MILL VALLEY, CA—Having proudly removed the piece of shriveled penile flesh from its bag and laid it next to her large selection of craft supplies, local mother Emily Taylor spent the afternoon scrapbooking her son’s foreskin, wincing sources reported Tuesday. According to witnesses, the foreskin, which had belonged to her 6-day-old infant son before being snipped off the tip of his penis with surgical scissors, was saved, preserved, and then attached by Taylor to an ornately decorated page titled “Special Memories.” Despite multiple sources confirming that Taylor’s baby in no way enjoyed the procedure, and in fact sobbed and cried through the entire circumcision, his mother was reportedly undeterred and proceeded to cover the memento in heart stickers, glitter, and smiley faces before excitedly telling her husband that their son would ‘love this one day.’ At press time, Taylor was said to be celebrating the foreskin’s placement in her baby’s scrapbook with a large bite of raw placenta she had been saving in the fridge.
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