months, she has issues.. thats about all I'm goin to say about that! My Dad is about 4 hours from me, LOVE HIM so much but don't get to see him often.

12) Who are some of your closest friends?:
Karie and Angie... Never see Karie anymore and I work with Angie and live in the same apartment complex as her.
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Also:

I am hoping: that Heath can get more work next week.

I wish: We didn't have to worry about money.

I wish: my wisdom teeth didnt hurt so bad.

I wish: i could get a new car.

I wish: gas prices would go down.

I wish: i could get more sleep.

I wish: nevaeh didnt have to wear her helmet anymore.

I wish: i had new contacts, my old ones are killing me and i have no money to get a new exam and new contacts.

I wish: i could get out of debt. i owe about 5 grand in credit cards, i pay over $200 a month in just credit card payments. my student loans are all being put off, but i owe about 10,000. i still owe 7 grand on my car. i don't think i'll ever pay everything off.

Awesome Graphics and Myspace Layouts at pYzam.com

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dont mind my baby talk.. but nevaeh learned how to clap!

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I know I know, it's been forever since I've written. I think I mentioned before that we were moving into a townhouse? Well it took like a month to get the internet turned on. Anyway, I'm back..

Girls are great! We took them last weekend to have their holiday pictures taken. JC Penneys was PACKED!!! We waited for two hours.. and thank goodness the girls were in good moods, and they turned out really well. We ended up buying their special card or whatever that waives all sitting fees for the next 2 years and like 4 sheets of photos for $32.00. I don't know how that happened, because we spent 30 minutes arguing with them over our coupons, but I didn't argue with that price!

We put our Christmas tree up yesterday, but it is still not decorated. We don't have any ornaments yet! We went to Wal-mart last night and got some things, but we forgot hooks to hang them :/

Can you believe Layla will be 2 on December 19th. Time really flies! Nevaeh is 4 1/2 months old now. She is sitting up (with a little help), "talking" and laughs at pretty much everything I do or say to her. Kylee's getting a big girl bed and a new bedroom set for christmas. I think she's going to be super excited.

Other than that I'm working at 2 different librarys at night, and I absolutely love it. Heaths still working for the graphics company, and he loves it too. We're doing great! We made our first turkey for Thanksgiving, and it turned out really good. We had a good time.

Thats it for now!