thorne_scratch

This is a placeholder for an entry of some kind that I'll write when I'm not driving to three different 24 hour stores looking for a particular kind of styrofoam cup for my mother, goddamn.

ETA: CUPS FINALLY FOUND, SERIOUSLY, GODDAMN. Apparently, they needed to be both the kind that holds hot liquids (doable) and not clash with the planned event's color scheme (hoo boy). apparently there is a lack of basic white styrofoam cups in my general vicinity. I wonder why.

Anyway. I am tired and cranky, so there is not too much in me to write an entry tonight. Instead, I am going to post some links. All of them are food related because I didn't eat dinner tonight, and it is sort of on my mind.

Summer love and honeysuckle sorbet from Crook's Corner - A story of honeysuckle sorbet! Which I have intended to try and make myself for over a year now; I left it too long last year. I have sort of built it up in my mind, so I hope it doesn't disappoint, but I do love honeysuckle, invasive weed status notwithstanding. Summer isn't summer without the smell of honeysuckle on a hot, still night.

The Little Library Cafe - Blogger posts recipes about foods inspired by books she's read, some childhood and some other.

How to Cook the Perfect... - I stumbled onto this from something Flidget had linked me to in the Guardian, probably about Tom Daley. A series on cooking the perfect-- well, whatever it is they're featuring.

Say Hello to the Pineberry, the White Strawberry That Tastes Like a Pineapple - These are funny looking. I MUST TRY THEM.

15 Beautiful Cakes That Will Inspire You to Be a Bigger Asshole - These just made made laugh.

The Best Food Books of 2015 - Food books are my not so secret vice. I just like reading about food and cooking. Some interesting picks in here.

A Renegade Muscles In on Mister Softee’s Turf and Ice-Cream Man Attacks Pretzel Seller With Bat in a Street-Vendor Turf War. New York continues to be late to the bat-wielding homicidal ice cream man hijinks. WE HAD THAT SHIT COVERED IN MARYLAND LONG AGO. But seriously, I had to reread both articles to make sure Fred hadn't expanded his empire to new York, because that wouldn't have surprised me at all. (For those late to the party, the previous linked tag should explain it-- Fred the Homicidal Ice Cream Man is a figure who looms large in my journal over these many years. I haven't seen him yet this year, but I haven't been to the pool yet, so that would explain it.

Now in those days a decree went out from Darth Vader, that a census be taken of all the inhabited universe. This was the first census taken while Laguna was president of Esthar, though everyone knew that Kiros really ran the country. And everyone was on his way to register for the census, each to his own city. thebaconfat also went down from Canada, from the city of Bacon, to the city of Emu which is somewhere in one of those flat states with all the corn—not for the census, but because she was trying to get to a Murder by Death concert, in order to attend along with squeemu, who was engaged to her, and had already bought the tickets. While they were there, they had some adventures and ended up in Chicago, and then returned to Canada in a blazing chariot pulled by emus, for it was thebaconfat's birthday, and all rejoiced.

Baco, you are a lovely human being, and I would be fully willing to believe you were the Messiah, not only because I know you're as cool in person as you are online, but also because your username indicates you are made of a delicious meaty substance that I would be totally on board for eating in some kind of cannibalistic religious ritual. But I like you so much, that if you don't want me to eat you, I am also cool with that. Have a wonderful birthday, and I hope your year only gets better.

In comparison, the monthly Louise and Fred report seems barely worth mentioning, even if it does involve house fires.

( And not by whom you might be expecting, either.Collapse )

I have decided to save World Cup discussion for later, as I anticipate exchanging many incoherent emails with Flidget tomorrow. Also, I need to write her the cross-verse Squeenix football AU. So have some links.

( Linkage pertaining to sandwiches, Beat poets, Oz alumni, deadly warriors, writing,exotic animals, Stephen King, the all-singing all-dancing military, more creepy animals, and Michael Phelps.Collapse )

I also have a Venus Fly Trap now, though I am terrified of killing it, since not only does it have a personality, I kinda worry that it may attack me for sustenance in place of insects. I am having a delightful time keeping it gorged on moths and flies, but I need to come up with a name.

It's Wednesday, and I'm dumping links instead of writing a long entry about gay cowboys.

Why Exercise Won't Make You Thin. I give up. I have no idea what to believe these days. Though, I think the article remains with the valid point that while you may or may not lose weight from exercise, it's still vital to enhancing heart health and helping prevent disease, as well as improving your mental health and cognitive ability.

The 50 Funniest Scenes in the History of Film. Via Twig. There's a lot of classics included in this one, though sometimes I think there were funnier scenes in the movies they chose. Still, I wholeheartedly agree with the top choice.

When Parents Scream Against Ice Cream. Also via Twig. New York parents are rebelling against ice cream men. The article is interesting, though my reaction was instantaneously, what the hell, dude? DON'T RUIN A HALLOWED AMERICAN INSTITUTION. Just say no to your kid. If they're old enough to want to buy ice cream on their own, trust me, your little sprogs will find a way and banning the ice cream men won't solve it.

In Chicago last fall, the City Council banned ice cream trucks from the 18th Ward after residents complained about unclean vendors, noise and, more troubling, possible drug sales inside some of the trucks.

You know, I'd be more sympathetic, except I'm about 95% sure my local ice cream man is selling the organs of his competitors out of the back of his truck, and I just can't work up the outrage for ordinary pedestrian drug deals.

Silent Hill 2 - The Making Of. I talk about this game a lot, but that's only because it's so goddamn well made. If you're a fan, I recommend watching this video for the really cool art, the hilarious Engrish, and some genuinely cool stuff about how they formulated the game. Also, the early versions of Pyramid Head look like the scariest, angriest potato in the world. Link is part 1 of 4.

Man Meets Whale. It delivers pretty much exactly what it advertises. Awesome pictures.

And finally, the zombie link and my hypothesis, So, Flidget linked me to an article about a mathematical exercise carried out by researchers in Canada, hypothesizing how best to deal with a zombie attack. You can even see their actual study! Apparently, the researcher is named Robert Smith? with a question mark in order to differentiate him from Robert Smith of the Cure. This strikes me as an odd way to differentiate yourself, but what do I know.

But after reading the article, I choose to believe that the researcher actually is Robert Smith of The Cure, and the band is merely a front for fighting undead creatures of the night. In fact, I'm pretty sure Robert Smith is the male version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Only, you know, for zombies.

Think about it. It makes so much sense.

Every other day or so, I open a tab to livejournal and start trying to compose an entry; then I think, "Nah, no one wants to hear about that," and close it again. And in this manner, nothing ever gets written.

I hope all my American friends had good Independence Day celebrations, and that no one blew their face off with firecrackers! My family nearly always spends at least part of Fourth of July at our local pool. The menu sometimes changes, the games have undergone some adaptations, but one thing remains constant: a rousing game of watermelon polo to conclude the festivities.

( If you've never had to sit in an emergency room and fill out paperwork on a fruit-related concussion, you cannot be said to have truly livedCollapse )

Fred, the homicidal ice cream man, has opened a new shaved ice stand, so now his son drives the truck more often. This is mildly sad, because Fred's son, while a nice young lad, is just not as interesting and unpredictably violent as Fred. He seems the sort who would try logic and reason with his competitors, rather than rushing at them with a baseball bat whilst screaming bloody murder. Fred's son assured me that Fred would be coming back later.

Much more to say and post later. Been eaten by life, ever since the end of May, but hopefully I'll be able to make myself write about it all eventually, in a slightly more humorous way than it has been happening to me. Or I'll just write about Hetalia, and slap up a bunch of IM conversations about fandoms.

In other news, wanna know the fucking weather?

Busy, busy. Work eats my head (with new office politics! o help, I am no good at office politics), two of my friends are getting deployed next week, and the economy is doing its best ROCKS FALL, EVERYONE DIES impression. So, I'll save all the depressing, serious stuff for another day and just be shallow right now.

( Thoughts on the season premiere of Supernatural, a short conversation about an athletic reality show that should be made, and a slight peek at the inside life of an ice cream manCollapse )

You made it through! Have some music.

( Music Post: Theme is still MIACollapse )

My God, but Michael Phelps owns some of the ugliest Speedos I've ever seen in my life. I think it might actually call for an ugly Speedos picture post. I was trying to do at least one post without swimming dominating it, but this would be for the good of the world, much like when Ian Thorpe was experimenting with mullets and had to be called out on his tomfoolery.

So, yeah, you thought I was going to shut up about swimming? I thought I was too, and then I saw the following photoshoot.

( Image heavy. Oiled-up, near-naked homoeroticism below the cutCollapse )

I might have to actually buy the damn magazine.

I ran into the oft-mentioned Fred, the Homicidal Ice Cream Man over the weekend. We renewed our friendship over snowcones and Fred complaining bitterly about gas prices and the new Italian Ice business that is honing in on his territory. "I have been coming here for twenty four years," he said angrily, "and it used to be the lifeguards chased away the interloping people. Now I must deal with it on my own. Now they make me pay to come here. There is no more respect. There is none."

"You still have your baseball bat, right?" I asked him.

"Do not worry about Fred," he told me simply. "Fred will take care of himself. You are a good girl. A friend of Fred's."

Basically, if you hear of any unsolved murders involving ice cream men or vendors of Italian ice, I'd advise staying well out of it. Some enemies are just not worth having, and once the ice cream men are against you, you might as well just pack it in and give up.

I don't know if you can have a sexual harassment class for lifeguarding and pool maintenance. The uniform requirements alone make it kind of pointless. They're thinking of giving us one anyway. At least it can't have a worse movie than the actual certification and CPR classes.

(One of the other lifeguards, out of curiosity, asked the boss if our manager had special sexual harassment rules applied to him. The boss didn't really have anything to say to this except something along the lines of, "You mean he's playing grabdick on the clock? Goddamnit, boy, that's company time!" I sort of agree.)

( Quick thoughts on meatworld and fandomCollapse )

So, I have about fifty lifeguard-related things to mention, none of which I'm sure are very interesting to anyone but me. I do feel it is necessary though to do an update on Fred.

( The Merrie Comedie of the Ice Cream Man, part 2Collapse )

My life is sometimes indescribably weird.

A meme:

1. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
2. I will then tell what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be.
4. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
5. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
6. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.

I once wrote an absolutely horrendous vid-fic to that song. Funny what the radio will make you think of when you're driving. I'm lucky I didn't rear-end someone after the jolt of sucktastic memory.

Worked at a different pool today because they were short on people.

( Substitute etiquette and the Merrie Comedie of the Ice-Cream ManCollapse )

Does anyone even read it when I blather about stuff like this? Seriously.

I want to work on a story-- any story-- but instead, I think I'm going to go to sleep.