thorne_scratch

It's Friday, and I'd honestly rather take a relaxing bath instead of write a real entry. So I am going to post three Achewood comics behind the cut, and call it a day.

( Fuck You Friday Returns!Collapse )

I'm actually at my parents' house doing something for them, and listening to my father yell at Jonathan Papelbon and grouse to himself. "I just don't know why. Why can't closers just throw better?" (There is a pause.) "I guess that's why they're closers and not starters. I guess I answered that myself."

I love my Dad.

Tomorrow I shall go pick strawberries, mostly for jam and fresh eating, but also so I can then try some kind of interesting strawberry shortcake recipe that involves using grated hardboiled egg yolks in the biscuit dough. It's supposed to create an exceptionally tender crumb. All I know is I nearly concussed myself on my computer screen, lunging at it to try and lick the pictures.

The Nationals are dying a slow and humiliating death after being predicted to take it all? Skins are already in Shitshow DEFCON 1? Caps are—actually, they're relatively stable right now, since the season is still a month away, so we'll give them a pass. Wait, what's that you say? Backstrom might not be able to play at the start of the season? HURRAY FOR DC SPORTS: WHERE NO ONE GETS TO BE HAPPY. OR IF THEY DO, IT IS ONLY FOR MAXIMUM PAIN EFFECT WHEN IT SWITCHES BACK AGAIN. Ah, fuck it. Whatever. Let's have some music. Let's have a lot of music. Nothing takes your mind momentarily off being kicked in the teeth like music.

Originally this post was going to be all bile and anger and despair, but then thebaconfat needed to be appreciated, so now this post is for her instead. Baco is the best.

( Music Post: Baco, This Illegally Posted Music Is For YouCollapse )

Also, I'm off to Sam Francisco for a wedding in wine country that might very well drive me insane. I look forward to this, as I am told insane people do not get as upset about their baseball clubs being shitshows, and that sounds nice.

I only seem to update any more when I am leaving the state to go somewhere else. Very well, I am leaving for San Francisco! Like, at four in the morning. In the ridiculous pantheon of horribleness that is my life this year, I was flying home from San Diego when I found out my uncle was dying, and it all sort of went to pot again. A while ago I started writing down what happened at Louise's funeral and wake; some time I will finish that, and then you guys are going to get to hear about The Time Thorne Cried Really Hard In An Airport Front Of Her Coworker, An Airline Clerk, And A Bunch Of Drunk Germans And Freaked Out Everybody In The Process. I may recite it in iambic pentameter.

At any rate, this was exactly a month ago; when you have the misfortune to die in a country not your own (even one as innocuously inoffensive as Canada in this case), it's still a bitch and a half to move a body across country borders, so we are only just now getting to hold the funeral and memorial. (Of course, it somehow ended up exactly on the weekend I had scheduled to go away for vacation. So that happened, but I've rescheduled so it's not the end of the world.) It's the first Chinese funeral I've been to since my grandmother died about fourteen years ago, and my lasting impression of them is we basically spend a lot of time eating. I plan to also spend the majority of my time with my tiny cousins, because chasing a bunch of happily shrieking four year olds around is good balm for sadness.

I don't know what it is about this year. Every time I think I've gotten back on my feet, something comes and knocks me off them again. I can't remember a worse year I've had; not even any of the hobbies and things I look to for pleasure or distraction—sports, writing, books, cooking, hiking, etc.—seem to give me anything. They're fraught with disappointment. My temper smolders on the shortest of fuses. My laptop burned out right when I got home, and the repair place has yet to give it back to me. Not only do I miss being happy, I miss feeling anything other than mostly kind of hopeless. I mean, mostly, because there are some good moments. Last night, for example, I had a great conversation about pirates! And also horse dicks. And I have had family and friends, lovely, lovely people who have been infinitely patient with me and kind when I was either an amorphous blob of depression, a raging wad of anger, or both.

But good Christ, this year has blown like hell. My union gonna hear about this.

Anyway. Life's not all bad; it just seems that way. The other day I ate a chicken sandwich that was so good, it was like tasting God. Life is worth living as long as there are delicious sandwiches out there in the world. This is a philosophy that's served me well.

…HERE IS ANOTHER POEM ABOUT DEATH. Also a picture of Bryce Harper getting drenched in Gatorade because that amuses me, and a picture of Megan Fox in a dress covered with keys because she's pretty and so is the dress, and Alexander Ovechkin drenching himself with ice water for a good cause. (Michael Phelps also did stuff this past week, but not well, so I've left him out of the round-up to shame him into DOING BETTER.)

( Poems and picturesCollapse )

In my usual "Thorne leaves state, hockey stuff happens" predictions, I predict the Caps sign Biz-Nasty. Oh, and you should watch this Utena music vid by shati because it's awesome.

MUST POST BEFORE THE YEAR ENDS SO I CAN PROVE I'M NOT DEAD.

Due to various family emergencies and life events, I accidentally fell off the internet back in October and have been desperately clawing my way back ever since. There were monkey knife fights and everything. I kept writing lj entries and then abandoning them, and eventually I just gave in to the fact I was not going to be able to do anything until January. I apologize to everyone who has Christmas gifts still sitting in my dining room, waiting to be mailed.

Here are some random things! They are very random.

( Stuff!Collapse )

I need to dump the majority of the links I've had from the last three months and start fresh in 2013. Therefore, prepare for link smorgasbord.

( Links!Collapse )

Welp, that should do it. Yuletide recs come when I, er, actually get to read them. Have a safe and happy end of 2012, everyone. Next year, I resolve to be better about posting, and also to finish that moon death laser. See you on the other side.

So, in the last couple weeks, I did the following things, starting from most recent--

-Hunkered down and came through Hurricane Sandy with minimal damage and inconvenience. I was very lucky. I hope everyone else in the Northeast is doing okay.

-Started, from having too much sibling rivalry and time on my hands and access to farmers markets, making various home liquors and aging them in the bottom enclosed shelves of my family room bookcase (I have a note on the fridge to remind me that they're there). So far, have a spiced pineapple liquor, two kinds of raspberry liquor, two kinds of plum pseduo-slivovitz, and something called a "fall cordial" that starts with an apple cider and brandy base.

-Watched my second oldest brother get married, leaving me the last single sibling. This was the first family wedding I'd been to in ten years that didn't take place A) In San Francisco B) St. Louis C) the Czech Republic or D) on an abandoned ostrich farm on the top of a West Virginia mountain (you think I am kidding, I am not kidding) so it was rather nice. Nearly all the family came, including (as previously mentioned) most of the contingents from San Francisco and St. Louise. This is relevant because I also...

-Invested feelings in baseball because of lack of hockey and swimming, only to have exactly what I knew would happen when the Washington Nationals emulated the Washington Capitals and choked their way out of the first round of playoffs. THANKS A LOT, NATS. Well, we'll always have Let Teddy Win and Take On Me for the memories. I sadly switched to cheering for the San Francisco Giants because I like that set of relatives better, given the raw playoff feelings, and I'm mostly happy for them and their victory.

-Set off some fireworks in the kitchen.

All of these probably deserve longer stories, and we'll get to those, but for tonight, I think we'll just stick with a Halloween entry. Because I like horror, and I've been gathering links all month and I don't want them to go to waste.

( A variety of links pertaining to horror and creepiness-- includes articles, webcomics, video sites, stories etc.Collapse )

I was thinking about one of the links and something I meant to do for this entry-- make an exhaustive list of unlikely things that scared me in childhood. But if I ever want to run for office or become some kind of overlord tyrant-king, probably is best not to leave such lists lying around. But for the sake of it, here are seven random things that scared me or creeped me out as a kid, most of them pretty ridiculous.

( Childhood trauma in handy list formatCollapse )

If you share your childhood things, I certainly won't even use those against you! (Mostly, I just want some reassurance that I'm not the weirdest person out there.) Now I have to go carve a pumpkin. Last year, it was Caps-themed; I was going to go Nats-themed this year, but given the disappointment, it may just be a normal face.

...is what it feels like. Last week, it was like someone just hit the seasonal switch and the temperature dropped twenty degrees and now it is well and truly fall. Which is nice, I like fall. But it seemed unusually abrupt this year; on Saturday I was wearing a sun-dress and sandals, and then the next day, it was full on boots and coat necessary.

Also, stupid motherfucking Nats, I did not bandwagon you and learn about baseball so that you could do THE EXACT SAME THING TO ME THAT THE 2009-2010 CAPITALS DID SO GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SHIT IN GEAR AND WIN TWO GAMES STRAIGHT RIGHT FUCKING NOW. I AM NOT EVEN JOKING. I HAVE NO NHL HOCKEY TO WATCH AND I HAVE OBNOXIOUS CRAZY RIGHT WING RELATIVES FROM ST. LOUIS COMING TO VISIT NEXT WEEK AND GODDAMN IF I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THEM CROWING ABOUT BASEBALL IN ADDITION TO THEIR USUAL RELIGIOUS AND POLITICAL CRAP, SO WIN. RIGHT. FUCKING. NOW. NO ARGUMENTS!

Right, where was I. I think I was going to post some music.

( Music Post: Mostly energetic stuff with a brief stop in Johnny Cashville.Collapse )

Things Amazon is currently recommending to me as personal recs:

-Nylon Paracord
-14-Inch Hatchet
-Axe and Knife Sharpener
-18-Volt 22-Inch Cordless Electric Hedge Trimmer
-Garmin Nuvi GOS Unit
-Various Steven King eBooks
-Plastic water proof camera
-Mystic Wand vibrator
-24-Inch Survival Pocket Chain Saw With Pouch

...I'm not sure, but I think Amazon is trying to turn me into some kind of serial killer, possibly with a sexual pervert angle. It is mildly concerning. Also it is reccing me a wide variety of homoerotic hockey eBooks with titles like "Between the Pipes", "Offside Pass", "Cherrypicker", "Playing the Point", "Change on the Fly", and my personal favorite, "Cup Check". They are absolutely terrible (every damn team is named the Hawks! every team!), and I am enjoying them like hell. Anyway, my serial killer dreams will need to continue unrealized for now, and here are some links.

( Links about doritos, lesbians, fairy tale illustrations, food writing, and cool pictures.Collapse )

Gumby on the Google page is kind of freaking me out, but I've always been inexplicably afraid of him. I think it's because he seems sort of indestructible.

You know what topic breaks the ice at any cocktail party or social gathering? Hillbilly Handfishin'. Everyone in the goddamn world has an opinion on that show, and if they haven't heard of it, they have Serious Thoughts on it about two seconds after you explain what it is. I have been to three events in three weeks, and it has come up big every single time.

( A hat trick of sports, some pics, some links, and a story about raccoons beneath the cutCollapse )

I want to do a meme! Give me a pairing and I will tell you:

1. What they most commonly do during sex
2. Who has prettier hair
3. What they argue about most often
4. Who'd cope best if the other one died
5. The happiest plausible happily-ever-after I can think of for them.

(I have noted on past memes that some of y'all seem to think it's funny as shit to give me weird-ass pairings that make no sense and would give no pleasure to anyone on earth to imagine the involved people/characters boning. Fair enough; I forged that reputation myself and I probably deserve every ounce of horror derived from picturing, say, Pope Benedict XVI's wobbling scrotum while mid-coitus in the reverse cowgirl. But if you give me a weird pairing for the sake of weird, I reserve the right to half-ass the answer, or at least to try to make you just as horrified. I am spiteful and full of hate.

…Huh. Reading that back, I find myself intrigued by the different ways adding the –ass qualifier to a word works. I feel like this could be deserving of further rumination.)